Wedding Hive Podcast
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Wedding Hive Podcast
034- Frequently Asked Wedding Questions Answered!
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Hey queens. Welcome to today's episode of the Wedding Hive podcast. Today, Grace and I are going to be talking about frequently asked questions. And then we are also going to be discussing some of the hidden logistics behind a seamless wedding days. Wedding days. Wedding day. Wedding day. But sometimes it feels like days.
SPEAKER_01:Literally planning forever. So, Grace, do you want to kick us off? Yes, I will. So, um, a very, very frequently asked question, of course, is how do I start planning a wedding? Kelsey, tell us. What do we do? Where do we start?
SPEAKER_00:Well, we start off by celebrating that we are officially engaged. The best part. Yes, because then it goes into the logistics, which is our favorite word, the budget.
SPEAKER_01:Yes.
SPEAKER_00:Um, your guest list, start making that um guest list, and then start looking at venues, picking out kind of what that your aesthetic is, if you're wanting to do local destination. Um, but definitely start having those budget conversations, who will be participating in making those payments, um, how you guys would like to budget out your wedding, and then getting on that guest list because the budget and the guest list really do go hand in hand.
SPEAKER_01:Mm-hmm. They really do. Because depending on how many people you have on your guest list can also be how big your budget is, too. Correct.
SPEAKER_00:Or the opposite. You got to cut back on the guest list to make way for that budget.
SPEAKER_01:I totally agree.
SPEAKER_00:So, Grace, how far in advance should someone start wedding planning? Is three months enough time?
SPEAKER_01:Um, I personally would not plan my wedding in three months. That sounds insanely stressful. Um, I know a lot of people wonder if like you can get it done in a like shorter timeline. I mean, it's possible. If you're doing a backyard wedding, I think you can get it done if you have a small guest count, 100%. Um, I would me personally, I almost plan my wedding for two years. And I've talked about this before, being very happy we did that when it came to budgeting and making payments for things. So, I mean, I would say 18 months to a year is enough time. But if you want to do three months, Godspeed to you. I think I would lose my mind if I planned it that quick.
SPEAKER_00:So I think that there have been some very successful weddings planned in three to six months. Um, things to consider is your wedding dress. You will have to purchase it off the rack and go straight into alterations because of the delivery time for dresses to get in. You don't have that time. Um, the other thing that you don't have is um time to continue feeding your money bucket per se, because everything does need to be paid for um prior to wedding day typically with vendors. So unless you're putting it on credit cards um or taking out a personal loan, you have to make sure that you have all of the funds up front to be prepared to pay for a wedding in under for three to six months.
SPEAKER_01:That money stressor is like that. Um, okay, so we'll move on to the next one. Kelsey, should we hire a wedding planner or plan it ourselves?
SPEAKER_00:Ooh. You know, you would think I'm so biased and would say you have to hire a planner, but I do not believe that. Um, you know yourself best when it comes to uh your personality type and the amount of time you have. It does take a lot of time, focus, and energy to plan a wedding. Um, if you are choosing to plan it yourself, then great. You know, it's your day. I would say at least a day of coordinator would be necessary because you do not want to be handling all the logistics on wedding day. You want somebody else to be, you know, going with your game plan for the day. I do think there is benefits when it comes to hiring planners. They've worked with many vendors. Um, they know kind of how to easily match your desires and even personalities. They can help with different pieces like that. But no, I think you can plan a wedding on your own. Just make sure that there is somebody there designated on the day that is not a family member. It is not your mom's job to make sure that catering shows up or to fix, you know, the what seems like minor things as a planner and coordinator sometimes feel like major things for family members, and that shouldn't be their task for the day.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, no, I agree. I think, you know, family members should also get to enjoy the day, you know, especially the moms and dads and siblings. So um, I agree. Obviously, I plan my wedding on my own. Sometimes do I wish I had a planner 100%, but it is doable. Um, but just like you said, I think if anything, just making sure you have a day of coordinator to make sure the day goes smoothly. You don't have to worry your friend's family can enjoy the whole day.
SPEAKER_00:So yes. Um, all right, Grace, I have a question for you. Yes. How much will the wedding cost? Or what is a reasonable budget? And then the final piece is how can we save money?
SPEAKER_01:Ooh, this is a good one. Um, well, with how much will the wedding cost? I mean, obviously the prices of weddings have gone up exponentially. Um, I'll be transparent. Our wedding was around 30,000 after everything was said and done. Um, I felt comfortable with that because we had help from parents and um it felt doable as to what's a reasonable budget. I mean, that's up to you. I couldn't imagine spending more than that. Um, of course, your wedding day is very special, but it is just a day. So um spending upwards to, you know, 50 plus is always crazy to me. I mean, of course, if I had the money, I would love to have spent, you know, a hundred thousand dollars on my wedding. But um, I think, yeah, just be true to yourself. And we've talked about it a bunch of times. You know, social media has made it hard to compare yourself or um at least me and where I'm at in my stage in my life. I've been to a lot of other friends' weddings. So sometimes it's hard to see other weddings and be like, oh, I should have done that, or oh, it needs to be this fancy. But I think just making sure your budget um doesn't consume you and it shouldn't be, it should be fun, but um just be mindful of how much you really want to spend.
SPEAKER_00:Yep, I agree. Um, right now the national average is$33,000 for around, I believe it was around a hundred-person guest count. Yeah. Um, but you I mean, you hit all of those.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. And I mean, how how you can save money is, you know, I guess whatever you feel like you shouldn't be spending money on, or um, in the beginning, making a very conscious decision of what's most important and what you really need or what you don't need to have. Um, I mean, sometimes it just comes down to the end of the wire. And we've talked about it too. You know, sometimes it's like, oh, a thousand dollars is just a thousand dollars. Um, so just stick to your, your, your gun, stick to what's gonna make you feel comfortable. Um, I would hate for someone to spend way more money and then regret it later because you feel like you need to impress family or friends, just make sure it's authentic to you and what you feel comfortable with.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I think you're you're right on with the picking your essentials and non-essentials. So, what's essential to your wedding day and what things do you want there, and then what things are non-essential? And so you can skip on them and still have your dream wedding.
SPEAKER_01:Yep, I totally agree. Make like a a yes, no, maybe list in the beginning of what is extremely important, not so much, and what maybe you can just skip on. So, um, Kelsey, our next question: how do we choose a venue? Talk to us.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, yes. So guess count um will go into play when it comes to venue. The uh time of year that you're wanting to get married goes into choosing your venue. Obviously, here in Arizona, November, December, beautiful months to get married. Yeah, um, because the weather is amazing. Uh, the Midwest is getting plowed with snow right now. So you probably don't want to get have an outdoor wedding in the Midwest in December. Freeze your butts off. Exactly. So you're gonna want to start by looking at where, what region do you want to get married, um, as well as the um time of year? What when are you wanting to get married? And then narrow down what do you want the aesthetic of the venue to look like? Are you wanting a beach wedding? Are you wanting a, you know, a mountain backdrop? Do you want to get married in a golf course or in a really high-end resort? Are you wanting to do um, you know, a traditional church and like reception hall feel? It is completely your call when it comes to choosing your venue, but just kind of having that vision board, maybe getting on Pinterest, kind of putting in some of those keywords of what you're looking for to start to put together what makes sense for your special day when it comes to choosing your venue.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. I also feel too everyone's different, but I feel like the venue is almost like the wedding dress shopping. Don't look at too many venues. Cause I feel like they just start to blend and then it's like, wait, did I like this? Did I like that? I went to our venue and I was like, we're not looking anywhere else. And it was just perfect. And, you know, of course, venture out and see if you know, maybe see two or three, and I would just say call it a day after that.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I agree. I think that um yeah, I on average, I feel like couples are looking between like four and six venues, which I think is totally fine, especially for our area where we're located. Um, there's so many options. But when couples tell me they're looking at 12 plus venues, I that just sounds very overwhelming to me. And how can you make a decision when you've looked at 12 to 17 venues? Literally. And what are you looking for that you're not finding when you've looked at that many?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I think that's a beginning, not problem, but just like we talked about like, you know, are you wanting indoor, outdoor, are you wanting golf courts? Like narrow down the niche of like what you're kind of thinking. Don't go, oh, let's go look at an outdoor, let's go look up north, let's go look at a golf course, let's go look at a hotel. Then you're gonna be like, holy guacamole. Correct. Too many options. I would not suggest that at all.
SPEAKER_00:Yes. Um, all right, Grace. This one, um, specific to your wedding. Okay. What was some wedding must-haves or essentials that you planned for?
SPEAKER_01:Hmm, that's a good one. Um, well, obviously, I had a small guess count. Um, I think when it came to essentials, was um personally, and we've talked about this a lot, um, the open bar, making sure um we had all that going. Um, I really loved that we did a photo booth because our photographer left at a certain point. And so it was kind of nice to still have essentially professional photos still that like we could still have memories throughout the night. Um, what else? I was like a very chill bride. So I'm definitely glad we did like a wooden welcome sign. So, like, I guess that kind of stuff was really important to me. Like memorabilia memorabilia, I guess. It sounds like weird, but yeah, um, those kind of essential things. Some things I wish we didn't spend on money was we did like the acrylic table numbers, they're purple, probably never gonna get a use out of them. Um, so yeah, if you can try and find those kind of things or like Facebook Marketplace, I don't know. Some of those things just like aren't essential. And um, like I did all my centerpieces from Sam's Club Flowers because I was like, they're just gonna die. So those that I'd say were a few different things that I felt were essential and like not. Okay. You know, that's just my little two cents. Um, okay, is a small wedding okay? How do you make a smaller wedding special, Kelsey? What are your what's your opinion on that?
SPEAKER_00:Ooh, I think small weddings can be so special. I also think that there is this um oh I don't even know what the word is for it, but there is this lie. There's a myth that a smaller wedding means that it is cheaper. That is not always the case. I have some scene seen some very, very expensive tiny weddings. Yeah. Um, so some things you can do to make a smaller wedding special is um be very intentional with the touch points. Um, have past champagne as guests arrive or um personalized either cards or um nameplates at their seats. You can you can do so much more interactive stuff um or personalized stuff. Um I had one wedding where they had a uh jewelry artist, a permanent jewelry artist come in for cocktail hour. And they did permanent jewelry during cocktail hour, um, or even the characterist artist um or like cartoon artist um would come in as like guest favors. You can do a lot of really intentional things that's small weddings can be so fun because you get to spend quality time with those closest to you and and still have a great, great party.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, no, I totally agree. That was like the other day at um one of the weddings, they had an engraver there and they did custom cups and um like rocks glasses and wine glasses. And I thought that was such a cute idea. Yes, that's we know my hatred for favors, but I was like, you know what, that's actually really cute.
SPEAKER_00:Love it. Um, Grace, when should a couple send their invitation or save the dates?
SPEAKER_01:Um, me personally, I sent my save the dates a year in advance and then the invitations six months before. Um, I think that's plenty of time. Obviously, we've talked about it before. You know, if it's like a destination wedding, probably maybe a little bit sooner so people can make accommodations and things like that. But I mean, I think that's a year in advance is plenty of time for people to get their arrangements, you know, make sure they can come, whether they're out of town, you know, get babysitters, all that good stuff. So I think that's that's plenty of time.
SPEAKER_00:So I agree. Six to eight months uh for like destination wedding invitations need to go out about eight months out. And then local weddings are like five to six months.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. So I think that's plenty of time.
SPEAKER_00:So all right. We are going to switch gears now and go into the hidden logistics behind a seamless wedding day. So last uh episode, Logan, we interviewed Logan and it was so funny because she made a comment that she couldn't find her planner or her planner um or her planner's team on wedding day because they were working. Yeah. In a pause. We're doing all of the things. So this segment of the episode, we're gonna talk about all of the things that couples don't see on wedding day. Um, so I will I'll start us off with the pre-arrival. Perfect. So what happens early on wedding day is your um vendor team shows up. So we will just talk through this from like a planner coordinator side. So typically showing up at the venue, I show up two to three hours prior to the couple. It is a mix of when will the venue allow somebody in? Um, like allow your vendor team in. Most venues are amazing, and they say what time do you need to arrive to get everything done successfully? I don't think, I don't think I've ever had a venue not allow me in. I think I had one venue that allowed I was planning on being there at like 9:30, and they said 10 was the earliest, which was totally fine. Um, because I had a long commute to that venue, and so I probably would have been there at 10.
SPEAKER_01:You're like, honestly, I can stop and get a Starbucks now, it's fine.
SPEAKER_00:Exactly. So um what happens before the couple even uh pulls up? So vendors get checked in. Um we do all of our load-in logistics, make sure that weather plans are in place, if that is assessing uh new weather changes or just making sure that everything is still looking great, um, timeline adjustments. And this matters to couples because we want to make sure that everything is happening in advance and things are moving the way that it needs to before the couple arrives on site. So it's a lot of checklists, it's a lot of phone calls, it's making sure that everybody is where they need to be with what they need. One of the things I would like to consider myself a professional counter in the sense of if rentals get delivered and I need 103 items um for a play setting, I am counting or I'm assigning somebody to count all of the forks, knives, spoons, plates, water goblets, all of those things. So when that rental company exits the property, I know I have everything. And if there's something I'm missing, then they know they need to go back and grab my three missing spoons.
SPEAKER_01:Exactly.
SPEAKER_00:Um, so there's a lot of pieces behind the scenes to make sure that everything is moving in the direction it needs to.
SPEAKER_01:Mm-hmm. I've you know, try to make sure the couple has a seamless wedding day, that nothing goes awry. Or if there is, that's why you guys are there. Um, a big thing too is um like coordinating with the vendors. Um, some weddings there's not a lot of outside vendors. Sometimes there is, so that's what um you guys don't see before you arrive. Um, things like um if catering, if dinner time's at, you know, 5 45 and they're like, hey, we need like five, 10 more minutes, the coordinator is gonna be there, essentially stalling, but you know, trying to make sure that you guys have no idea that catering's five minutes behind. Um, if a DJ arrives late, you know, shifting ceremony timelines, um, making sure that video and lighting uh requests don't conflict with the decor setup as well. Um, but yeah, there's a lot of things that um you guys don't see behind before you arrive on a wedding day.
SPEAKER_00:Yes. And I would even just going on to that, like if catering needs an extra 20 minutes, it's not, it doesn't just affect catering, it affects the timeline that also interferes with the DJ. And sometimes it will also interfere with the bar because the bar knows at a certain time they need to start pouring champagne for champagne toasts. And so it's a mix of con communicating and contacting three to four different vendors before the couple is even notified. Hey, we're gonna we're gonna be a few minutes, or let's make some adjustments and maybe do some toasts before dinner versus after dinner. Yeah, try to change this time.
SPEAKER_01:Uh that way you still get to do everything, but mixing around, or you know, that was like the other day. I think one of the photographers, their flashlight wasn't working, so they had to run into the house to grab a different one. So then it's kind of like the DJ entertaining the crowd, and that way, you know, making sure everything is going seamlessly and it seems like there's no bumps. Like this is how it's supposed to go. So they're really there to just make it go perfect.
SPEAKER_00:Yes.
SPEAKER_01:Or as perfect as you can.
SPEAKER_00:Yes. Um, part of being behind the scenes on weddings is doing crisis control in real time. Um, some of the fixes include um maybe a oh man, Logan just we were just talking about this last week. Um, her dress, like the the bustle or what the bustle of the dress. Yeah. Sometimes bustling the dress, um you the videos not matching, the um buttons aren't matching, maybe there was an error with it. So you're like, what's going on? Dress fixes, um, yeah, bouton ears falling apart, power outages, broken heels, missing rings, um some of the other crises. I'm trying to think like the things break. Um if you're doing an outdoor venue, keep in mind if you're doing a glass mirror and there's any wind, you might have a shattered mirror on your wedding day.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Um, I love the look of the mirrors, but mirrors in outdoor spaces just make me hyperventilate.
SPEAKER_01:Um they make you spiral.
SPEAKER_00:Yes. In my emergency kit, I have tweezers, a tide pen, tampons, um, chapstick, gum. Because nobody wants to have bad breath when they're about to kiss their eye. Yes. Um, pins and tons of safety pins. Man, I have safety pinned so many bridesmaids' dresses.
SPEAKER_01:Really?
SPEAKER_00:Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. It's always the day of. I remember like on my wedding day, one of the like wires on like under my armpit kept poking out. Uh-huh. And I was first all so frustrated because my wedding alterations were so expensive, my wedding dress alterations. Um, but I kept thankfully it was under my arm, and mostly my arm is down, so you couldn't see it anyway. But like things like that. And then I didn't even bustle my dress because there was too many buttons and it was chaotic, and we were 20 minutes behind. I just said, screw it. And I just went in and it was fine, of course. And later, um, maybe fun fact, ask your photographers if they can help bustle the dress. Um, they've been to a million weddings, they photograph it. My photographer, you know, we're about to do, I think, um my daughter dad dance and those things. And I was like, oh, just like wish I had my dress bustled. And she goes, why don't you tell me I could have just done it? So they've seen a lot of dresses, they've seen the buttons. So maybe just a uh little fun fact. Ask your photographer if you're struggling with the bustle. Because you think you practice it enough and then you don't, and it's very chaotic. And um if you want your dress bustled, so okay. Next segment also um is we're there to, you know, help manage the guests. If you have a big guest count, you don't even know what goes on behind the scenes to rally everyone to make sure everyone um, I mean, I've seen this many a times. Um, our team, the ceremony starts. There's guests that are still coming in. We're there to be like, hey, gotta hang out back here, or hey, we're walking the bride out right now. Like, you have to sit back. Unfortunately, you're gonna have to miss a ceremony. Um, but you know, at the end of the night, people who are drunk getting any um maybe unwell drunk guests to their destination safely. Um, just like we talked about see uh ceremony seating complications, um, guests going into the wrong areas, um, just really there to keep everything smooth. Um, I know too, we always communicate with DJs to let you know guests know, hey, it's time to come in. We got a seating chart over to the right. Cause, you know, uh, unless you've been to this venue before because of another person's wedding, all of your guests have never been there. They don't know where the restrooms are, they don't know where the bar's at. Um, they don't know where they know where they're gonna go eat, but they don't know where they're sitting. So you need to make sure you have great communication with um vendors' DJs to make sure it goes perfect.
SPEAKER_00:Yes, for everything to go smooth. And nobody accounts for how long it takes to seat guests, even with your beautiful seating chart. Um, because as soon as doors open to a reception hall, um, guests go straight to the bar to get away. They find their seat, their table number, and they go, Oh, we're at table nine, and then they go to the bar. And then so it is like pretty much you're like, where's the alcohol? Correct. People go straight to the bar, not to their seats.
SPEAKER_01:Which I mean is valid. I feel like fairy, because typically, you know, you the grand entrance happens, and then usually dinner is served right after. But I think guests are like, oh, I better get a drink now. Correct. Which I understand, but it's like there's time after before dinner served that you can usually go step to the bar again before dinner served or Fitz Buffet styles. So don't worry if you're a guest, there's always time to get a drink. There's always plenty of times.
SPEAKER_00:Exactly. So, and then one of the last things that we um handle behind the scenes is any um technical difficulties that are a real thing. So we do tons of sound checks, lighting, mics, um, catering handles, temperature controls, making sure that everything is plugged in. Um, like I said, counting, man, counting everything, counting the candles and lighting candles and um table adjustments. So all of the things um can go great. And technology can also just be a pain in the rear. So literally um technical technical issues, technical difficulties do occur. Um, and we do not like fixing them under the pre under pressure or in real time. So tons of mic checks, sound checks. Um, and I absolutely love working with the DJs because we'll be, you know, maybe an hour and a half, two hours prior to ceremony, and they're doing sound check and it's a mix of their very classical ceremony music, and then it goes into just like the ratchet dance music. And it's so fun because it's like, oh, I can't, I can't follow the vibe. I don't know what we're doing. I know.
SPEAKER_01:I love too when they're just like out there doing it and maybe they've done a first look or doing bridal photos, and like they just the bridal party just like busts out laughing because it's just you know, they're like, Oh, it's all classical, and then it's like the ratchet dance music, and then they're like, We're ready to party. And it's like, okay, wait, we gotta we got a ceremony photos, and then and then you can party. Yes, you gotta wait a little bit. So well, I love that.
SPEAKER_00:I know. So, alrighty, friends, that is it for our episode today. We hope that our frequently asked questions that have been answered help you through your planning process and hopefully give you a little glimpse into the behind the scenes logistics for a seamless wedding day. This is Kelsey and Grace. And if you are looking for us, you can find us on the Wedding Hive podcast at Instagram and TikTok. Um, feel free to send us a DM if you have any questions. We would be happy to answer them. Otherwise, we will see you next time. Bye. Bye.