Wedding Hive Podcast
Giving you the tea and ALL the buzz in the wedding world! New episodes every Wednesday!
Wedding Hive Podcast
032 - Our First Friendsgiving With Special Guests
We host a Friendsgiving with brides-to-be and a newlywed to trade love stories, planning wins, boundary-setting, and the hard truths about budgets, vendors, and family dynamics. The talk stays candid, warm, and practical with real fixes for real wedding stress.
• bold first-date moments and slow-burn love turning into commitments
• planning faster timelines, venue tours, and guest lists that fit real life
• picking bridal party sizes that fit both sides
• clear communication with vendors and labeled logistics
• why videography and photography are worth the spend
• setting boundaries the week before and on the day
• navigating friend wedding date conflicts with grace
• handling family drama and protecting the ceremony
• trends to retire and safety concerns with décor
• late-night bites pros and cons based on run time
Shout out to Catering by Secora for providing this delicious meal for us tonight. They are owned by Bobby Hughes, located in Phoenix. So if you were looking for a delicious cater, be sure to check them out. Otherwise, we will see you on Instagram, TikTok, and be sure to check out our latest episode.
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Hey Queens, it's healthy and grease with Wedding Hive Hive. Giving you the tea and hey Queens, welcome to today's episode of the Wedding Hive podcast. And today we have some very special guests with us because we are celebrating our friends giving. So our very first friends. Today we have Carly, we have Brie, and we have Danny with us. And then of course Grace is here too. Yes. So we're going to dig in. And Grace, do you want to start us off with our yes or no?
SPEAKER_04:Our yes or no question for our rides to be. Okay. So the question is did you know your husband fiance was the one right away? Who wants to? Yeah. Do I need a write? Yes, yes. We'll start with you, Danny. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Um, I kind of did. Um, I am, I've dated like the whole it was a lot, like on the apps and everything like that. Um, actually, the funny thing is we called my um now fiance The Bachelor because he was very upfront that um the first date that we went on, um he was like, I had a great time, I really want to see you again, but I will be honest, I do have another date tomorrow. So he was very and so me, I was like, Are you kidding me? That's so ridiculous. All my friends are like, that's great. He's honest with you. And I was like, no, I need you to be on my side here. Um so yeah, and so um I was like, Well, what are you doing after your date then? And so I was like, challenge accepted. And so we got drinks after his uh second date with another person, and then he never saw a person again, and then we literally were inseparable. Um, so yeah, that was a little, I like was like, no, like we had a lot in common. You said you're not going nowhere. You're saying with me. Yeah, so the joke is now like I got the final rose and all that.
SPEAKER_04:So that's awesome. That's cute.
SPEAKER_05:All right, Carly, you're up.
unknown:Okay.
SPEAKER_05:I'm gonna say yes, but I didn't recognize it at the time or I didn't want to. I was a little skittish. Um, I had been in a long-term relationship, didn't date for a few years. Um, and I was like happy being alone. Um, so Ryan and I met actually in 2014, and we walk we met at school, we were always just casual friends. And then in December of 2022, like we'd kind of lost touch, you know, as people do. December 2022, I was in Las Vegas for the National Finals rodeo. I don't know if you guys know that. So um he called me and I hadn't talked to him in years. And he called me, he's like, Hey, I saw you're in town. What are you doing tonight? And I'm like, oh yeah, we're just gonna go here, watch the rodeo. Like, you should come. I would love to see my dear friend Ryan. And I've always thought Ryan was great. And as the night progressed and we were hanging out, I was like, Do I like Ryan? Like I just felt I just felt something because I'd never seen him that way before, and he never saw me that way. And so I was like, I'm feeling something that like I've never felt before. So it always felt different from the very beginning. It's always been super easy and there was no anxiety. It was just always just so calm being with Ryan. I also have to throw in a fun fact. So my nonna, my dad's mom passed away before we started dating. And um my long-term ex-boyfriend, she used to always call him Ryan. And we're like, where the I'm literally like, where the frick are you getting Ryan? Like, that's not his name, it was not even close. Not him. Yeah, it was not even close to Ryan. And so, yeah, we like to think she always knew.
SPEAKER_04:Oh, that's so cool.
SPEAKER_05:I'm gonna call it my favorite story to tell. I love it.
SPEAKER_04:I know that's so sweet. Um, let me pass it over to you, Brie. Okay, perfect.
SPEAKER_03:So I would say yes as well, only because I was working out at the gym and he was a personal trainer. I didn't need one at the time. I was good. Okay. She said, I don't need no man. But I picked him to be my trainer. And ever since then we talked, we dated. It was Rocky, it was a roller coaster. Uh we met 2016, started dating 2017, so we've been together a long time. But yeah, I would say I picked him out. So he was he was mine from the beginning. He said, I picked him. Thank you.
SPEAKER_04:Kelsey, what about you? I feel like I don't know this about you and Tomas. I know you got, I know you got married quickly, but like you knew, right?
SPEAKER_01:Or I didn't know anything.
SPEAKER_04:I know.
SPEAKER_01:No, we we met in October and we moved in together in November and we got married in December, and then we found out we were pregnant with our first together in January. And you're 12 years later though. Yep, next year we celebrate 13 years, but no, I well, actually, I would say I was like, that one, he's gonna be mine forever, and I'm gonna take you home. So just like me. Yeah, that one, it belongs to me.
SPEAKER_04:Some of us we know what we want and we go after it. So exactly. Literally.
SPEAKER_01:So, what about you and John?
SPEAKER_04:No, he always gets so mad at me. So we met working at a restaurant together, and I'd been there for a long time, and he asked me out on a date, and he was very sweet. He drove all the way to my house and picked me up and you know, paid for dinner, but he didn't stop talking the whole time. I was like, dang, this guy knows how to talk. And I did like that because it didn't feel like awkward or anything. And we obviously worked at the same restaurant. I went to my best friend who was our manager at the time and said, Yeah, like it was good, but like I don't know if I'm like feeling it. And she goes and tells him and said, Yeah, Grace didn't like the date at all.
unknown:Oh no.
SPEAKER_04:And I go up to her and I said, Why would you say that? Did she want him? No, no, no. That would be tea. I'd be like, Okay, girl. No, she didn't want him, but she's just a very straight-up person. So she said that. And a few weeks go by and he's persistent. And he said, Um, messaged me on, you know, Snapchat, you want to go to the movies? And you know, I was like, he was a gentleman, he treated me to like treated me very well. And so I was like, Yeah, let's go to the movies, but I want to pick. And we went and saw the live action Beauty and the Beast. And so he was like, Yep, whatever you want, like we'll go see it. And we held hands and went to Chipotle after. And I was like, wait, I actually really like him. I was like, he's so sweet. And so after that second date, I was like, I really like him. So I wouldn't say I knew up front, but I liked him very much. So, and now we've been together for almost nine years, and I walked down the aisle to the Beauty and the Beast song. Oh, that's it was like a full circle moment, so I know, so that was special, but let's get into it. You're up first, Kelsey.
SPEAKER_01:Sorry, the food is so good. I know, yes, for eating. Make sure you eat. Um, so today we're talking all things engagement, wedding, um, planning. So I would love to hear. Um, do you want to start, Brie? How is the sorry, I know you just put food in. I know. We're like E. And then we're like, but wait, we need to talk though. Yes. Um, do you want to start since you have the mic? How is wedding planning going? Is it everything you've dreamed of? Is it harder than you thought it was going to be? So whatever you want to share.
SPEAKER_03:I'm very like organized, detailed. I have, you know, in my calendar is like wake up, eat breakfast, like all of that. So not really, but almost. I want to be you when I grow up. It's kind of stressful, but so I'm actually pretty much done planning, except for like taking out the food, but I kind of already have to you know list of that too.
SPEAKER_04:Tell the listeners really quick when's your wedding date?
SPEAKER_03:March 1st. Okay. I've been done for about two months already. Oh, so she said I am booked and done, baby. Um dress, you know, everything. Um it's been smooth. It really has, yeah. Um a few things here or there. I'm still unde you know, undecisive on, but everything's been pretty easy. Um, I think the hardest part is gonna be the seating chart. Um the family dynamics, just because um I haven't met his side of the family at all nine years. But except for a son. Um that'll be challenging. Um and then deciding who to invite. My family's huge. And we wanted 75 to 100. So I believe my whole family is probably 300. So that was the only challenging thing.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, cooking in the seating. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:What is your wedding aesthetic or vibe?
SPEAKER_04:Oh yeah, tell us that. Yeah, very timeless or what?
SPEAKER_03:So I'm gonna pack this word by the calily flower. Yes. And then um black satin. And then little pins of gold. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Are you having bridesmaids or groomsmen, or are you just doing what's the vibe with that?
SPEAKER_03:Um my girls, my friend, and then um my best friend who passed, her daughter. And then his rock heal son. My brother.
SPEAKER_01:How old are the kids?
SPEAKER_03:13.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, that's awesome. They're gonna love that. I love how you incorporated them into the day and they get to play a special role and they're old enough to be able to remember it. Right. And like appreciate it. That would be boring and weird for them.
SPEAKER_04:So that's true. Oh, yeah. Okay, we're gonna get this mic all the way back over to our girl Danny really quick, so then we can hear all about your wedding planning process.
SPEAKER_02:So, yeah, I'm a crazy planner. So this is like my vibe. Yes, I'm thriving. Um, we haven't actually tomorrow will be one month exactly that we've been engaged. Um, so like I said, I thrive. Um I already kind of knew what venue I wanted. I just needed him to say yes. Um, I am a weirdo and was already kind of doing a guest list before. Um and yeah, I kind of already knew the colors I like wanted. I obviously want his input. Um, so yeah, I am thriving. Like I feel like super calm and like not stressed. No. And it's I mean, I used to do like as a side gig, like tablescapes and everything. So I love doing that. I used to like help with like parties and doing like charcuterie tables and things like that. So I'm just like, I love this so much.
SPEAKER_00:So yeah, we already're in our element.
SPEAKER_02:I am. We already have our colors picked out. Um again, I booked like the the walkthrough with the willow, like literally that week that we got engaged. Um, and then um we went and saw it and he was just like, yeah. So we'd originally kind of talked about before we were even engaged, getting possibly married in September, or I'm sorry, and um like spring of 27. Um, and then we got the list of like dates that are available. Um, and we were both kind of talking, we're like, why have a long engagement? Like, why don't we go sooner? Like it, there's no reason to have a year and a half like engagement where we could do it sooner. So we looked at dates and we're like, yeah, like this could totally work for us. And we were totally fine with it. Um, so we went and toured, and at the end of it, I was like, so how do you feel? And he was just like, Well, what do you feel? And I was like, no, like I wanna know.
SPEAKER_04:I want to this is your day too.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, exactly. And he's like, Yeah. He's like, I like it. And he's like, Do you want to look more? And I was like, um, I don't really think we need to. And I was like, but I want to make sure like you really like this place too. Um, and so he the one thing he was worried about is the dance floor. He's like, I feel like there's gonna be a ton of people dancing. And I was like, Okay, is that like our main concern? Is that the main issue? Yeah, and so um we talked that like I think I emailed, I think I emailed you like that night. And I was like, okay, like we wanna like get some information, things like that. Um, and then the next day we booked it and yeah, yeah, so when's your wedding date? September 25th of next year.
SPEAKER_04:I'm September 21st. Ooh, I thought you said you said 20, and I was like, is she gonna say mine too? Like, are we gonna be wedding date sisters?
SPEAKER_02:So we already have, I have a very large friend group. I'm very lucky. So I could probably have like 10 brides, like bridesmaids, but we are he's the opposite, where he has a very small group, and so he is like stretching to find people. Um, he does have a 10-year-old son, so his son is gonna be his junior best man. Um so he's gonna pick five, and I didn't want it to be like crazy off. So I'm gonna go with seven, and it's gonna be really hard because I have to have these tough conversations. Like I think that's the only thing I'm worried about, is I have to have tough conversations with some of my closest friends and be like, Okay, sorry. Like I'm not gonna be able to have you be a part of the day. Obviously, I want you to be there, but like be in the party. So I feel like that's my only like stressor right now is like telling my friends sorry because there's been ones that are like, oh, so like when are you planning this and when are you doing that? And I'm like, crap, they they automatically assume. Yeah. And so yeah, it's gonna be very that's gonna be tough, yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, I think there's so many ways though that you can incorporate like people who aren't in the bridal party, like in other things, like, hey, do you still want to come to the bachelorette party? Like, hey, I'm doing a wedding, I'm gonna go check out dresses one day. Like, would you want to be a part of that? So I think there's like a bunch of ways. I know it's tough, of course, but I think there's definitely other ways that you can like make them feel special and not feel like they're left out.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, and I already like I already know I want them to be at the bachelorette, bridal showers, all oh, perfect. They're all coming to the engagement party, so it's not like they're not gonna be a part of it, it's just they're not gonna be in the wedding. So yeah, that's the the only hard part that I'm having right now. So I have some thoughts as someone who's dealt with that.
SPEAKER_04:Okay, perfect. We'll just hop over to you.
SPEAKER_05:So one thing that I realized, because we had five and five. I didn't want a huge bridal party. I was like, I have friends that I love near and dear. My thing, ultimately, it's your wedding, and your true friends will be happy for you no matter what. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:True.
SPEAKER_05:Like, you just have to focus. It's about you and your future husband. And my whole mentality with the wedding, it's like, yeah, I want the day to go smoothly. I want it to be how I want, but it's about the marriage. I think everyone gets so caught up in like the wedding and the wedding, the wedding, and it's like, no, that's all it's about. It's like you, your husband, like that is what matters is the marriage. Yeah. So no, I totally. But no, it is very stressful.
SPEAKER_04:She's like, but on the other note, it's still not fun, but feelings are valid. Yes, literally. Um, well, since you do have the mic and they already talked about your guys' kind of engagement stories, you just got married like two weeks ago. I'm correct. October 25th. Oh, yay. Okay, so do you want to let us know how that went and did everything go as planned?
SPEAKER_05:Um, I think for the most part, um, I would say I'm like in between type A and B. I told myself, I'm like, you've got to plan a lot up front. Yep. Um, so we got engaged July of 2024. I knew I wanted a long engagement. We went with October 25th because that was my papa's birthday. We were really close when I was a kid and he passed away when I was very young. Um, and so I had a lot of time, but I'm like, you gotta get stuff done. So you're not stressing. Yeah. Um, once we got kind of down to it, I was like, oh shoot. But um, um honestly, for the most part, it was pretty drama-free. I think like whittling down the guest list. Um, one thing that I guess was kind of controversial is we had a child-free wedding, um, just counting friends and family. Cause like I we invited a lot of our friends. I didn't invite a ton of extended family. Like it, I wanted it to be about me, Ryan, and like our friends essentially, and family, of course, but um that caused a little bit of drama, not a lot, but I'm like that. I knew when we were getting into it. And then um, yeah, just shortening the guest list. We did um what you're not supposed to do. We invited more than what the venue allowed, um, which was fine. I was like, yeah, enough people will say no, but then we were kind of getting down to it, and I'm like, You're like, we're not getting enough no's here. But you're like, so you're like, so you're actually uninvited, so sorry. I was like, ooh, what are we gonna do?
SPEAKER_04:But luckily it all worked out, but oh good.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Okay. Um, sorry, I just slowly took a bite of mashed potatoes. Um, obviously, they're about to get married. Do you have any like advice for them or like anything you want them to soak in on like their wedding day?
SPEAKER_05:What would you say? These are all very cliche because I've heard them from other married people before the wedding. The day really does fly by. Just try to enjoy it. Like I said, it's about the marriage, not the day. If something happens to go wrong, which like nothing really went wrong that I can think of, like on the day of my wedding. Yeah, that I know exactly. I was like, as it should be. Like, like nothing like catastrophic, but it's really about you and your husband and just try to like enjoy it. I know that that is so cliche, but like it is true. If something goes wrong, no one's gonna know. I'm kind of nervous because now we have family coming to town and wanting to come in at the week before, and I'm like, honestly, I wouldn't tell them no. No, it it's okay to say no. Yeah. Um yeah, yeah. Um, so Ryan is f Ryan's from New Mexico, so his family was traveling from out of town. They came in early, and I hung out with them here and there, but I was like, this week is exhausting enough for me. Like, it's okay to say no and just be like, hey, like I just kind of need like some me time. And they were very understanding. So yeah, just I mean, it's your day.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. I would just set boundaries or be like, hey, on Tuesday's my one day that like I'm making for friends and family. Otherwise, the rest of the week, like, I'm focused on me. Yeah, and ghost mode.
SPEAKER_02:Like take the week off before because that's where I'm at. Yes.
SPEAKER_04:Okay. Just do it. I always I and like maybe that like obviously I don't know everyone, everyone's financial situation is different, but like you really only get married once. So I just I would suggest I didn't work that whole week because I was like, I want to focus on that, I want to be rested, I want to enjoy it all and soak it in.
SPEAKER_03:So and what happens in that week?
SPEAKER_05:Because I know like hair and makeup, that's running up, but like that week for people really happens. Any beauty appointments, like I think the full week before, like I got a fair nails Monday, I got brows and lashes done. Um, I got my nails done somewhere in there, a spray tan. I did that like two days before the wedding, so just kind of stuff like that was the main things that had to check off the lowest.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, and it adds up really quick, and then it's like any last-minute planning stuff, and then you have the rehearsal the day before. So it's a lot.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Um, do you have like a planner or a coordinator that's working with you?
unknown:The event does, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Okay. So, you know, they'll make sure that all vendors are communicated with, everybody has their arrival time, who point of contact is for any type of deliveries because the person that you're working with during like the booking and invoicing process probably isn't gonna be the delivery point person. So everybody wants to make sure. Um, and your coordinator should be the one that's doing this, but you'll want to kind of just make sure that everything is where it needs to be and game planned ahead of time. So when wedding day comes, they know who to communicate with.
SPEAKER_04:Right. Yeah, always have a middle person who they can.
SPEAKER_01:If you're providing anything, um, you'll probably spend your week counting boxes and constantly taking things out of boxes and putting things back into boxes.
SPEAKER_04:That's true.
SPEAKER_01:And then DIYs or anything that you need pins for your hell no. But even small things like pins for your welcome table. You know, you're gonna write down I need to get pins, and then you're gonna think you put pins in the box, but now you don't know if you did or not. So you're gonna take everything out and put everything back in. Um, so it's gonna be a it's gonna feel like a lot of organizing, finalizing that everything is where it needs to be so it can get to its correct location.
SPEAKER_05:Also, if you're bringing any boxes, label them. That was so helpful. Like as you put stuff in, you know, just put a piece of tape on the box and write down like label everything.
SPEAKER_02:I know I've seen those girls where they take pictures and I object to the person that like sets the table, takes a picture, puts everything that's gonna be in that box. It's so helpful though. Like I am that I saw that that's genius. And yeah, I've already like started to think about like what I want on the table, and I'm like, I know I still have what I'm like already, like what can I get both? And like now that like Black Friday's coming, I was like, oh, there's gonna be sales, and like what can I find? So yeah, I'm gonna definitely be that like crazy person with like details that I love, just details, like I love the way the table's set up, like right now. And like I just love that kind of stuff.
SPEAKER_01:So thank you, Grace, and I worked really hard today. I don't know.
SPEAKER_04:Kelsey picked out everything, she hated everything I picked. That is I said, you know what, you're shopping next time because you're better at the city.
SPEAKER_01:You picked out the tablecloth.
SPEAKER_04:I did pick out the tablecloth. I let you pick the tablecloth. And I ordered the uh Amazon Friendsgiving signs. Yes, that was my contribution.
SPEAKER_01:Grace wasn't allowed to do anything else.
SPEAKER_04:I wasn't allowed, I know. Because you've been, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:So um I wanted to impress our friends. I know.
SPEAKER_04:Honestly, I think we did a good job for our first Friendsgiving. I'm gonna give me Kelsey a little applause. And our producer gets a little of applause, too. He gets a little bit. Um, okay. Kelsey, are you up next? Um, no, it's you.
SPEAKER_01:Let's talk the tea.
SPEAKER_04:Let's talk the tea and any of the drama. Do you guys have any stories or like situations you've dealt with yet?
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Do you feel comfortable in sharing anything? If not, we can always just yeah. Here, let me get the mic over to you so that way we can hear you better. Thank you so much.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:So me and my me and my friend have already had this conversation because I was like, we need to nip it in the butt. Um, so one of my best friends, um, we have known each other since we were 15. Uh, she actually got engaged in July. And so uh she planned her wedding. Um, she scheduled a date and it's for or I'm sorry, October 9th. And so she has already booked her venue, things like that. And so I'm gonna be in her wedding, she's gonna be in my wedding, things like that.
SPEAKER_04:Um wait, so you said the ninth and you're getting married the 25th. Yes.
SPEAKER_02:Is that two weeks of her two weeks to the day? Oh, yes, and so I like the way I see it, she's not my maid of honor, I'm not her maid of honor, I'm not gonna be doing like expected to do the whole thing. She's not expected to do mine. Um, she's very much of an organizer too, so am I. Um, and so we got engaged, and like I said, I'm a planner and I started planning right away. Basically, my brain was like so excited. Um, and so yeah, that's when we were like, we decided we were gonna do September. Like it just works better for us. We were really just it came out of nowhere, like, why wait? It wasn't anything. And so when we told her, I like I text her and we have a really close friend together, and that friend is also gonna be in both of our weddings. Um, I text him, I was like, hey guys, like I think we're gonna be like looking for a September. There is availability showing, like it just works out for us, things like that. Um, and so long story short, um, we met up to go to pumpkin patch, and she was just like, Yeah, that just really stresses me out that you're having your wedding. Why don't you like pick a different like month?
SPEAKER_01:And so to me, that felt like you say I did. I picked September, you got October. That's a different month. Yeah. So look at that. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:And the thing is, like, I I get where she is coming from. Um, so I totally like understand the stress for her, but also again, we're not planning each other's weddings. And so there's two weeks difference. She had expressed that she felt like I was stepping on her toes and things like that. And so I basically was like, I text her because I also want to do a she had said that she wanted to do a bachelorette in September. And then um I had said, like, oh, I really want to do a bachelorette over Fourth of July, kind of thinking that because the theme I really want to do is like all American Bride. And so it was like very like patriotic, things like that, red, white, and blue. And Fourth of July falls on a Saturday. So I had mentioned it to another friend, another friend mentioned it to her. And then like that week, she texted us and was like, hey guys, I'm planning June 20 something to like, so the weekend before Fourth of July. So I was just like, I need to bring this up because this is just feeling like constantly, it's like very negative. So I texted her, I sent her a long text and I said, Hey, this is just on the top of my mind. I we just need to not like just get it out there. Um, and then she texts back, um, she expressed her feelings and things like that. She said it does stress her out. She didn't understand why we picked September, like why we're so convinced to do September. And like you guys said you were doing spring. And I said, no, like this is before we even engaged. We thought about doing spring. And then again, this is our marriage. This is when we want to do it. Um, and so we also didn't, our birthdays are both in January and doing spring, just like coming up, there was a lot that goes into it. We didn't want to do close to the holidays. And I was texting all that, and my fiance was like, you don't have to explain yourself. Like, just tell her like why we we chose this. It's nothing intentional, it's nothing mean, nothing like that.
SPEAKER_04:The world doesn't revolve around you.
SPEAKER_02:And the thing is, like, we've been best friends for so long that it was like really, really hard. And I felt like she wasn't happy for us. And so I did express to her that's like I did express to her that it seems like you want us to wait for our marriage to be after yours. And she said no. And we like I said, we met up. I said, we need to move in person. We both agreed. We met up, we talked. She said it is still stressing me out. Um, and I said, I get that, but like I don't want it to stress you out. Like, again, this is two weeks before yours, like leading up, and we agreed upon like when we do each have our events. That's about that person and only that person. Um, we said we will coordinate our days and like bridal showers and things like that. So it was just very, it was hard to take because like she had said, like, oh my gosh, we're gonna be in our engagement era together and like so excited. And then it was just like it felt very negative and like I told her this. I was like, it feels like if I do pick September, it's gonna be a dark cloud and there's gonna be resentment going forward. And so when we have a conversation, I think we just kind of like agreed. I think she's still a little upset, obviously, that I'm two weeks before. And I I mean, I get it. I'm we have to do what's best for us, and that's what we chose. Um, I still want her to be a part of everything, and I think that we've just come to the realization that it is what it is, kind of thing. Um yeah, I mean, we we had a meet, like the meetup we had went very like cordial, wasn't like us screaming at each other or anything like that, but it was not what I was expecting. Um, I got very emotional about it, she got very emotional about it. So I know that we each have our own kind of idea of uh of it, right? So yeah, that was very, very challenging.
SPEAKER_04:Wow. That gives me anxiety thinking about it. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:That's well, she's I she's gonna, I mean, I'm gonna be in her wedding, she's gonna be in my wedding. So um, I don't think it's gonna be anything negative, meaning, but I think for right now, but again, we still have a lot of time, a lot of time. And so, and I think why it doesn't stress me out too is because I am a planner. And so I'm like, it's not gonna be bad, like we're gonna be fine. Like, and she had mentioned, like, hey, the week before your wedding, like, I don't know if I'm gonna be able to help. And I said, that's fine. Like, like, I I don't think that like I am gonna be asking two people. So I'm gonna have a uh maid of honor and then a matron of honor. Um, one of them is gonna be my sister, and the other one is my best friend that I've known her since we were five. So, like they're already like all in. Yeah, my uh matron of honor. Um, like she has a lot going on in life, and she's like, I'm gonna make it work. Like things, things happen and we'll figure it out. So yeah, that was just a very big shock that I wasn't expecting. Yeah, like in the excitement of being engaged. So yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Did you get engaged before her or no?
SPEAKER_02:So she got engaged in July, the beginning of July. I got engaged last month. Um, so there was like a three month month, three month difference uh between us. And so she knew about my engagement, things like that. And so yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I think it's really good you had the conversation though, and you set some of those, you know, guidelines, boundaries as far as working together and the communication. And so if it does have issues in the future, you're able To circle back to this is kind of what we've agreed upon.
SPEAKER_02:And I'm hoping that it doesn't have to go to a conversation. No, not at all. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yes. So because I mean, I everybody doesn't like confrontation, especially with one of your best friends.
SPEAKER_04:And so weddings make it like Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:And so, like, I get it. It's very, it's stressful. She's gonna be her and her fiance are gonna be moving like a month or two before her wedding. So there she did mention like that's gonna add a lot of stress on top of everything else. And so I mean, all I can do is be there for her and be like, hey, if you are stressed, let me help you out. Like, let me figure out what you need, things like that.
SPEAKER_04:So that makes you a good friend. I love that. I love that. Any Bree or Carly? You have any?
SPEAKER_05:I just have a okay, beautiful. I love that. Also, one thing. Um, there's two times when you will see the best in people and the worst in people, and that is weddings and funerals. Like literally 1000%, you will figure out who your true friends are, like during this time. Like the people that are genuinely happy for you, and the people that are like, it sounds like she's getting caught up, she's making it a competition. Like I said, it's like it's not about the wedding. I know that like social media and everything has made it to where it's like everyone tries to outdo all these people. And I'm like, just make the wedding authentic to you two. Like, that's literally not what it's about. Like this day will end at the end of the day, it's just a day. So I'm sorry, you have to go through that. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Wise words with Carly. I know.
SPEAKER_05:I'm like, we were I was talking to one of our friends today, and he was like, Man, you sound so wise. It's about a new last name. And I'm like, oh yeah. Like I was always like this. So yeah. Feels like my frontal lobe developed again.
SPEAKER_04:I know I was telling them because obviously I was at your wedding and I was like, She is so funny, and that you just kept making like Spongebob references, and I was like, I literally love her.
SPEAKER_05:The first thing that came to my mind, I was like, oh brother, this guy stinks. Literally. I was dying. I was like, Yes, my fellow Spongebob. Yeah. Um, adding to the humor, my name is now Carly Davidson. So my name sounds like a motorcycle. Carly Davidson. So makes you a badass. Yeah, I was like, I feel like I have to get a motorcycle now. Now I have to do it. Or like a live up to it. This could apply.
SPEAKER_04:Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like, actually, I'm gonna make my name uh Harley instead. Yeah, that'd be crazy. Okay. Sorry. I was just trying to drink because I love me a glass of champagne.
SPEAKER_03:Okay, so it was what, tea?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, any drama or tea, or how's everything going? Or what do what do we want to share?
SPEAKER_03:Um, let's see how I can share this. We don't want you in trouble. I said I have never met his family um other than his son in nine years. And his one of his sisters has come at me sideways. And I'm not gonna repeat anything, but verbally said things she does not like me. Um and I'm like, why are we doing that? Like, it's our wedding, it's our day. And he's like, Well, you know, it's my sister, even though we didn't talk to her for many years after that. Um, she is coming. I have security it's that kind of situation. Smart. Um and I have lots of family that is not afraid to pull someone out in whatever way they need to, but um, she is coming, so I will sit on your back. I am very stressed about that part.
SPEAKER_04:Like, don't let her ruin your day though.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Just like focus on you. You know you have security, you have your family that's gonna back you up. Yes, he says everything will be fine.
SPEAKER_03:I will pull her out if I need to. I'm like, don't you can't ruin anything of yourself. We have other people, but oh yeah, oh yeah. We're very close. Yeah. I mean, I've talked to his mom, met his son, talked to his nephew.
SPEAKER_02:What are they like on the east? Yes, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Okay, Pennsylvania. Yeah, okay. So she is a lot different than you said.
SPEAKER_04:Right?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. It'll be good, I think.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, don't let it ruin your day. Let enjoy it. Don't let it.
SPEAKER_03:I was hoping that the letter, the invite might get lost in the mail. I haven't sent them out yet.
SPEAKER_04:You're like, actually, like threw that one in the trash. You're like, I don't know.
SPEAKER_03:That one didn't get stamped.
SPEAKER_04:You're like, that's so crazy.
SPEAKER_01:And honestly, like on the day, you only see everyone for like a split second.
SPEAKER_03:For two seconds, that's what, yeah, that's what I'm being told. So I'm like, okay, yeah, just look past her, through her.
SPEAKER_04:Especially if you have if you have 75 to 100, like it'll be like two minutes too, it'll be, and you'll be enjoying yourself. Yeah. So don't stress about it.
SPEAKER_03:So that's that's that.
SPEAKER_04:Ugh, got a little family dynamics during wedding, during wedding time.
SPEAKER_03:I'm not ruining my white my white dress though. Nope. Oh, for other people.
SPEAKER_04:I know, and I I'm not gonna expose what her dress looks like, but she showed me, and it's very beautiful. Nothing like what I know pick. Nothing, even me. I was like, what? I was like, okay.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. Was it like you tried on the first dress and you're like, this is the one? I tried on like seven total, was like, this is it. I cried, my mom cried, everyone. Again, nothing like, I'm not gonna describe anything, but nothing like what I thought. Literally, yeah, I know.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, it was the same way. I tried on one dress, I tried on my dress as a first one, and I was like, shit. I was like, we just got here. I was like, so I think I tried on like four or five, and then I was like, nope, like that first one, and then same thing, I put it on. Yep, went to one place, and I think if you go to too many, it just used too many options, and then it's like, wait, did I like this one? Did I like that one? I feel like it can get kind of stressful.
SPEAKER_05:So yeah, I went to four places over two days.
SPEAKER_04:Oh wow.
SPEAKER_05:I found my dress at spot three.
SPEAKER_04:Okay, okay.
SPEAKER_05:But it was like I also wasn't exactly sure what I wanted. Yeah. Like I kind of had an idea like what I liked, but I'm like, you know what? How many times am I gonna get to try wedding dresses? True. I want the full experience, I want to try everything. Yeah, but then by the last place, after we'd already found the dress, I was like, oh, I can't do this anymore.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, you're like, yeah, I gotta go. This is too much. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Um, when I got married in the courthouse and we paid for our witnesses because our family did not support us getting married. Um Wait, did you wear a t-shirt, right? No, well, I mean no. Let's take a story. Wait, was it though? Well, no, it wasn't a t-shirt, it was a blouse. Well, okay, that's what I meant. I sorry, a blouse it wasn't a dress.
SPEAKER_04:I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_01:Because we both worked in the restaurant. Um, he was a cook and I was a bartender and we got off work and we knew that the we knew at if we got to the courthouse at 4 30, we'd be able to get into like get married because 4 30 is when you show up at the courthouse. So we had just enough time to get married and to go then pick up the kids because we're a blended family. Um, and so I changed my shirt and so I had on my work jeans and my non-slip black like stop, like uh rest for improved shoes.
SPEAKER_04:John's shoes would be like, oof.
SPEAKER_01:I know. So yeah, I know.
SPEAKER_04:I keep telling her I want her to do a redo. I want her to get married, and she's not a big one.
SPEAKER_01:I wore um pictures. That's all I knew about the blouse. But here's the thing because I saw the one picture. I liked it and I still like it. It's a white t-shirt or it's a white shirt and it like cuts off here and here, and it kind of like scoops down and it's lacy.
SPEAKER_04:So millennial.
SPEAKER_01:And then there's like a piece of like silk string that like wraps around here and ties on the back. Oh my god, yes. Well, we were married in 2012. So you are right on. Um, I thought it was it was white. I thought it was pretty about five years into our marriage. My husband goes, Oh my god, I hate that shirt. That shirt is the worst shirt ever.
SPEAKER_04:Tomas is like, I'm gonna need you to burn that.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I don't own it anymore. But I was like, it's the closest thing I could come to a wedding dress in 15 minutes.
SPEAKER_05:Please tell me he wore one of those t-shirts that looks like a tuxedo.
SPEAKER_01:That would have been so funny. No, it's actually, oh I hope he didn't. I forget what the picture looks like. He wore this uh god awful, ugly blue, like screwing the same thing, button-up shirt, and it was like so big and baggy, and like think like gangster baggy, baggy mob. I look back at those photos and I was like, So I'm really, really glad that yours have the great personality because that was not a look.
SPEAKER_04:So that was not it for one second.
SPEAKER_01:No, we both looked terrible. It's okay.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, you guys agree. So it's like, but I keep trying to get her. I'm like, have like a a wedding, but she's not about it. Like a power renewal. Exactly, and she won't do it. Nope. I'll plan it.
unknown:I don't blame you.
SPEAKER_04:I I know it's a lie.
SPEAKER_01:I do everybody else's wedding. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_03:You do that attire. Did your husband like your dress or was it in like the idea he had?
SPEAKER_04:Oh, good question, actually. Here she's about to have a mic drop.
SPEAKER_05:I'm just kidding. Okay, so my dress, I'll have to show you guys photos, no lace. And going into it, I was like, I don't think I'm a lace girl, but like we'll try it. And then I kind of had some stuff saved on Pinterest that had really flowy sleeves. I'm like, okay, that's fun. No lace. And then I ended up uh with a seamstress, uh creatable lady on Instagram, if anyone's looking for a seamstress opinion. Um she custom made like flowy sleeves, but then it came and it had a cuff with buttons. So like it didn't look the buttons. You're just as beautiful, sorry. Like I know everyone. Um and so like it wasn't, it's not like trendy, but I like don't I'm not about like trends. But I would ask him, I've probably asked him 12,000 times. Like we went dress shopping, I'm like, so what do you think it looks like? He's like, I don't know. Yeah, and literally doesn't care. Well, like, do you think it has lace? He's like, Yeah, probably. But then it's like all the then I would show him photos online. I'm like, do you think it looks like this? None of them look like my dress. And then he's like, Stop asking me. And I was like, Well, I want to know. And then he's like, it definitely doesn't have sleeves. I'm like, ooh. Oh, but then once he saw it, he was like, Yeah, that is actually like what I pictured you having. Like, he's like, That's perfect. I love you gaslighting him.
SPEAKER_00:I was like, Does it look like this?
SPEAKER_05:Yeah, I'm like, Do you think it's like low cut? He's like, I don't know. He's like, no. I'm like lace, he's like, maybe. It was so fun, but it drove him insane. I love that.
SPEAKER_03:Brian is trying to guess like every day.
unknown:I finally told him it's gonna be hot pink.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, okay.
SPEAKER_03:That's all you need to know.
SPEAKER_04:You're like, it's gonna be um bright fuchsia and it's gonna have diamonds and pearls all over it. No, just kidding.
SPEAKER_01:I love that.
SPEAKER_04:Yep.
SPEAKER_01:Um, do you want to close us out? Do we have to do that? Oh, I do, yeah. Or you, yeah, or yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Do you guys have any questions for Kelsey and I? Or do we have anything?
SPEAKER_03:I want to hear the stories, like the what were we talking about? The wedding horror stories. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Oh yeah, that's right. We were chatting a little bit. Groomzella.
SPEAKER_01:I know.
SPEAKER_04:Honestly, I got a little sweaty too.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, go turn the air conditioner up. I know. Um, I think, and this is so sad, but it was I had this couple, and they she was so manipulating and so mean to the groom. Um, and she just ripped into him every every move we would make, every direction. Nothing went according to, like, we I built her a timeline. We worked together on her timeline wedding day. She made these fans and it had different times than what the original timeline had on it. And she's like, Well, we're gonna have to go off the fans.
SPEAKER_04:And I was like, Well, she's like, So tell the people to arrive what time the fan says.
SPEAKER_01:And well, and I was like, um, sunset is not the time on the fans. And I guess she like found these this fan template on like Pinterest and like screenshot it and and just yeah, printed it like that. There are no edits to it. Oh, it was awful. But um the worst part was she we, I mean, the wedding turned out pretty, but she was a monster to the groom, and then she got all of her bridesmaids to like hate me. Oh god, and it was like everything not the sphere campaign. No, it was I felt like I was being bullied the entire day.
SPEAKER_04:Kelsey's like crying in the bathroom.
SPEAKER_01:Well, I was so thrown off because they were calling me names in a different language. Oh and so like at first I thought it was my nickname, and then I found out what it meant, and I was like, oh, okay. So it was like honestly, it was one of the first weddings that I did. It was like in like my first like five or ten weddings, and I was still together. Um, good question. I I she's like, I hope not. I was kidding. I don't I have no idea. I have no idea because I am not putting energy into that smart. Yeah, you know.
SPEAKER_05:What's her name? Tell us when the camera's coming.
SPEAKER_04:We'll go stalk her. All three of us will try to find Facebook, Instagram, yes, TikTok, all of those. TikTok, all those.
SPEAKER_01:But yeah, that was probably my worst. Like I've it's gonna sound crazy, but I there's on wedding days, I never feel like um like nothing shocks me. I feel like we see it all, and then as soon as I say it, I show up on another weekend and I'm like, ah, look at that. You said there's that happens. Yeah, it's going on my list. Sometimes it's funny things, sometimes it's fun things, sometimes it's bad things, but I know it's always an adventure. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05:Can you guys tell if a couple's gonna stay together? Like, you know, it's like, oh or like, oh yeah, they're a good pet.
SPEAKER_01:I usually can by like the first meeting, like the for my first interactions with them, those initial interactions, and it's how they communicate and like respect one another.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And I can like totally be like, run. And sometimes it's not, it's not the brides, or not, sometimes it's not the groom, sometimes it's the brides too. Yeah. Like, this is toxic.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, definitely been to a few where I'm just like, this is not gonna end well. Or like grooms drunk at the ceremony, and I'm just like, this is so awkward. Like, we have the couples that always drink, and you're like, how?
SPEAKER_03:How can you do it in private?
SPEAKER_01:Literally, yeah, you'll appreciate that. I did have a bride once get so drunk during while she was getting ready. I went in to have her come out to line up for ceremony, and she was passed out on the floor. Oh, and I was like, Hey, yes, I gave the fifth, I gave the game. I gave the 15-minute cue to go pee and fix your lipstick. And I don't know what happened in that was 15 minutes, and because the bridesmaids were like, Oh, yeah, no, she's in there, just give her a second. So I was giving the bride privacy. And so how to go like delay with DJ, how to go notify groom that we just needed a few more minutes. We wanted to finalize, make sure dress was exactly how the dress needed to be. Um, I was not gonna tell him that his bride was passed out drunk. Um, got crackers and a liquid IV, and I was like, I need you to sit up and I need you to eat this and sober up because I don't know what else to do. So we started like liquid IV.
unknown:You've had that on.
SPEAKER_04:My gosh.
SPEAKER_01:Yes, I had a liquid, yes, that's in the that's in the kit. That's in the kitchen, it's in the emergency kit. It's in the kit. It's in the kit. She made it down the aisle, and they the ceremony lasted like two minutes because that's crazy.
SPEAKER_04:That was once really sad. That's sad.
SPEAKER_01:It's I was so all the money.
SPEAKER_04:I told my husband that I was like, you can get drunk at the reception. I said, if you if I even smell alcohol on you, I'm like, it's not gonna end well. And so we both like agreed, like we both had like one drink in the morning and we're like, enjoy getting ready. You have the pictures, and then we're like, once it stands four time, drink as much as you want. I don't care. Correct. Because we're not spending$30,000 and you don't even remember what happened. Correct. Not happening. I have a question. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:What is the coolest or most unique vibe of a wedding?
SPEAKER_04:Are you saying like decor or like thing we've seen?
SPEAKER_03:Like, yeah.
SPEAKER_04:I'm trying to think.
SPEAKER_03:Um, honestly, like with our different cool, but like different.
SPEAKER_04:I mean, honestly, your wedding you just had, and that I did too. I mean, Dominique and Tyler's was like gorgeous.
SPEAKER_01:Theirs was so pretty.
SPEAKER_04:It was like all like elegant and they had drapery around the whole entire reception area. Yeah. And it was just that was Kelsey's doing. She helps plant, she was their planner, but yeah, that's really pretty. I mean, I've seen like coffee bars, a lote bar, like a lote late night snacks.
SPEAKER_01:Um characterists. Oh, yeah, caricature artists.
SPEAKER_04:Those ones are so fun. I love those kind of favorites, like those are people's like favors for the wedding, even though I'm anti-favorite. I was like, that's actually a cool one.
SPEAKER_03:Anti-favor. We're doing scratcher tickets.
SPEAKER_04:Oh, cool. I love that. I love that. When I were like, wait, what if we win? What's going on? Yeah, I'm trying to think if I've I mean, I've definitely seen some I don't care for, but there's some that are still in 2012, but like decorations.
SPEAKER_01:What's one final trend that you wish would die? Pompous?
SPEAKER_04:Pomp. Thank you. Yep. Pompous. Pompous. Sorry if anyone is. Pompous just needs to go.
SPEAKER_05:It's like the fluffy, like, and it sheds weed or most.
SPEAKER_01:It sheds me aware. And no, and it catches on fire easily. How far away it is. Is it from Western E?
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Boho.
SPEAKER_03:Boho, that's what I'm thinking. Okay.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, Pompous got has got to go. We've we've talked about this on the podcast, and everyone knows our strong feelings against it. Okay. Yeah. So this is a safety. So sorry if either of you have pompous.
SPEAKER_01:Pompous slander, sorry. I was like, wow.
SPEAKER_02:Well, there's like the fake pompass that you can get from Hobby Lobby that doesn't shed. There's like I thought in a house is like a in a pot with a different thing. No, yeah. It doesn't like go everywhere. There's like when I because when I did like parties and stuff, like there was people that wanted these pompous leaves, and I had to put them in trash bags and like tie them super tight because if you don't, it's everywhere. Literally. Like wind blows, there's it's yeah.
SPEAKER_01:They're so messy. And again, they are like they want to die because they look for flames. It doesn't need to die to try and die. We've had so much pompous light on fire, like it doesn't even.
SPEAKER_04:People want to do the pompous on the tables and then have candles all around them. And it's just like it's literally a fire hazard.
SPEAKER_05:Like my maid of honor gets married in January. And she knows how I feel about pompous. If you're watching, I love it. We love you. But please know. No, she knows. She's like, I just want to live my basic girl dreams. That's fine. But I will be telling her, hey, don't do your open plane.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, because it'll all the LED candles have to be.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, or they need to be like the fake ones because it will catch on fire. And then especially if it's windy, if it's outdoor venue, it's not gonna end well.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Pompous. Do you have any other ones that trends you want to die?
SPEAKER_04:I don't think so. I mean, I I'm really over the teal, like the 2012 teal. Please let it die back there. I don't know why.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_05:And Chevron's coming back, and I'm like, I know. Hollister's selling baby doll tops again. No. Like Hollister, if you walk into a Hollister, it's low rise 2010.
SPEAKER_04:The low rise dreams need to just stay away forever. I don't need those. I don't. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Those have to die. Please, no one lowered jeans just now. So those are my trends. Can you think of any others that you want to die? Um I can't think of anything specific, but those ones.
SPEAKER_01:I'm trying to think. I'm a hit or miss on late night bites. I love late night bites if your venue goes late.
SPEAKER_04:So true.
SPEAKER_01:Um, but if you're eating and you're done two and a half hours later, late night bites never get eaten. I throw away so much late night bites.
SPEAKER_04:Well, it's like depending how close your venue is to whatever you get, like it just tastes bad by the time it gets there.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Like if it's like a churro bar or something. Like if it's like dessert, then like of course.
SPEAKER_01:But but even um the one, the big one I think of, and this probably gives me the ick was when In N Out had In N Out for a late night bite. It was so cute for photos and pictures and videos. For sure. But the French fries were cold, the burgers were soggy. I bet I if I went through rocks, I guarantee you I could probably still find a French fry. Because they just blew and were cold.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, I only eat in-and-out burger if I eat in the car or there. Yeah. It's like the rule. I'm like, it has to be, it's my favorite fast food, but it has to be eaten fresh. It just has to.
SPEAKER_03:That's the only fast food. That's all now. Chick-fil-A. Yeah, Chick-fil-A. Yeah. Chick-fil-A.
SPEAKER_01:Does anybody else else have any questions? Yeah.
SPEAKER_05:Because I was like, that was something I was like, ooh, should we have something? And I'm like, no, we get done at 10. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:People will be fine. You're like, it's really not that late. Yeah. And plus everyone's like, I feel like, especially if the vibe on the dance floor is like so good, like it's like you don't really want to step away to like go eat something. You just want to drink and like dance and party. So I feel like maybe it depends on the vibe of like your crowd if you should do it or not, too.
SPEAKER_02:So I guess the only advice I would kind of look into that we're running into right now is a photographer and videographer. Well, so I have something I'm like, I love them. A producer. I know them, I used to work with them, and I think that's why I built this, and I love them. Um and so I got the pricing, and my fiance was like, no. And I was like, but that's kind of average. Like, no, there's no way. And it was last night the night before, and he was looking and he was like, Well, we we can um we can find somebody like else. And I'm like, I told you, like, that's the like the average that's going right now. So he was like, Well, do we really need because I was like, I want at least eight hours. Um and he's like, Well, they'll they'll do the one that he found. And I was like, we need to look at their like profile, see what they're because like I don't want like a super orange like photographer or whatever. Like, I don't like that. He, when we got um engaged, he hired a photographer. We were in Colorado. Um, he hired a photographer and it was great to have at the time. However, I don't like the way he edited pictures, it was awful. And he edited one of like my nose at one point. I look like I have a Shrek nose. And he won't give us the raw pictures. I like the raw pictures better than his edited pictures, and he won't give us those raw pictures unless we pay for them. And so I'm like, it takes like a photographer and a videographer very it's a unique skill.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:And so right now he's like, well, if we do this, we're spending 10,000. I was like, whoa, where did you get 10,000? Like, first of all, like you can figure it out, but that's where I'm like kind of fighting him right now. With I would like a photographer there for like getting ready. And then we don't have to have it the last hour. I don't need a big grand exit, things like that. But I do want it. So I was like, oh, at least eight hours. And he's like, Well, our whole thing is only gonna be six. And I was like, I know, but like getting ready, and he's like, Well, why do you like we have our cell phones, like we can just do that? And I'm like, no, and so I'm like trying to like not have an argument with him, but I'm also like, This is and he's like, Well, we're gonna go over a budget if we don't do this, and we're gonna like he's like throwing out, he's like, We're gonna have like a$50,000 wedding. I was like, Where are you going over like$20,000 all of a sudden? Where are you getting these numbers? I was like, I don't know what you're talking about. So that's where I'm like kind of debating right now. Like, what do you do? Like, do you spend that big chunk on like somebody you know is going to be amazing? Or do I take like the like I'm trying to let him help plan, but do I like let him don't listen to him?
SPEAKER_01:No, no, that's your memory.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_05:Literally, it's your day, he's just a guest. Um it's all about the bride. Thank you very much. Yeah, and uh I would ask Ryan, you know, I'm like, hey, thoughts? He's like, great. I'm like, perfect. This was a courtesy ask. Um so the thing with photographers and videographers, if you are on the fence on whether or not you want a videographer, and I learned this from my videographer, if you're on the fence, get one. Just because they capture everything about the day. Like, we've only gotten like a quick little 30-second clip, but we will get all the raw footage. We'll get the finished video. And I think I personally think it's worth the investment because then you can relive the day because it goes by so fast that you're like, Whew, I don't like, don't even remember half of it. Um, but it's like these are photos that you're gonna have forever. So make sure it's someone you like, not only their editing style, but someone that you like personally. I have a great photographer and videographer I can recommend to you if you want. But um, but no, I think I it is worth the investment 100%.
SPEAKER_02:Like I know it is, and like I'm just trying to not have this like argument kind of thing because again, I I do want him to want him to be in some of the fun. But I'm like, because I told him I was like, oh I like I had the conversation with him because he was at work and all that kind of stuff. Um, and like I said, I've known them for years, they've like done a couple of my friends' weddings, but they've gotten bigger and bigger throughout the years. Yeah, so like I know their work and they're so amazing. And so I want to use them. And when I told him their pricing, he was like, Oh my god. And then my sister got on his like my fiance side and was like, that's so expensive. And then my brother-in-law is a financial guy, so he's like, Oh yeah, and I'm like, all three of you are getting right now and remake or mis memory, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:$2,000 more or$3,000, whatever.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, but it's I mean, like at this point, I'm like, I will sell feet picks and get our feet. Exactly. Exactly.
SPEAKER_04:Literally, I mean, I'm a hundred percent on Carly's side as well, and we've talked about this on the podcast. And um, when I got married, I got I had a video a videographer too. And I remember my mom was like, I don't know why you're spending this money, like da-da-da. And then we got the video back, and she's like, I can't believe I even said like to not get it because the day does go by so quick, and obviously the photographer is gonna get you know a lot of stuff too. But this is literally like in-person, like video, you're seeing your day. Like, I like joke and I say, Oh, I literally blacked out, like I was blacked out, but not actually, yeah, but it's like you when you're walking down the aisle and you're like, oh my god, this is actually happening. It's like you're there. So to have like that on video and like those memories, I just don't think like you can replace that. So I say, sorry, I'm sorry, what's your fiance's name? Dylan. Sorry, Dylan, you don't get a say. Um, we're getting the videographer, and definitely to like interview your vendors, like do phone calls, FaceTimes, whatever, because you're with these people all day. You want to make sure you like their editing style, you want to make sure you mesh with them because they're gonna be there all day.
SPEAKER_02:So yeah, and well, like that's the thing is like I've known them and I already know. Exactly. You know that, so it's even better. I love I love their pictures. Like, he's done like I for my 30th birthday, I gave myself a like a photo shoot. Um so they did that, and I was just like, I love his stuff.
SPEAKER_04:So that's awesome. Now I'm just like you have to have to convince him, or sometimes, like, even if like he does feel like it's out of the budget, like go back to your budget. Where can we maybe cut other stuff, or like maybe if this is really important to you, be like, hey, like we really don't need this, or we don't need to spend money on that, and then you can be at a happy medium together.
SPEAKER_05:And like one thing my videographer told me, like, besides your husband, besides your husband, your photographer and videographer are the people that you're gonna spend the most time with on your day. Literally, so yeah, it was so important. Like, I had looked at a couple videographers, and like pricing-wise, I was like, I have no idea what they cost, and then I saw someone was like, uh, but I was like, I knew what I wanted, I wanted something fun, and like after meeting with him, we did a Zoom call. I was like, Oh yeah, he's a girl that gets it. I know. So he said he just knows, yeah.
SPEAKER_04:So invest in it. It's one day. So I say yes.
SPEAKER_01:I say yes.
SPEAKER_04:Okay, any other questions or anything?
SPEAKER_01:Tribe has spoken. I know, I'm sorry, sorry, Dylan.
SPEAKER_04:We're the girls, girls. We're gonna be on the girls' side. I'm so sorry, Dylan. Be getting a videographer. Okay, any other questions or anything before we wrap up? Feel like we're all good. Did everyone enjoy the food? That was so good. So good. Okay, perfect. Well, thank you guys so much for being on our first ever Friends Giving episode. Thank you. This was literally so much fun.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:I know.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, look at us, Grace. I know we have friends! We have friends. I love this. Um, shout out to Catering by Secora for providing this delicious meal for us tonight. So yummy. Um, they are owned by Bobby Hughes, located in Phoenix. So if you were looking for a delicious cater, be sure to check them out. Otherwise, we will see you on Instagram, TikTok, and be sure to check out our latest episode. Bye.