Wedding Hive Podcast
Giving you the tea and ALL the buzz in the wedding world! New episodes every Wednesday!
Wedding Hive Podcast
041- Guest Count, Budget, And Wedding Sanity
We break down why two early choices—guest count and priorities—quietly shape your whole wedding, from budget and timeline to guest experience. Then we tackle plus ones, hotel blocks, vendor meals, and a handful of stubborn myths with practical fixes.
• setting guest count as the foundation for time, cost, and flow
• using RSVPs and online tools to lock clean headcounts
• planning buffers for seating, bars, photos, and bathrooms
• understanding hotel blocks, transportation, and parking limits
• staffing needs for catering, bartending, and setup
• feeding vendors and clarifying meal types in contracts
• choosing three shared priorities to guide spending
• drawing firm lines on plus ones with cultural nuance
• using A–B–C lists to manage invites
• debunking myths about rain, Saturdays, DIY, and dress rules
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Hey Queens is healthy in Grace with Wedding Hive Hive. Giving you the tea and the clothes in the wedding world. Let's jump right in. Hey Queens, welcome back to another episode of the Wedding Hive podcast. Today, Grace and I, we have a lot of things on our list. I don't even know how to like identify what the topic of the day is, but it's all the things you need when you are in the early planning process because it is engagement season. So, but before we do that, you and Logan, our sweet queen, that was on two months ago.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, it's already been two months. It's been two months. It flies by so quick.
SPEAKER_00:Um, we sat here in the studio and you talked about all of the amazing shows that you guys watch and said that I had to get into at least one of them.
SPEAKER_01:Yep.
SPEAKER_00:And I am.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And I am so angry at you.
SPEAKER_01:Because you can't stop watching it. Because I can't stop watching it. Multiple text messages this weekend, phone calls about it, which I just love. It's like when you like watch a show and you already know it's so good, and then obviously, someone who hasn't seen it, you're just waiting for them to like find out everything that happens. But we're talking about the infamous tell me lies.
SPEAKER_00:And it there's a turn every every episode.
SPEAKER_01:It's so I love it because like I I mean, obviously, first of all, that show is very toxic, and it's like that's my life is completely like 180 from that. So, like to like just watch it though and just see, and like I didn't go to college or any of that stuff.
SPEAKER_00:I don't want to, like, I'm glad I didn't live in dorms actually.
SPEAKER_01:Actually, um I know we're I you are you in the you're on the second season, right? I'm almost done with the second season. Okay, perfect. So the third season is out officially. There's four episodes dropped, and me and my girlfriends last night were watching the new episode, and we said at this point, like I would just move. Like I would just move to a different state, like starting them. Like you just everyone needs to get away from each other. So it's trouble. It is.
SPEAKER_00:It's it's toxic and it's so it's even like I made the comment to you. I said, I'm so glad that I didn't live in college dorms or like participate in that life. Um, my oldest kid is gonna be a senior this fall.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And we're looking at colleges.
SPEAKER_01:You're like, so don't do any of that.
SPEAKER_00:And I'm like, I don't know if I really maybe we should look at some other is this what college is all about?
SPEAKER_01:No, it's TV. They gotta make it really good. Yeah, it's very toxic. I know. Um I'm so excited for you to get it to season three. There's only four episodes, but last night's episode at the end was so do they come out every week then? Yeah, the first, yeah. The last week they dropped the new season and they were very kind and they dropped three episodes, which was awesome. And then now it's one episode a week.
SPEAKER_00:So Okay, on what day?
SPEAKER_01:On Tuesday.
SPEAKER_00:Okay.
SPEAKER_01:Kind of random, but that's just when they come out. So every Tuesday night, John knows that I'm busy.
SPEAKER_00:So after this, does this wrap up around the time that Hulu will launch The Bachelorette with uh Taylor Frankie Paul?
SPEAKER_01:Probably because I don't know. I'm assuming there's probably 10 episodes like the first two seasons. So maybe it does like line up. They just send that and then bring because I'm ready. I don't really know. I I don't I've never watched any of the Bachelor, Bachelorette, any of those. And I love Taylor Frankie Paul. She's like one of my favorites on Mormon Wives because she's so just like herself. And I'm like, you know what? I love that. But I don't know. I feel like they just put her on to get views because I feel like I've heard their numbers have kind of dropped. They have. And I'm just like, she has so much going on in her life that you see in the show and her whole situation like with Dakota, and she has three like four kids. I just am like, I don't know if you need to be having a man right now. Maybe we'll help her. But I think she needs time to focus on herself, but you know, but I think she has been doing that.
SPEAKER_00:Like, even this past season of Secret Live of Mormon Wives, she she went on a retreat, like she's done things to work on herself. So maybe she has healed, yeah, and we just haven't seen all that. I don't know.
SPEAKER_01:Her Instagram makes me feel otherwise.
SPEAKER_00:Well, that's how she gets paid. So acting crazy on Instagram is where you get your money. Exactly.
SPEAKER_01:So I'm so excited for you to get to season three, and you're gonna love it, and it's so juicy. But uh yeah, but we are gonna get in today's actual episode. We just had to debrief about that really quick because we know all the girlies you're watching it. So um today we're gonna be talking about just two decisions that quietly shape your entire wedding before you book a venue, which is guest count and your priorities of what you want to spend for your wedding. So if you think about it um with guest count, more people equals slower movement. So seating takes longer, which I've actually thought about a lot because being at so many weddings and the variations of guest sizes, a lot of times when they have the big parties, it's like, hey guys, or you know, head into the reception, we're gonna start dinner service, and it's like a few minutes goes by. Yep, five more minutes goes by, and I'm just like, oh, everyone's still kind of hanging around. Like, so there's buffer time you kind of need to think about. Um, you know, buffets need more stations, so like catering-wise, um, bars need more bartenders, photos are gonna take longer as well, which that includes if you have bigger bridal parties, um, if you want to get photos with everyone, family. Um, something I thought about too is like bathrooms get crowded. Okay. That sounds like not, but it made me think of I went to a friend's wedding. I'm not gonna say like the venue, but they had one bathroom. One. How many people were at the wedding? Like at least 75. So every time you like, even like it was not right next to the bar, but it was close. And I was just like, every time I looked over, just a huge line because there was literally one bathroom. So I know that seems kind of dumb, but I thought about that and I was just like, dang, I that would irritate me. One, like, I wouldn't want to book there because I feel like it's also about guest experience. People don't want to be waiting in lines, they want to enjoy dinner and the reception. So something I think about kind of random, but um, and like I said earlier though, if you think about a larger weddings, just end up requiring more buffer time everywhere. Yes. Because the guests, you know, they're just doing their thing.
SPEAKER_00:So they hear it's time to come inside and or you know, move to a new area, and somehow they just end up back at the bar because they don't think the bar is gonna be available before they are next.
SPEAKER_01:Exactly. I see that all the time too, and I'm glad you brought that up. Is if you are a guest at a wedding, I promise you, when you're going in for dinner service, the bar is not closing for the rest of the night. People, and which I get it, people want to grab a drink before dinner is served, so they have one during dinner. But once typically the couple does grand entrance and dinner service starts, you can go back up and get a drink. Correct. So, guests don't feel like you have to sprint to the bar to get a drink because the bar is gonna be open all night, and then it also just creates more lines, and then it's always like, hey, we can't really have people at the bar, they're about to do the grand entrance, so you want everyone sat. So just something to think about.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. If the bar does get closed, it's for speeches or specialty dances. Yeah, and that's not the whole night.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, it's short little moments in the night that like you'll survive without a drink, or I promise you'll be able to go back to the bar and have your drink and party for the rest of the night.
SPEAKER_00:So yes. Um, guest count also it affects everything from catering, bar costs, rental, stationaries. And I had a very interesting experience in the last 48 hours. I had a conversation with somebody online and they were asking about RSVPs. And they said, you know, I've I'm doing a micro wedding, it's only 50 people. Do I really need an RSVP for it? It's like just family.
SPEAKER_01:That's crazy work.
SPEAKER_00:So kindly went through this. Reading this gave me anxiety. And it's not because I know that it puts a little more work into it on the front end trying to organize RSVPs. But if you don't have the specific guest count, correct.
SPEAKER_01:Which you're gonna dive into, it just affects everything.
SPEAKER_00:It does. It is your catering costs, it's your the amount of alcohol you purchase, how many chairs do you need? And I understand some venues, not many of them, that really work in our market, um, or I should say in our like section of venues that we work with. There are some venues that that open it up and say, all right, we're a 200 capacity venue, we're feeding 200 people. This is your, this is how much you're paying out the door, and it's like an umbrella, so you can invite up to 200, and they don't care about guest count numbers because they're getting paid to feed 200 people. Yeah. So if 175 show up, that's what they feed. And if 50 show up, that's what it is. But there's enough tables and chairs set up for 200. Wow. So now you have empty seats, right? So there are some venues that do it that way. But most venues, and especially catering, really like those exact numbers.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, because you're just gonna waste food at the end of the night.
SPEAKER_00:And then it's wasting your car.
SPEAKER_01:Or the catering staff's gonna be very happy at the end of the night. Correct. It's gonna be like, we're taking home leftovers, so many leftovers.
SPEAKER_00:But truthfully, um, I am not a caterer, but we've experienced enough, enough weddings that catering, you know, when you work with the same caterers over and over and over, no matter how delicious their food is, you're like, I'm good. I know I really don't want to take it. I've had so much of your food.
SPEAKER_01:So delicious.
SPEAKER_00:We're not hating, but it's just yes, it's delicious food, but nobody wants to take it home. Yeah, and nor does catering staff. You worked in the restaurant industry. Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Like you can catering events, yeah, too.
SPEAKER_00:And you can only eat so much of the same food before you don't want it anymore anymore.
SPEAKER_01:100%.
SPEAKER_00:So RSVPs are so important. Free websites through Zola. Um, Zola website is an easy way to track RSVPs. You can manage um communication with guests, you can send out emails. It's so easy. If you want to save it on like a Google spreadsheet, just make sure it's very well organized with those guest lists. And that might even help early on in the planning. Instead of writing down everybody's name, throw it in like a spreadsheet, a like a Google spreadsheet. I don't know if people even use Microsoft spreadsheets anymore. Like everyone I know.
SPEAKER_01:Everything's too fancy now, which is great for us. It's convenient, but yes.
SPEAKER_00:So put all those names in, and then all you have to do is add in um, you know, like on your next line, it's yes, no, or you can mark off, I sent the save the dates, and then the next line is um like official invites have been sent. You can make it very, very easy. And AI, I'm sure if you do not feel confident in using anything, just just ask chat to do it for you.
SPEAKER_01:Chat's true BFF. I know, and that's like um something too for guests. I did mail RSVP, so I didn't do like a website or anything, which I don't really like regret really because I did have a small wedding. I had like 60 guests, so it was more easy to track. But when you are sending back an RSVP, please write how many people. Because it like we made the RSVP and it said like guests, you know, because some of the people that we sent one invite to would be like a couple. And so we'd put that where they didn't have their name on it or like wouldn't say like who it was from. And it was kind of us being like, well, shoot, who sent this? So I mean, thankfully we did have a smaller wedding, so it was easy to end up finding out who had sent it and stuff. But if you're a guest or maybe me, I could have maybe been better about it and making it more easy for people to R SUP, but just something to think about. Yes, because there's nothing worse than getting RCP, and you're like, Who is this?
SPEAKER_00:Where did this come from?
SPEAKER_01:Whose is this? I don't know. Yes.
SPEAKER_00:So that's the nice thing about the online exactly is they require you put your name in, or you can even kind of put some some controls on it. And so if their name isn't in your guest list, it'll say, I'm sorry, you we don't have an RSVP for you. So if somebody's trying to like come in that's not invited, the website will not allow them to RSVP.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, I like that.
SPEAKER_00:They'll say you're not registered, you're not invited.
SPEAKER_01:Correct. So I don't know why. Why are you on this website? Who do you think you are?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:So that's like smart. I know I've had friends do that too. I don't know why I didn't do that, like the online RCP or the through a text message, but definitely I feel like it helps it be more cohesive and streamlined. Yeah. So but am I up next? You're next. Okay, beautiful. Um, let me find my spot. Um, so if you think about also if you're doing a large guest count, um the increase in can do come uh can cause complexity, hotel blocks, transportation planning, pricing, and capacity. So, like if you think about it, and also like parking too, if the venue doesn't have a lot of parking and you have a big guest count, um, take that maybe into consideration when you're picking a venue, if that's important to you. Um, if you do have a big guest count um and you're wanting to do transportation for guests, that's another expense, which I I respect the people who pay for their guests to get transportation. I would never do that, but I'm like, I see the you know, big jet limousines pull up, and I'm like, honestly, that's kind of convenient and really nice. So, um, and hotel blocks too. I saw this. Be really careful. I think it was probably a TikTok that I came up on, but she was freaking out because they had blocked so many rooms and they thought more people were coming than they had, you know, ended up actually RSVPing. And now she's like, if we don't get these rooms filled, now we're like 10K. And I'm just like, I can't even imagine the stress of obviously wedding planning and like the money aspect, and then to just have to pay 10K for hotel rooms that you're not even using.
SPEAKER_00:So that's the difference in a courtesy room block and a contracted room block.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:So you have to clarify with your hotel when you're doing that, is this a courtesy? Meaning once we get, you know, 21 days prior to wedding, they release the rooms. It was like it was a kindness out of the hotel's heart for them to block these rooms, yeah. Or am I contracting, guaranteeing these rooms are gonna be blocked? Because that's where they'll get you.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:So you have to keep it. So that's a good tip.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, if you're doing hotel blocks, make sure it's like Elsie said, and the courtesy, because I would cry if I had to. And it was almost, I think she was even like, if you guys are in the area and want to get discounts, like she was basically you know, trying to trying to get the remote. Everybody, yeah, everyone's like, everyone actually just come in the way. Yeah, like she was like, if people want to book, I was just like, oh my god, this poor, this poor pride. But that's something gotta do your research and make sure you know what you're getting yourself into.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Before you put that money in.
SPEAKER_00:Um, another thing that will that your guest count will affect is your vendor staff. So um these are things from how many cooks need to come in with catering or servers for busing, your bartenders, your um even setup team, how many, how many setup members are gonna have to be part of your planning team or your prep team? Those things do, they don't seem to cost money when you're thinking about it early on. But those people not only need to be paid for their services, but meals are also going to have to be accounted for. I think I actually have this further down my list, but I'll go into it now. You do need to pay for your vendors' meals. Yeah, you have to feed your vendors. Please. Um, so in that guest count, you know, whoever your your catering team is, your catering captain, or your venue, however it's working through, whoever's in charge of catering, you need to have that conversation. Are they being charged for a full uh guest count charge? You know, because per guest is a price point. Yeah. Or do you have a vendor uh meal charge? Is it is it separated because they're not technically a guest, they're just a vendor, they're eating the food, they're not participating in the events, they're not sitting in a chair at the tables.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Um, so clarifying that with your with your venue or with your catering staff, like how those numbers break down because you have to feed your team.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, and I've heard a lot of like vendors put that in their contracts. Correct. Saying I need to be fed, which I mean is fair. They're there, you know, eight, ten, depending how long you, you know, couples book them, they're there all day. So it's the least they can do is have a meal.
SPEAKER_00:And sometimes it's the same thing that the caterers are feeding the guests, and sometimes it's a packed sandwich lunch. Yep. Seen lots of like brown bags for the vendors, and it's like snack bags, yes, and it's a turkey sandwich and a piece of fruit and a capri son. Like it's literally what I send my kids on field trips with.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, I love that. Well, yeah, and two if you're doing meal, exactly. You know what I mean? So 100%. And that too, I think. Also, if you're doing food trucks, obviously have gotten really big. So, like, also considering it them, sometimes we've seen food trucks run out of food, and then the vendors don't get fed, and it's never I mean, it's not gonna ruin the whole day, but you want your vendors to be happy that they're doing a service, and I think a meal is like the least that they should get, yes, in my opinion, not about yours, but I think that's what they say.
SPEAKER_00:There's nothing that and it's happened before. That's why I say this. Um, I've totally had a photographer walk up and been like, Where's my plate? Or do you have my bagged lunch? And I'm like, what are you talking about? We did not, and so it's something that you and I'll pull up my contract and show you. I'm required to be fed, and I'm like, sweet, okay, let me figure it out. Because it was an oversight, you know what I mean? So it's really important that you feed, feed your peeps, yeah, and you don't have to feed, like if your rental company is dropping off lounge set at 10 a.m., you're not putting them in your account, they're not gonna be there for food. Florists are sometimes there. They're they're less than they're there for the event. Um, but if your florist is staying to maybe repurpose items, move things around, and they have a role throughout the evening, and so they're staying on site for the wedding the entire time, feed them.
SPEAKER_01:Yep. But yeah, DJ photographer, videographer, bartenders, like definitely all the main people for sure.
SPEAKER_00:Correct. And even I've had it's also been another funny one with like photo booths. Photo booths show up and they are setting up during dinner because they're gonna be there through dancing and for the remainder of the night. And I did have to tell a photo booth person once, like, you're not being fed, you're not here for the dinner portion. Like you needed to come fed. Yeah, I don't know why you came hungry. Well, yeah, and it wasn't in your contract, it wasn't within the times. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:You're like, wait, you expected, but you didn't ask. Correct. So you should have asked.
SPEAKER_00:So there needs to be a very clear communication on vendor meals.
SPEAKER_01:For sure.
SPEAKER_00:So you can account for it in your budget.
SPEAKER_01:Yep, and the budget and the guest count, because they they're there. Yep. Um, okay. The next part we're going to talk about is wedding priorities versus wedding noise. Just remember there's a difference between what looks good, what people expect, and what actually matters to you. So be sure to always, you know, identify in the beginning your priorities, whether that's the experience. So you want to spend a lot of money on a DJ because you want to make sure there's a great, you know, party going on. Um, is the stationary and the decor most important to you? Um, and then of course, like food and open bar and things like that. So make sure you prioritize which ones are most important to you.
SPEAKER_00:Yes. Usually three. Three is a good, is a good number.
SPEAKER_01:Yes.
SPEAKER_00:And the three need to be between both parties. So you and your partner need to decide. You've both, if you each have three, then that's six priorities, and that might make it hard to make it all happen. So really, really decide um, like one for each partner, and then maybe a combined one. One partner is usually more invested in the wedding planning process, as we know. Um, but it's still your partner's day. Yeah. So include them in having those conversations.
SPEAKER_01:I know. I totally agree on that.
SPEAKER_00:Um, I want to talk about plus ones really quick. Ooh. Okay. You talked about the plus ones and the numbers with your RSVPs. Yes. And how people weren't telling you.
SPEAKER_01:Yes.
SPEAKER_00:You so you can, it's your wedding. Do it how you want to do it. Plan it how you want. But when you're working on those guest count numbers, are you going to include plus ones? Are you going to include people who are married, been in long-term relationships? What are your thoughts, Grace, on inviting people who are just like in the friend zone or not really, or maybe they're in a long-term relationship, but it's been rocky. It's it's labeled complicated. Like who, who should what is what do plus ones look like?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, that's a good question. For plus ones, I think it's it's always tough because I feel like there's the aspect of like maybe you're inviting a friend who like doesn't know someone or like know a lot of people like that are coming into your wedding. So like I gave my childhood best friend, um, I invited her and I was like, hey, if you want to like bring your sister, like who I also grow up with and love to, or like one of your family members, because like you're not really gonna know a lot of people. So like I gave her like a plus one. Um and I think when it comes to like the relationship, um, like my cousin had texted me, and I'm not shitting on her anything, but she like had kind of just started a relationship and she's like, Hey, can I bring my boyfriend? And I was like, No, yeah, respectfully, you know, because it's like I just don't agree with letting people just bring whoever they want. It's not their wedding, it's yours. And I've always been someone that I was like, I'm not gonna meet someone for the first time at my own wedding. I feel like that's like crazy to me that people are like, oh yeah, we had 200 people. I don't even know half the people that were at my wedding. So I think there's a happy medium of where you can have a plus ones, but um, and when it comes to someone who's not married, I would say like at least together for a year to have a qualified plus one.
SPEAKER_00:Okay. If that makes sense.
SPEAKER_01:Okay. What do you think?
SPEAKER_00:I think it's so hard. Um, because I also think about the the which is crazy to say, but I think about the the different cultures and how different cultures celebrate weddings. Yeah. Because, like in the Hispanic culture, we I get invited to weddings all the time. Like my sister-in-law will invite my husband and I and come to this wedding. I'm like, I don't even know them. Why, like, who are they? Yeah. No, it's a wedding because in the culture, it's not just one person that shows up. It's everybody shows up. Like the whole family shows up. Literally. It's all about having this big party.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Um, so I try to put take that into account. I also I think at the end of the day, you have to protect your peace. You don't want anybody at the wedding that is going to be disruptive, be disrespectful. These pictures are gonna last forever. You don't want to look at your wedding pictures and find, be like, who is who was that that showed up in a Hawaiian t-shirt to my black tie wedding? You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_01:Um that too, with like plus ones, like you don't know these people. So it's like, what if they do something like that? You know what I mean? You would hope that if someone's asking for a plus one, they would be respectful of whatever you're asking, but like you don't know these people.
SPEAKER_00:I there was um, I there was a guest that showed up and it was a family member of the groom, and he brought a tender date. And it was apparent this chick was a tender date. Like she, the it was like you kind of take a double take and then you don't look again because you're like, what are they wearing? You're like, wait, they were a tender date and in all the photos, and it looked like maybe she should have been like at the bachelor party. Yeah, like not collecting the dollars, yeah, not attending the wedding, like you have to protect your piece. You have to you have to wait, protect your piece. And at the end of the day, you're paying for this person to be there.
SPEAKER_01:That's like my biggest thing. Like when people just like are at their weddings are just like, yeah, like bring whoever, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, literally, do you know how much a plate costs? Right.
SPEAKER_00:And you're just like, yeah, whoever can come. When you're paying anywhere from 60 to$160 per head, literally.
SPEAKER_01:I ain't having no randos at my wedding.
SPEAKER_00:Is that is that so just have the conversation early? Yep. Um, could if you think that you can trim down later in your guest count, unless you're doing a destination wedding or most people are flying in from out of state, that's your only saving grace when it comes to your like initial guest count because not everybody's gonna pay for flights, hotels, car rentals, all the things they will take off work. But if you're having a local wedding and everybody's in town, the idea of trimming down your guest count is not as likely as if it's a out-of-state wedding.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Um, so one thing you can also do is do an A B C list. You know, many couples who have done this, they have their A list, their B list, their C list, and kind of working through that. If A doesn't completely fill up, then you can start to bring in some of the people from the B list and possibly the C list. So I think that's all of my guest count rants for today. Yeah, me too. I I feel pretty just a little passionate about because the budget and the guest count and who's there are just they're too cohesive together that like you have to. And they're foundational pieces of the process. Yes. So if you wanna if you want to start the process well, you have to have these things ironed out. So 100%. Um what do you have? Do you want to chat about something?
SPEAKER_01:We're gonna wrap up with a few little wedding myths. We thought it'd be fun just to talk about those and maybe give our like opinions. So I'll say my first one. What do you think about rain on your wedding day is bad luck?
SPEAKER_00:What's my thought on that?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, like do you think like that's true? Or like you know, like it's good luck. Okay, that's what I thought. I was like, I kept like kind of doing like a little research on it, and I was like, I thought it was supposed to be good luck.
SPEAKER_00:They say rain on wedding days good luck. I think that was like maybe originally that was like here's what I think happened. I'm just convinced. Okay, there was a bride somewhere hundreds of years ago.
SPEAKER_01:She's just like, she's like back in the stone age.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, somebody was making sourdough bread, somebody was putting fire in the in the burner, and it started raining, and a bride had a meltdown.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And her sweet family member walked over. If it was her aunt, if it was her mom, if it was her sister, and said, Honey, don't you know rain rain's good luck on wedding day? This means you're gonna have an amazing marriage. Okay, and she went, Oh, okay, to just try to like calm her down a little. Yeah, get rid of the panic attack. I'm here. Didn't have a Xanax at that time, so they couldn't have her take anything. This was probably during the prohibition, and so there wasn't alcohol, it wasn't legal when this took place. Okay, that's my that's my synopsis. Okay, and then it just carried on. Okay. And that's just what it is in my head. I have no idea where that started. I don't even but I really think it's to chill a bride out.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. And tell her like it's gonna be. I don't know if that would do it for me because like I've been to weddings, obviously, when it's rained, and I'm like, I'm like, God bless. And it's always, I will say, like, it's always the perfect couple or like bride who's just like, who cares? Like, it's fine. I'm like, I love this for you because I would not. I would have spiraled if it rained because I had an outdoor venue, so which I just would have been very upset. But you know, I do agree. It's I'm gonna say it's good luck.
SPEAKER_00:I think it's good luck.
SPEAKER_01:I don't agree. I don't think it's bad luck.
SPEAKER_00:So um, okay, here's another myth. You need to invite everyone you know. No, there's so many people I know that I would not want to have a wedding.
SPEAKER_01:I know. Well, and it's like so funny. Like when I was planning my wedding, I remember how like um like these friends that we ended up making, and when I had one friend I'd had for a while, and then he brought this friend into the group or whatever. And I remember we were like all out eating one day, and I've known in maybe like six months or something. And he straight up was like, So am I invited to the wedding? I said, sir. I said, I'm not even inviting people I've known since I was a child to my wedding. I've known you for six months. You're not invited to the wedding. So love you. I have nothing against you, but you're not coming to my wedding. So I do not think you need to invite everyone you know. I think, I think what that is, is a guilt tactic that people use to get people and couples to invite people. I feel like it's typically more family, like, oh, well, they took you on your first, they helped you ride a bike, and then like I don't give a shit.
SPEAKER_00:Is it terrifying? So far this year, um, we we've been invited to two weddings this year. And I don't want to go.
SPEAKER_01:I mean, like, I enjoy weddings, but I'm just like fun. Yeah, but if I don't know you or I'm not like close to you, I'm just like, why am I there?
SPEAKER_00:Like, this is such an intimate moment for you and your partner, and it's like to establish this marriage. Yeah. I don't need to be there. I don't want to be there. No, I don't want to. So, all right, what's the next one you have?
SPEAKER_01:Um, I obviously think this is like really big and changed a lot, but that weddings have to be on a Saturday.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, yeah. No, that's out the window.
SPEAKER_01:It's so gone. And it's like, I mean, I had a Saturday wedding, but it just it does if you're trying to like budget a little bit more or like save that coin. I mean, venues give a lot of discounts for Friday, Thursday, Mondays. Yeah. I mean, at the end of the day, I like feel like I've noticed too, or like in my head thought about if your wedding's on a Monday and it's like, I think a lot of people try to stay away from that just because of like people having to go to work and stuff. But I'm like, if those people you're inviting really love and care about you, I'm sure they can take one day off work. Like, is it gonna like you know, maybe affects them? But I'm like, if they really care and support and love you, they'll take one day off work to like come be at your wedding. And it's like most weddings obviously don't start till 4 or 4:30. So people are already off work and have time to like head over there and then have the next day off and be tired and hung over.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. So no, I yeah, that one's out the window. Saturdays, people are getting married every day of the week.
SPEAKER_01:No, literally.
SPEAKER_00:So um, DIY always saves money.
SPEAKER_01:No, such a lie, such a lie. I feel like if anything, DIY just makes it worse. Like, nothing. In what way? Well, like the stress, like me. I mean, I wasn't a DIY bride because like I'm just I know my strengths and my weaknesses. Okay. And DIYing, like, you know, table numbers and shit like that. I was like, no. I was like, I'm just gonna spend the money on that stuff. Um, I mean, I guess the the only thing I did DIY was our centerpieces for our tables, but like that was easy. We bought the vases off Amazon and then flowers off Costco, and we just cut them and put them in there. Like that's pretty easy. But I feel like one, it always becomes more costly than you think. You think, oh, I'm gonna save a few bucks because I'm gonna DIY, but like stuff's expensive.
SPEAKER_00:It is expensive.
SPEAKER_01:I've gone to Michael's like in the past few weeks to like get stuff, and I'm just like, oh my god, all this stuff is so expensive. And then, and then if you mess it up, then you have to redo it, and then you have to buy more material, and it's just I think the headache is you have to store everything.
SPEAKER_00:Yes, you have to keep count of everything, you have to take everything to the venue. But please, I hope somebody else is setting it up for you so you don't have to set it up because it's your wedding day. And then all that stuff goes back home.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And so garages are just store stuff you're never gonna use.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:So maybe buying at resale on like bridal Facebook marketplaces, things like that, that makes sense. But rentals are cheap, they get you on delivery fees or like late night pickup fees or cleaning fees, like that's where it adds up. But at the same time, you never have to deal with it. Exactly. It's not your responsibility.
SPEAKER_01:The hassle is just like so. I think if you, yeah, it's so minimal. And I think if you can splurge a little bit on like just doing the rentals, like buying the stuff, you know, I would just do it. I feel like DIY, or maybe do like one DIY project. Like we're gonna make, you know, me and my husband, we're gonna make our seating chart together. Like that's that's fine. But when you try to DIY the seating chart, DIY the table numbers, DIY the welcome sign, then it's like now you've taken on so many more projects and it's just gonna be more stressful.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Unless you're super crafty.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, if that's like your thing, girl, get it.
SPEAKER_00:But but that's the thing. I'm super crafty and I just yeah, just and I don't have time.
SPEAKER_01:I'm like, take my credit card. Yeah, I'm like, I'm like, I just I don't want to build it, I don't want to make it. What's the next one you have? Um, the groom's outfit doesn't matter. Oh, it totally matters. I know. I honestly love that so many grooms have been like stepping out of the comfort zone out of like just black, and I've seen like emerald green and like dark burnt orange, and I'm like, you know what? Hell yeah. Yep. I said, I love that the grooms are, you know, basically what we do as brides, you know, picking our dress um with our style and like adding fun stuff and the veil. And it's like now they're like, Well, why I why can't I do that? Yep, you know, or adding the cool cufflings or doing personalized like chains on the pockets. Like, I've been really liking seeing the groom step it up.
SPEAKER_00:Yep. I'm I'm here for it. Um marriage beliefs. The wedding is the most important day of your life. Your wedding day.
SPEAKER_01:I think in a sense, yes, of course. Like it's a very monumental moment, but like there's other things I think that are very also important in your life. Like if you have children and you know, things like that, or like if you, you know, have a business and you like hit your biggest sales. I think there's like a lot of other important parts, but I think making it the best day of your life can sometimes make it not the best day of your life. Because you have so much like stress and expectations on one day, and then something doesn't go right or whatever, then it's like now that has tainted like the day when it's not supposed to be like that's supposed to be fun.
SPEAKER_00:So the marriage is the most important.
SPEAKER_01:The marriage is we'll say it again and again.
SPEAKER_00:The marriage is the most important part, exactly. Yeah, I think like you said, there's so many big monumental moments in life. Yeah, yes, the wedding day is huge. Um I don't think I would I don't I wouldn't say like my wedding day was the most important day of my life.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Because then you think like, you know, I have kids, yeah, and so their births were important. Or what about the day I met my husband? Like the day I met my husband is almost more significant than the wedding day. Yeah, because that's when it's that's where everything changed, you know what I mean? So I don't know. So sweet. We're not dogging on it. We are here for wedding. Yes, Vila, obviously, yeah. That's what our whole podcast is about. When you have super high expectations for this perfect wedding day, it's really hard to meet.
SPEAKER_01:I know. I feel like I might have talked before about this one influencer that I like really like watching. She just got married and she had said, I mean, her wedding was definitely at least probably like a million dollars, like for sure. And even she said, like, she was like, Yeah, it was kind of hard to be present on the day of because they just had this and then they had that, and then they had like a late night, and there's just like a million things going on. And I'm like, I think that's another like pressure of like she felt like oh I'm an influencer, like I need to like go all the way out, and it's like at the end of the day, like that stuff really doesn't matter, like at all. So I think I just have one more and then we can wrap it up. Okay, sounds good. Um, I think this has changed a lot too. The bride must wear white.
SPEAKER_00:This is your favorite topic.
SPEAKER_01:This is this is my favorite topic. I know. I mean, I'm like, I'm here for bride switching it up. We've seen black dresses, my best friend got married in a black dress. I don't feel like I've seen any other colors though.
SPEAKER_00:Um, there's been like incorporated colors, yeah, like a bow or something. Or I think back to like 2010 when they had like the red wraps or like the purples. You know what I mean? Like colors were incorporated with it.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:So hey, it's your wedding. Do what you want. Yeah, do whatever you want, baby.
SPEAKER_01:And I feel like white, I think like even my wedding dress was like ivory. Like it wasn't actually like pure white. So I like that they've made so many different, like differentiated. I don't know if that's a word. Different tones. Um, different tones and stuff of whites, so that it's a little different than just plain white. And that dress gets so dirty so quick.
SPEAKER_00:It does.
SPEAKER_01:I do have to say that, brides, just be ready. Like your dress is gonna get dirty. So just just be ready for that. Um, and don't let it get to you because it's white and you're gonna be walking around and people are gonna probably step on it. So exactly. And that's what the photographers are there for to edit the photos. Correct. Yep.
SPEAKER_00:So, well, I'm so glad that we got to get back to the phone. This is a good one. I know. Lots of tips. Yes. In all the planning. Yeah, build that foundation because that's what's most important. And then the rest of the planning process should go smoother.
SPEAKER_01:Yes, exactly.
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SPEAKER_00:So, and we will see you next time. Bye.