Breaking Taboos: A Deep Dive Into Women's Sexuality And Self-Discovery

Host April DeMille interviews Victoria Icenhower, who calls herself the “self-love scientist,” a public speaker on women’s sexual health, wellness, pleasure, intimacy, and relationships, as well as the host of the Love and Lattes podcast and a Pilates teacher. Victoria shares how she left a male-dominated corporate government/contracts job after burnout and an unhealthy environment, turned to yoga and life coaching, and began her own business in 2021 with coaching, yoga, workshops, and later public speaking. She describes uncovering trauma, people-pleasing, sexual shame, and relationship misalignment, including a divorce that led to losing her identity and rebuilding from a “blank canvas” through self-love and discovering what she truly wants.

Victoria explains her coaching approach, primarily one-on-one work, beginning with clients’ definitions of intimacy and sexuality and exploring how experiences (including religion or trauma) shaped their beliefs, then addressing common blocks like shame and difficulty using their voice. She discusses her six-year celibacy (October 2017–October 2023), including no self-pleasure, and how it began from fear and became limiting, contributing to financial and health challenges until she shifted her perspective, resumed dating, and entered a committed relationship. April and Victoria discuss the connection between sexual energy, confidence, finances, and communication, along with the importance of boundaries and self-romance.

They address common client themes like guilt and low self-worth when asking for needs, leading to unsatisfying experiences. They also explore communication in the bedroom, men’s insecurities, and concerns around toys. Victoria notes vibrator use hasn’t been proven to cause long-term desensitization, though overstimulation can create temporary sensitivity, and encourages learning pleasure without devices. The conversation also touches on pornography’s impact and mismatched expectations. Victoria shares where to find her online and closes by affirming that pleasure is a birthright and self-connection is foundational.

Victoria Icenhower is a self-love scientist, speaker, and coach who helps people reclaim confidence, redefine intimacy, and step into lives of pleasure and empowerment. After overcoming burnout, divorce, and reinvention, she now guides others through life’s transitions with self-love at the center through coaching, workshops, and her podcast Love & Lattes.

IG: victoria_icenhower
Email: Victoria.lotuslifestyle@gmail.com
Website: theselflovescientist.com

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Working with April 1:1