S3 E9 Enter the Caterpillar: Chapter 5 of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland

Let's drift a bit deeper down the rabbit hole, the caterpillar awaits!

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Transcript

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Hello, Podcast Land! Welcome to the Comforting Voice Podcast. I'm your host Shasta Ray, and I'm joined in the studio by Murray the Cockatiel tonight. He's crawling around over there on the bird stand. He had some bird seed, and it looks like he's ramping up to get into trouble. So I'm not sure what he thinks he's gonna do, but I'm sure we will be hearing from him soon enough. He's got that look on his face. Okay, are you guys ready for the weekend? Oh my gosh, I have been busy. I don't know about you guys. I'm tired, and then suddenly I got hit with this huge burst of excitement. You guys have been busy out there. Holy cow! Actually, guys, we just hit Alright, I'm gonna go get him. Come here, Murr. Good bird. Okay, and we're back. And Murray is now crawling on me and he's not saying strange things. Were any of you able to understand what he was saying? Were you able to understand that phrase? I tell you what, if you know what he said, drop me a line, comfortingvoice.com, and there's a contact form there. Just write me a quick message and tell me what Murray just said. Or there's a little microphone at the bottom of the screen, and you can record a message through that on any device that you have that has a microphone on it. So your tablet, your phone, uh your computer if you have a microphone hooked up to it, whatnot. So yeah, drop me a message and let me know what you think Murray was saying, just for fun. So before we get any further into this episode, let's run through your sleep prep, your relaxation station, and get you ready to doze off to the next chapter of our book. So do whatever it is that you need to do to get comfortable, to get cozy, to get into that perfect sleeping position that you love most. And somewhere in the mix, as you're trying to figure that out, give yourself a really good stretch. Really reach into those muscles and all the way to the fingers and toes and wiggle your fingers and toes and then release the stretch, okay? And then after that, take at least two really good deep breaths of air. Slowly, you want to inhale roughly to the count of four, hold it to about the count of four, and then exhale to about the count of six. Between the stretch and that kind of breathing, you're not gonna make it to the end of the episode, I promise you. And I've got Murray with me right here, so we don't have to worry about him, you know, saying strange things and waking you up. So I was starting to tell you something. What was it? Oh yeah, you guys have been busy out there. So I went and checked the stats today, and two days ago we hit 2,500 all-time downloads. So now that we're over a hundred episodes and we're over 2,500 all-time downloads, it seems to me that there's some podcast apps that are showing me to more people, and we had a spike in new listeners. So welcome everybody that's new and that just discovered this podcast, and of course, welcome to those of you that have been hanging out with me all along. Everybody's welcome here, and I love hanging out with all of you. But today we increased our listener base from about 445 cities to four hundred ninety cities, and the country count went from 67 to 90. That's amazing. I love hanging out with each and every one of you twice a week. For all of the newcomers, we have Tuesday mishmash ramble chats full of goodness, full of non-triggering topics. I try to keep it mildly interesting and mildly upbeat, but not too much. We want you to doze off happy. That's it, it's a safe space. It's a fun place to hang out. And on Fridays, well, vintage bedtime stories. Speaking of which, we should get going on tonight's story. We are currently reading Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll, and tonight we're reading chapter five Advice from a Caterpillar The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time in silence. At last the caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth and addressed her in a languid, sleepy voice. Who are you? said the Caterpillar. This was not an encouraging opening for conversation. Alice replied rather shyly I hardly know, sir, just at present. At least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then. What do you mean by that? said the Caterpillar sternly. Explain yourself. I can't explain myself, I'm afraid, sir, said Alice, because I'm not myself, you see. I don't see, said the Caterpillar. I'm afraid I can't put it more clearly, Alice replied very politely, for I can't understand it myself to begin with, and being so many different sizes in a day is very confusing. It isn't, said the Caterpillar. Well perhaps you haven't found it so yet, said Alice, but when you have to turn into a chrysalis, you will some day, you know, and then after that into a butterfly. I should think you'll feel it a little bit strange, won't you? Not a bit, said the Caterpillar. Well perhaps your feelings may be different, said Alice. All I know is it would feel very strange to me. You said the Caterpillar contemptuously. Who are you? Which brought them again back to the beginning of the conversation. Alice felt a little irritated at the Caterpillar's making such very short remarks, and drew herself up and said very gravely I think you ought to tell me who you are first. Why? said the Caterpillar. Here was another puzzling question, and as Alice could not think of any good reason, and as the Caterpillar seemed to be in a very unpleasant state of mind, she turned away. Come back, the Caterpillar called after her. I've got something important to say. This sounded promising, certainly. Alice turned and came back again. Keep your temper, said the Caterpillar. Is that all? said Alice, swallowing down her anger as well as she could. No, said the Caterpillar. Alice thought she might as well wait, as she had nothing else to do, and perhaps after all it might tell her something worth hearing. For some minutes it puffed away without speaking, but at last it unfolded its arms and took the hookah out of its mouth again, and said So you think you're changed, do you? I'm afraid I am, sir, said Alice. I can't remember things as I used, and I don't keep the same size for ten minutes together. Can't remember what things, said the Caterpillar. Well, I tried to say how doff the little busy bee, but it all came out different, Alice replied in a melancholy voice. Repeat you are old, Father William, said the Caterpillar. Alice folded her hands and began. You are old, Father William, the young man said, and your hair has become very white, and yet you insistently stand on your head, do you think at your age it is right? In my youth, Father William replied to his son, I feared it might injure the brain, but now that I'm perfectly sure I have none, why I do it again and again. You are old, said the youth, as I mentioned before, and you have grown most uncommonly fat, yet you turned a back somersault in at the door. Pray, what is the reason of that? In my youth, said the sage, as he shook his grey locks, I kept all my limbs very supple. By the use of this ointment, one shilling the box, allow me to sell you a couple. You are old, said the youth, and your jaws are too weak for anything tougher than suet. Yet you finished the goose with the bones and the beak. Pray, how did you manage to do it? In my youth, said his father, I took to the law and argued each case with my wife, and the muscular strength which it gave to my jaw has lasted the rest of my life. You are old, said the youth. One would hardly suppose that your eye was as steady as ever, yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose. What made you so awfully clever? I have answered three questions and that is enough, said his father, don't give yourself airs. Do you suppose I can listen all day to such stuff? Be off, or I'll kick you downstairs. That is not said right, said the Caterpillar. Not quite right, I'm afraid, said Alice timidly. Some of the words have got altered. It is wrong from beginning to end, said the Caterpillar decidedly, and there was silence for some minutes. The caterpillar was the first to speak. What size do you want to be? it asked. Oh, I'm not particular as to size, Alice hastily replied. Only one doesn't like changing so often, you know. I don't know, said the caterpillar. Alice said nothing. She had never been so much contradicted in her life before, and she felt that she was losing her temper. Are you content now? said the caterpillar. Well, I should like to be a little larger, sir, if you wouldn't mind, said Alice. Three inches is such a wretched height to be. It is a very good height indeed, said the Caterpillar angrily, rearing himself up as it spoke. It was exactly three inches high. But I'm not used to it, pleaded poor Alice in a piteous tone, and then she thought to herself, I wish the creatures wouldn't be so easily offended. You'll get used to it in time, said the caterpillar, and it put the hookah back in its mouth and began smoking again. This time Alice waited patiently until it chose to speak again. In a minute or two the caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth, and yawned once or twice and shook itself. Then it got down off the mushroom and crawled away into the grass, merely remarking as it went, One side will make you grow taller and the other side will make you grow shorter. The other side of what? Alice thought to herself. Of the mushroom, said the caterpillar, just as if she had asked it aloud, and in another moment it was out of sight. Alice remained looking thoughtfully at the mushroom for a moment, trying to make out which were the two sides of it, and as it was perfectly round, she found this a very difficult question. However, at last she stretched her arms round as far as they would go, and broke off a bit of the edge with each hand. And now which is which, she said to herself, and nibbled a little of the right hand bit to try the effect. The next moment she felt a violent blow underneath her chin, it had struck her foot. She was a good deal frightened by this very sudden change, but she felt there was no time to be lost as she was shrinking rapidly, so she set to work at once to eat some of the other bit. Her chin was pressed so closely against her foot that there was hardly room to open her mouth, but she did it at last and managed to swallow a morsel of the left hand bit. Come, my hands free at last, said Alice in a tone of delight, which changed into alarm in another moment when she found that her shoulders were nowhere to be found. All she could see when she looked down was an immense length of neck which seemed to rise like a stalk out of a sea of green leaves that lie far below her. What can all that green stuff be? said Alice. And where have my shoulders gone to? And oh my poor hands, how is it I can't see you? She was moving them about as she spoke, but no result seemed to follow, except a little shaking among the distant green leaves. As there seemed to be no chance of getting her hands up to her head, she tried to get her head back down to her hands, and was delighted to find that her neck would bend about easily in any direction, like a serpent. She had just succeeded in curving it down into a graceful zigzag, and was going to dive in among the leaves, which she found to be nothing but the tops of the trees under which she had been wandering, when a sharp hiss made her draw back in a hurry. A large pigeon had flown into her face and was beating her violently with its wings. Serpent screamed the pigeon. I'm not a serpent, said Alice indignantly. Let me alone. Serpent, I say again, repeated the pigeon, but in a more subdued tone, and added with kind of a sob. I've tried every way and nothing seems to suit them. I haven't the least idea what you're talking about, said Alice. I've tried the roots of trees, I've tried banks, and I've tried hedges, the pigeon went on, without attending to her. But those serpents there's no pleasing them. Alice was more and more puzzled, but she thought there was no use in saying anything more till the pigeon had finished. And if it wasn't trouble enough hatching the eggs, said the pigeon, but I must be on the lookout for serpents night and day. Why I haven't had a week of sleep in these three weeks. I'm very sorry you've been annoyed, said Alice, who was beginning to see its meaning. And just as I'd taken the highest tree in the wood, continued the pigeon, raising its voice to a shriek, and just as I was thinking I would be free of them at last, they must needs comin' ringin' around from the sky. Serpents but I'm not a serpent, I tell you, said Alice. I'm a what are you? said the pigeon. I can see you're trying to invent something. I'm I'm a little girl, said Alice, rather doubtfully, as she remembered the number of changes she'd gone through that day. A likely story indeed, said the pigeon in a tone of the deepest content. I've seen a good many little girls in my time, but never one with such a neck like that. No, no, you're a serpent, and there's no use denying it. I suppose you'll be telling me next that you've never tasted an egg. I have tasted eggs, certainly, said Alice, who is a very truthful child. But little girls eat eggs quite as much as serpents do, you know. I don't believe it, said the pigeon. But if they do, why then they're kind of a serpent. That's all I can say. This was such a new idea to Alice that she was quite silent for a minute or two, which gave the pigeon the opportunity of adding, You're looking for eggs. I know that well enough, and what does it matter to me that you're a little girl or a serpent? It matters a good deal to me, said Alice hastily. But I'm not looking for eggs, as it happens, and if I was, I shouldn't want yours. I don't like 'em raw. Well be off then, said the pigeon in a sulky tone as it settled down again into its nest. Alice crouched down among the trees as well as she could, for her neck kept getting tangled amongst the branches, and every now and then she had to stop and untwist it. After a while she remembered that she still held the pieces of mushroom in her hands, and she set to work very carefully, nibbling first at one and then the other, and growing sometimes taller and sometimes shorter until she had succeeded in bringing herself down to her usual height. It was so long since she had been anywhere near the right size that it felt quite strange at first, but she got used to it in a few minutes and began talking to herself as usual. Come, there's half my plan done now. How puzzling all these changes are. I'm never sure what I'm going to be from one minute to another. However, I've got back to my right size. The next thing is to get to that beautiful garden. How is that to be done, I wonder? As she said this, she came suddenly upon an open place with a little house in it about four feet high. Whoever lives there, thought Alice, it'll never do to come upon them this size. Why I should frighten them out of their wits. So she began nibbling at the right hand bit again, and did not venture to go near the house till she had brought herself down to nine inches high. Well, this has been a fun chapter. I hope you're enjoying this book as much as I am. Murray has been a good bird tonight, and I guess that's all I've got for you. So until Tuesday, sleep tight, good night, and bye bye.