
I Guess I’m an Adult Now...
If you’ve ever felt like you’re just winging this whole “being an adult” thing… same. In a digital landscape filled with perfectly curated content, join Chizi Duru as she unpacks the messy, hilarious, and sometimes chaotic realities of growing up. From the lies we were told about adulthood to the sneaky ways trauma shows up in everyday life, nothing is off-limits. Expect deep convos, unfiltered rants, words of faith, wisdom, and the occasional mental breakdown (because, let’s be real we’ve all been there).
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I Guess I’m an Adult Now...
How I Broke Free of Weed Addiction after 8 years | My Story (Part 2) - Ep 08
Text us and share your adulting stories!
In this episode, I talk about how I got addicted to w*ed in college, the mental and emotional spiral that came with it, and what healing looked like for me.
And if you’ve ever felt like something had a hold on you, maybe this one’s for you, too.
If you’d like to accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior, you can right now.
Confess your sins and ask for forgiveness
Decide in your heart to turn away from living a life not pleasing to God
Acknowledge the sacrifice Jesus made for you - that he died, resurrected, and is alive today.
Accept Him as your Lord and Savior
Ask to receive the power of the Holy Spirit to transform you from the inside out and that he will rule and reign in your heart
Resources for understanding the Gospel of Jesus video - https://youtu.be/xQkyuyE0vQk?si=Ds3sUNxfa36CY2lo
(disclaimer: I am not affiliated with this ministry at all, just a good explanation of the gospel!)
Resources for mental health: https://www.cdc.gov/mental-health/caring/index.html
Find a therapist -
https://providers.therapyforblackgirls.com
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us
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Hello, hello everyone, welcome back to the podcast. So I am your girl, Chizzy, and we are back with another episode, and today I am continuing my story about how I ended up addicted to marry Joanna. If you have not listened to part one, I would definitely urge you to go do that before you watch this video. In part one, I recount definitely urge you to go do that before you watch this video. In part one, I recount how I even fell into the habits of smoking, like the whole thing. Okay, so definitely take a listen. If you haven't, I'll have a link up here. Well, if you're watching on YouTube, and if you're not, then go just look at, look look at the previous episode. Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1:I want to use this episode to kind of share the miraculous, because that's literally what it was the miraculous story of how I was able to break free of addiction. I wish I could tell you that there were certain steps that I took and that I went to this meeting and did this thing. I'll tell you right now. Yes, it was Jesus. It sure was. Before we get into the story, though, I do want to say you know, in case there's anybody that's listening, that you know you are a social smoker, you don't really see anything wrong with it, or maybe it's something that is a part of your daily life. I am not here to judge you, okay. I am not here to judge you and the things that you do with your life and you know the habits that you have that you feel like are working for you. If you feel like it's working for you, then hey, baby, it is working for you. So, yeah, how I ended up being freed from addiction was actually the reason why I am so convinced about the reality of Jesus. Like it's so much a part of my testimony, right, and it's not really actually what brought me to faith. It's what kept me in faith.
Speaker 1:Okay, I left off in the last video, essentially sharing that by 20, between 2020 and 2022, the beginning of 2022, I was very, very deep into my addiction and I was really experiencing just like so many negative effects from by this point, right. Oh man, it became so bad. I I felt like a zombie a lot of times, like I was really just like moving on autopilot, and I don't think it was. I think it was the combination of the drugs and my lifestyle. I was dealing with burnout from content creation and just dealing with all the things of being a public figure and just it was a lot. And I knew that the capacity that I was just operating on was so low. Right, if the capacity, if the max capacity is 100% of just the output that you can bring out. Right, the productivity, the zeal for life. I think I was probably at like 30%. It's so wild because I don't know if anybody noticed, I really don't and the thing about it is, I know that I'm not alone in this. I know that I'm not alone in this and even just with peers that I have that are also in the constant creator space or the creative space, entrepreneurial space, or even just like the average nine to five worker, I know I'm not alone, but I do find, you know, as a creative especially, right, drugs are something that is kind of normalized in this space and many of us use it as a way to be creative and all these things.
Speaker 1:And I definitely fell into that line of thinking, thinking that it was helping me, that it was helping me be creative. But, child, baby, I was depressed, tired, lazy, depressed, tired, lazy. Oh man. So now it is 2021. It is the end of 2021. Okay, it is about to be a new year and I just kept thinking am I really about to go into this new year with this same habit? No way, no way. Like I was like, no, I cannot go into the new year but with this new habit, and let me, I want to paint the picture of how badly I wanted to quit by this point.
Speaker 1:Okay, I tried everything, and when I say I tried everything, I mean I tried every type of Mary Jane to see what could work with my lifestyle. So at first it was like, you know, smoking, like actual smoking, so rolling up and smoking it. Then I was like, okay, that's not good for my lungs. I noticed that I was coughing a lot more. I think we forget that smoking in general is not good for you. Like you know, we only talk about cigarettes. Okay, yes, the nicotine, it can cause cancer and things like that, but in general, inhaling smoke is just not good for you.
Speaker 1:And I noticed that, like, I was developing like a bit of a cough. At a point I did try I remember I think it was between 2018 and 2020, I used pens a lot. So, like, it's basically like a vape pen, but with THC, and I really liked that because it didn't have a scent, so I could do it like at home when I still lived in my parents' house. I liked it because it was very low key, nobody could smell it. But I noticed with the pen, maybe like after months of consecutive use, baby, I had a cough on me and I remember telling my therapist at the time that, like, I would use a pen because you know I could travel with it. And I remember telling my therapist at the time that, like, I would use a pen because you know I could travel with it and it was low key and it didn't have a scent. And she was like, okay, but just know that, like there's a lot of studies about how you can develop a popcorn lung, so that's probably not something you want to use long-term. And I remember the first time she told me that and it pissed me off. Oh, I was so upset because, like, why are you telling me? That pissed me off? Oh, I was so upset because, like, why are you telling me that? Like, I was so annoyed, Like I'm like, oh, you're such a buzzkill. Just so you know, popcorn lung is basically medically known as bronchiolitis obliteran and it's a condition characterized by damage to the smallest airways in the lungs, leading to scarring and potentially permanent breathing problems.
Speaker 1:While originally associated with a flavoring agent used in microwave popcorn, it can also be caused by inhaled chemicals, including some found in e-cigarette vapor. Oh, by the way, there is no cure for this. Wow. Once scarring occurs, treatment is focused on managing symptoms and preventing further damage. While there's been a link between vaping and popcorn lung, it's not the only cause. You can have exposure to this chemical in the workplace, food processing industries, et cetera, et cetera.
Speaker 1:Shout out to her for telling me that, and this is why it's important to have accountability in your life, to have people just that want the best for you, because sometimes the people that want the best for you are going to have to tell you the hard things, the uncomfortable truths, the truth, the things that you don't want to hear. So I didn't want to hear it at the time and I definitely kept smoking that little pen for a hot minute until I did start to notice that, like I had a little bit of a cough and actually I started to get uncomfortable with it. I did. I started to feel like, all right, what if this really does cause health problems for me. I would be so upset at myself for causing sickness onto my own self Like I just I could not.
Speaker 1:When the cough really started to develop, I was just. I became more and more uncomfortable with, you know, using the pen. Because, yeah, I'm a very practical person and I was just like babe, how ridiculous would it be to cause sickness to yourself, especially when you're starting to see the signs low key right now? And this is not the only way that you can take this drug. So just stop using it and use something else. She definitely planted that seed in there because I said you know what? I can't do this. No more, I can't. So I stopped vaping.
Speaker 1:But then I tried like edibles from the candies Girl. I found somebody that sold little drinks. It's amazing to see the lengths that I would go to get this drug that I just enjoyed and thought was the best thing on earth. And then I noticed that with edibles it was hard to regulate right how high I'd get essentially, and I didn't like the fact that, like once it hits you it's in your bloodstream and you can't really manage how high you get. So I'm like, okay. Then I tried like this other thing called Delta 8, because THC is Delta 9. So now they have Delta 8, which is not as strong as Delta 9.
Speaker 1:All of this to say I tried, I tried, I tried, I tried everything. I'm like all right, let's maybe try weaning off of it for a little bit. So, finally, you know I'm going into the new year and I remember telling myself all right, we are not going into 2022 smoking no more. This is the end, this is it, I'm done. Well, I came back and I was at the weed shop every day. If anybody can relate, you will always say today's the last day. I'm going to just do it today and then I'm not going to do it no more. This is it. So I will go to the shop because by this point, I think it started becoming legal right. So you could like go to a store and get it. I would go, I would buy like one or two edibles and be like okay, this is the last time. Then I finish it and be like actually, I want more. So I go again.
Speaker 1:And it got to a point where I'm like girl, you can't go to that shop no more, you got to find another one, cause I don't want them to think like I'm a low head, Right, but I was. I was very much addicted. That's, that's, that's just the truth, right, you got to name it Like this is what it is. Yeah, by that point, I was just like really sad. Honestly, I was really sad. I just was like you know, maybe I'm just going to do this for the rest of my life. I guess I guess it's just, this is a part of me now. Right, so this was January of 2022. All right, so let me tell you what happened, Cause, like I said, this was, it was a miracle.
Speaker 1:Let me give you some backstory on where I was in terms of, like, my spiritual life. I had a relationship with God. To an extent, I considered myself Christian, but was I living like a Christian? No, absolutely not, and I think there's a lot of reasons for that. But ultimately, I just wanted to follow. I just wanted to do what I wanted to do at the end of the day, right, that's just. That was the crux of it. And, yeah, but I would like you know, pray.
Speaker 1:I was a big. I am actually a big journaler. I'm a big journaler, so I journal a lot and I would always, like you know, just write down the things that I want from God and yeah, so that was kind of my relationship with him. It was very like low-key, it was a little transactional. It was very transactional. Actually, it was all the things God could do for me, never what I could do for God. So, yeah, but I think for me also, I didn't really have a full understanding of who even God was right, the God of the Bible, like who was Jesus? I don't know. Like low key, I was like how does this even work? How does that even make sense? I don't know. But I didn't think too hard about it. I would just, you know, pray my little prayers. I'll be like, hey, lord, I know I'm a sinner, but please, if you help me, the full gospel or just really understanding like who Jesus was, who the Holy Spirit is, like I just nobody really ever told me all of that, to be honest.
Speaker 1:So now we're going into February and I started working with a business coach Shout out to EC, shout out to EC. And one of the things that we were working on was not only figuring out what I wanted to do career-wise, but also just in my personal life, what were some of the goals that I had, and by this point, baby, I knew that I needed God. I just knew, like I, you know, I was at my wit's end. I would say right, not only am I dealing with burnout, I'm quite literally addicted to this drug. All right, you know, I feel like a zombie. My productivity is at an all time low, my creativity is shot, my brain is shot, my brain cells are shot. I just oh, it was just all bad and I was like I want to get closer to God. I don't know how I'm going to do it, but I want to get closer to God.
Speaker 1:So, with working with my coach, whenever I would set up a goal right, you had to think of just what steps that I could take that I was in control of. Right. Because a lot of times you will say you want to do this thing, but then we'll like create these markers for ourselves that we don't necessarily have control over. What does that mean? Let's say you say I wanna lose 50 pounds in three months. The goal shouldn't be to lose 50 pounds in three months. The goal should be to work out three to four times a week that you have control over right. You can actually go work out three to four times a week, you can eat healthy meals. 90% of the time, those things you have control over the weight loss and how much weight your body is kind of like gonna fluctuate. So the same thing with the personal goals. So I said I wanted to get closer to God. So she said, okay, how are you going to do that? And I said, well, maybe I can go to like a Christian conference, like every three months or something. So she says, okay, cool, this all has to do with how I got freed from. Yes, so stick with me.
Speaker 1:Now I'm telling you in January, I'm still like smoking almost every day. All of a sudden, I go out to dinner one day and I have oysters because I love oysters and I get food poisoning. I get food poisoning from the oysters and I literally did not eat for three days. I didn't eat for three days because, like my stomach was hurting, I was throwing up. It was really bad actually, and not realizing I was going on an involuntary fast. But because I didn't eat or anything for three days, I also didn't smoke for three days. So I was like, ooh, perfect, I haven't smoked for three days, so just keep not smoking. Ah, okay, okay. So we're starting over again. Right, I'm trying to quit again. So I make it nine days, nine days weed free, and then I break. I break and I had an edible again and I remember and I was like I remember, just at first I didn't, I didn't want to like, make myself feel disappointed, I was just like you know what it's fine, like this is what you want to do, you are grown, you could do this, it's basically legal anyway.
Speaker 1:Like you're fine. But I remember, just like after that I was like Like you're fine. But I remember, just like after that I was like girl, seriously, like I just felt so defeated, like dang, I'm really going to carry this thing into the next phase of my life, really. So by this point I'm just like you know what. I guess this is just a part of my life now I don't know what to do Fast forward.
Speaker 1:I go to the conference. It was at the end of February and at the conference I'm just like this is probably the first time I'm in a church setting. I don't remember the last time I was even in church. I grew up Catholic. So like I don't remember the last time I had gone to church, it had been years. So I'm in this you know conference and, funny enough, the conference was for college kids. But I'm just like hey, whatever. And I just say in my mind, right, because they're doing the whole you know, worship and praise.
Speaker 1:And I think for me, like my relationship or my experience with, just like church and Christianity, um, up until that point in my life, I knew there was a God, but like I didn't understand how like people seem to be very, um, very engaged in like worship sessions, Like people would raise up their hands and they'd be crying, and I'm like I just never really had that experience, right. So I kind of always felt like an outsider, but I knew like God was real. I just, but I couldn't prove it, I could not prove it, I couldn't prove it. So I literally said that in my head. I was just like you know what, god? I don't even know if you're real, I don't know if you're real. I am struggling, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do and if you're real, like I need you to like show up, because I don't know what to do. I'm at my wit's end.
Speaker 1:So I say that Friday that was the first day of the conference, and I say this in my head, I don't tell nobody the next day, saturday. You know, I'm a talker, I'm a yapper. So this man sits next to me and he actually ends up being a pastor and I just ask him about his story, like what's your story? And he's like you know, I was molested as a kid and I was addicted to cigarettes for a while and then Jesus saved me and I'm like what, whoa? Okay, like I was not expecting all of that, but just the fact that he one was so candid and open with me. I really appreciated that and I was like I wonder if this is a sign. I wonder if this is a sign. So, you know, I'm like hmm God, is this a sign? Should I talk to him? I don't know, but I, you know, I was like hey, I'm dealing with some stuff, I'd love to talk to you privately. And he was like absolutely so.
Speaker 1:By the end of that Saturday evening, after, like the event, we spoke privately and I kind of just told him everything that I was experiencing, including the fact that I was struggling with an addiction, and he's like your problem is really simple, excuse me, what do you mean? My problem is very simple. And he's like you haven't made Jesus Lord. He is not Lord of your life. You have made indulging in all the things that you love. All of those things are above God. You do not follow God. He's not your Lord. You need to make him number one in your life and that means you have to choose to follow him and that may come with some things, but as a follower of Jesus like need to pick up your cross Right you need to turn away from the life that you're living. That is not pleasing to him and you need to make your Lord. He is not number one in your life. I was like you got me there. You are so right and I knew it. I absolutely knew it Right. And it's not even like I told him that. I just knew in my mind like yeah, you're right.
Speaker 1:It was really interesting because, as he was talking to me, it actually felt like I was hearing from God for the first time. And I don't mean that in a super spiritual sense. Obviously this man is speaking to me just like I'm speaking to you right now, but what he was saying was speaking to my heart. Does that make sense? And I just knew it was God speaking to my heart. I knew in that moment that I had a choice to make right. And by this point I've tried everything. I'm making money that I never thought I'd make in my life, right? I tried all the drugs, I tried all the alcohol, I tried all the parties. I've tried it right. Nothing was working for me. So I said what do I have to lose? What do I have to lose? What do I have to lose from? At this point, let me follow God, you know. And I, it's like I could also feel and sense this like window of grace, if I, if, if I should say like it was almost like God was like extending his hand to me and saying hey, I'm here, would you like to choose me?
Speaker 1:I remember that evening, you know. I went home. Well, I was at a hotel, it was a conference in another state, and I wrote in my journal and writing is a very spiritual thing, by the way, like for me, like I always feel like there is this very spiritual experience happening when I write sometimes and quite literally, I think that's what happened, because I got home to the hotel and I remember, just like just writing right, all the things God, I choose you, you know what you got me. You can have me. And I remember writing in my journal today is the beginning of my new life. How did I know that? I don't know.
Speaker 1:But yeah, so I accepted Jesus into my life. I received the Holy Spirit. So that is also like a thing that happens when you accept Jesus as Lord, right, you also receive God's spirit, which is the Holy Spirit, cause, like he's holy and he's a spirit, holy Spirit, get it. Yeah, so I'm not even thinking. I mean, obviously I'm thinking about the fact that I'm addicted to weed, but like that wasn't even my, that wasn't even on my fact that I'm addicted to weed, but like that wasn't even my, that wasn't even on my mind anymore. It was just like you know what I'm just going to follow God. I don't know what it is going to entail for my life. I had no idea what I was getting myself into, but I knew that I was just going to follow God. That's just what I knew. Um, I knew that I had had an experience where I knew that he saw me and he knew me and I just was like you got me, lord. That's fine, I'm with you, right.
Speaker 1:So I get home and I just feel this inclination to throw out. All of you know my flower Mary Jane right, and not only the Mary Jane, but the utensils too, because any if you are a smoker or if you've ever been one, you know that even if you throw away the flower, sometimes you never throw away the utensils because you just cause then you'd have to buy it again, like you know what I mean. So for me to throw out the utensils was like a huge thing, cause I've definitely thrown out the flower many times, I flushed it down the toilet, I've done all the things. But yeah, so I throw everything out, amongst some other things. And I remember standing over the garbage can where it was in, and I hear in my spirit you're never going to pick this thing up again. And that was almost three and a half years ago. And when I tell you guys, the desire to smoke disappeared, I will never get over it.
Speaker 1:So I remember, okay, the first day I threw it out. And then I remember that night I went to sleep and the thing about smoking for me was I would always like if I was trying to quit, sleeping would always be the hardest part, because, I don't know, it became really hard to sleep without it. So I remember that first night I slept like a baby when I was, you know, in my apartment, and then the next day, I think it was like midday, I noticed like I hadn't thought about it and I was like, oh, wow, okay. Then day three comes, day four, two weeks pass and I'm like, oh my gosh, I haven't even thought about it. I haven't even thought about it and I could not believe it, like I couldn't. I was just like no way, no way, no way.
Speaker 1:This thing that I was struggling to quit for nine years. I'll never forget just the overwhelming peace that I felt, just like all the time after I had accepted Jesus into my life, and I really do feel like the um, the defining thing that also like caused a lot of this change was receiving the Holy Spirit. Now, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with accepting Jesus as Lord right, yes, you are absolutely saved but there is something about receiving the power of the Holy Spirit. Okay, and I'm sorry, if you are not Christian, you should listen anyway. But, baby, you should listen anyway. But, baby, I experienced the change, the transforming power. I experienced it and it was through, just like me, no longer just desiring the drug that I loved so much, right, that was so hard for me to let go of just completely disappeared.
Speaker 1:So that's why I say, like it was a complete miracle, I haven't, I don't know. I couldn't tell you what steps to take, and I wish I could. Honestly Well, actually I can't tell you what steps to take. Give your life to Jesus? No. But honestly, here's what I will say, though I will caveat by saying this because I know there are some of you, right, that have accepted Jesus into your life and some of you are still struggling. You may be struggling with this particularly, or something else, and you're probably wondering okay, well, why didn't Jesus heal me from that or this thing that I'm struggling with? And to that I want to say I don't know, actually, why God heals certain people of certain things and not others. Right, but I'm also somebody that, even though God miraculously healed me of this thing, right Addiction, there are also other things that I'm struggling with that he didn't heal and take away from me immediately. So for me, it's not a reason to believe that he's not real right or that he's not God.
Speaker 1:I find that everyone's situation is different. God is me. It's not a reason to believe that he's not real right or that he's not God. I find that everyone's situation is different. God is sovereign, right, he's all knowing, he knows what we need and if, for some reason, there's still something that you're struggling with, then it's one of those things that you're just going to have to keep going to the Lord about it. You know, and it actually reminds me of a verse in the Bible. Paul talks about the fact that there's a thorn in his side, right, but that thorn keeps him humble, it keeps him coming to Christ, right, it reminds him how much he needs Christ. And not to say that God wants you to suffer and struggle with certain things.
Speaker 1:But you know, honestly, I wish I could tell you, but, um, that this was my particular and personal experience and, um, I don't know, I feel like for me experiencing that level, like experiencing such a miracle like that in my own life, I like, till this day, sometimes I just cannot believe it. I already accepted Christ right at the conference and I knew that I was coming home and I was going to continue following Christ. But I think, just having that level of deliverance right, experiencing that miracle within my own personal life, that solidified my faith like that. That solidified it for me. So if you ever wonder why I'm on fire for the Lord, this is why he got me here Once. He did this for me and I didn't even, by this point, I wasn't even asking for it. In fact, I had accepted maybe I'm just going to be a smoker forever, whatever, you know. So the fact that it's like it's almost like he heard my prayers from all the years prior, you know, and it was just like wow, I couldn't believe it, I still can't, I still can't. So it was a complete and total miracle.
Speaker 1:And it's also one of those things where I know I can't go back to that day. Me, oh, no, no, no, you may be able to, I cannot, I cannot Because, again, there's certain things that you being able to come out of it was a miracle in itself. So for me to go back to it, it would take another miracle to come out. But there's a reason why it's a miracle because it doesn't happen very often, you know, and it makes me think about some people that, like, get clean off of drugs, right, like really hard drugs. You'll find a lot of times that when people go, if they end up relapsing and going back into that drug, they end up overdosing. You know that's what happened with Whitney Houston, like.
Speaker 1:So there's, for me it's really important to know the level and severity of something that you are dealing with, because, and again, it's really important to know the level and severity of something that you are dealing with because, and again, it's not going to be the same for every single person. That's why you got to know yourself, right, and I know that. I know I cannot touch that thing, and you know. But the beautiful and amazing thing about it is that there is no desire, like it's been three, almost three and a half years. I don't think about it. I'm not like you know what, i'ma just you know and I pray that God continues to keep me in it. I'ma just you know, and I pray that God continues to keep me in it, but I'm just, I'm thankful. So since then, right, since, I've been clean now for three, almost three and a half years. Now I just want to share some of the things that have happened since then, right.
Speaker 1:So one regulate my emotions a lot better. I can't believe this is the first time I'm saying this this whole video, one of the things that I was I didn't realize was happening when I was smoking, so much was. I was using Mary Jane as a way to regulate my emotions. So if I was like upset, I would smoke, right, if I'm happy I would smoke, if I'm sad, I smoke. So if I didn't smoke then it's like my emotions would be so high and it was hard to bring it back down. Does that make sense? And what was happening was I was becoming dependent on a substance instead of learning how to regulate naturally. So I've learned how to regulate my emotions a lot and also, you know, reading the Bible and just the renewing of my mind in that way has also been very like instrumental in this as well, and also learning tools from therapy. Even my family, my whole family, they're all like girl. I don't know what God you serving, but hey, it's working.
Speaker 1:Because I used to be a hothead. I told you I felt an overwhelming peace. I'm able to sit with myself again sober, and it's so sad that that is even like a thing for me to be able to be like. Oh my God, I just can sit with myself sober. But you may actually be able to relate if you're somebody that maybe like, at the end of the day, you need a glass of wine or something, right, like sometimes it's just hard, like you need something to just decompress, but now I'm able to just chill and be fine.
Speaker 1:Another major thing that happened was ideas started to come back to me. You know, I told you back in between 2019, 2020, 2021, I was experiencing a lot of burnout, and with that comes just like just a very big creative rut, right, and it's like God started reminding me of all the things and dreams that I used to have, right, the fact that I wanted to do a podcast one day, the fact that I wanted to have events, and just so many dreams that were buried started to come back to me, and he started to download even just new ideas. Not only do I have so many ideas again, I also dream. I dream again now. In fact, I didn't even realize I was a dreamer. I am such a dreamer and I guess the was like really suppressing, like how, like my sleep, right, I was in such a deep sleep that I would forget any dreams that I was having. Being able to dream again has been really cool because, my gosh guys, I've been experiencing the Lord in my dreams. It's crazy.
Speaker 1:I actually was recently diagnosed with ADHD and finding that out confirmed so much for me, because I always used to like not understand why I couldn't seem to get certain things done that I wanted to get done. So I've been learning about just like executive function and all of that stuff, so I'm able to get treatment for it, because now I'm not using other drugs to kind of suppress what I'm actually struggling with and because of that my productivity has skyrocketed. So that has been so amazing. Therapy has been amazing, right, because now that we've got the drug out the way, I can actually deal with the problems and the things that I was suppressing with drug abuse. So that's been amazing and so imperative in my healing journey.
Speaker 1:And that's, you know, that's my desire for all of us. I think we all deserve to heal, we all deserve to be whole, we all deserve to live a life of not just survival but thriving, right. So I commission you to fight for your joy, fight for your wellness. If you feel like there's certain habits you've picked up along the way, you better name that thing and stop that thing, because it really will follow you. It really will follow you, okay, there's just been so many amazing perks since, you know, being free of addiction and I'm just so grateful, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so grateful, so, so, so, so grateful.
Speaker 1:Y'all don't understand man, you don't understand. It was just, I was so thankful. It's like I got a second chance. It literally feels, and felt like, and still feels, like I've gotten a second chance at life. If you've never experienced it, it's kind of hard to understand. But if you have, then you know what it means to feel like you've gotten a second chance at life.
Speaker 1:And I think anybody that deals or has dealt with a level of addiction can also understand, because you don't realize how much addiction takes your mind. You know you're here, but you're not really here. So that's why I'm very empathetic to anybody that is struggling with drug addiction of any sort, because I know how much of a silent battle it is. So, yeah, so I'm just like, really I'm so grateful and it's the reason why I share so much about my faith and I want people to experience just the love. Ultimately, right, it's the, actually, it's the unconditional love of Christ that just gets me the mercy of it all, because maybe I was not living for the Lord, that's it, and for him to still be like. You know what? I'm here, like a father, like a dad right, like a parent. Even when you do wrong, you can still come back. That's my story.
Speaker 1:That is ultimately how I got freed from my addiction to Mary Jane and ultimately I just want this episode to be an encouragement to anybody. That is, you're just noticing habits that you've picked up along the way that may not be the best for you. It's okay to name whatever it is that you're experiencing, because you can't find a solution to something if you don't even think there's a problem in the first place and it just it starts really small. So if this could help even just one person, I'm okay with that. I am so okay with that because I know what it feels like to feel like you're drowning and nobody seems to see that you're drowning. So, yeah, please go get help. I will have resources and links down below to just help with drug addiction, mental health, all the things. But yeah, that's my story. That's my story.