WEBVTT 00:00:01.280 --> 00:00:02.959 Again, happy Mother's Day to all of you. 00:00:03.040 --> 00:00:10.240 It's a beautiful day, but I know it's also a very complex day, as I was praying and just thinking that for many today it is a day of celebration. 00:00:10.320 --> 00:00:19.280 You probably already have plans and things you're going to do together, places you're going to go, people you're going to meet in just a little bit, or might be sitting next to right at this moment. 00:00:19.839 --> 00:00:26.320 But not all of us are filled with that ability and to be able to express that sort of direct gratitude. 00:00:26.640 --> 00:00:30.239 For others, sometimes our children are a long way away. 00:00:30.399 --> 00:00:31.839 And we might get a phone call. 00:00:32.000 --> 00:00:33.200 We might get a video. 00:00:33.359 --> 00:00:35.520 But it's not the same as getting a hug. 00:00:37.119 --> 00:00:53.679 For others, young mothers, right in the thick of it, you woke up today exhausted, and you're going to bear the burdens of being a young mother with the with the kind of kind of pressures and difficulties that may show just a little bit on your face, but certainly weigh heavily on your heart. 00:00:54.399 --> 00:01:00.479 The others of us who are carrying an ache, would love to be a mother, but that's never happened. 00:01:00.719 --> 00:01:08.079 And so that rest on you, that longing that may or may never happen. 00:01:08.400 --> 00:01:17.760 Or you've lost a child through miscarriage or through illness or some circumstance that no sermon's really going to be able to touch deeply. 00:01:20.000 --> 00:01:23.280 Or perhaps your relationship with your mother is strained. 00:01:23.439 --> 00:01:26.799 Or maybe the relationship you have with your children is strained. 00:01:27.040 --> 00:01:34.799 And today, while others celebrate, you feel that longing for something to be different there. 00:01:35.439 --> 00:01:39.680 Today is a reminder of what's broken, not what can be celebrated. 00:01:41.280 --> 00:01:47.040 And for many of us, today is a day in which we remember those who have gone. 00:01:48.000 --> 00:01:53.599 I was looking at some pictures just yesterday, my mother, and enjoying the memory of her. 00:01:53.680 --> 00:01:58.239 But I can't celebrate her today with the kind of word and love that I'd like to. 00:01:59.519 --> 00:02:07.519 But I want you to know that we're going to be looking at the book of Titus, and it is a portrait of what grace looks like when it shapes a lady's heart. 00:02:07.760 --> 00:02:14.719 And no matter what condition you're in today, it can meet all of the ladies and all of the men. 00:02:15.039 --> 00:02:18.960 So I'd like for us to open up Titus chapter 2 together. 00:02:19.360 --> 00:02:33.759 And whether you're here as an older woman or a younger woman, married or single, mother, grandmother, never had a child, whose lives have mothered dozens of people in this church, even though you don't have a child of your own. 00:02:34.000 --> 00:02:39.120 I want us to find here in Titus chapter 2 a word for all of us. 00:02:39.759 --> 00:02:56.879 As you might recall from last week, we listened to Paul's words to the men in Titus chapter 2, that the older men were to be sober-minded and dignified and sensible and sound in love and sound in faith and sound in endurance, and that young men were to be self-controlled. 00:02:57.599 --> 00:03:03.919 We saw behind all of that that these men, whether they were older or younger, were to be shaped by the grace of God. 00:03:04.319 --> 00:03:13.599 And this morning, as we turn to Paul's words, as he looks toward the women in the congregation, we don't find a separate category of instruction. 00:03:13.759 --> 00:03:19.840 We find that the same grace that shapes the men is the same grace that shapes the women. 00:03:20.560 --> 00:03:27.120 And so before we walk through this passage, I want us to take a look at verse one and just be reminded of something that was said last week. 00:03:27.680 --> 00:03:34.080 Paul tells Titus in verse one to proclaim things consistent with sound teaching. 00:03:34.319 --> 00:03:39.599 And we said last week that sound teaching is healthy instruction. 00:03:40.080 --> 00:03:47.520 It is doctrine that is not abstract, but the kind of truth that nourishes and engenders a particular kind of life. 00:03:47.680 --> 00:03:51.439 It's wholesome, it's healthy, it's life-giving. 00:03:51.680 --> 00:04:08.159 And so when Paul steps down deeper into this chapter, he's using that as an overlay, not just for the older men and not just for the younger men, but also for the older women and the younger women, and on into other categories that'll be looked at as we go through the rest of the chapter. 00:04:08.400 --> 00:04:20.720 And what he's doing here is showing us what healthy teaching produces, what kind of life is visible and shaped by what truth does in the heart. 00:04:20.959 --> 00:04:30.000 And that it shows us that gospel proclaimed and gospel lived is fueled by grace in both places. 00:04:30.240 --> 00:04:35.600 So this morning I want us to look at three points this morning as we look through this passage. 00:04:35.920 --> 00:04:45.920 I want us to see in verses three through five that first of all, the grace of God steadies older women into a life of reverence and wisdom. 00:04:46.240 --> 00:04:54.560 And that the grace of God also sends these older women into the lives of younger women as servants of grace. 00:04:55.040 --> 00:05:06.720 And then, third, the grace of God shapes young women into portraits of gospel beauty, all so that God might be honored in a watching world. 00:05:07.040 --> 00:05:11.439 So let's look at verses two to two three two through five, or three through five. 00:05:11.519 --> 00:05:13.120 Let me read it together. 00:05:13.519 --> 00:05:38.560 In the same way, older women are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not slaves to excessive drinking, they're to teach what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands and to love their children, to be self-controlled, pure, workers at home, kind, and in submission to their husbands, so that God's word will not be slandered. 00:05:39.120 --> 00:05:46.319 So let's look at these three movements, which really do give us a portrait of grace in the lives of older and younger women. 00:05:46.399 --> 00:05:51.519 And the first one is this that older women are to be steadied by grace. 00:05:51.759 --> 00:05:53.439 Steadied by grace. 00:05:53.759 --> 00:05:59.199 Now, when you look at verse three, you're not looking at a list of duties. 00:05:59.519 --> 00:06:03.519 This is not a task list of what ladies are to do. 00:06:03.920 --> 00:06:08.319 What Paul is doing is painting the picture of a life. 00:06:08.560 --> 00:06:13.759 And he's painting a picture of a life that's been studied by the grace of God. 00:06:15.360 --> 00:06:20.000 And he names these ladies, first of all, as older women. 00:06:20.160 --> 00:06:22.079 And he doesn't put an age on it. 00:06:22.319 --> 00:06:23.759 And I think that's important. 00:06:24.000 --> 00:06:34.480 I think what he's talking about here is rather a woman who has accumulated years of experience, who's been able to be positioned within the church in that influential way. 00:06:34.800 --> 00:06:40.240 My sons go to a church where in their 30s they're some of the oldest people in the congregation. 00:06:40.560 --> 00:06:48.879 And so my sons and their wives are really standing in the place of older men and older women among a younger congregation. 00:06:49.920 --> 00:07:03.279 Depending on the makeup of the congregation, that will not be an age-graded thing so much as a sense of balance between who's older and who's younger within it. 00:07:03.439 --> 00:07:12.800 And so we're talking about ladies who have had accumulated years of experience, who've gone through seasons of joy and sorrow and waiting and loss. 00:07:13.439 --> 00:07:20.959 And the Lord has settled their souls, even in the midst of that, matured them through all of those experiences. 00:07:21.519 --> 00:07:29.920 They've been formed by those moments and by God's grace to be in a position of influence in the lives of the younger women. 00:07:30.879 --> 00:07:38.079 And he uses the word likewise there, if you'll notice that in verse 3, likewise are in the same way, older women. 00:07:38.480 --> 00:07:43.199 Pointing us back to how grace shaped older men and grace shaped younger men. 00:07:43.439 --> 00:07:49.600 So grace is now producing this Christ-shaped maturity within the body of Christ in the older women. 00:07:49.920 --> 00:07:52.720 And Paul gives us four qualities. 00:07:52.959 --> 00:08:01.920 Again, not a checklist, not a task list, but four brush strokes of a portrait of gospel wisdom. 00:08:02.639 --> 00:08:09.600 Let's look at them each and then we'll sort of see how this unpacks in relevance and implication for us. 00:08:09.839 --> 00:08:14.000 First of all, reverent in behavior. 00:08:14.720 --> 00:08:23.680 Now, the Greek word here is a compound word, which means befitting the holy, something that is suitable to what is holy. 00:08:23.839 --> 00:08:26.000 So it's not just a Sunday posture. 00:08:26.160 --> 00:08:31.360 It doesn't just show up on Sunday, but it shows up on Monday in those conversations. 00:08:31.519 --> 00:08:35.440 It shows up on Thursday night after a difficult day. 00:08:35.679 --> 00:08:42.960 It's a life that is suitable to living with a deep abiding awareness in God's presence. 00:08:43.200 --> 00:08:45.679 And the life is suitable to it. 00:08:47.600 --> 00:08:57.679 My wife smiles at me every time I try to wear something green because you can really, really mess up your look when you're wearing green. 00:08:57.759 --> 00:09:04.000 And Royal looks at me and she goes, That green and that green do not belong together at all. 00:09:05.120 --> 00:09:07.840 So we were in the middle of a conversation a couple days ago. 00:09:08.000 --> 00:09:12.559 And I said, she's having a very deep philosophical discussion with me. 00:09:12.639 --> 00:09:14.799 And I'm like, I've got a question. 00:09:15.039 --> 00:09:17.440 And she looks at me like, okay, where's this coming from? 00:09:17.519 --> 00:09:19.039 And I said, You see that jacket over there? 00:09:19.120 --> 00:09:20.799 Can I wear it with this shirt? 00:09:24.559 --> 00:09:29.759 And I showed up, I showed up next to her with it on, and she goes, just do what you're gonna do. 00:09:32.080 --> 00:09:37.120 And what she was telling me was that shirt and that jacket are not befitting one another. 00:09:37.200 --> 00:09:38.960 They don't fit together. 00:09:39.200 --> 00:09:47.440 And when we we hear this word reverent to behavior, it means there's a life that is complementary to holiness. 00:09:48.000 --> 00:09:51.600 It the life fits together with that. 00:09:53.120 --> 00:10:00.639 And so this is a lady who brings the calm into the room because she's gone through experiences that have shaped who she is. 00:10:01.759 --> 00:10:07.919 She's prayed through enough dark nights where she's not panicking when the next one shows up. 00:10:08.879 --> 00:10:19.600 She's a lady who's watched God's faithfulness in enough times of uncertainty that she can move into a place of uncertainty with confidence and not fear. 00:10:21.919 --> 00:10:28.240 That's the kind of life that is complementary to the holiness of God. 00:10:29.519 --> 00:10:30.720 Look at the next one. 00:10:31.120 --> 00:10:34.159 Not slanderers, not slanderers. 00:10:36.879 --> 00:10:41.519 The word there is literally diabolos or diabolus. 00:10:42.399 --> 00:10:44.399 Does that sound familiar to any of you? 00:10:45.679 --> 00:10:47.200 It's the devil. 00:10:49.120 --> 00:11:00.080 This is the word that's actually used for the accuser, the one who tears down through destructive speech and accusation and slander. 00:11:00.879 --> 00:11:07.919 And Paul is saying here that older women's speech must not carry the quality of the enemy. 00:11:10.639 --> 00:11:11.919 Why is that? 00:11:13.360 --> 00:11:18.320 Because the longer you live in this world, the more you realize how powerful words are. 00:11:19.120 --> 00:11:24.480 When you're a kindergarten, you know, you can say sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. 00:11:24.559 --> 00:11:28.559 And you get older and you realize I'm not singing that song anymore. 00:11:28.879 --> 00:11:30.720 Because they do hurt me. 00:11:30.879 --> 00:11:33.200 I'd rather have the sticks and the stones. 00:11:34.240 --> 00:11:44.720 And so we know that a word fitly spoken brings health and life, but a word that's said in haste, it can wound. 00:11:45.360 --> 00:11:51.840 A piece of gossip can fracture a friendship, or it can even divide a church. 00:11:52.720 --> 00:12:13.440 And older women, precisely because they're the kind of women that people look to and listen to and want to lean on, they're the women who recognize how responsible their speech is and how powerful an influence it can be in the lives of others. 00:12:13.679 --> 00:12:20.320 And so Paul is calling on the older women to have the kind of speech that reflects Christ, not the enemy. 00:12:20.559 --> 00:12:26.639 One that's encouraging and that builds up rather than one erodes or destroys. 00:12:27.759 --> 00:12:30.320 Look at the next quality here. 00:12:30.879 --> 00:12:38.159 Not enslaved are not slaves to excessive drinking. 00:12:38.720 --> 00:12:45.600 Now, obviously, there is on the surface level an obvious about that, but it gets beneath the surface here. 00:12:45.759 --> 00:12:54.000 This is not just talking about, you know, what the A ABV is on the beverages that you're drinking. 00:12:54.240 --> 00:12:56.879 It's not just talking about can I have one and not three? 00:12:57.039 --> 00:12:58.320 Can I have three and not six? 00:12:58.559 --> 00:13:01.360 Can I do it once a week and not six days a week? 00:13:01.519 --> 00:13:04.080 That kind of discussion misses the point. 00:13:04.799 --> 00:13:08.960 What it's asking here is, ladies, what has mastery over you? 00:13:10.240 --> 00:13:13.279 Where do you go when the pressures come? 00:13:13.759 --> 00:13:20.399 When griefs and disappointments and loneliness tempt your heart to find a release. 00:13:21.039 --> 00:13:22.320 Where do you go? 00:13:24.320 --> 00:13:39.759 Well, some people will go to alcohol, some people will go to shopping, some people will go to social media, some people will find something to numb the gnawing difficulties of grief and disappointment and loneliness. 00:13:42.159 --> 00:13:55.360 And here the Lord is saying, don't be enslaved by the things, because every one of those false masters is only going to ensnare you, not relieve you. 00:13:55.600 --> 00:14:00.559 And if you give yourself over to them, you'll find yourself bound, not free. 00:14:02.159 --> 00:14:08.960 And so find your freedom in Christ, find your freedom in truth, not things. 00:14:10.720 --> 00:14:17.360 Fourthly, they are to be those who teach what is good. 00:14:18.399 --> 00:14:19.679 I love this word. 00:14:27.600 --> 00:14:36.639 And the word therefore good carries with it not only a moral aspect to it, but an aesthetic aspect to it. 00:14:36.960 --> 00:14:42.639 Teach that which is beautiful, it could be said. 00:14:43.279 --> 00:14:58.559 To talk about those things that are choice, are pleasant, are excellent, are beautiful to look at, in which the outward appearance and the inward disposition of the heart meld together. 00:14:59.360 --> 00:15:09.279 To be a teacher of that which is welcoming to people, that is seen as beautiful or the right way to live. 00:15:11.039 --> 00:15:13.120 Paul's not talking about a classroom here. 00:15:13.279 --> 00:15:21.039 He's not talking about getting behind a microphone or standing behind a platform or a podium or even a pulpit. 00:15:21.360 --> 00:15:55.360 What he's talking about is the teaching of a life, the steady curriculum of your character, in which you could be in a kitchen or a living room, you could be in a conversation after a Sunday morning service, you could be on a phone call in a Wednesday afternoon, and there you're shaping someone's understanding of how to respond in the middle of bad news, or how to grieve with hope, or how to open up your home and your heart to people with needs. 00:15:56.240 --> 00:16:11.840 So this is teaching not primarily even by what you say, but significantly deeper than that by how you conduct yourself, in which your life is the lesson, not simply your words. 00:16:13.279 --> 00:16:23.120 Now, all of this, like I said, is a portrait, a portrait of a lady who is living her life empowered by the grace of God. 00:16:24.879 --> 00:16:31.440 Now think of Proverbs chapter 31, often read as a checklist of accomplishments, but it shouldn't be seen as that. 00:16:32.000 --> 00:16:41.440 The point in verse 30 of chapter 31 of Proverbs says, Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she is to be praised. 00:16:42.639 --> 00:16:45.919 And in verse 26, it talks about what this woman is like. 00:16:46.480 --> 00:16:53.600 She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. 00:16:54.080 --> 00:17:02.799 And so, Paul, when he's painting this portrait of a godly older woman, he is pulling out of the book of Proverbs that picture. 00:17:03.120 --> 00:17:11.279 But he's also looking somewhere else because that flowering image is also given another place, and that is in Christ Himself. 00:17:12.319 --> 00:17:19.039 Christ is the ultimate reverent one, whose life was always suitable to the holy. 00:17:19.440 --> 00:17:22.720 He is the one whose speech was always to build up. 00:17:23.839 --> 00:17:31.279 He is the one who was enslaved to nothing, but rather gave himself to the will and word of the Father. 00:17:31.599 --> 00:17:36.079 And he is ultimately the teacher of what is good. 00:17:36.720 --> 00:17:41.839 And so, ladies, older ladies, particularly, you're not given a checklist. 00:17:41.920 --> 00:17:44.720 You're being encouraged to grow in Christ. 00:17:44.960 --> 00:17:51.279 And the more you grow into Christ, the more these things will become fruitful in your life. 00:17:51.759 --> 00:18:05.759 Because as grace is operative in your life through Jesus, it's going to steady you and it's going to form you, and it's going to give you a life in which others will find beauty on display. 00:18:07.680 --> 00:18:10.880 So think about some ladies in our church right now. 00:18:12.319 --> 00:18:19.680 You'll never see them leading a program, you'll never watch them stand behind a microphone. 00:18:21.200 --> 00:18:29.680 But when they come into your presence or into the presence of others, they're there as a calming, settling, steadying influence. 00:18:31.759 --> 00:18:43.680 And whenever a younger woman's life is falling apart, whenever the marriage is filled with difficulties, whenever a diagnosis comes that's uncertain, that's where you go. 00:18:44.400 --> 00:18:45.359 You go there. 00:18:46.319 --> 00:18:48.960 You go to that person who talks to you. 00:18:49.279 --> 00:18:54.880 And who can tell you, let me tell you what it was like when God met me in that moment. 00:18:57.759 --> 00:18:59.680 Her life isn't flashy. 00:19:00.559 --> 00:19:04.400 She doesn't have to be the loudest or most vibrant in the room. 00:19:04.960 --> 00:19:09.359 But she's the most welcome because she has wisdom. 00:19:10.799 --> 00:19:13.039 So let me speak to you directly, ladies. 00:19:13.200 --> 00:19:15.200 I just want to say a word to you. 00:19:15.519 --> 00:19:18.880 Your life carries more influence than you realize. 00:19:20.319 --> 00:19:32.319 All those prayers that you prayed through in those sleepless nights, all of those battles that you fought, all of those times when you chose faithfulness when nobody else was watching. 00:19:34.079 --> 00:19:35.920 They've all shaped you. 00:19:36.160 --> 00:19:40.880 They've shaped you to be a presence in this congregation. 00:19:41.519 --> 00:19:44.640 And you're here, as we'll see in just a moment, to help. 00:19:44.799 --> 00:19:46.799 But you've been shaped by grace. 00:19:47.039 --> 00:19:55.200 And I don't want you ever to underestimate the value of that and the treasure that God has been building within you. 00:19:55.920 --> 00:19:59.119 Because there are people here who need your steadiness. 00:19:59.359 --> 00:20:03.920 There are people here who need the calm that's been forged in your difficulties. 00:20:05.759 --> 00:20:12.480 And for those of us who have gone through hardships, sometimes it's hard to see beyond the pain. 00:20:12.799 --> 00:20:16.319 But, ladies, I want to speak to you who have dealt with a lot of pain. 00:20:16.880 --> 00:20:20.880 Where it feels like perhaps you've even experienced more pain than fruitfulness. 00:20:22.160 --> 00:20:27.440 Suffering is the very place in which God shapes character often. 00:20:28.480 --> 00:20:36.799 And those experiences that you wish you could erase are the very material out of which God builds the portrait of a godly woman. 00:20:38.880 --> 00:20:41.519 Because there's not a woman who's never struggled. 00:20:41.920 --> 00:20:44.960 And the young women don't see a woman who's never struggled. 00:20:45.039 --> 00:20:48.400 They need to see a woman who struggled and found God to be faithful. 00:20:49.680 --> 00:21:02.480 They don't need a woman who knows all the answers, but a woman who herself has had questions and found herself driven deeper and deeper into the faith and trust of God. 00:21:03.839 --> 00:21:06.880 Now watch how Paul moves from that portrait. 00:21:07.119 --> 00:21:11.200 Because he's not only shaping older women, but he's sending them somewhere. 00:21:11.440 --> 00:21:15.119 Not only shaped by grace, you are sent by grace. 00:21:15.200 --> 00:21:18.319 And take a look at chapter 2, verse 4. 00:21:18.799 --> 00:21:22.319 So that they may encourage the young women. 00:21:22.640 --> 00:21:27.440 There's a ministry that older women are called to have. 00:21:28.319 --> 00:21:33.680 A service of training and encouraging the younger women. 00:21:43.359 --> 00:21:58.640 This is a word that has a specific dimension to it about bringing someone to their senses or helping somebody see the pathway that should be walked on and helping them to walk on it. 00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:04.400 About forming the whole person, not just giving them information. 00:22:05.519 --> 00:22:10.799 And so here Paul is describing this, and he doesn't even have a classroom in mind. 00:22:10.880 --> 00:22:12.559 He doesn't have a church program in mind. 00:22:12.640 --> 00:22:16.559 He doesn't have a six-week curriculum in mind at all. 00:22:17.680 --> 00:22:32.160 He's talking about in the midst of your organic relationship among the body of Christ, that you're embodying a grace-filled shape that can move from your generation to the next. 00:22:33.200 --> 00:22:43.119 Of one older woman stepping into the life of a younger woman with steadiness and shape that helps them be steadied and shaped also. 00:22:44.000 --> 00:22:46.400 And this is what I call gospel order. 00:22:46.720 --> 00:22:55.440 Older women shaped, older women sent, younger women developed into the same shape by the grace of God. 00:22:55.599 --> 00:23:01.359 And that relational chain is the gospel transmitted from life into life. 00:23:02.799 --> 00:23:04.960 What does that look like in practice? 00:23:05.279 --> 00:23:10.000 Well, there are a number of opportunities for older and younger ladies to meet one another. 00:23:10.240 --> 00:23:13.599 We have bring your own luncheons once a month. 00:23:13.680 --> 00:23:15.279 We have fellowship meals together. 00:23:15.440 --> 00:23:18.400 The ladies have their brunches and retreats. 00:23:18.559 --> 00:23:22.960 They're saying hello to one another before and after the service. 00:23:23.200 --> 00:23:24.880 We have a church directory. 00:23:25.039 --> 00:23:33.279 There are a lot of places where we can intersect with each other, prayer meetings on Wednesday night, ladies' Bible studies on Saturdays, and other times. 00:23:33.519 --> 00:23:42.400 They're all places to intersect with one another so that there might be the opportunity to say, can we have a little bit of time together? 00:23:42.880 --> 00:23:47.440 And it may just be 10 minutes in a pew after most people have already gone home. 00:23:47.680 --> 00:23:51.519 Or it might be, come over to the house and let's have a cup of tea or coffee. 00:24:02.319 --> 00:24:09.920 It might be a widow who takes a single woman and says, You don't have to be married to have the fullness of life. 00:24:15.440 --> 00:24:20.480 Who takes a young lady and says, Let me show you the way. 00:24:24.000 --> 00:24:29.039 Ladies, your life is a curriculum, and the young women need it. 00:24:30.000 --> 00:24:33.039 You don't need to be perfect to be helpful. 00:24:33.599 --> 00:24:35.519 You just need to be available. 00:24:36.400 --> 00:24:42.079 You need to have an open door for others to say, I want to enter in. 00:24:43.440 --> 00:24:47.839 And that's the ministry, and it's really that simple, but it's really that profound, also. 00:24:48.400 --> 00:24:52.160 And so, young ladies, I want to I want to say something else here. 00:24:53.119 --> 00:24:58.079 You are not meant to navigate your circumstances alone. 00:25:00.400 --> 00:25:07.200 God has given you resources, and the resources are around you right now, they're with you. 00:25:07.680 --> 00:25:14.400 And so we have older ladies who are meant to be available, and younger ladies who have a need. 00:25:15.039 --> 00:25:18.880 And let's see what we can do to close the gap between that. 00:25:19.359 --> 00:25:23.920 Sometimes it means asking, sometimes it just means offering. 00:25:24.319 --> 00:25:30.000 But it does mean connecting in every way because none of us were designed for isolation. 00:25:30.319 --> 00:25:32.240 We're in this together. 00:25:32.559 --> 00:25:39.680 And so Paul is saying here that these older women are not only shaped, but they're sent into the lives of the younger women. 00:25:39.839 --> 00:25:55.440 And that the younger women, though they might be hesitant, are to seek those older women out and ask them questions and invite them in and find out where they've struggled and where they've sought God in the midst of those things, or where they're suffering and how God has been faithful through that, too. 00:25:55.920 --> 00:26:04.160 Because you both need to know that you belong and that someone else is carrying the same burdens and is shaped by the same grace. 00:26:05.680 --> 00:26:07.839 And I know the hesitancy here. 00:26:08.480 --> 00:26:11.519 I have dealt with too many regrets in my life. 00:26:11.759 --> 00:26:14.160 No one will ever hear my story. 00:26:15.119 --> 00:26:17.519 Does that ring in your heart sometimes? 00:26:18.160 --> 00:26:21.519 I just can't be that kind of helper. 00:26:23.359 --> 00:26:29.279 The enemy would love nothing more than to tell you that and to keep you isolated. 00:26:30.079 --> 00:26:41.839 He would love to take every single one of your missteps or every single one of your suffering moments, or every one of many of those what you might deem as failures, and lock you up in silence. 00:26:44.000 --> 00:26:48.720 But your story is not meant to be a story of perfection, it's meant to be a story of grace. 00:26:50.240 --> 00:26:53.759 And the grace of God saved us when we were rebels. 00:26:55.039 --> 00:27:04.559 And we can speak about that grace, so we can also speak about the grace of God in the midst of our difficulties and hardships and even our failures. 00:27:06.000 --> 00:27:09.200 Because the young women need to hear that too. 00:27:10.559 --> 00:27:20.799 Now, watch how Paul moves not only to shape the older women, but to send, steady the older women and send the older women, but to shape the younger women. 00:27:21.119 --> 00:27:23.920 Look at the rest of verse 4 and verse 5. 00:27:25.039 --> 00:27:37.200 So that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands and to love their children, to be self-controlled, pure, workers at home, kind, and in submission to their husbands. 00:27:37.680 --> 00:27:39.440 That's a lot to carry. 00:27:39.680 --> 00:27:42.400 It's really interesting how this is weighted. 00:27:42.640 --> 00:27:50.480 The younger women are forming a home, they're shaping children, they're balancing relationships and expectations. 00:27:50.640 --> 00:27:53.440 And sadly, expectations are all over the place. 00:27:53.759 --> 00:28:02.640 Culture and social media, the rest of your family, extended friends, and sadly, sometimes even in the church itself, expectations. 00:28:03.440 --> 00:28:08.319 And those expectations can feel like a burden rather than a blessing. 00:28:08.559 --> 00:28:11.599 And Paul is not adding to that weight. 00:28:12.480 --> 00:28:19.359 He's showing how gospel order works as it moves from in one generation into the next. 00:28:19.519 --> 00:28:22.559 And again, this is not a portrait of a superwoman. 00:28:22.880 --> 00:28:26.640 This is a portrait of a lady shaped by the gospel. 00:28:27.359 --> 00:28:29.039 And let's take a look at the elements here. 00:28:29.200 --> 00:28:31.039 First of all, affectionate love. 00:28:32.319 --> 00:28:37.440 To love her husband and to love her children. 00:28:37.759 --> 00:28:46.720 And again, the language in the original language speaks of not just a sacrificial giving up, but rather of an affectionate love. 00:28:47.519 --> 00:28:54.400 It's a word from which we get Philadelphia, the city of brotherly love, which is anything but a city of brotherly love. 00:28:56.079 --> 00:29:00.400 But it's talking about a love that's not cold and duty-bound. 00:29:00.640 --> 00:29:09.599 It's talking about a warmth and a delight and an affection in that most intimate of relationship that you have with your husband and your children. 00:29:10.160 --> 00:29:18.240 One that welcomes the husband warmly at the end of a day, in which you've worked, or he has worked, or you've both worked. 00:29:19.359 --> 00:29:24.960 Or the kind that gets down on the level of the child and just speaks with them at that place. 00:29:25.200 --> 00:29:30.640 Or someone who treats others with patience and kindness, even though the day's been long. 00:29:39.599 --> 00:29:45.119 Because you can be very correct in teaching and starve the people closest to you. 00:29:45.759 --> 00:29:50.559 You can lead a Bible study and you can wound your children. 00:29:51.440 --> 00:30:05.200 But here, grace is shaping the heart and shaping it by love to make you warmer and deeper and more reflective of the one who loved us with an everlasting love. 00:30:06.960 --> 00:30:08.240 Self-controlled. 00:30:08.640 --> 00:30:20.880 It's interesting this one pops up again because it's the exact same thing that's said about the older woman back in the earlier part of verse 4, but it's also what's said about the older men and the younger men. 00:30:22.240 --> 00:30:30.160 This is the single one characteristic of the family of God in every dimension in Titus chapter 2. 00:30:30.480 --> 00:30:34.160 This is family-likeness for everybody. 00:30:34.400 --> 00:30:35.759 Self-controlled. 00:30:36.880 --> 00:30:50.400 This is our family resemblance, in which the inner ordering of our life, being shaped by the grace of God and formed into Christ's likeness, is what leads us to live our life in a distinct way. 00:30:52.240 --> 00:31:01.680 And so younger women need to learn from older women what it means to have their life ordered by the gospel, to have their priorities set by the grace of God. 00:31:02.559 --> 00:31:06.319 And that shows in the next one, pure, pure. 00:31:07.839 --> 00:31:18.000 This is not just mere, this is not just moral purity, this is single-heartedness and single devotion. 00:31:18.799 --> 00:31:21.440 A whole-hearted focus. 00:31:21.920 --> 00:31:25.200 This world wants to divide us and to compartmentalize us. 00:31:25.440 --> 00:31:30.880 But here is an integrity of life from the inside that is wholly devoted to Christ. 00:31:32.799 --> 00:31:37.039 The world tells women you're not enough and at the same time too much. 00:31:37.519 --> 00:31:42.480 And here, scripture is saying, make your whole life focused on Him. 00:31:44.400 --> 00:31:50.319 The next one is to be workers at home. 00:31:59.680 --> 00:32:05.920 And it's been dismissed as outdated because people don't really wrestle with what it actually says. 00:32:06.640 --> 00:32:12.240 Because Paul is not saying that the only place that a woman should be is in the home. 00:32:12.559 --> 00:32:21.200 He's not talking about where they are to be, he's talking about what their res where their main responsibilities are. 00:32:23.680 --> 00:32:26.319 Paul is talking about a stewardship. 00:32:26.480 --> 00:32:30.000 And the home is not a place, it's a domain. 00:32:30.240 --> 00:32:35.119 And that they are to be workers in this domain. 00:32:36.000 --> 00:32:42.799 Because the intimate place of your relationships is the most significant place of your influence. 00:32:43.039 --> 00:32:46.400 It is the place where formation happens. 00:32:46.640 --> 00:32:50.559 It is the center of gravity for your family. 00:32:51.359 --> 00:33:04.799 And younger women are entrusted to bring influence into that intimate place with wisdom and grace as they take over the responsibilities of it. 00:33:05.599 --> 00:33:09.440 And so you reflect the love of God and the wisdom of the spirit. 00:33:09.680 --> 00:33:11.759 So think about it, for example. 00:33:12.000 --> 00:33:14.480 Here's a woman whose children are in school. 00:33:14.640 --> 00:33:20.079 She works three days a week, and she's overseeing the home. 00:33:20.319 --> 00:33:28.960 And it's not just micromanaging the chores that need to be done, but she has a governance over the home itself. 00:33:29.200 --> 00:33:31.039 This is her domain. 00:33:31.519 --> 00:33:35.039 And so she pays attention to the flow of the household. 00:33:35.359 --> 00:33:39.039 She notices the mornings that are starting to get a bit frantic. 00:33:39.359 --> 00:33:50.079 And so she adjusts the whole family schedule, including her husband's, so that some good rhythms of routine can be rebuilt back into the home life. 00:33:50.160 --> 00:33:51.759 That's her influence. 00:33:52.319 --> 00:33:57.279 She shapes the weekly rhythm so her family isn't constantly scattered. 00:33:57.759 --> 00:34:12.559 And so she works to protect evenings or some other time in the home to where those things can be brought where they belong, to center itself on family love and as believers, growth in Christ. 00:34:13.199 --> 00:34:20.400 She not only pays attention to the flow of the household, she also pays attention to needs that might be coming. 00:34:20.880 --> 00:34:28.880 Sees a daughter who's overwhelmed with schoolwork and tries to help her restructure her schedule so she has some breathing room. 00:34:29.039 --> 00:34:32.559 And it might mean we're skipping music lessons this week. 00:34:32.880 --> 00:34:36.719 It might mean it doesn't matter if you get an A this time. 00:34:37.679 --> 00:34:45.360 And restructuring those things so you can bring back a sense of pace and life into the life of your children. 00:34:46.480 --> 00:34:55.440 She takes control of that so she can initiate a reset of the frantic pace of life that we sometimes get ourselves caught up into. 00:34:56.960 --> 00:35:01.599 She has domain in the holes in the home, so she coordinates hospitality. 00:35:01.920 --> 00:35:04.320 It's not a performance, but a ministry. 00:35:42.639 --> 00:35:44.239 This is about stewardship. 00:35:44.400 --> 00:35:50.960 It's not about where you have to be, as so much as what you take charge of. 00:35:52.079 --> 00:35:53.679 It's your domain. 00:35:54.000 --> 00:36:04.400 It's where people are formed, it's where peace can be cultivated, and it's where the grace of God can be visible in those patterns of life that you're shaping. 00:36:05.760 --> 00:36:12.239 The next word, kind, kind, really means strength under control. 00:36:13.760 --> 00:36:18.079 The choice to soften when the world would want you hard. 00:36:18.719 --> 00:36:22.719 The choice to build when the world would want you to tear down. 00:36:23.360 --> 00:36:28.800 The choice to extend grace when it would be easier to be judgmental. 00:36:29.039 --> 00:36:30.880 That's what it means to be kind. 00:36:31.360 --> 00:36:40.639 Because to be kind means you have to make an intentional focus on those things to be soft and to build and to extend grace. 00:36:40.880 --> 00:36:42.159 That's kindness. 00:36:42.960 --> 00:36:53.039 A kindness that steadies your relationships and diffuses the conflicts and brings an inviting atmosphere in the midst of conflict or confusion. 00:36:54.159 --> 00:37:00.239 And then, last of all, number six, in submission to their husbands. 00:37:00.719 --> 00:37:07.920 Now, Paul comes to this last quality, and again, one that requires some careful handling and thinking. 00:37:08.800 --> 00:37:20.000 What this is talking about is a voluntary ordering, a willingness to enter into a relationship as structured by God's design. 00:37:20.880 --> 00:37:33.440 It doesn't say a word about domination, it doesn't say a word about eraser of a woman's voice or a woman's gifts or a woman's opinions or a woman's dignity at all. 00:37:34.159 --> 00:37:34.800 At all. 00:37:35.440 --> 00:37:37.280 Again, it's a posture. 00:37:38.239 --> 00:38:01.920 It's one that mirrors the humility of Christ Himself, who submitted him to the activity of saving humanity by becoming human in the incarnation, by going to the cross in suffering, by dealing with all of those things, so that we might be able to say, thanks be to God through Christ Jesus, my Lord and Savior. 00:38:03.199 --> 00:38:06.559 Now, the husbands aren't mentioned here in Titus chapter 2. 00:38:06.800 --> 00:38:10.239 We could go to Ephesians chapter 5 and find them mentioned here. 00:38:10.400 --> 00:38:16.719 And there the husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. 00:38:17.360 --> 00:38:46.880 That the husbands are to be seen as bending toward their wife in sacrificial care and love, so that just as the church is not only saved, but sanctified and eventually presented into the presence of God in full glory, so a husband is to bend himself toward his wife in sacrificial love, so that the wife is strengthened and settled and sanctified in the grace of God. 00:38:48.000 --> 00:38:51.280 I'd like to think of it like this: like a dance. 00:38:51.920 --> 00:39:00.719 The beauty of a dance is not found in one partner overpowering the other, or two partners in conflict with each other. 00:39:01.440 --> 00:39:04.079 It's found in the harmony of their movements. 00:39:04.639 --> 00:39:10.000 It's found in the middle of trust and attentiveness and a shared focus. 00:39:11.119 --> 00:39:13.119 That's a good dance. 00:39:13.679 --> 00:39:22.239 Yes, one leads, another follows, but the following is never passive, and the following is never forced. 00:39:24.000 --> 00:39:32.159 It is an active, responsive, skilled, and essential part of making that dance beautiful. 00:39:32.480 --> 00:39:54.559 And this is what Paul's talking about here: to move together in step with one another, by the grace of God, so that you might display the love that Christ has for his people, and to do so in the midst of every day, in the ordinary rhythms and patterns of the day. 00:39:55.760 --> 00:39:59.920 That's what a Christian marriage is: a beautiful dance. 00:40:01.280 --> 00:40:05.199 Now, some of you are not married, and some of you don't have children. 00:40:05.519 --> 00:40:07.199 Is Paul excluding you here? 00:40:07.360 --> 00:40:08.400 I don't think so. 00:40:09.039 --> 00:40:22.400 Because every quality that he's named so far, love and self-control and purity and stewardship and kindness and a willing submission to God's ordering, that could apply to all of us, whether we're married or not. 00:40:22.960 --> 00:40:28.960 The sphere might look different, but all of our relationships need warmth and affectionate love. 00:40:29.440 --> 00:40:33.920 All of our lives need ordered by God's self-control. 00:40:34.320 --> 00:40:39.280 All of our lives need wisdom and stewardship. 00:40:39.840 --> 00:40:50.800 All of our lives need to be in a place where we're kind, in which we deal with work or other things in society according to God's order. 00:40:52.880 --> 00:40:55.760 Again, we're here pointed to Christ, young ladies. 00:40:55.920 --> 00:41:05.360 We're here to see Christ who loved perfectly, who loved patiently and sacrificially and unwaveringly, who extended love even to those who rejected him. 00:41:06.239 --> 00:41:20.320 Christ Himself, self-controlled, perfectly pure, the steward of what he was given and kind, and also perfectly submissive to the Father's plan as he went to the way of the cross. 00:41:20.880 --> 00:41:30.159 Now I want you to see the purpose statement behind all of this, not just for the older women and younger women, but also for the older men and younger women, younger men. 00:41:30.400 --> 00:41:32.480 Take a look at the last phrase. 00:41:32.800 --> 00:41:37.440 So that God's word will not be slandered. 00:41:38.159 --> 00:41:46.719 Paul is lifting the eyes of the older women and the younger women, lifting the eyes of the older men and younger men, and he's lifting us beyond ourselves. 00:41:46.800 --> 00:41:48.559 He's lifting us beyond our homes. 00:41:48.639 --> 00:41:50.639 He's lifting us beyond the church. 00:41:50.800 --> 00:41:53.679 He's lifting our eyes to the watching world. 00:41:54.639 --> 00:42:00.079 And he's saying the way that you live your life as a believer is not just a private matter. 00:42:00.880 --> 00:42:15.599 The way you love your wife or your husband, the way you love your children, the way you steward your home, the way you speak, the way you treat one another across generational lines, all of that communicates and all of it's being watched. 00:42:16.320 --> 00:42:22.719 And the watching people are drawing conclusions about God. 00:42:28.079 --> 00:42:37.679 But when grace shapes us, the word of God is adorned, the word of God is made beautiful, the word of God is given credibility. 00:42:37.920 --> 00:42:52.239 Because people will look at the life of a gospel-shaped man or woman and say, Whatever they believe, that's producing something I know I'd like to lean into and move toward. 00:42:55.280 --> 00:43:11.519 But when the world patterns shape us, when slander flows, bondages remain, and the home is indistinguishable from every every other home on the block, the word of God is going to be easily dismissed. 00:43:12.159 --> 00:43:17.360 It's not because the gospel has failed, it's because the gospel hasn't been put on display. 00:43:18.559 --> 00:43:21.199 And that's our calling as God's people. 00:43:21.840 --> 00:43:28.320 To know that sound teaching is not just something for our head or even for our emotions and our heart. 00:43:28.400 --> 00:43:30.239 It's something for our very hands. 00:43:30.400 --> 00:43:37.920 And it's meant to be produced in the character that we have and shown in our interactive intergenerational relationships with each other. 00:43:38.159 --> 00:43:44.079 And all of it is made possible by what's there at the end of this chapter in verse 11. 00:43:45.039 --> 00:43:58.079 The grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all, instructing us to deny godlessness and worldly lust and live sensible, righteous, and godly way in this present age. 00:44:00.159 --> 00:44:01.119 Isn't passive. 00:44:01.440 --> 00:44:15.360 Grace has brought us to Christ, and grace is shaping Christ within us, and grace is meant to be shared across the generations so that we might one day put Christ on display to this watching world. 00:44:18.480 --> 00:44:21.679 Happy Mother's Day, all of you. 00:44:21.920 --> 00:44:47.679 Let's be Father, we thank you for showing us something about the steady character of godly women through their reverence and their speech, through their freedom and their teaching. 00:44:48.400 --> 00:44:56.480 We thank you for giving us responsibilities to one another, older women and younger, older men and younger. 00:44:56.960 --> 00:45:07.920 And we thank you for the clear instruction of how a younger woman here is to be shaped, but also all of us in our own way. 00:45:08.800 --> 00:45:12.880 All of it so the Word of God will not be reviled but adorned. 00:45:13.360 --> 00:45:24.960 That the watching world would see a life of gospel beauty, one that can't be explained by our personalities or our culture or our efforts, but only by the grace of God. 00:45:26.719 --> 00:46:00.400 And so, Father, this morning, as we've honored the women in this church, the women, the mothers who are in the thick of the hardest and most beautiful work on earth, and grandmothers whose faithfulness has shaped generations that they may never see, for the spiritual mothers who have never borne a child but have shaped the hearts and lives of others' women, for the single women here whose lives are filled with purpose, for the widows, though they carry grief, have also carry a quiet strength. 00:46:01.039 --> 00:46:10.559 For the women who long to be mothers, for the women who carry grief today, who miss their mothers or their children, or the life they thought they would have. 00:46:10.800 --> 00:46:12.719 We honor them, Father. 00:46:13.280 --> 00:46:32.639 But we want to honor them most of all with this wonderful life-giving truth, that the grace of God has come, and the grace of God has come to deliver us from judgment and from all the pollution of this world, so that we might be shaped into gospel beauty. 00:46:32.880 --> 00:46:35.519 And Lord, I pray that you would be with them. 00:46:35.920 --> 00:46:52.800 I pray that you would shape the ladies in our congregation through all of their seasons, so that their stories might be shared with one another, that the grace that's mentioned here would flow freely from generation to generation and from life to life and heart to heart. 00:46:53.440 --> 00:46:57.119 We pray that the Word of God would never be reviled because of us. 00:46:57.760 --> 00:47:05.440 We pray that it would always be adorned and made beautiful, made credible, made visible through the grace shaped lives of your people here. 00:47:05.920 --> 00:47:11.679 And Father, we ask this in the name of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself up for us. 00:47:11.920 --> 00:47:13.599 And we pray this in Christ's name. 00:47:13.840 --> 00:47:14.400 Amen.