Live! Don't Just Wait: Wisdom For Christian Single Women

What does it mean to truly live while you're waiting? In this episode, Renee Lee sits down with author Altronise "Trecie" Williams to discuss her book Live! Don't Just Wait: Wisdom for Single Christian Women. Together, they explore faith, identity, self-worth, relationships, and practical life lessons that empower women to embrace purpose and fulfillment in every season. Whether you're single, leading a singles ministry, or supporting women on their personal growth journey, this conversation offers encouraging insights and actionable wisdom for living fully right now—not someday.

Listen in for a meaningful discussion on faith, purpose, and thriving beyond the wait.

Transcript

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Well, hello, and welcome, my sisters, to the Women in Position Podcast, where we walk uh in purpose and we live in destiny. And we walk in purpose on purpose. We know God has called us to something. We are positioned for greatness. And I am so excited to have the beautiful. I mean, I don't even really know all I can say about her, her sweet spirit, but Sister Alternise Williams, we call you Tracy. And uh she's so just just just endearing and loving. And um, she is the daughter of Apostle Alton R. Williams and Dr. Is your mom a doctor? Elder Cheryl Williams, I want to call her Dr. Williams, but um, and who are such a blessing. They are the founders of World Overcomers Outreach Ministry Church here in the Memphis area, but they reach worldwide, their reach is worldwide, and um, they have done some beautiful, amazing work here in this city and across the globe. And we're just so honored that the mantle and the anointing that is on her parents is on her to serve. So thank you so much for being here with us. Thank you, Renee, for having me. It's such an honor to um share with your audience on the Lemon and Position. So uh proud of the work you're doing with this podcast and with the ABR firm, helping women and particularly to rise and empowering them and uh positioning them for the greatness that God has for their lives. Thank you. Yeah, thank you for that. I appreciate that. Well, listen, you know, I I want you to tell the people about you. I know in your book, and we're gonna talk about her book today. She's um she's probably you've authored other books, but this one right here, live, don't just wait. The title itself, and you it's so it's wisdom for single Christian women, but I'm gonna tell you, brothers can be blessed by this too. Single brothers can be blessed by it too. Um, and um, I just I just want to say, you know, in the book you talk about, you know, working in the ministry for over 20 years and you've been able to minister to people. And I have to say that it's it's written, um you can see your your testimony throughout it and the blessing. And I I think that um, you know, being having been a part of singles ministry before, um still single. I've been married and divorced, and I but I I call I just call myself single now because I've been single a long time now. And um, and I love how you just kind of really address the issues about you know people not seeing seeing marriage as a gift, but not singleness as a gift. And I was like, that is so true. It's all it was almost like something was wrong with us if we weren't married, right? And like we're where are we going wrong? And that's a trick of the enemy, a lie of the enemy, and all of that. So, you know, you can just really well. There's one thing I want to say too. You said, um, you said singleness uh can be just as fulfilling as marriage. Both are gifts from God. I just love that. And it starts off like that, and it just it draws people in to say, listen, let me tell you something. God loves you. And so, so anyway, you you start off, just tell us a little bit about yourself, and then um tell us what made you write this book. Yes, ma'am, uh Renee. My name is Tracy Williams. Like you said, I'm the daughter of Apostle Altimar Williams, Elder Sherlyn Williams, uh overseer, apostolic overseer, uh, First Lady Emeritus of World Overcomers Church. They have served there for 44 years and just retired last August. Um, and our new pastor and first lady, Pastor Andre Money, First Lady Wendy Money, are doing an amazing job carrying uh the vision forward. I have served uh under their leadership, particularly Apostle Neil De Sherlin since um I left college. I graduated uh Roberts University in 2007, came straight to uh start working for my parents in ministry and helping them, helping the family and um and serving Womsea, and it's been the honor uh and the joy of my life. Um this is year 19 or year 20, uh, because I started a little bit uh prior to 2007 officially, but helping particularly with my uh parents' books. Um they have 500 resources uh on understandingforlife.org and um that address uh issues that every person faces. But um what led me to write this book, uh Live Don't Just Wait. Uh this is book number five. This is the third one that I've actually printed. Um last year, uh 4th of July, my mom and I were praying, and um I was looking for, I wanted to write something that reflected my journey and but didn't know exactly what. And my mom during our prayer session, you know, we got quiet, and um she said, Tracy, you have been a single woman for 40 years, and so that's something you can definitely speak to because you did it, and it just rang in my spirit, it resonated. And uh from there I started working uh on uh the book, released it officially um on December 25th uh of last year as a PDF, and then got uh some copies printed for um a book signing that did in March. Uh printed several more copies on Amazon and other platforms soon, working on that. But uh yes, that was the inspiration uh for the book. Yeah, it's an amazing title. Um, you know, so often in church we hear women are told, you know, just wait, I'm waiting on my boass, you know, and so what you've done in this in this book, and and I I actually feel like it is a true workbook. Like this is this gives you work to do on yourself. Um, you know what I mean? And um, and so with with that title alone, it's like the first thing you're commanding us to do is live. Like, as if, like, you know, even though you may be way, you may be way number, or you may enjoy your single life, which you know, I I've learned to enjoy the privilege of being able to do so many things that God has called me to do um by being single, things that I couldn't do when I was married, you know, and um, so I'm I'm I'm I'm very um you know, I just appreciate that title live and uh you know don't just wait. Thank you for okay. I think she's frozen, so as soon as we can get her back, um we will we'll bring her back on stage as soon as we can get her back. Um but you know, so so live it it what it does, her book it encourages Christian single uh well, single Christian women to stop doing singleness as a holding pattern. And so many times, just like I mentioned, you know, we've heard, you know, I'm waiting on my boaz, I'm waiting on, I'm waiting, I'm waiting, I'm waiting, I'm waiting, as opposed to seeing singleness as um or embracing it as a season of growth, a season of purpose, it's a time for healing, it's a time for preparation and intentional living. And um that's that's really what this book is all about. It's like viewing where you are as a gift from God. This singleness is a gift from God. So if you embrace it as growth, as purpose, as healing, preparation, and you're living intentionally for the Lord, this is just it's a blessing. And we need to really do a better job in our churches and our ministries to really help other singles see that that marriage is not the end-all, you know, it's just not. So um, thank you for popping back in. Absolutely, thank you for your patience. Um, but yeah, you you're exactly right. As a matter of fact, um the thing, um again, God knows because God made us, he you know, made Adam and Eve. Eve was a help meet to Adam. Um, and um, but God has a call for women's lives. Um, your husband is part of the calling, but he's not the calling. There, there are other parts of a woman's calling, and the enemy knows that the one thing godly women want more than anything, usually, is a godly man to stand beside them, to partner with them, to carry out God's purpose. So he will try to get us sometimes mixed up with people who are will derail our calling. I was just ministering to a lady last night, and um it it broke my heart a situation. She just said, I had a dream. I discipled her a couple of years ago, and she had a dream and said that a sorcerer appeared uh in her dream and was trying to take people's souls. And uh she said they tried to take her soul, but she always said, I rebuke you in the name of Jesus Christ. And I said that you had the foresight to do that. Um that your heart uh is for God, but um of course they're there resources that can give you more information on what dreams mean. And so I looked up what it meant if a sorcerer appeared in the dream, and the meaning they said was um, this person manipulates to get what they want and to do certain things to get what they want. And she said, Oh my gosh, she says that all the time. And I because she didn't see who the person was in the dream that was making the and she asked uh who um I I asked her, I said, who is the person that says this all the time? She said, My boyfriend. I said, Well, I think you may have found your answer. She has to, you know, do so. We, you know, went through um an inner healing session to help her uh break free uh from some of those things. But yeah, it's very important, especially when you have a call on your life like you do, Renee, that um who you link up with, that we we can't link up with just anybody. Yeah, that's so true. That's so true. And because it will prevent us, you know. Yesterday I'm I'm doing this three-day uh series, and when we finish our call, I'm gonna be doing the day two of it. I'm talking about breaking free from confidence blocks, things that block our confidence. And one of the things I I talked about was Jeremiah 29, 11, that God had plans for us because um unfortunately, when I was when I was married, there was so much, it felt like a competition. Like I had to dumb down on everything. Like I felt like I couldn't really move in what God was telling me to do. And I was sharing with the women that you know the the beautiful part about it was Jeremiah 29 and 11 stuck in my head though. Like, because I knew I was going to leave the marriage after my kids graduated high school. I just knew I needed to, it was just it was unhealthy. And so, but the the beautiful part was that God already had plans for women in position, he already had plans for sister story sessions, he already had plans, all the things he called me to, Tracy, he had already had the plans laid out, even though I was in a place of bondage, and so even when we're single and we're dating, you're right, the connection matters because if this is going to take me away from the will of the father and fulfilling what God has called me to do here in the earth to bring his name glory and to lift him and not me or anybody else, because if you got to lift your your your boyfriend, your husband above everybody else, that's that's not God. It should be, if there is a union, it should be all to the glory of God. It should be, you know, um, it should be it should be a reflection of Christ's relationship with us. And so that's that's one of the things I really loved. Um you talked in talking about identity and self-worth. Tell us more about that as being a single person. Well, it's so important that we know who we are uh in Christ, because that's what the rest of our lives are built on. We um, in fact, when I was uh 30 years old, uh, or it's coming up on my 30th birthday, um, I felt like I heard the Lord say, Your first book is on identity. And so worked it and had the manuscript done on my birthday, December 13th, for my 30th birthday. And it was called A Celebration of You, 50 Truths about Who You Are in Christ. And so you're loved, you're accepted, you're chosen, you are um part of God's family, you are more than enough, you are beautiful, you're attractive, and really uh being clear on who God has made us to be because then we're not seeking that love or that validation from uh other sources. We are God is the one who affirms us, he's the one that gives us our uh value, he's the one that gives us uh our identity. And the more time we spend with him, the stronger uh we um get and become in that uh realm of grateful to have two godly parents, a godly family. Um if a woman doesn't have a father in a life or doesn't have the best relationship with her earthly father, sometimes they can project those feelings onto their heavenly father. But heavenly father is always loving, he's always uh caring, he always wants the best for us, he's never gonna do anything to, he will convict us, but he's not gonna condemn us, he's not going to make us feel less than. Uh, he's always uh working for our greatest good and for uh his glory. And once we are we're secure in that and our identity, then we're not seeking it from elsewhere. And um we it's a layer of our foundation that prepares us for when we are married, if that's the will of God, you know, for us, because we don't we're married, or we don't want to be pulling on our mates like you gotta make me feel this way. No, yeah, this is something that if if we're secure in who God has created us to be, then um we we are we're whole. He makes God makes us whole, and we're not that from other sources and uh leaking instead of you know being complete and and that place. Yeah, nothing lacking, nothing mixing. Absolutely when when we're when we like you said, whether you're single or you're married, like God has to be the center of your life. Like, you know, he has he has to be like he is the reason for my very existence, you know. And um, and and so I I really appreciate too when you talk about you talk about so much, so much great things, but you said here it is right here. You said, and this union, you said we are created to be one with the Lord, we are meant for him, and that's Ephesians 1, uh 5 through 6. And you said this is a match made in heaven and for heaven, he is ours and we are his. That kind of stuff just makes me cry when I hear that, and this union, oh, I just love this part. This union can satisfy all other longings. It really does. Um, I can't tell you. Oh, a couple of things come to mind um when you say that, can't tell you how many times, uh, just in my own personal journey, when the Lord has spoken to me, I think it's one of the greatest um joys of my life is to hear the Lord uh speak and when he uh showers us with his love. One time he said, you know, my love for you is a consuming fire. I adore you, uh, I've chosen you. When you said that you brought out the fact, you know, we are his, he is ours. Um, I'm not sure if you're familiar with the show, The Chosen, but um the very first episode uh was with they were talking about Mary Magdalene's story and how she was afflicted uh with demonic oppression. And um it was a scripture that her dad had given her years ago, like you know, the Lord says, I have formed you, I've created you, you are mine. And so we see her evolution um and her process, and she uh gets into some things and um needs healing, needs inner healing. And um she goes to a bar, asks the bartender for a drink, and he's like, You don't need any more. And he's she's like, give it to me because I'm in real pain. And so a hand um you see a hand appear on top of hers. And she looks at the man and she doesn't know who he is, and but she's reacting. And get away from it, get away from it. She goes to leave out, and then that man speaks that same scripture to her that her dad gave her all those years ago. Uh, I'm the Lord who performed you, he who created you, you know, you are mine. And you just see Mary collapse in his arms and um just because she's free and she realizes she has found the one whom her soul loves, and that man was Jesus that comes out after her. And so Jesus is always pursuing us. I think one of the main things uh with this book that the Lord wanted me to get across to single women is how much he loves them, how much he values, how much he cares for them, and how much he covers uh us, he cares for us. And uh I love that because I was definitely gonna ask you to talk about Mary Magdalene because you did it, you know, in the book so well. And so um, when it comes to um so in part of the identity and self-work, you talk about are single Christian women too picky, or do we have standards? Tell us more. Okay. So we uh again, when we are when we spend time with God and we know who God is, know who we are, it raises our standards as women as to who we want for a partner because we we've experienced the love of God. We know what real love is supposed to look like when we spend, and so when we want, and of course, everybody has something, anybody we meet here is going to be just a pale imitation of who uh Jesus is. What we we're looking at, you know, things like uh and especially because um as single women uh when or ever when we marry, again, when we're single, we only answer to God. You know, he tells us to do something, we can go do it. Be free, no issues. But when we decide to marry, you're now putting yourself under the leadership of someone who and in best case scenario, they're submitted to God. Because if they are submitted to God, you can form a Christ-centered household because God will be talking to you, but he's talking to the man too, and y'all both are one accord. And and then also God gives Christian women, I really feel a frequency. Somebody said godly women are the Holy Ghost in physical form, and they hear from God in a way sometimes that men can't. It's not that you know, but it's a frequency that godly women carry that helps that man become who he's called to be. But now if he's not godly and God tells you to do something like you, and like, okay, he's told me to go, you know, fund, you know, start this ministry or uh start this business. And a man is not submitted to God, you know, he'll say, Well, we're not going in that direction. So who are you gonna submit to? You go submit to God or you go submit to the man? And God tells us when we're married, we have to submit to that man, which is the importance, it's why it's so important that we as women are clear on our identity and our purpose first. Have to be clear on it because then whoever comes, you know they'll be in alignment with that, and we're not um competing because if if He's not godly. And you are, you are now seeking God every day, like, Lord, please deal with this heart so that I can do XYZ. And God knows how to shift hearts. The king's heart is in his hands, but it it's it's a bigger fight, and you are causing yourself unnecessary spiritual warfare when you link up with someone who is not uh in alignment with you. It's hard to it's easy to find a man, harder to find a good man, hardest to find a godly man. Godly man means but submitted to the lordship uh of Jesus Christ. If they're submitted to Jesus' lordship, y'all will do great things for the kingdom of God. Um, of course, I look at my parents, 44 years. Also, John and Lisa Bevere is another great example of a couple of the fruit of their relationship. Uh all our kids um uh serving and and doing well in ministry, loving God, serving God. Um, and you know, there's several other examples, but uh when it's done well, um you can really produce great fruit for the kingdom of God. But uh if we if we don't marry well, then it can produce a lot of heartache uh and pain. That's why we have to be um have standards. And and now there's some things um uh you know, like height, it's certainly like $100,000 and you know, some of those things can you know, negotiate like those are trivial. But when it comes to things like um, does he not only love God, but does he fear God? Meaning if God tells him to do something, he's gonna do it, he's not gonna, uh is he a part of a community, a church community? Is he submitted? Does he have mentors in his life, people who can speak to him and check him on stuff? Yeah, is he humble? Um, there will be sometimes when God will give the woman something and the man uh you know may think it's nagging, but no, she's actually a warrior. When that woman stands beside you in mayor, she is your warrior, she sees things that you don't and can help you in fulfilling, you know, your purpose and destiny. So that's the importance of single Christian women having standards. Yeah, that's good, that's good. And as you mentioned about identity, because this is one thing that I've been really um leaning into is going back to Genesis when who God created me to be, you know, being created in his image and in his likeness, like in his, you know, so I carry the character of God, you know, that means I should carry the character of God, I should function as he functions, meaning I should be creative, right? And do what he did. If I if I create something, call it good, right? And so a lot of times, you know, um with the stigma, I guess, sometimes with being single is that you're not good enough. And um, and so you're when you talk about identity and self-worth and um, you know, finding out for me, I will just say for me, when I was had gotten really sick, and I remember telling the Lord, you know, either show me who I am or take me on out of here. Let me just come on to the glory. And um, and instead he showed me who he was. I needed to know him, and and I've been a church girl all my life. Like I've been I tell people I've been saved since I was 12, saved and sanctified. I wasn't five baptized until I was 15, but but but but in but in all you know, um full transparency, I I was like, I I don't think I knew him the way I needed to know him. And so instead of showing me who I was in the script, he showed me who he was, and that was so powerful, and so that's why that statement when you say um we are his and he is ours, like nothing can separate me. Nothing can separate me from the love of God, and that he really does. I even wrote a song, and and in the song it says, Um, you satisfy this longing, he's the missing part of me, the part that I thought I needed someone else to feel, or I needed my children to feel, or I needed my parents to I God takes care of it all, every longing, he really does take care of it all. And so by him saying, This is who I am, because I need you to know I'm father, I need you to know I'm protector, I need you to know I am healer, I need you to know I I am everything for you. Like you will you will you will not lack nothing lacking and nothing missing because I have this beautiful relationship with him, and God is so concerned about our relationship with him, and so you talk about relationship concerns in the book. Excuse me, I get so full when I think about how how much he loves me. I think it I think when when people get a revelation of the love of God and how much he truly, truly loves us, that our lives shift, they shift for the better, you know, they shift for the better. Um, so you talk about relationship concerns, and um you talk about um does God pick your spouse for you? You said don't leave God out of your dating, and why get married? You talk about a lot going on in in here, and I really like that, but um so the challenge, what what do you see as the major challenge facing single Christian women and specifically those who are waiting on their boaz, you know, um, and and how they should not view that as the end goal, um but pleasing God should always be the that's the prize, you know what I mean? Yeah, so talk about that for a minute. Oh, um, so waiting on God for a spouse. Um, and there have been, you know, there's a lot out there in terms of you know the topic of relationships. And uh there was this gentleman, um, Sakou Brown, who has done, who has worked in ministry for years and really got down to numbers in terms of statistically, we're waiting for somebody who's not even in the building. It's not to say that there aren't godly men outside of the building, but um a lot of women, and particularly uh in um Christian culture, you know, we had books back in the day like I kissed dating goodbye, and you know, just kind of wait and just let God bring the person, you know, to and that's one way it can happen. Um again, every love story is different. Um but um we do as women also have agency in our decisions in terms of um and there was a lady I talk about, Veronique Butterfield, and she very unique approach. Um she was in the church in her 20s and didn't see, you know, and and said, Oh, I've got time, you know, but then 30s came around, and in her case, she wanted to have kids. So um, of course, have kids, you're on a bit of a time clock. Uh, not that we can't have them in our 40s and 50s, but it it's more challenging for our bodies to do that. Um so she um she decided to go on this adventure with God. Um, and her thing is she said, a lot of us have been in this uh are in a sanctified passivity mode. Well, if God wants it for me, he'll bring it. Versus like, hey, if you were trying to get a job, would you be just waiting around for somebody to come bring that to you? No, you'd be applying, you'd be, you know, reading up on play, connecting uh with people to say, hey, I'm looking for a new position. If you've got something, let me know. Um, updating your resume, updating your skills, learning new skills. And the same way she took that same approach uh with her dating life. She read books, she uh started going to outings uh because sometimes Christian women, it's it's you know, it's it's work, it's home, it's church, it's work, it's hard. Do you know, get out there and do some other things, go go out. Um, and there's even a list in the book of like a hundred different things that single women can do. Um just enjoy themselves, get out and enjoy life, uh, because people have to see you. Um so but um this lady, she uh you know, got even got her pastors involved uh with it and said she got a friend, she said, Hey, I'm I'm ready to get married, I want to have a family. If you see somebody who could potentially be a great match, let me know. She went out on uh several dates with different people, again, just collecting data and information. And it came down. She at first was limiting, she got online, did the dating apps, she had limited her search at first to Florida, but then expanded it to all 50 states. And it came down to a gentleman, I think, maybe in our area, but then there was another guy in Wyoming, and she brought these people before her pastors. And I mean, I think they both, or one in particular, wrote a letter for her talking about how much he wanted to, you know, um shower her with love and uh just be a husband to her. And um, and so the pastor said, there's a magic about this one that we don't see this one. And so she ended up getting married to this guy and moving to Wyoming to be with him. So in 18 months, she got married, but she was very intentional about work. She didn't just say, Well, God, go bring it to me. You know, I'm gonna sit up, I'm gonna go to work, I'm gonna go to church, I'm gonna be if if that's something you want, and God made, and again, every love story is different, but God may lead women. We do have agency in this. You know, we just gotta wants us to, you know, so again, taking care of ourselves, um getting taking care of our bodies because the the man is supposed to prepare the place. Yeah. The Bible talks about um in my father's house on many mansions, Jesus is preparing a place for us. On the women's side, we are to prepare ourselves. The bride makes herself ready. So things like taking care of your health and you know, getting out of sleep, eating well, doing all the things uh to just make sure that we're the best that we can be. Those things will help in terms of um, you know, find, of course, praying for the mate, praying diligently for them. Um and then, and sometimes it's a timing issue. Um, because again, it's important God wants us firm on who we are, He wants us firm on our purpose first before uh He presents that person because that alignment uh is so important. Um, so though those are a few notes in terms of just um uh the when it comes to dating or or when it comes to finding um or preparing for marriage and uh that search. Yeah, that's so interesting. Um so is is her story in the book? Because I didn't get to that part yet. It is okay. But she's all she also has her own website. Um and it it tells people how, and particularly single women, especially if they want to have kids, how to go from being single and stuck, she says, to being married and just under. And um somebody said it's important that um the man wants to be a husband and a father, not just wants a wife and kids. Because y'all together. Meaning it's it should be, you know, it's not just her dishes, like awareness. And especially if they both work, then there should both be contribution, you know, to the household. Again, every relationship is different, and uh the theme works out. That's it's but um yeah, it's real important that whoever we pick, like they really want um partnership. They want um they appreciate your light, like you said earlier. Um you don't ever want to have to dim your light. Whoever the person is, they should appreciate the light that you bring. They should want you to be your best, they should want you uh to succeed and prosper because it means if you're prospering, then so is he. The one win that you're winning is both of y'all's win. It's a win for the team, it's not just a win for uh him, but I I've I've heard of some horror stories where um men um they call them come up men, or or they call them um uh you know, they they will um they will get with women not because they love them, not because they really want to cherish and be uh partners with them, but because they are it's an opportunity, it's a way for them to gain clout, it's a way for them to um um uh fulfill whatever um selfish ambition uh they have. And they know the only way they could do open certain doors is with uh a wife by their side. Yeah, yeah, so true, so true. This is so good. So um as a woman who's been married and divorced, and so and like at some point, you know, you're filling out applications of uh I know it's on medical records when I have to fill out something, you know, the new forms, and like they put single, married, divorced. So I just started putting single because I've been divorced so long, you know, because it just feels that way, and um, and so one of the things, you know, and I I will say that I was on the fence for a while about getting married again, and um, and then I received this prophecy from this this person, like probably a couple of years after my divorce, and he said, he said, God made your wife, and which I I I really believe that. Like, I I know I'm a wife, you know, because men find wives, they don't just find a woman when you husbands husbands find wives, and so one of my scriptures though, Teresa, I will tell you that I pray um is Proverbs uh 11 and 12. It says, The heart of her heart of the heart of her husband doth safely trust in her so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. And so my daughter and I were talking yesterday, and I told her, you know, this is a prayer, because I was showing her my vision thing that I had sketched out and printed out for my to put on the wall, and and um, and I had a picture down there for me of marriage. And so, but that that proverbs is what, and I and I only did it because I really felt the Lord pulling me to it. I told my friends uh when I turned 56 last September, and uh, and um, and I told them I I I was struggling so because I really enjoy my single life. I like I really enjoy not having to ask nobody for nothing. If I want to go, if I want to get up to 12, I ain't got to give up. And if I want to go and go somewhere, just have lunch with whoever, you know, with my girlfriends or with a colleague or whatever, you know, is the freedom. I just have to tell you the truth, like the freedom, and the most important piece of it all, um, when my parents were still living, was you know, um being able to do things that were in my heart to do that I never got to do when I was married. Because, like you said, who you marry matters, like you need a husband, somebody that's gonna be in alignment with the word of God and the will of God, that what God has called him to do and what he's called you to do, those those are an alignment, you know, just like your parents, like the work that God had called them. It's because it's a huge work, like a mega church, but it was also mega ministry throughout the city and the world, actually. So, so that that that comes with tears, that comes with that comes with warfare, that comes with so much. And so you have to be, you have to have the right partner. And so that's one of the things that um that I personally pray for now because I feel like God has placed that desire in me now for marriage. But I'm so great. I tell I always tell God though, like, you know, if if it doesn't happen, me and you are really good. Because I I enjoy being with my family when I want to be with them and hanging out. Um, but most importantly, I enjoy fulfilling the will of God for my life. Like to see that God, every that the God-given ideas that He's given me, not just not every idea, but the ones that I know He's called me to, to be able to do this right now is powerful for me because nobody's making me do anything else, you know. It's like I don't have to ask permission. There's nothing wrong with submitting, but you know what I'm saying? But there's there's there's a beauty, there's a there's a freedom, you know, and and um, and I just believe that you know, praying those two scriptures, praying the my mama, my mother always told us um to pray the word of the Lord, you know, pray the word of God. Like this is this is that's because that's your only point of reference, you know. I don't want to, I don't want to marriage like anybody else. I don't want my single life to look but I want to I want it to be according to the word of God, you know, and I'm really um intentional about that now. And so I love love that you mentioned that about for those who are looking for that, but then there are some who just like, you know what, I love my single life, you know, and I I have relatives like that. They're like, you know what, I ain't trying to, you know, they may have been married and divorced, and they're not trying to do that no more. And they're like, uh-uh, I'm just I'm happy with my career, with my family. And so what would you say to that woman, you know, especially so so I I guess I really want you to speak to two groups. I want you to speak to the 20 and 30 year olds or to 39, and then speak to those 40 and over. Oh, great, great question. They're in different places, you know. Absolutely. Absolutely. So uh 20 to 39 group, and again, if you are if you're good with your single life, and that's so much better, that's where that's where we want to be. Yeah, we we're good with God, we're good with the life that He's given us, and uh we're you know, working every day, um becoming more like Christ and more like the person he has called us to be. If marriage is a goal for you, and it's and if family is a goal for you, 20 to 39-year-olds, make sure you make that a priority, you know, pretty early. Um, and then um for 40s on, if that's a priority, uh there are people out there, um God has a love story for every person, I believe, who wants it and is in alignment with uh what he wants uh for their lives. And um it's just you know, it it'll look a little different for the 40 uh and up crowd because um and especially when it comes to having children. Now there are many other ways to do it in terms of having a family, uh know um one person, one couple now they've adopted uh two beautiful uh sons. Um sponsorship, there's ways to uh sponsor kids if you don't necessarily want to take on the responsibility of bearing them yourself. There's a lot of children out there who need love and care. Absolutely. Yeah, so um it there there are ways, um there are many ways to do that. I know a couple uh in our church that they've been married to other people, their spouses passed, uh they you know took their time a year or two to grieve, and then God brought them together. And they're in their 60s and 70s. Um you know, so uh love is right, and so it's uh never too late for love. Marriage is not necessarily about the right time, but it's being with the right person. That's good. That's wisdom. That's good about being with the right person. Yeah. This is this is something, you know. You're you to me, just sitting here talking to you, you're so wise beyond your years. I wasn't wise like that at 40. I was I was I wouldn't like that. And um and I was going through divorce at that time too. And it's just like I was, I remember feeling lost and all of those things. And you know, because life was changing. And I had teenagers, you know, 14 and 15, and and trying to navigate what it meant to be single when I got married so young at 21, you know. And it was like I've never really lived because I was a child. I was pretty still much a kid, you know, at 21. You, you know, you still, you still went behind the ears and stuff. And so um, you know, I I didn't know. I remember asking the Lord, Tracy. Um I was sitting at church, and at the time I just recently joined, um, I just joined the Mississippi Boulevard Christian Church. And um, I remember sitting in the balcony asking the Lord, could he ever use me again? Because I thought that the gift that he gave me of music, of singing, and um that I wasn't gonna have it because I was now divorced. And so as a single woman, I I didn't know, I didn't I didn't know if he would. You know what I mean? And that's and and there may be some people out there facing things who are um who've never been married, and so they they may fill this void, and then there are those who are newly single because of divorce. Like what what what advice or wise counsel would you give them in terms of feeling confident in who they are and who God created them to be? You are a perfect example of what God can do. It divorce is not the end. I mean, being featured in USA Today, you are your reach for better, your women in position podcast, your ABR firm, all the different things that you're uh doing and uh producing for the kingdom of God. You're being fruitful and multiplying. That never stops. That was God's call to us from the beginning, and that never ends, whether you uh have a partner or not. There's a scripture in the Bible for those who have been divorced, and God talks about how he divorced Israel. He refers to himself as divorced because Israel was unfaithful. It's always the cycle of Israel loves God, God loves Israel, Israel goes and does something stupid, and they can God has to move to their own devices, and then they get in trouble, and they're like, God, please tell me if God likes to come back. And so it's it's it's it's a never, you know, uh, and that's the same way, you know, with us as believers. We have these times we know God loves us, you know, we love Him, and but sometimes we stray away and come back. So no divorce uh is is not the end by any means. God uses uh everyone and and perfection is not required. If perfection was required, we wouldn't have a Bible. You know, everybody that God used had flaws, had or dealt with uh things, dealt with issues, um, had um uh things that, you know, just different things that they had to uh overcome. Um, of course, is not uh the end at all. It's actually it can actually be a new beginning, of course, once we feel and take that time to um recalibrate, you know, with God and um and then uh go back out there and like, okay, go try it again. Yeah, and then um with you know, those sometimes people have uh those who have never been married, um, of course there is uh somebody talked about how sometimes the singleness weighs differently as a girl, especially if if uh you know you've never had uh anyone and never had a relationship, but a primary relationship again were made for God. For God, so that's our main relationship. And in fact, there won't be marriage in heaven, so our singleness is actually preparation for our lives uh in heaven, and but it will be because the glory will be so great in heaven that we won't need you know marriage. Yeah, that's so good. So good, so good. This has been so awesome. Well, listen, I I didn't put a graphic up of the book, but I will hold it up so people can see it. And uh, I'm gonna put how you can get the book, you'll see that in the show notes below. Um, but it is definitely, like I said, to me, it really does feel like a workbook. Like you have to go and apply these things. Um, and I will also say, you know, having I was over, I was partnered with some partnering someone to do singles ministry at um at a church for a very short time because I wasn't good at it, but I just you know, I just didn't really know, you know, I was new to it, and so I wasn't a good leader, and uh I stepped down right quick. But anyway, what I will say is that if you are a leader uh of a singles ministry at church, or you you know, you have a girlfriend's club and you're a single Christian woman woman, this this is such a great read for you, such a great um accountability place. It's learning, but it's also the um uh an opportunity for accountability, like it's just so much. It's so much, it's so good. And um, I can't wait to finish going through it all um because the examples are are so good, and and the way you just break you and you have a whole bibliography, so you we can see that you did your studying, honey. You you just listen, you you did it. Um you talk about standing on the premises of God, you talk about Christ is better. Um what drives our fear of settling? Oh, Jesus, we didn't even get to that part. Listen now, so I'm gonna let you touch on that. You you gotta talk about that. What drives what why does fear drive us to settle? Why? Oh, um, so again, uh I think a lot of it is uh pressure from society. Um and you know, when you see other couples getting married, especially for women as time goes on and no prospects have emerged, and like, okay, what's going on? Um, there is this sense of okay, if I don't pick or if God doesn't bring me somebody, I will be single and alone forever. That that will never you know happen uh for me. But for one, we are never alone. God is our and he said he was our husband, he's our maker, we belong to him, so he's we're never alone. Um and then you know, we all settle it with because here's the thing, we're all sinners. If we marry, we're marrying a sinner. You know, we're we're all settling, they're settling with us, we're settling with them because we all have stuff, we all have stuff, but but it's how we settle. Um going back to you know, certain standards. Um not a list of how long, but certain we should see Jesus in the person. Yeah, that's good. You when you first started um talking about it, you made me think of Sarah and uh Hagar, um, you know, because fear drove her to make a blessing happen. And so when we drive ourselves or allow fear to drive us in in instead of uh patience, and and there's just so much, you know, there's you know, and I I think I saw myself in here so well because it's like you know, there's so much we can be focused, we can we can be focusing on, you know, and serving others and and um and not just in the church, but just serving where where where is God leading your heart to? You know, is it it's is it to go read to children in the hospital? Is it go is it to go volunteer somewhere? There's just so many ways that we can um be evangelists, if you will, you know, and and um because we're all called to to share this got this good news, the gospel. And and I believe we need to find out what that is. Like if we seek seek the kingdom first and not what we feel like we need, like what we feel is missing. Like you said, when the desire is there and you feel God, the closer we are to God, the more we'll know how to move. Like your like your example of the sister who you know, she she did, she expanded her search, and you know, she was very intentional, but you can tell that was really more godless, like she really was um intentional, like you said. And so, um, you know, because they're not gonna find you if you never come out the house, but you know, and uh so so so that makes sense, you know. But I I do I do pray that um whoever gets this book, when you get this book, that you you know, you that you decide to live and don't just wait on Boaz as a woman, as you're as a woman in position, as a position woman, a woman who's who's who's concerned more about purpose, and know that God knows. I would say that God gives you the desires of your heart so that He can literally give you the desires of your heart. You can experience it, you know, you can live it, you can enjoy it, and thank Him for it. Um, and then just wait on His timing. Like I just believe there's a time. We make a decision that this is what I want, and in the meantime, God, I'm going to live. And this, and so it's definitely a testimony for me that I'm living, I ain't just waiting. But I didn't I didn't know that until you know, and so and even just the connection of how this relationship that I have with God is so like it's so irreplace, you just can't replace it's it's a one of a kind, and I think that I I pray that sisters, you know, that we position our heart, our heart posture is one that you know, God, I love you and I thank you for loving me. And if if nothing, and you know how the old saints used to say, if he don't do another thing, he done done enough. He done he hees and God and the Holy Ghost never done enough, you know, if he never does another thing. So thank you so much for your obedience and writing this. And I must say that I'm excited about I want I want that identity book because that's something I teach in our um, you know, I often uh I'm I'm gonna be starting our summer cohort of the collective, and identity is is really the focus of what God has called me to to really share with women and building our confidence and like going doing what he called us to do without shrinking. Like you don't shrink, you you shine, let the light of God that's in you shine and do what he's called you to do in ministry in the marketplace, especially in the marketplace. People need saving, rich people need saving, middle class people need saving, billionaires need saving. So wherever he positions you and your work, like know that God, God has positioned you there so that he can be glorified and that you can share the gospel in the in a way that you know is is maybe untraditional, but but just just just you know move according to how he's called you to move and and just move in him and love him. So thank you so much for your obedience. Thank you, thank you. Thank you, Renee, for this. Any closing words? Such a pleasure. Uh, just grateful for you, grateful for this time. Thank you for the opportunity uh to share with the audience. Uh single women, the Lord loves you, He chooses you, He honors you, He adores you. And um, I hope this conversation has helped you to uh realize that. God bless you all. Amen, amen. We're listening, thank you so much for tuning in. Whether you listen on the Apple Podcast, Spotify, Amazon Music, wherever you're listening to this on YouTube. Thank you so much. If you are watching this on YouTube, I do ask that you subscribe and share this because that is a way to evangelize. That that's being uh a minister of the gospel. You're sharing this, so make sure you like and share, subscribe, and uh please tune in with us again. And until then, I I encourage you as a positioned woman to walk in purpose and live, live, child, in destiny. So just live and don't don't just wait, just live. Amen. God bless you.