Ep. 12 Mediumship and the Inner Healing Journey

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS

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Description:
Intuition isn’t reserved for the chosen few—it’s a natural ability we all carry. In this heartfelt solo episode, I’m opening up about burnout, fear of judgment, and reconnecting with my spiritual gifts after a season of emotional disconnection. If you’re navigating your own spiritual path, this one’s for you.

Timestamps:
00:00 – Why this episode matters
02:31 – Signs from spirit: angel numbers + the Tower card
06:01 – Reconnecting through grounding + daily rituals
10:46 – We’re all intuitive—but paths differ
15:01 – Childhood mediumship + energy sensitivity
20:31 – Mediumship, channeling, and energetic “channels”
26:01 – Asking for help from spirit (and humans)
30:01 – Final reflections + encouragement

Listen + Subscribe:
🎧 Available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and wherever you get your podcasts.
🔗 www.clairekellems.com | Instagram: @clairekellems_

**Special shout out to Oddball Creative for the new intro + outro audio!

www.oddballcreative.agency

Transcript

0:01

Hi everyone, and welcome back to the podcast. I hope you're having an amazing day, wherever you are. I haven't actually recorded an episode in a little while. The past couple episodes I had prerecorded and I put an Instagram story out about what you guys wanted to hear next on the podcast, and with the majority said mediumship. So that's what we're gonna touch on today. Um, it's, it's been a little bit. Of a journey? I would say definitely, it's been a, definitely a journey. The past couple of weeks, I've, I've kind of been a little bit out of it, I think, um, I just haven't felt like myself really. I don't know what it, what it really is. I, I go through these cycles every year and like a couple times a year, I just feel like, I don't know, like I'm out of it or I'm just not myself. So I've kind of been in one of those cycles lately and I've really been doing a lot of work around. Who I wanna be and trying to get, gain more clarity around that. I actually, I, the other day, I see angel numbers everywhere. So like 4, 4 4 or 1, 1 1, whatever it may be. I see them everywhere. And the other day I kept seeing 5, 5, 5. If you don't know, 5, 5, 5 is the angel number for change. And I kept seeing it everywhere and I was pulling some cards for myself and I pulled the tower card. And for those of you who don't know, the tower card is. Basically saying change is coming and it's gonna knock down the foundations that aren't built on solid ground, essentially. So all those limiting beliefs, all those friendships that aren't true or whatever it may be, um, and the universe is about to, about to knock down those foundations that aren't built on solid ground. And so there's been a lot. There's just been a lot going on, a lot of change going on. Um, and like I said, I just haven't felt myself lot, a lot lately and so I haven't, um, I haven't really done much with like my mediumship and spirituality and it's honestly made me a little bit sad because it's such a big part of my life. But, you know, you get busy things happen and you kind of take a step back from it. And I didn't realize until I was kind of in the thick of it that I was like, I, I miss doing like my practices and those, those, uh, meditations or those special moments that I would take outside to myself or whatever it may be. I, I miss those little daily things that I used to do. I love going outside and I have like a, a meditation playlist of just like different like meditation music, like that you would hear, like if you were getting a massage. I don't know. But I would listen to those outside and I loved doing it and I didn't realize how much I loved doing it until. I hadn't done it in so long and I was like, I really miss that. So I really started taking time to myself, started going outside and just trying to be in nature more. And that's, that's helped quite a bit. So I feel myself like slowly coming back into it. But I will say I am someone who, when I get an idea in my head. It's all or nothing right then and there. And I think that's, I think I burnt myself out a little bit because I hyper fixated on something so hard and then all of a sudden I was like, holy cow, I have been doing this day and night and now I'm just, I'm freaking burnt out. And so that's something that I really struggle with trying to navigate and trying to balance in my life is not hyper fixating on something to the point that I burn myself out in a couple weeks. And so that's kind of where I am now, but. I'm always, I'm always evolving, we're always changing and I, I always come back to it. I just, I really am trying to figure out that balance in my life. And so that's where I'm at right now. But I wanted to hop on here because I asked you guys if you wanted to or what you guys wanted to listen to, and I didn't wanna like leave everyone hanging. So I am here. I am back and I'm recording this episode, so. Mediumship. I am gonna start by saying this. I truly believe that everyone, that we are all connected, that we are all from the same source, that we are all from the same, whatever it may be. I really feel that we are all connected and that's why, you know, when you walk up to someone and you can just tell by looking at them that they're either having a bad day or something's going on. You know, you can just tell, like you can feel their energy and I just really, really. I truly believe that we're also connected. And this is my beliefs around mediumship psychic abilities.'cause I know this is kind of controversial in this spirituality world. But I truly believe that we are all born with the same like psychic abilities. Intuitive, intuitive abilities. I think everyone's intuitive. I think everyone's psychic, and I think everyone possesses the same gifts or abilities to be a medium. However, I don't think everyone's sole purpose is to be a medium in this lifetime. I am able to be a welder. I'm sure I could do it. I, I believe I could. But my soul's purpose, my life path in this lifetime is not to be a welder. You know, this is my calling in this lifetime, and so I, I absolutely think everyone has the same abilities. I just don't think that it's everyone's life path to do the same thing in this lifetime. Could you imagine if everyone in the world was a welder, like what the hell would we even do? And so if this is something that you're really called to do or you feel really drawn to it, I would follow that. I would absolutely follow it and see where it leads, but. I don't think it's fair to say that I'm a natural born medium and you're not. I, I don't like that necessarily because I, I don't think it's true. Um, I, I think that everyone has, like I said, everyone has that ability, but I don't think it's everyone's life path or life purpose. I don't think you have to be a medium to have and to use your intuitive psychic abilities. I think everyone can develop their abilities, like their psychic abilities, and I think it's important for everyone to do. I think that would be really cool if everyone did. Um, not to like predict the future or whatever, but to, to gain more of an intuitive awareness around you. I think that's really cool and really important. But if that's not something you feel called to do, then by all means, like you don't have to do it. I just think that everyone has the ability. I just don't think it's everyone's life path, life purpose to use mediumship in your life. Now. For me, I definitely had experiences when I was little. I knew there was something going on. I knew I was different, and I hate, even hate to say the word different because it's not that I was even different, I just. I knew these things were happening and I just thought they were normal, just a normal everyday part of my life. But at some point along the way, when I was little and when I was seeing these spirits, I was getting really scared. And so I shut that part, that medium ship, seeing spirits part of me down. Um, now I could always sense them around me. I, and I could sense that they're male or female. I could sense who they were, if they were my relatives. What side of the family they were on. I will say I've had a lot more of the family members from, my maternal grandparents side come through. Not because anyone else doesn't like me or doesn't wanna help me, but I, a lot of my maternal, so my mom's grandparents. Relatives. So I don't know if there's, there could be a link on my maternal side. I don't really know, but I know there's a lot there. As a young age, I would have a lot of experiences, a lot of these strange phenomenons that would happen. I knew like when certain things would kind of happen, like when the phone ring, I would be like, oh, that's my grandma calling, or, oh, that's my mom calling. Um, those, just those little things that would happen. And then it wasn't until much later in life that I actually started really like paying attention to it. And I think when I started paying attention to it. I noticed that. Holy cow. Okay. This has been reoccurring my entire life. I just, I just didn't really pinpoint it. I can remember a specific time, um, there was a, a family friend who had lost, um, her brother and then years later had lost her father. And we were at the funeral for her father. And I remember standing there with my sister and I. I just, out of nowhere, I, I knew that this person's brother was there with her. And it was so strong and so intense that I got so overwhelmed with emotion. I had to leave. Um, and, and that's something that I have had to. Navigate is the emotion part of it. Um, and uh, and trying to separate my emotion from the emotion that I feel like how intense they come through. And I guess that the intensity is, what I'm trying to say here is, is toning down the intensity, um, of when I feel them and, and trying not to get my human side overwhelmed with the intensity of the energy that I feel so I guess a lot of it for me growing up was definitely the sensing part of it., I can remember one time in my room I woke up and the, I had like a nightlight or something in my room. I, I was probably 15 or 16, I don't know. And I saw like this black silhouette on my room, on my wall. I mean, that was the first time in a long time that I had ever seen anything. And I got scared. So I asked, a relative that had passed and, and angels and, guides to come through and protect me. And at that time, I kid you not, I saw these like white orbs, like fly through the door. Um, it was really strange. It was really strange. It was so dimly lit that you could barely see it, but I could like see them like, almost like come through the door and then that silhouette was gone. Um, and it's not that I think that the silhouette was dangerous or trying to hurt me or anything like that. Um, I just. For whatever reason it scares me. I think it's because I got scared so much as a child that I've carried that with me through life. Um, and, and now every time I sense, um, energies around me, I get really. Tight and really like nervous and scared. Um, but they're not really scary. I don't know how to, I don't know how to explain that. My human side is like, I'm scared to death, but my spiritual side is like, they're not here to hurt you. They're just here to communicate. And so it's a constant balance or like, like, um, what's the thing? Balance beam like between the two because. I wanna be scared, but I also am not scared at the same time. So I will ask, I will ask them to either like, please like show themselves in a different way or to please like leave. Leave the room.'cause I'm getting scared. Or I will like my default is to call an Archangel Michael for protection. I think it's just, I think it's just who I am that I get really. I'm a, I'm also just like a scared cat. I'm gonna be so honest. You know the movie Hocus Pocus? I love that movie. I'm freaking scared of it. I am such a scared cat sometimes. And so when people are like, oh, you like, this is like scary, like are you doing like talking to like dark entities? Hell no. Are you kidding me? I. Freaking. I think I would pass. I think I would pass away. I'd be so freaking scared. Are you kidding me? Absolutely not. I am staging my home like all the time. I'm constantly walking around my house and I'm just like, this home is full of loving positive energy. I only want positive energy around me at all times. Like, are you kidding me? No. Someone asked me the other day if I had a Ouija board and I was like, don't even say the word. Are you kidding me? I'm freaking scared. I'm freaking scared of them. So fast forward to, um, about 2016. I was actually in a relationship at the time that wasn't really that great. It wasn't a really great time for a lot of people. Um, but it was actually at that time that my mediumship abilities really like ramped up. And looking back now, I think they were doing it for protection, like for me and to help me.'cause I was really, I felt really isolated at that time. It was a really hard time, but I felt so isolated that they were actually like my loved ones. Like, like the. Spirit, I guess you could say was like the only really thing that I had at that time that I felt safe with. And so it actually, it helped honestly in the long run because I would get, you know, messages come through that something just like wasn't off and then this person come to find out was like cheating on me. And so it was. Was, it was, it was really hard at that time, but it was also so comforting to have them at that time. And that's when, like I said, it really ramped up for me. And it was around that time too that I was like, oh, okay. Like this is what's going on. All right. Like, let's see where this goes and whatever. And then I actually, I took a break from it because I, um, well, like life just happened. I left that relationship. That relationship was not Kane, just so everyone knows, I love Kane so much. So anyway, you know, life just kind of went on and I kind of put it on the back burner. Um, and I just, I didn't really think about it. I didn't really, you know, use it. I didn't really think about it. I went through schooling. I got married, I had a baby, and like I said, it was around getting married and having the baby part that it really started ramping back up again. And so. I was at a point in my life where I was like, all right, I'm gonna run with this and see where it, like, see where it goes. Because the, like, that calling was just so strong. I couldn't ignore it. And it was kind of like a, you've been playing with this for a while now. Like, like we, it's time for you to step into this. It's time for you to step into this role. And so that's kind of where, that's kind of where that development started and how I got here. So with mediumship. I know it can kind of be confusing for a lot of people unless like you're really familiar with it because there's a lot of different words you hear, you know, psychic, medium, intuitive, channeler, um, mystic, whatever it may be. And I think with mediumship, a lot of the times people get that image in their head of that woman, like with the crystal ball And I really don't resonate with that, like at all. I know some people do, and that's totally fine. Um, but I don't want people to think Like that's only what it is. I think it's really, you know, it's honestly, it's just such a natural thing. I don't think people realize how natural it actually is. And so I am someone who, I just like to integrate it into my life. In a way that feels natural and most authentic, I guess is what I'm trying to say. And so what mediumship essentially is for me is talking to loved ones or past relatives that I, that I've passed or that are on the other side. I actually feel that I am someone who is more of a channeler, and I know that can also kind of sound like a scary word. However, I really think that it's just, it's just that state that I get into when I am communicating, and it's also how I connect to your energy. So when I'm in a reading and when I'm sitting here, I really set the intention on. What the sitter is there for today. Um, and I will either, I'll get this poll to either go right, which is mediumship side. Um, and if I, I feel the poll to go towards you. That's more of that like psychic intuitive sense that's coming through that, more of that like that channeling. And now it's not only mediumship on my right side, I will channel a lot of spirit guides or you know, divine beings or whatever it may be. And a lot of the time, if I'm being completely honest with you guys, a lot of the time I say like they or we when I'm in that channeling state, and it's because there's so many. There's so many beings, so many people, so many loved ones, so many guides, angels, there's so many energies around you, like at all times. It's really, it's not ever just like one thing. And so I will say they or we a lot because you have a whole team. Of, of energy behind you at all time. There's, there's a whole team of people here, and so when I'm talking, I'll know I have like grandfather or mother or sister or brother or cousin, whatever, but. I also know there is a vast amount of beings and energies and ancestors behind you and behind them it's just the strongest link. The strongest communicator is the one that steps forward. And actually a lot of the times when they are showing me as like if the sitter is needing a lot of support in that moment, they will actually show me. As like a line of people or a crowd of people behind this person, and that's them saying like, we're here, we're supporting them. Like let them know we are here for them. And they're helping you find your way, and they really, this is something that kind of comes through right now. They really want you to call on them and ask them for help. Don't be afraid to ask loved ones, and if this isn't something that resonates with you, like the guides or angels or like ascended masters, that's okay. Ask your loved ones who have passed for help. Don't be afraid to ask them for help and help guiding you because they can drop in with little signs here and there that can help you lead, you know, find your path or lead you in the direction that you're trying to go in. Don't be afraid to ask for help because you have free will here on this earth, and so they can't interfere with you until you ask them for help. And so it's really important to. To really lean on them. If you need, if you feel you need to, it's okay to, it's okay to admit that you need help. And this is also for, you know, humans too, like human to human. If you are someone who needs help or you feel like you need support or connection or community, don't be afraid to reach out to someone for, for what you need. Um, I, I'm someone who I don't, I feel like I'm a burden sometimes. I don't like to reach out for help a lot of the times. I'm also just someone who is strong headed. And I, I am just an independent girly until I'm not, but I really struggle sometimes with reaching out for help or, or community. And it wasn't until I found, um, the Spirit School community, um, Danielle Rin, she's a medium in Squamish, um, in Canada. And I found her community. And it wasn't until I found that community that I felt like I actually really belonged somewhere. And it helped to build my confidence and it helped to build, um, this connection I had with people. And I've met so many amazing people through there. It's really incredible. And so. I think the whole point of all of this essentially is to say you're never really alone. They're always with you and they, they are there to help you, but you have to ask them for help. And that's really important for me to say. So if you are someone who you're wanting to develop your mediumship abilities, or maybe you're just interested in learning more about it, I always recommend reaching out to a mentor or someone you can trust, someone you know who can help guide you on the way. I'm just gonna say there's a lot of people on the internet who are claiming to be some guru, whatever, and they're gonna ask you for thousands of dollars to mentor you and I just. I just feel like there's more authentic people out there and it can be really hard to find someone. Who you know is who's truthful, who is authentic, and who is honest. And so if you are someone who is searching for a mentor, you can reach out to me. I don't actually mentor right now in this moment, but I'm happy to help you find someone or to help guide you to, to someone who is a mentor, who actually is authentic and ethical and integral and wants to help you to the best of your ability. Um, but I really think. If you are, if you're not wanting to put the money into it, if you're just wanting to learn more about it, I think podcasts are a great way I this podcast or or other podcasts, whatever resonates with you. I think podcasts are a really incredible tool. It's the tool that I used when I was developing. I would listen to podcasts constantly about mediumship, and it helped me. Understand, like what, what really goes into it and what really is behind it. I mentioned before that if you're wanting to develop. Or strengthen your abilities. I really like Oracle or tarot cards and really just setting with yourself and setting it with yourself outside in nature or, um, wherever you're most comfortable. I'm gonna be honest. You're gonna have to, you're gonna have to sit with yourself in either silence or with like meditation, music, but you have to be present in your body. This is something that I didn't. Realize in the beginning that I wasn't in my present body, and I'll kind of explain what that means. I was always someone who was so focused on my past or what happened to me in my past, or, you know, um, things that I went through, whatever it may be, whether that could be past lives or this lifetime. Or I was stuck in my future of where I wanted to be, why I wasn't there, how I wanted to live my life, but I, but I wasn't living the life I wanted to in this current moment. So I was always kind of stuck in the future and was, you know, living in how my future self lived. And that didn't resonate with how my present self lived. And so I didn't realize that I was so out of my present body. But I didn't even know how to be in my present body, and it wasn't until I actually had a session with an energy healer that I realized. Holy cow. I'm not at all in my present body. I, I didn't even know how my present body felt. I was, I was, I'm someone who was so focused on the past, um, and past traumas, whatever it may be, that I, I had no idea what it meant to feel present in my body. And I, I had a session with her. And I did a lot of inner work after that session. And I mean, a lot of inner work, I would, I would go to bed at night, I would lay in bed and I would just cry. I would cry. I would cry. I would cry because I would have all these past experiences coming up. It was, it. A lot. It was a lot to go through and I absolutely recommend gaining or or seeking professional help during this time if that's something that you feel called to go through, because it can be very intense. And even though I. Love to hold space for people. I'm, I'm not a professional, a licensed professional, and so I don't wanna claim to be, and I want you to know that if you need that additional support, I absolutely think you should reach out. But anyway, so I went through a lot of inner work I honest honestly how I did it. When I would have an experience come up, and I want you to know when I say this, it took a lot for me to get here. It it, this wasn't just something that I was like, oh, okay, we're gonna do heal this now. No, no, no. It took a lot, I a lot of therapy. It took a lot. But when I would have an experience come up, a past trauma come up instead of. Shoving it completely away, like turning it off like, Nope, go, go away. Go away. I don't wanna think about that. When it would come up, it was coming up for a reason, and this is for me to tell you when it's coming up, it's coming up for a reason and it's because it wants to be cleared and it wants to be healed. So when I would have experiences come up, I would sit down and I would sit with that experience. And I would almost analyze it in a way, and I would picture myself in this present body sitting with the past version of me and talking to myself and talking myself through that experience and explaining. What was happening almost to my younger self and that experience and, and really letting myself know that I was there with that, with that version of me, I was sitting with her. I was, I was with her, I was holding her hand through it. She didn't have to go through it alone. And I would, I would do that until I could replay that experience and I didn't have the same emotions connected to it. I wouldn't be where I wa where I am today if I hadn't have gone through those experiences and really did that inner work. Sometimes I can't even believe it because of how. Different. It is from where I was years ago, five years ago, 10 years ago, whatever it may be. Uh, how, how much I have changed and how much I have evolved into a more like emotionally mature person. It's, it's incredible. And I am so thankful that I went through all of this so I could be that person for my son, for, for Kane, for my sister, for whomever I am. I'm thankful for that experience. It was, um. It was tough. It was tough. I'm not gonna lie to you. And I think it's a fair trigger warning to tell you that if you are someone who is wanting to go on this spiritual development path, you, you are going to be forced to do some healing work. And I just like, for one of forewarn, you, you will go through it. I had a mentor tell me that one time and I was like, nah, I don't know about that. I don't, I don't have to do that. Mm-hmm. It's gonna come up. It'll come up. And so. Just forewarning. If you feel like you are not ready for that right now, then don't, force yourself into it and don't feel like you have to take this journey on at this exact moment. Like I said in the beginning, just take baby steps to get here. It's not a race. It's not, there isn't some in destination that we're, that we're trying to get to. We're all gonna return home to the same place one day. And I think that's something that I personally have gotten hung up on is. Getting to that end result when there was never an end result to get to. So I was just running on a hamster wheel and it was so frustrating and freaking exhausting. And it wasn't until I stepped off that hamster wheel and realized that I was just running circles around my own life that I realized, okay, the actual purpose of this life is to, is to live this life and live it to the fullest and not have to take. All of this past baggage with you through life and through generations to come. And so I, I know I kind of got off the like mediumship topic there, but that was, that was something that felt important for me to say. But again, mediumship isn't. Some weird voodoo, crazy like whatever. It's so natural and it's so, it's in all of us already and I think that a lot of people just have that part of themselves shut off. And that's okay if you do. You don't have to turn it on. You don't have to, you don't have to tackle this if you don't want to. A lot of people will open themselves up to like this spiritual journey just to heal themselves and to feel more whole in their lives. So something I have actually felt more called to do here recently is to work more with my ancestors and more of my past loved ones, um, and healing that ancestral line. I've been pulling a card. I've pulled it so many times. It's like basically slapping me in the face at this point. But it's literally, the card literally says like, ancestral healing. And so I've been, felt really called to, to work with my ancestors and so that's really something that's new for me right now is, is finding more energy to work with. I, for the longest time thought medium ship came from one singular source, like there was just one distinct channel. And I realized,'cause I've explained this before, as like the radio with the frequency, like tuning to different radio stations, turning up and down the volume. I've actually sat with this a little bit and I've wondered if it's more like a walkie talkie. And I, I'm really doing great with like the metaphors here. You know how on a walkie talkie, like you turn the channel, like, and if you're not, like if you have a walkie talkie and your friend has a walkie talkie, and if I'm on channel one and she's on channel two, you guys can't communicate until you're on the same channel. And so I always thought there was only one channel, like one singular. Direct link, but I'm actually, as I'm developing more and more, I'm actually, I think there's more channels for me. It's who I'm connecting with and what channel we're on, and so I'm trying to navigate that right now and what that means for me, I think like for me, like guides are on one channel. Loved ones are on another channel, and I think my ancestors are on another channel. And when I'm reading for you or the sitter, like when I'm connecting with their energy, that's another channel. And so I'm actually coming to find out that there's more things here going on than I realized. And I think that's part of my development journey is, is figuring it out for myself and what works for me and what it means for me. I've really struggled with, this is kind of going back to, um, like the past couple of weeks when I haven't really felt like myself. I am someone who is really scared to share my thoughts and beliefs because I don't want to be judged or I don't wanna say the wrong thing and offend someone God, like, God forbid I would ever offend someone. I struggle with sharing my own I beliefs around things because I don't wanna be judged. So if I share something that I know to be. True from someone else or resonated with me from someone else that feel that felt safe. It's not that I was like not sharing my information or my beliefs, um, but it felt safe to share what I had learned from someone else. But this past couple of weeks, I really tried to sit with and get clear on what it means for me. And when I decided that a lot more started opening up for me and I realized that I was focus focusing singularly on what I have been told. By other mediums, how they work instead of actually sitting with myself and figuring out how it works for me. And come to find out, I think there's a lot more channels than I realize, and I think that there's a lot more that I haven't tapped into. I mean, there's always gonna be more that I haven't, we're always gonna be learning and evolving. And I've heard this said before and I absolutely resonate with it. You know, the day that I stop learning and healing is the day that I return home and I'm no longer living on this earth. I think we're ever evolving and ever changing, and I think it's so important to always keep that. I could always learn more mindset about you because there is always more to learn. And so it's really interesting to see. These different channels opening up for me, and I'm really excited to see where this goes. So I'm happy to share with you when I, when I get there, and when I figure out where it goes, if I ever figure it out. But, all right, well, I'm gonna hop off here because the sky is looking like it's about to storm. I don't wanna lose power. I would be, I think I would cry if I lost power and like lost this recording. So before that happens, I'm gonna be proactive and close out this episode. So thank you again for just being here and just following along. You know, whoever is listening to this, I truly appreciate it. I know this is kind of like my. Online virtual diary, I guess more or less. But I hope whoever you are, wherever you are, if you're listening to this years from now, I am just thankful for you for listening, and I'm thankful. I hope I can help you in any way. I hope I can encourage you and empower you in any way, that's really my goal here. So with that being said, I'm hopping off. And in case no one has told you today, I love you and I will see you on the next episode.