Becoming Unstoppable - Rise, Thrive and Lead with Impact
Becoming Unstoppable is the go-to podcast for fierce female entrepreneurs ready to expand their empires with unapologetic growth, energy mastery, and bold, soul-aligned strategy. Hosted by mindset coach and manifesting queen Rachel Jackson, each episode delivers big energy, real talk, and magnetic tools to help you scale with purpose and become truly unstoppable.
Becoming Unstoppable - Rise, Thrive and Lead with Impact
The Validation Breakthrough – Ditch Validation and Lead Like a CEO
The Validation Breakthrough – Ditch Validation and Lead Like a CEO
Seeking validation: the silent business killer you never knew was holding you back.
From the moment we arrive in the world, we’re taught to look outside ourselves for approval – parents soothing our emotions, teachers marking our work, bosses evaluating our performance. It creates a pattern of dependence that clashes completely with the mindset needed for entrepreneurial success.
When this need for validation follows you into business, it shows up in sneaky ways. You might find yourself constantly refreshing to check likes and comments instead of focusing on real connection. You might water down your message out of fear of judgement from family or old colleagues. You might even hold back from fully claiming your expertise, waiting for someone to give you permission. This is classic ‘good girl syndrome’ – the deep-rooted urge to be perfect, likeable, and validated by others.
The breakthrough happens when you realise your dream clients aren’t looking for perfection. They want authenticity, connection, and real solutions. They want you in your full power – not a diluted, ‘safe’ version still seeking approval. There are three powerful shifts that will help you break free: focus on building genuine connections rather than chasing likes; embrace full, unapologetic authenticity; and adopt the ‘let them’ mindset – people will always have something to say, so give them something extraordinary to talk about.
This isn’t just about strategy – it’s about freedom. Releasing the need for external validation unlocks a whole new level of success on your terms. Your business becomes the vehicle for the impact you’ve always dreamed of, serving the people who truly need your magic.
So, are you ready for The Validation Breakthrough and to lead like the CEO you were born to be?
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For more from me go to https://www.racheljackson.uk/
Also if you want to learn more about manifestation listen to my other podcast Soulful Badass on all listening platforms or click below.
Remember, it is your time to become unstoppable 💫
Rachel xxx
Is your search for validation blocking you from your greatest business success? In this week's Become an Unstoppable podcast, we are going to be diving into this topic. We're going to be looking at how society trains you to look for validation and actually tries to regulate your emotions, and how this can be relating in your business, and also how you can turn it around so that you can ultimately attract the best business success for you. Now let's dive in to this exciting topic and see what comes out on the other side for you. Welcome to this week's episode.
Speaker 1:I'm so excited to cover this topic because there is so many women that I work with that struggle with this need for validation, and not just who I work with, people who I talk to. All of the time it comes up more than you realize and when we think of validation, we often have this craving for it without us realizing, and sometimes we can think that we're not looking for it in our business. But actually it's coming out in lots of different ways and we're going to be uncovering them in today's episode. But one thing I want to put out at first is take the pressure off. If you have been seeking validation, just give yourself a nice little hug and say it's OK, because that is exactly what you've been taught to do your entire life. Society trains us to have this need for validation and have this need that comes outside of us, and it starts from when we're really young, when we're a baby and when we're a toddler. And when we're a young child, our parents nurture us. Our parents look after us. If we have negative emotions or we're upset for any reason, we then get comforted, we then get cuddled and told not to cry, or we get shouted at and told not to cry. Whichever way, whether it's positive or negative, there's that connotation that you will be soothed by an adult, you will be taken care of by an adult, whether that's you're hungry, so then they provide food, whether it's something emotional, there is always that providing coming from outside of you.
Speaker 1:Even now, when children are bored, what do you do? You find them a solution. You give them an iPad, you do something to give them that release from being bored. We don't allow them time to figure it out on their own. And this is what happens, naturally, and it doesn't come from a harsh place. It just comes from a parental loving place. Sometimes it can be a little bit harsher. But it doesn't matter whether you had a negative or a positive upbringing. You will still have made this connection with different patterns in your life. And what this does is it takes away that level of you being able to self-soothe and you being able to bring yourself what you need from within.
Speaker 1:Now it also comes to validation. If you think of validation, throughout your school life you were given reports. They were given to your parents. You were told whether that was good or bad and what success looked like for you. You were then put through exams and were told whether you passed or you failed or you did well. Your grades were looked at by other people and deemed whether they were good enough. And then we think we brought into adulthood and suddenly we're okay. But what happens? We end up in a job. We're given work appraisals, we get a boss at the end of the year who tells us how good they think we are, and sometimes they can be personal attacks if you have a really bad boss. So again, it creates this level of you requiring validation from outside of you so you can start to see over the years why you maybe don't look inside to get that validation and that confidence and that ability to regulate your own energy, your own moods and your own success levels, you can start to see why it isn't your fault. But as well, now that you start to become aware, that's where you can release yourself from these ties. You don't need to take them forward and you also don't need to have them in your business. What all this conditioning does to us is it really creates that need within us to be good. It creates that need within us to be liked.
Speaker 1:How many of us suffer from the good girl syndrome? How many of us really want to be perfectionists? How many of us are scared of failing first time? Because you don't want to look silly, you don't want to be shown up, you don't want to have that bad report card, you don't want to be the one that messes up in PE and everybody laughs at you. That is the feeling that we are bringing into our adult life because we don't release those emotions. Remember, we've not been taught how to regulate our own emotions. So when we feel something now that feels embarrassing or feels scary, we go back to those places where we were laughed at as kids. We go back to those places where we made a mistake on our spelling test and we were told off. Or we were told, oh my God, you only got nine and you should have got 10. Which one did you get wrong? Instead of looking at which nine did you get right, which one did you get wrong?
Speaker 1:And all these things create this need in us to be liked to be good and we're constantly craving this. And when we have this ability in us to be liked and good and this need and this craving, we bring it into our business, and what it looks like is we start to want more likes rather than connection. So, when you think, if you post, are you constantly looking for the likes, constantly looking for the numbers? Are you constantly looking if somebody's commented good things? Are you worried if people comment anything bad? Those types of things are proof that you have this need for validation, you have this need to be good. And also, does it scare you? Do you sometimes not post in case somebody puts something on that's negative? Have you actually had a trolling comment and how did you deal with it? How did you feel? Did you take it in personally? Did you just think, well, they're an idiot? How did you feel with that?
Speaker 1:Because that is a sign as well that that validation and that fear of being seen can be coming up and sometimes we stop ourselves putting things out there for that fear of being seen or being targeted, being trolled, so it really keeps us from posting and posting our truth out to our ideal clients. They're the ones who need to hear us. They're the ones that need to be seeing our posts, seeing that energy, seeing our enthusiasm. They don't need a perfectionist, they don't need a good girl, they don't need someone who's worried about being liked. They need someone who gets their message out there loud and proud, so that they can connect with it and buy something from you. That is what they're waiting for. If you've been stopping yourself from posting from fear of being seen, you might have been thinking not just about trolling, but you might have been thinking what will family say? What are they going to say when they see this post? Is it too risky? Do I seem like I've gone a little bit mental? Are they going to be thinking I've changed? What are family going to say? That's another big sign that you've been looking for that validation.
Speaker 1:Then there's the other bit like are you scared of posting on your personal Facebook page? This was a massive one for me. When I started my business, I didn't want to put anything on my personal Facebook page. I kept it all down for two reasons For fear of being judged by people who are living near. I don't see these people often. They may be Facebook friends, but I was fearing being judged by them and then fear of family seeing it. So it was a double whammy when it comes to personal Facebook, and this is what was bothering me. So that was that need for validation, that need to be liked, that need to be seen as being credible as that person that I always was, rather than the person I was becoming, because I had changed, my identity had changed, everything had changed. I talked differently, I showed up differently, but I was scared of showing that to the world around me. I was scared of showing them who I used to be and who I was now, and that really put a fear in me and it also stopped me posting in my business. Me. And it also stopped me posting in my business. And as soon as I posted on my personal Instagram, I got two extra clients. So it really was me holding myself back, not just for me, but for those clients that could have probably worked with me two years earlier, which is such a shame when you think about it, but everything works out for you, so let's not dwell on it. But if this is you, please start to take action in the right direction and I'll tell you how in a minute.
Speaker 1:The other one that comes up for a lot of entrepreneurs who are starting out, because when you start out you have probably got a side hustle. You might have something that's alongside your corporate role and it might fill you with fear. What will work say? Unless your work has it in your contract that you cannot have a business on the side, you can do whatever the hell you like in your own hours. It does not matter what they say. So one have a little look over your contract, see if you need to tell anybody about your side hustle. If you do, just make them aware and get posting in your own time. Please do not worry about what work will say. This was a big fear of mine at the beginning.
Speaker 1:Again, get yourself to a point. You are allowed to do it. You do not need to seek permission from anyone. And this is the big shift when we move out of this conditioned mindset into the entrepreneur CEO mindset. You stop asking for permission, you stop asking for others to say this is okay and you stop asking for somebody else to tell you you are the expert in your field, because that is like getting the A star on the report card oh well, I'm the expert. Now who is going to turn around and say that to you? Absolutely no one. You have to claim that shit. You have to claim it and say this is me, I am the expert in what I do and this is why you should be working with me. That is the energy a CEO steps into, not waiting for permission, waiting for the results outside to say she's good enough to go and do it. She goes and does it anyway and the results follow.
Speaker 1:So really start to see. Are you waiting for the results to come before you start moving and being full of yourself, or are you being full of yourself and knowing that the results will come? That is where success lies. Being full of yourself and knowing that the results will come. That is where success lies. Being full of yourself and knowing that the results will come. So it's all good and well. Knowing that you have these, knowing that you're constantly looking for permission, knowing that you're constantly looking for likes and validation. Knowing that you have this good girl routine, how do you break it? Let's dive into that.
Speaker 1:So, if you're looking to break this, there is a couple of ways to start to do this. One focus on connection. You will already have your raving fans. You will already have people who absolutely love what you do and cannot get enough of it, who talk about you to other people, who buy your products and then talk about you to other people. Those are the people you really want to focus on. Those are the people you want to really focus that energy in on so that you can create more of it.
Speaker 1:When you're looking for likes, what you're doing is focusing on your energy wider and all it does is grow the surface level. So you're attracting the surface level likes, but they're not buying, they're not connecting with you fully. Yes, they're liking, moving on, liking, moving on. So there's so many people on Instagram, tiktok. They might have millions of followers, but they are not making the money that they could be making because they are focusing on building likes instead of connection. Connections buy products, connections, buy from you.
Speaker 1:So please have a think Are you focusing on likes and disregarding those connections that you've already got, or are you focusing on building that brand within those people that you have already got there, who already love what you do, and really celebrate those people? So when I'm talking about focus, you start to look at oh my God, I have 10 people who absolutely love what I do, who bought all this stuff. This is incredible. And you pour your energy like that and you're like I have these 10 amazing people and I know there is so many more like them. I attract more and more people like them, whereas if you post something and then you're like oh, it's got 20 likes, but that's all. That is a different energy. Oh, it's got 20 likes.
Speaker 1:This one's only been seen 200 times. I'm only getting 200 views on TikTok. I'm only getting this. That is where you are putting that out into the universe. So, focusing on what you are getting that connection, you are getting those likes, you are getting those comments you are getting and focus on that and allow it to grow. Don't focus on what you're not getting, because if you're looking for bigger likes, bigger, wider reach, then, yes, that will come by focusing on what you are already getting. Where it won't come with is if you are focusing on I've only got 200 views or I've only got so many likes. That is where you're saying I don't have enough and the universe is creating I don't have enough and the universe is creating, I don't have enough, so one.
Speaker 1:Why are you looking for the likes over the connection? You've already got these people telling you you're amazing, you're good enough. Why are you searching for the gap? That is because you are always craving the external validation. You are always craving that more likes. The more people looking at you, the more people saying yes, you are good enough, yes, you are all right. You've got to start to believe it for yourself. You've got to start to know that you are. You've got to start to know what you are putting out and really believe in yourself and allow that to grow.
Speaker 1:The next thing is be completely authentic. Your dream clients are waiting for you. But if you imagine your dream life, you imagine your dream business and you think of how you are operating at that level, those clients are waiting for you now. Those clients are waiting for you to show up. But what's happening is they're already there waiting. They're there waiting to buy from you. They're there waiting to see your post. They're there waiting for your energy to gravitate towards them, because they are asking for that energy to come towards them.
Speaker 1:When you are running your business and not being authentic in your posts or not showing up as you should be, you are not in alignment with the clients that are looking for you. So you are waiting for the results to come so that you can prove to your family look, I've done it, but you're operating in your old self. You're operating in a self that's hiding, in a self that's needing their validation before you'll be fully authentic online. So the people who are here that are aligned with your dream life, that are aligned clients that want to work with you, are waiting for you to step into the identity of you in that dream life of you who shows up fully, of you, who doesn't care what her family thinks about her posts on her business, because that woman knows that her family friends on Facebook are not the ideal clients. Her ideal clients are there, waiting for her energy to speak.
Speaker 1:So if you are finding that you are in this misalignment, you need to start showing up more authentically. You need to be yourself online. You need to show who you are. You need to put your energy out there. All the flaws, all the mishaps, all the aha moments, it doesn't matter. They're wanting you. They're wanting realness. They're not wanting perfection. They're not wanting an AI version of you. They are wanting you. They're wanting that energy. They're wanting who you are at your core and what you can do and what you can bring for them.
Speaker 1:So if you are not showing up like that because you're worried about what people in your family will say or people around you will say, please start to have a think. Your connection is meant to be with those dream clients. Show up as the version that they need. They're the ones who need you the most. Please start showing up for them now. Have them as your why.
Speaker 1:That is what I do. So I make my why bigger. I make my why bigger than the embarrassment that I might feel that someone might judge me nearby. I just have to be me because I've got women that I need to help. I have to be me because there's women in this life who are meant to have absolutely rock star businesses, because once they have that business and success, they can go and help a hell of a lot more women than I ever could. So it really has to be that I have to get over my fear, my fear of being the good girl, my fear of needing the validation, my fear of being imperfect. I need to get over that, to get myself out there so I can serve who I'm meant to be serving, and you are exactly the same. So start to be authentic. Be fully you and be the fully you. That is your dream version. Be the fully you. That is the CEO running her business like a badass. That is who you need to step into and show up as online Now. Lastly, the last thing to help you get over this is use the Mel Robbins.
Speaker 1:Let them theory. You do not need to worry about what anybody else thinks of you. You do not need to worry about being judged, talked about. If you are, let them, just let them. If people have something to say, they are going to say it regardless. They are going to say it. Whether you're being the good girl, they are going to say it. Whether you are trying to be liked by them, they are going to say it anyway. So be a badass, be successful and let them go say what the hell they want.
Speaker 1:You don't need to prove anything to anyone else and, most of all, allow yourself to be the most talked about person in your family, because, really, what you want, you want them to be talking about your success. You really want them to be talking about your success and you want them to be talking about how much you've turned your life around. So, if you want them to talk about that when you have the good results, the only way to allow that to happen is to let them talk about you. Whatever state your business is in, you've got to get comfortable with being talked about, because if you're only looking to be talked about when things are good, you're wanting a report card, you are wanting the A star. Allow yourself to be talked about when things can't be seen by them, when the success isn't apparent to them as much. Allow it. Let them, because one day, very, very soon, once you start stepping into this energy, you will be showing them how much you have actually changed your life round by freeing yourself from that crap that they are putting out there, and you can start to show them how to live in a better way. So please let them way. So please let them.
Speaker 1:These are the three ways to get over this validation in your business and allow a lot more success. So remember. Focus on connection, focus on whatever's going right in your business. Focus on having more of that, not what you're lacking. Then be more authentic. That's not what you're lacking, then be more authentic.
Speaker 1:Get yourself out there. Be raw, real, unfiltered. Whatever that looks like for you. Be authentic. Be true to yourself. Nobody wants an AI, watered down version of you. Get yourself out there, finally, just let them. You do not need to worry about what is gracing anybody else's lips. All you need to worry about is that you are gracing your ideal client's lips, and you are only going to do that by getting yourself out there, being authentic and dropping the good girl act, because nobody wants to buy from that type of person anymore. They just don't want it. You know yourself from school the good girl was always the, the annoying one. Like you, don't want to be around her all the time. So why are you trying to be her? Just be who you are. Be that person, love who you are and watch everything fall into place.
Speaker 1:So I cannot wait to hear your thoughts on today's episode and please come and join the Facebook group or come and join the Telegram chat, but let's chat this through, because there's so much goodness here and I know so many women suffer with this validation piece. So please come and tell me how this has impacted you. And also, if you really want to break this for good, make sure you are joining Visibility Queen. We are going to be diving into topics just like this to free yourself, to have the most unlimited success you have ever had in your life. You are not going to be bothered about what anybody thinks of you. You are going to be putting your crown on and putting yourself out there and allowing success to flow in. So if you want to be part of that, come and join Visibility Queen. The doors are open and we are going to be diving into that starting on the 29th of May. So make sure you get your place.
Speaker 1:But before we finish, I'm going to take a becoming unstoppable affirmation card and see what it is for today. I attract abundance because I know I am deserving of it. I attract abundance because I know I am deserving of it. This card is perfect for this message today. You don't attract it because you're good. You don't attract it because you're seeking validation. You just attract abundance because you're deserving of it. You were born deserving. You're deserving now. You deserve success. You deserve to be the CEO of your dreams. You are that woman. Now Stop looking for other people's proof and allow yourself to step into it. Have the best week and catch me next week on Becoming Unstoppable and know that you really were born to be unstoppable. And now is your time to shed that good girl and let yourself shine. Bye, thank you.
