You’re Always Manifesting, Even When You Aren’t Aware of It

Let’s get one thing straight—manifestation is not a vibe, it’s a full-time energetic broadcast.

And in this episode, Erica Cordeiro rips the filters off your vision board and gets real about the deeper layers of subconscious sabotage, hormone chaos, motherhood fatigue, and why joy has been so damn elusive (until now).

Erica shares a raw, reflective recap of her latest psilocybin journey, where the medicine didn’t deliver tears—it delivered truth: JOY is the missing frequency. Not because it’s unavailable, but because we haven’t been taught how to create it.

From the emotional weight of high prolactin levels to watching her husband transform from one Joe Dispenza meditation, this episode is a masterclass in radical self-responsibility, energetic sovereignty, and what it really means to live a conscious, co-creative life.

🔮 Inside This Episode:

• What it really means to “manifest” (and how you’re unconsciously f*cking it up)
• Why your nervous system has more to do with results than your mindset
• How elevated prolactin + hormone imbalances are energetically linked to burnout
• Using breathwork to excavate subconscious loops
• Psilocybin as the mirror you didn’t know you needed
• The unexpected power of JOY (and why most of us don’t feel it)
• Joe Dispenza meditations decoded (and why they hit different during plant medicine)
• Why motherhood often feels sacrificial—and how to rewrite that frequency
• How to stop focusing on what’s “wrong” and anchor in what’s right
• The truth about multi-passionate creators, ADHD brains, and niche pressure

📍 Timestamps:
00:00 — Dropping in: barefoot, sweaty, alive
04:40 — Why joy showed up in the middle of lab results + nature walks
10:20 — Lost bloodwork, breathwork magic & a spontaneous psychic reading
16:50 — Hormonal chaos, high prolactin, and the “fuck it” moment
20:10 — Motherhood rage, emotional suppression, and sacred anger
26:00 — The mushroom journey that brought JOY instead of tears
31:50 — How Joe Dispenza cracked open her husband’s heart
39:30 — What advanced meditations really do (and why weird = effective)
45:10 — Dancing to Lil’ Jon + reparenting the inner child through frequency
49:00 — The truth about manifesting illness + subconscious sabotage
53:00 — Shifting relationships by shifting your broadcast
56:00 — Redefining wealth: it’s not bags, it’s peace
59:00 — Wrapping with a call to radical accountability

Tags: manifestation not working, how to feel joy again, psilocybin for healing, high prolactin symptoms, subconscious mind and manifestation, ADHD spiritual entrepreneur, Joe Dispenza podcast, breathwork for trauma, hormone imbalance and burnout, motherhood and sacrifice, joy after trauma, how to manifest health, energy healing podcast, reparenting yourself, manifestation with ADHD

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alignwitherica

Email: Hello@alignwitherica.com

Book A Reading: https://stan.store/Alignwitherica/p/book-a-11-call-with-me-y1fc273u

Transcript

Erica Cordeiro (00:01.24)
Hello again. So I have no idea what's on the agenda today as per the years. You know, I love just dropping in here and hopping on and just saying what comes to mind. But I do have direction today. And I really, really want to talk about joy in manifestation.

and manifesting the good, the bad, the ugly. And I also want to talk about a recent journey that I took. So I guess I'll start with a recent journey. First of all, I just came in from, it is hot as hell outside. And I just went on this really long walk by myself. And during my walk, I made an effort to

be really, really present in the moment. I felt my feet hitting the pavement. I felt the non-existent breeze that would sometimes come through. I felt the energy of the trees and the heat of the sun. And I just looked at the grass. I looked at the flowers and I looked at the trees and I was like, holy shit.

This is how beautiful I want to be. Like I want to feel this beautiful. Like as beautiful as nature is, that's how beautiful I want to feel. And I realized it wasn't necessarily like.

how they looked, although that played a part, it was their role in our world, their role in our society. I was like, thanking the trees for the production of oxygen. And I was thanking the soil for growing the food that we eat sometimes and the regenerative of life. know, it's a very, we live in a very,

Erica Cordeiro (02:12.436)
cyclical like ecosystem where one thing thrives off of another and you know during my walk there were cardinals which they're very very present here. I live in North Carolina. There was two or three that flew like really close to my face. I'm talking about like maybe like two feet maybe even closer and I was like taking it back. I was like shit and

I always ask, like, okay, what in that moment was going through my head for these cardinals to give me confirmation? And at that time, I was thinking about manifestation and two things that I'm manifesting right now. Just two, just two. They're very fucking big things, but I am manifesting them. And I treat manifestation like it's a workout regimen. I do not fuck around.

With vision boards, I have graduated from vision boards. We are on to frequency. We are on to embodiment. We are on to, okay, our thoughts really do create our reality. But then we also have our subconscious thoughts that also create our reality. So how can I excavate those subconscious thoughts and bring them into my present conscious awareness so that they no longer control the outcome of my manifestations? Do you catch my drift? If not, stay with me.

So I'm gonna back it up a little bit and I wanna talk about everything that led me to being appreciative of nature today. And it started with one day my husband and I went to go get lunch and this was maybe like two or three weeks ago. And there was this clinic, so we love Thai food, so there's a Thai restaurant, but in the same building there was this clinic and this clinic,

was all about, it's called Forever Young. And I was like, hmm, what is that? And basically what they do is they do like functional medicine, they do like facials and Botox and all of these cool things, which fuck that. I really, something in me was like, go in there. And I'm not usually somebody who will just like walk in and be like, hey, what's up? But something was like, go in there. So I go in there.

Erica Cordeiro (04:41.742)
And long story short.

I ended up getting lab work done. And if you watched my stories, maybe like a week before that, I talked about how I went and I got lab work done. And during that lab session, I guess, so to speak, one of the girl who was drawing my blood was like, oh, how many tattoos do you have? And I was like, I think I have 14. And she was like, what does this mean? And I was like, oh, this is a...

She's like, are those lungs? I was like, yeah, I'm a breathwork practitioner. And she was like, what's breathwork? is, listen, so common down here. Like breathwork, if you're not in this like world of personal development, you more than likely have never fucking heard of breathwork. So I explained to her that I guide people into using their breath as a way, or a vehicle rather to heal their trauma.

expand their awareness, get them into a different state of consciousness. And she was like, I've never heard of that. And I was like, yeah, it's really cool. It's like doing drugs without doing drugs. Fucking love breath work. And she was like, is that all you do? And I was like, no, I'm actually, I'm a psychic medium too. And she was like, tell me about myself. And I was like, whenever someone...

says that to me, I'm like, girl, I can go in a thousand fucking directions, what do you wanna know? And she was like, tell me the most pressing thing that I need to hear right now. And I was like, okay, you keep making the same decision over and over again. You keep picking the same partner over and over again. And spirit just wants you to take a chill pill on picking the same partner.

Erica Cordeiro (06:35.464)
and becoming aware of the partner that you're picking, because when you pick the same partner, you're going to repeat the same cycles, thus receiving the same heartbreak. And her jaw dropped. And long story short, basically, she was saying how every partner that she's ever had cheated on her. And I was like, yeah, that's the partner. And I looked over and there were like two other girls in the room and one of them. And I said to her,

the girl who's drawing my blood, I was like, the partner that I see you ending up with is someone you already know and he feels very, very fucking boring. And sometimes boring, our brains don't like boring, especially our bodies, our brains, our nervous system doesn't like boring, especially when we're used to having the thrill. And I was like, but I'm telling you right now, I'm being told to tell you.

that you are never gonna be able to change a man, but you can change the type of man that you choose. And someone in the background was like, Brian. And I was like, who's Brian? And she's like, he's a father of my children. He's really boring. All he does is play pool. And I was like, yeah, I'm not saying it's Brian, but he feels boring to you. But there's going to be trust. There's going to be love. There's going to be.

mutual respect for one another, reciprocity, there's going to be open communication, and there's going to be eventually great sex. So sometimes boring feels weird at first, but I promise you boring can feel great after a while. So anyway, that was a side tangent, but what I was trying to say here is that they lost my blood work.

They lost my blood work, so a week later when my husband and I were going to lunch, I walk in this place, I get my blood, I get my labs done and I get my labs back. And it turns out that I was interested in getting like hormone replacement therapy. Well, interested, like toying with the idea, but also like, what does my blood work say? I'm not a doctor.

Erica Cordeiro (08:51.606)
Really, like, I understand how spirit works. I understand all of this shit, but I also understand that I live in a physical world with actual fucking hormones. And as much as I feel like I did not have the power to influence my hormones, I wanted to see if there was any support I can get. You know, I make decisions like I don't... Long-term planning is not my forte.

Don't ask me what I'm doing next week. I don't even know what I'm doing tomorrow. Actually, I will tell you what I'm doing tomorrow in a little bit, because I do know. But I'm a day-by-day kind of person. And I usually use my emotions as my guide, right? So I don't know how I'm going to be feeling two days from now. But I do know that...

In that moment, I was like, I need something for my hormones. I live a pretty...

I move my body often. I eat my protein. I eat predominantly healthy. Yes, I do indulge a little bit, but I'm fucking human and I enjoy food and food makes me happy. But for the amount that I am like in my body with all these tools to regulate my nervous system, it's like, why can't I sleep? Why can't I lose weight? Why can't I?

Whatever. So basically for a while now, I've been feeling sorry for myself And I'm like I do all of these things but none of it is working. I felt like a Toddler having a tantrum, but not really like I'm like, okay. Let's just go let's figure out let's figure out what's happening right like diagnosis just fucking give me something so that clinic called me back and they're like we got your lab work done, but we can't touch you with a 10-foot pole because

Erica Cordeiro (11:00.32)
your prolactin levels are elevated. And I was like, hmm, prolactin. I look it up and then I looked at my old lab work from last July and it turns out my prolactin levels were elevated then too. And the guy didn't really wanna say this to me, but I was like, okay, so what is the worst case scenario? And he was like, worst case scenario is that you have a tumor. And I was like, cool. All right, so what's...

the best case scenario and he's like, best case scenario is that, you know, your thyroid is just doing this thing and that whatever. I won't get into details here, but basically I was like, okay, so there is something wrong with my prolactin levels. And when you Google this, if I do happen to have a tumor, it would be more than likely benign. And the...

Pituitary gland is the master gland. So it basically tells all of your hormones what to do. So when your pituitary gland is off, all your the rest of your hormones can't function and It's kind of like a chicken-in-the-egg scenario like it could fuck up your thyroid so more than likely you're like, it your thyroid? Is it your pituitary? Sometimes it could start with the thyroid and then mess up your pituitary and sometimes it's your pituitary that messes up your thyroid

but it doesn't matter, like it just doesn't matter. So that's something that I've been dealing with. when I, like I said, I treat manifestation like it's a workout regimen, like actually not even a workout regimen. I treat manifestation like I'm training for a fucking marathon. So I am very consistent with manifestation. It is like a lifestyle for me. It's not.

Like I said, it's not fucking vision boarding and writing in my journal. my God, that's so cute. I'm just gonna like manifest that and it's gonna come to me. Yes, I do believe that's possible. Yes, that's actually happened to me before, but I am very, very intentional with what I think. And with all of the knowledge that I have around manifestation, releasing a whole fucking manifestation course,

Erica Cordeiro (13:25.734)
And I still get messages from people today saying how that course changes their life. And I didn't even market it. I didn't even, like after I was done, or during, if you purchase this course, this is probably gonna be the first time you're hearing about this, but in the middle of creating that course, I realized that there are so many more layers to manifestation.

And I feel like by the end of it, I was giving too much and not really hammering in on the things that mattered. So it's not like, let's say you happen to purchase the course or you do purchase it. Like there's just, there's so much information in there. There's so much. It's a very, very well-rounded course, but could I have simplified it? Absolutely. Absolutely. So that's my one gripe about the course. And that's really why I don't talk about it. Cause it feels like a lot of work.

Maybe I'll release another version of it or simplify that or create a whole different one that feels more aligned with what I know now. But here's what I'm trying to get at. I have not been able to consistently lose weight.

Erica Cordeiro (14:49.966)
Forever. think, mean sustainably I've lost maybe like 30 pounds in the last two and a half years and that's wonderful. Like that's a great like sustainable weight loss, right? But if I am not really, really, really just slaving away with the physical activity on being really, really diligent about my macros, which

I know I should be so I shouldn't be complaining about it. Like I cannot lose weight. And in the past it used to be so easy for me. Like so easy. But so I'm older and I was like, okay, it's my hormones. Something's wrong with my hormones. And then I got labs done last year and they were like, yep, you're in perimenopause. And I was like, fuck. So I kept drilling that in my head. I'm like, I'm in perimenopause.

my testosterone is low. This is why I can't lose weight, which yes, all of those things are valid. Yes, it's very true. I'm 38 years old, going on 39. Perimenopods can happen at any time, and I'm showing all of the signs of it. But...

Okay, let's switch gears for a second here. I lost my train of thought. Paramedic pause, blah, blah. I don't even know if I'm gonna edit this part out. You guys are gonna see me talking to myself in real life. This is what happens when you have ADHD, which is not a bad thing. It's a very, very beautiful thing. Damn, what was I gonna say?

Erica Cordeiro (16:34.414)
Okay, I'll just bring it to you what I was gonna say.

Mother's Day, which was, when was that? 10 days ago? I don't know why I need to know this. no. So it was Sunday, May 11th. Every Mother's Day, my husband and I do this thing where we will rent an Airbnb.

and we will sit with psilocybin. And I think I spoke about this in one of my psilocybin episodes, but I'm gonna talk about it again today. But I'll talk about our last journey. So whenever you sit with a medicine, the medicine has this beautiful way of handing up this mirror, and it's like here.

Here's where you're fucking up in your life. Here's where things could be better. Here it's the truth. I call it the mirror of fucking truth. And every journey that I've ever had, I have always cried, profusely cried. It always starts off with me crying. And typically she shows me the medicine shows me where I could do better.

in motherhood, in marriage, in business. And that's because I want to know these things. I go to the medicine to heal or be reflected the parts of myself that are buried deep within my subconscious. Maybe things that I can improve on, maybe things that like, you know, aren't in alignment with my soul. And your soul is always

Erica Cordeiro (18:40.002)
vibrating 100 % of the time at the frequency of love. when your soul, during a journey, your soul comes into the picture. So it's a collaborative effort between the medicine and your soul. You can also call it your higher self. You can also call it your inner being. I like to refer to it as my soul. So your soul will be like, okay, let's work together with

Mama's still a siren and we're just gonna like show her, okay, here's where she could do better. Here is where, here's what she could release. Here is like, you know, maybe a failure that are failure. I don't think anything is negative or positive. Everything is valid and in everything. I don't even know how to say this. Just, I don't believe in like bad things happening. I always believe in things just happening.

and the things that happen are always for your highest, greatest good, whether or not you believe that or not. I believe that's what the medicine taught me. But.

Erica Cordeiro (19:51.704)
During this journey or before it happened, I was actually really mad at my husband, really, really mad at my husband. And I was kind of in a victim mentality because ever since I realized my prolactin levels were high, I did a lot of research on what creates prolactin levels to be elevated.

And usually it's high, high stress. So living in a constant state of fight or flight, living in fear, just high stress, like high cortisol for a sustained period of time. I then, between the time of my journey and the time I got my labs back, which was only maybe like a week or so, I was just so angry at my husband because...

I was like...

Erica Cordeiro (20:54.348)
I mean, I haven't really spoken about what happened in our marriage, but it just wasn't the greatest. Okay, I'm just gonna leave it at that. It wasn't the greatest. And I was like, you contributed to the levels of like, like what if I have a fucking tumor dude? Like I was in a state of high stress and he actually apologized and said,

I'm sorry and kind of accepted that I was going to be mad at him. And that was actually one of the first times in our relationship where he wasn't trying to fix something because like, how could you fucking fix something that happened? You know what I mean? Other than to give me my space and allow me to process what was happening. So I really fell into this state of like victim mentality. But then also,

One other beautiful thing that occurred was I realized I have never allowed myself to be angry. I'm not usually that kind of person. I feel like when some people get on the medicine or they go to like these ceremonies, they like have this rage that arises. And I have never been that person. Even when I felt angry towards him, it wasn't rage. was more like this like, like I felt

in my throat, that there was some stagnation there. I felt my heart, I felt, and maybe that's what rage is. we process it differently. But it was a new sensation for me to feel that sort of anger. And if I'm being honest, it was really, really amazing to feel, because I was like, I could feel that. Because I've...

I don't know how many times I've tried to pull anger out of me. like, I know it's there somewhere. I fucking know I'm angry, but I couldn't pull it out of me. So I allowed myself to sit in that without trying to fix it, without trying to neutralize it, without trying to make sense of what it was, other than to be aware of the emotion in and of itself. I just allowed.

Erica Cordeiro (23:17.74)
and it felt really good to allow. during our, like on the way down, we ran to this Airbnb, which is an hour away. And coincidentally, my husband got his first ever psychic reading from a dear friend of mine named Sonia. Now Sonia lives in Brazil. She is a reader who,

I just absolutely love her channel because she records like this hour long podcast style reading and then she'll send it to you and you can listen to it on your own time. And I actually really, really like that because I've, it feels so personal. It feels like a little gift, right? So my husband got one and he, for some reason is very open to Sonia.

which is quite interesting because if I were like, yeah, you want a psychic reading from this person? He'd be like, fuck no, I hate psychics. I don't believe in them. Hello, hi, it's me. Yes, and I don't care that he doesn't either by the way, but he's starting to. But during this reading, Sonia just really, really, really encapsulated

the essence of my husband and mirrored it back to him. She was like, she said things along the lines of like, you are such a strong person and people gravitate towards you. And because people, when they're around you, they kind of, you exude this frequency of power. And when people are around you, they kind of like, you know,

feel powerful. And she compared him to, I don't know who the main character was in 300, Gerard Butler's character. She was like, you're like a warrior and like this, this and that. Basically all of the beautiful and great qualities about my husband, Sonia took and she spoke about them and he listened. And it was...

Erica Cordeiro (25:45.378)
I feel like that was divinely orchestrated that we received that reading right before we took the medicine because although my husband is a very, very strong individual, sometimes people can't see their own strengths, right? It's like when people are like, you're so beautiful and you're like, thanks, right? It's like one of those situations where...

Sometimes we need to hear it. And I think for him to hear it from someone, one who's never seen him before, who doesn't fucking know anything about him, who is just really reading his energy, made him feel a little bit more confident. So every time my husband has done psilocybin, or any plant medicine for that matter, he has fun and it pisses me off. I'm like over here in the fucking corner crying and.

feeling guilty about not being a good enough mother, not being a good enough wife. And he's over here like laughing like fucking one time, I think a rug turned into a dog and the dog was still a rug. And so now we refer to it as a dog rug. And other times he's like playing with the fire with his eyes and like making, I don't know what he does with it, but I was like always so jealous that he had.

journey like that and I was like man I would really love to have a journey like that one day. So and again every journey I'm crying and usually it's like I'm not spending enough time with my kids I'm traumatizing them it's always about my kids always always always about my kids like not feeling like a good enough mother and I realize

that could very well, you know, in hindsight be my mother's own wounds that were encoded into my DNA that I was then releasing during those journeys. That's what I just heard. Like, that's actually what was happening because I think I'm a great mother. I really do. Do I have ADHD? I'm so fucking loosely, but I think I'm a great mother. But before every journey, I set an intention.

Erica Cordeiro (28:08.79)
And my intention for this journey, well, typically every journey is like, I surrender to the medicine, but this time I came in with a clear intention, very, very clear. It was like, I need to know how to heal my pituitary gland. I need to know how to heal my pituitary gland. I also need to know.

And okay, I'm like, am I gonna shoot myself in the foot here by saying this or like what's happening? But when you're in this space of entrepreneurship and being an online figure and like creating courses and doing things, you kind of have to have a niche, right? That's what they tell you, have a niche, like talk about one thing. Because when you talk about one thing, you magnetize those people to you, which in return creates.

more money for you because like you talk about one thing and people are like, I need that thing. So you solve one problem. I've never been able to solve one problem. I've never been able to hone in on like, what is a problem that I solve? So I came to the medicine with those two things. How do I actually help people? How do I really, really serve the people?

in my life who come to me, because I can go a thousand different ways. Just like when that woman who was taking my blood asked me, what do I need to know right now? I'm like, fuck, there's so many ways I could go about this. So I'm, I call myself a multi-passionate, sparkly, neurodivergent, spicy woman who can talk about a billion things.

and actually be really good at a million things. I'm gonna give myself credit there, but I never give myself long enough to keep the wheels in motion without one thing, right? Cause I'm like, ooh, squirrel, ooh, squirrel, ooh, this new thing. And I'm gonna let myself do it. So we take the medicine and we dive all in and then...

Erica Cordeiro (30:23.027)
I forgot to mention this part.

Okay, no, we take the medicine and I'm waiting for the tears to start and the tears didn't come. And I was like, I was seriously in my head and I was like, okay, when are the tears gonna come? Can we just get the tears over with? I just wanna cry it out. Show me that I'm fucking up as a mother. Show me where I could be doing better. Like show me, show me, show me. And then it never came and I was like, whoa.

Okay. And there's a point when you take medicine where like you kind of have to surrender to her and then you can converse with her. And I love that part when I'm like, okay, now can we have a conversation? Can we sit down and talk about this? And I just got like,

I was like, show me what's going on with my pituitary gland. Show me how to heal it. And you know what I got?

I got, you are not feeling enough joy. And I was like, Joy? What the fuck is joy? What the fuck does joy feel like? And I tried so hard to...

Erica Cordeiro (31:54.798)
instances in my life where I feel like would have closely resembled the frequency or the vibration of joy. And I couldn't. It wasn't having children. Because when I had kids, I was completely stressed out. It wasn't like getting out of prison because I felt shame for getting out and it's like, okay, what do I do with my life now as a felon?

It wasn't like even like being a mother and.

I don't feel ashamed for saying that, but, or and, or, or, or but, motherhood has always been something where it felt sacrificial for me. Either I was sacrificing sleep, sacrificing my body, sacrificing my happiness, sacrificing...

money that I wanted to spend elsewhere, but had to go to my children, their livelihood, know? So motherhood has always felt sacrificial. And I was like, I don't want to feel this anymore. I don't want motherhood to feel this way. But I also would love to know, like, what is joy? What does joy feel like? And then I heard and I received you

have to create joy. Joy is a higher frequency that exists beyond love, beyond happiness. And most of the time we as humans can't fully experience joy because our emotional vibration is residing in a state of like survival or

Erica Cordeiro (33:54.878)
even neutrality, I show that I was mostly in a neutral state. I'm not a fucking happy person. When most people meet me, they're like, she's so calm. And yeah, I have to work hard to stay calm. I have to work hard to stay calm. So calm is not my default. Calm is and comes after I meditate and I move my body and I sleep.

Like if those three things do not occur, Erica is not calm for the day. I can assure you of that. But when all of those things happen, then I can calm down.

Erica Cordeiro (34:43.768)
So I was really upset.

at myself during the journey that I couldn't just find joy. I'm like, okay, bring me joy, bring me joy. And so...

When the medicine and my soul told me that I had to generate the joy, I then was like, how do I do that? And then in the middle of that, something I was guided to turn on a meditation for my husband.

he does not meditate. In fact, has expressed profusely that meditation feels like a waste of time. he is like most humans, most humans who don't meditate or who don't know how to meditate or just don't want to meditate or maybe want to meditate, but don't think that they could. It's like, it's a hard thing to do.

because most people think meditation is just shedding off your brain and it really has nothing to do with shedding off your brain. In fact, your brain works even more when you're in meditation. But what does happen is instead of your brain waves going like this, your brain waves kind of go like this, right? Because you are focusing on something, you are coming back into a place of stillness. So it's not shedding off your brain. It's can I redirect my focus? Can I redirect my brain?

Erica Cordeiro (36:21.432)
so that I am not thinking about my to-do list or the kids' sports later on that day or what to cook for dinner. It's really just redirecting your focus. And about...

28 days before my journey with my husband, I stumbled upon Joe Dispenza. Now, I have read his books.

And I've tried to listen to his meditations and I was like, I remember the first time I listened to his meditation, I was like, what in the actual fuck is this? This sounds like a horror movie. This is like really scary because if you've listened to his meditations, he kind of takes on this like tonality of an overlord, like a voice of an overlord. He's like, I'm going to try to do it. OK.

Don't laugh at me. goes, in the very beginning, sit up, eyes closed.

Take a breath.

Erica Cordeiro (37:35.66)
And relax. It's not your typical meditation. It really fucking isn't. Because when I used to listen to guided meditations, I really looked for someone with a soft voice, someone who is like, okay, go ahead and close your eyes. Now take a deep breath and exhale and feel your body relax even more and more.

So that's what I was interested in. And because I experienced that profound of a reaction with his meditation, I was like, and the fact that he has a cult following, I don't see him as a cult leader, but you know, he has a cult following. He has people who have gone to his retreats who says they've healed from cancer. They've...

you know, generated so much abundance in their life, blah, blah. And I was like, all right, I'm interested. And I'm the kind of person who, whenever I'm not interested in something, I actually, or I'm like, ew, yuck. I'm actually gonna do the thing that I'm saying yuck to you because I don't wanna be so judgmental of something that if I don't have direct experience with it.

I hope that makes sense. So I went on this journey of doing Joe Dispense and meditations every fucking day for 28 days. 28 days. I allowed myself to immerse myself in Joe Dispense. I bought these meditations and they're like 20, sometimes 30, sometimes $35 each. And I have a bunch of them. And I was like, I am going to dive in.

and I'm gonna listen to all of this and I'm gonna see what happens and why? I have no idea. I just did it. And in my journey.

Erica Cordeiro (39:42.954)
I decided I am going to turn on a Joe Dispense meditation for my husband.

And I turned one on and this journey or this meditation was called tuning into new potentials. So just in case you're interested in purchasing it. And I remember even like a few days before the journey, I was like, I actually heard like, you're gonna play this during the journey or you should turn this on. And I was like, ugh.

I think you would be so weirded out by it. Like, it's weird. No? Is weird? And I just honored myself and I felt like I was being divinely guided to introduce my husband to Joe Dispenza. Now, here's what happened.

Erica Cordeiro (40:41.568)
My husband had a very different experience with this journey than he's ever had with any other journey. In fact, he was so emotional and I think he tried to not be and I think he tried to generate like fun and he was like, no, I usually have fun. What's happening here? And I think Joe dispenses just.

had a lot to do with it. Maybe the reading that happened before too.

Erica Cordeiro (41:19.854)
I think you guys need to listen to the meditation, but he talks about like changing your energy based on what you want back basically. So it's the law of attraction, it's quantum physics, it's manifestation. It's like you get back what you put out and there after this like, I think it was like 53 minutes, 53 meditation, 53 minute meditation.

He, we both had our eye masks on and he takes his off and he looks at me, he's like, I know everything that I've been doing wrong. He was like, what the fuck was that? What the fuck was that? And I was like, you've just been Joe Dispenza.

Erica Cordeiro (42:18.668)
And he was like, what the fuck? He could not believe the insights, the clarity, the healing that he got from a single fucking meditation. He was like, what happened? He's like, I saw everything. I saw where I was failing you. I saw where I was failing our kids. I saw where I was, you know, where I could be better. I saw that,

Like I have a hard time like keeping my words sometimes and he's like, and I just don't want to live like that anymore. And he's like, and I'm sorry. And of course the tears came and of course in my meditation or in, my journey, I like literally thank Joe Dispenza, but I also thank my guides and my soul.

my higher self leading me to Joe Dispense and meditations because the reason why I was led to them was so that I can show my husband in that one moment. And ever since our journey, we've actually been meditating together. We've missed a few days. I think we've missed like three days, but we've been meditating together and he actually enjoys it now. So,

After the journey, I have tried to listen to Joe Dispenza meditations and I can't, I like can't relate to it anymore. So I know that the only reason why was to introduce it to him and shit like that. When you are an open channel and you allow yourself to be guided without questioning why or what or

how, and you just allow yourself to be and you surrender moment by moment by moment, shit like this will happen to you and you'll start to experience things like this. So Joe Dispenza has been, in the short amount of time that he's been in my life, has been really instrumental. Now, would I say that his meditations are for

Erica Cordeiro (44:47.53)
everyone absolutely fucking not i think you have to do some

some research and maybe buy his course because he does explain why his tone is the way it is, why he says the things that he does and the music is a big part of it. He says some things like, pretend like you're nothing or hold on, there's one thing that he says that makes me laugh. Become aware.

of nothing and it's like what the fuck what do you mean become aware of nothing so they are advanced meditations but for some reason my husband fucking loves them and he's gonna continue to listen to them because silent meditations aren't his jam but he also did say that he tunes him out so i'm wondering what it is

I'm really, everyone responds to meditations differently, but I've also, you know, during that journey in, I was like, okay, Project Joy. How do I find joy? And so I switched up the music. Usually we have solfeggio frequency music playing or like, you know, just really meditative music that isn't

to disruptives, your nervous system, but I put on some like...

Erica Cordeiro (46:23.426)
I put on some juvenile, back that ass up. I put on some Lil' John and the Eastside Boys, and I just danced. I danced. And then there was also a piano in the house, and I started playing the piano, and I am not a piano player. I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing, but for some reason, my husband was like, you know how to play piano? And I was like, no, I'm just fucking intuitively playing. He's like, you know how to play piano.

He's like, that just sounds like music right there. And I was like, okay, cool, cool, bro. But that was fucking hilarious. I did the thing where I realized that joy doesn't look for me like being a child.

it really just looks like being in the present moment and feeling all the things all at once and allowing myself to feel it and just being so happy to be alive, being so happy to realize that I create everything. And one thing I did realize was I manifested this pituitary issue. I wanted so badly.

to find that something was wrong with me and something is coming because I created that in my head. My thought process was, once I find what is wrong with me, then I can heal it. But that's not the way that it works. That's not the way that it works. That's not the way the law of attraction works. I mean, it is the way the law of attraction works, but to my detriment, it works.

Erica Cordeiro (48:17.6)
Moving forward, I actually have an appointment tomorrow. I got called by an endocrinologist today who said to me, hey, we really want to see you for an emergency appointment today. And can you come in tomorrow? And I was like, yep. Did I let that scare me? No.

because I realized I created this. And that's the fucked up part about manifestation. And a lot of the reason why manifestation isn't successful for a lot of people is because they don't realize that every thought feeling emotion that they are feeling thinking and broadcasting will be multiplied and magnetized and come back to you.

And because I was searching for something to be wrong, obviously, return to sender, it's gonna come. Something's gonna be wrong with me. So I am starting to change up my thoughts around that. And I am broadcasting the thoughts of perfect health, perfect hormones.

the weight that I want to be at. Like I literally am now envisioning the way I want to be at, but not necessarily for vanity reasons. I mean, there is a semblance of vanity in there because I truly feel like when we look good, we feel good and vice versa. They feed off of one another, but really it's so that I can feel like I am reverse aging.

Because that's another thing I got in my journey that I Need to reparent myself. I never Knew what joy felt like as a child, you know, and you know that term childlike joy That's what I tried to pull out of all of my memories during my psilocybin journey and I couldn't pull one out I was like, I don't remember Having childlike joy. I don't But I can create it now

Erica Cordeiro (50:38.438)
And the joy that I will feel around being a weight that feels a little bit more manageable to me. And I know some of you guys are like, but you're not even fat, but like, guess what? I can't fit any of my clothes. I want to fit my fucking clothes again. Like all of the clothes that I have in my closet, I cannot fit into. My jeans don't button up. Like my ass is just fucking huge. I already have a big butt to begin with, but like it's just so big right now. And

My whole point is, and what I really, really want to say is that we always are manifesting, whether we like it or not, we are manifesting the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Erica Cordeiro (51:28.864)
and the unconscious and the conscious. But when you really, really become aware and like, and I don't consider myself to be someone new to manifestation, okay? But I still manifested this pituitary issue because I wanted something to be wrong so that I can heal it. Instead of saying to myself, show me what perfect health looks like.

I desire perfect health.

because I thought that I needed an example of what perfect health looked like or what joy looked like in order to generate it, but it's not the case. Really, your desire around the thing that you want is all that you need. If you say, desire to be a fucking millionaire, then the universe is going to deliver that to you. But if you say, I desire to be a millionaire, but I don't know how that's going to look, then you're going to

really magnetize how you want to be a millionaire, but you don't know how that looks. So becoming very, very aware of the frequency that you're broadcasting, the energy that you're putting off, the thoughts that you're thinking, even when you think about the thing that you don't want, you're actually magnetizing the thing that you don't want.

and in my relationship.

Erica Cordeiro (52:58.378)
I actually caught myself just a few weeks before the journey and I said, I am doing nothing but talking about the things that have hurt me, the things that I don't enjoy in a relationship. And I stopped doing that.

And things just magically fucking got better. And it wasn't magic. It was that I stopped focusing on the negative. Now, did I have a lot of positive to focus on? No. But what I did focus on was I want to be happy. I want to feel better. I want to wake up and not feel stress. I want this. I focus on my wants. I focus on my desires. And I didn't focus on

the reality of the situation. And when you really, really focus on your desires versus the reality, reality has no fucking way.

than to change.

Erica Cordeiro (54:12.364)
We really are truly in control of every aspect, every single aspect, even the aspects you do not think you have control over, you do have control over. And that was my whole journey, that you can control and generate everything. So when I'm trying to manifest something, I don't play it fucking safe. I don't anymore.

There is no safety. It's not a matter of like, like for example, I've been doing, you know, people come to me and the number one question is what's my soul's purpose? And lately I've been kind of like, I don't know if people think I'm a bitch when I say this. I'm like, well, what is it you want to do? Cause your soul's purpose, we all have one soul's purpose and that is to be a creator.

We literally came here as a creation. literally, before you came here, you actually created your soul contract. And then you created the fact, or you knew that you were gonna forget everything. And your goal was to go through these life experiences to remember that you are a creator. That's everyone's soul's purpose.

and it looks different for everyone, but the mission is still the same. You can have, be, do whatever you want. If you can think about it in your mind, it can become your reality.

it can become your reality. So I don't know what I'm missing, but I think I'm just gonna edit at that. If you are interested in doing a psilocybin journey, maybe this will be another podcast episode, but I would really, really, try to do it with

Erica Cordeiro (56:22.54)
someone first if you've never done it. Someone who can hold space for you. Someone who can set the space and like, no. And really, absolutely not, no. no, yeah, I'm just getting a download and I'm like, no, I'm not ready. No, I'm not gonna say that, absolutely not. Not yet, no. Two.

I believe that anyone can change. I believe in instant healing. I believe in radical transformation. I don't believe that your past is...

dictates your future in the way that you think it does. I don't believe that people are inherently bad. I believe that forgiveness is possible. And I believe that it all starts with yourself. You must take radical accountability for what you're bringing to the table. And that's the thing that most people don't wanna do right now.

We always want to blame other people. We always want to say, but my childhood, but my husband, but this, but that, but my heart is broken, but I have no this and I grew up in poverty. And it's like, me too.

Me too.

Erica Cordeiro (57:59.84)
Me too. But I fucking promise you, and I assure you that none of those are deterrents to living and having and being the person that you want to be and being fucking abundant and being fucking wealthy. And wealth looks different for everyone. It does. Wealthy to me is wildly different than what wealthy to me look like even a year ago. To me, wealth.

is balanced hormones, a regulated nervous system, kids who aren't holding trauma in their body. I don't even care about, like, I don't, if you see the way I dress sometimes, and then you're like, why is she not carrying a purse? Like, it doesn't make sense. Like, I will dress up, but I won't carry a purse. Like, I don't really carry purses anymore. All I carry is my phone.

with my fucking wallet on it with my ID and two credit cards. That's all I carry. Because I don't fucking care about having a purse that shows my status or my wealth anymore because that's not what wealth means to me anymore. Wealth means having a clear fucking heart, a clear fucking conscience. Wealth to me as being able to look at someone

Disagreeing with what they're doing or how they're living their life, but still having compassion for them and love for them. Wealth is being judgment free of yourself and of others.

Wealth as being able to sleep at night.

Erica Cordeiro (59:46.958)
That's what wealth is to me nowadays. Thank you for listening.