WEBVTT 00:00:01.199 --> 00:00:02.879 Well, welcome again. 00:00:03.120 --> 00:00:08.240 Some new faces this morning, so I'm happy to see you and so glad you could all join us. 00:00:08.400 --> 00:00:11.759 Thank you again for giving up your Saturday to come. 00:00:12.240 --> 00:00:14.080 Um Delicious. 00:00:14.240 --> 00:00:15.039 Can I just ask? 00:00:15.199 --> 00:00:18.719 And you know, this has nothing to do with spiritual things. 00:00:18.960 --> 00:00:22.399 What flavor of bagel was the pink red one? 00:00:22.559 --> 00:00:23.600 Who who did that? 00:00:23.920 --> 00:00:24.800 Does anybody know? 00:00:26.399 --> 00:00:26.640 Huh? 00:00:27.039 --> 00:00:29.120 I think it's red velvet, red mel bagel. 00:00:29.359 --> 00:00:30.320 With the nuts in it? 00:00:31.440 --> 00:00:31.839 All right. 00:00:31.920 --> 00:00:34.479 Well, it was good, whatever it was, red velvet. 00:00:35.280 --> 00:00:36.000 I love it. 00:00:36.159 --> 00:00:41.439 Uh don't even get me started as a southerner on red velvet craze because it all started down south. 00:00:41.759 --> 00:00:46.640 When I moved here 33 years ago, you didn't even know what a red velvet cake was. 00:00:46.799 --> 00:00:48.000 I promise you. 00:00:48.719 --> 00:00:53.200 My cousin had to mail me uh the cake mix when it came out from the south. 00:00:53.280 --> 00:00:55.600 She would mail me a red velvet box of cake mix. 00:00:55.679 --> 00:00:58.960 And now you say, I thought it had always been around, but it hasn't, see? 00:00:59.039 --> 00:00:59.600 Yeah, yeah. 00:00:59.759 --> 00:01:00.159 All right. 00:01:00.240 --> 00:01:01.039 It was delicious. 00:01:01.200 --> 00:01:01.840 Thank you. 00:01:02.000 --> 00:01:10.719 Um, last night we laid the foundation or the groundwork as we looked at what God says in his word about our hearts, the difference in the heart of stone and the heart of flesh. 00:01:10.799 --> 00:01:19.040 And Royal did a great job of summarizing that lesson for those who weren't here, and hopefully you can uh listen to that or catch up on that at some point. 00:01:19.200 --> 00:01:32.400 But today, our two lessons are more practical in nature, and we're gonna focus on two areas of our lives that will look different when God grants us a new heart through Jesus Christ his Son. 00:01:32.640 --> 00:01:36.079 It's our tongues and our hospitality. 00:01:36.239 --> 00:01:39.120 So those two areas we're gonna concentrate on today. 00:01:39.280 --> 00:01:41.359 And let me pray for us one more time. 00:01:41.599 --> 00:01:45.120 Father, thank you for these dear ladies, for this wonderful church. 00:01:45.280 --> 00:01:48.719 Thank you for this just beautiful, warm place to meet. 00:01:48.799 --> 00:01:50.799 Uh, we have so much to be grateful for. 00:01:51.040 --> 00:01:53.280 Lord, help us never to take that for granted. 00:01:53.439 --> 00:01:57.200 Thank you for the abundant uh breakfast we enjoyed. 00:01:57.359 --> 00:02:04.719 And now, as we partake in the food of your word, may Lord you bless us and teach us and change us. 00:02:04.879 --> 00:02:06.480 In Jesus' name, amen. 00:02:06.799 --> 00:02:12.639 So follow along on that wonderful, those handouts, that beautiful booklet, if that's helpful to you. 00:02:12.879 --> 00:02:17.439 And Roman numeral one on that handout, why the tongue? 00:02:17.759 --> 00:02:20.719 Why in the world a session on the tongue? 00:02:21.199 --> 00:02:25.199 Why throw this in when the conference is about our hearts, right? 00:02:25.599 --> 00:02:32.800 Well, if you ask that, then you just answered your own question because the tongue is all about the heart. 00:02:33.120 --> 00:02:34.479 So let's dig in. 00:02:34.639 --> 00:02:35.520 Letter A. 00:02:35.840 --> 00:02:39.680 If you control the tongue, you control your body. 00:02:40.000 --> 00:02:43.280 Control the tongue, control the body. 00:02:44.400 --> 00:02:47.840 James 3, 2 says, For we all stumble in many ways. 00:02:48.000 --> 00:02:56.560 If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man able also to bridle his whole body. 00:02:57.039 --> 00:02:59.199 That's how important the tongue is. 00:02:59.360 --> 00:03:03.439 If you can control your tongue, you control your whole body and you are perfect. 00:03:03.599 --> 00:03:10.240 But we all know that that is not fully happening this side of heaven, but that's how important the tongue is. 00:03:10.719 --> 00:03:23.039 And in case you're still not convinced that we need to be talking about the tongue in a conference that's entitled The Extreme Heart Makeover, not the extreme tongue makeover, although that would be a good one. 00:03:23.919 --> 00:03:28.400 Just look at the first phrase in the title of today's lesson. 00:03:29.199 --> 00:03:32.319 Out of the abundance of the heart. 00:03:32.560 --> 00:03:37.280 Letter B, the tongue is clearly a matter of the heart. 00:03:38.719 --> 00:03:47.360 Out of the abundance of the heart, that comes from Matthew 12, 34, where Jesus is telling the Pharisees that a tree is known by its fruit. 00:03:47.439 --> 00:03:53.199 And he says, You brood of vipers, how can you speak good things when you're evil? 00:03:53.439 --> 00:03:57.520 For out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. 00:03:57.759 --> 00:04:00.719 So the tongue is clearly a matter of the heart. 00:04:01.039 --> 00:04:03.360 You see, the problem is the root. 00:04:03.599 --> 00:04:11.280 In the springtime, you're going to have those dandelions and the other weeds that come up in your garden or in your yard. 00:04:11.520 --> 00:04:17.360 And you know that unless you get them down deep at the root, they're going to keep coming back. 00:04:18.240 --> 00:04:26.560 The tongue reflects what is in your heart, just like those roots, those weeds reflect what is at their root. 00:04:27.439 --> 00:04:33.120 Have you ever said or heard someone say, Oh, I didn't mean it. 00:04:33.360 --> 00:04:34.480 My kids would do this. 00:04:34.639 --> 00:04:35.439 I've done it. 00:04:35.600 --> 00:04:36.560 I didn't mean that. 00:04:36.720 --> 00:04:37.920 I really didn't mean that. 00:04:38.079 --> 00:04:41.439 You would say something cutting or demeaning. 00:04:41.600 --> 00:04:42.639 I didn't mean that. 00:04:43.600 --> 00:04:47.279 Well, according to Jesus, what you said is what you meant. 00:04:47.519 --> 00:05:01.040 And I want to show us a little hope this works and I don't get water all over your lovely church here, but so just watch. 00:05:01.439 --> 00:05:02.160 I hope you can see. 00:05:02.240 --> 00:05:03.839 I couldn't get it any higher. 00:05:06.079 --> 00:05:08.879 So here we go. 00:05:10.000 --> 00:05:14.800 Remember, out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. 00:05:15.040 --> 00:05:21.279 Whatever is inside you, inside your body, inside your heart, is going to come out. 00:05:27.360 --> 00:05:33.120 It's not chocolate milk, it's not lemonade, it's not iced coffee, I wish it was. 00:05:33.759 --> 00:05:34.720 But it's not. 00:05:35.040 --> 00:05:36.000 It's water. 00:05:36.160 --> 00:05:40.480 And water was in this, water's in that, and water is spilling out into this. 00:05:41.519 --> 00:05:50.480 Picture your heart, picture your tongue as your mouth is overflowing with whatever is in your heart. 00:05:52.079 --> 00:05:54.800 What's underneath or inside is going to come out. 00:05:55.040 --> 00:05:58.160 Now, this illustration, that illustration's great. 00:05:58.240 --> 00:06:03.439 This next thing I'm going to say breaks down because nobody wears dresses or slips anymore. 00:06:03.600 --> 00:06:16.399 However, do you remember the day when you would see a lady and or you yourself have had a dress on and you've had a slip on and just it constantly is coming out, or your, you know, the static electricity is keeping it up and your slip is showing? 00:06:17.680 --> 00:06:20.319 Some of the younger people are like, I don't even know what a slip is. 00:06:20.399 --> 00:06:21.600 But I, yeah. 00:06:24.399 --> 00:06:31.360 But I think it's a it is a good illustration because what you would say to that lady is, excuse me, ma'am, your slip is showing. 00:06:31.439 --> 00:06:36.959 You know, to go up and whisper to her, your slip's showing, and she would tug it down and fix her dress. 00:06:37.360 --> 00:06:39.680 Ladies, that's how it is with our tongues. 00:06:39.920 --> 00:06:44.319 We could say to each other, excuse me, ma'am, but your heart is showing. 00:06:45.519 --> 00:06:48.800 Now, I'm not saying that all bad is coming out. 00:06:48.959 --> 00:06:55.279 What I am saying, more importantly, what Jesus is saying is whatever is in there is coming out. 00:06:55.439 --> 00:06:59.040 Out of the abundance of your heart, your mouth is speaking. 00:06:59.279 --> 00:07:07.120 So that can be a good thing if there are peaceful, helpful, loving, encouraging words coming out of our mouths. 00:07:07.360 --> 00:07:13.519 On the other hand, it can be very embarrassing, like that slip that is showing under our hymn line. 00:07:13.759 --> 00:07:19.199 And just as we talked about last night, our hearts are so deceived and so wicked and depraved. 00:07:19.360 --> 00:07:23.199 No one is good, no one is righteous, no one understands, no one seeks after God. 00:07:24.240 --> 00:07:28.639 And after those verses in Romans 3 comes this next set. 00:07:28.800 --> 00:07:45.759 After we see that, Romans 3, 13 and 14, after we've read about no one is good, no one is righteous, no one understands, their throat is an open grave, they use their tongues to deceive, the venom of asps is under their lips, their mouth is full of curses and bitterness. 00:07:46.000 --> 00:07:52.399 Of all the ways we vent our inner wickedness, the tongue receives priority attention. 00:07:52.480 --> 00:07:53.360 Isn't that interesting? 00:07:53.519 --> 00:08:01.600 After those verses 10 through 12, no one's good, no one's righteous, no one seeks after God, and then immediately goes into our tongues. 00:08:02.639 --> 00:08:04.000 So what do we do about this? 00:08:04.160 --> 00:08:05.600 Well, we could stop talking. 00:08:05.759 --> 00:08:08.399 That would solve part of the problem. 00:08:08.639 --> 00:08:13.839 Probably one of my favorite or at least most convicting verses is Proverbs 17, 28. 00:08:14.000 --> 00:08:17.920 Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise. 00:08:18.319 --> 00:08:21.759 When he closes his lips, he's deemed intelligent. 00:08:22.000 --> 00:08:24.800 But he's he proves himself a fool when he opens his mouth. 00:08:24.879 --> 00:08:32.399 But if he could just keep his mouth closed, if we, she could just keep her mouth closed, she wouldn't prove herself to be such a fool. 00:08:33.039 --> 00:08:34.799 But we can't keep quiet forever. 00:08:34.879 --> 00:08:38.960 And after all, this is not the real problem. 00:08:39.440 --> 00:08:40.080 This is. 00:08:40.240 --> 00:08:44.799 So even if you cut this off and you stop talking, you've still got the root problem. 00:08:45.039 --> 00:08:47.360 So that's what we're addressing today. 00:08:48.480 --> 00:08:50.720 We have to deal with it at the root. 00:08:50.960 --> 00:09:00.399 A new heart, a changed heart, is not only what we need for doing good and kind things, it is what we need for saying good and kind things as well. 00:09:00.799 --> 00:09:04.080 Roman numeral two, our speech is related to our hearts. 00:09:04.320 --> 00:09:08.960 So I want us to see, we're gonna try to dig a little bit deep here. 00:09:09.360 --> 00:09:13.039 We won't cover everything, way too much that we could cover. 00:09:13.120 --> 00:09:18.159 We're just gonna take some specific areas of how our speech is related to our hearts. 00:09:18.399 --> 00:09:22.639 These are some specific sinful speech patterns that we're going to address. 00:09:24.240 --> 00:09:31.120 Letter A, an ungrateful and an unbelieving heart leads to what type of speech pattern? 00:09:31.360 --> 00:09:33.679 Grumbling and complaining. 00:09:34.240 --> 00:09:41.679 If we are not thankful people, if we are constantly ungrateful and we do not believe God, we will grumble and complain. 00:09:41.919 --> 00:09:50.080 The classic example of murmuring and complaining in the Old Testament is the Israelites in the wilderness being led by Moses to the promised land. 00:09:50.399 --> 00:09:52.960 They complained about everything. 00:09:54.960 --> 00:09:57.840 Numbers 14, 2, and 3. 00:09:58.159 --> 00:09:59.519 Do we have that, Matthias? 00:09:59.600 --> 00:10:00.080 I can't remember. 00:10:00.240 --> 00:10:00.399 No. 00:10:00.480 --> 00:10:03.279 Okay, so that's a long passage, and I did want you to turn to that. 00:10:03.440 --> 00:10:07.200 Can you open your Bibles and turn to Numbers 14, please? 00:10:07.360 --> 00:10:10.000 I want you to see this with your own eyes. 00:10:12.799 --> 00:10:18.639 Numbers 14, we'll read verses 2 and 3, and then we'll jump down to verses 27 through 29. 00:10:18.799 --> 00:10:20.320 Remember what we're talking about. 00:10:20.399 --> 00:10:27.440 We're talking about having an ungrateful or an unbelieving heart, leading us to murmuring and complaining. 00:10:28.639 --> 00:10:31.279 Numbers 14, 2 and 3, 27 through 29. 00:10:31.440 --> 00:10:34.720 And all the people of Israel grumbled against Moses and Aaron. 00:10:34.960 --> 00:10:40.960 The whole congregation said to them, Would that we had died in the land of Egypt, or that we would have died in this wilderness? 00:10:41.200 --> 00:10:44.559 Why is the Lord bringing us into this land to fall by the sword? 00:10:44.799 --> 00:10:47.200 Our wives and our little ones will become a prey. 00:10:47.440 --> 00:10:50.559 Would it not have been be better for us to go back to Egypt? 00:10:50.879 --> 00:10:52.000 Down to verse 27. 00:10:52.240 --> 00:10:54.879 How long shall this wicked congregation grumble against me? 00:10:55.039 --> 00:10:58.879 God says, I've heard the grumblings of the people of Israel, which they grumble against me. 00:10:59.200 --> 00:11:04.480 Say to them, as I live, declares the Lord, what you have said in my hearing I will do to you. 00:11:04.720 --> 00:11:13.200 Your dead body shall fall in this wilderness, and of all your number listed in the census, from twenty years old and upward, who have grumbled against me. 00:11:14.240 --> 00:11:17.840 God says, Enough, you ungrateful people. 00:11:18.320 --> 00:11:19.279 That's it. 00:11:19.600 --> 00:11:23.840 I deliver you from slavery in Egypt, I bring you through the Red Sea. 00:11:24.000 --> 00:11:27.279 You have seen my mighty hand in all of this. 00:11:28.960 --> 00:11:30.159 And you do this. 00:11:30.399 --> 00:11:33.679 You're not trusting me, you're not finding contentment in me. 00:11:33.919 --> 00:11:39.120 The psalmist speaks about the children of Israel in Psalm 106, 24 through 26. 00:11:40.159 --> 00:11:44.159 Then they despised the pleasant land, having no faith in his promise. 00:11:44.399 --> 00:11:48.240 They murmured in their tents and did not obey the voice of the Lord. 00:11:48.399 --> 00:11:53.120 Therefore he raised his hand and swore to them that he would make them fall in the wilderness. 00:11:53.360 --> 00:11:56.639 I want you to look at that again, leave that up there if you don't mind. 00:11:56.879 --> 00:11:58.720 They did not believe in his word. 00:12:00.320 --> 00:12:03.600 They did not believe him, an unbelieving heart did not believe him. 00:12:03.919 --> 00:12:08.960 Then they complained, then they did not obey, and then he punished them. 00:12:11.360 --> 00:12:16.960 And it's so easy to say, wow, those ungrateful children of Israel. 00:12:17.120 --> 00:12:21.519 If I had had all of that happen to me, I would have been thankful. 00:12:21.679 --> 00:12:26.960 Even when I was hungry in the wilderness, he provided manna and he gave us water from the rock. 00:12:27.120 --> 00:12:28.320 I would have never complained. 00:12:28.480 --> 00:12:32.879 Yes, you would, and so would I, because we do it all the time. 00:12:33.279 --> 00:12:51.360 The kind, gracious, merciful hand of God, constantly bestowing on us good, even when we're going through hard times and bad circumstances, remembering what he has brought us out of, our sin, an eternity in hell, and we don't believe him. 00:12:51.679 --> 00:12:56.240 His promises have proven true always and will always prove true. 00:12:56.399 --> 00:13:01.360 His faithfulness has been with us always and will always be. 00:13:01.600 --> 00:13:04.799 Yet we still grumble and complain. 00:13:05.759 --> 00:13:09.440 And you say, Well, I'm not really grumbling and complaining against God. 00:13:09.600 --> 00:13:13.120 I mean, they were obviously grumbling and complaining against God. 00:13:13.360 --> 00:13:18.720 I just, I'm just upset when the traffic stops me and I can't get home to my family in time to cook dinner. 00:13:18.879 --> 00:13:19.440 That's all. 00:13:19.600 --> 00:13:25.360 I just, you know, I got a little bit irritated because it rained out our family picnic for the graduation party. 00:13:25.519 --> 00:13:30.639 It's, I'm not, you know, what you're saying is in your heart, ladies. 00:13:30.960 --> 00:13:32.480 God, you don't know what's best. 00:13:32.720 --> 00:13:34.240 I am upset about this. 00:13:34.480 --> 00:13:35.360 I am angry. 00:13:35.519 --> 00:13:39.120 I am unbelieving, that I don't trust you, that you know what's best. 00:13:40.080 --> 00:13:45.840 And from the little to the big, we then begin to complain and murmur. 00:13:46.159 --> 00:13:49.919 But instead, ladies, we must heed the commands of Scripture. 00:13:50.080 --> 00:13:53.759 Philippians 2.14, do all things without complaining. 00:13:54.000 --> 00:13:55.840 And we must develop a heart of gratitude. 00:13:55.919 --> 00:13:59.600 Ephesians 5.20, giving thanks always for all things. 00:13:59.759 --> 00:14:03.840 1 Thessalonians 5.18, in everything give thanks. 00:14:04.159 --> 00:14:06.960 All, always, all things, everything. 00:14:07.200 --> 00:14:14.080 Pretty much, I do not see a time that complaining and not being content and failing to be thankful is acceptable. 00:14:14.639 --> 00:14:18.159 It's kind of one of those things where you just can't squeeze that in, like the Romans 10 passage. 00:14:18.240 --> 00:14:23.200 I don't see any any wiggle room for us being good people at all in the no not one one. 00:14:23.440 --> 00:14:37.759 I don't see any room right here, any wiggle room where you can say, Yeah, but in this situation, no, in all things, always, everything, have a heart of gratitude. 00:14:39.039 --> 00:14:39.919 But why? 00:14:40.159 --> 00:14:44.240 Why should we not complain or grumble when things aren't going quite our way? 00:14:44.639 --> 00:14:46.000 But instead we should give thanks. 00:14:46.159 --> 00:14:49.120 Well, first and foremost, because of the gospel, I've already mentioned this. 00:14:49.279 --> 00:14:59.039 If you ever saw yourselves for who you really are, remember last night, the hard heart of stone, and what we really deserve, then we would stop grumbling and complaining. 00:14:59.200 --> 00:15:11.279 And second, whether our picnic got rained out or we have a flat tower or we have bigger problems like serious financial woes or cancer diagnosis, we must remember and rest in the sovereignty of God. 00:15:11.679 --> 00:15:14.159 These things are not out of God's control. 00:15:14.480 --> 00:15:23.360 They are allowed in our lives by a loving, wise, sovereign God who is working all things for his glory and our good, Romans 8.28. 00:15:23.840 --> 00:15:30.240 And we know that for those who love God, all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. 00:15:30.480 --> 00:15:42.159 I love that my husband uses the phrase, if we could get into, if you would get into your Romans 8.28 helicopter, and you would just get above that, and you would look down, you would see. 00:15:43.279 --> 00:15:53.440 I was flying uh in the other day from Atlanta to LaGuardia, and it was, you know, just uh, you know, you're just I'm I'm a little nervous flyer, but I do okay. 00:15:53.600 --> 00:15:57.120 But we're making this complete circle, and I'm like, where is he taking us? 00:15:57.279 --> 00:15:59.600 I know we're passing the Statue of Liberty. 00:15:59.759 --> 00:16:05.279 I know that we're going up Manhattan, I see Central Park, and you're supposed to just go and down at LaGuardia. 00:16:05.360 --> 00:16:07.919 But instead, he takes this very long circuitous route. 00:16:08.159 --> 00:16:09.519 I'm like, where are we going? 00:16:09.679 --> 00:16:15.360 And I see an airport out the left to the left of me, out the window, and I'm like, where's that's LaGuardia? 00:16:15.519 --> 00:16:16.000 Where did he go? 00:16:16.639 --> 00:16:17.440 And it hit me. 00:16:17.600 --> 00:16:27.120 I was looking at JFK, but it was like I could have thrown a stone, thrown, thrown a stone at it, not realizing when I was up in the air like that. 00:16:27.360 --> 00:16:30.240 Wow, Anna, now you got the whole picture. 00:16:30.480 --> 00:16:33.200 LaGuardia and JFK aren't that far apart. 00:16:33.440 --> 00:16:37.200 It seems like it when you're driving like little ants and the traffic is bad, right? 00:16:38.000 --> 00:16:39.840 But it's not that far apart. 00:16:40.000 --> 00:16:44.320 I could have reached down and just touched LaGuardia and touched JFK. 00:16:45.279 --> 00:16:46.960 I want you to do that with your lives. 00:16:47.039 --> 00:16:58.159 I want you to get up in that Romans 8.28 helicopter so you can see how all the pieces fit and see where it's really laid out and see a little bit of the picture of what God is doing. 00:16:58.320 --> 00:17:03.840 Because when we get the blinders on and we sit just stuck in our circumstances, yeah, it looks bad. 00:17:05.039 --> 00:17:07.039 But ladies, God is sovereign. 00:17:07.680 --> 00:17:15.759 He's got it all in control, he's got the big picture, and he's completed the puzzle, and you don't need to worry, and you don't need to complain. 00:17:16.000 --> 00:17:20.319 You need to have a heart that is grateful, that trusts your sovereign loving God. 00:17:26.640 --> 00:17:33.680 Another way that our speech is related to our hearts, a proud heart leads to boasting and selfish speech. 00:17:33.920 --> 00:17:37.839 A proud heart leads to boasting and selfish speech. 00:17:38.079 --> 00:17:40.240 Pride in our hearts can come in many forms. 00:17:40.319 --> 00:17:41.839 One of them is definitely our speech. 00:17:42.000 --> 00:17:47.759 We can brag on ourselves, we our kids, our abilities or their abilities and their talents and accomplishments. 00:17:48.000 --> 00:17:52.559 Maybe, maybe you even boast sometimes about your walk with the Lord. 00:17:52.720 --> 00:17:55.759 But listen to what Proverbs 27, 1 and 2 says. 00:17:56.000 --> 00:17:59.119 Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring. 00:17:59.279 --> 00:18:04.079 Let another praise you and not your own mouth, a stranger and not your own lips. 00:18:04.880 --> 00:18:06.799 Now, please don't misunderstand me. 00:18:06.880 --> 00:18:10.000 It is not wrong to share something if it is bringing glory to God. 00:18:10.240 --> 00:18:13.519 We should encourage people and say, Great job. 00:18:13.680 --> 00:18:17.039 I heard you got a new, you know, a promotion, or I heard you pass that test. 00:18:17.279 --> 00:18:29.920 You should go in, you know, to your small group or your Bible study or your prayer group, and you should be the first one to say, praise God, you know, I uh God healed me or I got this job or whatever. 00:18:30.480 --> 00:18:31.599 That's okay. 00:18:31.839 --> 00:18:33.359 That's not being proud. 00:18:33.519 --> 00:18:37.039 It's acknowledging where those gifts came from, which is from God. 00:18:37.519 --> 00:18:40.640 Every good and perfect gift comes from Him. 00:18:41.759 --> 00:18:45.839 Don't ever do it to build yourself up or to give yourself a pat on the back. 00:18:46.000 --> 00:18:48.880 Let another praise you and not yourself. 00:18:49.119 --> 00:18:50.400 And you know what's interesting? 00:18:50.559 --> 00:18:52.559 Pride doesn't always come out as boasting. 00:18:52.720 --> 00:18:58.640 It can can take another form of very selfish speech and show the true nature of your heart. 00:18:58.880 --> 00:19:03.440 Your proud heart can disguise itself in self-deprecating speech. 00:19:03.680 --> 00:19:04.799 Oh, woe is me. 00:19:04.960 --> 00:19:06.240 I'm so bad at that. 00:19:06.400 --> 00:19:08.480 And you say, Well, I'm not building myself up. 00:19:08.640 --> 00:19:12.079 No, you're always feeling sorry for yourself and you're letting it be known. 00:19:12.319 --> 00:19:15.039 Or you're pointing out how bad you are at something. 00:19:15.200 --> 00:19:18.799 And that is very selfish speech, and it comes from a heart of pride as well. 00:19:18.960 --> 00:19:25.519 It's saying, even though things are not going my way, I'm still going to draw attention to myself because it's all about me. 00:19:25.680 --> 00:19:26.880 It's all about me. 00:19:27.039 --> 00:19:29.359 That's coming from a proud heart. 00:19:30.160 --> 00:19:33.440 Letter C a wicked heart leads to gossip and slander. 00:19:33.680 --> 00:19:35.119 Now let's define our terms. 00:19:35.279 --> 00:19:42.640 Gossip is idle talk or chatter, going about from one to another, tailbearing, whispering, often done in private, behind one's back, in secret. 00:19:42.799 --> 00:19:44.640 The very word, you know, the gossip. 00:19:46.079 --> 00:19:48.480 You can just hear the whisper, the gossip, sip. 00:19:48.640 --> 00:19:50.559 You can hear the whispering going on. 00:19:51.759 --> 00:19:56.640 Slander, on the other hand, is open, intentional sharing of damaging information. 00:19:57.279 --> 00:20:04.480 Proverbs 11 9 says, with his mouth the godless man would destroy his neighbor, but by knowledge the righteous are delivered up. 00:20:04.720 --> 00:20:07.279 Proverbs 16, 27 and 28. 00:20:07.519 --> 00:20:12.400 A worthless man plots evil, and his speech is like a scorching fire. 00:20:12.640 --> 00:20:18.640 A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends. 00:20:19.279 --> 00:20:27.519 There's so many more verses from Proverbs and beyond that point out the fact that, you know, gossip comes between friends, and it's just not worth it, ladies. 00:20:27.759 --> 00:20:33.759 Your friendships are going to be harmed whether you are the one gossiped about or you're the one doing the gossiping. 00:20:34.480 --> 00:20:49.279 Aren't you just a little bit suspicious when you leave the room or you're not present at a gathering where a certain person may be who is just as apt to gossip about you because you've been a party to them gossiping about others? 00:20:49.519 --> 00:21:03.680 And you think, hmm, I do this sometimes if I've heard somebody gossiping about others and I do not attend something, and I'm just like, hmm, you know, you gotta wonder sometime, wonder what they're saying about me, because I've heard them say stuff about other people. 00:21:04.240 --> 00:21:09.039 Gossip damages friendships, no matter what end you are on. 00:21:10.079 --> 00:21:14.160 Proverbs 26, 20 through 21. 00:21:14.799 --> 00:21:17.839 For lack of wood, the fire goes out. 00:21:18.000 --> 00:21:21.519 And where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases. 00:21:21.759 --> 00:21:27.680 As charcoal to hot embers and wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife. 00:21:28.640 --> 00:21:33.680 Did anybody up here ever watch the Andy Griffith show or you watch reruns of the Andy Griffith show? 00:21:33.759 --> 00:21:35.039 Do you know what I'm even talking about? 00:21:35.200 --> 00:21:36.160 Andy Griffith? 00:21:36.640 --> 00:21:38.079 And who was his deputy? 00:21:38.799 --> 00:21:39.759 Barney Fife. 00:21:39.839 --> 00:21:40.480 Yeah, the best. 00:21:40.559 --> 00:21:42.559 Yeah, you just gotta love Barney. 00:21:43.279 --> 00:21:45.359 And you know what Barney would say? 00:21:45.519 --> 00:21:49.920 He'd say a lot of funny things, but he would say, just nip it in the bud, Ange. 00:21:50.160 --> 00:21:51.119 Nip it in the bud. 00:21:51.519 --> 00:21:53.200 Do it, gotta do a little bud nipping. 00:21:53.279 --> 00:21:54.160 That's what he would talk about. 00:21:54.319 --> 00:21:55.279 You remember that? 00:21:57.359 --> 00:21:58.799 What is bud nipping? 00:21:58.880 --> 00:22:05.200 When you're when you're trimming your flowers and you get the bud before the flower blooms, that's to nip something in the bud. 00:22:05.519 --> 00:22:09.519 You're stopping the thing before it even starts. 00:22:09.759 --> 00:22:14.400 You're dealing with the problem while it is small before it can grow into something serious. 00:22:16.160 --> 00:22:21.599 Look, let the fire go out, and may we never be a party to starting it or keeping it going. 00:22:21.759 --> 00:22:24.079 For lack of wood, the fire goes out. 00:22:24.319 --> 00:22:25.519 We all know that. 00:22:25.759 --> 00:22:27.039 That's an obvious thing. 00:22:27.359 --> 00:22:30.160 Try a campfire, you you want it, you want it to get it out. 00:22:30.319 --> 00:22:31.680 Don't throw any more wood on it. 00:22:31.839 --> 00:22:33.359 For lack of wood, the fire goes out. 00:22:33.519 --> 00:22:38.480 Where there's no whisperer, you got no gossips around, quarreling will cease. 00:22:40.640 --> 00:22:43.119 You know the phrase guilty by association. 00:22:43.279 --> 00:22:46.000 Well, the Bible says we're guilty by listening. 00:22:46.160 --> 00:22:50.720 Even if we're not the one spewing it out of our mouths, we're just as guilty by being a party to it. 00:22:50.880 --> 00:22:52.559 Proverbs 17, 4. 00:22:52.960 --> 00:22:59.440 An evildoer listens to wicked lips, and a liar gives ear to a mischievous tongue. 00:22:59.599 --> 00:23:01.519 I mean, that is scary, ladies. 00:23:02.000 --> 00:23:09.440 An evil they call in, if you just listen to somebody spewing that out of their mouths, God says you are an evildoer. 00:23:09.519 --> 00:23:14.160 And a liar gives ear, listens to a mischievous tongue. 00:23:14.400 --> 00:23:17.440 But hey, don't worry, you're also guilty by association as well. 00:23:17.599 --> 00:23:25.440 Proverbs 20, 19 says, Whoever goes about slandering reveals secret, therefore do not associate with a simple babbler. 00:23:26.559 --> 00:23:29.680 Ladies, this is so scary and so serious. 00:23:29.839 --> 00:23:31.920 Let's heed the warnings of scripture. 00:23:32.079 --> 00:23:37.200 Stay away, be a good, trustworthy, faithful friend, and confidant. 00:23:41.039 --> 00:23:45.200 Letter D, an angry heart leads to harsh words. 00:23:45.519 --> 00:23:51.839 Now, most of our angry or frustrated tones or responses, they are not righteous indignation. 00:23:52.079 --> 00:23:55.440 So don't say to me, but you know, there is a righteous anger in the Bible. 00:23:55.519 --> 00:23:56.720 Yes, I do know that. 00:23:56.960 --> 00:23:58.400 Jesus did that perfectly. 00:23:58.480 --> 00:24:07.599 And sometimes we do have righteous anger, but 99.99999% of the time, our anger is associated with things not going our way. 00:24:12.000 --> 00:24:18.160 They are selfish responses to extreme disappointment or things not going as we had planned. 00:24:18.640 --> 00:24:22.880 It's when my schedule doesn't work out because somebody put a kink in it. 00:24:23.039 --> 00:24:29.200 It's my dinner not getting done in time because I was cleaning up another mess or I was dealing with a lengthy phone call. 00:24:29.440 --> 00:24:30.559 You know what I mean. 00:24:30.640 --> 00:24:33.039 You can fill in the many blanks that are there. 00:24:33.359 --> 00:24:38.799 But get to the root of the problem, which is your angry heart, not that you were stuck in traffic. 00:24:39.839 --> 00:24:46.640 Proverbs 15, 1 says, A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. 00:24:46.880 --> 00:24:59.519 James 1, 19 through 20 says, Know this, my beloved brothers, let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger, for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. 00:25:00.720 --> 00:25:12.880 Oh ladies, please know that you don't have to be the one that throws the things or punches walls or gets very demonstrative with your actions, or even the one who screams and yells to prove that you have a heart of anger. 00:25:13.119 --> 00:25:15.440 Yeah, those are all signs of a heart of anger. 00:25:15.599 --> 00:25:26.799 But let me just say that your cutting or demeaning words, although spoken in a very normal tone, with a seemingly calm demeanor, also reveal your angry heart. 00:25:27.279 --> 00:25:31.119 So don't say, yeah, but it's my husband who punches walls. 00:25:32.720 --> 00:25:34.400 Your mouth will show. 00:25:35.119 --> 00:25:38.559 Your tongue will show if you have an angry heart as well. 00:25:38.880 --> 00:25:42.720 Excuse me, ma'am, but your heart is showing. 00:25:43.440 --> 00:25:46.960 Letter E, a careless, lazy heart leads to idle chatter. 00:25:47.200 --> 00:25:49.359 Oh my, this is another convicting verse. 00:25:49.519 --> 00:25:55.680 Proverbs 10-19 says, When words are many, transgression is not lacking. 00:25:55.839 --> 00:25:58.319 But whoever restrains his lips is prudent. 00:25:58.880 --> 00:26:00.640 Proverbs 29-20. 00:26:00.799 --> 00:26:03.119 Do you see a man who's hasty in his words? 00:26:03.279 --> 00:26:06.079 There is more hope for a fool than for him. 00:26:06.319 --> 00:26:10.319 Ladies, in Christian love, sometimes you just need to be quiet. 00:26:13.519 --> 00:26:14.640 Keep talking. 00:26:15.680 --> 00:26:17.039 Keep talking. 00:26:17.440 --> 00:26:19.519 And there's just going to be some sin there. 00:26:20.720 --> 00:26:22.960 We just often talk too much. 00:26:23.119 --> 00:26:24.640 We spew forth too many words. 00:26:24.720 --> 00:26:27.359 And in a multitude of words, sin is not lacking. 00:26:27.519 --> 00:26:39.039 For those of you in here who are married, if your husbands were to come in one by one and parade across this, and we were to hear his complaints, which we would try to limit, and I'm sure he wouldn't have many. 00:26:39.119 --> 00:26:40.319 I'm sure he would not. 00:26:40.559 --> 00:26:44.480 But one of them probably would not be that you do not talk enough. 00:26:44.720 --> 00:26:45.039 Okay? 00:26:45.759 --> 00:26:46.880 Did you hear that? 00:26:48.559 --> 00:26:51.440 That would probably not be one of his complaints. 00:26:51.680 --> 00:26:55.759 It's not what you don't say, it's what you do say. 00:26:56.240 --> 00:27:02.720 So we must guard against all these sinful attitudes of our hearts to avoid all of these sinful patterns of speech. 00:27:03.200 --> 00:27:09.359 Now, perhaps one of these, and again, there are so many others, we just don't have time for that, but we wanted to concentrate on those today. 00:27:09.440 --> 00:27:12.400 Perhaps one of these has particularly struck a chord with you. 00:27:12.720 --> 00:27:22.079 You may not have even realized that your sinful speech pattern in a certain area is showing the true colors of your heart condition. 00:27:22.400 --> 00:27:23.680 So what are we to do? 00:27:23.839 --> 00:27:24.960 Roman numeral three. 00:27:25.119 --> 00:27:26.240 What do we do? 00:27:26.400 --> 00:27:28.960 We A look to the gospel. 00:27:29.519 --> 00:27:31.920 If you're not born again, you must be saved. 00:27:32.079 --> 00:27:35.359 Without a new heart, there will be no lasting permanent changes. 00:27:35.599 --> 00:27:41.119 You may be able to reform your mouth for a little while, but it will get the best of you. 00:27:42.079 --> 00:27:45.279 It's difficult when you are a Christian to control your tongue. 00:27:45.440 --> 00:27:51.920 I can guarantee you that if you do not know Jesus, if you do not possess the Spirit of God, this cannot be a long-lasting thing. 00:27:52.079 --> 00:27:53.119 It just won't. 00:27:53.359 --> 00:28:06.240 And number two, if you know Christ, if you've been given a new heart, through the power of the Holy Spirit, the power of the gospel that is in you, you can speak in a way that glorifies God and bears fruit indicative of one of his children. 00:28:06.640 --> 00:28:08.720 Remember, disciples are different. 00:28:08.880 --> 00:28:11.279 Christians look different than the world. 00:28:13.759 --> 00:28:21.119 And this is one way that the world is going to see a difference in us, our mouth, because we have transformed hearts. 00:28:21.359 --> 00:28:24.960 Now, here's how we live this out according to the gospel. 00:28:25.279 --> 00:28:27.440 Look at the example of Christ. 00:28:28.319 --> 00:28:30.880 1 Peter 2, 21 through 24. 00:28:31.119 --> 00:28:38.079 For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his footsteps. 00:28:38.319 --> 00:28:42.880 He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. 00:28:43.200 --> 00:28:46.799 When he was reviled, he did not revile in return. 00:28:46.960 --> 00:28:52.960 When he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued in trusting himself to him who judges justly. 00:28:53.680 --> 00:28:57.519 He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. 00:28:57.599 --> 00:28:59.039 By his wounds you have been healed. 00:28:59.200 --> 00:29:01.200 Christ is our perfect example in this. 00:29:06.880 --> 00:29:08.319 He could have done a lot of things. 00:29:08.400 --> 00:29:10.240 He could have evaporated them. 00:29:10.480 --> 00:29:12.000 He could have defended himself. 00:29:12.079 --> 00:29:13.759 He could have said a lot of things. 00:29:14.000 --> 00:29:16.319 But he did not open his mouth. 00:29:20.160 --> 00:29:22.160 B, transform our thoughts. 00:29:22.319 --> 00:29:24.559 Philippians 4.8. 00:29:25.279 --> 00:29:27.839 This will help us in fighting this battle. 00:29:28.079 --> 00:29:29.119 Transform our thoughts. 00:29:29.279 --> 00:29:30.160 Philippians 4.8. 00:29:30.319 --> 00:29:42.400 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there's anything worthy of praise, think about these things. 00:29:42.720 --> 00:29:43.119 Wow. 00:29:43.200 --> 00:29:45.920 I mean, again, not a lot of wiggle room. 00:29:46.079 --> 00:29:54.960