I Guess I’m an Adult Now...

I Guess I’m Tired of Pretending Money Isn’t a Big Deal - Ep 02

• Chizi • Season 1 • Episode 2

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Money represents far more than currency—it symbolizes power, security, and status in ways that can deeply affect our self-image. "I had to stop and ask myself: am I sad because business isn't going well, or because I feel less than when I'm not making as much?" 

You are more than your money, but understanding how to talk about it might just change your life.

What financial conversations make you most uncomfortable? 

Subscribe now and join our community as we figure out this adulting thing together, one conversation at a time.

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Subscribe now and join our community as we figure out this adulting thing together, one conversation at a time.

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YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ChiziDuru

Follow 'Chizi Duru'
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/p/DIwi7l0PwfZ/

Speaker 1:

Welcome back to I Guess I'm an Adult Now the podcast where we try to make sense of adulting. One messy topic at a time, all right. So today we are talking about money. I feel like we need to talk about why money is such a touchy subject. From negotiating salaries, splitting the check for birthday dinners, asking somebody how much they made from a gig, if you're in that line of work, I feel like once it comes to money, there's always this like awkward pause and I need us to like break it down a little bit more.

Speaker 1:

I do think money, as much as we don't like to admit it, money means a lot to us. It's a lot deeper than surface. It can represent like just power, security, status. Um, even if we don't want to, sometimes you end up tying your value or your worth to money, but you shouldn't do that. Right. Right and that's something that I've even myself had to learn that I am not what I make or don't make. I actually really had to learn this lesson in the last three years, specifically because God has blessed me by the grace and much less mercy of God. He has really put me in a great financial position and there was a point within my business that I started making a little bit less than I was used to and I noticed I was sad. But I had to. Now, don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with being sad, like if you feel like your business isn't doing as well, it's sad. But I did have to stop and ask myself am I sad because business isn't going well, or am I sad because I feel less than because I'm not making as much? And I don't know? I just feel like that is something that you, we all, kind of need to like figure out and make sure you're not tying your worth to money. And it's not something, obviously, you're going to figure out overnight, but it's just things to think about. You know what I mean. You know I got to tie this to the Bible. So the Bible does say, right, the love of money is the root of all evil. I'll find where the verse is at somewhere soon, but I think it's Timothy. Either way, I agree. Now, not money necessarily is evil, inherently right, but the love of it, yes, it can cause so many issues and, yeah, I feel like we need to, we really need to talk about this.

Speaker 1:

So, when it comes to money, I saw a post on Reddit. That, I think, explains what I'm trying to say, and it was saying like somebody asked why talking about money is so taboo and the top comment said because it's the fastest way to realize who's winning and who's losing in life. Like, oh my gosh, now do I agree? Not necessarily, but I understand the rhetoric because we quite literally are separated by how much people make right, by their income. It's like a whole thing, right, you end up in a different class and status if you are a millionaire or just like middle class right, or the rich or the poor. It's a whole thing and it's like how do you not then just tie your value and your worth to that? So, yeah, we got to. We have to figure this out. This is deep.

Speaker 1:

So, yeah, I do think money has become like a big measure of success in our society, but I think it's important to understand and recognize that there's other measures of success in your life. How's your spiritual life doing you know? Um, how's the quality of the? Your community, right? Family, friends? Are you? Do you feel loved by other people? Um, your health? I don't know. To me, I'm quite successful if I have good health. You, you've actually won. So that's one and I feel like are you growing in knowledge right? Are you progressing in your career? These are all other ways to measure success. Oh, even your emotional development, your mental health, I mean I don't know. There are so many other ways to measure success in our lives.

Speaker 1:

And money is not the end. All be all. Now, all that to say money is nice. I'm not going to sit here and say you don't need money, you do. But another thing that I feel like I'm noticing is money is so hush hush, especially depending on the community you come from and you know us now Me being Black, me being Nigerian, like I'm Nigerian-American, I notice so many. There's just a very big hush-hush thing when it comes to money in our community and I really hate that for us and I'm actually going to make it my life's mission to make sure that we just learn how to open up about money.

Speaker 1:

Now listen, do I think you can talk money openly with everybody? No, because at the end of the day, I feel like money. It's not really about money, it's mindset more than anything, and some people are stuck in a cycle, right, or in a mindset that keeps them poor or that keeps them like, uh, running into, like money issues and things like that, or they've tied money to worth, and it's just like with those types of people yes, you're going to have to just leave them where they are, but I do think there's a lot of space and opportunity for us to grow and expand the way we view and think about money, and I think one of the ways to grow in our mindset is recognizing that you can talk about money openly in certain spaces. So I have a little story. It's like an example of this.

Speaker 1:

So this happened over the holidays. I was hanging out with some friends. There's a couple that they are getting married soon. So we were just like talking about you know, their wedding, talking about expenses and just like the fact that weddings are expensive. So I shared that I started a savings account for my future wedding, because who's paying for it? Right, like, obviously, husband, family will also pay and pitch in. But like I was just thinking about it and I was watching some of my friends get married and I was like, oh my God, I need to save for a wedding, so I started a savings account for it. It's a high yield savings account, by the way, because we need the interest to compound. Yes, but I took it a step further and I actually shared how much I had saved so far, because and I did it intentionally, because I do feel like in certain I did feel like in that circle it was fine, where you know I just want to be able to open up the space to let them know, like I don't mind sharing hard numbers, because I think sometimes you need to share hard numbers.

Speaker 1:

Think about, like communities. I think about communities that they are very group or community minded when it comes to money and building wealth. I don't want to like name drop in case, but just there's certain groups of people and not just one Like there's certain groups of people that they're more likely to pool money together. They'll pitch in together and do like group projects. They'll buy a house together. They'll build communities together and do like group projects. They'll buy a house together, they'll build communities together. Okay, and the only way they're doing that is if they're talking hard numbers with each other, you know. So I wanted to like create a space in that you know small circle that I was in and just open up the floor and say, like this is, this is the amount that I've saved so far. Either way. What's it like they're buying? They're paying for a wedding, so what's that number gonna do to them? Nothing. So anyway, that's an example, I feel like, of um, understanding and learning and being candid and open about money.

Speaker 1:

I didn't grow up in wealth at all. My parents are I would consider them middle-class, and my parents are immigrants. They immigrated here from Nigeria. My dad grew up literally with how many siblings my dad got. He got like 12, 12 siblings. He's the first boy immigrated here from Nigeria, so it's like money is a huge thing, right, and he had to work his way up.

Speaker 1:

I didn't grow up with a silver spoon at all and because of that, I adopted certain mindsets about money that I feel like if I didn't address them, it was going to keep me in a cycle of poverty. So what does that mean? I feel like one of those things is not talking about money ever, and I actually the way that I broke out of that was somebody started speaking openly and candidly about money to me, literally when I first started as an influencer or a content creator. I remember there was a girl. She just like we were just talking and she just showed me like a spreadsheet of all of the deals that she had and like how much she was charging. Because I was trying to figure out, like, how much to charge and things like that, and she showed me she was like you can actually like make a good amount. This is how much I charge for a video or a post on Instagram or something. And that was the first thing that like kind of opened my mind and made me go oh, people talk money.

Speaker 1:

Because I didn't grow up hearing people talk about money ever, especially not hard numbers. I found that that kept happening throughout my career. There would be another woman or another like fellow content creator who would you know share candidly like this is how much I was paid for this, and I'd be like, oh, so because them opening up to me, one gave me knowledge and leverage to now understand what, like how much to charge and things like that. Um, it also took away the stigma of money. Right now, I'm not like acting like. Thousands of dollars is like this mystical thing that I have to like run for for the rest of my life, and the moment that I grab it, I don't say anything anymore.

Speaker 1:

No, like there are people that are also making the money too and they're talking about it because it also you know what I think it is. It de-cent money Cause we'd be talking about decentering men. You need to learn how to decenter money, like it is not the end all be all of my life, it's just a tool to get from one place to another. So, anyway, so those were like some examples and experiences that I've had that kind of like helped me break out of the mindset or cycle that I think would have kept me in like a poverty loop. I think it's also crabs in a barrel mindset right, where you feel like you have to stay quiet to get ahead. So, anywho.

Speaker 1:

So I say all of that to say again you can't yes, you absolutely cannot talk candidly about money with everybody, but I do think it's important to find spaces and people that are safe, that are trying to grow, so that you can expand your mind and be able to actually learn more as well, because I think the reason why we're not getting anywhere with money is a lack of knowledge, like if you don't know something, you just don't know something. So you need to be in places and spaces where you are learning, and the only way to learn is if somebody is teaching you something right, which means they'd have to be open about it in the first place. So, yeah, funny enough, because in my life, in my mind, wealth is the only answer for me. So, and because of that, I actually told my coach, my business coach. I texted her one day and I was like I need to be around more millionaires because I realized the only way I will be making million, million, million is if I'm around people. Why did I say that like that? Sorry, can you tell, I'm of Nigerian descent. You are like what you know at the end of the day, right? So if I'm around people that are making a certain amount, I think more likely than not, it will then normalize it in my own mind, right, and show me that it's also possible.

Speaker 1:

I went to this is a side note. I think this is the second side note now, but we'll get back to the first part. I went to a conference it was like a social media conference, business conference kind of thing, and it was with Adweek. It was for Brandweek, though there was one woman that came on. She was a reality star, I think she was on the Hills or something and she started a, a company that sells like um, wellness pills and stuff like that. Anyway, she was like she was. You know, they were talking about a lot of stuff, but she mentioned oh, you know, I just recently got a CEO Cause she was the CEO of her company for a long time. She was like, you know, I got my company to about 50 million, but I feel like the new CEO is going to like get us past that mark and, you know, hopefully we'll be able to break a hundred million.

Speaker 1:

I said, wait, like I literally had to pause and be like did I just did my ears here correctly? I literally had to pause and be like, did I just did my ears here correctly? It was the way she said. It was so nonchalant and I was like, oh my gosh, I'm not thinking big enough. You see, that's what I mean by being in spaces where, like they do, these things open your mind to what's possible. And I think this can happen at many different levels. If breaking a hundred thousand dollars a year is maybe something you didn't grow up seeing, right, you need to be around spaces and people and all the things where there are people making six figures a year, because because then that opens your mind to, oh, this is possible. And then when you get there, you start listening and being around people that are making five hundred thousand a year, because now it shows you, oh, it's possible. And then after that you know one mil, and then 10 mil, then 50, et cetera, et cetera. So that broke my brain and I said, oh, oh, don't worry. The God that I said don't worry. So, yeah, anywho, I feel like I that was very long winded, but hopefully I got something from that.

Speaker 1:

Let's talk about money and like personal growth, because I, I I also think handling your personal finances right, like budgeting, how to save and invest and all those things is a little more elusive. I feel like it's nobody's actually teaching us how to do any of it, or even like using credit cards. Thank God for the internet. Right, at some point you do have to take control and, I guess, accountability for your own knowledge and learning, so you can learn and look up all these things. But I do think, at least for me, one thing that is always going to get me is budgeting. Budgeting is like I'll be honest, honest, I still don't know how to budget. I come on, crucify me, like, let me, and let me tell you.

Speaker 1:

I'm getting better now, though, but when I was younger but this is how I know that I was always meant to be rich, personally, because when I was younger, I told you I did not grow up with a silver spoon. My parents tried their best, but we still. I still had to like work, so that I just had extra money on the side for myself. So I would like braid hair and stuff. So, either way, shout out to everybody I used to braid their hair for it. One time I just went to the mall and I just went shopping. Mind you, I wasn't making this that much money, right? I would just do maybe a head of hair every once in a while. Making this that much money, right? I would just do maybe a head of hair every once in a while. And I swipe my card and it declines. I look at my bank account. I'm like, oh my God, I don't have any money. And you want to know what's crazy, I didn't even look at the prices of the things that I was buying. Like what? When I tell you budgeting and me is, but this is how I know, I feel like that was actually God trying to tell me that I'm always meant to be rich. I don't know. That's that's how I think about it. But either way, I've said all that to say that it actually made me realize.

Speaker 1:

Over the years I learned that money can be a little like out of sight, out of mind for me, kind of where it's like, especially with, like credit cards or debit cards where you're not handling actual cash. Sometimes we feel like money it doesn't really exist. You just swipe the card and whatever happens happens, and I do think at some point you have to learn and become very intentional about managing your money, like looking at your account, whether it's daily or weekly or monthly, like you really do have to do that because if not, you just spend. It's actually so bad. So, yeah, so if you and budgeting are not best friends, you're not alone, but we have to do better, okay, okay, what are the craziest ways people are making money these days? I want to know. Actually I need you guys to DM me some of like the craziest ways you've heard people making money or the craziest way you've made money.

Speaker 1:

Somebody said I knew a woman whose job was literally to sleep. Oh my God, that's actually that would be. That's a great job for me. Me and sleep go together real bad. A local office building wanted somebody on site 24 seven to be the point of contact with first responders. So they hired her to come into the building in the evening when the maintenance crew was finishing their work and she would settle up to sleep for the night in a bedroom they'd set aside for her. Wow, that's incredible. The woman who made six figures selling farts in jars Wow, innovative.

Speaker 1:

Honestly, if you ask me, what about you guys? What's one of the what's? What's, what's some of the craziest ways you've made money? I don't think I've done anything too crazy.

Speaker 1:

I've had, like some jobs, though, that were just like made me never want to go work there again. It made me go. I need to make way more money. I used to. I had a job in college where I had to grade like tests, and it's so funny because while I was at that job, I would literally like ideate YouTube video ideas. It's so funny. So look at how that worked out. We thank God. So money can change everything, yes, but it doesn't have to define everything. So I feel like, whether you are building wealth or just trying to make it to payday, remember you are more than money. You're more than money, okay, and you're more than your bank account. So that's it for this week. Thank you for tuning into I guess I'm an adult now the podcast, and don't forget to share, subscribe, tell a friend to tell a friend and maybe start that emergency fund. Yeah, you've been saying you were gonna do that. All right, see you in the next episode. Bye y'all.

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Chizi Duru

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