Pinned, but Not Out: Wrestling Through Divorce, Anger, and Resilience

What happens when life throws punches harder than the wrestling ring ever could?

In this episode of Hidden Chapters, I’m catching up with Jay Smith, who was actually one of my students when I was a first year teacher back in 2002. Fast forward 20 plus years, and Jay is an Army veteran, professional wrestler, dad, and someone who has walked through divorce, anger, and some really hard seasons.

We talk about what it’s like to fight for a marriage that doesn’t make it, how divorce shifts everything, learning to co parent well with an ex, and how wrestling became more than just a sport. It became a way to release anger and process emotions he had spent years suppressing.

Jay opens up about the walls he built, the resentment he carried, and what it’s taken to slowly break those walls down. After years of serving in the military and walking through one of the darkest seasons of his life, he has learned how to choose growth, patience, and joy, even when life doesn’t go as planned.

This episode is a reminder that even when life pins you down, resilience is built one step at a time and finding the good is still possible.

💬 Jay's Words That Stay With Us:

• “It was my darkest time in my life.”
• “Always hunt the good stuff.”
• “Be patient with yourself.”
   

🔗 Resources & Links:

Connect with Jay Smith on IG: @jay5mashthemat 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Today's episode is a really special one. I'm sitting down with someone who knew me way back when, when I was Miss McLaurin, his 11th grade high school English teacher. And now, 23 years later, we're reconnecting in a whole new way. Let's dive into CJ's story. All right, so CJ. Hey, what's going on? It is so great to reconnect after all these years. What's your favorite memory from 11th grade at Cape Fear High School?

SPEAKER_03 0:35

Oh, man. Honestly, I can say I have a lot of favorite memories. My biggest memory, one of my favorite memories was coming to your 11th grade class and just being like out there and being... willing to do whatever it was needed to do in class. I'm the class clown, too, so.

SPEAKER_00 0:57

Yeah, I remember. Well, I do appreciate that because I swear I did not know what I was doing that first year. I really

SPEAKER_03 1:04

didn't. It seemed like you did, so no worries. You got me through it, for sure. That was the first time, actually, the first time in high school that I ever came out with an A.

SPEAKER_01 1:16

Yeah, because you did the work.

SPEAKER_00 1:18

Yeah. So, yeah. So you and I go way back to two different times in both of our lives. What's it feel like to reconnect this way?

SPEAKER_03 1:30

Man, it's surreal. It is definitely surreal. We weren't friends on Facebook. I wonder what she's doing. I wonder where she's at. And then all of a sudden you popped up and I was like, oh, that's my 11th grade teacher. And I was married at the time. And my wife was like, so? Yeah. Yeah. Nevermind. Nevermind. She is very important. So yeah. Well,

SPEAKER_00 1:55

I think it's a, it was a really surreal moment for me too. When I found out that you wanted to be a guest because I was telling my husband, I was 22. I didn't, I wasn't married yet. I didn't have any kids. Fast forward. Here I am now I'm in a different season of my life. And my first daughter is the same age of kids that I used to teach. And I'm starting all over again in some brand new, a new podcaster. So it excites me to just see the seasons and how we've grown in each of them and how we can just come back together. And

SPEAKER_03 2:27

I'm definitely honored to be one of your guests. It's

SPEAKER_00 2:31

so surreal to me. I appreciate that. Well, you were willing to come on and share a little bit about your life experiences, some things that have happened. So how would you describe right now the season of life you're in? Who are you? I

SPEAKER_03 2:49

am truly blessed to be where I am today. I am not perfect by any means, but I don't have the perfect life. There are things in my life that I wish were better, but I am in truly a great place in my life right now. I am a professional wrestler. I just retired from playing football like three years ago. I have two beautiful children. I have two bonus children from my marriage. They're still my children. I play sports. I'm active. I'm in the community out here. I live in Germany. So yeah, like I moved, I was in the military and at least for 19 years.

SPEAKER_00 3:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 3:34

A lifer. A lifer, yeah, basically.

SPEAKER_00 3:37

Wow. So since North Carolina, you joined the army, but where has life taken you? So where have you been?

SPEAKER_03 3:44

Okay. So living wise, I lived in North Carolina the majority of the time. So on my deployments, I went to Kuwait. I went to Iraq. I've been to Qatar. Those are the biggest three places that I've been as far as my military career is concerned. And Living here in Germany, as far as living is concerned, places that I've visited, I've visited Jamaica. I've been to Costa Rica. Of course, all up and down the East Coast, Florida, Georgia. My father lives in Georgia, Virginia. I've been to New York on some work trips. So yeah, I've been to Switzerland. I wrestled in Switzerland. I went to France last year. I've been to

SPEAKER_00 4:33

France. Love it.

SPEAKER_03 4:34

I'm two hours from Switzerland. I'm like three to five hours to Italy, depending on where you want to go.

SPEAKER_00 4:44

You

SPEAKER_03 4:44

know, it's

SPEAKER_00 4:45

so great. Filling up that passport.

SPEAKER_03 4:47

That's it. That's it. I might need a new one soon.

SPEAKER_00 4:50

There you go. Okay, so take me back to the start of your marriage. So you've been a lot of places. You've gotten to do a lot of things. What were your hopes then? And when did things start getting tough?

SPEAKER_03 5:05

The beginning of my marriage, I didn't even want to talk to my wife like that. We met on almost accident. We had a wonderful friendship. We connected off of Christian rap. I was walking through the parking lot on my way to work and she drove up because we were going to a class on a Saturday. And she was like, is this where the class is? And I was like, yeah, she's very beautiful, by the way. And I am in the office with nothing but men. So in my mindset, my mindset is everybody's going to hit on her. So I'm not going to hit on her because that's not That's not who I am. So I left her alone. Then we went to lunch and then she asked me to ride with her. And then we connected off of Christian music, Christian, Christian rap music. And I was like, Oh, this is cool. And then from there on, we started talking and dating and we dated for about nine months before I asked her to marry me. Yeah. And then once, once, and then we got married and, We got married in 13 months, no, 14 months. I asked her to marry me in July, and then we got married in November.

SPEAKER_00 6:27

Yeah, whirlwind romance.

SPEAKER_03 6:29

Yeah, man. And what's so crazy about it is, throughout the first... We've had disagreements. I'll say disagreements, but never an argument. It was never an argument up until we had our first child. And I will tell you, I've always said... If I wasn't married by the age of 30 and I didn't have a kid by the age of 30, then I wasn't getting married or nor was I having kids. I had my first child. I got married at 30 and I had my first child at 30. So it was pretty cool. It was a pretty cool experience. I still to this day love my ex-wife to this day. She is still my heart, you know. But my goals were... To be honest, it was literally to own a house, have a car, have at least two cars paid off, have children, which she had two previous to me, and then we had our two. And so we were a full family. And whenever my son was born, I was like, okay, this is my dream. This was what I wanted. This is everything that I've ever wanted. I have two girls, two boys. I have a house that we just bought. We were just purchasing, you know, and everything was good. Everything was great. And my son was, I felt like when he came home, whenever I came home from my deployment, he was going to be walking. And I was just like, oh my gosh, this is going to be great.

SPEAKER_01 8:06

You

SPEAKER_03 8:06

know what I mean? I was so excited about that. But then like there was, we just had issues. It was like, I heard her say that I didn't listen to her. I didn't feel her. I didn't acknowledge what she was going through at the time, which she was at home with four children by herself and had my own issues overseas. And I still, I should have put my stuff on the back burner for her because she was really going through some mental stuff, you know? Yeah. And, um, because she was going through that mental stuff. And I heard her, but I didn't acknowledge that what she was going through. And I didn't understand what she was going through. And then it was like, that was the breaking point for her.

SPEAKER_00 8:57

The snap. Now, what

SPEAKER_03 8:58

ages were the kids? When I met the oldest two children, they were eight and six. They are currently 19 and 17. And my children are eight and six, getting ready to be nine and seven. So my two girls are 10 years apart and my two boys are 10 years apart.

UNKNOWN 9:26

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 9:27

So it's pretty

SPEAKER_00 9:29

cool. Yeah. So what was the hardest moment when you realized the marriage was not going to sustain and divorce was inevitable?

UNKNOWN 9:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 9:41

moving out, moving out of the house. I came home from my deployment and I wanted to work on things. I really wanted to work on things. It was to a point where like she did some things that were not, you know, but that's neither here nor there. But I still wanted to work on the things, regardless of who was in the wrong and what was wrong about it. It didn't matter to me because I took my vows very, very seriously. So till death do us part was till death do us part, you know? So I really wanted to work on it because I had everything I wanted. And the thing is, what's the interesting thing about me, what I did not realize was I didn't understand what unconditional love was. for another person outside of my family really, really meant until the things that happened between me and her happened. Like I didn't realize what it meant and how it felt. And I really feel like I was in love with her, but I truly fell in love with her in that moment. You know what I'm saying? Because I knew we had to work on this. I knew we had to go through something to get to a point. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 11:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:08

And so that's why I tried harder. I tried harder to make it work. I wanted to make it work. So when I came home, I was in the house maybe two weeks, two and a half weeks. And she was like, one of us has to leave. And it was devastating to me. Like, I didn't know, I was lost. I didn't know what to do. I was like, the only thing I could think of was, If you leave, you're taking the kids. I know you're going to take the kids no matter what. I don't, it doesn't even matter where you go. You're going to take the kids.

SPEAKER_01 11:48

And

SPEAKER_03 11:48

I said, that's not fair. So I left. I said, it wasn't fair for you guys to leave. And then me being this big house by myself, you know, it just, it was, it wasn't feasible for the family. So I left. I had to leave. I found an apartment, which was super expensive. Yeah. It was crazy. But it was like, when we separated, she was like, this isn't the end. But I don't know how long it's going to take.

SPEAKER_00 12:19

It was just a separation. What you both thought was just a separation.

SPEAKER_03 12:25

Yeah. And then the thing was, for me, it was like, okay, it's going to be like a three-month thing. I was like, let me get a three-month lease and then ask... at the end of the three months. And my thought process was, I will separate for three months and see if that works. If not, I'll extend longer. Well, what I didn't know about three-month leases in that particular apartment complex, you have to give 60 days notice. So I was only in the apartment for a month before they were already asking me if I was going to renew my lease. And so I asked her, I said, How long do you think this is going to take? Do I need to extend longer than what I'm going to be in here? Or do I just, I come back home? Yeah. And she says, I don't know. Why do you keep asking me? And I tried to explain that. And then I think that's what pushed her more. And then that's when the separation papers came. And once I saw the separation papers and the separation agreement, I already knew that she wanted a divorce. And she kept saying she didn't, but I knew she wanted a divorce. I felt it from her. So, and that was hard.

SPEAKER_00 13:44

So, you know, divorce is a topic that I think a lot of people go through, but not very many people understand that quiet internal portion of that people have to process. So what was that emotional terrain for you?

SPEAKER_01 13:59

It was hurtful.

SPEAKER_03 14:05

It was lonely. It was dark. It was really dark. That was probably my darkest time in my life, in my entire life. I knew I had children, but... It didn't, in that moment, my children didn't matter to me. And they mattered, but they didn't matter. Like I knew they were there and I was going to take care of them as long as I was here, but I didn't care if I was here or not. Yeah. You know, and it was really a dark time for me. And I had a friend at the time and he, They were really good at talking me down from my ledge. And my kids were aggravating me at the time, just being kids, not nothing they did on purpose. They were very, very young. And I was popping them, spanking them for almost every little thing that they did. And then my friend helped me realize that I shouldn't be doing that. And I've never... rarely pop my kids to this day because of that.

SPEAKER_00 15:19

Well, I'm sure it was the stress of everything else. The anger was getting taken out in the wrong places. Yeah, I understand that. So you said that you had your friend, but you had also mentioned your family to me before.

SPEAKER_03 15:31

Yeah, my family. My dad. My dad has been probably the biggest support that I've had. And I say that because... It was almost like he went through this same exact story with my mom. And then it was like he just, he was there every moment. Like I had a, I didn't realize it until my friend was explaining it to me that I had a resentment towards women at that time. I really did. And I was just like, like my mom would say something, it would aggravate me. My friends would say something and it would aggravate me. But my dad would speak to me or my brothers would speak to me and it would just be like, okay, you know? And it felt like I started in that timeframe. It was like, every time I... would trust a woman with everything that I had or my love and my trust, it would always get betrayed or it would always turn around and fall back on me. So I had this resentment towards women to a point where I didn't trust anymore. I wasn't, I didn't trust women at all anymore. And, you know, I ain't gonna say till this day, but I still have a little setback from, from that. You know what I mean? It's not like I don't trust women. Cause I do, I do trust women. I, Everybody's different. I understand that. But when I see red flags and things that happen, I'm like, okay, I've seen this before.

SPEAKER_00 16:59

Yeah. It's just a wall you've built up. I think we all, humans, we've all done that.

SPEAKER_03 17:05

For sure.

SPEAKER_00 17:06

So in this process, did it take very long to go through the process? And were you still deploying around this time?

SPEAKER_03 17:13

No. When I came home, I was basically done with deployments and stuff. I was still working for the military, but It wasn't anything. I wasn't even trying to deploy at that time. I knew I couldn't deploy again because it wouldn't have been good.

SPEAKER_00 17:29

Right. It wouldn't have been good for me. Then you wouldn't have mental focus on there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 17:35

Yeah. But like I said, it was tough in that timeframe. It took a while. Honestly, I was working. I was getting better. I was getting to a point where it was like, I need this to either work or not work. One of the two. And it needs to be, I need to completely hate her or completely just, because it was hard for me to really get over her.

SPEAKER_01 18:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:09

Because she's my best friend. She was everything to me. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 18:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:13

And then it literally took a while. It wasn't up until maybe a year ago that to where that, yeah, I mean, I was always cordial, but it maybe wasn't a year ago until we actually clicked to a point where we could co-parent correctly together.

SPEAKER_00 18:35

How long has it been since the divorce?

SPEAKER_03 18:40

So 2021, March 15, 2021. So

SPEAKER_00 18:43

after COVID.

SPEAKER_03 18:45

Right after COVID. I literally, I moved. So I asked her, hey, we don't have to be together, but I want you to move to Germany. You have an opportunity just as well as I do over here. And it would be cool if you could move over here. So that way we don't have to co-parent from a long distance. And she said, I'll think about it. And then she said, yeah, I'll apply. And then I applied. And then she didn't apply. I got the job. And then it was like, it was a no brainer for me to leave because if I would have not, if I would have stayed, I wouldn't be where I am today. I literally would be struggling. Even with a good job, I would struggle because of the child support and everything. Child support, rent, this, that, on top of this, on top of that, still having to take care and support them, buy them clothes, all this stuff.

SPEAKER_00 19:45

So what parts of... Yourself really through this process has surprised you. What are some of the things that you've learned and maybe things you had to unlearn in all of this?

SPEAKER_03 19:54

Resiliency. I went through a class in the military. It was a master resiliency trainer. I don't remember the guy's name, but when he came over, he said, always hunt the good stuff, no matter what happens. always hunt for the good stuff. And that stuck with me for a very long time. So in every situation that I go through, no matter what it is, I'm looking for the positive. I'm not looking at the negative. I'm just looking for the positive. I'm like, okay, this happened. Cool. Okay. What good can this come out? What good can come out of this? And then that's how I've been living. And it was another thing. I tend to act off now because of everything that's happened. I act off of logic instead of emotion. I try to take my emotions out of my decision-making because a lot of the times when you make decisions off of emotion, it may not be what you need or may not be what you want. It's just a feeling. Yeah. You know, and then you bring logic into it and then you're like, okay, I can do this. So I take my feeling out of it and then I make a decision. So that way it's sound and then.

SPEAKER_00 21:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:24

I can move forward.

SPEAKER_00 21:26

And that's really good. I got to commend you on that. That's a hard thing for me to do, especially is to the hard things to find the good. Because sometimes, like you were saying, you can get resentful and bitterness can creep in and all of those things. And unfortunately, I hate to admit it, I've been there. And so bitterness has outweighed the good. And now I'm trying to find ways to find the good and let go of the bitterness, let go of the unforgiveness. And that's hard.

SPEAKER_03 21:54

Unforgiveness is a big thing. And the thing for me, how I've learned is that I can't do anything about what you did. Yeah. So why am I, you can't do anything about what you did other than change your behavior.

SPEAKER_00 22:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:17

And if you're telling me you're going to change your behavior, just change your behavior and let's move forward. And then I'll see you change your behavior. You'll see that you changed your behavior. We can't do anything about the past because it's already happened. The Lion King taught me that.

SPEAKER_00 22:34

What does it matter? It is of the

SPEAKER_03 22:35

past. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 22:38

My mom loves Rafiki.

SPEAKER_03 22:40

Yeah. The Lion King taught me that. By the way, that's my favorite movie of all

SPEAKER_00 22:46

time. I love that. So from that 11th grader that I taught

SPEAKER_03 22:52

to

SPEAKER_00 22:52

now. How has all of this shaped who you are?

SPEAKER_03 22:57

Oh, man. Just like I was saying, it's just my lifestyle now. I live happier by hunting the good stuff. I live happier by not dwelling on the past. I live to love and to help people out. I've learned to, if you help people out and expect nothing in return, it'll always come back to you some way, shape, or form.

SPEAKER_00 23:24

What do you want people to know about this kind of personal transformation that doesn't always get said out loud?

SPEAKER_03 23:32

Be patient with yourself. Be patient in your feeling and your decision-making. The Bible tells us to stand still and know that he's God, but the battle isn't yours, it's his. So If you take it literally, if you be patient in the things that you're doing, the outcome, he'll fight your battles for you. He'll fight that darkness for you. You don't have to do that. You just need to continue to shine your light regardless of what happens.

SPEAKER_00 24:10

So good. So good.

SPEAKER_03 24:12

Don't dwell on it. It doesn't help you dwelling on anything that's happened in the past because People do change.

SPEAKER_00 24:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 24:23

Because you got to give them the opportunity. You asked me a question and you said, what is the one thing that got you to the point where you can function and basically do what you do? And it's basically having the outlet

SPEAKER_01 24:37

that

SPEAKER_03 24:39

I have in professional wrestling. Sports used to be my thing. Yeah, how did you get into that? Sports has always been my thing, as you know. I was a football player, a basketball player. I was always out of class because of sports, you know? Yeah. And it's usually in your class where they were like, hey, everybody who's going on this football game, going to the away game, all right, here we go. Sorry, I got to go, type deal,

SPEAKER_01 25:06

right? I remember,

SPEAKER_03 25:08

yeah. And it's so crazy because... I never knew what my outlets were to contain the anger. When I do get angry, because I do, don't get me wrong, I do get angry. I just try to find the good stuff. I suppress, because of our generation or whatever, we suppress a lot, like you were saying earlier. We suppress a lot. So for me, my anger and my thought process and everything that I have that's negative, I turn into something positive always hunting the good stuff and put it towards wrestling, professional wrestling, basketball, weightlifting. You know, these are things that I did. I do now to, when I do get angry, I can just use that as my outlet. I feel like also in my marriage, it was one of those things where I had an outlet. She didn't have an outlet. And because she didn't have an outlet, it was always like, I was always doing what I wanted to do with my outlet, and she didn't do anything. We had one together, which was bowling, but then it was me doing this, doing this, doing this, doing this, and it was always like I was doing more stuff than she was, and she was always home. I would always invite her to everything I did, but she just wanted to be home sometimes. So that

SPEAKER_00 26:35

was a thing. It's interesting. It's interesting you say that, too, because when I was working at my past job, I would teach military spouses. And something that we used to always say to them is find something that fills your cup. And what was interesting was I was saying this to them going, what brings you joy? Find those things that bring you joy that fills your cup so that you're not pouring from an empty cup. But then I'm asking myself that question going, what fills my cup? What is going to make me happy so that I'm fulfilled and I can pour out to others because I'm taken care of. That's something I'm still working on. Absolutely. We've got nothing for us. And that's where the resentment and the bitterness starts to pop in because our needs haven't been met. Now I'm finally having to come back to myself going, hold on. What's going to fill my cup?

SPEAKER_03 27:40

A lot of the times as husbands, we want to fill your cup. We're trying to fulfill your cup. But we don't know what it is that you want to fulfill your cup with.

SPEAKER_00 27:50

And unfortunately, you may not be able to fill that cup. I think that has to be us. Exactly. Exactly. So it can't be on you all.

SPEAKER_03 27:58

Yeah, exactly. And so, yeah. I agree on that. Okay, so you asked me, how did I get into professional wrestling?

SPEAKER_00 28:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:09

So this is a really cool story. I'm giving you the honest answer. So my friend, my best friend, my male best friend, his name is Greg G Money Johnson. He's a radio personality and he was a radio personality. He used to work for Foxy 99. So when we went to, he used to get a lot of the promotions and stuff for when WWE used to come. So we would always go to the wrestling shows. So one day he got invited to an independent wrestling show as the ring announcer. This is before we both, like, I've always loved wrestling. You can ask my family members, you can ask my brothers, my sisters, my cousins, all that stuff. From when we were little, I was always wrestling because that's what I liked. I loved wrestling. You know? So it's funny because when he got invited to this independent wrestling show, we were sitting there and there was this Two guys. There was one guy. He was probably, how tall are you? Like five, five, one. He's probably five, two, five, three, but he was like 200 and like maybe 50 pounds. So this guy comes out. We see all types of guys with muscles and everything. You see all shapes and sizes. And then when he came out, I was like, wow, this is crazy. And then he came out in pink trunks, the underwear-like type, pink underwear-type trunks. And his tag team partner, he was taller, but probably about the same weight, but not the same size, looking size or whatever, right? But this guy was like 50-some-odd years old. 50 some odd years old. And he comes out and he is having the time of his life. And he gets in the ring. He does all the moves and he's enjoying himself. And I was just like, man, this is amazing. And as soon as I saw him, my homeboy looked back at me and said, if they can do this, we can do this. And literally the week, well, the week that I said that, man, I got orders to deploy. Of

SPEAKER_00 30:30

course you did.

SPEAKER_03 30:31

I got orders to deploy. And so my best friend joined. And then when I came back from that deployment with all the stuff that happened, when he, I came back from that and I joined. And wrestling has been my outlet since then, ever since then. And it's so crazy. It is so great. It

SPEAKER_00 30:51

is giving you stress relief. It's giving you something to do and you're exercising. Absolutely. It kind of filled everything. Wow. It

SPEAKER_03 31:00

filled my cup. It fulfilled my cup.

SPEAKER_00 31:05

Yeah. Well, no wonder you can look at the positive. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. It's been

SPEAKER_03 31:09

amazing ever since.

SPEAKER_00 31:12

So you've been doing that and has that allowed you to travel? Yeah. So you're now in Germany. Yeah. So you've been doing it in Germany.

SPEAKER_03 31:19

I've been wrestling in Germany. This is what allowed me to get to Switzerland and different parts of Germany. I've wrestled in Berlin, Leipzig, Munich, Zurich. I've wrestled in Dresden.

SPEAKER_01 31:32

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 31:33

Yeah. I'm working on Italy, France, and Spain right now.

SPEAKER_00 31:42

And so you and your best friend are both being able to do it.

SPEAKER_03 31:44

Yeah, he's actually come over here a couple of times. Well, once. He's came over here once, and he's wrestled me on the promotions that I work for, some of the promotions that I work for, so it was pretty cool. Yeah, he's actually in the States wrestling now. I think he might have a show coming up this weekend or something like that.

SPEAKER_00 32:03

I'll put that in the show notes.

SPEAKER_03 32:04

I got everything on... Facebook, you can follow me on Facebook. I have a wrestling page. This name is literally J5, J-A-Y, and the number five. On Instagram, J-A-Y, five, the number, and then M-A-S-H-T-H-E-M-A-T, J5 Mash the Mat. YouTube, I have a YouTube channel. It is, if you go on YouTube and look up J5 Wrestler, you'll find my matches and everything.

SPEAKER_00 32:39

All right. Well, this was awesome. Thank you for this.

SPEAKER_03 32:42

Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 32:45

Jay's story just leaves me in awe. Divorce was tough, but he found strength in his friends, his father, and his faith in God. He's co-parenting beautifully with his ex-wife, channeling his energy in professional wrestling, and shining bright no matter what. His advice hit deep. Be patient with yourself, with your feelings, and your decisions. Stand still, know God's got the battle, and keep shining your light. That's a reminder for all of us, hard times don't dim your glow, they shape it. If Jay's journey moved you, drop me a line. I'd love to hear from you or connect through the links in the show notes. Please follow Jay's wrestling journey. His Instagram is linked in the show notes as well. And follow the show wherever you're listening so you never miss an episode. Please leave a review. It helps more than you know. And share this episode with friends who might need to hear it. Until the next chapter, keep listening for what connects us the most.