Chef Lindsay Smith: 19 Years, Divorce & Rebuilding a Farm-to-Table Legacy | Ep 40

What does it take to run the same restaurant for 19 years while navigating motherhood, divorce, and complete reinvention?

In this episode, Aimee Rickabus talks with Lindsay Smith, owner and executive chef of Nirvana by Chef Lindsay in Laguna Beach, about resilience, creativity, and the power of building community through food.

Lindsay shares:
- How she went from culinary school at 19 to restaurant owner at 26
- The pivotal moment at her 40th birthday that sparked her divorce
- Navigating COVID while buying out her husband and rebuilding solo
- Why she shifted from "operator" to "owner" mindset
- The origin of her famous goat cheese ice cream (hint: a backyard fig tree)
- How her monthly ladies' dinner became a movement of 50+ women

Whether you're a business owner navigating a major life transition, a mom trying to balance ambition with presence, or anyone who's ever wondered if it's too late to reinvent yourself—this conversation will remind you that the best chapter might still be ahead.

🔗 CONNECT WITH LINDSAY SMITH:
Instagram: @nirvana.laguna
Website: nirvanlaguna.com

🔗 CONNECT WITH THE MANAGE HER:
Website: https://www.themanageher.com
Instagram: @themanageher

Transcript

Hi, everyone, and welcome back to The Manage Her, the podcast where we turn the invisible work of women into powerful, intentional leadership. I'm your host, Amy Riccobus, author of The Manage Her, entrepreneur, and mama of six. Today's guest is someone I've known for years. We actually went to high school together, and I couldn't be more excited to share her story with you. Lindsay Smith is the owner and executive chef of Nirvana by Chef Lindsay, a Laguna Beach landmark known for its seed oil-free, non-GMO, farm-to-fork, wine country cuisine. For the past 19 years, Lindsay has built not just a restaurant, but a community. Through seasons of change, rebranding, and reinvention, she's weathered the storms that come with entrepreneurship and motherhood, all while serving up warmth, connection, and creativity to her customers and her city. Lindsay is also the host of a monthly ladies' dinner series at Nirvana, a sold-out gathering of about 50 women who Thank you so much for having me. Hi, Lindsay. How are you, honey? I'm so glad you're here today. So finally got you on the show. I know. We took a little while to get two moms together to get this on. Two busy moms. Yes, exactly. So thank you so much for taking time out of your busy Saturday to come in and be here with me and share your story with us. So I wanted to start with your origin story. You've been running Nirvana for 19 years, which is an incredibly long time in the restaurant industry. Can you take us back to the beginning? What inspired you to open it? And what did those early days look like for you? So I started my culinary career early. My first job was at 15. I worked at Renaissance Cafe in Laguna Beach. And I just loved it. And I started as a barista. And then I ended up doing desserts. And then I ended up at Expo. And then that swung me into... going to Northern California and living with my aunt and uncle. I worked in a coffee shop and then I went to New Mexico. I started Ayurvedic medicine. Then I went to Hawaii and my mom had an Ayurvedic retreat there. And I worked in a little place called Postcards in the North Shore of Kauai. And then I came back and it was like the holidays and I just was fumbling, not sure exactly at 19 what to do with life. And I decided not to do Ayurvedic medicine like my mom. And I started culinary school. And I was 19, and I went to Orange Coast College. And it was just something that worked. And everything I did, I just was enthralled by, and I wanted to do more. And so I started working for a bunch of caterers in Orange County and in LA, Fox Studios, Universal Studios, Cienega Catering, Pascal Olhatz, and Creme de la Creme, and Sherman Gardens. And I just loved it. And so the more I did, the more I wanted to do more. And I got great friendships. One of my great friends worked for Pascal in his restaurant and doing catering. And he was shorthanded, so it was an opening for me. And so I started working for him. I worked for about a year, a year and a half. And then I got a job while at Orange Coast at the Ritz-Carlton. And I did both of them for about six months. So I did pastry at the Ritz at six in the morning. And then I'd get off, have a little break, and then go to Pascal's at night. And I did that for about six months concurrent. And then I ended up quitting to continue at the Ritz, which is where I met my, at that time, now ex-husband. I just loved it. And I just, everywhere I could, I found areas that I could learn more. And so I was running a program there. I was doing private chef work. And this was in like 2000 and I think two. And I ended up stopping at the Ritz after in 2005. I believe, to start doing my private catering. Then I got a job for Z-Pizza as their corporate chef, developing their whole program for all the franchisees across the country because they'd sold like 200 franchise locations and we had to standardize everything, recipes and all of the purchasing and get a big purveyor that could do national distribution. And so that was a really interesting job because it took me in different directions. But then it became babysitting. Yes. And the babysitting kind of was wearing and taxing. I learned a lot outside of the realm that I already had learned. After that, Luis and I, my husband at the time, I was like, what do you want to be doing? Because I think I'm kind of getting done here. And I would really like to see about doing something independently, not just as a private chef, but maybe like doing something else. And I catered a lot and we did well. And so... I'm very big about manifesting. I know you know that. And so I got really clear about what that looked like for me. And so it was February. We'd just been to the Fancy Food Show in San Francisco. And I came back and kind of in March envisioned this whole thing and just was very intentional. What I wanted it to look like, how big I want it to be, how close to home I wanted it to be, what the food was going to be. We even developed a little menu for it. And within a month, I got an email pop into my email that I had signed up for restaurantsforsale.com. Just like to see, you know, anything in the area. I'd found it searching online. And this one listing came up in Mission Viejo. And I was like, well, that's interesting. All of them usually came in as like a list. Yeah. So I went and checked it out. And we ended up pulling money out of the house and buying it for like $100,000. And it was a turnkey restaurant ready to go. And it was big enough. And it had everything that I asked for. Wow. And so we started there. And then a year and a half went by and I'd gotten on the cover of a few magazines. AAA had done a big feature on us in Westways. And I was one of the top 10 chefs under 40. And I was 26 years old. Kind of a big deal. And at the time, I was like one of the only female chefs, too, that were really in the market. Zav was there. But, you know, there was not a lot of us. Yeah. And I got a lot of nerve right quickly. Yeah. So one day this cook came in the restaurant and he was looking for a job. And he had worked in Laguna. And his chef said to go see his friends that had a place in Mission Viejo because he went back to work after they were closed for a week and the restaurant was empty. And so I'm in my office and my office was kind of to the side. And the big, it was a big catering kitchen for the Mission Viejo restaurant. And he's like, yeah, it was in Laguna. And I hear Laguna and I like pop my, my. My desk chair and wheels out of the office. And I'm like, where was this? And so I call my broker and I'm like, Dan, we need to go look at this place. And it was it was the restaurant that we're in right now for Laguna. Wow. And so when we went and looked, I found out that week that I was pregnant with Diego. Wow. And so we're trying to negotiate all this while just finding out I'm pregnant with my first son. Yes. Yes. And I'm thinking, OK, well, this is interesting. God really supports a lot because we had said we wanted a baby. And then we had had this conversation of it's kind of like we're getting ready to grow again. And they both kind of happened simultaneously. And I'm like, well, we can't say no to either of these things. Yeah. So we're just going to have to figure this problem out when we get there. Yes. And so we just went for it. Yeah. And it was amazing. And so we had both of them running concurrently for five years. Then when Michiviejo closed, it was when the whole economic downturn happened. And Michivie was such a bedroom community. It was not advantageous for us to continue after our lease. And they had like tripled our rent when they bought the building. Wow. So it was just not financially sustainable any longer. Yeah. And so now we've been in Laguna for 17 years. Diego just turned 17. Holy moly. And so, yeah, it's been quite the road. It's just amazing that it's been 17 years. Time flies when you're having fun. Oh my gosh. It's amazing. I remember when you were pregnant with Diego. And you craved goat cheese ice cream. So you ate it. Well, the goat cheese ice cream came in Mission Viejo like the first year we were open. I guess I craved the goat cheese ice cream. But Danielle, my sister, told that story. And it was like, she told it when she was a server to the guests. I'm like, That didn't happen. She also told the story. That's mythology. I was doing something and like goat cheese fell into the ice cream and I made it. I'm like, that didn't happen either. That's so funny. So that's just an old Nirvana myth then. That was like my sister's way of selling it. I love it. It worked for me. It worked for me. The goat cheese ice cream is amazing. And it's the only place I've ever tasted goat cheese ice cream. And you still have it on the menu, don't you? It's a staple for 19 years. It was really just out of necessity. Like I had a fig tree. And it was a tiny fig tree I got at Rogers Gardens. Yeah. And it was from Monrovia Plants and they had beautiful fruit trees. And I planted it and it just had this like bumper crop of figs. And they were good sized figs. And then as the time went on, I mean, I put it next to like a phone base, you know, the old like cordless phone bases. And it was the same size as a phone base. These were Turkish figs that were just gorgeous. We were doing an appetizer and it was a honeyed goat cheese with some black pepper. And then we roasted them stuff. And then we'd wrap them in prosciutto and put them on a bed of arugula with some balsamic reduction. They were like killer, right? Yeah. And then we were doing a bananas foster as a dessert. Yeah. And so I thought, okay, we have all these figs. What am I going to do with all these figs? And so I thought, well, what if we did figs instead of the bananas? And what if we did Grand Marnier instead of the rum? What would that look like? And so we did. And then the vanilla ice cream was like, okay, well, it's okay, but it's kind of flat. And then I was like, well, what about if we did something and like whipped goat cheese into the vanilla custard instead? And we tried that and it was like so killer, right? But then the honey that we put to sweeten it was gritty. So it was like, okay, we got to change that. So we did maple syrup instead and it just stuck. Wow. And so we've been doing it that way ever since. Wow. And so we do, apricots are amazing on it. Strawberries are great on it. Pineapple's okay. I'm not a fan of it, but that's what we started with, knowing that we could do things other than figs, was a regular client saying, well, you don't have figs. Can you do another fruit and just do it the same way? Yum. That sounds very good for some right now, actually. I love it. And that's the creativity. I mean, literally talk about like farm to table. You're like literally growing the figs in your backyard that are inspiring your food. That's pretty amazing. And you didn't see that as much back then. You know, I feel like the whole farm-to-table thing wasn't even around yet in 2004, 5, 6. It's been definitely, like our family, that's how we were raised. Our family, my mother was one of the founding people with the co-op in the canyon. We got mountain people. We divided it between everybody. Everybody put their order down. And my mom and dad, that's how we lived. And we grew up, which they'd never owned a microwave. We always ate organically. And so now the fad is not a fad anymore anymore. And we're not the weird kids that have like the metal stainless steel boxes at school with like, you know, steamed tofu and brags. And and like, I don't even. Yeah, we we were the weird kids with food, but it was healthy food and we were raised that way. And so that our palates are a little different. Yes. Right. And our whole family cooks. And so we all have that way of like being creative. And when we come home from school, it'd be like, what are we going to eat? And we all had to cook like if we wanted popcorn. It's not like throw it in the microwave. Like we had to get the air popper out. We had to heat up the ghee. Then we had brewer's yeast and spike. Yum. And so like now people are like, oh my God, that's amazing. But that was like our everyday. And we're like, yeah, we don't have cool popcorn that's in the microwave, you know? Yeah. That was our thing that we didn't have. Or like people are getting hot dogs and we're thinking, oh, we're so deprived, you know? But now we look back and we're like, we're kind of glad because we were raised in a way that now... What we eat has always been what's been good for us. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, you guys have a different relationship with food. And food is always a way, a creative outlet for you guys because cooking was just the way that you ate. And it was always the time we got brought together. Yes. Right? And I think that's what's always connected me with food is the memories that we created with them. Yeah. We're sitting around the table making spanakopita and we're all dipping it in butter and eating it. Right? As we're folding them or we're shucking corn together. Or we're doing peas that are English peas out of the shell. And those memories stuck with me. Yeah. Because it was when we were all together. Yeah. And there was no conflict. We weren't proving anything. We were just cooking. Yeah. And nothing else seemed to like be in our space. Yeah. So. Such a sacred space for a space and time for families to be in when they're just in the kitchen together. I know. I think of the special times when my mom comes, she always cooks. Yeah. With the kids. Every single one of them. I have pictures of my mom in the kitchen with the kids. And it's such a sweet time. And you're right. It does instill like now they want to cook. Yeah. Because you're on pause. Life goes on pause for a moment. Yes. Even just for a moment. And during COVID, we saw that a lot. Like we were providing food for people and they were cooking at home. We weren't cooking. We were giving them raw product and they were cooking at home. And we were seeing people inspired by actually coming together again. Yeah. And spending time in the kitchen. And what did that look like? And I think even as a restaurateur, we have seen that trend keep. That people do spend more time at home now. They do cook more at home. The dining isn't as prolific as it used to be dining. Yeah. Or there are more boxes and subscriptions people get to be able to make it easier and faster. But they're doing it at home. Right. So there's been like this big changeover from that. Yeah. And that's, it's important that you make those changes. We call that a Justin Conquer in our business. We, you know, we did a big AC during COVID also, because we also saw big changes in IT at that time. And it's, you know, if you can make the changes to suit your customers as their needs change, you can stay in business. But if you don't pivot, you know, so it's nice that you were able to go ahead and do your rebrand to meet the people where they're at post, you know, during and post COVID. You did a big rebrand during that time. Yeah. Life was very different with COVID on, you know, divorce and relationships. And I started doing woodwork out of, you know, a relationship that I had and, and I just got to be creative and I got to do, I got to have the freedom to design it the way I needed it, which I never felt the freedom to do in my business. Wow. It's like COVID gave me the excuse to choose differently. Yeah. And I really embraced that part, right? Because I finally said, okay, this is time that I get to choose. This is the way I need to do it. This is where my family needs to operate like this if I'm going to continue doing it. Yes. But first, we were only open like four days a week. Yeah. And it was like, that's what worked because I was trying to figure out life as a single mom. Yeah. And how did that look? And how could I be there? And how could I... have childcare all the time where a restaurant is not predictable. Yes. And so I had the kids on the days I was off. Yes. And I didn't have to worry about childcare on the days that I had them. And so I had to kind of shift things around and we started doing events more and focusing towards that. Like right now, most of the focus that we have on a day-to-day is about our relationships with clients with events. Yes. And they're longstanding. Like the Laguna Playhouse, we have a contract for the year. We're starting to work with UCI Health and UCI Mind and Rivian and the museum. The call that I was on right before we started. Yes. So like we're doing things that are more predictable for income, more predictable for what we can give, more predictable for the community and what we can do as outreach. And it gives us an ability to have security. Yeah. Where the restaurant is just gravy. Yeah. Right. Yeah. We're there, but it's gravy. It's not the what makes us successful. Yeah. And so if it's not busy one day, it's not what we need to have happen. So we've spent time and money and we're still at that infrastructure where we're not there yet. But we've spent that time this last year in our rebrand to build that directionality so we can be more sustainable for the future. Yeah. It's so fun. As we come into middle age, we come to a place of confidence where we can come to a place of reinvention of ourselves and our businesses. And I think at that point, there's like a maturity level and a knowledge base in our fields that we can do it better than we did it in the first iteration. And how far do we want to work? Exactly. Exactly. Before, I was the workhorse. Yes. I was the operator, not the owner. Yes. Right? And now I've been able to hire staff that supports me and let go enough of... the what I thought was perfection was really control. Yes. And the control didn't allow me the autonomy to do the other things that I needed. Yeah. Because then I never had the time. Yes. And now it's like, oh, okay, here's a contract. You know what to do. Do. Do. And sometimes I come in and I'm on fire and I'm like, why have I been off and this is what it is? But I have a lot more confidence in them to figure it out or to teach them how to do it differently if it's not done right than before. It gives me the support that I need to do things outside of the restaurant. That's really important. I was just talking to Scout about this, how companies, when we first start them, they're like newborn babies and they need us like 24-7. But the idea is to raise our companies almost like we raise our children to be more independent, to have systems and operating procedures that we can then step back and work on the business and not so much In the business. Yeah, absolutely. And as you get older, you're a little more tired. Yeah. I mean, honestly. Menopause kicked my bus. I mean. Yeah. I mean, I'm not fully in it yet, but like we're a family of perimenopause is very early. Like my aunt was like 38. My mom was 42. Yeah. I was 42. Yeah. Like it's just gotten us early. Yeah. And it is amazing the effect. I know you're not there yet, but the effect is just like, whoa, where did my memory go? Why am I not sleeping well? My weight. I didn't change anything. And what happened? Yeah, totally. No, I mean, this is a conversation that I was having with my girlfriends this week, actually. We were talking about how women never really talk about menopause. Oh, it's such a big thing. And how much it really impacts your life as you're going through it. And the fact that we're really not prepared for it. You know, I think when you're a little kid, people prepare you to go through puberty. Yeah. But like you're not as prepared to go through what I like to call cougar puberty. Yeah. As you know, as you go through menopause, it's like you're not as really as prepared for this. You know, nobody talks about it. Yeah. And it's such a thing because it's like your sex drive and everything. Like, yeah, it's it's not a bad thing. It's actually like I think in your 40s, your sex drive increases. It does. And I'm like, it does. OK, well, yeah, this is a great time of life, you know, especially being single. But it's like, how do you deal with this? And then how do you have that conversation? And do you feel insecure about even relationships and going into that? Yeah. And so it's a very interesting thing. So through the ladies groups and through all these other things, we talk about that all the time. I love that. It's a safe space for us to just be and have all these women together. And it's just amazing how the evolution happens in what we do. Yes. And what our priorities are and how we look at things and the calm in the storm. Yes. Right? And I think that's something that's really happened for me. I am so much calmer in my storms. Yes. And I reset so much quicker. And the resilience factor has... gotten more defined for me. Yes. Because it was always there, but it was almost like it was in chaos. Yes. And now I can look at it at a different angle. I'm like, okay, well that happened. Okay, well tomorrow's going to be a new day. And my reset's real quick. Yeah. And I think that has come just from all the things in life. Yeah. That have happened. Well, I was just writing a chapter in my new book and it's about how your self-identity actually is tied to your resilience. And as you become an old, you know, a middle-aged, a mature woman, you do know who you are. And in that knowing of oneself comes resilience. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. And we think that all these changes happen in our 60s. No. And they really don't. They really don't. No. They really start in your 40s and really become... you really come into yourself in your 40s. But I think the best thing about being in your 40s is that you come into who you are, but you've really got this 25-year span where now you can focus on your legacy and your impact and you have the energy still to do all the cool shit that you've always wanted to do. But now you have a little bit of money and a lot of experience and you can make things happen. It's fun. Well, and what relationships did you build during that time? And I think that's my... That's been my success is my relationships. Because my relationships were the things that I always, even if I wasn't always present, they were always in that moment important. And no matter the distance of time, it was like nothing ever happened. And that was like how I am as a personality. And even like with us, we had like 10 years we didn't see each other. And then as soon as we started kind of having kids... What, 15, 20 years ago? Yeah. It's like we reconnected. 16 years ago, 17 years ago. Exactly. And so those things kind of take shape. And I realized, gosh, this is how I am and how I've been in relationships. And those have mattered because if I called somebody, they're like, yeah, what do you need? Yeah. And I was like, oh, it's that easy. Yes. And it's like, well, you showed up for me when I needed and I didn't even have to ask for anything. Yeah. It was just like, what do you need? What do you need? And so I think that that's an interesting thing of seeing retrospectively. Yeah. And it seems like relationships, like even how you got your job with. with Z Pizza was relational. And I feel like so much of business, we put so much emphasis on education and not enough emphasis on relationships. Build relationships, work for free, know people, meet people, help people. And you will find that it's like planting seeds that then you can go down the road and you can reap those crops. Yeah. I mean, our ladies dinner is a perfect example. At first it was like, you know, just friends for the first year and a half when we did it, or actually almost two years. And it was like, you know, 29 bucks. Just give something so we pay for the food. Yeah. But we all did the work. There was no staff ever that's worked and still there's no staff. Now it's open to the public and we charge $49 because we have staff there all day cleaning, getting everything ready, setting up so I don't have to. And then we set the table. We make the flowers. Yeah. We cook the meal together. We drink together. We have this family style meal and we share. And then the staff afterwards comes and does all the dishes and cleans up so we don't have to do that anymore. That's so nice. So it's like we get the great part but like everybody coming is doing it and and it's like we've looked at the numbers and and my operations director hillary she's like well we're really like barely cutting like breaking even here and i'm like it's not about that yeah i mean it's really not it's about what the women coming in every single time yeah is so different yeah the crew that come are so different i mean there's from 18 years old i think has been the youngest and i think 82 has been the oldest wow So it's this intergenerational sharing that's just so impactful. Yes. And it fills my soul. I mean, I think every time I say, you know, I think I do this more for me than I do for you guys. Yes. The benefit is that you guys get to benefit. Yes. And other than that, I do it for me. And I need it. That's the coolest work. I think the work that we do for ourselves. It's like when you're in it and you're like, I'm doing this because this brings me like great fulfillment and joy. Then you're in your realm of genius and you're doing the right thing and you're going to be successful in it. I love it. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. This last one. Do you know Michelle McCormick? Oh. Therapist in town. I think I've definitely seen her name before. Well, she's great. And the last time that we had the ladies dinner, she goes, she was talking about things and she's been to many, many, many of them from the beginning to now. Yeah. And she's like, you know, I realized something. I was thinking about you and who you are and every time it's so different and I just see how you have grown and blossomed this last few years. And she goes, and, you know, I realized it's kind of like Lilith Fair. She goes, you're our Sarah McLachlan. And I'm like, oh, my God. Really? You know, and I was like, OK, I'll be your Sarah McLachlan. That's how it is. And I was like, what an acknowledgement, you know, and that felt so amazing that somebody could see what I naturally do really well is connecting people. Yeah. How that connecting is. has brought people to a safe space. Yes. And we've had people that have gotten divorced after realizing how like shut down in life they've been. Yeah. And standing up for what they want in their own life. Right. We've had people that like lost a partner after falling in love. And she'd been for like six months sheltered in her house. And she like found these women that were then part of her tribe. Yes. And she now is like very close friends with. I mean, it's Like amazing how many connections have happened through these that I hear. Yeah. In the time of technology that we're in right now, community building is one of the most important thing that we can be as we lead. I think that that's one of the most important things we do as leaders right now is help to build IRL in real life community for people. Because the more technology we have, the more socially isolated we are actually becoming. And having relationships with people will lead to opportunities in your life. And you won't have the same relationships with people you don't really meet in real life that you do when you actually get to give somebody a hug. Or, you know, cry with someone or laugh with someone in real life. Share food with someone. These are real things, experiential things that bond. Yeah, it's definitely been that for us. I love that. It's so amazing. I'm so glad you're doing that. And you just kind of, it just wandered your way right into that one, you know? It literally was a Thanksgiving in 2001. Yeah. And we were doing Thanksgiving dinner. Yeah. We had two turkeys at the end. Yeah. Or no, two orders. They weren't full turkeys, but two orders at the end of the day. Yeah. We had to fulfill. And we didn't have the turkey for it. And I was like, what the hell? Where did the turkey go? I know we had enough. I counted them. So we... figured a way of like getting the two orders together through, because we do a half turkey, a full turkey, white meat or dark meat. And we just had to piece them together. And so then we ended up having the turkeys found at the end of the day with another fridge that we don't use often. The cooks put them in. And when they went to get them out to put them in the oven, they didn't see them. So then I ended up with two whole turkeys that were like you know, 15 pound turkeys. So I come to my aunt's in San Juan here and we go to dinner. And then the next day I'm like, okay, well maybe I have friends giving. Yeah. I miss my friends. It's been years since I've seen them. Yeah. I'd gone through the divorce. It'd been, I mean, during COVID we were full service market. I mean, we never stopped. Yes. I had never a pause moment. It was like the five days before we got shut down, we were already a market. So when we got shut down, people were already counting on us for food supply. And we did that all the way through for almost a year. And then meal deliveries and all these things. And so it was quite a big period of our business. And I was going through the divorce at the same time. And so he exited the restaurant. I bought him out of the house in the restaurant in July of 2020. Wow. So it's like right in the heat of it all. Right in the middle. Adjusting through COVID, adjusting through the restaurant by myself, adjusting through short staff. Yeah. I mean, it was like one of the most crazy, heart-crushing times of just like, okay, muster up every ounce of energy you have. Yeah. And just don't pay attention to anything else. Yeah. And Mateo's a baby. Mateo's two. Holy moly. Yeah. No, no, no. We separated when he was two. So it was 2018. We separated. It was my 40th birthday. Excuse me. Yes. And our 20th anniversary for LBHS. Wow. And so you're a grade above me. Yeah. And so we had it at the restaurant. Yeah. And it was literally that week I realized, what am I doing? Wow. We were coming up upon it and I just like, I had this big moment and I just like couldn't breathe. And I went to the hospital and then I stayed in my son's room and I was like, I can't see my life here the next 20, 30, 40 years. Right. What am I doing? I'm unhappy. And I have been for a very long time. Yeah. And we'd had our conflict and we like a lot of conflict before that. And that's how it all shifted. And I spent the night in my son's room and I never moved out. Wow. Like I just felt more at peace. Yeah. And that my, my life just kind of like started going in another direction. Yeah. And so during COVID it was like the perfect timing of, and actually I'd filed for divorce before COVID hit, but it was a perfect timing of like exiting and finding solutions through that Chaos. Yes. You know, it gave me an opportunity. Yeah. Everything was changing anyway. So, so it was like yeah it it knocked me off that course where the whole reason we hadn't done anything is that we had two businesses at the time. Well, no, at the time we had just closed the one. So we had an infant. Yeah. We had a restaurant. We had a house. We had another older child. Yeah. How are we gonna like tear all this apart? Sure. It takes both of us. Yeah. But COVID like shifted all that. Yes. And it, didn't necessarily need both of us and it did change the way we were doing it. So everything kind of like. Yeah. There was no staying the same anyway during COVID. Nothing was going to stay the same. So why not pivot into happiness? Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And now you're in a place where you're in control of your life and you're fully able to lead in the way that you want to lead and live the life you want to, the way you want to live it, which is awesome. Yeah. Yeah. Just so that's really an awesome thing. change that you made there, girlfriend. Yeah. So the turkeys ended up being my friendsgiving and that's how it all spun that's everybody brought something. That was the first one. I sent out like 70 texts and like almost 40 people said, yeah, I could be there within like three days of the, it was on a Tuesday, right after Thanksgiving. Yeah. And I was like okay why have my kids Sunday, Monday, Tuesday morning, so i could do it tuesday night. Let's just do that. We're closed. Yeah. So that was our Friendsgiving. So that's why it's always on a Tuesday. And that was the beginning of it. We never miss a Friendsgiving the Tuesday after Thanksgiving for the last three years. Then I was like, well, I'm a little controlling. So I don't think everybody can bring the food anymore because it was like very not cohesive. And so let me do the food. Everybody just donate some money towards the cost and we'll just do it. Yeah. And we didn't do the flowers before. It was very like just friends and people I knew, writers, photographers, anybody in the industry involved. Kids, moms that I had met, people like you who I've grown up with, parents of people that I grew up with. Yes. And that's who it was that were making up it for the first two years. That's so fun. Then people would come in going, how do I get an invitation to this thing I keep hearing about and seeing people's posts that I know on? Right. And I'm like, oh, well, it's kind of like people I know. It's not really open to the public. But let me see if we can, like, invite somebody that maybe... And so sometimes I would like have a client that I was a little closer to like, okay, well, yeah, you can join us. Sure. And then it was like, well, why don't we open up? The whole point of this is to be about surrounding women all together. Yeah. And there are people I don't know too that would be great to be able to connect with. Yes. And so now we've had people from all different areas find us. I mean, two or three times ago, there was this whole group from like Fullerton and I'd love to have the manager dinner where we could maybe bring some of our people in. It would be so fun. Yeah, my staff joined. So all my female staff that are able to, they're part of it. Instead of being a worker, they help because they know where everything is. But they're joining as a part of it because it's so important for them to see and be in what I'm trying to create. Yes. And it inspires them to do. That is so fun. Yeah, yeah, you're leading. You are leading by example, friend, and you're doing it. You absolutely are. Lindsay, thank you for sharing your journey, for reminding us that leadership doesn't always come from a corner office. Sometimes it's found in a kitchen on a busy Friday night where community is built one plate, one story, and one act of service at a time. You've shown us that longevity isn't just about business. It's about heart. And the true secret to success is showing up, even when it's hard, and keeping your doors and your heart open. Thank you so much for being on the show. Yeah. Thank you for listening to The Manager. Please like, subscribe. You can find Lindsay at? NirvanaLaguna.com and on Instagram and social media at Nirvana.Laguna. Nirvana.Laguna. Amazing. Well, thank you so much for being here. We are so happy to have you. And if you like this show, please- Share it with somebody. If you think it might inspire somebody, share it, send it out. Please give us a review on Apple and or wherever you find us. We would really appreciate it. And subscribe. Thank you. Bye, guys. Thank you.