The Sisterhood Circle Podcast
Welcome to the Sisterhood Circle Podcast our vision is to connect us as women, cultivate an empowered community and build a network that inspires change in the world.
The Sisterhood Circle Podcast
“The Hidden Cost of Disconnection: Why Women Need Strength & Sisterhood | The Sisterhood Circle Podcast with Shivsy & Nats”
In this powerful episode of The Sisterhood Circle Podcast, hosts Shivsy & Nats explore the real reasons women are feeling more disconnected than ever—and how reclaiming strength and sisterhood is the answer.
Physical strength and social connection are essential components for women's health that significantly impact both current wellbeing and future quality of life. We explore why maintaining muscle mass as we age is crucial and how authentic female friendships provide vital emotional support.
• Women lose about 1% muscle mass yearly after age 30 if not strength training
• Strength training prevents joint issues, as seen with Margaret who avoided knee surgery at 70
• Muscle loss leads to reduced mobility, increased body fat, and diminished quality of life
• Mental resilience developed through strength training helps manage daily challenges
• Alcohol acts as a depressant affecting mental health, with 40% of women who attempt suicide having high blood alcohol levels
• Authentic female connections without alcohol provide genuine support when struggling
• Quality of relationships matters more than quantity – surround yourself with "energy givers"
• Being outdoors increases fighter cells in your body by 70%, providing mental health benefits
• Gut health directly impacts mental wellbeing with 90% of serotonin metabolized in the gut
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Hi, I'm Shivsi and I'm Nat, and together we are the Sisterhood Circle podcast.
Speaker 2:Our vision is to create connections with our community and inspire change in the world.
Speaker 1:So be sure to subscribe on whatever platform you're listening to to find out more.
Speaker 2:So let's dive into today's episode. Hi everyone, welcome back to episode five of our podcast. I can't believe that we're here already Absolutely flown in man, hasn't it? How much of a buzz has it been. It's been so good. Honestly, I'm having the best time ever. It's a pure buzz. We were all so nervous about getting started with this and now I'm like great, can I come to this show every week? You're like so do you want to do this every single week, Every single week? But no, it's been brilliant and so far, it's just been great to see how much support we've had from the community.
Speaker 1:The response has honestly been amazing, from followers to messages to likes. It's just been so nice to see such a great support at an early on stage. Yeah, it's only the beginning.
Speaker 2:Fantastic yeah, that's when we're at the beginning fantastic. So I want to just dive into, like this week's topic. So our topic this week is why women need to be strong, but also why we need to be connected, and I would say it's something that both you and I are wildly passionate about.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's huge I think it's something that doesn't ever really get talked about. I think, as women like it gets talked about when it comes to like results and all that kind of stuff, but they never really look at the importance of what being strong does for you and the importance of actually just being connected in groups of women that have got your absolute back and what that does for your physical health and your mental health as well, of course, and I think like when we talk about strength, especially within the fitness community, we're thinking about what our bodies are doing, but I'm really, really glad that you touched on there about mental health as well, because strength isn't just about your muscles.
Speaker 1:It's massively about your muscles, by the way, but the mental resilience that comes from like strength training as well is huge. I think it's something that people don't really notice the change, until you maybe point it out to them. Yeah, they're like, actually see, since I started doing that, that is where everything's felt a little bit easier or I've really had that mental strength to deal with really challenging stuff, because it's not always that life gets easier. It's just that you gotta be a bit stronger, yeah, be able to cope and deal with it, which I think so, so, so important.
Speaker 2:100 so I want to talk about muscle mass and I want to talk about longevity and why that is so vitally, vitally important and huge.
Speaker 1:See, when it comes to strength training, for actually being able to build your own muscle and the benefits that come from that at that point in your life, but also when you're then starting to age, having more muscle and the benefits that come from that are absolutely massive for you, yeah.
Speaker 2:So as a young girl, you're coming up and you've got a decent amount of muscle mass. In most cases, yeah, you've got a decent amount of muscle mass. And what I would say personally for myself is one morning I just woke up and I had cellulite in my arse, right, I did it just one day. It just was like what's that? Where did you come from? Right, and I never really thought about it, but it was probably my early 30s that I really really started noticing it and, don't get me wrong, like it's. Like I mean, it's not my favourite thing in the world, but you do learn to love it but it really got me thinking about what's, what's happening with my body that I woke up with that marks, yeah, like, how did that happen?
Speaker 2:We know changing too much, when it came in my diet or when it came to like my movement, and then what's happening? What's going on? Again, I'm like and that's exactly so. Um, as a direct result in my ripple appearing in my ass, I was like what is this? Why is this happening? And you usually see, roughly around the age of 30 to 35, if you are not being consistent with probably the amount of protein that you're eating your strength training. You're seeing a rise of about 1% increase in muscle mass every single year. Year on year, 1% drop. Oh yeah, oh no, no, no.
Speaker 2:Not muscle mass every single year, year on year. One percent, drop one. Oh yeah, oh no, no, no, not muscle mass, shit. No. Body fat increase. Like, okay, body fat increase, or did I just drop the sperm as well? Here we go. Second one see, there's five those. All right, let's do an over that so we can. Um, so you're seeing sorry, an increase in roughly about one percent body fat every single year, year on year. So from the ages of, say, 30 to 40, if you're a woman, you're seeing a big change in your body shape and you're maybe not preserving your muscle mass by consuming enough protein and doing strength training on a regular basis. There's probably going to be some significant work that we need to do.
Speaker 1:Yes, and if you go, if that's what's happening in your 30s to your early 40s and you're not dealing with that, no wonder there's so many challenges that start to arise in your mid-40s when you've got some hormonal changes that are already starting to happen at that point. And the aches, the pains, the lack of mobility, the lack of strength that then comes because we've just not got that awareness in our 30s of what's actually going on in our body.
Speaker 2:Yeah, definitely so. With that being said, we're talking about body fat starting to increase naturally as we get older. It's just part of being a woman. We're naturally more fatty than what men are I was actually talking about this in the hairdressers this morning and we're naturally more fatty than men are. But as um, as we get a wee bit older, we can also see that decline in our muscle mass, and if we're starting to reduce the amount of muscle that is in our body, the chances of aches and pains becoming are becoming more aware.
Speaker 1:Aches and pains massive because if you look at it, it's like the over the age of 30 if you're not strength training, you can lose up to one percent of your muscle mass every single year. Yeah, if you're in a position that you've not strength trained at all in your 30s, your body's didn't get 10 percent less muscle the more it had. So they are 10 percent less in strength, yeah. So what pressure is that going to put on your joints? What pressure is that going to put on your day-to-day tasks? So you can really see why some people get a point that there is such a struggle because there's not really been that understanding or that real education surrounding right? This is how important strength training is.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think the buzzwords in the fitness industry are always like fat loss and those side of things that we've covered in mimi's podcast. But see if the buzzword is actually strength and what you're going to get from that. The real change happens as soon as you start to flick that switch, for it's not just about those numbers, it's about your quality of life, oh my God.
Speaker 2:And I think like one of those things like that we see day in and day out in Curves, is people really like like their health improving, yes, like, if you think about we margaret from irfan right, absolutely amazing. I don't know if I'm allowed to use her surname, but margaret if you're listening you know who you are was exactly who she is. Yeah, she, um, she was told she had to go for a knee replacement until she started strengthening curves. Now margaret's what? In her sixth late 60s, maybe Early 60s?
Speaker 1:I'm going to say early 70s, shut up. No, I'm really confident when I say that. And she joined us at the point that she'd been to the doctors. Ok, and it was that she was to go for a knee replacement but the waiting list was how long's about to spring and she knew that she needed to do something and she wanted to try a bit of movement. She came in not thinking she was going to be able to do any lower body machines. Yeah, modified a few things and honestly, see if you fast forward 12 months on that journey. We sat down at a table after a review where a doctor was like you no longer need to get your knee replacement. Like, your muscle was improving, your strength is getting so much better, your mobility is transformed and she's honestly like a different wee woman. She comes in on a Monday and she's like I can never pronounce this one right, I always want to say Carvery like a Sunday, rose Cabery.
Speaker 2:No, it's not Cabery, it's like a.
Speaker 1:I did that so that was a Sunday. She goes to the bowling club like that was called the Carvery, and she's like, yeah, it's another Carvery, so she goes there. Sorry, like the house called the carvery right and she's like yeah, it's another carvery, so she goes there.
Speaker 1:Sorry, I genuinely thought you were on the wrong, that they were peeming on there. Um, I suppose they are like every second sunday or something with her friends, and it used to be that she would sit and she wouldn't be able to go up and dance right, so she would be sitting, she'd be watching all her friends. She's now at a point that she can get up and she can dance a full time. She's there there. She's not in pain. She doesn't struggle with her energy and her movements absolutely brilliant.
Speaker 2:And to go from that quality of life where you're thinking, actually I'm not going to be able to do these things as I get older and it's just going to get worse and I'm going to need to go for surgery to actually go like that. Right, okay, do you know what? I'm going to try and do something about it myself. Yeah, and do you know what? At 70 years old, not being a member of a gym before how intimidating that could have potentially been and to be able to go a year down the line, you're not just playing six weeks from now or 12 weeks from now. You're looking at the end game, and I always talk about start with the end in mind.
Speaker 2:And that's exactly what she did. Like she went like that. Do you know what? She came in and did her consultation and we said right, if you do this and you do this with your protein, you do this with your strength training, you're regularly coming to curves, you're overloading your muscles in a really, really safe way that isn't putting too much stress on your joints because that's what curves is and you're doing that consistently using the same machines repetition then this is what's going to happen. And she went. You know what I'm gonna do that, she absolutely took it head on.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like, rather than like. Right, this is, these are the cards that I've got given in this. I'm just going to be in this pain, I'm just going to suffer and that's the way it's going to be. Like she, she took it and she was like I can make something of this. Yeah, and when you go, imagine if she had not done that, all right, where she could have been just now post knee replacement. Yeah, like that recovery in rehab to that, when you've not been strength training, when you've not been looking after your own health, is a lot harder than if you had been training.
Speaker 2:So it could have been a really different story had you not just have, like, introduced strength training in your life and I think like that's great to talk about end result and coming back the way, but see if we maybe then actually jump to the front here. For anybody that's maybe not doing strength training right now, or any female that's not doing strength training right now, there are so many benefits to being able to be consistent with some sort of an exercise programme. We spoke about this in the last podcast. But when you do strength training on a regular basis, you're helping maintain your bone density levels as you get older, you're ensuring that you're going to be strong, you're going to be, you're going to be healthy, you're going to be able to run around with your kids or your grandkids.
Speaker 2:It's about the quality of your life. It's like don't get me wrong, having muscle is sexy, right, well, it's not like really it does. Even if you've got a belly like in your ass, it's absolutely fine. But muscle does look good, but what it is going to do as we get older, like it blows my mind. It completely blows my mind, and I know a lot of people that are the same age as me and I know we've spoken about my age in other podcasts that are the same age as me and for me, I would probably say I'm a pretty strong person for my age and I can give 20 year olds a run for their money. Oh, absolutely right. But I would say that that has been because it's been 20 odd years. I've done these consistent, uh, like exercises. But it doesn't need to be like that. Like you can start now 100.
Speaker 1:And that's the thing, like I think everyone thinks when they see someone potentially like you, shifts, who is really strong, carries a good bit of muscle about them, they're just like, right, I'm never going to get like that, so I'm just not going to start. And it's like that's a byproduct of consistency over a number of years. Of course, but where could you be in 12 months? If you just start imagine having 12 months or have more, more muscle on your body, where could you then be in 24 months? The quality of life that you then get from that is massive.
Speaker 1:Like, if we think back to the club, you've got your likes of Sandra who, yes, there's been an amazing physical result, but a lot of the benefits that she's got of being able to get down on the floor with her daughter at dancing and get back up without having issues with our knees, without having to grab on to stuff in no pain. Yeah, those side of things are what's your life changing, part of it, and we're all in control of it. Yeah, I think that's a really, really important thing. Like we've all got our own responsibility to look after our own muscle. Yeah, regardless of whether that's for an aesthetic result, yeah, or because, or because you've got a wedding, you've got a bikini to get into, whatever that might be. That's great right, that's a reward, but we're responsible for our health, and part of that is massive, the muscle that you carry as your health Exactly.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, I think that it's lovely to hear you speaking about members that are in the gym for you. Nats, what would you say um the reason that you would find strength training so important for yourself?
Speaker 1:I think for me, yeah, of course, the physical side of things, yeah, always been great, like the strength that comes from that. But the mental strength that I think you build as a result of strength training is huge. We spoke on previous podcasts like about your chimp and that inner voice within it. Strength training is a massive part of strengthening what's in here. Yes, and again, you're in control of that. Everyone's is, of course, totally different and it's a different journey for everyone. Let's see if you can get consistent.
Speaker 1:It's a routine for this. It's in a sense, of achievement and you know that you're making progress. And I think for a lot of people, when we struggle with our mental health or we find that a wee bit more challenging, it only comes from I'm failing, I'm lacking progress, I'm just not getting anything done, those sorts of things. And you go see, when you take control of that and you tick those boxes, the benefits that come off the back of that mentally are huge. They added extras. You've got some really lovely muscles in your body at the same time, which is great. But I do massively say that strength training is how I would medicate my own head space massively.
Speaker 2:And if we were maybe to give some advice to some members around strengthening their bodies, around how you could easily add stuff into your life that would benefit you. What do you think that we would be looking at? Some top tips around that.
Speaker 1:I think the top tip when it comes to any form of like building your strength is number one consistency. Yeah, right, if you've got no consistency surrounding your training, you're not going to get any real strength benefits. So if you're batting out four sessions one week, you're then not training for the next two weeks. Then you're maybe getting one in. You're like right, I've got five sessions in that month. Like, your body responds when things are done consistently over a period of time. Without a doubt, your body doesn't go right 30 days, I've done those five sessions. Right, these are the benefits that I'm going to be able to give. All, right, your body goes day to day. Yeah, so it's got to be able to have the consistency to get the benefit of actually stimulating those muscles. So consistency would be first and foremost. And no, you do not need to be back in five and six sessions every single week to be able to do that.
Speaker 1:I think everyone believes and we talked about it, um, on, like series three or four, like the extremes of the industry, like it's got to be that hard. See, if you honestly, for 12 weeks, completed three strength training sessions every single week, the difference to your life would be huge. Like, honestly, everything would change. Yeah, so I think that would be like mine would be consistency, and also like being aware of, like managing your expectations with your frequency, other, yeah, at the same time. What would you say?
Speaker 2:yours would be like mine would be consistency, and also like being aware of, like managing your expectations with your frequency or, at the same time, what would you say yours would be? I would say that, definitely, consistency drives everything. Without a shadow of a doubt, I think that you absolutely need to preserve your muscle mass by eating enough protein. And I think, like one of the great things about protein is, even if you're not doing strength training and you're consuming enough protein, you can hold on to your muscles, right, you can hold on to your muscle mass. And if we can hold on to our muscle masses at our muscle mass sorry, at times where we're maybe not able to strength train as often we don't just say hit the effort button, right, you still be like you don't. It's not like you're doing everything, nothing.
Speaker 2:I think that if you can make sure that you're consuming enough amount, like enough protein and when I talk about protein, my recommendation with protein is always as natural sources as you can get, right, you want to be able to nourish your body at the same time as getting your protein in Chicken, fish, meat, dairy beans, legumes, pulses, all of those amazing things. What is it I say? If it ran in the earth, swam in the sea, you can pluck it from the earth or pull it from a tree. Eat as much of your diet from that as you possibly can. So I would say, your protein definitely.
Speaker 2:But I think, see, just to kind of circle back to what you said about frequency it's about not going to the gym and doing something different every single time that you go in, because your muscles respond to doing things repetitively. So you're stimulating the same muscles over and over and over again, and I think that, especially as we get that wee bit older and building muscle does get a little bit harder, as your hormones start to change yes, as we start to see reductions in things like estrogen and progesterone and especially testosterone which, by the way, girls, in case you don't know, you have got it in your body as we start to see sorry, as we start to get a wee bit older, it is harder to build it, but you can still maintain it.
Speaker 1:And I think that's huge and it's where you go. There's so much work should be getting done and those ages of like that 30 to 40 area where your hormones for the majority as well we know that hormones are more aged like, are more person specific than age, though oh yeah, definitely there's that period that you've got this great opportunity that, see, if you got ahead of the game, you can set yourself up brilliantly. What is then going to happen? And there's so many people that I think we come into contact with daily that when they start to get the results, they go. I wish I'd done this sooner. Yeah, I just think you never want to get to that point in your life where you're maybe strong enough to get out of your bed or or those tasks that you once took for granted being able to play with your kids, your grandkids, whoever that might be is now really difficult, and you go see. If I'd taken action five years earlier, this story could have been totally different.
Speaker 2:So I guess the message that we're saying is girls if you are listening, or boys if you're listening also because we might have a few guys yeah, we might have a few guys listening is look after your vessel, maintain your muscle mass, be consistent with it. It doesn't need to be balls to the wall all the time, it just needs to be consistent.
Speaker 1:That's it in a nutshell, isn't it? And at the end of the day, remember your body is your responsibility, no one else's.
Speaker 2:Yeah, definitely. So we wanted to kind of talk about we looked at physical strength there, yes, and we wanted to kind of talk about, then, mental strength for females, or for anybody, in fact, in that matter. And I think that when we were chatting, like when we decided to record this podcast and we were writing this episode, we wanted to really speak about alcohol and the effects that alcohol have on mental strength or mental health.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I think the big thing to remember when it comes to, like looking at alcohol like it's a depressant on your system, like that naturally is going to cause havoc when it comes to your headspace.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think when you start to look at it as more than just going on a night out and having a good yes, more than okay, it was only a couple of drinks for my pals by no manner means my saying like every single person should stop drinking, right, no, you've got to live your life, but I think it's important that you understand the impacts that it has on you in a negative capacity. Oh, yeah, definitely, because we look at the front side of it socializing with your pals, having a good time, all that kind of stuff but when we look at it being then like a depressant in the system, as soon as you've put that into your body, you're then paying the effects for that, depending on the individual, for a period of days, yeah, definitely, and I think, like the, the big thing we I'll call see, from a personal experience, I don't tolerate it.
Speaker 2:Well, right, like I am, like I'm not even gonna lie to you, I'm a shit show, and like it's I'm fine one minute and then I'm falling asleep at a table at the next minute and it's not the person that I want to be, and I think it's so easy to get caught up in the moment of alcohol, like it is, it's fun.
Speaker 2:I would say that, um, in my younger years, like something that I used to, like the shivzy smile would come out and I'd just be like drunk and I'd just be smiling at everyone and that was fine, but that was the cue to get her home.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I remember I used to be like mortified because it didn't align with the person that I want to be and I would say, see, as I've got older, my tolerance levels have got worse, like I don't tolerate it as well, even worse than what I did when I was younger, and I started to research that, yeah, and as your hormones start to change the way your body metabolizes alcohol, especially as then, like you start going into your perimenopause or menopausal years, how your body metabolize, alcohol changes, your tolerance levels change and then, as a direct effect to that, if you think about what that is then doing for your mental health.
Speaker 2:Now something that I looked into today because it really interested me. I read this study years ago um around um suicide rates after alcohol consumption and I couldn't remember the stats of it so I'd written them down for today's episode. And 70% of men and 40% of women who have attempted suicide have had blood alcohol levels higher than the legal limit. Now, if we think about alcohol as the good time guy at the front here but 70 percent of men and 40 percent are women that have attempted suicide have had alcohol in their system there's a huge weight in that there's huge weight in that.
Speaker 1:If you think, as soon as you and you made a really valid point of saying like it doesn't align with the person that you want to be so you go on the night out, you start having a few drinks straight away. You're not the same person that you are when you're sober yeah right. So your decision making then starts to become very, very different. So even when you're going out and you're like I'm just going to have a couple, as soon as you've had that couple, you're then getting tested a lot more on whether you're going to stick to what you said. Say like any form of alcohol will do like the frontal lobe of your brain is responsible for your decision making. So straight away you're like okay, I'll just stay out, I'll just have another one, right? So that other drink turns into another, turns into another before you've got yourself in a position that you are completely nowhere near the person that you want to be and your kicks yeah, you call it, or sleep at a table, whatever you want to put right, but you then have that. So what then happens? You then get home, you wake up the next morning and you then have this battle of trying to remember the last thing you remember and then you're trying to join the dots together and that's where that whole fear and anxiety, yeah, for a lot of people then starts to come into play.
Speaker 1:Now, even anyone with the greatest headspace, yeah, is going to find that a battle, and I think this is why you can see such big numbers of alcohol still being left in the um system when suicide has happened. Because for anyone that could go from saving up on a Saturday, a Sunday, to a Wednesday of going what happened, I've got the fear. I cannae open a message, I cannae look that person in the eye. I can't even go into my camera roll here to see what's happening and at that point, depending on how much is being consumed, your decision-making is still going to be dulled at that point while you're battling all of that. So you can see how it can have such a negative impact on the flip side of what you thought was going to be a really good night. If you're not in control of that, and if you're not in control and in touch with your headspace, that inner voice, whatever you might want to call it, you can see why there's extreme decisions made oh, 100, 100.
Speaker 2:And I think that like, don't, like, don't get us wrong. Like I'm not saying that I won't have a drink, I don't drink every weekend, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that either, but I think that it's wildly important to think. See if you are struggling day to day with your mental health and what's happening is exactly what you said going out on a Saturday, rough on a Sunday, no, feeling great. On a Monday, tuesday, you're kind of starting to feel a bit better, wednesday, you're feeling a wee bit more like yourself. Thursday's a good day, friday's a good day, and then you repeat the cycle again. That's five days that you're feeling a bit ropey and it's consistent. And you can see why these rates of poor mental health are increasing and increasing massively. And I would say that, see, a big, big challenge is that there's actually nothing for people to do in Scotland unless it's going to the pub or going and throwing yourself up a Monroe and then going for a pint at the bottom or very little, sorry.
Speaker 1:Even most exercise things that you do, like when we do a high rocks, there's always a group chat of where are we going after it, what's the night out after it, and I think, like it is great, and by no man means obviously, don't socialize. But I think you've got to be in tune with yourself to ask yourself the question right, I'm gonna eat, am I gonna drink? I'm not gonna drink. Yeah, okay, I'm gonna have some drinks. To what extent am I willing for that to go?
Speaker 1:yeah because this is what I've got on that next week. Right, I'm willing that I'll take the hit for no feeling that great and I'm happy with that, or you go. Do you know what I can't afford to lose my monday, my tuesday, yeah, or my wednesday, I'm actually not going to drink, and this is something I think about quite a lot like I battle that inner voice within my head. That chimp is out its cage as much as it can be when you've had a drink, right, it is wild. So for me, if I'm going to go out and I'm going to go, right, am I going to drink or am I going to drive? Yeah, and I'll go right.
Speaker 1:Do you know what? I've not had a drink in quite a while. I've not been out with these people in quite a while. I'm going to up for a disaster, yeah, and a lot of people might think that is like boring. Oh, you've got to live your life, you've got to have a good time, right, let's be honest, just one more drink. But I think it's really important that you're confident in identifying that yeah, and being able to be like do you know what? That's not going to serve me or it's not going to value you. Yeah, don't be boring, guaranteed. You See, you come Monday night, so they're going to be washing. They're not washing them up, right, and I think it's just being self-assured of knowing what your body needs when you're potentially in circles that are trying to pull you in lots of different directions.
Speaker 2:I think it's really valuable what you're saying there about like being pulled in different directions by the circles that you're in as well, and I think that your friends will never force you to do something. So see, if you're the pal that says to your pal just have a drink, can't you just let them do their thing, like they will still have a great time and they'll still be great and they'll still be good to be around? It's you like it should. It's honestly, it's. It's fine to let people do their thing.
Speaker 2:And I think that there's probably a challenge a wee bit when it comes to society and accepting it. And it's the only drug on the planet that you're openly getting forced to push because it's so well accepted and I I just think there's something in that. So if you're the person that's no drinking or you say I don't want to go out and drink and you feel like you're being forced by your friends, then stay strong. But see, if you're the pal that's strong arm and your pal to get pushed and she or he does no want it, just kind of wrap it Just wrap it right, don't be that guy.
Speaker 1:I think it hits a nail on the head in what does alcohol actually help you? Connect or disconnect? Oh my God, aye Right and like as you go out with your friends group because you're like, right, we're going to socialise, we're going to have a good time, we're going to catch up. And I do think for the first 90 minutes there's an element of that where you've all got like a wee drink in you. You've got a wee bit of fun, you've got the wee fuzz.
Speaker 2:And you're like Aye, and I think as well, it's the kind of sloppiness that comes with it. Everybody's hanging all over each other and you're shouting and aye it, just like. You're kind of you are disconnecting, not even from each other, like because you are disconnected from each other, but you're disconnecting potentially from yourself and I think, like we, anything that we take to take away who we actually are, there's, there's some negatives that can be attached to that.
Speaker 1:There really are people use it to mask like being the person that they think they actually are, because it gives them that confidence front.
Speaker 2:I think we've spoken a few times to a few people that have felt that way, like I can't go out and have a night out because I wouldn't be as fun without having a drink, and like I know that I've been in social situations that I knew if I had a drink I'd probably have had more to say, and I've felt like, oh, do you know what? Actually, like this would have maybe been a wee bit easier if I'd had a few drinks, and I know that for a fact. But that doesn't make me go like that. Do you know what? I'm patching the car and I'm going to go because these conversations are coming easier. This is true. It makes me circle back to the thing that you said about just the thought of what could potentially happen. See, when you work in a member-facing role, you can't be all effed up man. You absolutely can't. And see, like your emotions, like they're no right.
Speaker 1:First and foremost, though, there is nothing more fearful than a member on a monday morning going. I seen you in the train on saturday and you go. Did I get a train home on saturday, right? So I think, like, we joke about that, but I think there's an element, when you're in such a customer vision role that, like you, are a role model to so many people, yeah, that you do want to be able to lead by example, uh-huh, and I think that's something that, like, we both value within ourself.
Speaker 1:Is that, like, if you're going to talk the talk, you've got to be willing to walk the walk of entity. Sometimes that is known when not getting absolutely hammered hammered I don't know what was coming to me then. I was struggling, could you tell, and not doing that serves you. I'll tell you what see sometimes driving, being there for that 90 minutes while everybody's getting their wee buzz about them, and then go enjoy your night in an early night, looking in a group chat the next day and going oh my god, I feel great. Everyone else is like Dying inside.
Speaker 2:Getting up, going for a run, loving life and the next day Actually being like, do you know what? I pure enjoyed my Sunday. How good is a Sunday? How good is a Sunday?
Speaker 1:Definitely, I say this all the time. I think you really value that time and Roughness is time lost, no matter what way that you look at it.
Speaker 2:Aye, it is definitely Because, in what way that you look at it, it is definitely because, again, like see, if you think about also, like what? Then the negative effects. Especially see, if you're someone that's trying to get a physical result, like when you're going to the gym, say, for talking sake, we have all been there, right, so out on the Saturday night, yep, I'm just going to stick to the gyms 10 cocktails later. And then you wake up in the morning and you're hanging, yeah, and you lie in your couch all day, and then you'll go out for dinner or whatever you do, and then you get all the munchies and then you don't sleep that well that night because you get all the rubbish and your body's like hanging for the alcohol consumption. And then you wake up the next day and you haven't prepped your meals and then, before you know it, it just absolutely spirals. It does. It definitely spirals.
Speaker 1:Um, so prep your meals before you go, make sure you've got your food in for this and definitely delete juicy off your phone as well, so that doesn't mean it like I think we. We talked about something there about does alcohol help you connect or does it help you disconnect? And one of the biggest reasons we wanted to start this podcast was because there is a real lack of connection out there in the world you touch based on. It's really hard to have things to do and kind of scottish culture that doesn't revolve around about alcohol. Yeah, as you say, whether it go on a night out, whether it be check yourself up in monroe and then go to pub street after it, do a high rocks and then you end up on a night out with it be chuck yourself up a Monroe and then go to the pub street after it, do a high rocks and then you end up on a night out, and we are really lacking connection without that being a thing.
Speaker 1:And we wanted an opportunity to be able to bring groups of females together to actually just be able to connect authentically as themselves, not with two glasses of Prosecco in it because they feel a wee bit more confident and I think I'm massively excited for what's going to be coming from this as a result of it, because there are going to be so many of you guys that listen that can massively resonate with everything we're chatting about today and going, oh my god, like are they talking directly to me? So I think the big thing is any form of that connection that we can create off the back of it. Get yourself involved, because this will all be on the water, yeah, but it brings on connection, yeah, and female as a whole. What do you think the importance of female connection is?
Speaker 2:Shirt oh, wow, that's a big question. I would say that definitely wasn't written down. No, it's fine. No, no connection for women, it's everything right. I would say that one of the saddest things that I've heard being a coach is the words I don't know who I am anymore, and I hear that so much from mums. Yeah, and it's usually mums are teenagers that I hear that from, and their kids no longer need them. Fyi, they will always need you, right, always, always, um, but I don't know who I am anymore and what.
Speaker 2:What I see happening with this kind of like mum of is they? For the past 12 to 15 years, they have completely immersed themselves in looking after their children, which is amazing. There's nothing bad about that. But to the point that they're working, they're taking their kids to all the clubs, they're looking after their clubs, they're running their house, and then there is zero left, zero left for them at the end of it, and it's been this vicious cycle for so long. And then the kids come up and they start going out with their friends and doing all that kind of stuff and they're left in there on their own in their house and like what do I like? Who am I like? I've just spent 13 to 15 years looking after somebody else and I actually feel a bit lost here and I think that that's when I think about why it's really, really important for us to probably try and create something with the sisterhood circle. That isn't just about like women coming along, it's about women can bring your kids along.
Speaker 1:So like, we need to be better at like, being inclusive each other and creating space and maybe creating like spaces and there's so much to it because you've hit the nail on the head with, females become so disconnected from themselves and they've got to be able to connect with themselves. But I think on that journey of for a lot of people, bringing kids into the world and bringing them up, when they're first born, there's like newborn groups you go to. There's toddlers that then make connections with other people through school friends, yeah, but then sees their kids start to get to that secondary point and, as you start to give them a little bit more independence, tends to be when your connection to other females starts to pull back, because if you've maybe not got an established circle at that point yes, you've maybe not got a solid group all of a sudden, not only do you feel your kids are like up now, you're not going for the next five years. I'll tell you what, man, I would never think that, mum, if you're watching me either, my mum bestie.
Speaker 2:Oh, I can't wait for her to come home. Oh, no, like 10 times a day.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she's like, what is it? Honestly, see, one of the most amazing things to be able to do is like phone your mum. Oh, so so lucky to do it. It's like it's amazing to do.
Speaker 1:I remember like, hi, she's like, what's up? And I'd be like just wanted to talk to you, what's up, and I do it every night and sometimes you can do it so like hiya, pal, and I'm like, are you bored of me? But anyway, digressing, yeah, so yeah, as they start to then become so connected in the world, you kind of are quite disconnected from other groups if you've not established something for yourself. I think that's where it's so powerful that there is that space for women to absolutely connect and thrive. I think it's something that we see in the gym day in, day out, and seeing you see connections, flourish friendships be made, people doing things they would never have done because they've got somebody to do it with. The world genuinely needs so much more of it, because it's how we thrive as people is being connected and we're in a world, just now that disconnect, disconnects in so many ways, any form of like physical interaction, like face to face.
Speaker 1:How much do?
Speaker 2:I touch people. I am the most tactile person in the whole entire world and you know what it is. I know that see physical touch and intimacy, whether it be looking at somebody in the eye when you're talking to them, it produces a hormone called oxytocin, and oxytocin is the human connection, love hormone. And when we live in a society that is on a screen yeah, through a message, sometimes on the phone we are lacking so much physical connection and oxytocin is it just comes you comes, your nervous system, it makes you feel good. It's what we're meant to have. Like. I literally hug, I will hug trees and, by the way, hugging trees is great. I'm actually no kidding on, but that's a story for another podcast. I'm one way next listen. I'll talk to you about this after and why, but we'll put this on another.
Speaker 1:As for just now, just hug all your pals. It really does give those the absolute feel-good hormone when you're just connected with people, and I think one of the things we popped in to chat about today is how disconnected we were during covid and the negative impacts that came off. I think everyone's experience was totally different. Yeah, if we learned anything from that, it was how connected we need to be. Yeah, I mean, for us, we went from saying what anywhere from 180 to 200 females a day, every single day to, for me, being in the highest by myself and see that for you nats, that must have been like for anybody that doesn't know.
Speaker 2:Nats, like lived in. How long have you been in your flat? Five years, six years, seven years, seven, seven, because you were in your flat before I moved into my new house. Yes, I was 20, turning 21, so for you like to go from that was a big, big thing. Yeah, it was like you're being in work and seeing people all the time. To go from that to being completely isolated and actually being told like you're bad if you go outside, like there was so much like guilt attached to it.
Speaker 1:But I think at the same time, like it was absolute loneliness, like see, just you know this sounds mad. Well, I was a pure supermarket tart. I, you were. I took the. You can go to the shop once a day legitimately. I like every shop once every day. I go to like morrison's, just so. And I would wait, I would not go to cell scanner, I would stand in my lane and I would go to my turn. I'd be like hi, how's your day been with your mask on? She's mental. But I just really thrived. Well, I do thrive off of chatting to people, right, like I love helping people fill their cup, yeah, but in turn that massively fills my cup and, and I think during lockdown I really struggled with, my cup was empty because something that really filled mine of that interaction with people wasn't there. Yeah, I would say that the longer that went on, the more I battled that voice inside my head of that chimp. Like there was no cage in lockdown man, that thing was living freely in my head it was actually.
Speaker 2:It was quite a hard thing to witness. Yeah, as well. Um, like your mum and dad were obviously living in dubai, which was there was was absolutely massive for you. Like stewart, for me, was at his work every day, so I was like a puppy at the door waiting for him. It's amazing. Good housewife when you've got time. But to circle back to you, sorry, your brother at the time was working for Boots as a like farmer and pharmacy and he was an absolute rule follower, and you're one too. Remember when they gave you a bubble? Oh, I get any sunny outside.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, I would never say I use this word in life, but it's what I imagine being scunnered to feel like I was just, like I was working around people. You could be around people in the garden. I remember being like right, sean, so do you want to have like a wee barbecue this weekend? We'll have like a few drinks and stuff. And he was like no, I've got rules to follow. Like I'm working in the front line and, honestly, like my brother is not a real follower.
Speaker 1:I was the first time in his life and I remember being like are you getting me on? And I spoke to my mom and she was like you've got to respect that. And in my head at that point I was like nobody actually knows how I feel, just want a person. I remember I was like, right, well, if I can't get sean, I'm gonna do the next best thing. So I was like up to their house, where was the install? The dog brought him down and then I ended up like chatting to you that day and stuff like that and see, just having that bit of connection, yeah, that day albeit people could maybe say you shouldn't, you shouldn't have been talking to someone else in a garden and all that, but that for me, I genuinely believe with a point that, like I was like right, this could be okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, seeing people like I can get through that and I'm so grateful that was only for lockdown for me, but for so many people that can be their everyday life and I think that when we talk about to circle right back to longevity, the risk associated with not preserving your muscle mass and not preserving your mental health is maybe that as you get older, you kind of get out the house and see the thought of that. That's. It's utterly, it's terrifying, it's so sad for people that that that's the like, that's what they potentially be having to live. Yes, so, taking a flip that back the way, if you can do anything right now to look after your mental health and your physical health, should and connect with other people, like, pick up the phone to your people, pop around and see them. We're all busy, right, but you know what, like time stands still for no man.
Speaker 2:That was five years ago this month that that happened, that that hicked off. I mean that's. I remember they told us we could do one walk a day. I mean you walked 10 miles every day and went for an Easter egg, most of it.
Speaker 1:I get Easter eggs to teach your lockdown. I bought an Easter egg. I bought it at the shop every single day. But yeah, you did, didn't you? When you look at that, right, and that's a really valid point getting outside. So during lockdown, we all struggled and we struggled with that connection, but we then identified what you had to do to fill your cup. You had to get outside, you had to be active, yeah, you had to get your sunlight and you had to get your fresh air, because you knew that was a bare minimum that you could do for your own physical and mental health at that time. And had that not have been getting done at the same point of struggling, like it would have been so much harder, yeah, but I think to circle back this is the same.
Speaker 1:When we kind of go off, we're circling back, we're circling back, our sisterhood circling back anyway, good job, that's quite clever. I'm going to steal that circle back, right? Yeah, that'll be the thing. You knocked, it, knocked, it, knocked, shana. Okay, um, is that you've got to be connected? Yeah, and you've got to put yourself into groups of, in this situation, females that I've got your absolute back, because see the effect that I had when I put myself into a more social situation there, when I was really struggling, was I was uplifted. Yeah, I was reassured. I knew that it wasn't going to last forever. I knew that it was going to be all right. See, when people are struggling day to day just now and they're not in those pockets, they're struggling in their own head for a long period of time. If you can be surrounded by groups of females out of your back, they're going to remind you that you can do it.
Speaker 2:They're going to be your biggest cheerleader and letting you know that that tough time will pass and there is groups like that out there and and we like this is this is the vision, like we want to be that we want to create pockets, not just all over Ayrshire or Glasgow, we want to do it all over the world. Pretty much, we just want to hang out with yous also. Yeah, definitely. So let's start doing that immediately.
Speaker 1:And I think that puts us on to how important your circle is Wow and the great things that can come from it, but what you need to be aware of Definitely In it as well.
Speaker 2:So I think we called this bit be aware of your circle or beware. I cannot remember that there for that item, but this is so, so true, and I think that the first thing that I wanted to talk about is have you ever just been around someone that is frigging sunshine? You just walk in. Their smile lights up the room, they are a vibe, you engage with them, you look at them and you're just like you are my person, and then you leave and you just feel good, aye, now that is an energy giver. Right, and everybody needs one of them in their life. 10 of them, actually. You need 10, the more the better.
Speaker 2:So if you're, if you're thinking about becoming an energy giver, do it absolutely.
Speaker 2:Yeah, if you are aware of going in a, an environment or um with a person and you go and you feel like you are completely drained or zapped by them, that could be that they are energy vampires. That's what we would call them, and I think it's being aware of that. Now, this being said, right, and I think I think it's really, really important to touch on this. Not everybody's going to be sky high all the time, and sometimes people need you to be the giver of energy. So I'm not saying that energy vampires are negative right, because everybody has those days where they are here and they need to yeah, that they need to be brought up. But it's being aware of what you are because, like we said earlier on, is it's it's your choice for the language that you talk and the conversations that you have and, even if you are a bit lower, being aware that you can bring your vibration up by changing your thought processes and changing your words and changing your actions and maybe being around someone that's frequencies a wee bit higher.
Speaker 1:I think that's on your own because, see, when you are around someone, that's energy is a totally different frequency from yours. You're sunshine in a person. They just you look at them and you're like, oh, they're just like that person. See, when you're having a slightly challenging time and you're struggling to get yours up, the other kind of people you do want to be around because you meet their energy yeah, you'll come up to that and I think that you've hit the nail on the head. It doesn't just be because you're maybe an energy vampire. We all have those days.
Speaker 1:There's just a message you know, like, by the way sorry, that was a wee bit meh, right, like, and it's just because you're so aware of that but see if you can get a balance where you're in a circle that are going to be the majority of those energy givers, but you know on that day that you're maybe going to be a wee bit more than them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that they're going to bring you up and that you're going to be able to bring them up when they're having those days is massive. You've got to have each other's back and I think we talk all the time about your circle being so powerful and being aware of who you're surrounding it by. Yeah, but making sure that those people are actually your people and when you walk away from them, they're still going to have your back. They're not going to be the first group that are going to be like oh, I see her today. What was wrong with that? Yeah, and start that other conversation with you, because I think that leads into the other side of circles, where it can be so negative.
Speaker 2:Yeah, all the time, because as soon as you walk away from the table, you're the topic of conversation instead, and I think, like one of the things for me is my body, like I do not enjoy talking about people, like it's normal, it's it's not my thing, um, it does not sit well. I would rather be at a table full of people talking about ideals and visions and all that kind of stuff, and I think that you know, like from an internal point of view, if there's a conversation that's being had that you're maybe not comfortable with, you're retrieving back for that. But how easy is that to do that? If you're not self-assured and if you're not, like sure of the person that you are and the vision that you have for yourself, you can get very easily dragged or manipulated into it and then it becomes a very negative circle that you're in yeah, I think we speak about this sometimes, like in your younger years, when you're not quite as sure of yourself and you're thinking at this point that your circle needs to be huge.
Speaker 1:The bigger the circle, the better. That it's going to be. I always think the majority of the time not all the time the bigger the circle, the more talking is likely going to be going on at that table at points, and I think there's something to be said for keeping your circle that little bit smaller. Yeah, but just having them. You're absolutely solid people that the only talking you're ever going to do is about how bloody amazing someone's yes, yeah, right, and then you talk about it and you're like you want to just actually send that person a message because they are rocking life. Your circle doesn't need to be huge. Yeah, right, you would rather have three people that have got your absolute back at three o'clock in the morning, when you really need them, as we talk about, when shit hits the fire and you're bawling your eyes out, than 33 people that are your friend. To your face, yeah, but behind your back would be really, really different.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I think it's just being aware of that and just being aware, like, if you're in situations where people are always talking about each other, we're going to be the topic of conversation somewhere and you know what. That's fine. If that's what you want, that's absolutely fine. But see, if it's not what you want, just be assured of yourself to say, yeah, do you know what? I'm just moving away for that, absolutely, that's absolutely fine. Um, I would love it if we could maybe talk a wee bit more about how we can keep our physical health and our mental health in check for everybody going forward yes.
Speaker 1:So I would say, if I was to look at my top tips for keeping my physical and my mental health in check, would be number one fill my own cup. Make sure that there is something every single week that is cup filling. For me, from a mental side of things, tends to be exercise the majority of the time, I must say. Tip number two would be exercise consistently and make sure you get the frequency of that down if you want to feel better physically and mentally. Doing it five times one week, one time, the next week isn't going to be able to cut it. And top tip number three would be nutritionally. Don't underestimate the impact the nutrition that you're putting in your body is having on your energy physically and what you're able to put out, but it's having in your energy mentally and it's causing that to drain right down. Yeah, I think they're absolutely amazing that's such dance.
Speaker 2:What would yours be? Uh, outdoors, yeah, I suppose, is absolutely huge, specifically as close to nature as you can get. Um, I think, like that's wildly. I think that fresh air, sunlight, oxygen, silence, all of those things see for your mental health. I think when I was up at the course up in Heal Scotland in Siai, up with Lilia, she'd said that like if you go outdoors and specifically into like the forest, there's a 70% increase in your fighter cells in your body, right, so these are like the thought of that is just absolutely wild 70% and she's using it by getting outdoors. So I think that that's like all your healing is happening, like when you're outdoors. And if you think about it, like if you think about like the frequency like the forest emits, it's healing frequencies. So see, if you're not feeling great mentally, being able to get outside in nature, it's healing you, which is just absolutely amazing. So getting outside.
Speaker 2:Another really great tip for like boosting your mental health is doing things that you never thought you were going to be able to do, like pushing yourself and like, see, when it comes to going to the gym and doing strength training, maybe, like progressing that we've got extra, like that kind of thing, or running a wee bit faster or just doing a wee task. I think that that can make a big difference. But I wanted to kind of circle back a little bit on a nutrition. When it comes to like being strong mentally, a lot of the time that we think that we're putting food into our body that isn't actually affecting our mental health, when actually, on a huge level, it is. 50% of dopamine is metabolised in your gut and 90% of serotonin is metabolised in your gut. Literally, what you are eating is feeding the microbes that create these hormones in your gut. So if you're eating a lot of shit and you're feeling a lot of shit, if you could change that a wee tiny bit, you're feeling a lot of shit. If you could change that a wee tiny bit, the difference that comes from it is huge. Let your gut do its thing. It's like trying to heal you. It's trying to create these hormones that make you feel amazing. So I think like that would be a big part of it. And be around your people. See your sunshine. Give us the people that you're just like oh my god, you just fill me with love. Try and get around them.
Speaker 2:I spoke to a life coach actually last year and she had said to my name was jenny and um, she was like that, um, I, I had been feeling maybe like a little bit mentally drained at that point and she was like what fills you up? And I had said my cousin donna, she was like when was the last time you saw her? I was like I don't know and I'd said like I've seen her boys. I'm like I'm just so busy and I remember, I think maybe a few days later, getting in touch with her, with donna, and going for a walk with her and seeing the boys, and genuinely phoned jenny and I was like you are so right, yeah, that that's what that is. So you're never like I know that we all get busy, but don't forget to fill your cup up with your people. Your wee energy, like your energy, give us massive, definitely. So there would be.
Speaker 1:Those would be my top tips there so I think that really rounds us up for today, episode five my god, done and dusted just like that, just like that.
Speaker 2:So, girls, boys, thank you so much for listening and we will see you for the final episode. Come and release. Thank you, thanks bye.