I Guess I’m an Adult Now...
If you’ve ever felt like you’re just winging this whole “being an adult” thing… same. In a digital landscape filled with perfectly curated content, join Chizi Duru as she unpacks the messy, hilarious, and sometimes chaotic realities of growing up. From the lies we were told about adulthood to the sneaky ways trauma shows up in everyday life, nothing is off-limits. Expect deep convos, unfiltered rants, words of faith, wisdom, and the occasional mental breakdown (because, let’s be real we’ve all been there).
Hit play, and let’s figure it out together.
I Guess I’m an Adult Now...
Things I Wish I knew In My Early 20s vs late 20s
Text us and share your adulting stories!
This evolution from doing things "for the plot" to recognizing my own value reflects the natural maturation process so many of us experience as we navigate our twenties.
Subscribe now and join our community as we figure out this adulting thing together, one conversation at a time.
Watch Video Podcasts
YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ChiziDuru
Follow 'Chizi Duru'
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/p/DIwi7l0PwfZ/
Mama was a rolling stone. Mama was a rolling stone. Do you guys know that? I used to be a rolling stone back in my day? So I'm thinking about how different I was in my early 20s versus my late 20s. I'm gonna just give you a story, just to give you an idea. So I'm a lot more refined to now I've been, but I this was my early 20s.
Speaker 1:I was on a brand trip. We had gone out the country and I think it was like two days before the trip was over and I remembered this guy that I had met in another country and I was like I should go see him. So I reached out to him. I'm like, hey, what are you doing in the next like three days? And he's like nothing. And I'm like, okay, great, I'll be in town. And I literally booked another ticket to go see this man that I've only met once. Okay, that's how impulsive I used to be. I was very, very impulsive when I was younger and I'm a lot more refined now, thank God.
Speaker 1:But what really sent me over the edge with that whole experience and this is when I knew I had to change? This was 2020, right before the pandemic started. So I came home and lockdown started and this man, this man did not reach out to me. He didn't ask if I was okay. I could have died. It was a global pandemic. I literally caught COVID and everything. He never reached out to me.
Speaker 1:That's when I knew I had to change my life. That's what I knew Internally. I was like oh Chizzy, you have to change. You can't keep going this way. Now I know more of my value. My self-worth, my value system has changed a lot. I'm content with not doing things for the plot anymore. I don't feel like I have to be everywhere and with lot of a season that a lot of you guys are in as well, or probably, if anything can relate, just the idea of going, you know, being in your early 20s to your late 20s. I still am a bit impulsive, but I'm not as impulsive as I used to be when I was younger. But I think that's the beauty of your early 20s Like. There's this magic and youth about like, not even like. There's a magic and a boldness about your youth right when you just feel invisible and you just you're. You're very hopeful about the future and everything working out. So you do the wildest things, and I was definitely, as y'all could tell, I was a wild one. And here's the thing Nobody would have ever known. That was the problem actually. That's why I got away with so much, because nobody ever was checking to make sure I was like not doing what I was not supposed to be doing. Because I was a good girl. Like I got good grades. I got good grades. Like I got good grades, I did sports. I was. Those are the ones you got to watch out for the most. I've really changed. No, I've really, really changed.
Speaker 1:You know we got to ask the question where are our parents right? Were our African parents right about going to school and getting your higher education? And do I wish I went to medical school? I think to an extent they were right, actually, because I think as you get older you start realizing or maybe your priorities shift and you realize how important financial stability is, like you actually need to be financially stable and sometimes you know your dreams can't necessarily pay the bills and you need something that's going to pay the bills. But I say yes and no because I do think, especially as a minority, getting your education is so important, like it is, it's necessary not only to like open up opportunities for you, career wise, but networking as well, like it's going to open up your network to people that you wouldn't meet anywhere else. I think it's a great time and buffer to like help you figure out what you want to do in the first place, I would tell anybody you should at least be getting your bachelor's degree. Like no matter what, you should get your bachelor's degree. Or if you don't want to get your bachelor's degree, go to trade school. Sure, but I do think you should get your bachelor's degree at least, and then after that, doctor, master's degree, et cetera. I feel like that's going to depend on each person, right, but we're not going to sit here and act like higher education isn't actually a really good strategy for life. I think you should consider it for sure.
Speaker 1:So what I will say is also, school is something that I'm thinking about now, funny enough. So sometimes I'm like, would you look at that? My dad told me to go back to school back then and I didn't, but I actually I still wouldn't go back to medical school because that's not something that is as I don't know. It's just not that important to me, right? It's not the thing that I feel like I'm called to. I really do feel like I'm called to media right, so I feel like I'm in the right space. But I would love to go back to school to just like learn about the landscape of media, to learn about business. But I'm happy that I actually waited Maybe not this long. I don't think I needed to wait this long. I could have probably gone back at like 26. But I'm happy that I waited a bit just to get life experience and work experience to give me to help me make a more informed decision about the education that I want post bachelor's degree. So yeah, all in all, maybe our parents were right.
Speaker 1:And also, nobody talks about how hard entrepreneurship is Like hey, well, let me tell you something Entrepreneurship is not what is cracked up to be like. Yes, you can get an amazing return on it if you do what you need to do and you have favor and all that stuff. But it's a lot of responsibility and I think the older you get, the more you realize at least I can speak for myself the older I get, the more I realize how much responsibility being an entrepreneur involves. You are responsible for your financial success as an entrepreneur, so it's like whatever you put in is what you get out of it. And sometimes that's even not the case, because maybe you're working really hard on a business and then it doesn't do so well and you're like wait a minute, you know so, and then you still got to pay bills and all that stuff. So the I do think the older that you get, the more you realize like whoa, this is like, this is a big decision and the weight of it can create a lot of pressure. So I don't think everybody's called to entrepreneurship, so, and because of that, I think you should go to school. I think you should go to school and make sure you have that backing.
Speaker 1:Let's talk about is there more pressure in your early twenties versus, like, your late 20s? I feel like there's different types of pressures for both seasons, right? So the early 20s pressure is like you're trying to create a life that you've never lived before. So it's kind of you don't know how to get there, but you want to get there. Or you don't even know where you're trying to go in the first place, but you just know you want to be successful in some way. So there's a lot of uncertainty. There's a lot of just stumbling and figuring it out and failing and messing up and figuring out who you are because you don't know who you are. It's just stressful.
Speaker 1:No, honestly, you couldn't pay me to go back into my early twenties I'm not going to lie to you but but, um, I think it's also beautiful. I think it's a really beautiful time because there's so many possibilities. There's so many possibilities like, and because of that you're so hopeful. You know, you're so full of dreams and if you lean on that, it will actually propel you. And actually I think that's what made me work so hard in my early 20s because I was so hopeful, I had such big dreams and because of it I worked hard, like I just I just kept working towards it.
Speaker 1:Did I know if it was going to work out? Not necessarily, but I was like I'm going to figure it out. I was so bold, oh my gosh. But I remember being so like lost, confused. I was like how do I confused? I was like how do I? Who do I talk to? How do I get there?
Speaker 1:But I think something that you need to know, if that is, you know, a space that you're in right now is like everybody's trying to figure it out, like, and eventually you will start to, like, figure it out, you will start to land on your feet and. But the funny thing about it is, once you, once you start figuring it out and landing on your feet, more likely than not. Funny thing about it is, once you, once you start figuring it out and landing on your feet, more likely than not, another shift will come and you got to figure that part out because you're going to get older, you're going to get in, uh go into different seasons, so you're constantly changing. So the comfort zone switches and changes and moves. So I think we all, whether you're in your early twenties or late twenties, you're going to have to get used to, or even older, you're just going to have to get used to change and not knowing and not always being comfortable. That's it, hon.
Speaker 1:I feel like with your late twenties, the pressures in your late twenties, is definitely that's when, hmm, that's when reality starts creeping in, like, that's when reality starts. You know, your late 20s slash early 30s is when you really start to see the results of the work that either you put in or you didn't put in, that either you put in or you didn't put in, and you also start to see the results of other people and their lives as well. I remember in high school one of my teachers was like you're going to see in 10 years, when it's your 10-year high school reunion, you're going to see the people that you know put in the work in their 20s and the ones that didn't. And she ain't say one lie, because some folk I'm like all right, but there's hope for you, don't worry. Don't worry, there's definitely hope. Um, but yeah, no, it's a real thing.
Speaker 1:Late twenties is I don't.
Speaker 1:I don't even know where to start from. Where do we? Where do we? Where do I go? Late 20s is a lot.
Speaker 1:Technically, you can do this at either point in your life, but in your late 20s specifically, it's also because of social media it's very easy to start comparing yourself to other people, because this is when, again, they start. We start settling. So you start seeing the people that bought the house, people start getting engaged. Oh my God, I just had my first kid. Somebody just made their first million dollars. One just landed on the cover of a magazine hey, essence, or somebody got a promotion. Like you really start to see people like share their achievements and if you aren't, somebody that maybe has gotten it together by your late twenties. This can cause a lot of mental pressure on you, and I really, really, really, really really feel for anybody that's in that position right now, because I think there's a misconception by that.
Speaker 1:By your late 20s, you should have everything figured out, and I don't really think that's the case. Like, the early twenties was the trial period technically, and now you have to figure out do you want to continue? Do you like where you're at Right, do you want to continue in this way or do you want to pivot? That's something that I like have been reading about and just like learning about. I don't remember the person that said it, but it's like, at least when it comes to career, because you've had like a couple of years now working and just experiencing life. Now you can use that information to decide if you want to, you know, hone in or zone in on your career or if you want to pivot. Late 20s is a really great time to start pivoting. So, yeah, I think that's another thing that you have to you start thinking about, which can just, you know, create pressure For me, though late twenties has definitely created way more pressure for me when I turned 28 years old.
Speaker 1:That's when I was like hmm, hmm, hmm, like I really started thinking and I don't I don't know if it's that my frontal lobe fully developed or what but 28 was when I really started experiencing a lot of pressure and I started putting a lot of pressure on myself. I think one, because I'm an entrepreneur the reality of entrepreneurship really started to hit me year 28. Yeah, it was actually the first year as well that I made less. So I was like it scared me because I'm like wait, hold on. And I knew I was making less because I was doing less. So that's why I was making less. But I was like, no, wait, you mean to tell me like I, I'm responsible for my own financial success as an entrepreneur. Is this really what I want to do? So I had to at least ask myself like is this something that I want to continue doing? So, yeah, I think the weight of the decision that I made when I was 21 really started to hit me at 28. Now, again, I do feel called to this space. So I don't feel like I don't think it was a mistake that I chose to go full time, but I was just, you know, I was just like dang girl, is this really what you want to do? So that's one thing.
Speaker 1:And then another thing that I was that's really been hitting me in my late 20s is just thinking about, like Loki, my parents and just the fact that they're getting older too, and it's just like what does that mean? It stresses me out when I think about it. That is also something that creates a lot of pressure. Also, having to reparent your parents, because now that they're getting older, they're just slowing down. They don't want to do as much. If you don't come from money and you start making money, like helping them out, and it's just like wow, this is, this is really an adult thing. This is a lot. And I think, honestly, thinking about the fact that my parents are getting older is, more than anything, I think, what creates pressure for me personally when it comes to the idea of marriage and kids, and because you're like I'm a woman and if you're a woman listening to this, more likely than not, because you're a woman, like as you enter your late 20s, marriage and kids is something that immediately becomes so loud, not only for yourself, but externally too. Um, so, yeah, that's something that, like, you have to think about.
Speaker 1:That I've been thinking about a lot in terms of, like, if I want marriage, do I want kids? If so, when is it going to happen? Do I? Am I okay with it happening later? What does that mean? If I want kids? I'm pushing 30. They say that your biological clock is ticking. What if I am not going to be able to give birth naturally? Do I care if I'm not able to give birth naturally? What if I never am able to conceive? What if I find a partner and I can't have kids? God forbid. But like, what if? Like, I'm starting to think about all of these things and just even like do I even want this at all? Do I want marriage? Do I want children? And, if so, why? You know? So those are a lot of the things that I'm thinking about.
Speaker 1:Also, another thing freezing my eggs. Like. I don't know if anybody has ever mentioned that to you, whoever you are listening, but I had a friend and she was like she's. She's a bit older. So she was like you know, you should really look into freezing your eggs if you, you know, are not going to have kids right now. And I was like you know, I didn't even think about that. So I looked it up. First off it's expensive, like whoa. But that's also another thing that I'm like oh, should I do that? What does that even mean? Does that mean I don't have faith? But also it's like what if it's just a precautionary thing, I don't know. So it's just a lot. It's a lot.
Speaker 1:Another big one is money. I mean money. I think once you enter your late 20s and you really start pushing 30 and beyond, you really think about the fact that you have to be financially responsible for yourself and, depending on you know the cards that you're dealt in your own life. Maybe there's other people that you have to be financially responsible for as well, and it's like you really got to think about it. Like how am I going to make money? How am I going to survive in this country and just this economy? How do I make more money?
Speaker 1:One just very important that you don't one don't beat yourself up if you feel like you wasted your time when you were younger, because I feel like that's something that some of us probably are feeling and experiencing, because I have friends. You know, I talk to my friends. All of us are in different places in our lives and I do think some of you know, some of us can beat ourselves up and be like I should have did this, I should have did that, but it's like you also didn't know, like you didn't know. We're all doing life for the first time, so you know, and maybe somebody did tell you to do something and you decided not to, and now you're like kicking yourself in the foot because it's like I should have did this and I would be in such a better place, but it's like okay, but you're not. So what are we going to do from now? I think all you can do is really focus on your now and setting yourself up for the future, and that's another thing. I think in your late twenties, early early 30s or honestly, whatever, we be making ourselves feel like we're so old, like we are running out of time and there is no more time. And da, da, da, da, da Yo, you're still a baby Low key. Life is actually just beginning.
Speaker 1:I was talking to an elder, an elder in the church, and he had asked me at my age and I was like oh, I'm 29. And he was like oh, my gosh, you're so young. When I tell you, that made me feel so good, I feel like I haven't heard that in a while, because, especially as a woman, they really start making you feel like you're so old, like once you start pushing 30, I guess because of the biological clock thing, but it's like, hold on, girl, I'm still a young spring chicken. So it actually made me feel really good to hear that, cause I'm actually I'm used to being the baby in, just like my friend groups, cause I've always acted older and I've always been around older people. So they're always like oh, my God, you're so young, you're so young. But it's like once I turned 28, 29, I will see people younger than me I said, oh, now, wait a minute, but yeah, so it was nice to hear that. I'll say that.
Speaker 1:But yeah, it's just a reminder that there's, there is really so much time, like, if you're still in your twenties, calm down, like, calm down. I feel like we definitely feel like everything has to be figured out right now and it doesn't I'm not and that's not to say like don't work hard and don't set yourself up for success and you know all that stuff but at the same time, calm down, live a little. All that to say like you really do start thinking about just the pressures of like, um caring for yourself financially and um, just working that out and money, money can give you mental health problems when you start realizing, oh I need money, like I need money, you need money to survive. Not only do you need money, you need good money management skills. Right, you need to understand financial literacy, you need to learn how to budget, you need to understand investing. I think that ties into the the aspect of like school and career and all of those things and figuring that out, because that's gonna be the thing to make you money. Right. Please, you need to understand, especially the ones in your early 20s. Do not blow your money.
Speaker 1:One of the best things that I did for myself sorry, I'm getting passionate One of the best things I did for myself in my early 20s was get a financial advisor and he sat down with me and he literally like set me up to. He got me to create an emergency savings account with like three to six months of expenses. Well, first off, we calculated all of my expenses like what am I paying for all that stuff, and then, from there, we calculated what an emergency savings would be. He set me up with a high yield savings account, so this would be my short, short term savings account and I used a high yield savings account to also have a separate account for all of my taxes that I would have to pay. Because I'm an entrepreneur, you have to or if you're a freelancer, you have to pay taxes on everything that you bring in. So that was another thing and a lot of entrepreneurs get in trouble because they don't save for their taxes. They'll just get like, whatever check they get, they'll just use that, but you actually have to pay 30% of that, whatever you're getting. So he set me up with that and then he set me up with um a stocks, was that's in essentially savings accounts, right, that are for more long-term savings that are compounding an interest, right. So it's essentially you're putting it in um places so that it can grow on its own, so you can put it into the S&P 500. You can put it in stocks and bonds. Bro, he did that. He just set me up and had me do that. We also created life insurance.
Speaker 1:If not for that man, I don't know where I'd be, but it was the best thing that I could do in my early 20s, because what you don't realize is, the earlier you start saving the better, especially with compounding interest. Not that this is supposed to be a financial thing, but I'm giving you some free financial advice because we need it. We need it so yeah, so definitely learn how to budget, learn how to save, please, in your early 20s. That's the best thing you can do for yourself. If you squandered your money in your early 20s, if you are in your late 20s, now, get it together now, immediately, because it's not just you, right? If you want to have a family when you're older or in the coming future, you need to save for this stuff. You need money for that. I've been thinking about kids like, wait, what I'm making is okay for me to survive. What if I have one, two, three? That's crazy. So I got to make more money and that's it.
Speaker 1:But regardless, I think what I'll say is wherever you are in life, change is inevitable. Right, seasons shift. Life change is inevitable, right Season shift. And I think it's important to embrace where you are, because you're not going to be there forever. So if you're just starting out in life, it's the early twenties enjoy that period, make smart decisions. That's going to set you up for later, but also live in the moment.
Speaker 1:Or if you're in your late twenties, like, embrace where you are right now, because you're never going to be here again, like that has always been my model for life and I think it's gotten me pretty far, just recognizing that I'm never going to have this time again, I'm never going to be this age again, so you might as well enjoy it, maximize it, okay, yes. So yeah, celebrate yourself, celebrate where you are, wherever that is, cause at the end of the day, you're alive, baby. We're alive. Like, come on, there's so long as you're alive, there's hope. So I don't know about you, but I'm excited. I'm excited for the future and if you're not, that's okay. I hope and pray that the excitement of life touches you. I really do, because there's a lot to live for. So, yeah, that's it for this episode. I'm so glad y'all tuned in to I guess I'm an adult now the podcast, and yeah, I'll catch you guys in the next one.
