Wedding Hive Podcast
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Wedding Hive Podcast
027- Five Communication Tools To Save Your Sanity Before “I Do”
We share five simple communication tools to turn wedding stress into stronger connection and long-term habits you can trust. From I-statements to cooldowns, we show how to keep love first while planning details that can easily take over.
• using I-statements to lower defensiveness
• scheduling wedding talk time to protect us time
• assuming good intentions when mistakes happen
• listening without fixing and asking the magic question
• normalizing conflict and using planned cooldowns
• practicing repair to build trust for future seasons
• applying these tools from centerpieces to big life choices
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Hey Queens, welcome to the Wedding Hive Podcast, the podcast where we give you the tips, tricks, tea, and all the buzz in the wedding world. I'm Kelsey, and today we're getting into something that might not sound as exciting as cake tasting or dress shopping, but I promise it is way more important. Yep, today we are talking about communication. But it's not just the usual how was your day kind of communication. We're talking about the how do we not lose our minds over a seating chart at midnight kind of communication. The kind of communication that will not only help you plan your wedding, but build a marriage that actually lasts. So if you're already stressed, snapping at snapping at each other over napkin colors or just trying to be proactive, this one's for you. Today we're going to dive into five communication tools that you can use right now that will not only make wedding planners planning smoother, but also set you up for stronger conversations in years down the road. So the first tool this is the I statements, not accusation. There's this thing, and it's super easy to blame when you're stressed, but let's try to shift it. Instead of saying you never help me with planning, try saying, I feel overwhelmed when I'm handling things alone. I could really use your help. See the difference? I statements take blame out of the equation and help your partner hear what you need, not just what you're frustrated about. It keeps conversations calm and a lot less defensive. Those I statements are huge because the last thing you want is to accuse, add fuel to the fire, and now everybody is crying and the cat is hiding under the couch. The second tool is schedule wedding talk time. Planning a wedding can easily take over absolutely every conversation. Suddenly, your cozy date turns into a logistics meeting. Romantic, right? So here's the fix: set aside specific times during the week that are just for wedding talk. That way you both know when it's happening and when it's not. This keeps the rest of your relationship from turning into an all-out one giant to-do list. Have dinner nights where wedding talk is off limit. You want to protect your us time. Your third tool, assume good intentions. Let's be honest. Someone forgets to follow up with catering, or you accidentally triple book the florist or pick the wrong napkin color. And when this happens, it's easy to take it personally. But here's the truth: most of the time, mistakes aren't malice. We're just human. So when something goes sideways, try to pause and say to yourself, My partner is not trying to ruin our wedding. They just missed something. Assume they want to do their best, even if they're not perfect at it. You are on the same team. Even if one of you is a spreadsheet person and the other one is just here for the cake tastings. Fourth tool. And please listen to this one. This has saved my marriage time and time again. This one is big. Sometimes, let me go back. Our fourth tool: listen without fixing. If you can master this, you have a great road ahead of you. Sometimes your partner just needs to vent, not be coached, and to not be corrected, not be handed a solution on a clipboard with seven steps to fix the problem. Again, sometimes we just need to vent. So try this magic question. Do you want advice or do you want me to listen? Let's say it again. Do you want advice or do you just want me to listen? Because chances are they don't want to be told how to fix it. They don't want to be told where they were right or where they were wrong or where the mistake is. They just want to be heard and they want to know that you are with them. So make sure you are listening without fixing. Clarify, do you want my advice? Can I help you with this, babe? Or am I here to listen as a safe person? And then when these roles are reverse, let them be that soft place for you too. Fifth tool. And this one is really good. And I will go into it a little bit as we go down. But fifth tool is normalize conflict and cooldowns. Listen, planning a wedding is kind of like building IKEA furniture together, and you will hit a few rough patches, maybe lose a screw, and someone might storm off halfway through. Conflict is normal. What matters is how you handle it. So going into my random tangent, growing up, I never saw my parents have conflict. I never saw my parents fight. I never saw any issues. I grew up thinking that everything was perfect all the time. Then I got married and my husband and I started having it out. And I was like, wow, this marriage is doomed. Because I didn't know conflict was normal and that it's healthy. And healthy conflict results in healthy, oh, what's the word for it? Um, healthy reconciliation. So conflict is normal. What matters is how you handle it. So if you feel yourself getting too heated, take a break and say, let's pause and come back to this in an hour. That doesn't mean you're giving up. It means that you care enough to talk when you're both in a better space to listen and solve. Marriage isn't about avoiding conflict. It's about handling it with respect and intentions. So the way you two talk now during the stress, the late nights, and the guest list debates, this is your practicing grounds. You're building the communication muscles that will carry you through the big conversations to come. Kids, money, moving, in-laws, career changes, all the fun, grown-up stuff. These tools, they're just, they're not here just to get you through the wedding. They're building a relationship that actually works one conversation at a time. So, yes, today it's about centerpieces. Five years from now, it might be about moving to a new city. Either way, these habits will serve you. So take a breath, give yourself some grace, and remember, you don't need to have perfect communication. You just need to have intentional conversations. Start small, be kind, and talk to each other with love, even when you're frustrated. If you've got a communicationship tip that you're working on or something that has worked for you, I'd love to hear it. Come share it with me over on Instagram at the Wedding Hive Podcast. Thank you so much for listening to today's episode on the Wedding Hive Podcast, where we give you the tips, tricks, tea, and all the buzz in the wedding world. Until next time, remember it's not just your day, it's your love story. Two hearts, one future. Bye, guys.