Wedding Hive Podcast
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Wedding Hive Podcast
048- The Wedding Day Checklist You Forgot
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We share the 10 planning details brides regularly miss and why those “small” items can cause the biggest wedding-day stress. We trade real planner stories, simple fixes, and a few strong opinions so you can protect your timeline, your photos, and your peace.
• remembering the marriage license and learning county rules early
• coordinating who files the license and using certified copies for ID changes
• budgeting and counting vendor meals in the final headcount
• adding timeline buffer for glam, photos, and transportation
• choosing a bright getting ready space for better photos and video
• assigning one person to secure gifts and the card box
• packing an emergency kit including hygiene items and electrolytes
• preparing labeled tip envelopes and handing them to a trusted person
• setting expectations for an unplugged ceremony before guests arrive
• bringing comfortable backup shoes and planning a quiet moment together
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Welcome And The Shoe Mishap
SPEAKER_02Hey Queens, welcome to today's episode of the Wedding Hive Podcast. Grace and I are here talking about some really important things, and that is the 10 things brides forget about. Grace, I know that John, your wonderful husband, forgot something on wedding day. Yes, but let's let's just start it on a light note and tell the listeners what sweet John did not remember on his wedding day.
SPEAKER_01I know. Can't live with him, can't live without him. So it was funny because the day before our wedding, we obviously had the rehearsal at the wedding venue, and we both decided we'll wear our shoes to kind of just feel the land, you know, break them in a little bit more. So I had remembered that I had taken them home that evening and not left them at the venue. He did not remember to bring his shoes. So our photographer arrived. And like 10 minutes in, the second shooter said, Hey, I'm gonna start getting shots of the guys. And a few minutes later, she comes back and we're like, Hey, like, what's up? And she goes, Well, I don't want to like make you nervous, but he forgot his wedding shoes. Cool, great. And so thankfully, his two brothers rushed to our place, which we thankfully only lived 20 minutes from the venue. But this is your remember, like reminder, please have checklist if your venue is far. If you are traveling for your wedding, make sure you have everything because you might not be as lucky as I was.
Marriage License Rules And Name Tips
SPEAKER_02Yes. So that is the perfect example that none of us have it all together. And these are some of the things for you to remember so you don't forget about them. Yes. Um, so we will kick off number one marriage license. Dun dun dun. I know this one sounds completely obvious, but it happens more than you would think. Couples get so focused on planning the wedding that they forget there's an actual legal part to getting married. I have personally experienced this as a wedding planner, and I just bless their soul.
SPEAKER_01So like they don't bring it to the venue, or they forget to get it all together.
SPEAKER_02Yep. I had a couple say, Yep, don't worry, Kelsey. We have it, we have it. They were so sure. And so on wedding day, they hand me the form and I smiled and said, Um, can I talk to you in the other room? And we went to the other room and I said, This is your application. This is not your license. You are missing the form.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you have to go in and fill out a whole form. And then they, I forget, I mean, it's been two years now. They send it to you and you go pick it up. Do you do you remember how it goes? Yes.
SPEAKER_02So we uh you have to apply for the license. And so you go into your local courthouse. Um, some courthouses require an appointment and some let you do walk-ins, but you have to go in, you have to provide a form of ID, fill it out, pay the application fee. They trade you the application for the actual marriage license. So every state has different different rules on marriage license. Some expire after a certain amount of time, some require a waiting period, and like I said, some require appointments. And like I said, I have seen people scramble the week of their wedding because they realized they never picked it up. Another note, um, not to be the downer, but we did have to debunk a lie um here recently that just because you get married in one state does not mean that you have to legally get divorced in that state. So people have believed uh, you know, we're traveling for our wedding, we're doing a destination wedding somewhere in the continental US, you do have to bring the marriage license and have it filed through the state that you are getting married in. Um so, for example, here in the uh metro Phoenix area, we are under the rule of Maricopa County. So because you're getting married in Maricopa County, you need to have a um Arizona um marriage license. Now, if that couple goes back to New York or New Jersey or Chicago and the marriage is, you know, no longer and they are getting divorced, they do not have to come back to Arizona to have their divorce finalized. They can do that in the state that they live in. Um, so pro tip, please remember to mark your calendar uh a few months, if that's one to two months, maybe before the wedding, to look up your county's requirement and schedule a time to get your marriage license. Again, I know that in Maricopa County, a marriage license, when it is handed to the couple, it is good for a calendar year. So 365 days. So they can get their marriage license up to a year before the wedding. But then you have to make sure that you keep track of that license.
SPEAKER_01So and make sure you send it back in once you're done getting married, otherwise, it won't get recorded. Correct. So don't forget that part.
SPEAKER_02Yes. Um, often the officiants are the ones that are responsible for mailing it back in, but just coordinate who is going to be the one to turn in that marriage license. So it is official. Yes. So another note on marriage license, really quick, because we're on the topic. When you're filling it out, make sure that you fill it out with your maiden name. Um, you will not have your married name until you file it through the social security office, and you are not able to file it through the social security office until you have the official marriage license back. So, in order to change your name, you have to have the marriage license filed with the county and then have it returned with your official formed. This is said and done, and that is what you take into the social security office.
SPEAKER_01So yeah, also too, a pro tip is um I would pay for a certified copy of your marriage license if you're getting a passport with your new name on it. There's certain things that you need it for, so you can change your last name on identification.
SPEAKER_02Yep.
Vendor Meals And Final Headcounts
SPEAKER_01I think driver's license, too. You can do, you don't have to bring in the actual one, you can just do a certified copy, but something to keep in mind. And I think it's like 30 bucks, so it's not that expensive. Um, okay, let's get into the next one. So actually, we posted a TikTok about this and it kind of blew up a little bit. Um, vendor meals. You do have to pay for your vendors' meals if they are staying for your wedding and shooting for X amount of hours. And also typically, a lot of these vendors will have this in their contracts, so it's not really a surprise. But um, vendors are usually working eight to 10 hour days, sometimes longer. Um, that includes your photographer, videographer, content creator, DJ, coordinators, you know, band members. So um just like we said, a lot of times your vendors are gonna have that in their contract just to make sure. And then also you're gonna want it to confirm that they are getting a meal because your venue is gonna want a final headcount, which includes them. Correct. So don't do thinking, oh no, it's they they're not included. No, they are a human being and they need to be counted in your headcount. Um, what happens, what happens then um is if you don't have it in down or written, the planner or your day of coordinator is gonna be scrambling to try and find food for your vendors, ordering pizza, delivery, Uber Eats, who knows? Um, but yeah, just pro tip ask every vendor in advance if they require a vendor meal and include that in your catering numbers. Yes. We don't want anyone hangry, no one wants to be hangry.
SPEAKER_02No, especially if they're there doing work for your big day.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, exactly. And if it's hours, if it's hot, like everyone needs to eat.
Building A Timeline With Buffer
SPEAKER_02So yes. So speaking of the day, next one is timeline buffer. So man, I can't stress this one enough. Wedding timelines almost always run late. So hair and makeup runs late, family photos take longer because there always seems to be that one family member that gets caught up in a conversation and things. And you're screaming for them revolves around them. Literally. So, and sure enough, people can't find their shoes. I'm sure Grace experienced this with her lovely husband because somebody had to go get his shoes. So many timelines are built with zero buffer, which causes a very stressful day. So we always recommend putting buffer time in. You can do a 10 to 15 minute buffer zone throughout the day. Um, one thing that I like to do is I like to buffer my timelines with very dramatic time amount. So going from one space to another, instead of building a timeline with um, for say, you know, five to 10 minutes to get everybody seated in the reception to start festivities, I like to put a 10 to 15 minute buffer in. That is because we can always move things along if need to, but at least that buffer time is there. Same for photo buffers. Um, those are really important. We want to make sure that you're getting those beautiful sunset photos and you do not want to miss out on those. And then the other big one is transportation buffers. I had seven shuttles to get from one point A to point B, and I was freaking out putting together this timeline six months in advance. So built plenty of buffer time. And sure enough, that day ran so smooth. People, we wanted them to arrive at the venue 30 minutes prior to ceremony, and they were there between 35 to 43 minutes before the ceremony. So we were able to do some guest entertainment to be able to keep them occupied for that time. Um, but that guaranteed that the important people were not um missing for the ceremony and things were able to stay on track. So those are just some small gaps to keep your day from feeling rushed.
Better Getting Ready Photos And Video
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I like that. There was one wedding that I was at and the ceremony didn't even start till the sun came down because the transportation went to the wrong pickup spot. There was an accident on the freeway. So I think if you can put as much buffer time as possible, also just make sure you're communicating with all of your vendors as to where pickup, drop off, and times to be there. Because I think it's better, obviously, of course, to rather be running early than running late. And then you feel rushed and you feel like you can't enjoy your big day. Yep. Um, so this is kind of what a lot of people might think of, but especially the bride's getting ready lighting. Um, it's probably something you guys probably don't even think of. The lighting in your get ready room makes a huge difference in photos and videos for your photographer, videographer. If you end up having a content creator, um, so think about maybe getting ready with rooms with natural window lighting, neutral walls, and open space. Um, obviously, those just look the best on camera. So um if you think about it, sometimes brides, you're gonna end up getting ready in dark hotel rooms with yellow lighting, clutter everywhere, and it makes the content so much harder to capture beautifully. Um, so if you can choose a room with big windows, light colors, and definitely space for everyone. I think too, if you're feel like you're ended up like in a room that is dark, bring, you know, lighting, ring lights, um, you know, anything you can think of to make the the room more bright and feel more natural.
Who Takes Gifts And Cards
SPEAKER_02Yep, I love that. Um, next thing that often gets overseen is they somebody needs to be responsible for your gifts and cards. At almost every wedding, there is a table for gifts and cards. But the question no one asks is who is responsible for taking these home? So in the world um of my space, I always ensure that we either have a name of somebody who's supposed to take it, or even if I need to set it aside, um, place it in a locked closet or in an office somewhere that I know where gifts and um cards are going. That way I know who to give them at to at the end of the night because you do not want those things missing. I have often seen the opposite take place where we have a plan and a parent decides to grab them just to be kind, and then I'm frantically running all over trying to figure out where the heck the card box is.
SPEAKER_01You're like, Where's all the money at?
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And then I find it sitting randomly on a reception table by itself, and I grab it and I lock it up, and then that person is now freaking out, going, Where did it go? Well, you weren't supposed to touch it. So um make sure that at the end of the night, things can often be chaotic and couples forget about them. So designate someone ahead of time. If it is a sibling, a parent, a bridemaid, make sure that that person knows that they are responsible for it. And if anybody else asks, let them know that you have it taken care of. So you just want to make sure someone knows that it is their job to collect it and take it home safely at the end of the night. Did you get a lot of gifts for your wedding on your wedding day?
SPEAKER_01No. So we actually in our RSVPs wrote like um kindly, if you'd like to bring a gift, we would love money. Um, worded better. I don't know how we exactly ordered it, but yeah, we were just like, we want to, um we had just moved in together, so we wanted to buy stuff for our apartment. We were wanting to save up money for our big year up honeymoon. So we kindly asked for people to bring cash. And I think even my cousin still brought us cash and she got me like a cute wedding photo album book. So I think that was the only gift that we got, but that was what we asked for.
SPEAKER_02Okay, I don't see very many gifts at weddings. If I do see gifts, it seems to be the older generation brings something. Yeah. So they're not as common. Yeah, and lots of people like to do their registry. Um, they connect it to their wedding website. Um, but the nice thing with those registries are it is already linked to your home, and so your gifts just get shipped straight to your home. You just open the door, we didn't get random gifts. It's like Amazon that you didn't have to pay for. I know. It always brings joy.
SPEAKER_01And it likes, I know when I did that for my bridal shower, and I was always just like, delivery, delivery. I'm like, oh my God, this is so fun. I love this.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And then it kind of makes it easier too for the day of when you have a bridal shower. Um, I definitely had some a few more gifts, but it makes it easier to not have to like carry everything home in one day because it's it can be a lot, which very grateful for, but it can help with not having a lot of time.
SPEAKER_02But that's the other thing is leaving a venue and having to take everything out with you. You don't want to have to figure out how you're gonna pack all of those gifts home too.
SPEAKER_01Exactly.
SPEAKER_02Because nobody wants to take pots and pans.
Emergency Kits That Save The Day
SPEAKER_01They're like, you're all you're drunk at 10 o'clock, you're exhausted. They're like, where's the pots and pans going? Exactly. Like, I want to go home. Yes. Um, okay, so next one is gonna be an emergency kit, which I feel like these have become really popular. Um, I feel like they always save the day, whether you use one thing out of that box or you use everything in the box. Um, so things you can add are, you know, fashion tapes, safety pins, stain remover, advil, deodorant bobby pins, and of course, tissues for those tears that are gonna come. Um, something will always go wrong, as we've talked about, always, um, whether it's big or small on your wedding day. Um, and having that little emergency kit nearby can just make the day feel way less stressful.
SPEAKER_02Yes.
SPEAKER_01I'm like, I feel like just like I said, even if it's the smallest thing, it's just like, you know what? It's taken care of. We have it, no stress.
SPEAKER_02Yep. The other thing I would add to that list is tampons. Yeah, um, or female, what are they, what do they even call them? Female hygiene products. Um, something because I I keep them in my purse for it or in like my emergency wedding bag. Because I feel like there's always one wedding that somebody freaks out because they started their period.
SPEAKER_01So something too that I just thought about before I forget, um, at our wedding in the bathroom, we had like little almost emergency kits for the guests. So it had things like that in the men and the women's, just so something to think about if you're getting married, if you're wanting to be there for your guests, just a little something extra if that does happen and it's just in the bathroom and ready to go.
SPEAKER_02Yep. The other thing I would add to this list is um like liquid IVs or some sort of electrolyte packets. They said, please. I actually just met with a couple last night and we were sitting down and we were chatting through the alcohol and all of the things around the bar and making sure that it's a fun night and everybody feels good. And we were laughing about shooters, and the bride joked and said, What if we gave like, is there a way to do shooters of electrolytes? Like, could we find those? And I said, I've never seen them before, but yes, electrolytes, you can never go wrong with just giving somebody just a rejuvenation you need a little extra love.
SPEAKER_01Well, and two things I think that's great too for wedding party because the day is so long and you don't realize and you're like not really drinking water, you're like doing something every second of the day. So, like to have those two for your bridal party.
Tip Envelopes And Smooth Goodbyes
SPEAKER_02Yes, absolutely. So, next one is vendor tip envelopes. A lot of couples want to tip their vendors, but forget to plan for it ahead of time. Then suddenly the end of the night comes and everybody is scrambling to figure it out. So the easiest solution for this is to prepare envelopes ahead of time and give them to your planner or a trusted family member to distribute. That takes the stress off of you. They are sealed envelopes and nobody knows how much is in them. Across the cover, it says, you know, the business name or even what the vendor is. So if it's a photographer or it is the photographer's name, it just makes it very smooth for your vendors to get their tips. And it is not something that you have to be chasing around. And let's be honest, only a few wedding dresses have pockets, so you don't want to have to go looking for your groom to ask him where the money is.
SPEAKER_01I know it's funny. Actually, I recently was at a wedding and that kind of not issue came up, but it was like, did like this vendor's leaving? And it's like, hey, did we tip? I don't know. So also communicate with like your partner, hey, this is taken care of, like it's in a safe place. The coordinator is gonna hand out the tip. So when the vendors are leaving, you're not feeling like awkward or guilty, like, oh no, like did we tip them or not? Um, so I definitely discuss that either 100% with your partner and then to you know close immediate family, because they're probably gonna come up to either mom or dad or whoever and be like, hey, you know, we're leaving. So definitely communicate that.
SPEAKER_02And I will also say, um, I usually give the, I all very often I end up giving them their vendor tip when they exit at the end of the night. Um, so if a bride hands me a stack of money, I throw it in my fanny pack, it's zipped up, it's on my body. And then, you know, as I'm talking with vendors, I just say, hey, before you leave tonight, make sure that you check in with me. I have an envelope for you. And then that also helps me know who is leaving when.
Unplugged Ceremony Expectations
SPEAKER_01Yep. I totally agree. Um, okay, next one is an unplugged ceremony announcement. Um, if you're wanting to do an unplugged ceremony or guests don't hold their phones up during the aisle as you walk down, you need to tell people ahead of time. Um, so you can either put it on your wedding website in your invitation. Um, a lot of people either just have your officiant announce it before the ceremony. Um, I think the unplug ceremony signs have become really big right next to, you know, the chairs, or as people are walking in saying, you know, hey, no phones, please. That's why we hired people here to do the job for us. Correct. And there's plenty. I think like the ceremony is the one spot where it makes it really hard to edit out people, or like if you're walking down the aisle, like they're gonna be in there. So just like keep if you want to take photos, keep it for cocktail or in reception and all the other parts. So it's not the only part of the wedding where you can capture stuff with your phone.
SPEAKER_02Yep. So I've said it before and I will say it again. I get so irritated if I get on social media and I see people's phone photos from a wedding that they've attended, and they're clearly sitting there taking pictures of them down the aisle. I'm like, you actually give me the ick. Yeah. And I do not like you.
SPEAKER_01I agree. Like, especially like if there's one point like where you should not have your phone pulled out, is as the bridal party, everyone, the bride is walking down the aisle because those pictures are like they're they're snapping. There's the videographer, those are the special moments. Like, not say you should do it, but like wait till they're at the front of the aisle and everything's going on if you want to snag a quick picture. Otherwise, you're going to ruin the photo and video that they're paying thousands of dollars for.
Comfortable Shoes And Flip-Flop Debate
SPEAKER_02Exactly. So, um, next one comfortable shoes. Man, we have been on a shoe, a tangent. We're just on a shoe game.
SPEAKER_00Get good shoes and don't forget your shoes.
SPEAKER_02Yes, take your damn shoes.
SPEAKER_00One thing you take from this episode, it's just don't forget the shoes. Don't forget the shoes and have comfy shoes.
SPEAKER_02Correct. So, exactly. We cannot tell you how many brides change into sneakers halfway through the reception. You can get really, really cute shoes to change into. I have seen the vans, I have seen the Converse. We've seen the case.
SPEAKER_01I did the custom Nike Air Forces. Yes. And they were a hit and I loved them.
SPEAKER_02Yes, and that is okay. But make sure you remember the shoes. So you'll be on your feet for 10 plus hours. Bring that second pair of shoes so you are comfortable. And honestly, it will be one of the best decisions that you can make because if my feet hurt, I am very angry.
SPEAKER_01And I have to go. Remember last year when we were at Arizona Bride and we were gonna stay to dance for a little bit, but I was like, my feet are hurting so bad from my heels. I was like, we have to go.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and I was on the dance floor and he couldn't. Because he was like, I don't care. Yeah. Grace pulled me off the dance. I know.
SPEAKER_01I this year I I've learned my lesson. I will be wearing very comfortable shoes this year. But yeah, definitely I every single, I swear, every single wedding that I've been to, the bride has different shoes during the reception. There's just no way the heels are not comfortable. If you think heels are comfortable, I don't know what you're on, but I have a random question for you.
SPEAKER_02I saw it on social media. Um, it was the debate of the basket of flip flops next to the DJ. So, girl, like, is that tacky? Or is that cute?
SPEAKER_01I think it's kind of tacky. But also, too, I just like don't know how you could logically buy them like with people having different shoe size. Like there's no like one size fits all for like a shoe. So I'm just like, why are you spending money on that when there's like how many people are actually gonna be able to wear them?
SPEAKER_02And then what are you gonna do with 50 pairs of flip-flops? Size 11 to 12. That's what I'm saying. Flip-flops in your closet.
SPEAKER_01Cause I feel like I see most of the time guests they just take their shoes off. If they're the the women, obviously, let's be real, not the men are can dance all night in their shoes. Um, just take their shoes off. I mean, I've done it too at weddings because I've had heels and I'm just like over it, but I think I'm gonna invest in there's like this the like foldable ballet flats. Yes. I think I'm gonna buy those for when I go to like weddings or events so that way I can still have a semi-decent looking shoe on because I do kind of get the ick like when my feet are on the ground. Um, so I think I'm gonna invest in some of those because it still looks nice, but like your feet can just take a breather. Correct.
SPEAKER_02So yeah, I think that the basket of shoes are starting to give me the ick.
SPEAKER_01I really don't like those. Just the the in the nicest way possible.
SPEAKER_02Well, you have like this really nice, elegant wedding, and it's beautiful, and you have candlelight and you have these gorgeous florals, and everybody's dressed up to the 10. And there's an old navy flip. There's like a basket of dollar old navy flip-flops sitting in the corner because you didn't plan well. I always have an extra pair of shoes. I mean, let's be honest, I have like half a wardrobe in my car. Literally, yeah. So I have so many clothes living in my car. It drives my husband absolutely insane. It drives him nuts. He doesn't understand how many like personalities I go through in a day. But I have winter jackets and I have light jackets and I have extra changes.
SPEAKER_01You never know what the weather is gonna be. Once it's like, and it's hard for us in Arizona, like when it's summer, like it's summer, so you always know it's gonna be hot. But once it's like in our winter, like fall season, it's so bipolar. Correct. It's like, oh, it's freezing in the morning, but then by lunchtime, it's 85. So that's why we have a whole wardrobe.
SPEAKER_02And this in this week, let's be honest, it jumped from it was between 51 degrees, and I think the high this week is like 92.
SPEAKER_01Literally. Next week it's like 102.
SPEAKER_02Correct. So, like with that, I need to have extra shoes. Who knows? And the other thing is, bless my husband's heart. But when I leave the house, I never know when I'm coming back home because we might just get an itch to leave lunch and go shopping, and before we know it, we're at an event. We're doing something.
SPEAKER_01So we're booked and busy. Correct.
SPEAKER_02So thank you for answering my question on the flip-flops because I don't know if I can do that.
Schedule Time Alone Together
SPEAKER_01I'm gonna have to give those a I'm gonna get it. Yeah, it's gonna be a hard pass for me too. Okay, our last tip is time alone together. So this has to probably be one of the most important ones. Wedding days go by so incredibly fast between um, you know, photos, guests, ceremony, reception. You barely get a moment alone together, though you're with your partner all night. Um, always recommend, I would recommend scheduling 10 to 15 minutes alone after the ceremony or during sunset photos, just to breathe and soak in the moment that you're officially married.
SPEAKER_02I love that.
SPEAKER_01I love this. Yeah. I think I've I've seen couples do this. I liked how I did it at my wedding. We had the ceremony and then we went and did private vows and our like in the bridal suite. So it's like we had that moment together, and then it was like five more minutes of like after we did that, just to soak it up, enjoy it, freshen up, put lipstick back on, you know. So I think if you can't, like, I feel like sometimes couples might get like, oh my god, it's gonna take out the timeline. It's 15 minutes. Like, you are not even gonna realize that it's gone by.
SPEAKER_02So I agree.
SPEAKER_01I know.
Wrap-Up And Where To Follow
SPEAKER_02So those are your 10 things brides always forget to plan. They can make a huge difference on your wedding day. Yes. If you're currently planning your wedding, we hope that this helps you think about some of the little details that can make the day smoother. So if you enjoyed this episode, make sure to follow along because next week we're sharing some really exciting things. You know what? We have some big guests coming on here in the future. So make sure you check it out. You can find us on Instagram and TikTok. We are also over on YouTube if you want to watch these episodes with our faces in a guest.
SPEAKER_00I mean, who doesn't?
SPEAKER_02Uh yeah. So thank you so much, and we will see you next time. Bye.