Nature's Healing Power And Overcoming Cult Trauma With Isabella Young

Host April DeMille introduces the Own Your Essence podcast and her private psychic medium readings and coaching, then interviews Kauai-based author Isabella Young. Young describes writing a memoir and her earlier books about humanity’s “enslavement,” mind control, and the importance of recognizing cult dynamics, which she says exist in families, relationships, institutions, and social movements. She shares practices she teaches for wellbeing: grounding by physically connecting to the earth, bringing nature indoors, consuming fresh “living” foods, and seeking natural light, including sun exposure and sun gazing, which she links to personal healing and consciousness shifts. Young recounts major traumas: an alcoholic narcissistic mother, the death of partner Barry, entering a California ashram-like group led by a narcissistic “second coming” figure, the death of her 15-year-old son, escaping the group after learning cult characteristics, and later losing contact with her children through parental estrangement. She discusses grief, trauma, and staying present, promotes her 1,800-page book The New Human of New Earth and self-publishing, and directs listeners to her Feeling Better Naturally YouTube/Substack and email.

Isabella Young is a pioneering educator, spiritual aspirant, and truth-seeker whose life journey is nothing short of extraordinary. From founding one of Australia’s first therapeutic Outdoor Education programs to surviving personal tragedy, cult entrapment, and profound loss, Isabella’s path has been one of deep transformation and radical awakening. Now thriving on Kauai, she shares her hard-earned wisdom through books, art, and natural medicines to help others reclaim their humanity, Dinivity, and sovereignty. Isabella offers raw and illuminating insights and effective practices for healing and empowerment through Nature, Truth, and unwavering spiritual resilience.

Email:Isabellayoung19@gmail.com
Website: www.feelingbetternaturally.love
YouTube: Feeling Better Naturally
https://youtube.com/@feelingbetternaturally.nature
Substack: https://feelingbetternaturally.substack.com/

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 1:00

Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of Own Your Essence Podcast, where we get to have deep transformational conversations with some of our favorite people. I am your host, April DeMille. For those of you that are seeking intuitive insight, I provide private psychic medium readings. These sessions are designed to bring clarity and direction across areas like money, career, relationships, family dynamics, spiritual evolution, and emotional well-being. If you are ready for a deeper, more personalized support, I offer private one-on-one coaching for those navigating grief, trauma, and the complexities of toxic relationship recovery. You can schedule a discovery call using the links provided to ensure it's a comfortable fit. You'll find all booking links in the show notes of every episode. And as always, thanks for tuning in. And today it is my pleasure to introduce our guest. Her name is Isabella Young. And Isabella is a nature lover and author from Kauai. So um I'm very inspired by Hawaii, actually. Um, so I am very excited to talk to her. Hi, Isabella. I was just giving out your little mini introduction, but if you want to tell our audience who you are and what you're doing uh in the world now, and then maybe we can get into who Isabella was before.

SPEAKER_02 2:33

Well, thank you, April. Thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to be a guest on your podcast. Thank you for all the work that you're doing to build a platform to give people an opportunity to share information, wisdom, medicines, techniques, tools, or whatever, because there's so many people are suffering right now. I really don't know anyone who's having an an easy time at the moment with what's going on on the world stage and what's going on in personal lives. So it's I'm very grateful for the opportunity to be able to share what I've learned from my experiences that hopefully can help other people like navigate through this time with more ease and uh less pain and suffering.

SPEAKER_01 3:16

Well, thank you, and thank you for being here. I know that uh we need all the help we can get from every light light bearer out there.

SPEAKER_02 3:25

So yeah, we do.

SPEAKER_01 3:26

Yeah. So Isabella, how um how are you showing up in the world? I know that you you do a lot to you know service the world around you and and help others heal. Um, so if you want to talk about that, and then maybe we can uh dial backwards and figure out what happened before the war. Like, you know, like before that transformation happened.

SPEAKER_02 3:50

Right now I'm uh writing an another book. It's a memoir this time rather than a nonfiction book. And that's an interesting process because it means I have to go back into my past, and that's not fun at all. I thought, oh, this will be a different experience writing, you know, some about my past, but it's it's no more fun than what I've written about before, which is basically about the the enslavement of humanity, you know, what's really happening on the on the global uh stage and how we are evolving as a species from darkness into light. And uh, you know, that's become I I just I can't not talk about that anymore. It really needs to be spoken about by as many people and as many platforms as possible because it's only when one knows that you're uh that you're in a a brainwashing situation, a mind control, a cult or whatever, that you can escape. Because if you have no awareness that you're actually being uh programmed and manipulated and you know, mindfuffed from birth, then escape's not possible. And that uh awareness has come through my own experience of of being in a cult. And then once I escaped, I realized, oh my god, you know, but what I experienced is just a microcosm of the macrocosm.

SPEAKER_00 5:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:18

So and I what I really appreciate is the fact that cults are being talked about more on it through a lot of different platforms. A lot of cult leaders are being exposed, a lot of ex-cult members are coming forth and talking about their experience, which is all well and good because there are cults everywhere, and cults aren't just in uh churches or uh spiritual groups or whatever. My family actually operated as a cult with my mother as the first cult leader. I've been in relationships with that operated like cult leader, cult member. There are cults in like um political parties and sports teams and country clubs and also social movements have are now cults. We've got the transgender movement and um you know a lot of fuckery like that. So it's important that people understand that if you don't understand that there are like infinite number of ways that we are being um the way that we think is being manipulated, then that it's that's it's a sad day because it's only those of us who know what's going on that we can then take action to you know move us forward out of this this uh slavery, this uh dystopian, you know, tech technocratic nightmare.

SPEAKER_01 6:30

So yeah, and you said a couple things that are really important to bring up. One, um without the awareness, you can't move the needle or shift the dynamic, right? We can't get out of the matrix if we don't even know about the matrix. Right, right. So if you're so if it's so normalized for you, then having awareness is foreign, completely foreign, right? Like you like what do you compare it to? Like you don't have any basis of comparison because that's all you know, right? Is the slavery, the program. And so it does require a lot of brave people, um, and even collectively to really uh spark the change in those movements uh for our ultimate freedom, right? Right, exactly.

SPEAKER_02 7:24

Yeah, that's that's the whole point. And and I don't know who, what, or what is controlling us, but it's definitely a subhuman, non-human, anti-human force of evil that has controls us basically from birth to to death. And to recognize that is terrifying, firstly, because then you think, oh my god, like what everything? Everything's part of the cult? Well, yes, it is. The education system, the medical system, the la the legal system, the politics, you know, science. Yes, they all play into keeping people uh under control, living in a you know, a uh limited way, certainly not reaching full potential as a divine human being. And it keeps us ignorant of the fact that we're being manipulated and controlled all the way along. And then there's you to understand that there are we you know, we can say, Oh, you know, here we are in America and the land of the free. Well, that's just so far from the truth. So you you know, there's a lot of, like you say, uh a lot of courage needs to, you know, be drawn upon to face the truth. And then like then what? Okay, so now I realize I'm living in a you know a slave system, then what am I gonna do? And that's I think then then we tune into our own intuition or connect and or connect with high power, guides, whatever it is, and then see what it is that is what's our role in this.

SPEAKER_00 8:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:56

So your role is one of them, providing a platform for people to share this information, and mine is to to write books. I also feel like one of the things that I can do every day on on the in the most simplest way is to be either neutral in with my energy or somewhat positive. You know, I don't have to be experience experiencing bliss or joy or whatever, because that's you know, that's all it's possible, but it's it's also very challenging in in this world. So if I can emanate either a neutral or a positive energy, then I'm contributing to to raising the frequency of the collective of the planet.

SPEAKER_01 9:36

I actually I was gonna say, I actually believe uh that the uh the most powerful moment is the present. So if that's what you're doing, is practicing presence and being grounded, that that is such a pivotal point. Yeah, yeah, just just being is the power. So um, and I think I think a lot of us are designed to just be in that way, and and a lot of us uh are designed to uh also serve, right? To serve outwardly, and and so it sounds like you're doing both.

SPEAKER_02 10:10

Yeah, that's that's my intention. I I heard the mantra uh uh like 40 years ago to heal and serve, and so that's really what I've what I'm still doing, yeah, to the best of my ability. And I also want to point out that when you say grounded, I'm talking about directly connected to the earth in terms of grounding. Like for me, nature's where it's at, especially now, especially how we've been disconnected from nature by wearing rubber sold shoes or living in cities or right, yeah, and and the sun's been demonized, like don't go out, you'll get cancer and die, you know. All that we've been basically disconnected from nature in physically and also in our hearts, which is so disempowering and sickening for human beings because we are nature, you know, we're not separate from nature, we are nature. So I spend a lot of time, uh I don't really wear shoes. Even at work, I don't wear shoes, I stay connected to the earth, and earth's a giant battery, so it's giving me the energy that I need, the electrons that I need, the uh recalibrating my nervous system because that gets pretty shot sometimes. So that's it's essential. That's not even a hippie woo-woo thing anymore. Okay, you can do grounding visualizations and you you can eat root vegetables, and it's important to actually do something like physically connect connecting your body to the earth. So sit with your back against a tree, touch plants when you walk past them. Obviously, not the poisonous thorny ones or whatever, but as you're going past, you can just brush past a plant. Even if you're in the city, you can do that. Put your hand against the bark of the tree. And then the the most um we're most uh receptive to the healing energies or the empowering energies or whatever when we're we're relaxed. So going and lying on the grass. Just take five minutes, no phones, nothing. Just go online the grass, watch the clouds, you know, close your eyes, meditate or whatever, and hold the awareness that you're receiving all it is that you need. You don't have to know what it is, you don't have to feel anything, but just trust that you are receiving what you need and then give thanks and then go, you know, go about your day. But that's really important every day to connect the physical body to the earth, especially electromagnetically, with all the dirty electricity and EMAPs and all that stuff, because we're very fine in our vibration, and it can easily be uh thrown off. Especially now we've got what I'm understanding is as you know, we're going through a a uh shift from let's call just darkness to light, or the age of Pisces into Aquarius, the Kali Yuga to the Dukpara Yuga. You know, we are going through a uh an upswing in in uh conscious evolution collectively and individually, yeah. And that is triggered by light. So the light that's coming through the sun, because the sun's a portal, so from the great Situal Sun, from the cosmos, whatever, that light is increasing in frequency, and that is evidenced by the Schumann resonance, which is a measurement of the Earth's frequency, usually at 7.83 hertz, and now it's I mean, it we're getting the like fifth-dimensional light coming in.

SPEAKER_00 13:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:25

So if we're going to go through these changes with the most ease and grace and not like suffer physically, then when if we're connected to the earth, we're going through the changes with the earth, as part of the earth, not as a separate entity. So sunlight is essential, especially because now most of us are getting our light from computer screens and fluorescent lights and all that, to be receiving sunlight in your eyes every day. I sungaze every morning, get that light which is evolutionary light, healing light, antidepressant light into my eyes through to my pineal and pituitary glands, and that that's an enormous uh um help for me. Expands my consciousness. That's how I was able to write my last book, receiving information from the sun. And then if you can't get the sunlight for whatever reason, you can get light from uh candlelight, firelight, the light that shines through prisms, the light that reflects off water when you see that sparkly light. You can look at that and get sunlight, moonlight, starlight, you know, any natural light. So that's that's key at the moment is to be receiving light. And you know, don't want to go out and fry yourself, obviously, but we do need sun on our skin in order for the body to then be able to function.

SPEAKER_01 14:46

I think that that's one of the uh we've actually it's been a topic in my in my household lately is um is you know how uh cut off I have felt from nature. Um, me personally, so I know everybody else experiences it too, but like um I don't handle my body does not handle severe, like uh extreme temperatures, especially with the hot in Texas. I can't do that. Like my body, it makes me flare up and actually get sick. And so I have gotten to a place where I work inside when I'm at home, I'm resting, so I'm not outside. Um, I'm not getting, except for traveling from point A to point B, I'm not getting the exposure I need um and the outside time because unless it's cold here in Texas, I'm never outside. Like basically from like uh June until October, I'm not outside because I hate my life and it's like a volcano here. Um so the only time I feel like I'm more immersed in nature is like when we travel and go, like we just got back from Utah, and I spent more time outside in the few days we were in Utah than I do in a whole fucking year in Texas.

SPEAKER_02 16:06

Right.

SPEAKER_01 16:07

And that breaks my soul, like it makes me so unhappy. Um, I do I still ground? Do am I immersed in water all the time? Am I doing other practices? Sure, but it's just not the same thing as being able to feel the freedom and really be like joined with nature when you're out in it. Right. Well, you can spend time out uh outside at night, yeah, yeah, and I do, I do whatever chance I get, but um, and I I prefer the night because of that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:43

And then the other thing that I do when I lived in the more in the city was I bought nature indoors. So I have a lot of plants indoors. It's you know a bit like a jungle in here. I also um uh do aromatherapy so I can do pine or I do all that too.

SPEAKER_01 17:01

So that's those things have helped a ton because I have all of that. Yeah, they really do.

SPEAKER_02 17:07

And the other the other one that I did a lot was I played nature sounds.

SPEAKER_01 17:11

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:12

YouTube videos. So whatever that was, whatever felt like, whether it was falling rain or jungle sounds or waterfalls, yeah, dolphins, whatever it is, because that that's the like that's food for our soul, yeah, food for our food for our body, and it's really important to do that in addition to eating um living foods. So I'm here in Hawaii, I get a lot of uh fresh foods to eat, yeah, and that really helps to vitalize the body with the energies of nature. I sprout sprouts, which anyone can do, that's the easiest thing. Just a jar with some sprouts, whatever you want, lentils, mung beans, whatever. Cook them in water, put a cloth over the top, then you can just rinse them out and sprout them on the sink, and that gives you the the energy of like life force energy that that comes through nature. So there are ways that we can bring nature indoors even if we can't get out.

SPEAKER_01 18:03

Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_02 18:05

I know there's this experiment done where they had it was in a hospital and they had one of the corridors, had pictures of plants along the walls, and people chose to, without even really thinking, they would walk along those paths. People who had views out windows healed better than people that stared at brick walls. So it's such an important part of our our well-being.

SPEAKER_01 18:25

It is one of one of my daily practices, like I have to sleep in like a black dark cave and it has to be freezing for me to sleep well. But the first thing I do in the morning is I open like I have a huge window with this beautiful view. And in order for me to like um get my day started, I have to open these big blackout curtains and all the sun just kind of comes pouring in. And I will literally lay there in the sunlight, right there at the edge of my bed, um, for like 20, 20 minutes, 45 minutes before I even start my day.

SPEAKER_02 19:03

That's what a perfect way to start the day.

SPEAKER_01 19:05

Totally.

SPEAKER_02 19:06

I'm especially like greeting greeting the sun too. That's it. Yeah. And I when I uh sungaze, I uh giving thanks to the sun and yeah, and just really appreciating the sun for its role in in keeping me alive, basically.

SPEAKER_01 19:23

Yeah, if that's all I can do is to soak in the sun through, you know, safely through the windows so it's not 900 degrees on my skin, then I'm gonna do that. Right. Yeah, yeah. So uh, so can we talk a little bit about who Isabella was before? Um who you are now and what you're offering. Like, how did you get here?

SPEAKER_02 19:49

Well, I got here on it was it's been there's been a lot of shit that I've had to deal with in my life. Yeah. Um my like I said, my mother was my first cult leader. She had had was an alcoholic with a narcissistic personality disorder, and I was the I've only learned about this afterwards. I'm still studying it, but I was labeled, I was the black sheep, the scapegoat, the eldest daughter, and she basically um I've had that same role, so I totally get it. It's hell, it really is hell. It takes a lot of time to heal from. I didn't have self-love, I didn't have boundaries, and I ended up oh, I uh met the man who I uh had children with, and he was a lot older than me. I had daddy issues and all that, whatever. But anyway, he was a fabulous uh human being, and we had a wonderful uh connection. He my mother was also a devout atheist. She was actually a militant atheist, and she believed anyone who believed in God was like a subhuman, not worth you know, not worth your time. So I grew up feeling kind of superior to other people, and it wasn't until I met Barry that uh he gave me some books to read, like uh autobiography of a yogi, and he'd already he was a warrior in the physical sense of the word. He did 4-2 as a Vietnam and was a mountaineer and lived a big, you know, big life like that. But he also had his spiritual awakenings and we sort of dovetailed, did meditation together. We did Tantra, we did shamanic journeying, and started living a uh my dream on some land with fruit trees and chickens and all that. And I was three months pregnant with our second child when he went off to work. We both worked in outdoor education using outdoor adventure activities for either team building in the corporate world, or for me it was uh with young people who had their first mental health diagnosis. Okay, and so he went off to work with his new company and whatever, and I got a knock on the door at 10 o'clock in the morning from a neighbor and the cop, and they told me that he'd been found dead in his car. So I'm like, oh fuck, you know, my whole dream's gone. I knew you know my soulmates gone. Uh I not growing old with anyone on any porches, no, no, then I I wanted out, I didn't even want to live anymore. But I was pregnant and I had a uh three-year-old, so I really needed to stay alive for them. So I spent a lot of time trying to find a place that felt like home. Yeah, and I traveled around a lot. I ended up in a a community outside of Melbourne, and I did a shamanic journey course where I had a massive out-of-body experience, and I met Barry during that experience and other beings who directed me to go and start training with this individual who I'd heard about but I'd never met before. At that time, he was promoting himself as the a trans channel. He was a failed actor out of Hollywood and whatever, and he invited me to come to his ashram in California, which I did. And um we got married pretty quickly, and I got pregnant pretty quickly, and we had a child, and we were living in his community in. In Southern California. And from the outside, it looked like a sort of normal family home or whatever, but it was hell. It was absolute nightmare. This guy then announced himself as the second coming, you know, the Maitreya, the one to save humanity. Yeah.

unknown 23:16

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 23:16

Right. And I was the wife of Christ. And so was he schizophrenic? Was he no, just narcissistic personality disorder and demon-possessed as well. So uh that was that was horrible experience. I didn't know how to get out. I was I felt trapped by the fact that we had a child together and he wouldn't let me leave with her. And also he the biggest one he had over me was he knew my spiritual path is my main reason for breathing. And he said if I left him, I would be turning my back on God, you know, on my purpose, and I'd traveled thousands of lifetimes to get to him. So that really kept me trapped until um uh my son was found dead behind the house, and that was blamed on me. It was blamed that he said he was gay and I wouldn't accept it until he'd taken his life. Can you which which son? My oldest son. Your first son with Barry. No, my that was Barry was my son's father. Okay. That's what I mean.

SPEAKER_01 24:27

Like your first son from Barry. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, correct. Correct. So you've lost Barry and now you've lost your son. How old was he? 15.

SPEAKER_02 24:36

Yeah, I'm so sorry. And once again, I just I wanted out, you know. Yeah, I know. I uh I totally want to live. But I thought I had um I had two children once again and didn't feel it was fair to them to have to experience the life without a mother or a a mother who'd taken herself out. I didn't feel that they uh deserved that. So I like went from breath to breath for about six months until I knew I needed help, and I knew it couldn't come from a psychologist or a psychiatrist. I knew I needed to speak to someone who had an understanding more of the spiritual nature of life. So I went to see this guy who'd been the cult counselor for many years, and he'd left. He'd had his own epiphany. And when I walked in the door, he said, I knew you'd come and see me one day because I never went during the cult days. I was actually a pretty disobedient disciple. You know, I got into a lot of a lot of punishments for my disobedience, and one of them was I didn't go to see this guy until after my son was, I'm gonna say, murdered, allegedly. And uh he he said, You know you're in a cult, don't you? And I said, No, I didn't know I was in a cult. I thought I was in an ashram with my guru. And he said, Go home and Google cult characteristics. So there's the checklist. Charismatic leader who's the arbitrator of truth who controls everyone's everything from what they eat, when they sleep, who they're with, who they have sex with, who they don't have sex with, where they work, when they go on holidays. Everything's controlled, and then there's no accountability on behalf of that that person can do, say whatever they want, and it it's uh never their responsibility, never their fault, because they're perfect.

SPEAKER_00 26:16

Right.

SPEAKER_02 26:16

And then there's the I learn about love bombing, because I went from the wife of Christ to the Antichrist. There's the hate bombing. I'm the worst mother in the world.

SPEAKER_01 26:25

Well, it's discard, it's the discard phase. Devalue, discard. That's what it is. You love bomb, and if they don't uh appease you, then you devalue and discard.

SPEAKER_02 26:35

And then you get trauma bonded, and then you you know big mess. Then there's I learn about gaslighting. He he he this guy's a failed actor, so he's gaslighting everybody all the time, right?

SPEAKER_01 26:47

Because he's gaslighting himself too.

SPEAKER_02 26:49

Yeah, yeah. And I so I came to learn it was all well and good for me to say, oh well, he's uh he's got the narcissistic personality disorder, but what did that mean about me? Why had I got into a relationship with him? And I learned that narcissistic personality disorder and what it is being called like codependent tendencies, which is looking outside self for love, they're both rooted in lack of self-love. Right, which the the narcissist starts in our childhood home. Yeah, yeah. Starts in childhood, so his his lack of self-love manifests as him pretending to be the one to save humanity, so he gets adored and praised and all that.

SPEAKER_01 27:29

That's called it's called grandiose uh narcissism. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:34

He didn't he we went to see at some point we had to see a psychiatrist when we do in the child uh custody battle, and he wasn't even diagnosed with a narcissistic personality disorder, which I thought was outrageous because it's such a classic case. So, anyway, once I learned I was in a cult, then I realized I had to get out and uh I I didn't even want to stay in the States anymore. And I I think he finally let me go because he knew he was gonna have another death on his hands because I couldn't, I just couldn't stay there any longer. And my parents apparently they were divorced long ago, but they went to see a cult expert within a year of me leaving Australia, so this is like eight years before all this happened, and they never said anything, which is why I said earlier on that it's it's important to know about being in a cult. Apparently, experts say, Oh, don't tell someone they're in a cult because you just drive them further in and they'll then you lose your relationship. But there has to be ways other than just saying, Oh, you know you're in a cult, don't you? Like you could present for me, I could have had photographic evidence of this guy because we ended up in a celibate marriage, but I wasn't he wasn't celibate. He he's the one raping the men, the men, grooming the boys, you know, he's a pedophile, all that gets unearthed. And um oh, it's just so horrible. Anyway, I uh escaped and then started learning about narcissism, narcissistic personality disorder, codependency, then I'm learning about cults and studying how cults operate. I'm learning about mind control, brainwashing, and like I said, then I was able to see, hey, wait a minute, you know, this isn't just a one-off experience of me and the cult, I can see how it's operating on the on the larger scale. So that's pretty much a summary of of uh where I am now. Basically, the last I haven't really talked, I didn't talk about what happened to me. It took me like 15 years to even speak about it because I was still making sense of it. I'm still finding out stuff.

SPEAKER_01 29:40

Yeah. Now well, that's fair because also it's really hard to give a voice when you're still unpacking the layers. It's really hard to feel like you have a stable ground to stand on when it's still fucking crumbling under your feet. And and I say that because I've also lost a child, and I've also experienced probably all very similar torments. Um, and I I think the difference when I hear your story and mine is you thought to yourself, well, I have other kids, I need to keep going. I did not have that thought. I thought to myself, I have other kids and they'd be better off without me. Because fuck this. Like, and I having the thought of, oh, I need to do better for other people, was actually what was hurting me. It was another pressure that I didn't need when I was trying so hard to keep my head above water to begin with. And so um, those pressures were the things that I had to unhook from just so I could even figure out how to stand up again. And and it was excruciating because you don't just lose your kid. You didn't just lose your husband and and the kid, and and then you lost yourself, and then you lost everything that was attached to these ideas of what life should look like. You lose fucking everything, even your other kids that are still with you, you also lose them in a massive sense, and then you have to somehow figure out a way to piece things back together and make sense, and that's like, where does that even fucking come from?

SPEAKER_02 31:25

Right, yeah, it's crazy. It is crazy because that I actually have lost all my children now. Um, we were talking about uh cults being social movements, yeah. I'm learning about this cult of parental estrangement, yeah. It's actually it's it's it's a massive thing, it's a massive thing. It's a massive thing. I had no idea. I thought it was just me. I thought, oh yeah, I'm a big fucked up person, I've made bad decisions, no wonder my kids don't want anything to do with me. Then I realized like one in four families in America are being affected by parental estrangement, yeah, and it's such an evil thing, it's such it's it's awful, it's completely rotting society from the inside out, like most of the other strategies that that are being used to totally fuck with humanity. Yeah. But this parental estrangement, it's such it hurts. I mean, I so I'm a childless mother. I have nowhere for that motherly love to go. Right. I have I got a cat, I look after plants, I make food and give to people, but there's I don't I'm a a grandmother without grandchildren. I don't have that, I don't have really anything like that to uh like family things to look forward to. There's I I don't know more grief to celebrate more grief is yeah, grief on top of grief, just layers of it. I uh go ahead. I just want to say the irony of it that I've I stayed alive for my daughters, right? And they've chose they've now chosen to be motherless, they've made themselves orphans, like that that irony just pisses me off because I couldn't do no you're like I could have stopped suffering ages ago, right? You're like yeah, and that and then they're they're sorry, I just want to put this point in. So their criticism of me is that I got into a cult, and that's what they're in. They're in the cult of parental estrangement, being supported online, told that, oh yeah, protect your peace, your parents are toxic, they're narcissists, you know, you're doing the right thing. Like, good on you. Meanwhile, there's no gap, there's no place for any type of healing, there's no place for any type of reconciliation, no place for any emotional maturity or or growth or anything. And I mean, maybe time apart is necessary for some healing, but really But you know what I can tell you about this is it comes full circle.

SPEAKER_01 33:47

They will come back.

SPEAKER_02 33:49

They will well, I don't I don't know that they will. I really don't, because they were both brainwashed by the cult leaders, but you were brainwashed too, and you came back, right?

SPEAKER_01 33:57

So but I wasn't brainwashed to hate my mother, true, but what I mean is is there everything in as far as I've experienced comes full circle. I um I can share a quick story with you where my youngest daughter now, uh, she is 19, and her dad's family was or was is Mormon. Um, and and typically, generally, I actually have a lot of fondness for the Mormon community, even though I'm a lot more anti-religion. Um, but the uh the stepmom that came into her life like always just despised me and had issues, you know, towards me and all the things. And that family had uh practiced parental alienation against the judges, against the paperwork. They did not give a fuck. They didn't care how much it hurt her. Uh, she was taught to doubt herself, she was taught to hide her uh her affections towards me. And if she had fun, it was looked down upon. Any way that they could um try to harm our connection, it was supported and and and attacked in every way possible. And what ended up happening is as much as that killed me, and I was already going through so much after the death of a child, like the last thing I needed was to lose another child. But that was what was happening, right? The wedge got bigger and bigger. What ended up happening um was was the full circle moment where I just had to like, I was like, okay, I just have to, she has a path too, and I have to just like let her figure this out. I can only be here when she allows that, and she has to kind of figure that some of this out on her own. And that's what happened. Um, and a year ago, uh in July, she moved in with me full-time. And she's been here since then, and she has learned how to use her voice, she has learned how to regulate, she has learned what safety and peace looks like, where she never felt that in her body living at her dad's house. Um, and she has a very strange relationship with them now. So, I what I mean is I feel like there are moments where full circles definitely happen. And I'm hoping that you get that first full circle moment too.

SPEAKER_02 37:11

Thank you, and thank you for sharing that story. I'm so happy for you that you're able to uh heal with your daughter. That's so um oh, there's no there are no words for that. I I can only imagine. It's I can only imagine. I I hope from I heard another story from a friend of mine whose husband was alienated from his children when that they got divorced, the kids are about 12 or whatever, and he thought, oh, well, they'll come around when they're adults, and they never did. In fact, they stayed hostile and whatever. Yeah, and it was only when their children, so his grandchildren alienated or estranged their their his sons. So now, you know, and and now the sons are coming to the the father. They're learning they they're now learning, they're going, I was a real diff, I realized what I did because so my daughters are modeling to their children how to cope with differences of opinion, different worldviews, you know, di hurt feelings or whatever. They're they're modeling that you just you run, you ditch the relationship that like there's nothing to be gained here other than just burn the whole thing to the ground. And that's a very you know, kids learn from what they see, right? So they're really playing with fire.

SPEAKER_01 38:25

Yeah, they really are. And that's what I always say too. It's kind of like one of my mottos is people dig their own holes, let them do it. Let them do it. Um, because at the end of this, uh, you know, again, her parents, the other parents were they weren't parents I could co-parent with without being abused, also. Like I was also being abused by them. Um, and at the end of that story, they were they spent so much energy trying to put the wedge there that that's what actually pushed them away, pushed them almost, they're doing it to themselves. And so I just go, let them, let them do it, let them do it.

SPEAKER_02 39:03

Yeah, it's a it's a pain so much pain in uh family relationships when they when they are toxic. And it and it carries on, you know, like there's multi-generational trauma now. And the irony is that I remember before I had children, I knew that there was a toxic lineage in my family, especially the in the mother line.

SPEAKER_01 39:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 39:24

And I thought, I'm gonna I'm gonna be the one, I'm gonna break this pattern.

SPEAKER_01 39:30

Well, you and you are you're that's what I don't know. I think I've made it worse. I don't I don't think so because your story's not over. Yeah, that's true. Your story's not over, and look at what you're doing to put yourself out there and heal so many others. That is what heals the mother line and what brings the things full circle, even if it doesn't feel so possible right now, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 39:55

It's still pretty raw.

SPEAKER_01 39:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 39:58

But that's that's fair.

SPEAKER_01 40:00

That's fair to say because, like uh even just a year ago, it was really raw for me still, right? Like uh, I was still being, you know, the alienation was being practiced in every conversation. I could she my could my kid couldn't even call or text me without retaliation.

SPEAKER_00 40:19

Oh god.

SPEAKER_01 40:20

It was disgusting, and then they got to a point where they were putting apps on her phone so she couldn't even privately have conversations with me. It was awful, like the level of disgust, disconnection, and lack of care for her actual well-being was putrid on every level, just psychotic.

SPEAKER_00 40:42

Right, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:43

So for her to be out of that now and finally feel what it's like to feel safe in her body and safe in her environment, I've seen her, I've seen a completely different version of her be born. Well, she's home with mom now, so yeah, it's good, but I love that you're still giving that, you're still also giving that to other people, um, even if you don't feel like it's being recognized.

SPEAKER_02 41:12

Yeah, I I feel a lot of shame around it, actually. And I think that's one of the purposes of the whole thing is to keep us feeling shame and guilt and all that, because yeah, I I I don't really like talking about it because it usually the response from most people, unless they've been through this situation, is what you must have done something as a parent. No, you know, no, and people are so quick to blame the parents, and and the irony is that well, often parents are the ones to blame, but with this whole estrangement movement, yeah, it's it's really the focus needs to be on well, what are the adult children, you know, what are they doing, what are they learning? Where's their you know, forgiveness for mistakes that were made? Like are they are they gonna be now never forgiven for their mistakes? It's it's a real line buff, another one, but yeah, it is.

SPEAKER_01 42:04

And also, you know, there is uh I think it's natural and normal for people to want to seek and find the labels and the understanding and the definitions for here's what has happened to me, and that's okay. That's how they become aware too. But the other part of that is if you don't stay in that, right? There's another part of that story, and that's finding connection and how to be kind and respectful, even when there's differences, right? I don't have necessarily have the closest relationship with my biological dad, but I'm also I don't like let him mistreat me. Uh, I've gotten really good about those boundaries, but I also love and adore him still, and we are finding ways to still have a connection even when it's hard. And and I think that that's the piece where maybe those younger adult children aren't, they don't have that maturity yet, but it will come. You know what I mean? That's the hope, right? Is that that's the hope. Yeah, is that the the other layers to that will come. Um, yeah. Cult entrapment, man, that's such a wild subject, but it's so like it is uh, you know, I feel like like you said, uh you said it best, like it's kind of everywhere. It's just the program, it's the program running in the matrix, and it's uh it's unfortunate. Um I know you said you also are you're an author, right? Uh, your book, do you have it with you? I want to do, yeah. This is my book. Oh, look at that.

SPEAKER_02 43:50

New human of new earth. That is gorgeous, ridiculously long. It's about eight hundred pages. That's like a fucking encyclopedia, not a book. It's a it's a doorstop, mate. It is like a dang, how long did it take you to write that thing? It took seven years. Wow, but I did I started it. Yeah. I actually thought I was gonna be writing about grounding, and uh so I started writing about grounding that just continued on into learning about the benefits of sun gazing and all that. Yeah, and then when the when the scandemic started, I just knew that there was this other I I don't haven't really felt comfortable with using these words before, but the only way to describe it is there was a book coming in, it was a download, and I just had to start writing another book. That's how it works. And that took me eight months, and it's a lot shorter, but it's basically a summary. I was basically like, please, you know, re recognize what's going on right now because it's not what you've been told is going on. Yeah, and then uh and the other part of the book is a vision for the you know the for the future of humanity when we are living in harmony with each other and with nature and all the bullshit, all the evils not uh playing a part of our lives anymore. So once that was uh that book got published, then I went back to writing this other book and finished it about a year ago. But it's so it's such a good book, it's got all hundreds of natural medicines that can be found in nature, right from crystal medicine to tree touching to you know, herbal medicine, bark flower essences, all the it just a reminder that there are hundreds of natural medicines in nature that are there for us to use and to optimize our physical health and our mental health. Then there's also at the that we've got technologies in our bodies, we have our voice, we have our breath, we have our movement, and there Are also some very refined, uh, like barely physiological processes that happen within the human body that can uh restore us, and the yogis have used it in the past to live a hundred years and whatever. So I talk it's called raising the chrism. Okay, it's aligned with the the uh the moon phase that the sun was in when we were born. It's too long to go into now. But if you if someone's interested, it's called raising the chrism or the sacred secretion, and there are a few teachers of that online.

SPEAKER_01 46:20

Is it I I know it's about lunar phases, but also is it like crystal grid grid work as well, or is it I haven't done it with the crystal grid work.

SPEAKER_02 46:29

I it's just a process that lasts for about five days within all of our bodies and uh and that happens uh organically, okay, but it can be destroyed really easily by um uh like alcohol or street drugs or anger or whatever. So if you just stay in a peaceful place, the process can go on and help to heal and um rejuvenate and basically give us like the light of the world, they say. You say raising raising the chrism. C H R I S M or the sacred secretion. Okay, okay. So I talk about the body technologies that we've that we can uh use to help us feel better, and then the technologies like spiritual technologies, there's prayer and meditation and mantras and yantras and yeah uh things like that. Just it's so it's a reminder really of all the medicines, not all of them, many of the medicines that are available to us that are often overlooked, considered too like hippie woo-woo stuff or too simple to matter, but they're really they're powerful tools. They're safe, they're effective, they're free. Anyone can access them and use them at any time. You don't need any, you know, special anything.

SPEAKER_01 47:46

So it's like a whole it's like just your beginning to end holistic guide, and and there's all the tips, tricks, skills, tools.

SPEAKER_02 47:54

Right. Um and a reminder that we're not doing this alone. We have the support of countless beings of love and light. That's something to remember. It's not just us uh down here on earth trying to figure shit out. No, we have the support, the guidance, the blessings, the love and light of beings, because we are being like observed.

SPEAKER_01 48:14

Yeah, we have a whole galactic galactic federation watching over us.

SPEAKER_02 48:19

Exactly, and without their permission to help, so uh you know, you can invite them in and uh and then they can help because they can't override free will, and then there's another part too is how to protect oneself from evil entities because they're out there too, and they can appear as benevolent beings and they're not, and they'll you know, fuck you up, they'll take your attention away or lead you down a wrong path or whatever. So there's uh I've written about how to stay protected, and the most effective way is to embody light, practice sun gazing because the light is darkness can't exist where there's light. So the more light we are, the more light we embody. You can do it through meditation or, like I said, the actual practice of it, and that, and then just see yourself as the absolute like force of light, a billion suns, and that is that's the protection as well as one's intention to stay protected from anything other than pure love and light.

SPEAKER_01 49:15

Again, that is a massive encyclopedia you've got there. I love that you've like you've literally just poured yourself into that, and yeah, that is such a huge act of love.

SPEAKER_02 49:26

Thank you. It feels so good that it's actually done now. Like it took me yeah 40 days just to format it all. I think I cried for every single one of those days. Oh my god, it was so traumatic because I self-published. I th highly recommend self-publishing to anyone who's writing a book, it's really easy. And then you're in total control, you don't have to capitulate to anyone. You can I did the I did everything. I didn't you do need a good editor. That's one thing that I did that I did want, but self-publishing worked out really well, and now it's so good to be to have it that I said everything I wanted to say.

SPEAKER_01 50:02

Yeah, you got it out there. And now you're working on the memoir, which I'm glad that you brought up because I was actually gonna ask what your next kind of like bold move was, like where you were going. But a memoir you said is different, and I I assume so just uh I'm also leaning towards working on a memoir. I've got a couple books I'm wanting to write as well. Um, however, I plan on doing my memoir from like a fiction style memoir, uh, mostly for legal reasons. Um, and so you know, covering names and all the, you know, all that, all that kind of jazz. But uh, but I would imagine, and this is something I've thought of, um sitting down to do the memoir itself, you have to revisit every one of those raw stories, which means your body has to experience it again.

SPEAKER_02 50:55

Right, it means I'm gutted on the floor because my heart every single time, every time.

SPEAKER_01 51:00

It's not like, oh, it's not, you know, PTSD is uh is a thing for a reason, right? Um, those traumas are embedded on a cellular memory, and so it's not like I just visit a memory and uh I move out of it. It's not like that. No, my entire body feels it like I did the very first fucking time. Right. And so we have to actually go through hell to write those books. Right.

SPEAKER_02 51:32

I didn't realize that. I thought, oh, this will be fun, this will be different. Uh because it's different.

SPEAKER_01 51:38

It's definitely different.

SPEAKER_02 51:39

Yeah, I'm crying, I'm gathered on the floor for a different reason now. Yeah, and you know, I've been I've got I've kept journals since I was about six, so I've got journals to read. I've got I've I've been a photographer since about the same age, so it's so painful to like pull out, pull up old memories, uh, you know, and then there's the the gap between what was and then what you know never will be again.

SPEAKER_01 52:04

That's it's very and then there's also the sometimes the guilt that we go through because our our brains protect us from some of the things, right? Like we have blocks and gaps in our memory because we've been so horribly traumatized. And then I don't know about you, but I have felt guilt about that. I'm like, why can I not remember my own fucking kid? Or in this, you know, like I have moments where I'm like, I don't understand why I can't connect these thoughts because my body's saying, hey, wait, it's not time to do that yet. Like you're not safe enough for that yet. And and so then I get mad at my body for protecting me, right? Because part of the problem is I want to remember the thing, but my body says it's not time to remember the thing. Like I'm not, it's too, it's too much and it's not safe. And I go, Oh, how the fuck can I not remember my kid? Who the fuck does that? What kind of shitty mom am I? Like, you know, do you go through that? Like, it's awful.

SPEAKER_02 53:02

I think what um I I understand what you're saying about not being able to remember stuff, and I think an important part because uh and I am sorry that you have similar experiences to me, because they're the some of the worst pain, the worst pain. I would never wish it on my enemies, never. And I think the thing about the when people say, Well, how did you get through, how'd you get through? Like, how are you how are you standing here, sitting here today, actually talking like a normal person? And for me, it was staying really uh back to the present moment again, with actually feeling the feelings, whether what and that was often being in ex snot, you know, screaming into a towel, like it was ugly. It and it gets ugly.

SPEAKER_01 53:47

It's gotten less ugly over time, but it I think that what really helped me was to be to be in those that intense emotional experience shifted faster because you had to feel it. I did it. I thought most most people bypass that, they stay busy, they work themselves to death, they do whatever they can to avoid the pain because it's so fucking suffocating, right? Right? There's not even language strong enough to explain how fucking crippling that shit is.

SPEAKER_02 54:17

Except that you feel that you're gonna die. You definitely feel like not only do you not want to die.

SPEAKER_01 54:22

Yeah, not only do you feel like you're gonna die, you actually want to kill yourself. You actually want to. And I did for years, years and years. I wanted to fucking commit suicide. And um the only reason why I even made it through any of this, what I can't even take credit and be like, oh yeah, I just did the things that I had to do. I don't fucking know what got me through it. Probably my fucking guide screaming at me and pulling me by my hair through all of it because I wanted to fucking off myself 800 times a day. I w if it was up to me, I wouldn't be here right now. This would be a whole different conversation. Yeah, yeah. So I can't even take credit. I'm just like, I don't know. It wasn't me though. I was checked out. Right.

SPEAKER_02 55:11

So but it is important for people to know that that that going as painful as it is, that there is an end. There is not a complete end, but you just go, you know, it just I don't believe in that whole closure thing around grief and death. I think that's just bullshit, because really, what where how do you get closure? I don't. I don't get closure. I just get to experience more days with less suffering, but I'm still carrying the weight of the of the grief and the the loss, and I don't expect there to be closure around that. I've just now got a container. It's in a like a container within me that every now and again gets, or particularly with like writing the memoir, gets uh poked and tapped and then a more leaks out.

SPEAKER_01 55:55

I think for my experience, I've definitely experienced closure in moments. Um and um and it was something I learned I had to give myself. It wasn't something I could get from some other force outside of me. And that's the only thing that I think has allowed me to feel so much closure around so many, so many of those tabs, you know, that we have running.

SPEAKER_00 56:25

That's good.

SPEAKER_01 56:25

And and that was I think that's the closest that I I could maybe share on that subject. Yeah. Well, good work. It does it does require work. It it definitely does. It's uh we definitely always have to find like what works for us and run with it. Yeah, yeah. Well, this has been a fabulous chat, and I had no idea that we would have so many similarities. I know, neither did I. I it's unfortunate that we're have so many similarities, but also not. Like, I'm sorry that your life was pure hell, but also, um, hey Soul Sister, how you doing?

SPEAKER_02 57:05

Like, you know Well, they they say that suffering's the crucible for wisdom, and uh you know I've learned a lot, and that's why I'm grateful to be able to sh to share it through through podcasts, because um there are there are a lot of medicines, I'm calling them, or tools or practices that we can use along the way to get us through these tough times, and yeah, that's what I mainly repeat my I'm on repeat on my YouTube channel that you know just reminding people get outside, touch the earth, touch trees, watch animals, watch your cat play, look at clouds.

SPEAKER_01 57:46

Well, it is the repetition that people need though, because like if you think about how long it takes to create a habit and and and all that repetition, it you have to keep finding the even if it's two seconds of joy, fucking do it. Two seconds is still important, and then two seconds turns into four, and then it turns into eight minutes, and then before you know it, you've got a whole different day that you would have never thought you could have obtained, right?

SPEAKER_02 58:19

Yeah, I always every day I try to do I connect with nature, like directly connect with nature, yeah. Um, eat some kind of um living foods, fresh fruits or whatever. I'm not a into raw food or whatever, just make sure my body's nourished, yeah. Make sure that I drink some pure water, spring water or whatever that's maybe maybe been out in the sun. Yeah, and then uh do something creative. Yep. That's good food, or write the book or go out into the garden. And then another thing that I like doing is do something for someone else. Yes, whether that's pulling the neighbors' bins in or making some food and and sharing it or whatever it is. And I find if I include those elements, oh, and also you know, c connect with God, which I'll do it, it's not something I really have to like think about now.

SPEAKER_01 59:11

It's yeah, it's our it's kind of a given. It's just the life, it's kind of the lifestyle, so you don't really have to make a thing of it as much because it's just the lifestyle.

SPEAKER_02 59:19

To express gratitude for for what I do have, and I find if I put those elements into my day, it goes a lot better. Absolutely. And it's just keep really simple, just keep it simple. We don't have to, you know, to uh we don't really have to like do a lot or um go far or whatever. We can just do do those things from from home, and uh yeah, like you say, the whole day goes a lot better.

SPEAKER_01 59:46

It was a whole lot different, that's for sure. Uh Isabella, is there anything that we did not touch based on that we need to before we wrap up?

SPEAKER_02 59:58

No, I think we covered uh all the things that I feel are important to talk about, embodying light, connecting with nature. Okay, you know, like you said, doing uh things that bring joy, yeah, finding moments of peace and doing human stuff. Yeah, you know, put the music on and dance and uh you know, play board games, go camping, just do human stuff. It's really important now. Because there's so much push for us to be uh living in this uh technological, like robotic cyborg type of world, and that's when we're most disempowered, yeah, and we get the most sick. So by remaining human and connecting to nature is how we stay empowered and mentally and physically and spiritually well.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:48

Yeah, I would agree with that. Okay, um, and how if somebody wants to work with you, what's the fastest way for them to find you or best way for them to contact you?

SPEAKER_02 1:00:59

My uh YouTube channels called Feeling Better Naturally. Okay, and I have a substack, Feeling Better Naturally, and um my email is my name, isabellayoung number 19 at gmail.com. I don't actually have clients or you know, um, so I I just share what I know through those platforms. Okay, that's perfect.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:25

That's perfect. Um, okay, guys. So uh Isabella, it's been an absolute pleasure to have you on. Um, I think this conversation's been uh it's definitely been so much more and I I guess inspiring and enlightening than I thought it would be. Um, I had no idea we would have so much in common. Neither did I. Yeah, so that's that's really uh fabulous grounds. But uh if you guys are uh looking to connect with Isabella, her information will be in the show notes. Uh if you are feeling like this, you know, these topics uh resonated with your soul and you want to work with me privately, my booking links are also going to be in the show notes. So uh I think that's it, Isabella. We're gonna end it right here. Bye, you guys. See you next time. Thank you. Sending love and light. Thank you.