From Dreams to Reality and Regrets to Success - Part 3

Nate and Jeff discuss the rare challenge of maintaining a strong friendship while working together professionally, including keeping clear boundaries when supervisory responsibilities require accountability. They reflect on their two years working closely, Nate’s recent departure from the organization where Jeff was his boss, and the emotional difficulty of leaving a place and relationships behind, comparing it to the closure of TPC. Nate shares that a past podcast episode revealed how much pain he was in during a previous transition, and they note the risk and value of being raw and honest publicly. They describe the podcast as a fun, cathartic “dream” they want to continue, consider inviting guests, and joke about having several unusable “blockbuster” episodes due to bad audio as they close the series.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

You know, and and it it Jeff, the for me to say that and to have something like that stick with me that that much, you've got my respect, sir.

SPEAKER_00 0:16

I've got him fooled more. Excellent.

SPEAKER_01 0:24

You know, and and and being able to being able to work with somebody side by side, you know, have that friendship and being able to know the cutoff between that professional and that that that's hard to do. It's rare in my opinion. Or it can be hard.

SPEAKER_00 0:43

Yeah. No, it's a hard, it's a hard balance to maintain. Like where that line is. You know, like where does that line need to be like to be effective? Yeah. And for both to exist without interfering in one another.

SPEAKER_01 1:10

Well, and and that and I'll be honest, you know, going off topic again.

SPEAKER_00 1:15

I I feel like we've been off our topic.

SPEAKER_01 1:18

Well, we we can tie this in quite beautifully with a nice bow at the end. Yes, yes. Yeah. Excellent. Excellent. You know, the smithers. Sorry. You know, one of the one of the things that really that I didn't want to do, uh, you know, everyone, just so you're aware, Jeff and I were have worked closely for the last what two years now, just about yeah, just about two years.

SPEAKER_00 1:46

Since January of 24.

SPEAKER_01 1:49

Yeah. Yeah. You know, and I I I recently left the organization that I was working for last week, and Jeff was my boss. And it it was hard. It was hard to leave, you know, for for many reasons. You and Jonah, number one.

SPEAKER_00 2:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:11

You know, and the the people that I worked with, a hundred percent. I I I didn't have any issues with any of them. You know, the kids were wonderful, the staff were wonderful, the the clinicians were great, you know. That that's not anyway. The the the point being is that to to have that friendship develop, you know, when Karen was clinical director, to, you know, to where it is now, and still be able to say, well, Nate, you screwed up. Here's your write-up.

SPEAKER_00 2:48

Yeah, that's just that it's nothing.

SPEAKER_01 2:51

That's just the business. Yeah. That's there's nothing personal there.

SPEAKER_00 2:56

I mean, well, I mean, I'll just go back to the conversations we had leading up to you leaving, right? Like, you and I have a lot of conversations where we talk about what hat is on at any given time, right? Depending on the environment, things like that, right? But it was like, you know, it's just in the end, like I remember you first told me, and you told me like here at home that you were thinking about it, yeah, and that you were going, and it was like you came to me as as your friend, as your brother, and said, I think this is what's going on, you know, and I think this is what I need to do. Said, yeah. And then we had that conversation at work, yeah. And it was like, yeah, sucks for me, right? Like, sucks for me, the professional, sucks for professional Jeff. Personal Jeff? I'm I haven't lost anything.

SPEAKER_01 4:03

Well, see, I I would even challenge that though. You know, there there's definitely the hardest part of last Friday for me, or a week ago Friday, was turning in my keys and driving off. You know, the the last time that I would be on camp or at work with with you and and with others, and and and to see the reaction it hit pretty hard.

SPEAKER_00 4:41

You know, it was you know, it was it's the same way I felt like when I mean I'll say it was it was a very similar feeling to sitting there when TPC is closing its doors, and we're just out having a bonfire, you know, and I didn't want to leave.

SPEAKER_01 5:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:11

Because as soon as I drove off that campus, that part of my life was over. And the people, the people I worked so hard to build relationships with, the people that I was at odds with when I first arrived at TPC, that were now the people that I was sitting there at the end holding them and saying, like, I am gonna miss the crap out of you. Yeah. Um and it and to be honest, it's like those are really hard. I think the last two years, like losing TPC was one of the hardest things I've been through, even though I bounced back and jumped into new a new thing of me. I literally had someone come to me and that said, I was telling you, like a student, I ran it, I ran across your Here's a Nates podcast. And I did not realize how bad you were hurting when you got here. That's what a student said. I did not realize how much pain you were in when you left that uh that other job, like, but that podcast, like like nobody knew, nobody realized you were in that much pain. Like, because that's that's not for that's not for them to know. That's not for everybody, no, like the pain that I was going through and and learn and being received and accepted and and all those things, like that's that's behind the scenes. That is the danger of this podcast, right? Is that I was open and free-flowing. Yeah. And you know, like I was speaking very directly to how I was feeling in those moments, and I was doing my best to, you know, like not, I wasn't trying to attack anyone, but well, I was probably trying to attack one person at least, but um, in the end, you know, it's this is what this has been for me. Like this is this has allowed me to a bit of an emotional journey. Um, it's been an alternative opportunity, and again, this is this is what I've always wanted it to be. This is fun, yeah. Like, I you know, so it's like that's why like I you know, in in the end, like I want to do this because it's fun, I want to do this because we have great conversations, and I want to do this because like I really thought initially when we first talk when you first told me you did this and invited me to come on. I just thought like I feel like so many people miss out on the two of us rambling off about things, and amongst the jokes and amongst the the immaturity and and all the things, right? Like, I always feel like there I'm always learning things, I'm always gaining things in that. I don't know if you and I, I I don't know if you and I like because we're both kind of emotion avoiders, yeah, and super emotional at the same time. Oh, yeah, that we we bring that in, and it's like for me, I was thinking that's gonna be cathartic. That's my outlook on it was cathartic, like knowing like the like oh people aren't gonna dig this. But I but I think like you came in and you're like, no, because people people like stories, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:25

Oh, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 9:26

And and I and and so it's like, but again, like that's my stuff entering the picture. My my feeling on it is is people aren't gonna be interested in in my piece of this puzzle because that's my stuff, but the reality is is like it's very raw for me. So I think when that comes across, I think it's helpful for people, and I think like you know, I think it'll be interesting the first time I actually joined with somebody else, you know, like we always talk about like bringing in a third a third person, but really like you and I just like doing this, the two of us. Like I always loved this opportunity. Um and then it's it's really cool to think about bringing other other people into it, and again, like having an opportunity to like deflect away from my own stuff a little bit and let someone else talk, but to still have because this is fun to me. I like having fun with other people, so I want to bring in other people that I think like oh, we can have really fun conversations with.

SPEAKER_01 10:50

You know, the that video that I was showing you, the bass guitarist, I think he'd be a real fun one to to do remotely with the two of us here and record it.

SPEAKER_00 11:02

Oh, yeah, he seems cool.

SPEAKER_01 11:04

Oh, he's amazing, he's phenomenal, you know, and and even even with Rod, I I think Rod would be fun, or that Dan Mayer, he would be. I mean I can't remember his name. Um remember the guy that sang uh the cart the very beginning song and then played the rooster in Robin Hood, the cartoon?

unknown 11:31

Love that guy.

SPEAKER_01 11:31

Yeah, he sounds just like him. Like when he talks. And he you know, and you know, to to kind of to kind of wrap wrap things into, you know, the the topic and come full circle, you know, part of part of this process of doing the podcast is following through on the dream.

SPEAKER_00 11:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:59

You know, because when was the last time that we we'd done this? It's been a long time. Let me rephrase that. When was the last time that we did this and one was uploaded? It's been a long time.

SPEAKER_00 12:14

Yeah. You know, this one think of I the story of this podcast, in my mind, it like no matter how long we do this, no matter how more efficient with getting the episodes up and whatnot, like my favorite part about our history of doing this together is that we we did like we have at least six blockbuster shows that we can't ever use because the sound was out.

SPEAKER_01 12:47

And that's part four, the final chapter of the story of life with Jade. Thanks so much for hanging out with us through this whole series.