Ep. 6 | Tips I Use Daily to Live a More Aligned Life

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS

In this episode, Claire shares four of her go-to daily tips for living a more aligned and empowered life. These aren’t just surface-level suggestions—they’re daily mindset shifts that can deeply transform how you show up in the world. Her tips include:

• Express Gratitude Often
  Start and end your day by acknowledging what you're grateful for. Whether it's a quiet moment in the morning or a reflection before bed, regularly expressing gratitude helps you stay present and connected to what truly matters.
• Set Boundaries That Protect Your Energy
  When you set boundaries, you reclaim your energy and create space for clarity, purpose, and joy. It's not about pushing people away—it's about honoring your needs so you can fully show up for what lights you up.
• Let Go of the Need to Control Others
  You can’t stop people from saying or doing things you disagree with—but you can stop giving them power over your peace. Trying to control others only drains you. Instead, focus on showing up as your authentic self and let the rest fall away.
• Turn Inward and Do the Inner Work
  True alignment comes from within. Stop looking for external fixes and start listening to the parts of you that are calling to be healed. Your inner self already knows the way—your job is to tune in and do the work.

Want to learn more? Visit www.clairekellems.com or send an email to  theultralignedpodcast@gmail.com. 

You can follow along on Instagram @clairekellems_.

Transcript

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When you let go of that control and when you allow yourself to be who you authentically want to be and show up for yourself, your whole. Perspective on life changes your whole life changes but it changes in a good way. It allows you to feel more confident, to feel more empowered, to feel more lit up by the things that light you up. And it allows you to then go out into the world with that energy and that empowerment and share it with others. What if I told you that you have extraordinary one of a kind gifts just waiting to be uncovered? I'm Claire Kellems, psychic Medium intuitive Guide and Animal Communicator, and I'm here to share my personal journey of spiritual growth and healing in the hope that my true lived experiences will ignite something inside you. Empowering you to embrace your truest, most aligned self. In this podcast, we'll dive deep into all things. Spiritual development, manifestation, breaking generational cycles, aligning your life with limitless abundance and so much more. I am beyond excited to go on this transformative journey with you and witness your growth as you expand into the person you were always destined to be. I wasn't put on this earth to play small, and neither were you. Are you ready? Let's get aligned. Hello everyone. Welcome back. I hope everyone is just having an amazing day. As usual, it's been a little while since I've been on here. I have been working through a few things in my life, trying to navigate a few things, trying to figure out what I wanna do. So there's just been a lot of. Personal development going on. So I wanted to hop on here though because I wanted to share a few tips and tricks that I use in my life daily or most daily to feel more aligned and to stay more aligned in my life. So. I feel that it is my purpose in this lifetime. It is my life path, I guess you can say, to help others feel more aligned and feel more empowered in their life. So I wanted to start sharing a few things that I use in my life daily to help me feel more aligned in the hopes that it might help someone who is listening feel more aligned and to help them kind of navigate the highs and lows of life and how to. better navigate those experiences. So I am gonna share four tips today that I use. These are just some of the ones that I use, but these are some of the ones that I feel are, are more, so more of the ones that I used. So yeah. Okay. Let's go ahead and dive into it and we'll get started. So the first tip that I use daily, and I really do use this one daily. This is probably one of the more important ones of the tips that I'm gonna give you, and that is expressing gratitude. I cannot. Tell you how important this is for so many reasons. So I'm gonna give you a little, a little back, a little science here. There is something in your brain called the RAS, the reticular activating system, and what the RAS is, the RAS. What that is, is like a filtration system, essentially between the conscious mind and the subconscious mind. So your conscious mind. Is responsible for 5% of your daily thoughts. Think about that. 5% of your daily thoughts are from your, from your conscious mind. Your subconscious mind is responsible for the other 95% of the thoughts that you have, and you have something like 60,000 thoughts a day. It's crazy. So imagine if you were literally thinking 60,000 thoughts, how. Insane. You would probably be like, how insane you would probably go trying to filter out all these, all these thoughts. So that's where the RA comes in and what that is, it's their neural connections in your brain. And when the subconscious mind picks up on something that's important, it holds onto that and it starts. Firing, like essentially firing neurons when you see or when you feel those experiences that were deemed important by your subconscious mind. So if you are waking up every day and you're like, today's gonna be a bad day, I just know it, it's gonna be a bad day, I just know it. And everything bad always happens to me. It won't be a good day. Something bad's gonna happen at work, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. If you're telling yourself this constantly over and over every single day, your subconscious mind doesn't understand that that is. Not what you want to happen, essentially. So it's literally going to only show you and only filter out the things that are bad that that happened to you, that you don't wanna happen to you. And, and that's what's gonna happen. So have you ever purchased a vehicle or you've, have you ever purchased something, a shirt or something and you really like this? We're gonna use a car, for example, I have a Lincoln in Navigator. Say, you go out and you purchase a Lincoln Navigator, whatever, a black Lincoln Navigator. All of a sudden you see black Lincoln navigators freaking everywhere. Has that ever happened to you before where you've purchased something and all of a sudden you feel like everyone in the entire world, world has a black Lincoln Navigator? It's because of the, the RAS. It's because of that reticular activating system. It starts seeing in your subconscious starts firing off signals when you start seeing those things that you deemed were important or um, necessary in your life. And so that car you are firing off all those signals that, Hey, this is really important to me. I really like this car. And all of a sudden, your subconscious mind is going to start firing off signals every time you see it. So when you are telling yourself, I'm gonna have a bad day, bad things are only gonna happen. Your subconscious mind is literally going to pick up and are going to fire signals so that you only focus on the negative. So if you're expressing gratitude every single day, if you wake up every single day and you say, I'm grateful for the weather today, I'm grateful for my children, my parents, the grass, the sky, whatever it is, whatever it is that you are grateful for in your life. If you tell yourself and you repeat those things that you are grateful for every single day, it's literally going to rewire your brain into only seeing and only wanting to see and experience the things that you were grateful for in the positive. So I kid you not, this was probably one of the most important things that I used. That it did so much for me. It changed so much for me. It reduced the amount of anxiety, I mean tenfold that I was feeling. And so, for example, I'll wake up every day and I will say I'm just really thankful that I am waking up today and that my son is waking up today. I'm thankful that my husband has a good job. I'm thankful for my dog. I'm thankful for my animals. I'm thankful that my horses have a pasture to graze on it's little things. It doesn't have to be some big, grandiose, like whatever. You don't have to change your life overnight. Because hear me out, it's gonna take time. It will, it, it will take time to rewire those, those beliefs, those limited beliefs that you have had your entire life, it's gonna take time to rewire those. And so starting with expressing gratitude every day for whatever it is that you are grateful for in your life is going to do so much for you. So. Again, this is just, this is just a huge one for me, and you don't have to, you don't have to redo your whole schedule to fit this in because I know a lot of people are busy in their life and a lot of people will say, I don't have time for that. I don't have time for that. Well, one, you need to make time for yourself. You just do You matter. You matter. Probably the most important out of anyone in your life because if you don't take care of yourself first, you can't show up a hundred percent for others. So you matter first and foremost, and it matters for you to take time to develop and to work on yourself. So say you have a packed schedule, morning to night, you have nowhere to fit anything in. Take five minutes in the morning, set your alarm five minutes early before you get out of bed, and take that time. To really think of the things you're grateful for or when you're falling asleep at night. When you're closing your eyes, say, I'm really grateful that the weather was nice today. I'm really grateful that this happened to me today. Are things gonna be perfect and great and grand 24 7 365? No. That's life. That's human. That's human existence. Things happen. Bad things, scary things happen. That's, that's the human existence. It it, it is, but. Rewiring your brain to be grateful and to feel gratitude and to express gratitude. It's only gonna make you feel better in the long run. It it truly is. And so that's a big one for me. And the second tip that I use. Is setting boundaries, and this can be really scary for a lot of people. At first, it was really scary for me at first, for a lot of reasons. Mainly I thought I was gonna piss everyone off in my life and no one was ever gonna talk to me again. This didn't happen. Well, maybe for some people, but it's not as scary as it seems. Setting boundaries really truly has, has brought me so much more peace, and it has. It has helped me regulate my emotions so much more and it drew my energy back in. I didn't realize how much energy I was exerting. Just trying to please everyone. Trying to make sure everyone was living, you know, their best life, trying to make sure everyone was happy, or if someone was sad or if someone was fighting, trying to make it better, you know, whatever it was. I didn't realize how much energy I was giving away. I didn't realize how much power I was giving away. If there is something in your life that really bothers you, set a boundary. Set a boundary for it. If you have a friend that only calls you or you know, blows up your phone when something happens and they just cause your nervous system to go haywire 24 7. Set a boundary with them. Say, Hey, you know, I wanna be there for you and I will be there for you, but you have to respect my boundaries. That you can't just show up out of the blue, freak out and you know, like, unload all of this on me. And then just, and then leave, and then leave me here with all of this built up anxiety and energy, you know, whatever it is. But setting boundaries just truly is so important. I had to set a major boundary with, um, with like family members. You know, I, I told my family members that they can't just show up unannounced to my house. I don't like that for a number of reasons, simply because. Well, one, I could be in the shower or, you know, it really started when I, when I first had my son, you know, if I was, if I was breastfeeding or if I had just gotten outta the shower or whatever it was, I didn't want someone just to randomly show up at my house and be like, where's the baby? So I set a major boundary there. I think I made a lot of people mad or, you know, whatever it was, but it. It allowed me to give the energy to my son and to the, to my husband that I needed to give to them. So it saved my energy and it helped me with my family with, with Kane, with August. And so it's, it's really hard and it can make a lot of people mad. And I know you might not wanna make people mad or upset, and truthfully, they're not upset with you. Underlying, it's not you that they're upset with. They're upset with the, the fact that they're not getting what they want. And I know that's hard to hear, and if you are someone who, someone has set a boundary on you, I know that's hard to hear, but it really is. It's, it's what you need to do the most for yourself to keep yourself energetically. Aligned and to help you start to regulate your own nervous system and your own emotions, and that that's really where it started. For me. Setting boundaries was really where it started for me, that I was like, Hey, okay, I can set a boundary. The world's not gonna blow up because I set a boundary and I can take the time. That I get out of setting that boundary to really do what I wanna do or focus on the things that make me happy in this lifetime.'cause isn't that what this is all about? Like, you know, I literally refuse to believe that we all were put on this earth to do a 95 go home, go to bed, pay taxes, and die. No, I literally, there is so much more to this life than that. Not that you, you, I know you have to have a job. I know you have to have an income, but I refuse to believe that's the only reason we are here. I refuse to believe it. So why waste so much of our energy doing what other people want us to do and what makes them feel good? Why waste so much precious time and energy on that. Set a boundary. Say, Hey, I'm sorry I can't do this today. Hey, I'm sorry. No, actually I had plans to go to the movies with my friend today. I'm sorry I can't help you do this. You might piss him off. Who cares? Who cares if you're not hurting them and you're not saying bad things to them and you're not like, you are not being that person who only shows up when you need something. Set the boundary. Set the boundary, follow through with with what you, what lit you up in the original first place, and follow through with that. Do what? Do what lights you up, because that is so important to experience all that life has to offer. So I know I kinda just went on a rant there. Anyway, my next tip, and this is gonna be a big one, these are all big ones. You have to let go of the control. I know that's gonna be so hard for a lot of people to hear. It was hard for me to hear. It's, you gotta do it, you gotta let go of the control So if someone is saying something negative about you, or someone is judging you or someone is. You know, doing something you don't want them to do. I hate to break it to you, but you're not gonna change them. You literally can't. You literally can't change someone's thoughts, beliefs, actions, anything. You can't. It's their free will. You have free will. They have free will. You can't change it. You can't change them. So why exert so much energy into being so worried about what people are saying about you, what people are doing, what people are thinking, what people might think. You have to release that control. so Mel Robbins just released a book. Some of you, some of you might have heard of it. It's the Let Them Theory. I love this book for so many reasons, but it really allows you to, to let them and let go of the control. In allowing that to happen and in allowing that control to be let go of, it frees up so much energy. All of these things free up so much energy that you had no idea you were exerting. I cannot express this enough. You have no idea how much energy you are exerting trying to please people trying to. Constantly change your boss's mind, trying to constantly change an employee or a coworker or an employee's mind trying to, you know, trying to do so much that you literally don't have control over. So in the words of Mel, Robbins, let them and let me focus on myself and let me give myself the time of day that I need and that I deserve. I think this is so, so important. Now, I highly recommend you reading her book. She goes into amazing depth with this, but I can't even tell you how much relief I felt when I just let go of the control. Because I didn't realize how much, like with this podcast for example, I can't tell you how many times I was like, oh my God, what's Sue gonna think of me like when I release this podcast? Is Sue gonna think I'm fucking insane? Is Sue gonna think I'm crazy? Like, is Sue gonna, who literally cares what Sue might think? I was putting so much energy into what Sue might think of me that I was holding myself back from. From what I really wanted to do and what really lit me up, what really inspired me, what really made me feel good about myself, I was giving Sue all of my power. Sue owned me. Sue owned my life because I gave her. All of my power, all of my self worth, everything. I gave it to Sue. I said, here's Sue here. You tell me if I'm doing a good job, here's Sue. You tell me do I sound great? Do I sound this? Do I, do I look like a fool? Here's Sue. You tell me. You give it all away to other people. Why? It's literally not. It's not okay. It's not okay. Show up for yourself and show up authentically as yourself because hear me out. We're all gonna die one day. Do you wanna be 80 years old? Look back and think to yourself, damn, I really gave Sue all my power. I really wanted to do that podcast, but I was so worried about what Sue would think about me. I didn't do it. And, and, and I really wish I would've done it. I really wish I would've done the podcast, but I was so worried. What? Sue thought of me Who cares? Who literally cares? Who cares if you're doing what you love? Why does it matter? If you're not hurting anyone? Why does it matter what Sue thinks of you? Sue is a freaking blip. Like she's a drop in a bucket. That doesn't, it doesn't even, the drop doesn't even deserve to be in the bucket. Hear me out. Go on a different bucket. You literally are here for yourself. You're here to experience this life one time. Well, one time is this person, but why, why, why give away all of your power to someone else? Who, yeah. Is probably gonna be like, oh my gosh, she looks like a fool. Are you kidding me? She, she's crazy. Oh my gosh. She's doing woo woo crazy shit. Like, who literally cares? Who cares. They're gonna say it regardless. They're gonna do it regardless. You can't call Sue up and be like, Sue, I would really like you to not say that about me today. Thank you. Like Sue's not gonna give a F about what you think because she has free will too. You, when you let go of that control and when you allow yourself to be who you authentically want to be and show up for yourself, your whole. Perspective on life changes your whole life changes but it changes in a good way. It allows you to feel more confident, to feel more empowered, to feel more lit up by the things that light you up. And it allows you to then go out into the world with that energy and that empowerment and share it with others. You might not even realize that you're sharing it with others, but you showing up as your authentic self go out into the world and you are radiating so much energy off. That you are confident, that you feel empowered. You empower others, you light others up, and you give them the confidence to go and do what they want to do and what their authentic, true self calls to do. You don't realize the impact you have on other people. I didn't realize this. I had no idea. And then when I had my son. It kind of started there when I had my son, I noticed he was watching, he would watch me and you know, children watch their parents. But it was how he was, how he was mimicking the things that I do and how he was, he was watching me so closely in the things that I do then he wanted to do. And I think that translates into, into adults too, into everything. You don't realize who's watching and you don't realize. How much encouragement and empowerment you can give to someone else. You just truly don't realize it. And yeah, you might not have people knocking down your door saying, you've, you've made me feel so great. You did this, you did that. You don't have to have those people telling you you're doing a great job to be able to be affecting their life in a positive way. Lemme put it that way. You don't have to have those people telling you, you are really helping me. To know that you are empowering and you are helping them because you are. If you are showing up authentically yourself and you are doing what you love and you are, you are being who you want to be in this lifetime, you are affecting others in a positive way. Whether you realize it or not. You just are so let go of that control. Let go of the control, show up authentically as you and live your life honestly and authentically, and. And that's what you can do and that's it. It just will open up so many opportunities and so many doors for you. It just will. So, okay, last tip. And this is a big one, and this can be. Yeah, this can take a lot of people a lot of time and that's okay. I, I wanna express that too, that it is okay that it takes time. It took me a long time, my whole life to get to this point, but it took me really several years of personal development in that healing journey in general to really feel confident even saying these things. And that last tip is to look inward. And this can be hard for a lot of people, and this is where I'm going to insert that again, if you feel that you need that one-on-one intention or someone to talk to, someone to explain the things that you feel and side, I will always be a huge advocate and will always recommend a licensed professional, a therapist, a counselor, you know, whatever it is. Because they can help you so much, feel and or explain the things that you feel that you feel inside. I am incredibly, incredibly grateful for my therapist. She's an incredible human being. She gave me so many tools. I didn't realize in the moment how many tools she was giving me that I would use daily in my life. To help empower me, to help encourage me, and I use those tools daily and I'm so grateful for those op that opportunity that I had with her in that time. She, she was just incredible. She, she went to a different job, but I. She's just, she's an amazing human. She really is. And so I always recommend finding that perfect fit for you. If that's something you feel called to do and that you may feel that you might need someone to help you navigate those, those inner wounds, I highly recommend it because so often people and I, and I am guilty of this too, will look outward. To heal the things inside. So whether that's addictions, you know, alcohol use, um, drug use, a lot of times people will look outward for external help to heal the inside. And it won't work. It won't work. That inner work, that inner child, that inner shadow, that inner person that needs. That is calling for help and that is wounded and that feels scared and feels unsafe. You have to heal that inside of you and nothing in the world external is going to heal that except you. There might be things that numb it. There might be things that make it feel better for a short amount of time. But there is nothing that's gonna actually fix it and heal it until you turn inward and hold and hold that mirror up and really look at what's going on inside. And my chest is even getting a little tight saying this because I remember how scary it was in the beginning to, to do that, to look inward. And it took a long time for me to get through that, to get, and I'm not even, I, I shouldn't say through it. It took me a long time to break through that feeling of being scared, looking inward. It really did because it's scary in there. It's scary. It's scary experiencing those, those traumas, again, it's, it's scary going through that time again and there were a lot of tears. Shed, and there's a lot of emotion that you feel and there's, there's a, there's a lot and that can be scary for a lot of people, but. I truly believe that you won't feel absolutely aligned in your life until you start looking inward and you hold up that mirror. It's life changing. It really is in a lot of different ways. In a lot of people are scared of change, but the saying goes, change is the only thing constant in this lifetime. And so looking inward and really. Working on yourself and taking care of that inner child that needs, that demands to be seen, that demands to be heard, that feels scared, that feels unsafe being in your body and actually going into your body. People, I, I didn't realize this. I didn't realize how much I was living outside of my body, and I know you're like, what? What the hell does that mean? I was constantly living a life in the past or the future. I never wanted to be in the present because I didn't wanna feel the present, so I was constantly reliving my past, and when I was constantly reliving my past. I was constantly like, oh my gosh, are these patterns gonna show up again in the future? Is this gonna happen to me in the future because this happened in the past? Is this going to happen to me in the future? I was constantly living this state of anxiety that something bad was gonna happen because my subconscious, my inner child, whatever it was, was constantly in this state of fight or flight. I was just, I was scared, you know? Am I gonna be bullied again for doing this podcast because I was bullied in the past. And it took a long time to recognize that my past experiences do not define my future and they do not define me in this present day and living. In my present body and actually knowing my body and who I am. It was hard work to get here, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. And I'm not just saying, look at the scary stuff, look at the trauma. I'm saying you also have to hold up that mirror about with those qualities that you may not love about yourself and really look at those and really sit with those and think, okay, why do I feel this way? Why do I think this way? Why? You know, you know, whatever it was. I've had that, I had that experience recently where, um, I don't even remember what it was now. Gosh. I, I just had it in my brain and it just left. But where I had to hold up a mirror to myself and it wasn't fun looking in that mirror. I, I, I was, I was mad at Kane for something and I was, I don't know, we, we were fighting about something and, and he said something to me and. I realized when he said it, I was reflecting how I felt onto him, so I was saying all these things to him, but when in reality. It's how I felt about myself. And so when I held up that mirror and when I looked, when I looked at myself and I was like, oh, heavens it, it didn't feel good. It doesn't feel good sometimes when you have to, when you have to face that. That what you're reflecting onto to others. It's not fun a lot of the times and a lot of people won't do it because the discomfort is too great. And one thing that I've heard a lot of mentors say, and a lot of, a lot of people that I follow say, is get comfortable sitting in a discomfort. And that rings true for so many reasons. To be aligned and to feel aligned in your life, to feel whole in your body. You have to get comfortable feeling uncomfortable. You have to get comfortable in the discomfort. You really do. And, and again, that's really hard for a lot of people to hear, and that's really hard for a lot of people to experience. And it's different for everyone. It really is. But the only way out is through and the only way to get those breakthroughs and to blast through those breakthroughs is to get comfortable in the discomfort. And so I'm gonna leave you there. I hope you all have an amazing day. I hope you are having an amazing day. I hope your year is amazing, and I hope you realize how strong and how powerful you actually are. And I, I hope you show up. For yourself. I hope you show up a hundred percent authentically for yourself in this lifetime, and I hope I can help encourage and empower you to do it. And I hope and pray that you will do it for yourself, for yourself, for yourself, for yourself, and turn around and empower others to do the same for them, because that's. You know, isn't that what we're here for is to live a life that we love with our friends, with our family, and to share and to just spread the love and the encouragement. And the empowerment as far and wide as we can reach. So, have an amazing day. Bye guys. Did you love this episode of the Ultra Aligned Podcast? If so, I would be so incredibly grateful if you could leave a glowing review in five stars. Your support helps this podcast reach even more people who are ready to step into their light. Have questions or suggestions for topics you'd like me to dive into. I'd love to hear from you. Just shoot me an email at the Ultra Aligned podcast@gmail.com. Thanks for sharing. I love you all. I'll see you next time on the Ultra Aligned Podcast.