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At the Root of It
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At the Root of It
A Conversation on Stroke Recovery - Guest: Reyna
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In this episode, we sit down with Reyna, a stroke survivor. She shares what it was like in the moment she experienced a stroke, her journey through recovery, resilience, and redefining strength while navigating the physical and emotional challenges of daily life. Her story is one of courage, perseverance, and hope in the face of unimaginable change.
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Welcome to At the Root of It Podcast. I'm your host, Tiffany, and I am here today with a special guest, Raina. Hey Raina. Hey Tiffany, how are you? I'm doing great. How are you doing?
SPEAKER_01I'm doing great. Great to see you after all in a while.
SPEAKER_00Yes, it's been a while. So for the listeners, Raina and I used to work together, and it's been a while since we've had an opportunity to catch up. There's been a lot of life changes since we last saw each other. Raina is a stroke survivor and has agreed to come on and share her story to inspire all of you today. So we welcome her. Anything you want to add? Thank you. Awesome. Thank you. So before we get started, we'll share a funny tidbit that we have that's been going on for some years. So Raina and I, like I mentioned, we worked together during the time that my mom passed away. And Raina, along with some other folks that I worked with at the time, they were really sweet and really supportive to come out and come and attend my mom's funeral. And so I grew up in a very charismatic church background, a lot of music, loud, shouting, and whatnot. And I realized everybody is not accustomed to that same experience, right? So I tried to brace them a little bit for what they may experience in that setting. And they were okay. And I'm not sure. I know I gave you guys a little recap ahead of time. Hey, this is potentially what you could experience when you show up. Did you realize what I was saying in that moment, or did it hit you when you attended the service and observed it for yourself?
SPEAKER_01I think it hit me when I sat down and attended the service. And so I felt the spirit definitely that when I came back home, I was like, I want to have a funeral like that. I want to have a joyful funeral where everybody things and everybody's happy and share stories about my life. And that's what I want. So I know it's a joke to your family.
SPEAKER_00Well, I don't even know if I should call the joke. I think it was just funny because the way that it was told to me at the time, because I remember I took a few days off of work after the funeral. There was so much going on. And I remember there was one person and they were asking about how I was doing, and they said, Have you talked to Raina? I said no. And they all just erupted in laughter. And I'm like, what's going on? And they were like, Raina, really enjoy your mom's funeral. And I'm like, oh, that's nice. I'm glad your service was nice. And they said she was just telling everybody and told her husband, when I die, I want to have a funeral like a black woman because I enjoyed that experience. So my family and I still laugh about that today. We were uh glad that even in the midst of the circumstances, people still found it uplifting because that's essentially what we wanted it to be about. Definitely a celebration.
SPEAKER_01It was a celebration, it was uplifting. Like I said, I felt this period, and I was like, this is what I want something happy and joyful, not something sad and wonderful. I want people to feel that I made an impact in their life.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's great.
SPEAKER_01So I hope that by saying that I think an impact on whoever this is this podcast about stroke survival.
SPEAKER_00That's awesome.
SPEAKER_01Not a sad story.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Survival story. While we're talking about celebration, let's go ahead and celebrate you for just being a survivor to even get through that. I know it comes along with tremendous life changes. So let's go back a bit. Can you walk us through the day that your stroke happened and what you remember feeling in that moment?
SPEAKER_01My stroke happened back in November 2014. And it was a regular Saturday woke up early, took a shower, got ready, went to get my haircut. And that afternoon, that evening, my son, my youngest son, who was a performer for theater, had a performance at middle school and went to his performance. Everything was beautiful, and then we went with the whole team to dinner, came back home, and went to bed. I read I usually I read at night and went to bed and stayed downstairs reading. Then I can went back up to go to bed. When I went to bed, then I had the urgency to go to the restroom. I went to the restroom. And when I was in the restroom, my I just fell in the toilet in the bathroom. And my husband and my son heard me fall. So they came into the bathroom and helped me get up, but then I when I get up, my whole body just like kind of linked. And my husband thought I was drunk, so he's like running the washcraft around my face, and I'm like, I'm not drunk. So then then my voice started to start. They brought me the back. They called 911 and say 911 asked my son to do a couple of tests, lift up my arm. And then it had affected my whole left side. I could have lift up my left arm and I was learning my words. So, like I said, when I uh when they put me in the analyst, my first thought was I saw my son, who was 14 at the time. Now he's turning 26 this year. I was like, I want to see him grow up. I want to see him because I don't know if you know this, but I lost my mom when I was 10. Yeah, I remember you shared. I didn't want him to lose me. I wanted him to I want to see him grow up. So I was like, Lord die. So that was my first thought, I think, woke three afterwards.
SPEAKER_00Wow. Um as you think back about that day or maybe the days leading up to when you were going to see him perform, was there anything going on with you that maybe you didn't feel quite right? That now that you look back on it may have been a precursor to what was taking place?
SPEAKER_01Well, I was definitely a lot heavier. I was uh till I had 25 pounds. Now I've lost like 60 pounds from when you do me to now. Okay. It's do what they say high blood pressure is a silent killer. Because apparently my blood pressure was through the roof, and I was like uh one or five soda at the eight person. When I was at the hospital, I stopped on soda and I mean I they diagnosed with pre-diabetic and so all that. So now I just don't have soda anymore. I don't I have one once in a while, but definitely high blood pressure medicine, high blood pressure medicine, but it's still what they say is timely killer. I didn't know I had a high blood pressure. I'd never had buzzing with my hears or felt any heart preparations or anything like that.
SPEAKER_00So I didn't know I had I had high blood pressure. And if you feel comfortable sharing, what type of stroke did you have?
SPEAKER_01I had a hemorrhagic stroke. It was a brain.
SPEAKER_00Okay, okay. I wanted to call that out just because, for the sake of clarity for those listening, because I think a lot of times when people hear strokes, they just lump it all together, not realizing there are different types of strokes and there are different things that can be the driver to cause them. I also know people say things like, oh, maybe this person had a minor stroke in my personal thing. Thank you. That's exactly what I was gonna say. There's no such thing as a minor stroke. What has your recovery journey been like? If you can share maybe some of the milestones and any highs and lows in that process.
SPEAKER_01I was in the hospital for 45 days. Oh, yeah. And then that included physical therapy and the hospital. And in the hospital, I took physical therapy, OT, occupational therapy, and speech therapy. So after I got out of the hospital, I went to out track physical therapy and again occupational therapy and speech therapy. They released me from speech therapy because being me. My attitude didn't change. I was still smart mouth and arena. As you know me. So they said, you don't need occupational therapy, you don't need speech therapy, you're good. I was like, okay, I never change. And yes, I may have like little lessons of memory and short-term memory, but other than that, I'm still me. I still remember things from years ago, and I still remember things from the industry that we used to work on. I still remember that, and so I'm still me. And physical therapy is what took me, and then I now I go to the gym with my sister, and we try to I try to make to make it a point to walk at least a mile when we go to the gym three to four times a week. We don't go to the gym, we we're bedwalkers. So I try to make it a vote to at least walk a mile that day, and try not to sit down and just be excited. And I read a lot on my Kindle, I read a lot, and uh just play games too to keep my mind sharp.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's important. I I know the physical aspect of it is often emphasized, but also doing those things to keep your mind strong also helps in that process.
SPEAKER_01A hundred percent, because I'm not working anymore as not as that stressful environment. I like to keep things going and also I'd like to help my kids on whatever I can't do. If oh, we are reina, we need help with this. So I'll be looking at that like just today and oh, I remembered something. So I reached out to my son's wife, and I was like, and then I found something else out. I was like, okay, if I hadn't reached out to you, like me trying not to be controlling, but trying to be just just staying active myself. Yeah, staying active. I found something else out that we wouldn't have to find out or otherwise. So just keeping on top of things like man with the family and just overall household things that I need to be on top of. That's I try to keep it busy that way.
SPEAKER_00Who or what has made the biggest difference in your recovery journey?
SPEAKER_01Definitely my sister, my husband, my kids, and my grandkids out to just try to stay active and try to stay thing for them to just be there and watch them grow up.
SPEAKER_00That's great. If you can think about just what you went through and post-recovery, how did the stroke change the way you see yourself or your priorities in life?
SPEAKER_01My priority in life, I think now that I just feel that you can't let that bring you down to kind of keep living your life and enjoy the moment. Don't give up on your goals and just keep living your life. Just be the person that you are that you've always been. Don't let people try to pity on you because it just doesn't help. Yeah. It doesn't help for the people to do it. You just want you just want to be yourself and people to treat you the same way they would have treated you before your stroke than after the stroke because you don't want to be looked down all for you. Yeah. Yeah. I mean you go through it as at the beginning. At the beginning of the stroke, after recovery, yes, you see yourself a little different because, for example, I can't I can't use my left arm or hand. So I and I walk with a brace. And now because I walk with a brace, and the brace only announced me those tennis shoes. Even when we go to a four-ball event, yes, I'm all dressed up, but I'm wearing sneakers. Yeah. But I at the beginning I was like, oh my god, people are gonna look at me like I'm and I'm like, you know what? This is where I am, this is what I went through. You might get to bad suicide, this is who I am.
SPEAKER_00I love that aspect. And even you to have the bravery, and like you said, when you look at yourself and you might see differences or changes than how you would see yourself show up before, but you even being brave enough to step out, and like you said, I'm wearing formal wear, but I'm gonna put my sneakers on too. You have no idea how many people you may be silently inspiring who may be dealing with their own battles or insecurities with things, and then they see you and they say, I can do it too.
SPEAKER_01A hundred percent, definitely. Yes. Even when I've gone back to even at the gym when we go walking, it's there's a lot of senior citizens there walking at the same time, and they're all very encouraging. They're like, Oh, you're doing great, you're doing great. And we do chair yoga. So we they're like, Oh, you're doing great. And they've seen me there particularly, so we've been there for six, seven years. And they're like, right, remember you first walked in here, you weren't some mobile. So they're very encouraging, and very everybody is very encouraging towards people with a discipline, which is nice that it's not all for you. They're very encouraging, which is nice to see that for a lot of people.
SPEAKER_00Motivating versus enabling, so yeah.
SPEAKER_01Exactly, exactly. And definitely my family has definitely motivated me, and they have not ethical like the same. They're like, Oh, you can do this, you can do that. Even when you try to put something, yeah, it's hard for me because I only have my right hand. So my husband's like, okay, I see it's a fool, he starves it, I try it, and he follows the instructions. I felt like the circuit. So he just goes like he's like, Yes, honey, yes, honey.
SPEAKER_00That's awesome. Uh is there anything that you wish more people understood about stroke and stroke recovery?
SPEAKER_01Just watch your health and watch your weight and go to the doctor more often. And if you have aggro pressure, take your medicine because I say it's a silent killer. You never know. I'm blessed and I'm not gonna be here talking to you today, and to be talking to you normal, then I can use like speech or to be slurring my words or sound incoherent. So I'm 100% that way. Less than happy. I'm blessed, yes.
SPEAKER_00Now you talked about getting out and walking, trying to get a more mobility. What other lifestyle changes or habits have become important for you?
SPEAKER_01Definitely working out because before I was not a workout type of person. And watching what I eat more to try to keep my weight down to keep the weight that I've that I'm at now. Because that it's a healthy weight, my doctor's happy with it. Just try to keep that, and I said the diabetes were pre-diabetic with sorted, so I watched my sugar intake, my carb intake, and all that.
SPEAKER_00So try to be more healthy. Are there any goals that you're looking forward to, or maybe some additional things that just keeps you motivated in this process?
SPEAKER_01Using motivated my two my three grandkids.
SPEAKER_00I knew that was the million-dollar answer.
SPEAKER_01Definitely my grandkids. I want to see them thrive on and grow up. And my youngest son, who's a musical theater major, and he's on tour now with the outsiders on the national tour, and he plays Johnny Boy and Corny Boy and Johnny. So watching him be on stage, that's also the most motivational thing. To watch him on Broadway. That's the one that I'm looking forward to most when they do anything they do, but couldn't make it. But watching you on Broadway and being there to see him, that's definitely and goals to travel to places where I've been wanted to go for years for a drink. That's one thing that gives me motivating to give me moving, to be able to be flexible, to be able to up and down there with a little help, right? To be able to make mobile, to be able to do that to that drink from trip. That's awesome. That's definitely one thing.
SPEAKER_00You look well, you sound well, and it sounds like overall things are going well with you these days. Yes, they are.
SPEAKER_01I I'd miss sometimes the interaction with working and stuff, but I'm okay with where I'm at in life right now.
SPEAKER_00That's great. And and getting out into some of these spaces, like you mentioned about your workouts and walks and things like that, offers you the benefit of maybe additional socialization that you wouldn't typically get in an office environment because it allows you time to get to see lots of different people. Exactly.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you definitely learn from other people's i ailments and things that sometimes wonder, like, oh well, what I'm going through is not so what I went through is not so bad. Or people are going through things that in their turmoils that you're gonna know about when you meet other people through different things. So it definitely has been eye-opening to to see that I've that I'm not the only one that went through this. Yeah. Then there are other people that have more situations, or just gonna make it overall, but there's definitely those advantages.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I know firsthand how devastating that can be just with what we went through with my mom and her care and everything. So I am immensely overjoyed to look at you and interact with you right now and to know you are a survivor and you're like out there doing it every day.
SPEAKER_01Yes, definitely I am a survivor. I when I had my show the song I came out, my fight song for Rachel Plant, I think I think that all the time the radio just blast it. Because it is my fight song. It does take back my life song. And I get to I get take back my life. Because I'm I'm a survivor and I'm standing here and I'm proof of it, and I just want people to know that there is life after your stroke, that you can't move out from it. You just have to be willing to put your work to it to do it, you just have to be willing to put at the work. As long as you you're willing to put at the work, then get definitely get through it.
SPEAKER_00That's awesome.
SPEAKER_01And have people motivate you to do it for you.
SPEAKER_00You actually touched on the last point that I had, that if someone was listening, uh if someone's listening who has gone through a stroke or going through stroke recovery, what would you want them to know? And I feel like that summed it up perfectly. But if you have any additional thoughts there, totally open to that.
SPEAKER_01Don't take the wall as we added because yes, there will be some little depression, which they will the doctor will tell you that they'll prescribe the medicine. And I am taking medicine for them because before at the beginning I was just trying to commercial and I would ball my eyes out just crying. They're like, no, it's standard procedure to put everybody on a little medication. Okay. But just don't worry with me, just feel the way you were before and just keep going and drive a strip to do that burns it.
SPEAKER_00That's great. I know I said that was my last point, but as you were talking, it made me think about one more question I want to ask. So I've heard that people who have suffered strokes, and while we do understand it's an actual brain injury, and some people deal with memory loss and things like that. I've heard that some people can experience changes in their personality. We did not experience that. I don't think we experienced that to any extent with my mom, but is that anything that you may have encountered or heard about as you were going through this process?
SPEAKER_01Um, absolutely not. My whole family can tell you that absolutely, even at the hospital, I had a lady sitting with me in the room. And this lady at two o'clock in the morning would rummage through her drawer looking for food, and she would tell whoever walked in the room would tell somebody the story of how she felt. So one day my doctor came in and I said, I can't see what this lady is at. And she turned to my family, took up my husband and my sister. They're like, Is she this door? And they're like, Oh yeah, that's Raina. They're like, no, there's been no changes. Am I a little more empathetic towards people that have a disability? Yes, I am. Am I more conscious that are certain things that could be changed of places to be more useful for people that have disabilities? Yes, I am. But then again, the industry that I was in also catered a lot to the people with disabilities in hotel rooms. So I'm used to I'm used to that. So now when I go into a hotel, I'm like, oh, they didn't take it into serious this for a handicapped person. So that's just it, but I take more empathy now for people that have some kind of disability.
SPEAKER_00That's great. I'm glad to hear that you have that heart of empathy and that you are also, and whether you realize it or not, making yourself an advocate for those with disabilities to make the way easier in other spaces, as like you mentioned about going up and down the stairs or things that people take for granted of just going into a hotel room, not realizing that there are certain things that need to be modified to a certain extent so that everyone is able to have a comfortable experience as they're living their life.
SPEAKER_01Exactly. And just have just your caretakers, the people that help you or think that they you might get on their nerves because I know I do. But they know that's how you are that's how you are gonna be good. Other than that, you're just be yourself and just uh don't take the war as me attitude and just uh strive to be who you are.
SPEAKER_00That's great. Well, thank you for spending a few minutes with me this evening. I have loved hearing more about your stroke survival story. Looking forward to getting some time to catch up with you offline. Definitely. Wonderful. Well, thank you all for tuning in and listening, and I hope you continue to tune in as we highlight stroke survivors. So thank you for joining us. Thank you. Bye-bye. Thank you. If today's episode makes you last, we uh feel fine. I'll give you a little bit of a. I hope we can hold on to that. Um don't forget to like and subscribe.