From Dreams to Reality and Regrets to Success - Part 2

In a rambling, humorous podcast-style conversation, the speakers discuss feeling sick, ADHD-driven tangents, and viral laughing videos before returning to a core idea from Dan Mayer: “the way you do one thing, you do all things.” One speaker reflects on recent self-assessment, recognizing a pattern of going through motions “head down,” starting but not finishing, and wanting to stop doing things half-assed despite the emotional toll of helping others in dark places. They acknowledge using work to avoid their own issues and how personal “stuff” shapes perceptions, insecurity, and fear of failure. Referencing Carnegie and Napoleon Hill’s “mastermind” concept, they emphasize surrounding themselves with ethical, service-oriented people with integrity, praising their fathers as examples of honest, caring professionals. They also discuss how nonverbal demeanor can be misread and end by teasing a next episode about leaving a job and what the podcast means.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 0:04

Man.

SPEAKER_00 0:06

I'm super phlegmy right now. This is wild.

SPEAKER_02 0:10

Or as my son Zen would say phlegamy.

SPEAKER_00 0:13

Flegamy.

SPEAKER_02 0:14

Phlegam. You know. So there's a guy. I hope he doesn't care that I mention his name.

SPEAKER_00 0:22

That ginger really helped, by the way.

SPEAKER_02 0:24

Oh, good. If you want to take the whole bottle, go for it. I don't really take it anymore.

SPEAKER_00 0:28

I just wanted it. I just wanted my stomach to settle down.

SPEAKER_02 0:31

Oh, good. Papaya is also good for that, too. Let's not push it with healthy things. Okay. Might push something else.

SPEAKER_00 0:41

Anyway. We might end the podcast real quick.

SPEAKER_02 0:47

Crap. What was I going to do? Oh, um, so Dan, Dan Mayer. Frickin' love the dude. Um, one thing that he said to me the way you do one thing, you do all things. And it really has hit me, you know, it's really what got me started on this. What were you gonna say? Oh, I was yawning. Oh, okay. Oh, it's that boring. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:16

That's just my asshole coming out.

SPEAKER_02 1:20

Could have done without that visual. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_00 1:28

Back to my favorite, my favorite video of all time.

SPEAKER_02 1:35

That was so laughed. He's sitting there laughing as he's doing.

SPEAKER_00 1:40

I can't can't stop. Just I can't stop. And I love it, by the way. It's not me teasing right that that person with with that, but like of like what I love is they can laugh, they can laugh at the fact that yeah, we all acknowledge it's out of control and you can't do it. And that's what I really like seeing is we see more people embracing like the there's no shame to it. Like, this is it is what it is, and yeah, sometimes it's really funny. Like I that one with the gal, the the gal that really loves filming herself in the the cost, cost, cost, cost. Or yeah, or the one we're just gonna go, oh hell no! Like that's what like she was like, Hell no, oh hell no, like those, those ones, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:35

The one um the the lift or the Uber driver.

unknown 2:39

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:40

So she's actually got a documentary that she signed on with. I think it was for Netflix or something.

SPEAKER_00 2:45

Her and the guy she picked up though, yeah, setting off their own. Just like one of my favorite oh they're laughing about it. You too, you two know it.

SPEAKER_02 2:56

There's another one. I'll I'll see if I can find it and I'll show you before we you know after we wrap up. You know, you know, kind of getting back on track.

SPEAKER_00 3:04

Sorry, yeah. No, no, it's not just the life the life of Jeff's ADHD. Hey, hello. I know it's so funny how drawn I am to other people with ADHD. It's you can spend 45 minutes spinning in a circle.

SPEAKER_02 3:23

That reminded me of a joke, but we're gonna go, you know, it anyway. So, you know, uh Dan Mayer, he he said that, and it's I I thought to myself, I've I've had to do a lot of self-assessment over the last we'll say two, three weeks, even more so, especially in the last week. Yeah, you know, what what has the pattern been? Okay, it's going through the motions without really expecting anything at the end. I I I hope that makes sense. It makes sense in my head, you know. I I I guess maybe going blindly without really having the the foresight or insight to to look ahead and actually look up. And I've just I I've I've been doing things with my head down for so long. And and it it wasn't until I would say in the last month really, that this has really hit home. Well say, no, two weeks, the last two weeks. And and I I I don't know if I was driving or what I was doing when I should do a series on going all the way. No, not I, we. You know, and I don't want to do that anymore. I I don't want to do it, you know, as I've heard it, half-assed. You know, the the the passion that we have for what we do, I mean obviously it's there, otherwise we wouldn't keep going day in and day out. You know, especially the the you know getting getting emotionally beat up sometimes. Excuse me.

SPEAKER_00 5:20

Yeah, it's not um we we actively choose to be in dark places. Yeah. With people, holding people though, like trying, trying to shine a light for them, and it makes us face our own darkness. Absolutely it does. And you know, I I think like it's always like my my you know, my joke to make, you know, but like the best part about doing this job is I don't have to think about my own stuff and focus in on other on other people and and helping them, and sometimes it's helpful to me, but like really it's it's avoidant at times, and it's it's like um I think what's really come out with me like in the last couple years is is really recognizing like this is my this is my stuff getting in the way of yeah, you know, what's really happening, you know, like the way I perceive people, like this is my stuff getting in the way of this, feeling the way I feel, you know, like that's my stuff getting in the way of looking at something with a more appropriate perspective because my stuff is deep and my stuff is ugly and my stuff screams loudly. Yeah, and I would say like getting back to our our theme, you know, like that's that's the big thing that that keeps a lot of us from really, you know, like pursuing it. Yeah, you know, like uh the all the all the things in our head that tell us why either we're going to fail or we don't deserve to succeed. And we're facing that all the time, you know, like and it's stronger in some than it is others, and other people work past it, and some people work with it, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:25

Well, and it it's you know, there's another book that I've read. Um actually two, how to win friends and influence people. And there's another book by Napoleon Hill called The Law of Success in the 16 Lessons. Have I finished that? No, I haven't. See, there's an example right there, starting and not finishing. You know, however, the the the first principle, the principle of the master, or the law of the mastermind, he he basically says, imagine you are at the head of a table and there are figures, you know, historical figures or people in our lives that we can relate to with, you know, that they have qualities that we want, and that there's a big boardroom, and we can interview them and say, Well, how did you get these qualities? That also requires us to do the research and reading ourselves, you know, in an actuality so that we can apply those principles, you know, and and I would even take it a step further, being able not just surrounding ourselves mentally with people that are like-minded or that have those qualities that we want, also doing that in real life. That that's where I have a hard time. You know, I don't want to surround myself with people that are not people oriented. If they are people-oriented, a service-oriented, yet they have a strong business sense and a strong moral compass, they're my people. Yeah, you know, and even if they don't have a strong business sense, that's fine. They are ethical, they have strong integrity. I mean, I I'm gonna do a shout-out to my dad, you know, even to this day. They'll say, Oh, are you Kevin Wilkinson's son? Well, yeah, I am. Oh, yeah, your dad, this, this, and this. I mean, he'll tell people, well, that's a bad investment in a home. That's how you know, he'll tell it how it is, when it is, for the protection of the people. Yeah, you know, and and and it's it's that kind of example that that that I I don't know, I that I'm drawn to. That's better. That I that I'm drawn to, you know, and and and there are those that you know it there are some individuals in in life that make the the hair on the back of your neck stand up. It's like, oh no, no, there's something there. And then you know, you get to know them, and then you see it manifest. We see it manifest over time, you know, and it's whatever, but they're gonna do them. You know, I I want to do right by others, my myself and my family. Here I am doing most of the time. That was really awkward. I'm gonna have to edit that piece out.

SPEAKER_00 10:25

I love that now you're hung up on, you know. No, I get I get what like I'm I'm that way too. You know, you look at the people who who were like the examples set in your life, right? Like, yeah, like I I laugh because I feel like that probably of all the things if we're gonna shout out our dads, right? Like, yeah, like I'm uh I'm a lot like my dad, but one thing I always heard about my dad when I talk to my dad's clients is like they always said like like oh your dad is so funny, and like like pee like my dad, you know, I always joke, you know, my dad looks like like my dad's an accountant, but he looks like he does accounting for the mafia. Yeah, like he looks like he also does, you know, some like some fist work on the side, you know. Like my dad's like he's a swimmer, he's thick, like he's built like I am, you know, broad shoulders, and he's got a very stoic demeanor. And um, you know, like all my friends in high school and stuff were like terrified of my dad, except for like my one friend. And that one friend was like my dad loved him because it was like the only friend that talked to my dad. Yeah, and he'd come in, hey Mr. Duncan, how are you doing? My dad, I'm doing good, how you doing? Oh, you know, we're and my dad would make some crack and he would laugh and they'd have these interactions, and he'd be like, and he'd always be telling my friends, Jeff's dad's really nice, you guys. Like, you you you really should talk to his dad. Like his dad's like his dad will drop some great one-liners, you know. And like my dad is funny like that, and he's and he he's got the you know, he's got his own sense of humor, and he's doing those things, but like everyone, all of my dad's clients loved my dad. Yeah, because my dad works hard and he cares about the people he's working for, and like you were saying, he's gonna he's gonna tell you, like, if what you're doing like is gonna get you in trouble. He's he's he's gonna do right by you, he's gonna, you know, he's gonna do everything the way it needs to be done. And I think like in a similar way, like that's that's what I am. Like, like when purple, if someone is just meeting me, they're not really talking to me, they're seeing me going around. Like, like people all like I used to hear from people all the time, like, like, I look like I'm full of myself, I walk around, I have this walk around with this like super cocky attitude, like da da da, all these things, and then I randomly would you know be talking to someone one day and they'd be like, This is not what I imagined you're like, yeah, and I'm like, get to know me. Would you would you think um, you know, what would you think like I, you know, was like just some like you know douchebag demon? Yeah, like and it's like, yeah, dude, you just look like you look like you're waiting for a reason to beat someone's ass. I'm like, oh that's my that's my dad in me. That's just that's just how I look. Like that's I'm quite the opposite, you know. And it's like I like to have a good time. I had to learn how to be more inviting, yeah, you know, over time, because like like truly, like everything I've learned in therapy about non-verbals and things like that, everything that's comfortable to me delivers a message of closed off. And the more I think about that, I'm like, yeah, that that makes sense. Trust people, like my my trauma, my vulnerabilities, like I was, I was covered up. Like that's why like the most comfortable position for me to be in is like my bouncer stance. Like when I've got nowhere else to be, and I don't know, and I don't know what else to do, I literally just cross my arms, straighten up, straighten up, cross my arms, and like sometimes I'm just thinking and processing, and I look like I'm just completely shutting down. Yeah, and I'm actually trying to tune in. That's what's comfortable to me.

SPEAKER_02 14:58

Well, and people are gonna misinterpret that, and they'll they'll misinterpret the little idiosyncrasies that we have, you know, to well, that makes me feel uncomfortable. That makes me feel unsafe. Well, I wasn't thinking that or saying that whatsoever.

SPEAKER_00 15:14

Uh you know, it that's that's your shit.

SPEAKER_02 15:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:17

This is mine, that's yours.

SPEAKER_02 15:21

Let's see what we can do to figure something out and move on.

SPEAKER_00 15:24

Let's get let's get past our own stuff here.

SPEAKER_02 15:27

Well, and and and and that's part of the process too. You know, I I think the I'm gonna self-disclose a little bit. Yeah, it's a therapist coming out at me. You know, something something that you said to me really hit home. You know, nay, if you don't think that your personal stuff doesn't come into this, it does. You know, something along those lines. That stuck with me.

SPEAKER_01 15:54

That's part three of the story of life with Jade.