Wedding Hive Podcast
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Wedding Hive Podcast
058 - Venue Shopping Made Simple
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We break down venue shopping into a clear process that helps us avoid decision fatigue and choose a space that actually fits our budget, guest count, and priorities. Tomas joins us to share a “king’s perspective” on what matters most, plus what guests truly remember long after the wedding day.
•Setting the foundation with budget, guest count, date, season, style, and top priorities
•Sending a detailed pre-tour email to quickly weed out bad fits
•Key questions on pricing, fees, access times, inclusions, and outside costs
•Vendor rules, preferred lists, and why certificates of insurance matter
•Touring tips: staff vibe, cleanliness, organization, and walking the day like a timeline
•Tour red flags: constant add-on costs, unclear answers, pressure to book, messy communication
•Guest experience lessons: ceremony flow, written vows, and why dress code clarity matters
•Bar policies, venue restrictions, and planning for real-world guest behavior
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Courthouse Wedding Story And Laughs
SPEAKER_00Hey, queens and kings. Welcome to today's episode of the Wedding Hive Podcast. I am Kelsey, your host, and today I have a very special plus one joining me. Ta-da-da! My plus one, also known as my baby daddy and my husband. So, Tomas, thank you for coming on the podcast today.
SPEAKER_01Of course.
SPEAKER_00So, today we are going to be talking about venue shopping, and I'm really excited to bring you on this episode because I want you to give the male's perspective, the man's perspective, or as you said, the king's perspective on venue shopping. So before we dive into today's episode, can you tell our friends, the Queens, how was venue shopping for us?
SPEAKER_01It was easy and fast. It was a courthouse.
SPEAKER_00Um, how quickly between us deciding we because can we just be honest with the girlies? We you didn't get down on one knee and propose to me.
SPEAKER_01I did not.
SPEAKER_00Who proposed?
SPEAKER_01I don't think either of us proposed. Maybe it was just uh, hey, let's go get married.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, but who said that?
SPEAKER_01You did.
SPEAKER_00I did say that. I said that. I was like, uh I ain't even gonna deny it. I did say it, and you were dumb enough to say yes. So we uh what I think we got our marriage license, if I remember this correctly, because it's been almost 14 years. We got our marriage license, I want to say on a Wednesday, and we didn't meet the cutoff time to like have the ceremony or like meet with the judge, and we were supposed to go back the next day, but we both worked the next day and we couldn't, so we went back on Friday.
SPEAKER_01Yep, yep.
SPEAKER_00Is that yep? We went back on Friday and we didn't tell anybody. We secretly snuck to the courthouse with our marriage license. Why are you laughing?
SPEAKER_01Because when you said we didn't tell anybody, we did tell Carlos, and I think her name was Maria, who we paid ten dollars to be our witnesses, each ten dollars each.
SPEAKER_00Yes, and they could have gone home on a Friday afternoon, but they raised their hand in the cubicle and said, We'll be their witnesses, and they took horrible photos, like they did. Our pictures look terrible from our quote unquote wedding. Yeah, they're blur-I mean, come on, granted, it was 2012, so it's not like iPhones had like that much going for them, right? But we have four photos from our wedding, it is in one collage. The shirt you wore, I absolutely hate.
SPEAKER_01You did? I don't have it anymore.
SPEAKER_00Thank God.
SPEAKER_01It's in the trash.
SPEAKER_00And the beautiful white shirt that I wore.
SPEAKER_01I hated that shirt.
SPEAKER_00You sure hated that shirt. I thought it was so cute. It was ruffling, it was pretty.
SPEAKER_01Isn't that crazy that we both hated each other shirts? Like we never said anything.
SPEAKER_00It took us years before we admitted, like, I hated that shirt that you wore.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you admitted it first, and it took me months.
SPEAKER_00You looked grande.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Well, that's that's yeah.
SPEAKER_00Are you gonna say I looked fat in that?
SPEAKER_01No, the shirt was just no, it is not at all. It's just the shirt was just, I don't know. It it was not your vibe. It was definitely not your vibe.
SPEAKER_00It was so okay. I'm gonna be really honest with you. I thought the shirt was very like ruffly, and then it had like the lace tie. It would have been like the perfect pregnancy shirt.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_00And I was not yet pregnant with our first together child that we found out about the following month.
SPEAKER_01Also, you realize that was my only button-up long sleeve shirt I owned at the time.
SPEAKER_00Damn, you've gone far, honey.
SPEAKER_01Like I did not have long-sleeve button-up shirts whatsoever. It was mad.
SPEAKER_00It was so ugly.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, so you that was the only And you didn't even tuck it in.
SPEAKER_00I did not tuck it in until we both looked grande on our wedding day. And for the record, neither of us were. We're actually we probably gained more now than we did the day we got married. And we looked bigger on our wedding day than we do today.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it did look bigger.
SPEAKER_00But all right, so there is an intro to our marriage. I
Why A Venue Sets The Vision
SPEAKER_00don't know what else we're supposed to say, but my sweet husband was kind enough to come on the episode to repres represent the kings. So today we're talking about all about venue shopping. Like I have said before, this is my lane. This is one of those lanes that I know very well when it comes to venues. Um, last week on our episode, we talked about the pre-planning checklist. That is the resource that you can find on our Instagram under the links. You can click pre-planning checklist. And those are all the really important conversations that you want to have as a couple prior to the planning process. Not because the planning process can be done without it. However, that builds your foundation. So you build your foundation by talking through the budget, the guest count, the date, the season, the style, the vibes. So you guys are on the same page. So when you start to roll in to make these big decisions, you have an idea of what your decisions you're making. Otherwise, you're gonna feel clueless going out into the world. So before scheduling a tour, do you know your budget, the approximate guest count? Have you identified your top three priorities? Do you know the style? Do you have an idea of the season or the date? And are you ready to book? Nothing breaks my heart more than when couples spiral through the wedding planning process because they don't have these answers. And I'm comfortable with couples not having these answers. These are conversation points of hey, let's work through these things before we move any further through the process. Otherwise, you're just gonna spiral. Now, I don't even know what other word to use besides you're going to spiral, then you're gonna feel defeated. I meet with so many couples, and you can agree with me. Um, or you can disagree with me, I guess. I'm not here to tell you how to feel, but I agree. You don't even know what I'm about to say. What am I about to say?
SPEAKER_01You have an idea.
SPEAKER_00You have an idea?
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And now I lost my train of thought because I was so focused on so many couples. I meet with so many couples that get defeated and they spend years and years engaged without planning their wedding or making any steps, not because of life or work or military or school, but because decision making can turn into decision fatigue and they don't know where to go. And that breaks my heart. So the whole purpose of this current series that we are in is to help lay the foundation, build the quote unquote house of the wedding to make it feel more comfortable, more confident, and you can actually enjoy your engagement era. So keep this in mind. Your venue isn't just a place for the gathering of your people, but this is the place where you are envisioning your wedding. So this is more than just a checklist of bringing people together. This is where those photos are gonna happen. This is where those memories are gonna be made. This is going to be the place where people talk about for years to come. These are the photos that you are going to share with your children or grandchildren one day, your loved ones. You're gonna make this your Christmas card. Um, you're gonna hang these pictures on your wall. Do we have any of our wedding pictures on our wall?
SPEAKER_01We do not.
SPEAKER_00And will we ever?
SPEAKER_01No, absolutely.
SPEAKER_00We will never, we will, I don't ever want to see that shirt again. Do you ever want to see that shirt again?
SPEAKER_01No, I'm okay. Nope.
SPEAKER_00It I donated it. So, all right, prior to touring, so before you tour, you want to save yourself time and weed out the venues that don't match what you are looking for.
Pre-Tour Email Questions That Save Time
SPEAKER_00So it is okay to send a very detailed email, not demanding, but requesting, hey, venue, can you answer these 15 to 20 questions for me? So you can say either yes, this is the venue that I'm interested in taking the next step in scheduling a tour, or nope, it didn't meet one of my guidelines. So these are those important pieces. So timing, what is your date available or your season available? What time do you have a venue access on wedding day? Your budget, what is the cost? Are taxes and fees included? What is the gratuity look like? Is there outside costs that are not included in the venue? If you're going to a venue that doesn't have an all-inclusive package, and even all inclusive packages don't have everything, it's not a one-stop shop. What does that budget look like? The guest count. When you are looking at your guest count, what is the cost per guest? Because many venues, many vendors, they want that guest count early in advance. So what happens when eight to 12 people dip out three days before your wedding, or somebody all of a sudden reaches out and goes, just kidding, I can make it to your wedding. How does the venue handle that and what does it look like? I know for us, we have attended many weddings last minute.
SPEAKER_01Yes, we have.
SPEAKER_00And I think what you told me when I asked you, like, how did they make this happen? You said they plan for 200 and they know they have like confirmed 175, but they pay for an extra 25 people.
SPEAKER_01Right. Yeah. And some cultures.
SPEAKER_00And yes, don't let me take that part out. Um, I would spiral if I didn't get that exact number, but that is where we can agree to disagree. And I'm I'm very grateful for the weddings that we have attended. Um, no, no shade to them. Um, style. What is the style that you're looking for in a venue? Are you looking for indoor? Are you looking for outdoor? Are you looking for a garden wedding? Is it modern? Do you want historical? Do you want some traditional site? Do you want something so crazy out of the blue that doesn't exist to represent you? Like, there are so many options when it comes to venues. I one thing that I appreciate and I love about living in the Phoenix metro area, and I tell couples this all the time. You can truly find any venue you could dream of besides a beach wedding. Like, we have been to some beautiful ballrooms, beautiful um resorts. We have been to indoor-outdoor venues. Like, we there are so many pretty venues in the area. You're not just stuck with one. Um, let me finish this, then I have a question for you. So, vendors, you want to find out about vendors, um, are they included or are there or do they allow outside vendors? What are their requirements for vendors? Who you are going to hate me when I say this, but most venues require vendors carry a certificate of insurance. That means that they are fully insured. If something happens on the property, the insurance will kick in. Am I an insurance expert? Absolutely not. I am not, but what I know is that is one of those requirements. Vendors have to carry event insurance. Um, that protects the vendor, it protects the venue. Um, and ultimately it ultimately it protects you. What are the rules on the preferred vendor? Do you have to work off of their preferred vendors list or are you allowed to bring in your own outside vendors? Is there a fee to it? Um, what is the food and drink situation? Do you allow food trucks or do we have to use your catering? Let's talk through the bar. Is alcohol included or are we supplying the alcohol? If we supply the alcohol, what does that process look like? So, honey, if I told you tomorrow we had to go venue shopping, what would be the first thing you would ask me?
SPEAKER_01I would
Getting Aligned On Theme And Priorities
SPEAKER_01ask, what are we looking for? What is like what is the theme that we're going with? You mentioned it said uh more of an outdoor uh city. Like what are we what are we gonna be shopping for? Like, what are we looking for?
SPEAKER_00And would you freak out if I didn't have an answer?
SPEAKER_01No, because we will figure it out together.
SPEAKER_00That's very sweet. If you got to nope, I'm not even gonna ask that. I don't want to ask what because I don't want to go down that rabbit trail. We'll go down that rabbit trail on a different episode. I mean, if you're interested in coming back, we will talk about the if we were to plan a wedding, what would it be like?
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00Because from my understanding, you've always wanted a vow renewal.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_00And from your understanding, have I wanted one?
SPEAKER_01No, I've never you've wanted a wedding.
SPEAKER_00But I've never no, yeah.
SPEAKER_01But I know you yeah, you wanted a wedding.
SPEAKER_00But that is not today's topic. So we can save that for another episode. Um, all right, so once you have gotten answers from the venue, then that is where you can start to look at those top three priorities. You can look through your budget, you can look at their answers, and if they pass the vibe check, then you can schedule a tour. Tomas, what do you think guys care about when they hear venue shopping? I have no idea what they think their thoughts are when they go venue shopping? Or like their fiance like here's the ten venues that we're gonna see, or the two venues that we're gonna see. What do you think, like you could speak for from a man's perspective?
SPEAKER_01Uh I don't know. I feel like I am we're I I believe we're all different. As men. King Us kings are kings of our own castle. Very different. Me personally would I I think I would make it a lot about you. Like, yes, I I believe that I would I would want certain things in this venue for myself. You you know that I I I I've always said I I believe that brides are the ones that have the the most like this. Input right, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. That's very kind of you though to say. What do you what do I think grooms what do I think the guys care about?
SPEAKER_01You see out there.
SPEAKER_00Um you know it really varies. It's a lot easier for me to read a bride than it is a groom. Sometimes I get very standoffish grooms um who are annoyed that they're there. I mean, please guys, just do me a solid and act like you want to be there for five minutes because when they act like they don't.
SPEAKER_01Have you ever had a groom? They is just like, yeah, sure, whatever, whatever she wants. Yes. That would be me.
SPEAKER_00That would be you. Yeah. Yes, I have had a lot of grooms, like, and they're like, just tell me when to show up. Um, and that's totally fine. I accept that as an answer. I'm like, buddy, I promise, like, we got this, you're the best. Um, it's the ones that come in that are just like so grumpy. I'm like, why are like, do you guys do you want to marry her? Like, do you even like her? Did she force you to marry him? Like I made my husband marry me. Like, right, seriously. Um, I do think the guys care about the cost. I think they care about the logistics. Um, they care about keeping their brides happy. So once um the venue has passed that initial vibe check, you've either had a phone call with the venue or you have had an email answer and you feel really confident with it, then that is when you are going to move into the touring stage.
What To Watch For On Tours
SPEAKER_00So you are going to get on site and you are going to have a very clear understanding of what the venue has to offer. You know what the pricing breakdown is, you know what their guest count is, you know what their weather contingency plans are as an outdoor venue. Um, if it's an indoor venue, you don't got to worry about weather. You understand what their parking situation is like. Um, but these are the things that you want to watch for. You want to keep an eye to see is the staff friendly? Is the property clean? Um, do they feel, does it feel cared for? Does the property feel like it's actually well managed and cared for? Or is it just another space? Did the staff seem confident in answering the questions and were they organized? Those are the things that are going to really help solidify. Um, and then you're going to ask your fiance, can you see us getting married here? Um before you leave for the, before you leave your tour, you want to ask if you can walk around the space separately with your fiance. See if they will dismiss you and just let you look around. This is your chance to be able to see the space together freely and talk through these pieces. What did you love? What are your concerns? Does it fit your priorities? Can you see yourselves getting married in this space? Usually that will also prompt some more questions. Then you can go back to the staff member that gave you the tour and say, hey, we came up with these few questions, but really try to imagine your wedding from walkthrough of what do guests experience when they enter the walk welcome space and what does ceremony look like? And now we're entering into cocktail hour. And then walking into reception, you want to view it not only as bride and groom, but you also want to view it as what your guests will see this as for their experience as well. I completely understand it is not all about guests, it is not all about guest experience, but you want to look at it through both of those lenses. So, babe, what would instantly make you not like a venue?
SPEAKER_01Me personally, I would say the way the stuff would treat me or treat us.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Like the vibe of the stuff means a lot.
SPEAKER_00So like if they're not friendly, or they're like annoyed that you're there.
SPEAKER_01Annoyed or they're not friendly, or they're you know, down talking the venue that I'm I'm looking at. Like, hey, I came here to look at your venue, but if you're like eh, this is not really the the place, like you know, yeah. So I think I think uh the stuff speaks a lot like like speaks yeah.
SPEAKER_00No, I can agree.
Red Flags Hidden Costs And Pressure
SPEAKER_00Um, so these are some of the red flags to watch for in your tours. Um, one, everything is an extra cost. How much is or you know, is this included? Nope, that's an extra extra cost. Before you know it, everything is going to start adding up very, very quickly. Um, if the staff member has no clear answer, it is one thing to not have the answer to everything. It is okay for them to say, let me get back to you on that question. But if they are constantly not having an answer, they're beating around the bush, they're trying to divert the conversation somewhere else, you didn't get a clear answer. Just tell me what the answer is. Um, if there is a pressure to book, that is just, I mean, come on, none of us like car salesmen, and I'm not hating on the car sales. Why are you laughing at me? I don't know how many of my grooms are car salesmen or the kings are car salesmen.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_00But we you hate getting pressured into buying anything.
SPEAKER_01Oh, yeah, that's yeah, that's understandable.
SPEAKER_00Like you don't understand. You don't want the pressure. Um, if they make promises that aren't written down, or if there is disorganized communication, if there is disorganized communication from the beginning, you will experience that the entire wedding planning process.
Guest Experience Dress Code And Drinks
SPEAKER_00So you know what you were signing up for when you start the process with how organized their communication is. So, um, babe, I have a few like random rapid fire questions for you. So you don't have to rapid answer them. That's not what I mean. But I have a list of questions from the guest experience side because as of now, we have completed the touring process. My friends, the queens, they have left the venues. Um, and now they are getting ready to sit down and make decisions. We have talked through the uh pre-tour conversations, things to look for at the tour, the red flags. So let's talk about us as a guest because we have attended so many weddings.
SPEAKER_01We have.
SPEAKER_00So, honey, what do guests actually remember? What do guests remember from weddings? What do you remember as a guest?
SPEAKER_01Oh, that was that's a tough one. I I remember a good time. Yeah and I also I do pay attention to the weddings that I've been uh the ceremony. I do like a good ceremony.
SPEAKER_00Like, do you like the like you like the flow of it or you like the vows?
SPEAKER_01Do you like the vows because it's till death do us part? Well the vows when they have written vows and when they're like like when you see the love of love of the couple. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Because I feel like the king's true feeling, the true Like the love comes out of them and in in that moment. And then after that it's just party at us.
SPEAKER_00Let's go. Um I love that. So what okay, what is your wedding pet peeve?
SPEAKER_01Not having uh uh what do you call it? Not having uh I forgot the drinks? No, no. Not having drinks. I'll make sure I have drinks. I'll I'll make sure I'll when they don't give you a uh uh like uh como se dice yeah como se dice uh like como se dice uh dress code yeah dress code hey our delegals coming down yeah no but yeah when when you don't have a dress code especially me this king if I don't have a a dress code of like what am I wearing and you know this I do know like hey babe what do I wear I was tripping what to wear early for today's episode yes I was like I don't care just don't show up on my podcast naked like put on clothes babe exactly so so that is because there was a wedding and I don't know if you recall it where it looked like a rainbow out there we were just and then I was even I wasn't upset but I was like hey I could have came in shorts and flip-flops and we were dressed up really nice yes dressed to the nine exactly yeah I I'm gonna have to piggyback off you and say one of my biggest pet peeves is not knowing the dress code it just makes it so hard as a guest to not know what I'm supposed to wear like we're invited to a wedding oh we are and there's not a dress code and I'm gonna have to text the bride and be like what am I supposed to wear to your wedding and I I don't want to bother the bride I don't want to bug her I know she has a million things going on but I'm also not gonna show up underdressed and I've recently showed up at a wedding overdressed wear whatever you want I just uh it's just just give me a dress code yeah just tell me just like give me a style vibe I don't know give me a color palette tell me what to avoid and I can figure out what to wear um all right what is the best venue we have been to and why the best yeah the best venue I don't know if it's the if it was the best well that's the question well yeah but like the best for the ones we've experienced the one I really enjoyed and I I was it wa and this is why I say I don't know if it was the best because it wasn't like oh my god but when we were at the rooftop oh and the ocean so the view was you know being at the in the rooftop and seeing the ocean that was a good one you know the birds like that was that was nice why do you feel like that was the best venue well that's what I'm saying I don't think it was the best venue but like what were the perks like was it the views it was the view the weather was amazing the weather was amazing and it was it was uh it was it was just chill wedding it wasn't packed it wasn't yeah I I I believe parting on top of the rooftop was pretty that was lit pretty legit that was very fun um what was the worst venue you've been at and why the worst one would be how do you remember that one see look it people remember the worst more than the best that fast it wasn't I mean yeah I guess it was part it was the venue that didn't they didn't have hard alcohol and I had uh take my own alcohol in there somehow some way that is true and it was a great wedding chills they I think they had like two types of beer they I wasn't I mean I'm not really I wasn't drinking beer at the time okay so can I say that in here you can say that you yes you can be honest with the queens on the episode um the kings will understand what I'm talking about um correct and for the record um the couple did not choose to not have hard alcohol at their wedding they did not they would have chosen to have hard liquor right the venue restricted it and only would allow three two beer to be on the property right so how did you get hard liquor into a venue uh water bottles is accurate I thought oh you put me in such an awkward position to be able to um so queens and kings this is the kind of things I talk about when I say know your guests and what kind of shenanigans they're gonna pull when choosing your venue and you know what maybe do you think we would have not been invited to that wedding had they known that you're going to bring a bottle a water bottle full of liquor or do you think we still would have been invited it it was not it was not their call it was the venue it's the venue's fault yeah it was the venue's fault all right well have those conversations know your guests know your party know the vibe I don't know what else to say I it's a great wedding we did have I enjoyed it we did have a lot of fun we we had a lot of fun um and nobody went to jail nope and we had a DD yes and we had a DD yep um so there you have it I don't know what to say I don't want to be a rule breaker but they I I ain't got nothing you didn't break no rules I didn't break any rules and I sat next to you and I was like what are you gonna do when we get caught and I was like I'm gonna kick your ass but I don't want to kick your ass because I had to bring my own Red Bull oh my gosh you did yeah there were no there was no Red Bulls I I went up and I was like hey can I get a red yeah we don't have any of so you walked to the convenience store down the street do you remember that after I finished the three Red Bulls I had in the car for the record or my pocket yes you came in and you looked okay I'm trying not to I I cannot give this information away but I remember you were thinning out through the wedding and it was because your pockets were emptying from all the Red Bull and water bottles that you had in your pockets.
SPEAKER_00Yeah and I couldn't figure it out and then once I did figure it out I decided I didn't want to know and I was like please like you're don't get caught and then I was feeling like a mom and then I was feeling like a boring wife but
Venue Guide Resource And Closing
SPEAKER_00we had a freaking blast we did we had a lot we had a lot of fun and nobody has you were just looking out I was just looking out I was looking out for the venue don't pull that crap like let me be don't do that do do as I say not as he does okay many many many venues will actually shut down the event if alcohol is caught not being ran through the bartender so follow the rules have a great time deal with your rowdy guests don't get caught babe just kidding oh my don't don't get the whole podcast canceled kinks don't do nothing kings don't do dumb things all right well I think that's all I shut your boys' wedding down yeah do not shut your boys stupidity thank you say it louder for the people in the back um all right there you have it venue shopping 101 with my number one so if you are looking for the resource to go with today's episode you will actually find that in Instagram under our bio click the link and you will see the your wedding tour your wedding venue tour guide your wedding venue tour guide something like that I don't remember I don't have it written down but you can find the guide it will give you step by step it will have all of the questions it will give you notes page spot to be able to compare and contrast and really weed through venues oh my gosh I'm like eating my microphone um and until next time we will see you if you enjoyed this episode be sure to like and follow us you can find us on TikTok actually you can find me on please don't go follow my husband that would be weird queens um but you can find the wedding hive at on Instagram tick tock and YouTube be sure to leave us a comment um if you have any questions we are available in the DMs and until next time bye