Becoming Unstoppable - Rise, Thrive and Lead with Impact
Becoming Unstoppable is the go-to podcast for fierce female entrepreneurs ready to expand their empires with unapologetic growth, energy mastery, and bold, soul-aligned strategy. Hosted by mindset coach and manifesting queen Rachel Jackson, each episode delivers big energy, real talk, and magnetic tools to help you scale with purpose and become truly unstoppable.
Becoming Unstoppable - Rise, Thrive and Lead with Impact
Is Your Love Language Blocking Your Business Success
Have you ever noticed how some relationships feel effortless, while others feel like constant work—even when there’s love? The missing piece might be your love language.
While younger generations talk freely about it, many of us entering our 40s weren’t taught to recognise these powerful emotional patterns that shape how we give and receive love—not just in romantic relationships, but in friendships, family dynamics, and business too.
Love languages are energetic blueprints that influence how we connect. The five core types are: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch.
Most of us have a primary and secondary language. The revelation often comes when we realise we tend to express love in the way we want to receive it—not necessarily in the way others need to feel it.
This mismatch can create silent disconnection. In my own relationship, my love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation. My partner leads with acts of service. So while I offer affection and heartfelt words (which don’t quite land for him), he’s constantly doing helpful things (that I appreciate, but don’t fully register as love). Without awareness, it’s easy to feel unseen or unappreciated—on both sides.
But here’s the part most people overlook: these patterns don’t stop at your personal life. They spill into your business.
If your love language is words of affirmation, you might find yourself needing external validation—client feedback, engagement, or praise—to feel secure.
If it’s acts of service, you might overdeliver, struggle with boundaries, and feel resentful when your energy isn’t reciprocated.
If you lead with receiving gifts, you could take sales rejections personally.
If it’s quality time, disengaged clients or quiet group programmes might leave you feeling unseen or like you're not making an impact.
And if it’s physical touch, the online world can feel flat or disconnected—leaving you craving real, embodied connection.
By understanding how your love language shows up, you can stop unconsciously expecting your business to love you back in a certain way—and instead, build one that honours who you are, how you thrive, and what truly nourishes you.
Your desires aren’t too much. They’re your map.
And when you honour them—everything shifts. Your relationships deepen, your business becomes more fulfilling, and your success feels far more aligned.
If you’re ready to uncover how your love language is influencing how you communicate, lead, and connect—this episode will open your eyes to a whole new level of clarity and confidence.
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For more from me go to https://www.racheljackson.uk/
Also if you want to learn more about manifestation listen to my other podcast Soulful Badass on all listening platforms or click below.
Remember, it is your time to become unstoppable 💫
Rachel xxx
Welcome to today's podcast. Today, I am going to dive into such an interesting topic with you, and this is one that you might not expect. So the question is do you know what makes you feel truly loved, like deeply seen and safe? Today, we're going to be diving into love languages, why they matter, how they shape your relationships and how not asking for what you need can hold you back, and how it even shows up in your business. Yeah, you heard me right Love languages will hold you back in your business without you even realizing. But we're going to get to the bottom of that today. So who's ready?
Speaker 1:Firstly, what is a love language? You hear young people talk about this all the time, like suddenly they just all got this book on what love language is. And if you are someone of my age, which is a lady just into her 40s, love language was just not a thing that we talked about. It was nothing that we were taught. But actually I've been inspired lately to start diving into this and it is so interesting and it has blown my mind. As someone who studies people, how they operate, how they engage, how they communicate. I absolutely love this topic. Engage, how they communicate. I absolutely love this topic and it really has helped me discover some self-awareness in my own life and my own business, and I am going to be taking this forward. But I couldn't do that without sharing it with you. So here goes.
Speaker 1:First of all, love languages are energetic ways that we give and receive love so energetics. I am all over. It just sold me at that. But there's five different types of love language and we all have different ones. We have a main one and then we have a secondary one that we always go to. So it's about discovering what is your main love language and then what is your secondary love language. So the five types are words of affirmation people saying things to you. People saying you look gorgeous. People saying you look nice. People saying they love you. That is really important to someone who has words of affirmation as their first love language. Second one is acts of service. You might be someone who really loves when somebody does something for you. They do something around the house, or they do something that just feels really special, or they make an effort. You know they pick your friends up on a night out or whatever. It is Acts of service that's really important to some people. Third one is receiving gifts. Some people absolutely love to receive gifts and that is part of their love language. They will either give or receive them, and it really is special to them. They put lots of thought into it. It makes them feel important, makes them feel truly loved. So receiving gifts could be one of your love languages. Four is quality time that time where you get to connect, that time where you really make an effort to spend time talking, being with someone. Quality time could be so important to you. Have a think if that one's for you.
Speaker 1:And number five physical touch liking to be touched. Whether that's holding hands, whether you just need to be linking arms, whether you love to have your arm stroked, your partner to wrap his arm around you or her arm around you, whatever that is, whether it's sexual touch as well, physical touch is super important, and the ones that are really key for me is physical touch is huge. That is my main love language, and my second one is words of affirmation. It's really important. You start to look at what are your top one or two and really, how do you use that to fuel your love? So what fills you up fastest? Is it words, is it time, is it touch? Is it acts or is it gifts? It is really important to start to understand why this matters. We often show love in the way that we want to receive it, and this is why it becomes so important to me. Lately I started to notice me and Mike were going about things slightly differently and it intrigued me why. So when I started to look into it and I started to understand our love language, as they are different. So for me, like I said, physical touch and words of affirmation Mike's really strong love language is acts of service. That is huge for him and he's always doing things for me, but the thing is we flood each other with the love language that we need, rather than the one that the person needs to receive.
Speaker 1:I give Mike words of affirmation all of the time. I'm constantly telling him he looks fit, constantly telling him he looks really good or like when he's working out. I'm giving him credit for it. I'm constantly giving him them, words of affirmation, and he is really uncomfortable with taking compliments. So I'm giving him all of these words that I need to hear, whereas actually it's making him uncomfortable and he does all these acts of service for me, which is great, but sometimes to the point where he gets stressed because he's doing so much. And I keep telling him you don't need to do that for me, but for him it's his way of showing love, it's his way of showing his appreciation for me. We need to find a balance where one he can calm down his acts of service and he doesn't have to feel guilty or feel like he needs to do so much.
Speaker 1:And for me, how do I get more of those words of affirmation from someone who's quite internal? So as an introvert, I know he does these things and I can see it through the access service, but he's not always vocal or as vocal as I would be. So it's not just an introvert, extrovert thing, it's a love language thing too, just to add an extra unique dynamic to it, where you've got to start to understand your partner and imagine, if you have different love languages, how that can show up for you. And it's not about trying to change the other person, it's not about trying to change you, it's about how to understand each other so that you can cooperate and also get the best and feel quite loved. So if your partner's love language doesn't match, your efforts might just go unnoticed or unreceived if you're not aware of them.
Speaker 1:This was causing a little bit of friction for me and I was starting to need a bit more physical touch and need a little bit more in some areas. And that was once I started to investigate this. It was trying to understand that it wasn't that things were going unnoticed or unreceived. We were just not communicating in a similar way. So real intimacy can start when you understand this and it's not about assuming, it's not about then deciding what you think the other person's love language is it's you can start to ask questions to understand it. So when I was realizing that I was craving words and touch, I stopped resenting what I wasn't getting and I was able to communicate that and I was able to say it in a way that Mike could understand. It was about me being able to communicate how I wanted love shown to me and him being able to communicate how he wanted love shown to him, rather than assuming it was the same, because that's the worst thing. We often assume we're all the same and we're not. We're so different.
Speaker 1:There's real danger in not asking for what you want in these areas and not having these conversations around the dynamics, and your partner might think you're a little bit crazy asking about love languages, but you can do it in a way that actually doesn't feel weird. You can ask certain questions around how you would prompt it out of them. So, for instance, it would be something like do you like compliments from me? Does that feel good to you, or do you like it when we cuddle a lot? All these types of things you can ask what they're like without coming out. Do you have this certain love language? Because that can be weird and they don't have to know what you're on about.
Speaker 1:What's the danger of you not asking for what you need? One as a manifesting coach, we know there's a huge danger in that If you don't ask for what you need, the universe will just bring it in a way that you don't want. So it's about really getting clear and standing in your power, because your silence will just breed resentment. If you're not getting what you need in a relationship, it's going to cause issues and it is going to cause this resentment to build up. And this is not only in your relationships with your partner, it's in all your relationships, wherever you get love, and especially in your business. So remember, we're going to get on to that, but it really does breed resentment in lots of different ways and that can flow into your business too. So when we don't ask, we assume we expect others just to know, and then that really does start to cause arguments. This resentment builds up because we do think, well, I do this for everyone else, why do they not do it for me? It's not their first thought to do that for you. If it isn't their love language, they are just not going to be coming from that lens of the world. So it's about you communicating what you need, not what you expect others to just know. It can also lead to that disconnect and disappointment and even burnout.
Speaker 1:Your love language might be acts of service, or you might have had a parent whose love language was acts of service. So they really give you love and praise for when you did things for them, for when you showed up as that good girl, for when you were the one that was useful in the household. That might have been bred into you at a young age and it might not feel good to you, and if it doesn't feel good to you that eventually can lead to burnout. But what you will have done from a young age is understand that being needed, being useful, equals love, and that can really be detrimental if you're not used to having that as your love language. If that isn't what gives you love, if that isn't what you need, it's just going to become service, not acts of service. It's service and really belittling yourself. So it's starting to understand where are these patterns showing up in your life and business?
Speaker 1:And your desires aren't too much. They're a map to more alignment. So remember, what you need is okay. You're allowed to say it, you're allowed to communicate it, you're allowed to get what you want. Even if your partner doesn't have the same love language as you, you can still ask for what you want and try and align together. Please know that your desires are just exactly that your desires. You are meant to have them. They are not too much. Do not shy away from this and don't just take on somebody else's to make everyone else feel better, because your love language still needs to be honoured. And remember this is the way that you express love, it's the way that you give it, it's the way that you want to get it back. So it's really important because it is energetics and it does make a difference.
Speaker 1:So how do you spot it in other people. Now, this is the key, isn't it? Other people, and this could be partners, it could be parents, it could be people around you, could be clients. It is really important to start to think about how you spot other people's love languages. One so that you can either communicate with them better, or two so that you can see whether you want to be together. If there's a big difference and you can't come together on things or you can't communicate in a certain way, then that often gives you some red flags. So it's really starting to think of how do you spot it in other people.
Speaker 1:Firstly, how do they show up for you? What do they do for you? What type of things do they do? Is it all words of affirmation, lots of compliments, lots of I love you's, or do they want that real connection? Do they want time where you're not on your phone and you've really given them that connection? Or do they want to give you acts of service? Or are they flooding you with gifts? How are they showing up? Is it physical attention that they're giving you? What is it that they're doing in their everyday that you can start to spot what type of love language they have and people show their love language in their language. Yes, it comes out in their language. So learn it like a dialect. Learn it like a way that they speak from their heart.
Speaker 1:People will talk about service, they will talk about gifts, they will talk about affection. These words will come out of their mouth if it is part of their love language. And the good thing is, once you understand someone's love language, you'll stop taking things personally. You will not think, oh, they're not giving me attention, they must not like me. No, they're not giving you attention because they've done an act of service for you. Yeah, they're not giving you the full attention whilst they're sitting on the sofa, but them thinking that they emptied the dishwasher, took the kids here, did this, did that, did the other. That is their act of service to you.
Speaker 1:Is there a balance where you can say I really appreciate you doing that, but also I would like a bit of time with you. So how do we map that in? How do we get what each other wants and needs? Because once you stop taking it personally and start to see it's just how somebody else expresses love, then you can start to understand how it works and you can start to understand whether it's good habits or bad habits, because if it's bad habits and people are just doing things that don't feel connection and don't feel like love, then you can start to understand is it going to work for you?
Speaker 1:So how do you communicate to get what you really want? And this is in everyday life. You've got to be able to communicate your desires. You've got to be able to communicate your boundaries. You've got to be able to communicate what you need. How do you do it? Firstly, it's what you say I feel really loved when you dot, dot, dot. I feel really loved when you give me a cuddle. Before, I felt really loved when you took the kids to swim in and let me have a bath. I felt really loved when you showed up and supported me in my business and give me that cheer on.
Speaker 1:Think about how you describe this. I feel really loved when you do what. And then you can ask. You can ask for what you want or ask for what they need. A good question here how do you feel most supported by me? And then practice Give and receive in both languages, yours and theirs. So it helps you be able to do things that they need and things that you need, and it's practice on both sides. But practice can really help and also it'll help strengthen that communication and strengthen that love within whatever relationship you've got. But love isn't a guessing game. It's a dialogue, it's a back and forth. So please communicate. Either say it I feel really loved when ask how do you feel most supported by me, or practice give and take in both love languages.
Speaker 1:So let's get to the juicy bit now how does this leak into your business? Your love language actually shapes the way you run your business and receives validation. So think about that. You might be running your business completely oblivious to what your love language is and how it's showing up, but once you've figured this out one, you can start to run a business around your love language so that you're getting exactly what you need. And two, you can start to see where some negative habits have been coming in, where you've been trying to crave something that other people can't necessarily give you. So here's the test to see how has it been running into your business.
Speaker 1:Have you been craving words of affirmation? You might unconsciously seek constant praise or feel wobbly if you don't get feedback. Are you constantly looking at Instagram or TikTok and looking at how many likes you've got, looking at how many comments you've got. If you've put a post out there and nobody's commented, is that bothering you? Is that really upsetting you? Is that getting inside your head and thinking you're not good enough or you haven't done good enough in whatever it is? I've spent ages creating this post and nobody cares. It's because you're craving those words of affirmation and it's seeking into your business.
Speaker 1:Next, if acts of service is your love language, you might over deliver. Now, this links highly to the prostitute energy that I've talked about in the archetypes. But if you think about it, you might be over delivering. You might be charging less than you should be because you're giving too much out, or you might be expecting your clients to do the work as your way of receiving love back. So if you're thinking that you've done this excellent workbook and people aren't doing it correctly, that could be a way that you're feeling like they're not loving what you do and it might start to knock your confidence in your business. But it's just that they are not an acts of service type of person. So think about have you been over delivering or have you been expecting your clients to do certain things and you're thinking that is the way that shows you love. That's a good one to understand. Acts of service could be one of your leaks into your business.
Speaker 1:If your love language is gifts, you may feel hurt if people don't buy from you. You maybe see buying as a way of someone loving you back. What happens is if, say, for instance, people don't buy or there isn't enough people buy, your program or whatever it is, whether you create art, whether you create jewelry and you put a post out and people aren't buying, this is a way that you might doubt your confidence. You're linking your sales and people giving you money to your love language. It's a way that you are getting shown love, whereas actually you're not seeing sales as an energetic exchange, which love language is. But not everybody has gifts as love language. You cannot, then link your sales to your love language, because if sales don't go well, it could be lots of different things. It could be how you were showing up, it could be you haven't posted enough. Could be you haven't talked about it enough. It does not mean that people do not love what you do, so please don't let this seep into your business.
Speaker 1:If quality time is something that's your love language. You might want that deep engagement in your groups and programs and you might feel unseen when people don't participate. This could be something that, if you are running a program and people are quiet or people aren't engaging as much, you might feel like they're not getting the value or they're not loving what you do, whereas actually it could just be that they're not needing to have that deep connection that you have too. So start to think if you really do have quality time, how do you create containers and draw people in who want a similar deep connection to you? How do you use this to your advantage and as well, if yours is this deep engagement, this quality time inviting lots of people? So say you were running a program that had over 100 people, could you still get those elements of deep connection? And yes, you can. But think about how you're going to work that in. Think about how you're going to be able to build this into your business rather than having it as a blocker.
Speaker 1:And the last one physical touch. You might thrive on the in-person spaces or you might feel a little bit disconnected of running an online business. That doesn't mean it's not possible for you. Mine is physical touch and I have run my business online since 2020 and it's been great, but I have to understand that I need to win and throw in back. So I love comments, I love those words of affirmations and this is where the words of affirmations really comes in secondary for me, because I'm not getting the physical touch from being an online coach. But what I really do enjoy is those moments where you can start to have those connection points. So I've built in not only Zoom calls but also the back and forth on Telegram. So voice noting on Telegram is so important to me because it feels like you are more connected to the people that you're with. So, even though you're not getting that physical touch, you're still getting that connection and that deep engagement from people. So for me, that really works.
Speaker 1:But think about for you, how does that work? Is it so strong in you that you need more in-person retreats or in-person VIP days so that you can start to build these in? You might not even realize you're waiting for clients to love you back in your own language, but you will have done without realizing it. So please, if you have noticed some of these leaks in your business, think about how to shift them and we're going to move on to that. So ways to do this and to shift it.
Speaker 1:Ask yourself am I expecting emotional needs to be met through my business? Get clear on where validation is driving your decisions. Are you needing and craving things from people rather than standing in your queen energy and making your decisions from there? Are you making decisions from something that's going to help your love language thrive rather than go against you and try and create that internal safety so you don't need to rely on clients meeting your love needs? It's about you loving yourself, you knowing who you are in your business and you going for it so that you can help and support others. It is not about you filling a gap or filling a void of your worthiness. You are loved, you are enough, you are perfect and clients need you, but they need you in the fullest expression, which doesn't mean that you rely on them to meet these needs.
Speaker 1:When you know your love language, you can stop waiting for business to love you and start building one that loves you right. Love languages are so much more than romantic fluff. They're energetic patterns that shape how you lead, how you serve and how you receive. When you own yours and honour others, everything shifts from your relationships to your revenue. Dive into this topic, repeat this podcast, have another listen, think about what your love language is, think about how it's been seeping into your business and relationships and let's own our own so that we can honor ours, we can honor others and we can make relationships and our business and our revenue work for us. You've got this you were born to become unstoppable, and if you want to know more about love languages or how to work with me, please go to the links in the show notes and have the best week. You're amazing.
