Ep. 13 Burnout, Anxiety, and Listening to Your Body + Intuition

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS

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What happens when the universe forces you to finally slow down and listen? In this episode, I open up about a cascade of health challenges, a transformative encounter with Moldavite, and the emotional unraveling that led to one of my deepest healing realizations yet.

I share the inner work, spiritual downloads, and subconscious breakthroughs that came through a single intentional meditation—and how you can start identifying patterns that are silently running your life.

Key Takeaways:

• Returning to the mic after months away due to physical and emotional burnout.
• Navigating physical, mental, and emotional health challenges
• The Moldavite catalyst: why this controversial crystal entered her life at the perfect moment.
• How a single meditation revealed a core childhood wound about “the rug being pulled out from under me.”
• Why impulsive spending, food patterns, and over-controlling behaviors were all tied to one belief.
• How the Yes Supply Method is changing her understanding of healing and coaching.
• The importance of pattern recognition and how it helps break anxiety loops.

Instagram: @clairekellems_

Transcript

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Hi everyone and welcome back to the Ultra Aligned Podcast. It has been a while since I've actually sat down and recorded an episode. Um, I'm gonna get into that, into this episode, but I was feeling really inspired to sit down and record this. So yeah, I decided to just go ahead and dive back in. Um. Like I said, it's been a while since I've actually sat down and recorded. I think I released my last episode in early August, but I had actually recorded that episode like back in July. So it's been a minute since I have actually sat down in front of this microphone. But as always, I hope you are having an amazing day wherever you are. Um, yeah, let's dive in. So. Like I said, I've been MIA, I've been in mi IMIA on here, on Instagram on pretty much everywhere. Um, I've been going through some pretty decently sized changes in my life. Um, there's been a lot going on and I haven't really been ready to talk about it, but I felt really called today to do it. So here we are. So over the past month, month and a half, I have had, well, it's almost two months now actually. I have been having some health issues. Nothing too major, but. Annoying, annoying ones nonetheless. Um, but I'll kind of explain. So I have had reoccurring ear infections for like a year now, and this has been something that has been literally driving me nuts since like last spring. And I finally, um, I finally got ear tubes put in my right ear. So that's been a huge help for me. But. It hasn't been an easy, an easy journey to get here. Um, with the ear infections came some other things, and it's just been kind of snowballing into just a health problem. Um, like I said, nothing's too major, but. It's still been a little bit of a problem nonetheless. Um, which is actually, it's actually interesting that this is all happening as it is because on my, when I made a vision board for 2025, I put on there that I wanted to be my healthiest, ver the healthiest, the healthiest version of myself possible, and I really wanted to focus on my health, and I kept being kind of called. Being pulled to start, um, taking care of myself a little bit better, doing some more self care, eating healthier foods, and I kept ignoring it. And as we all know, ignoring things and avoiding things doesn't really get us anywhere productive. And so I, um, I was talking to a friend actually, and. Um, they mentioned, if you're not familiar, I'll kind of try to explain, but they mentioned a crystal to me called Moldavite. Um, and if you're not familiar with what Moldavite is, moldavite is a, um, it's a tech tight, so what it is is like 15 million years ago or something, a meteor hits Earth and when it hit earth, it flew a bunch of debris and glass and all this material flew up into the air. And when it flew up into the air, it cooled rapidly and created this green glass, like, um, tech tight, like this material essentially. It's almost like a glass. Um, but anyway, um, moldavite is notoriously known for, um, producing a lot of change in your life. A lot of, um, good change, positive change disruption, disruptive change. If you. Have that intention for mold dite. Um, a lot of people know mold dite as a very negative thing. Um, it was really popular back in like 2020 during COVID. Everyone was getting moldavite and everyone was like, my life turned upside down in the worst way possible. I lost my job, I lost my car, I lost my dog, I lost my, my house, and people were freaking out. And then it got a really bad rap in like the spiritual community. So. Everyone was kind of afraid of Moabite. Everyone was really ignoring mold. Debi like, don't get it. It's gonna ruin your life, essentially. But I also have heard that if, um, you feel really drawn to it or if you can't seem to stop thinking about it or it keeps coming up, um, Moabite finds its way to you. And if you are ready for mold, a bite, it will appear in your life. And that's exactly what it did. And so I decided that I, I immediately was drawn to it as soon as she said it, like it just. Like lit something up inside of me. And so I was like, you know what? I'm gonna think on this. I am a pretty impulsive person sometimes. And I was like, I'm gonna think on this. I'm gonna wait and just see what happens. So I waited for like three weeks, and I'm not kidding, I could not stop thinking about this freaking mul divide. And so I just kind of took that as a sign. I mean, like literally I would go to bed at night thinking about it. I would wake up thinking about it, like I could not stop thinking about it. And so I. I, um, I went online and I, and I bought a piece of Moabite and I was so nervous to get it'cause everyone was literally like, it's going to ruin your life. But the friends that I had talked to, they were both, you know, we were talking about it and they had gotten a piece of Moabite and, um, at a time that they needed it. But, uh, it's not my story to tell. So they were just telling me about their bold divide experiences and how, um. You know how they, they really enjoyed it and so I, I got this moldavite and I was like, I am ready for this thing. I was so ready for it, and I made the decision that I wasn't gonna be scared of it, and that I was gonna set the intention for this moldavite to be really powerful and really transformative for me. And so I, I got my mold of diet. And within a matter of like a couple, a couple days, a couple weeks of getting it, I felt like my life had completely flipped upside down, but not in a way that I was not expecting, if that makes sense. I think. For, in my personal opinion, I think Moldavite is something that if you are ready for change and you are ready for something new to come in your life, or you feel like you know, you're not quite on that path that you're wanting to be on, but you're ready for the change to get you there. I think Moldavite is, mold's like the perfect thing for you. I love it. I can't believe I was scared of it because I love this little thing. Um, as soon as I opened the package and like I held it in my hand, it was like a moth to a flame. I loved looking at it. I just loved holding it. I loved its energy and I just, I literally have it with me all the time. And so I, um, I set the intention when I got it to one for protection, but two, to really help me help get me on my. On the right path for me. And since I was, I have already been on this path of like trying to find my, you know, my purpose, my, my life path, I guess, whatever. I think that's what I'm trying to say. But since I have already made these big shifts in my life, I don't think it. Was as intense for me. It still shifted a lot of things, but I think when people who like have done like zero anything and you're like, and they get molded and they're like, put me on my life path. I think it's such a huge shift for them and like so drastic because they like weren't really expecting it maybe, um. But since I had already kind of shifted and have been trying to get to this path and have made a lot of changes already in my life, I feel like I felt like it was more of a, a very expected thing to happen. So it still was a shift, but here we are. But anyway, within like two weeks of me getting this thing, okay. I got ear tubes put in. I was put on a medication for some health related stuff that made the medication kinda made me sick, but it was, it was a short term medication. Um, I had to completely change my diet, so I had to cut out sugar, carbs and caffeine, all three of which I consumed daily. Um, so if you could imagine, wow. But yeah, just, I'll let you imagine how that was for me. I literally consumed caffeine every single day of my life. So, um, within like a matter of like literally three weeks, all like this huge health shift happened and I knew it was coming. Because I have been getting messages, downloads, whatever for a long time now that if you don't address your body's health, you're not gonna have the phys, the energy to be able to help people in the capacity that you're wanting to help people in. And so I knew this was coming and I, I, it hit me pretty hard. I won't lie. It hit me pretty hard, but. But we are, I feel like coming out of it now, um, the medication that I was on that was making me really sick, I was able to finish it. I am still kind of like almost a month into this process of no, like, sugar, carbs, caffeine, my head throbs every single day. I want a cup of coffee. So bad. But it's fine. It's fine. I'm here. It's fine. And so, um, this kind of leads me into. The spiral that I went into. So I am someone who. Has pretty decent amount of anxiety now. I am thankful that I have been able to identify patterns in my life. Um, that is something I recommend every single person, no matter who you are, no matter what you do to recognize patterns in your life, it can be so incredibly helpful to recognize and to see like the patterns you fall into. So for me, every um. Every year around my birthday, which is around this time, I get into this like health spiral where I'm convinced I have like a disease like that. I'm just like, like a debilitating disease. Like literally every year I'm convinced I have something wrong with me. And so I recognized this as soon as like this health started, stuff started happening. I was like, okay. I need to be prepared for this. I know this is gonna happen, and guess what? It still happened and I still spiraled, and I found out that the medication that I was on during that process, it heightens anxiety really badly. So that didn't help at all, but I. I still spiral. I still spiraled. Absolutely. 10, 9, 10 I spiraled, crashed out a hundred percent. So anyway, I'm going through this medication, I'm going through this process, literally like literally all on the same day. I need you to like put, like, imagine this. On the same day I got ear tubes put in and I started this medication and I quit sugar, carbs, and caffeine on the same. Day. Okay. So if you could imagine, my body I think was in a state of shock. I think it was actually like I'm shutting down. I like, I can't, I can't right now. I was so sick. I literally felt like garbage for like two weeks straight. So. Anyway, where this is leading me to is that's kind of like the backstory of like, what's been going on. Um, so that's, that's kind of why I've been MIA everywhere. I have literally, I have felt like I've had the flu for like two weeks straight and then I've been like, that's just been on the medication. So like I'm a week out the medication. So like I'm kind of coming out of it a little bit, but. I still have, like, I still want caffeine so bad. My head throbs literally all the time. So I'm in a state where I'm having to allow my body to really take the time to heal and to readjust, to like literally every shift I made in a matter of one singular day in a matter of literally like 12 hours, which is fine. Um, but. I don't recommend that I am a little bit impulsive, so I was like, Nope, we're doing it all right here right now. And it just literally so happened that like the ears and like everything kind of felt on the same day Anyway. Anyway, I. Was it frustrating? Yes. Was I mad a lot of the time and irritated? Yes. Was I grouchy? Yes. But I was still thankful throughout the whole process because I knew this was part of my journey. I knew before it even happened, I knew before I even got this mobi. I knew. I knew. I knew it was coming, and I knew it needed to happen. For a reason. So I would be able to help people the way I want to. Um, and the capacity, like I said, the capacity that the way I want to, because I knew if I didn't address, like, and it's not that I wasn't like unhealthy, but I just, I didn't really pay attention to, I. Self-care necessarily. Maybe self-care is not the word. I, um, and it didn't really, I wasn't really paying attention to, um, like the things that I ate, the things that I did. Um, and I had like such a low energy all the time, so I would like slam caffeine. And so I was, I was kind of neglecting what my body was wanting and I was like, it's fine. It'll be fine. Don't worry about it. Um, here I am actually. It wasn't fine. But anyway, so. I've been addressing that, um, lately and like my health overall. And so with the anxiety spike came the. Um, fixation, the hyper fixation on my health and if I was okay and if I was going to be okay. And I like immediately just like started stressing like something was wrong with me. Like this was like, this was it. Like I, when I spiral, I freaking spiral and there's not a lot that's gonna stop me. And I got into this anxiety spiral and guess what? I burnt out so badly. I. Crashed out and I just so happened to crash out like right before the eclipse that we just had. And if you don't know, eclipses are really like life changing, like transformative. There's a lot of energy from eclipses that can make people really irritable or energized or whatever it may be. Um, there's just a lot of, a lot of energy around eclipses and I literally started crashing out like a week before, like. Wholeheartedly. And so I, um, anyway, so I'm here. Here I am, and I couldn't figure out, but I kept getting these downloads. Okay. I kept getting these downloads that like I needed to. Really have that inner talk with myself, and it just so happens that I stumbled upon this person on Instagram. Um, Alex reads tarot if you're familiar. If not, I absolutely recommend following her. Um, she does like daily readings and literally, literally I found her and. Like every day her readings were like, she was talking to a collective of people, but she was like, I dunno, this collective of people really needs to have like an inner talk with themselves. Like there's a lot going, a lot of change going on for this per like collective. Like there's just a lot of shifts happening and I really feel like you need to have this inner self-talk. She's basically hitting home on all the things. Okay. So I, um. Um, I've been avoiding a few things coming up for me and I'm not gonna talk about'em, um, on here just because like, I don't, it's not something I'm ready to share with yet or share yet. So, um, there's been a lot coming up for me in regards of, um. Just like past memories. Okay. So I knew they were coming up and I kept avoiding them because I didn't want to really necessarily go down that rabbit hole. Um, but I knew that's kind of where I needed to go. But for whatever reason, my body kept resisting. I kept resisting and I, I want to heal and I love healing, but sometimes I get to a place where I'm like, I don't wanna, I don't wanna go down that hole. I just don't wanna go down that rabbit hole. Um, but I kept feeling like this was where I needed to go. Um, and I, I kept getting these messages that are like, if you don't move past this, like if you don't. Open your eyes to this, to this and move past this. Like, you're not going to, you're not gonna get past it. And I, I just didn't really, I don't know, I just kept avoiding it. Okay. So I'm looking outside. I got distracted. Sorry, my horses are running back and they're being ridiculous and funny. But anyway, sorry. So anyway, I, um. I kept getting these downloads that I really needed to look into something. But then I kept asking. I was like, well, I don't know what I'm even looking into, like what am I even looking into? I like, I don't even know what I'm looking for. And I kept getting frustrated because I was like, I'm getting all these signs. I'm getting all these numbers. I'm getting all these things that say like, you really need to heal this, heal this, heal this. But like, what am I even healing? I don't even know. I don't know what I'm even healing. And so I was getting kind of grouchy and um. But I kept like, like a part of me. You how, like a part of you just knows. A part of me just knew that like if I sat down, like truly sat down, set the intention and like meditated on it, I would find my answer. But for whatever reason, my body kept like avoiding it. I kept wanting to avoid it. And the reason I'm doing this podcast now is because it's, I literally just had this experience. It's still fresh in my mind. So I wanted to, I wanted to share it with you now. So. I decided earlier that I was just gonna do it. I was gonna do it. I was gonna sit down and I was gonna meditate. Now I meditate like every day, but I just kind of had this feeling I needed to set this intention. Like I really needed to go into what it was that was holding me back. Like what it was that was like scaring me or keeping me in this like anxiety spiral. Like I, I, I, I do this with literally everyone, everyone I've done it with, like. Um, I've done it with myself, with my husband, with my dog, with my son. I will just, I'll fixate on something in their lives. It's usually around health related things and I freaking spiral with it. And so I sat down and I started meditating on it and I immediately started getting these downloads, like immediately. And at first it was kinda like push putting the PE puzzle pieces together and. I couldn't quite figure out what was going on, but I, I kind of felt like there was a guide there. And, um, he was, you know, we were, we were kind of talking back and forth and I just kept asking like, what is this? Like what is this? What is this? Why am I so afraid of the p, like the ones that I love, like something happening to them. Why am I so afraid of this? And I immediately. Immediately heard the saying, you're afraid the rug's gonna get pulled out from underneath you. And all of a sudden it was like, it was like someone like opened the curtains. It was like I had been behind curtains and someone finally opened the curtains and like the stage lights came on and everything like just downloaded so fast. And it just hit me. And at some point things, you know, things when I was little, things would happen. And I. Would get a lot of anxiety when I was a little, when I was a little girl. Um, certain things would happen, certain instances would happen and I would, I would panic and it, I'm like having this memory in meditation when I was a little girl, when something would happen and when I, like when something scary would happen or, um, when something in my life that I don't really necessarily am gonna talk about on the podcast right now. What happened? Um. I would immediately go into a state of, I'm going to lose this thing, this person, this animal. I'm going to lose them. I'm going to lose them. The rug's gonna get ripped out from underneath me, and I'm gonna lose it. I'm gonna lose it. And at some point in my childhood, my baby brain made this limiting belief, this belief that when scary things happen, when unexpected things happen. The rug is literally gonna get ripped out from underneath you. You're gonna lose everything you love and you're not gonna have it anymore, and it's gonna go away forever. And so I connected throughout my life. This has been a limiting belief throughout my life that I literally just realized I had. I've connected everything with the rug's gonna get ripped out from underneath me, and I'm gonna lose everything. I love when something. Happens when something minor happens, when something comes up, when something, um, like when I'm not in a really regulated space, when I'm not feeling really balanced, this pattern keeps happening because I constantly feel like the rug's gonna get ripped out from underneath me. And I had no idea that this was such a underlying fear of mine that I would lose everything I loved when something, even, even if it wasn't that bad, like even if it was a minor hiccup, a minor inconvenience in my day. My little baby brain, my little, you know, it's 11:11 AM just so you know. Anyway, so my little baby brain would connect that when unexpected things happen, the rug's gonna get ripped out from underneath you and you're gonna lose everything you love and. I had no idea how mu how many times I had used that in my life. And it was almost like the story was playing out in meditation. I could see instances happen in my life that I've, I connected with. I am gonna ha I had to freak out. I'm spiraling like a huge anxiety attack because of the fear of losing something I loved. And so, for example, when, um. But even before my son was born, um, I would. Like out of the blue, like I would be completely fine. And then out of the blue one freaking day, I would convince myself that my husband wasn't coming home from work. And it got to the point where I would check his location all day long. I would call him all day long. I wouldn't leave my house until he came home. So I knew he was home safely. I would literally wake up. I would stay at the house all day long and make sure that he got home at a certain time because I was so scared of losing him just out of the blue, like completely out of the freaking blue. And I did this with my dog. I used to work at a veterinary clinic at, at the time, thankful that I did because I had to take her with me to work every single day because I convinced myself if I left her home even for one single day. That something would happen, the rug would get ripped out from underneath me, and someone, like, something bad would happen to her and it would take her away. Like someone would take her away or something bad would happen to her. Like the, like the house would catch on fire, uh, whatever it was. It was just deep seated inside of me that it, something's gonna take her away. I did this with my son when he was born. I've done this with myself now, and I've noticed, like I'm literally sitting here putting the pieces together. It's happened every fall. It has happened every fall when I've done this. I did this right before our wedding. Um. And our wedding was in November, and I did this in the fall that year. My son was born in the fall. Um, when I worked at the clinic, my, you know, when I, I did this with my dog for like a full year, so I guess it wasn't technically the fall, but, but it's happened in the fall for me. So I don't know if, I don't know if that is something that, um, is a past life is a generational thing, is something that happened in my lifetime. I don't know. I'm currently actually. In the, um, in the yes supply method. So this is something I'm gonna talk on too. I'm not gonna get too deep into it right now because I'm gonna finish this or I'll get distracted and I'll go on an entirely other tangent. But we're learning about how, um, science has proved that. Certain trauma, certain events, um, certain information can live in DNA for up to 14 generations. Um, and it's actually been proven that children and grandchildren of, um, like. Um, people that were in war or were in, um, like war type places actually have a more heightened sense of awareness and more heightened senses. Um, those that were directly related to people that were in war or like fought in war or like survived through war, um, like this has been scientifically proven. Like this is like a real thing. And so I don't know if it's something like that for me. I don't know. But this whole thing with like my health with, um, like this anxiety spike and I, I'm literally, I'm so serious. I will be, I'll have like a random anxiety spikes like throughout the year, whatever. But without fail once a year I freaking spiral on something so badly that I can't hardly pull myself out of it. And so when I was in this meditation, like it, it was like all the dots started connecting. Um. That like this rug like would get ripped out from underneath me and that I would lose everything. And that was what my baby brain created. Like that was a belief that my little baby brain created. That when something scary happened when I was little or when something, um, when I would see something happen or, um, people would, you know, fight or argue around me, I would just go into this state of mind that. Everything I love is getting ready to be taken away from me. And this leads me into my, um, when I, when I get into a dysregulated state, when I am not in balance, ISI will, um, I will spend money and I won't pay attention to. My, what I'm doing and I become very impulsive. When I get into this state of fear. I become very impulsive and this is something that I have recognized from myself, um, and I'm very thankful that I did, and this goes back to. I really recommend people, um, looking into patterns in their lives. Oh my gosh. The finding like identifying patterns in my life has literally like saved my life. I'm not even kidding you. I can identify things now so much more quickly and I won't continue on that path as long, um, because I recognize it. And so I started recognizing that I was becoming really impulsive. I would buy things. I would, um. Uh, you know, I would spend money on like ridiculous things like I literally didn't even need. And I, um, like full disclosure, full trigger warning here about, um, eating disorders. If you are sensitive to this, I just wanna put a trigger warning in. But, um. I am someone who I've never had a really healthy relationship with food. I have either had a binge eating disorder or I've had, um, anorexia like, um, anorexic, um, tendencies and I've never really had a healthy relationship with, with food. And so I recognized that. I had a negative emotional attachment to spending and to food. This is something I've recognized before. Um, but I, it kind of like popped back up in this meditation and it, and it like all started clicking and like coming together. When I would get into this state of feeling like the rug was gonna get ripped out from underneath me, I would, I would turn to, to, um, spending or um, like. Um, snacking more or binge eating more or whatever it was to, as a comfort because like that was what's going, that was what's going to, that was always, um, what am I trying to say here? It was going to almost save me, if that makes sense. I don't know if that's exactly what I'm trying to say, but it was a sense of comfort, like of wholeness. Like if I had it, I was whole. And if I had it, it wouldn't be taken away from me. So it almost became a thing of, I almost had to like hoard these things. Like, not hoard, that's not the word either. I'm, I can't figure out the word I'm trying to use, but anyway. I would become more impulsive and become more impulsive in different areas of my life to hurry up. That's what I'm trying to get at, to hurry up and like, take control over the situation. So whatever it was that was gonna be taken away from me didn't happen. And for whatever reason, I have connected, like being impulsive, like spending, um, like binge eating, whatever it was, with this fear of having something taken away from me. And so. In my head, I have to quickly take control of the situation. I have to become really impulsive and I have to make sure like that nothing is taken away from me. And this is something that has connected like it's dot the dots for me. Um, like throughout, like I have seen different things happen throughout my life where, um, spending has like. Been a form of comfort or eating has been a form of comfort. I've witnessed this throughout my life. So, um, I kind of made those connections throughout my life and it really was, um, it really was an eye-opener for me, like during this meditation to kind of put all the pieces together. So. I, you know, I, I didn't realize I was, I didn't realize that all these pieces literally fit together so perfectly. I had all these different things that were happening, and I just didn't realize, like, what, what was the connection between everything? And it wasn't until I like, went through this meditation that I put two and two together, and I was like, okay, when I get these, when I get in these spirals, when I feel like the rug's gonna be taken from me, I become really impulsive. Because if I can take control of the situation, if I can get ahead of the situation, if I can prevent the situation, the situation won't happen. And so I use these different modalities to protect myself. So with my health, I can't tell you. I'm gonna be so honest with you right now. I can't even tell you how many, how many people I reached out to, how much money, how much money I have spent on. Doctors medication, blood work, literally anything to make sure that I'm okay. And I do that in a lot of areas of my life when this anxiety spike hits. So when my son was bored, when I was doing this with my son, I would. I would buy him literally anything that would ensure his safety and comfort. I would take him to the doctor like religiously to make sure that he was healthy. Like I for the first, I'm not kidding you. For the first eight weeks of my son's life, he was at the doctor. At least once, if not twice a week for the first solid eight weeks of his life. It wasn't until after eight weeks, I think I skipped a week, um, and, and didn't go to the pediatrician. Um, it was really rough. Um, but I just kept convincing myself that if I got ahead of the situation, the rug wouldn't be pulled out from under me. I wouldn't be caught off guard and I would be in control. And by wanting to be in control, it took control of me. It consumed my entire life, and so I recognized. Um, this time around that I could see where this was headed and I could see where I was spiraling to. And I just, I kept wanting to avoid it and I don't know why. And I, I, I think I wanted to avoid it for, um, there were some reasons that I think I wanted to avoid it for, but, um. But I, I, I, the message here is I finally did it. I finally stepped into it and I got a lot of answers that I had been literally praying for, that I would, that I would pray, that I would get. Um, and I, I and I connected all these pieces together. And during the meditation, I, I could like almost see this cord, like connecting me to that specific, um. A place in my life where I may, where I created these beliefs, and if you know what cord cutting is, um, it's essentially like cutting energy to like certain people or certain, um, events that had happened to kind of sever the ties, not necessarily to delete anything, but so that you're no longer giving energy to that part of your life anymore. And so I was, so I cut cords with that and I cut that energy off to that, um, to that specific event, to that specific belief. And I actually. Rewa or re um, wrote the script that I kept telling myself and I reframed how I saw, um, these patterns in my life. And so instead of, um. Instead of buying things and, um, becoming really impulsive when things would happen and trying to control the situation, I reframed it and said that I can spend healthy ma, I could spend healthy money, I can be healthy and not have the fear of the rug being ripped out from underneath me anymore. Um, and I wrote that in a way that. I said that I can, I can be this person, I can be this healthy person, and I can still have healthy relationships in my life and I can still, um, my loved ones will still love me and they will still be there. I didn't have to fear them leaving me because of, um. This fear that something would happen. And so I know I had to be kind of vague there, but like I said, there were still some things like that. I'm like not really, not really wanting to share yet here on this, on this podcast, So, with that being said, um, I had a, a few other experiences in meditation as well, which were really cool. Um, I, I kept seeing a rose like roses and a beetle, and it was like the little, it was like a little black beetle, like, you know, the, the beetles that. Like are on the roses. They kind of like those. But anyway, I kept seeing Beatles and I kept seeing roses and I kept hearing them say like, look it up. Look it up, look it up. Um, and I've had this experience before something happened where they'll show me something and they'll tell me to Google it, or they'll tell me to look it up. Um, and they'll be like a clear meaning behind it. And the, the meaning behind it was the, um, basically the Beatle stands for like. Um, being grounded, being rooted to the earth, like more earth type. And the rose is connected more with like the divine, the love, the heart chakra, like being more up in like the, the heavens, if you want to call it more in the spiritual realm. So finding balance between heaven and earth, essentially between being super spiritual and super grounded. Um, trying to find a nice balance between the two, um, to remember like those aspects of yourself in both ways, because I'm someone, like I said. I'm pretty impulsive. I will hyper fixate on stuff, so I will get really hyper fixated on something and then I will crash out and I will burn out. And I, I do this quite often. Um, I, it's just something I've always done, um, with my, my my A DHD. Um, so here I am. I'm just living life. But I was, when I was in meditation still, I felt my like crown chakra, it was like, it was tingling so much so that it was almost like, like itching, like it was almost like to a burning sensation. And I, which is interesting because right before meditation, I pulled the crown chakra card twice. And so it was interesting that my crown chakra in. Meditation was like really, really like, it was almost like burning. It was like tingling so much, which was, which I thought was really interesting. But, I think I covered everything. Oh, the yes. Apply method. I do wanna dive into that real quick. So I mentioned it before and I'm gonna mention it. Uh, I'm gonna go in a little more detail about it now. So I had a, um, I had a friend tell me about a course that she had taken and I immediately was drawn to it. It was like everything I was looking for. Um, I have been on the. Journey of becoming more trauma sensitive, more trauma informed in my life. I want to be able to better communicate with, with individuals in a more trauma sensitive way, in a more, um, inclusive and thoughtful way. That's something that's really important to me. And I had this friend tell me about this program she had taken. And it's a, um, mindset coach certification program, but you also get certified in, neural energetic encoding, neural energetic wiring hypnosis, and the EFT tapping, you might know what I'm talking about. But basically it's, you tap certain meridian points on your body, um, and it causes your body to, Basically feel certain sensations. And when you are saying positive affirmations, while you're tapping certain, uh, meridian points, it helps your body and your subconscious really lock in what you are calling in. It's really cool. But I am, I'm becoming certified in all these things and so I'm really excited about it because I'm learning so much in it already. And I, um, I, I, I'm only like four weeks into it right now, but I have learned so much about the brain, about the subconscious, And so this is something that I'm really wanting to incorporate in my life somehow. Um, I'm not sure how I'm gonna do it if that means. If that looks like me being a coach, if that looks like me being, um, an intuitive coach, I really don't know. I'm really trying to figure out how to blend the spiritual, um, like mediumship side of myself with like the mindset coach side without it being like. A mentorship thing'cause I'm not really wanting to mentor. Um, but the, but the coaching aspect of it really, um, resonates with me and how they teach at the supply method is so thoughtful and so inclusive. And it's everything that I. Want to be able to share with others. And so, um, I'm really excited about that. I'm really excited to share more about that in the future as I go along. Um, and yeah. Okay. I can't think of anything more I wanted to share. I think that was it. I did not realize this was going to be as long as it is, but I am glad I just put it out there. Okay. Well, I hope you all have an amazing day. Wherever you are. Um, I hope magic just fills your life every day, and I hope that you know, you are loved by so many. Um, and I really just, I want you to know that you are on the path that you were meant to be on, and if that path is not something that you are currently happy with or you would like to change it, there's always that possibility. There's always that possibility of change. There's always a possibility of transformation, and there's always a possibility of finding who and what you want to be and following your passion and your purpose in life. With that being said, I love you all. I hope you have an amazing day, and I will hopefully see you soon.