03 - Guided by the Blue Tree - Scott Harrison’s Story of Grief, Growth and Connection

Today’s episode holds space for a story both tender and powerful. I sat down with Scott Harrison, who shared the deeply personal journey he and his wife, Victoria, experienced as they prepared to welcome their baby boy, Evan.

What began as a joyful time of expectation shifted suddenly during a routine ultrasound, when they received the heartbreaking news that Evan had passed away before birth. From that moment, they began a journey through grief, love, and remembrance - navigating the realities of loss while holding on to the bond they formed with their son.

In our conversation, Scott speaks with honesty and heart about the hospital experience, the quiet moments spent with Evan, and the significant sign that Evan gave in the image of a Blue Tree brought comfort in the days that followed—especially on what would have been Evan’s birthday.

We talk about the emotional impact of late pregnancy loss, the strength of parental love, and the ways families can find meaning, even in the most unimaginable circumstances. Scott’s story is one of honoring, remembering, and learning to carry grief alongside hope.

This episode is a reminder that every life—no matter how short—matters, and that the love between parent and child endures in ways that words often struggle to capture.

Edited and produced by Mike at Making Digital Real

Transcript

and the lady responds and says you're not going to believe this which meant i took all the rocks over the forest except one not that one and the next morning it was in a little bag in a boat ah wrapped up um um on my daughter's desk oh how beautiful it's been by my bedside ever since welcome to guide to spiritualities podcast with me stacy bauer it's a down-to-earth space where we talk all things spiritual each episode i'm joined by guests from all walks of life to share real experiences practical tools and honest conversations about healing growth and the unseen spiritual world whether you're just starting out or you're deep on your journey this podcast is here to support your path with insight connection and that little bit of magic today we sit down with scott harrison who is a celebrity pt a sunday times best-selling author and the founder of the six-pack revolution he's also a follower of the law of attraction today's conversation is one held with care love and reverence it's about a baby boy named evan whose time on earth was brief but whose presence and soul continued to echo through the lives of his parents in powerful unseen ways this story is of love loss and the quiet miracle that comes when we listen with our hearts so today we have the amazing scott harrison with us thank you for joining us today scott thank you for having me so your story is a story of moss hope and just about every emotion that a parent could go through um if you would can you take us back to the start of when your story began please yes okay so this was a curveball in in our lives and and it began where one night me and the wife we didn't protect ourselves and we found ourselves pregnant on this very one only night that we didn't protect ourselves and we already had two children so we were not planning on having any more children but here we were now when i tell this story some people um are negative towards me but i'm going to tell you how the experience i had and what we were thinking at the time just to be totally honest with you yeah so we were now trying to decide what do we do we had three holidays booked just tell me i'm not baby's life's more important the holiday i'm just saying that's this is where we were and we were not planning this at all and obviously we do know how the birds and the bees work just one of those things so we were going backwards and forwards in our heads oh should we do this again and then we actually kind of wrote down a list of pros and cons there were no cons the pros were we had excuse me the family we could afford it we had the room we had the um love we had everything that was necessary really so there was no reason really to turn off this light that was coming towards us yeah but for some reason we wasn't right we're like this you know excuse me when i get emotional i might i start coughing forgive me yeah absolutely so we carried on with our lives what are we going to do what we're going to do and we we kind of cancelled the first holiday and we might we can get away with it and then my daughter was having a um assembly they were just uh you know like kids have assemblies and stuff and we were invited to go and sit in and watch them do their shun yeah so we went along to that assembly and i said to my wife and i don't really know why it just came into my mind clear as day i said to her let's ask the universe for a sign and she's gone you and your blooming well universe signs and stuff and i said and the sign is if we see a blue tree we're having the baby and she said well we're not going to see a blue tree aren't we i went exactly so if we do we're having the baby she went all right we actually shook hands in the car on it so we go to my daughter's assembly we watch the show it's great and they said you could go back to the kids classrooms see their books and sort of sit with them for a bit which we did and then we were all asked to leave and we was all asked to go down a different corridor than the one we came in at and i don't usually go to the school stuff because i'm working my wife does all that stuff so i've not been in this school any further really than the foyer and definitely not this bit because this was around the other back and the back was like of like we'd been yeah yeah steered in the right in the direction to in and out yeah we're walking down this corridor and on the left-hand side of the wall there was this eco save the planet uh display and it took up the whole wall and in blue painted hands was the biggest bluest tree you've ever seen in your life okay and i just froze grabbed her and i went vicky there's a blue tree and she went like you know our hairs were up on end yet i lifted her up off the floor i spun around and i said we're having a baby so went home decisions made december we put three pairs of slippers on the um fireplace because we hadn't told the kids yet they're all lying well what's the other was this little tiny pair of slippers and uh god i think i was gonna cry that quick boil back um and that's n yeah so we told the kids at christmas and they yeah yeah they wanted to choose the name so we said they could and i think they've been watching a tv show or something and they chose the name ever which we loved actually so we decided that was his name and we were because we still had um my my younger son's um which a baby seat yeah high chair high chair type yeah we would we would pull the high chair towards the table when we ate and pretend that evan was already here yeah so anyway um we carry on we go for the first scan oh sorry no i've gone i've got a bit so before christmas we go for the first scan and um my wife is a hundred percent sure oh oh god i'm missing it all it's all right it's because you got it roger this thing go back yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna backtrack a little bit yeah anyway we go on the first holiday yeah that wasn't the one we cancelled we go on the first holiday to france south of france and um my wife finds a a baby shop like massive great big department store just babies be like a mama's and papa's type thing yeah but massive and they've got a big sale on you know what ladies are like when it comes to a bargain right absolutely so i'm outside waiting just working and i go in when she's about to go and pay and she's got a whole trolley full of clothes all right and bits and boxes and i said so what are you doing getting stuck with the babies amazing i went what if it's a boy so it's not going to be a boy it's a girl i went no you cannot know that it's a 50 50 chance i said put it all back because we can't even come back and change it it's in another country yeah so she goes all right then she puts it all back but keeps a few bits because her cousin was also having a baby anyway and we knew that was going to be a girl so she said worse ways worse ways i've got some gifts for her yeah anyway now obviously you guys know that it's a boy yes so vicky then cries for two days for the girl that she's lost all her emotions she's all under play she's pregnant yeah then we get our head around it or she gets her head around it that actually our son our eldest is a daughter son's middle he's played with a girl all that time he's more likely to play with the younger one yeah she's become a teenager now and all that sort of stuff so maybe a boy's a great idea he gets the best of both worlds yes perfect then they called him evan we're back to where i left off um and we are as i say we are just living like he's already with us then we go to um this is now way over halfway through the pregnancy and we go to the for a the next scan or whatever number scan we're at at the time and we go in she's laying down she's got the gel on her belly and then the the lady's doing her stuff and i'm obviously facing the lady vicky's facing because she's on the bed the other way right and i saw the lady's face so my heart's going and then she goes i'm just going to go and get a second opinion so someone else comes in and confirms that he's dead just like that yeah we'd had two babies before healthy family because my job is health um we i'd lost all my faith in the law of attraction i'm saying i didn't create this i didn't was bringing his chair up to the table and putting slippers on that my hell you ain't but obviously my head i'd never seen my wife have a panic attack before and she's like she fell to the floor off the bed and was just kind of just sobbing and sobbing and we then get taken into this room that was for situations like this if you like and we're waiting in a room and someone comes in to see us and explains that she's got to have a tablet to induce her this was on a wednesday so that two days later on the friday she can give three birth death so she has to go through like i was like i can't even help like she has to go through all this pain of labor and give birth with no happy at the end yeah knowing that it's a bad situation yeah so we come home and and they had uh someone uh religious bear as well that you know come spoke to us so we come home and for two days she's can imagine she don't want to let him go like she don't want to share that she's kind of in her head wants to hold on to him because i guess when she lets him go the reality is going to be there right yeah obviously she's she's savvy so she knows she's got to do it so we go to this um to the hospital and there were two rooms for this type of delivery so you've got a big walled and there's two specific rooms so they take us into the room and on the wall there's a massive big blue tree no not going to see a blue tree are we now um i was just like what at that moment i realized we were always going to end up here yeah because the minute we acknowledged him and the minute he left there's a blue tree um so specific how could i have made this up and i told the nurses and stuff and they were like what so i'm rang my friend tracy higgs tj higgs she's a medium that's yeah used to work with colin fryer she was on the psychic detectives and on the tv she travels all over the world japan everywhere stands and say she's a medium many will know her people know um watching she's a friend of mine never get a reading off her because i don't because i wouldn't because she knows me i say we that's it yeah um and she said i said to look i know i don't ever ask you any i said but i've got no one else to ask me that i know could maybe give me some answers i told her what happened and where we were and there's and she went give me a minute and so you know they say they're tuning in or whatever they call it you know and she and she went what a clever boy you can't if you look at the tree in the in the ward there's three birds flying away with this blue tree and actually the leaves of this blue tree are kind of look like they're coming off the branches and it's blue and she said he's your third child and in his previous life he didn't get the love that he needed to move on and you set him free because of how much up you showed him um before it was even here yeah and that's why the three birds look like they're flying off free and the leaves as well so we give birth to him we have half an hour with him we'll give him a kiss and a cuddle and spend a bit of time with him and then we had to obviously go through the funeral and just me and vicky we didn't bring the kids into it we just said no no no and and that was kind of it we we we start to move on with our lives the following year exactly on his birthday the exact day of his birthday my wife's on facebook never goes on um social media at all she's not interested in it but she's on facebook for some reason on the on her on my daughter's um classroom group where all the parents are on maybe like a facebook and i don't know if you remember going back a few years now there used to be this thing called i was not in everywhere there used to be a thing called should put some tissues um magic rocks and what it was with people would paint stones yeah so it's a different look remember they take them over a forest local it's all right everywhere it's a bit of a craze and our kids would go and find them and photograph them and put them on the social media yeah i remember little craze this this woman the mum one by one of the mums who's really hippie actually really like proper hippie pipe and she'd be nothing of walking around with daisies in her like really properly yeah very very calm she's painted a um some rocks and one of the rocks was a blue tree just she just posted taking my rocks over the forest tomorrow so the next day i'm like a man possessed i walk over this the forest near us and i'm looking a good couple of hours can i find any stones let alone this one so i ask i come back and then thought to myself oh do you know what what maybe it's not even this forest i've just assumed it it might not even be in this forest so i said to my wife will you do me a favor will you ask come and run out um where she put the rock tell her why and all that sort of stuff and she went i don't know how i don't know her phone number i went but social media you can just message her through there yeah so anyway she does it and the lady responds and says you're not going to believe this she went i took all the rocks over the forest except one oh that one and the next morning it was in a little bag in a boat oh wrapped up um on my daughter's desk oh how beautiful it's been by my bedside ever since hi i'm just taking a quick break to thank you all so much for listening to the podcast and for all your lovely support if this episode gave you something to think about or simply felt helpful you can support future episodes and my tea habit over at buy me a coffee the link is buymeacoffee.com forward slash guide to spirituality every little bit helps me keep creating sharing and growing this space and i'm truly grateful oh what's that so and that were his birthday on his actual birthday his actual birthday how you can't you can't do that if you can't explain that that's not a coincidence is it and if and as you'll see this looks exactly the same as the one on the ward wall does it it's like she stood in front of that on in this in that room and painted it it's like ended it yeah it's um so look whether i'm right or i'm wrong somehow i feel he managed to send me something physical absolutely i truly believe that um because it's too precise yeah we we're not gonna see a blue tree are we no they were everywhere at every poignant moment yeah absolutely so my message of hope review that i took from it was we always think that the things that happen happen to us or because of us but maybe this was all about him that's exactly that's exactly how i feel about this and we were blessed to be able to step in and help him where he needed it exactly exactly and because of that we now wanted another child um a couple years later we had jasper who i have to tell you is literally an angel my all my kids have been really good kids yeah this little boy just is unbelievable is it is he very sensitive sensitive if all my kids are but sensitive and clever advanced his vocabulary but he never complains about anything and it wouldn't surprise me if one day he brought home a blue tree yes because it could be him because we took two years to fall and i'm wondering if maybe he came back but he just needed the time a little bit and um and there's a thank you to us just as the best kid that you've ever known guys i honestly i'm choked and that's my story of my boy with a blue truck so how long ago was this this is about five years ago now five years five or six years well crikey time flies doesn't it you blink because of covid it's all it's like well there are loops somewhere there that we've all just bearded on yeah we kind of love it might be six years coming up might be six years now okay yeah so how do you then so like you hear you get the news you're all excited we're having another child we've obviously got all the signs we're supposed to be having this child and then you know you go for a routine scan and i'm sorry there's no life there how do you then from having to give birth which is another traumatic like experience on its own anyway but then to find that actually there's going to be no child that's living at the end of it which is what you've been working for to then start to move on each day how do you then i've never lost a child how do you then like get up each day and go well actually we're gonna have to start i mean you've still got to be parents for two other children that thought they were getting a sibling well how do we start what i'd like to say first of all is that and i know this is hard to believe but i've been through it so i'm well not the other end but i'm sure it's worse i think there are levels of loss so our level of loss wasn't like somebody who's got a two-year-old yes or a ten-year-old that loses them so i think our level although it's sad and emotional and apart from the the beauty of the messages that we've got and that i specifically got it kind of came to me so i felt like she had him for that capacity and i had him kind of this yet somewhere else and obviously i'm never going to lose that you know that's always going to be with me and it's always a wow you know and not many people will experience that or maybe people have experienced it but haven't seen it don't don't connect with it or won't even be open to see so all those people that have been in my position um i would say to them that maybe you did a good thing for someone you know and it was necessary to to to help other uh you know others and so i think yes it took it took a bit of time as a couple something we wasn't expecting but because of all the other thing that was surrounding it we kind of felt proud and and there was a there was also there was a collateral beauty that was in the sadness which i think helped us move forward from it and i'm really glad now because they offered us to spend time with him and i was i was like i don't think we should do that i mean i was like that but shoot shoot my wife was not having any of that she would no way i am definitely seeing and of course she's right but you know when your emotions are all over the place i was a bit scared of it for those letters of it i've never said yeah and and you know when you've had children you have this maternal paternal instinct i mean you literally die for this thing you don't even know know it yeah you would jump off a cliff to save it you know that's that's like this well for most people anyway it's like a natural thing i thought it would be different in this scenario but when i set eyes on him in fact it could have been even stronger because i just felt so sorry for him and um and but i still had this light inside of me that we we we did this for you mate you know you see i believe very very strongly in like pre-birth contracts or soul contracts that we make before we reincarnate and i believe fully that when babies don't go to term or they are lost or the day after birth i solely believe that we've arranged that with the parents so we've we've we've all chosen each other on purpose so your son has picked your wife to be his mum and you to be his dad i truly believe that and actually it's for your journey as well as his own and when your friend had said that he was a very clever boy i immediately got an old soul i feel like he's had a few lives before where perhaps you know things had been different do you know what i'm saying i feel like he's um his brief uh incarnation is he's been agreed on a soul level does that make sense yeah and i get in my job i you know because i i'm a big believer in the law of attraction and i yeah believe in lots of different things and then one of the arguments to the law of attraction was always thrown at you is well um so did my my child who's got cancer did they attract that to them then oh right you know that and i said to him look it's a very emotive subject and i don't know when none of us know we can feel we can guess we can assume we can pray but none of us really know but the way i try and understand life which some in a lot of ways we should just live it and not try and understand it too much is is that maybe if we do come back and have an experience to become all knowing and all experiencing as an energy and then if you imagine life is a bit like a university and you're going into lectures so you come in here for this life you're going to learn this bit and in this bit you'll have many ups and downs because if you didn't know what a down was you wouldn't know what an up was that clear if you didn't know what good was you wouldn't know what bad was and vice versa so for us to actually feel everything or feel the good you still have to know the bad so when you know what it was good is you know and and so that's how i kind of tell people that my thoughts are maybe that you have to experience that part that's one that's the part of this lecture that you're coming into um yeah lecture um and and maybe that pain that you're going to go through is a lesson a learning something i don't know i could be wrong but no that's exactly how i believe it to try and make sense of it because why what is the sense in bringing a child and then they've gone in a couple of years due to an illness or something or there is also the fact that we are human beings and we are a complicated you know the amount of gazillion things that has to go right to come out with everything perfect yeah is that is a miracle in itself so very easily if one thing goes wrong that could just be nature and that's what happens but um this blue tree and i have no idea where it came from it was just in my head and i spoke it yeah um just before we went and see the blue tree as well well i was on the same day that it you know and then to end with it was was something that was pretty spectacular and i hope your listeners get some comfort and as i said hope in my story you see the thing with the trees i always say i run uh development uh classes and people that are developing will always say to me well how can i just made it up how do i know like my dad's passed but i swear he told me something last night but but it's probably just me making it up so i always say the same ask for something that you're never gonna get so what do you mean so i asked for like i don't know a purple frog with wings or something that is you wouldn't see it it's not there unless you went and looked for it like on the internet and what it's not there and i had a lady a few days ago she'd asked for um she'd asked for something and it were like on back of a bus it would have been on back of a bus it was something where she went well i wouldn't i'd never see that it's not it's not possible so that's when you always know it's spirit so for me that is unarguable unarguable arguable that that's from your son absolutely believe that hundred percent yeah but just to go back and that was and that was while he was yeah still it's still inside yeah yeah absolutely so he's obviously he's give you that while he's alive to let you know that obviously when he's that's my time for you there you go yeah i've got a feeling you'll see more of the blue trees yeah yeah we've seen a couple um but we we haven't associated them you know as as um so such poignant moments so these were specific moments as well yes yeah now he might just be tracking them down just exactly i think he's giving you i'm like i'm still about i'm still here i mean one of the one of the uh things that uh past loved ones do when they pass is they still bring you things that would have meant something to them so because obviously he's never been able to grow and say well my favorite color's blue or i like that tree he's giving you it now as that but just to go back when we were talking when you said that you know people say well you know why did my child choose the cancer or what have you i believe that we our human selves wouldn't pick a lot of what happens but our spirit self would our soul self would because like you said we're learning we're always evolving we're always learning but the human part of us doesn't understand that you know our spirit self needs these traumas to evolve yeah so totally believe that yeah well and yeah i hope uh as i said hopefully listeners get something from it just one more thing before you go do you know did you find just as it like if anybody's going through what you're you've been through now if anybody's going through it did you find that you got help somewhere were there anywhere where you thought do you know what i found this really helpful or there were this particular website or anything you think you know people should know this uh they offered us um oh it's very very sweet because when he was um when when he was born and all this happened they gave us a little gift packet which was a little teddy bear and all this sort of stuff to put in the coffin with him all that yeah and i can't i think they were what were they called something hands or sans forgive me i should know we didn't take up any of we didn't take up all the offers that we had of um some counseling and stuff like that yeah we managed ourselves and i think the whole blue tree thing helped us to be honest um and so we didn't actually go for any counseling but it's always offered and um i could let you know maybe i'll go and ask sure ricky will remember more than me um but they were really nice people in the hospital and you know it was all done really well and yeah i couldn't fault it really no no absolutely thank you so much for sharing your story with me today i really really appreciate it thank you you're very welcome yeah and anyone else who's been through that and just remember maybe it was not about you and maybe it was about them that's the thing it's not about you perhaps it's about the soul that you've helped yeah thank you you are very welcome thanks for having me thank you so much for listening to me stacy bauer on guide to spirituality podcast if you enjoyed this chat feel free to follow share or leave a review it really helps take what resonates leave what doesn't and keep showing up for you see you next time