I Guess I’m an Adult Now...
If you’ve ever felt like you’re just winging this whole “being an adult” thing… same. In a digital landscape filled with perfectly curated content, join Chizi Duru as she unpacks the messy, hilarious, and sometimes chaotic realities of growing up. From the lies we were told about adulthood to the sneaky ways trauma shows up in everyday life, nothing is off-limits. Expect deep convos, unfiltered rants, words of faith, wisdom, and the occasional mental breakdown (because, let’s be real we’ve all been there).
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I Guess I’m an Adult Now...
Am I still Christian? Navigating Religion as an Adult - Ep 12
Text us and share your adulting stories!
Three years ago, I had a life-changing encounter with Jesus Christ. Since then, I’ve been on a journey of faith — full of lessons, doubts, and hard truths.
In this episode, we're discussing whether I'm still a Christian, navigating religion as an Adult, and what faith really means to me.
If you’ve ever questioned your beliefs, struggled with organized religion, or tried to reconcile faith with adulthood, this one’s for you.
Chapters
0:00 – Intro
1:00 – How I Found Christ
3:40 – The Good Side of Christianity
6:30 – Miracles & Spiritual Gifts
11:00 – False Teachings
12:00 – Why Some Christians Struggle
14:00 – Falling Into False Teachings
21:00 – Prophecy, Manipulation & Money
26:30 – When the Church Feels Like Witchcraft
33:00 – Faith vs. Fear
38:00 – Relearning Simplicity
40:00 – Am I Still a Christian?
You can also listen on:
Apple:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/i-guess-im-an-adult-now/id1810057948
Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/show/6RTnICKr8KoafopcFoOLqR?si=ef446f1c3802432e
Catch up on:
The very first episode of Season 1 ⬇️
I’m Starting Life Over at 29 - Ep 01
https://youtu.be/rucAJBDkc3c
You might like ⬇️
An Honest Conversation with my African Dad on Addiction - Ep09
https://youtu.be/_j8TtWodLcc
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Hello, friends and family. Welcome back to the podcast. It is your girl Chizzy here, and we are going to be talking all about religion, spirituality, and navigating my faith walk. Okay. Um, if you guys do not know, uh, three years ago I had a life-changing encounter with the Lord Jesus Christ. I realized he was real, and since then I have surrendered. I have been following him ever since, and it's been an interesting three years. And today I really want to talk about the good, the bad, and the ugly about being a Christian. I'm always gonna do a disclaimer, okay? If you can't take different differing opinions, you know, some constructive criticism and just some conversations that invoke critical thinking, this conversation and episode probably will not be for you. It may ruffle your feathers, but I'm sorry. I'm actually not sorry. Sorry, but yeah, I think it's important to discuss things. Um, and it doesn't have to be the end all be all, right? People can have um just like different ideas of things. And also my experience is my experience. So I really want to just talk about what has gone on as I navigate my faith walk as a Christian publicly um and privately. So let's get into it. So if you follow me on Instagram, then you probably know that I have been navigating a very tough season in my life as a believer, a Christian, um, and just like dealing with all the things that come with Christianity, specifically people. People. I probably won't be getting into the specifics of like what happened with that sp uh situation, but it is, it does inform a lot of the things that I'll be sharing about today and just what I've experienced over the years as a Christian. So um, yeah, and I think for me, I want to share these things because I think it's important that you know some of you have insight into what I'm going through and also just to show that like you may not be alone. If this is something that you've experienced too, like we can all talk about it, you know. And if you are not even a Christian at all, right, it just gives you at least perspective and insight as to what possibly could go on as you if you ever decide um to, you know, follow Christ. Sidebar, I think it is so hilarious that religion and spirituality become such a major thing as you get older. Like whether you end up falling into a certain belief system or you come out of a belief system, like this is a major topic that happens in adulthood and you will see it constantly. I never thought like I would even be somebody that one openly talks about religion. Um, and two, I never thought I'd be somebody that would have an experience like I've had that would cause me to go deeper in Christianity because I I mean I grew up Christian, but like I wouldn't say I was like a strong practicing Christian, shall I say? And if you want to just get a little bit more insight onto just a little bit of my testimony, you can definitely listen to a past episode. I have, I think I have two or three actually that um share my testimony, how I came into Christ and all that. So check the description box, click it, go listen and watch away. Let's first get into the good about Christianity. Okay, let's start with the good. Let's start with the good. I think one of the coolest parts for me when it comes to just Christianity is knowing that God is real, knowing that Jesus is real, like knowing that it's not just this fantasy in my mind. I've had way too many expert, way too many experiences to deny that reality. You know what's so interesting? I'll look at maybe other religions or spiritual beliefs and they'll say the same thing. They'll be like, I know Allah is real. I said, Well, dang, well, but you know, I mean, I think that's the thing about life, right? But for me, like, I've had too many experiences. It's too much to even like get into. But I think from just the first one, right? Me just miraculously getting healed from my addiction to marijuana, like that, that will always blow my mind. Okay. But that was just the beginning. That was the first thing that like God did for me to show me, hey, I'm real. Okay, the Holy Spirit, Jesus, we we are real. It's so interesting because I didn't even pray for that, it just vanished. And I said, wow, that's crazy. Even to just like realizing um and and learning about spiritual gifts that I have now that I'm in Christ, like, first of all, if I had known, if I had known that getting closer to Christ would like unlock so many things within me, I would, I would have chosen sooner. Like, what? Like, so one of the gifts that I realized that I have is um the gift of dreaming, right? And none of like I I think I've always dreamt, but one of the things that I've said previously is like, you know, when I was um smoking heavily, I stopped dreaming, I guess because you sleep so deep. I don't know. Regardless, like now that I'm in Christ, and just the more that I seek him, the more that I dream. And I realize that my dreams, like, they're not just dreams. It be the Lord talking to me. And it's like, it's so insane. Like, I have had so many experiences where I have dreamt something and then it happens in real life, and I'm like, now wait a minute. Like, wait a minute, you know, and I'm still navigating it, I'm still learning it, um, understanding it. But that has been one of the coolest things that have come out of me just like following Christ. If I had known that you would be giving me the keys in my dreams, I would have chosen you sooner. Man, I I could go on and on, all right. But all I know is Jesus is real. So that's super dope, right? Because it gives me a confidence in what I'm um following, what I'm practicing, what I'm reading, and all that stuff. I think another great thing about Christianity is the fact that you just have a compass, right? You have a compass for life. The world is so big, it's so big. And the older you get, the bigger it becomes like it's just like dang, like you can go so many different ways, right? So it is really nice to have a navigation system um that I can follow and just some like guardrails that kind of keep me grounded and on track and give me peace and confidence to know that the direction that I'm going in is um is good and that the decisions that I'm making are like ultimately good. One scripture that I like completely live by and that gives me peace is um Romans 8.28. All things work together for those that love the Lord and are called according to his purpose. No matter what steps you take, right? Whether you make a mistake or this or that, like so long as you are called and you love the Lord, all of those things are gonna work together for your good. You know what I mean? And honestly, I've really seen that happen in my life. You know me, I was a little wow child. And it's just like to think that all of those steps that I made, whether I was, you know, I felt like I was making a good decision or not, it's like it all still led me to this place that is just beautiful. Um, so I absolutely love that. So I love the fact that there's just this like compass, this north star that I can always follow and go back to if I ever feel lost, confused, sad. Um, I just go back to what did God say? What does God say to do? Because it's all written in the Bible. And I'm like, it's so crazy. I never took the time to just read it. Once I read it, I said, Oh, so we do have a manual for life. How cool. Because I remember one of the things me and my friends used to joke about, like in high school and in college, I would always say, in this life, you don't have a manual. You're just kind of dropped into the world and told to figure it out. But it's like, no, you do have a manual. I just never bothered to open it up and read it. Those are some of the great things about Christianity that have really just improved my life. Um, and there's there's a lot more as well, but those are just some of the things that I can call out on the top of my mind. But, you know, I do want to get into some of the bad and ugly that I've experienced as a Christian. Let me just say this, right? The mind, our brain is so powerful. And what you believe in this life is everything. It is literally everything because that is what is going to inform all the decisions that you make. It's going to inform what you think is possible and what is not possible, right? And like if you tell yourself you can do something, you will be able to do it. And if you tell yourself you can't do something, like your brain, that's the information you've given your brain. So now you will not be able to do that thing. So it's like what you believe is everything. It shapes everything about your life, right? And I find that it's the same thing when it comes to religious doctrine. You really do have to be careful about the doctrines that you're taking in as a believer as you, you know, start walking and going to different churches and listening to other uh other people's interpretations of the Bible and stuff, because you need to know that that is ultimately shaping your beliefs, which is what's gonna shape your life. And it's going to shape what you can and cannot do. Whoa, Lord. It's actually really unfortunate because I've seen so many people like due to their beliefs and the religious doctrines that they take in and live by, it has completely limited their lives in like the worst ways possible. It's honestly so sad to see because I'm just like, yo, like you really, you just wasted your life. Like, oh my god. So, what you listen to can shape your view of God. Let's talk about that, right? How you read and interpret the Bible can shape your view of God and how you apply it to your life. Like, all of these things, they're just so important, they're so incredibly important. And just this is a learning lesson, real quick, real quick, real quick. I'm not a religious teacher. Oh, this is just what I've learned. Okay. When it comes to the Bible, two things you want to know, actually, three. One, you want to look for Christ in the Bible. That's how you read the Bible is you should be looking for Christ in it. You should be looking for Jesus in it. Okay. And then two, there's two ways to interpret the Bible when you read it. Like there's exegesis and eisegesis. Exegesis is when you uh whatever it says is what you take it as, essentially. Isegesis is you kind of read into the text. What does that mean? That means if it says, let's say it said, let there be light on earth, exegesis would say that means God made light on earth. Cool. Isegesis would say, so God said, Let there be light on earth, which means you're there must be light illuminated in you. See how you kind of added into it, but that's not what it actually said. That is an example of eisegesis. So these are just like these are the different ways in which a Bible can be interpreted and it complete and it can change the interpretation or the meaning of the text. And it's I think some sometimes people ask like, why are there so many different denominations in Christianity? Because of this reason, because people interpreted the Bible so differently. So that's one of the things that I've learned. I learned that pretty early on in my walk, thankfully, and it has really helped, honestly, with navigating just all the different sectors of Christianity and the things that can pop up, because it can get very confusing. It really can. And this is actually why I don't blame or judge people that don't want anything to do with Christianity, to be honest. Honestly, because from the outside looking in, even me as a believer, right, as a follower of Jesus Christ, like I thankfully I have a renewed and objective view of life in general and of religion and all the things, but I can see that people in religious communities tend to suffer the most, whether it's they're struggling with poverty and their finances, right? There's there's a lack of critical thinking sometimes. Actually, a lot of times, um, there seems to be a lack of basic empathy in you know a lot of Christian communities, and just like general human social skills, it don't be there. And it's like it looks like a little bit of a mess. And I can see why somebody would not want to be a part of that. I told y'all I'm gonna be honest. And if you if you can't take it, there's the time to click off because I'm I'm I'm going deeper. I see it so much. Um, I even think right now, in the the political climate that we're in right now, like it is a great example of just how oh lord, we can see just so many uh how do I even say it? We just see a lack of general like human empathy when it comes to from Christians sometimes. Yeah, and I feel like that's even more heightened online. And again, I'm not this is not just to shame necessarily like Christianity or the church. Technically, you're gonna have these issues in any type of community, right? Because as human beings, we are flawed, right? We're always gonna have differing views about things, how we interpret things are gonna be different. So this is always gonna happen no matter what. Um, but today I'm just talking about Christianity. But in the context of like religion specifically, Christianity, I think there are a lot of false teachings. I'm sure this can apply to other belief systems as well. I mean, the Bible warns about this, right? Like, there's always going to be like, what is it, the wolves in sheep's clothing and just like different teachings that you have to watch out for, and you really actually do have to be watchful for it. And I think why you have to be so watchful for different teachings that you can start to take in again, goes back to that main point of how your belief system is everything. So what you believe shapes everything about your life, right? And it can either help you or not help you. I actually ended up falling, oh my god, I can't believe I'm talking about this. Yay, finally. Um, I actually ended up falling into a lot of false teachings uh early on in the beginning of my walk. Um, it was about six, I want to say it was probably about six months in after I had accepted Christ. I didn't have a church home. So I, you know, wanted to find a church home because that's what they say. For if you become a new Christian, like you you need to find a church home so that you can get discipled and learn more about Christ and the Bible and Christianity and how to be more like Christ and live like him and all those things, right? So naturally, and oh, this is why God is so good. God is so, so, so good. Because one thing about the Lord, He's always going to warn you before something happens. And how he does that is always going to be different. But for me, I had a friend who um I actually had met her at the conference um that I got saved at. Um, she was actually, for the first like couple months that I was in Christ, she was actually like reading the Bible with me once a week. Like it was actually so sweet. Laura, love you. I remember there will be a couple of times, you know, you know, she would encourage me, you know, you want to definitely find a church home, but be careful. She was like, be careful because you know, not everybody teaches the same things. You want to be careful of some false teachings. Um, yeah. And I'll be like, okay, yeah, yeah, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. I always kept it at the back of my mind. So I'm like, there's no way I'm gonna fall into false teachings. But here's the thing: you don't know what you don't know. So, how do you know what to look out for if you you don't know what to look out for? I don't know everything about Christianity just yet. So, how am I supposed to know what is a false teaching and what is a right teaching? The amazing thing about God is nothing surprises him, right? So, everything that you're going through, one, he'll use it for his glory. Two, he already knows you're about to fall into death. And he's always gonna provide a way of escape for you. I am a testament to this because how I got out of what I got out of is a testimony. So, um, yeah, so she, you know, just warned me about, you know, different churches and just being careful, make sure it's like biblically sound, like it's based off of the Bible and things like that. You wanna look out for how they interpret the Bible, exegesis versus eisegesis, right? I didn't know those words beforehand, by the way, by this point. So when it comes to Christianity, I'm sure most of you know that there are many different denominations. You can go from the more conservative views where they're very Bible-based, right? It's just whatever the Bible says is what you go with, that's it. And then you can go all the way to the other side where it's like, um, it's what the Bible says, right? But we're also going to express that outwardly. Um, so maybe there's like the gifts. They believe that the gifts are still like active. Um, what does that mean? Like prophecy, speaking in tongues, dreams, which is still prophecy. Um, what are all some of the other gifts? There's other gifts, but things like that. Um, oh, there's prophets and there's apostles and there's evangelists and teachers and things like that. I'm I'm forgetting the names all of a sudden, but uh I kind of fell more into the charismatic space though. So that is where you're gonna see a lot of the gifts being expressed, whether it's prophecy speaking in tongues, um, visions, you know, there being prophets of the house, apostles, things like that. I think the other side is the more reformed space. So you're not gonna see the gifts really being expressed there because maybe they feel like everything that God has done has already been done. There doesn't need to be any like expression of the gifts anymore. So there's things like that. Anyway, so I fell into the more charismatic space, apostolic, Pentecostal. So I'm gonna be talking about my experience there. But again, I am not like saying that this one denomination is where all the issues are. Honestly, there's there's issues across the board, you know, because again, as humans, we have issues. We are flawed, we um are going to interpret things differently. Um, so I would say, you know, I'm I'm about to get into the charismatics problems, but I think on the reform side, you're gonna see more just like legalism more than anything, right? So it's like if you don't live by the book, you know, then you're going to hell and da-da-da-da. Like it's more of that. That's more legalism and you feel very constricted. Um, but I think the first thing that I really struggled with that just put a really bad taste in my mouth was people. And that's pretty natural, right? Um, just realizing how fickle people can be, even if they say they are a believer, right? And I think what heightened it for me as well is that I'm a public figure. So going into a church and trying to find a church home and enter this community of people and believers was a little tough for me because, you know, you're gonna deal with things like gossip and people saying things behind your back and things like that. I think one of the things that really disappointed me was just like realizing that, you know, things that maybe are supposed to be kept private between maybe you and a pastor or somebody that's a leader at a church. It's like they'll sit there and like gossip with other um members about what you're going through. Like, really, again, Jesus warns us about this, he he tells us that people are fickle and shoo, I'm fickle, you know, but it doesn't take away from just that feeling of disappointment, right? Just because we know something is gonna happen and maybe we're even warned about it um in God's word, like it doesn't take away the sting. You still gotta feel that. So that was one thing that I I really struggled with. Um, and honestly, it didn't even because some of the stuff I didn't learn about until like later. So it's like it's you kind of have to like I've had to process it over time and realize, oh wow, now I got a little bit of like church trauma that I'm like, okay, I can't, I have to work through this. Okay. I've had experiences where I've been in um what's it called? Like church, I've been a part of churches where they heavily emphasize on things like prophecy. And I am a believer in the gifts of the Holy Spirit. So I I believe in everything. Like whatever the Lord says is true and we can do in the Bible, I believe that it is possible. Okay. And I am a reciproc, I mean, I'm technically prophetic myself. Like I literally see things in my dreams and they happen. That's prophecy, okay? But um, you know, when you include people in things, you have to understand that there's always going to be some level of human error that's gonna come into play. So I have learned and realized that, like, while somebody may say God said, like you gotta take it with a grain of salt, especially when it comes to making major decisions in your life. Like you gotta understand that you are at the end of the day responsible and accountable for your own life, right? So if you take a word that somebody says about maybe what they believe God has for you, you have to make sure you're going back to the Lord, you're going back to the Bible, like weighing it out, and like ultimately you still gotta make a decision for yourself, you know. Um, and I have just been in very interesting situations where people have manipulated the use of prophecy to essentially like either get money out of me or like, you know, other members of the church. And it's interesting because again, you don't know what you don't know. So when it first started happening, I I'm thinking, oh, it's the Lord. The Lord said, drop this seed, so I'm gonna drop this seed. That's how you end up financially ruining yourself, you know? And it's like I've had to work through a lot of some of that verbiage and understand that at the end of the day, sometimes not everything is the Holy Spirit, sometimes it's emotion. Sometimes you need to exercise um self-control, discipline, not being all caught up in the hype of the moment in church and deciding that you are going to uh uh uh give your whole life savings to uh the church in so that God can bless you, you know. Like tick take a minute, think about it for real, you know. Um, so I've had some interesting, interesting experiences with that. First of all, the fact that nobody told me that witchcraft can happen in the church, that that blew my mind. That blew my mind. I told you I'm talking. I'm talking today. So sorry. That really confused me. That was a big one for me. So when it comes to God of the the God of the Bible, right? You have God the Father, you have Jesus the Son, you have the Holy Spirit, right? So the Holy Spirit essentially is God's spirit, right? It's the spirit that lives inside of us when you accept Jesus as Lord. Cool. And he guides you to all truth, da-da-da-da-da. Cool. So you can have the Holy Spirit, right? But just like there's God's spirit, there are other spirits. And this is where, you know, I believe at least, like other types of um religions and spiritualities come into play. And, you know, if you talk to anyone, maybe some of you guys are even like in some of these religions, like if you do something like another type of religion, there's another spirit that you're operating with and like worshiping and all of those things. Those spirits exist too. And I realize, like, everybody that says they're a Christian and that are in church and that may be like exercising maybe spiritual gifts, like prophecy visions, da-da-da-da-da. Not all of them are coming from the Holy Spirit. There's other spirits. It's so interesting because it's like, how do you navigate that? Like, how do you one, how do you discern that, like, is it is this the Holy Spirit or is this another spirit? But you know, the Bible does say that like you'll know them by their fruits. So it's gonna be a whole bunch of things that's going to let you know over time. And sometimes you won't be able to pick up on it right away. There's grace for that. And that's one of the things I like about God. Again, He's gonna provide a way of escape for you. So even if you don't recognize it now, one day He's gonna open your eyes. And I think what's important is that you have a heart posture with God where it's like ultimately you just want God. It's not about people, you know, because I think how sometimes we can end up in false teaching or witchcraft or divination in the church, all these other things, cults, right? Is that we're seeking approval from people. And it makes sense because we are human at the end of the day, or our own desires kind of get in the way. Maybe we want to know our future. You want to know this and that. So now you're enticed by ooh, this prophet is gonna tell me about which direction I should take in life. This is why we people go to psychics as well, you know. So you really do have to just like be careful and watchful of like your own desires, the traumas you've experienced, and how it can like open you up or make you susceptible to different types of false teachings, cultish behaviors, um, and just like uh unhealthy relationships with like spiritual leaders or authorities and things like that. That was a mouthful. I told you, I've been through some things. I feel like the last three years have been, it's been like a boot camp. Like, I feel like what I've experienced in my three years of Christianity, people like experienced over a lifetime of their wall as you know, as believers. So it's been a lot, to be honest. And sometimes I'm shocked that I am actually still a Christian. But I think what has really like kept me, honestly, is just one the genuine like simplicity of the first encounter that I had with Christ. It wasn't anything super like spiritual, it was so simple. And also, like, as I started reading the gospel, like the gospel more and more, right, in the Bible, I realized how simple God is, right? He just tells us to follow him, like just read his word, like that's it. Like, you know, and then each day you try more and more to just obey, you know, his commands and things like that. Like, God is very simple. And I found that like what started making it all complicated was when people started getting added into the mix. So, what has kept me honestly is just genuinely having a heart for Christ and just wanting what God wants for me. Like, that has kept me, you know. So even when I maybe started getting confused about like this whole prophecy stuff and this church thing and that, what I just did was I just pulled away from people and I go and I just asked God. I said, God, you gotta leave me. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. So I need you to kind of just show me the way, and that's where the Holy Spirit comes in. So that is honestly what has kept me over the years. Um, because it really has been a lot. I won't even lie to you. One of the other doctrines that I kind of fell into, the concept of like sowing seeds for blessings from God, and I know this one's gonna ruffle some of y'all feathers. Yes, it is, but we're just having dialogue, and also everything I'm saying is not Bible, like, or shall I say, it's not the gospel, right? This is just what I'm currently navigating, and these are my thoughts for it now. It may evolve. Okay, so I'm just sharing where I'm at and just the process and how I'm thinking through it all. But um, yeah, so I think one of the major things that you I saw in the charismatic space was just the concept of sowing seeds for blessings. And I guess the thought behind it is like, I don't even what are the scriptures they even use behind that to I don't I don't even know this. I'm trying to think, I'm um, I'm forgetting which scripture they use to kind of like emphasize why you should like sew to a church and they'll usually call it or to the altar, right? And they'll call it good ground. I don't I don't even know. You're solidifying what God says. Like it doesn't, it actually doesn't make sense. Like it doesn't make sense. And yo, let me say this, let me say this, let me say this, let me say this. I'm not saying you should never give to the church. I'm not saying you should never go into covenant with God when it comes to maybe your money or your lifestyle or your time. I'm not saying never do that. I'm saying that as a human being, you have to understand that people are fickle. And sometimes people will use something that is good, but there is an ulterior motive behind it. And they will take a scripture and use that, and basically it's weaponizing, right? Weaponize it so that you give so that they meet their quota for whatever they're trying to meet. I have seen people like so give ten thousand, twenty thousand dollars to churches, and we should be giving to the church, right? But not in a way that it's like you think you're going to get something from God out of it. Because you know what I realized when I really like I had to sit down one day and think about it, because one of the things God was teaching me was just this concept of like understanding that the money that I've um earned throughout my life and in my business and the blessings that he's blessed me with, right? Uh I I do think he was trying to teach me just the concept of like not feeling like it's just for myself, right? And holding it, right? You uh he was teaching me just this idea of giving, but giving doesn't only have to be to the church. You can give to the poor, you can give to people, you can invest in people, you can invest in other investments, things like that. I remember when like I really had to start thinking about like this concept of sewing, and I looked at one of the statements from like my giving statements from um a church. That I attended and I had sown so much money. I had sown so much money. When I say the numbers shocked me, and I said, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Because what I started doing was every time they would like bring up maybe something to sew about, maybe there was a prophecy that was given out, and they'll tell you to like sew into that prophecy so that that could be your testimony. See what I'm saying? Like, no, babe. No. But um, so I would write it down. So I went back and I looked at all of these things that I wrote down that I sewed into, and I looked at my life and I said, Why has none of those none of this stuff happened? Why has none of this stuff happened? And that's where like things can get mixed up. Now I'm looking at God like why you're not doing it for me. Did God actually ever say that? Or did people say that? And they used his word to try and justify it. So it's things like that. I also kind of thought about wait a minute, before I started getting into this whole sewing thing, right? And giving my money away and all this stuff, right? It was through hard work, being responsible with my finances that was able to where God was now able to kind of like bless me, you know what I mean, to for where I am now. But ultimately, it is really about like you have to put the work in, right? You can pray about, you pray about it, right? But you also have to put the work in, right? You you have to be prepared for the opportunities that come. One of the things that I think we can fall into as Christians is like thinking that, you know, okay, you don't have to work as hard. God is gonna provide. Like God is God is gonna bless it, right? You can do the bare minimum and and God will do the rest. And it's like, babe, you gotta work hard. Like you need to work hard, like you need to actually like put the work in. Like, you can't just rely on prayer alone, right? Faith without works is dead. Like you gotta have the faith part, the belief part that this will happen, right? That is important for your brain to recognize that it's possible. And then you gotta put the work in, and that's what'll make it happen. Yeah, I just I was thinking about that, and I'm like, I'm not sure if it's the so like, I don't think it's productive for me to be sewing into blessings. Plus, I never read that in the Bible. That was a major thing, and it actually put me in a really bad financial position at a point, and that's when I actually had to start like really like looking at things because I said, What's going on here? And I just turns out I was being a bad steward of my finances and I was sewing ridiculously without thinking about it and based off of emotion and not really checking if this is really the Holy Spirit. So there's that. This is gonna make some of y'all mad. But honestly, I think we should all try something, right? I'm not saying never give to the church. The church needs money, okay? But for a minute, stop sewing, pray, and then work diligently and strategically towards the things you are praying about. You're gonna watch the very things you pray about become a reality. And guess what? You didn't have to pay for it. Okay, that's all I'm saying. I'm not saying never give to the church. God says give to the poor, give to the church, give your if you want to give ties. I don't, I'm not here to like nitpick on you know different things, but I'm just saying, like, if you want to get my drift, you're gonna get it. If you don't want to get it, don't get it. There's so much, honestly. I can go on and on and on. I really can. I think another thing that I see happen a lot is just like a fear-based mindset. This is something that I was struggling with a lot. You can have a fear-based mindset a lot um sometimes when it comes to church. And it's I think it's because we're not like cultivating ourselves holistically. I think church has its place. God is in everything, obviously, right? But I'm talking about church. Church has its place, right? Then you've got school, then you've got like other things that are also going to develop you as a person and and develop your mindset as well, right? So it's like sometimes it's not everything, not sometimes, it's not everything you're gonna learn at church. Like some things you're going to have to pay a coach for, right? Some things you're when you if you want to go get a degree, you're not gonna go to church to get the degree, you're gonna go to a college institution, okay? So it's kind of that same way. And I and I've seen some people really limit their mindsets by only thinking of things from a spiritual matter or like through church, where it kind of just limits their lens on how they view life and it ends up stagnating their development. I just think as believers, it is really important to think critically, right? It is important to engage with different types of people, read different types of books. That way you are not like limiting yourself and you don't become ignorant to other people. And I think this is what I'm seeing online when it comes to just some of the discourse between Christians, non-Christians, and etc. Like some Christians can come off very, maybe the word is ignorant, unempathetic, because you need to read a book on human social skills, right? How to talk to people. Um, you can relay a message and you can have a bold belief too. It's nothing wrong with that. It's just at the end of the day, though, God tells us to love. He tells us to love one another, right? Treat your neighbor how you would want to be treated. I think if we keep all of those things in mind, it'll help us be just universally better people. Yeah. I think the last thing that I definitely am not a part of anymore, and nobody should ever call me for this thing is the covering doctrine. Don't ever in your life call me about that. That was one thing that I realized was severely limiting me in life. And I think there's two definitions of covering that are kind of going on right now. I'm really getting deep in it. Sorry. This some of y'all may check out, but it's okay. This is for who it's meant for. Basically, the covering doctrine is the the main one that I think I'm personally just not a believer in is the idea that like there is somebody that a spiritual authority that should be covering you. You know what's so funny? Because as I try to say it, it doesn't okay. Basically, like uh there should be a spiritual authority that is like above you, right? They're kind of helping disciple you, but they cover you in the fact that like their spiritual maturity protects you spiritually so that you don't get attacked. Like you see the confusion on my face. But the thing is, like at the time that I was learning about this, it made sense. It kind of made sense. I was like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you need somebody that's gonna be able to pray for you and like ward off any attacks. And I'm not talking about the intercession of people praying for you. Intercession prayer, that is a biblical, like that is shown in the Bible. Like, not only can people intercede for you, the Holy Spirit will intercede for you when you don't know what to pray about, right? But like this idea that like you can't basically let's say you want to go out and like preach the gospel, right? You need a covering so that when you go out, you're protected by their spiritual mantle. And it's like, so what's the point of the Holy Spirit? And where it gets bad is where people start feeling like or telling you that if you go out and don't do something or go against your covering, right? You won't be protected spiritually. That is not biblical, babe. That like what we have gone so far from you know the original message of Christ. So that was definitely something I had to get out of because that was really causing a very fear-based, limited mindset. I honestly didn't do a lot of things um the first couple of years after, I mean, like I feel like the first two years um after I gave my life to Christ, because I was just like under all of these types of teachings that kind of just made me fearful of like going out and stuff and and sharing and talking and doing the things that I've always been naturally gifted to do. I know some of you guys are definitely not gonna agree with me because I'm I'm sure many of you are, you know, under these types of teachings. And again, I'm not here to argue with you. I'm not here to tell you you're wrong. I'm just here to discuss what some of the things that I've experienced, what I think about it. Um, because I think critically thinking about things are important. Simple. That's all, you know, and I feel like honestly, if you get extremely upset when somebody questions or criticizes um a belief that you may have, I think that's an indication that there's something else going on. Because why are you this upset? Like them not believing what you believe actually doesn't affect you in any way. So it's like, why are you upset? You know? And I used to be this way. Oh my gosh. I remember one time somebody tried to say this prophet that I was listening to was false. You know how upset I got? I got so upset, and I feel like that is the number one sign to know that you are in witchcraft and idolatry. Yes. Because why are you this mad? Like this person is not your father, you know. So it's just different things like that. The last three years have been very intense. And, you know, I am at a point where I've had to just honestly take a step back from a lot of the stuff to just really kind of think through some of the things that I've to learned and realizing, you know, uh upon reflecting on some things, I realized okay, there's some things I definitely have to unlearn and just make sure that I have a very objective view of Christ that is just based off of his word. And I'm just at a point where I want to get back to the simplicity of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I just want to love God, I want to love people, and I want to obey his word, right? I want to obey his word, I want to turn from sin, I want to repent, I want to do all that stuff. That's where I'm at. But you know, I am obviously I'm still very much Christian. There's never, I can't deny the reality of Christ in my life. Like he's kept me in that way, right? Even when I feel like, man, I really do see why people just leave the faith completely. You know, there is just this like part of me that constantly yearns for him. And I know that that is just the Holy Spirit that just constantly is bringing me back to Christ. And I'm just like, thanks, Lord. Yeah, I enjoy God, very much annoyed by his people, but such is life where I'm always gonna have to deal with people no matter what, whether I'm a Christian or not, you you're always gonna have to deal with people. So it's just something I'm learning to navigate, right? I'm learning to accept the idea that even well-meaning people can hurt you, can disappoint you. That doesn't take away from who God is, and that doesn't have to be the truth about all people either. So that's how I'm navigating my faith walk. I feel like that was the biggest mouthful of all time. I am so interested to know what you guys think about all of this. Where are you? Um, when in when it comes to just navigating your walk with Christ. Um, are you walking with Christ? I want to know. I am so interested. Yeah, so let me know in the comments and that's it. I'ma see y'all next time.
