Parenting as Leadership: Kristina Campos on Playing the Long Game | Ep 55

Are you running a household, raising humans, managing a million moving pieces — and nobody ever called it leadership? That's about to change.

In this episode, Aimee Rickabus talks with Kristina Campos, founder of The Impactful Parent and parenting educator with 20+ years of classroom experience, about why parenting is the most underestimated leadership role in society — and what to do about it.

Kristina shares:

• Her closet floor moment — how divorce shattered her identity and sparked her reinvention
• The "long game" parenting strategy that pays off big when kids hit their teenage years
• Why "it's not your life to live" is the hardest truth every parent needs to hear
• How 15 minutes of daily one-on-one time with each child changes the family dynamic
• Navigating smartphones, social media bullies, and raising kids in a world we never experienced

Whether you're a mom in the middle of a life transition, a parent trying to figure out screen time, or a woman wondering if the invisible work she does at home even matters — this conversation will remind you that what you're doing is not just parenting. It's leadership.

🔗 CONNECT WITH KRISTINA CAMPOS: Instagram: @impactfulparenting Website: https://theimpactfulparent.com/

🔗 CONNECT WITH THE MANAGE HER: Website: https://www.themanageher.com Instagram: @themanageher Full show notes: https://www.themanageher.com

Transcript

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🎶 Music Outro 🎶 What if parenting is actually one of the most powerful leadership roles in society, but we've just never recognized it that way. Today's guest understands something that many of us feel in our bones, but rarely say out loud. Parenting isn't just raising children. It's shaping the future. I actually met today's guest when I was a guest on her podcast. And now she's returning the favor and joining me here on The Manage Her, which I love because we immediately realize that we share a passion for supporting parents and recognizing the real work that happens inside the home. Kristina Campos is the founder of The Impactful Parent, a parenting educator, coach, and podcast host who spent more than 20 years working with children at every stage in development from preschool all the way through high school. After years in the classroom, Kristina started noticing something important. If we really want to help children succeed, we have to start at the source, the home. So she made a bold move. She left teaching and created The Impactful Parent, an organization dedicated to helping parents navigate the real challenges of raising school-aged children through her podcast, coaching, social media, and her free parenting app. She's giving parents something we all need more of. Practical tools, perspective, and support. She's also the mother of four children spanning a wide range of ages and experiences. So she brings both professional expertise and real-life parenting wisdom to this conversation. Christina, I'm so happy to have you here today at The Manager. Thank you so much for being here with me. Yeah, thank you. Oh my gosh. So you Kristina, you spent more than 20 years working with children in the classroom across every grade level, like from preschool to everything. Right. So when did what did you start noticing about the connection between what happens at school and what happens at home? Oh, my goodness. Well, I mean, right. It's just what that's why I wanted to go into this profession is it all starts in our home and we're just all trying to do our best. And it's just exhausting. And nobody ever talks about and gets any help. And this whole parenting thing, I feel like that's where I really saw the disconnect is the kids were coming into the classroom, bringing all the stuff they had from home. And I don't think the parents really got it. And so I wanted to bridge that gap. I love that. So at some point you made a really big leap, leaving teaching to focus on helping parents directly. What did you see that made you realize the real leverage point was the home? Was there like a specific thing? Not really anything specific. It was really like my own experience with my own four children, you know, all of them being so, so different. And just from, it's amazing how you can think that you got it all figured out with one kid and then the next one comes along and nothing works. I think that's really where it started coming from. And then to jump into the impactful parent was just, it was life. throwing, you know, curveballs at me kind of out of necessity. I was, I needed a shift out of teaching. Yeah. And you shared with me that the impactful parent really emerged during a major life transition in your own life. And so many of the women listening to the show find themselves reinventing themselves during seasons of change, like divorce, career shifts, their children growing up or realizing they just want to do something different. Could you take us back to that moment? What was happening in your life that led you to start the podcast and step into this work? Yeah, 100%. That was me. Okay, so it was so bad. You know, I was crying a lot because I was going through a divorce. My husband left and I was completely beside myself. And so I was doing a lot of crying in my closet. And for me, the closet is that place in your home where you know where I'm talking about if you're a mom and you have multiple kids. It's that place where, you know, you go and hide to go either talk to your girlfriend quietly or cry so that nobody sees you or, you know, it's that little secret spot. For me, that's my closet. At some point during that huge transition said, I got to pull my shit together because I got these four people who are dependent on me and I can't keep wallowing in this sadness. Like I have to keep moving forward for them, for anything else. You know, I struggle. stripped my body off of the floor of the closet and went into the mirror. And when I looked into the mirror, I just didn't even recognize myself. I realized that I had completely lost myself in motherhood and in my marriage. And then at that point, you start to question a million things. And, you know, if I'm doing this, should I be doing that? Do I even like this? What am I going with am I going to What am I going to do? How am I going to? I was in my late 30s, early 40s through that divorce. And it was it felt like a midlife crisis. And it was a huge shift. But but when I started looking at like, how do I regain me? How do I go back and regain who I am so that I can push forward for my kids? A lot of it came down to. what is it that I like to do? And I really did like helping people. I love teaching, but teaching was just getting so hard. It's really hard in the classroom nowadays. I thought, I still want to help kids, but where else can I help kids without working with them directly? And that's indirectly in from the home, helping the parents. And that was how I figured out how I was going to be able to help kids. But it all, you did come in life, you know, transitions. It's out of necessity. Something in the universe pushes you to go to that next level. Absolutely. And when you look back now, do you see that transition as something that broke things apart or something that revealed the next version of you? Oh, both. Absolutely. It had to break me apart in order to build the next version of me. So both a hundred percent and that breaking is not easy and it's not fun. And, oh, I mean, I know it's growth and I don't understand why growth has to hurt so bad, but it sure does. Yeah. Well, I think when we're comfortable, it's like you, you don't move, you know, it's like, I'm stuck. I'm sitting, I'm so comfy. I'm just gonna stay right here. But when you're uncomfortable, it's like, oh, I've got it oh, I'm gonna move this is not comfortable at all. And it's, that's the nature of it is, you know, you gotta get really uncomfortable to make big changes yeah you have to try those new things. Otherwise you stay placid and, you know, it's like, no. But it's hard. None of that is easy. It's so much easier said than done talking about it now in retrospect. But yes, looking into that mirror, I was completely lost, had to rebuild all over again. And when I was trying to figure out how to help kids and then families after that, after that, to focus on parents to help, you know, I wanted to podcast. It just sounded like a great way to reach people and to have them connect. Awesome. So do you think that sometimes the hardest seasons are actually the incubator for our purpose? Oh, my goodness. I think that it's definitely an incubator for whatever we're supposed to learn next in life. Like, I don't know if that's your purpose necessarily, going through something really, really difficult. But it is sent to you for something to learn, to grow from it. And the lessons, like I said, hurtful. So painful, for real. So on this show, we talk a lot about invisible labor, especially the mental and emotional management that happens inside families. Do you think parenting is one of the most overlooked leadership roles in our society? 100%. Again, that's all we do as leaders. And when we run households, it is just like running a business more than anything else. And you are multitasking. And I think that a lot of moms who aren't naturally gifted in multi-management and entrepreneurship, they need to give themselves a break because that is a lot of what motherhood is. And scheduling and, you know, assigning and delegating projects and things. And if you don't delegate, then you're doing everything yourself. And, oh, I mean, it's tiring just saying it like this. So... Yes, please give yourself grace if that isn't your strength because it's exactly what motherhood looks like. Yeah, totally. Leadership. It really is. And when you look at strong families, what are some of the leadership skills the parents are actually practicing every day, even if they don't realize it? I think it's how to collaborate. I think that is the main thing. Because when I see families, the dynamic can be completely different. For example, with me and my ex-husband still, we are still a good team, even though we're not together anymore. We still co-parent really well. And other people would not be able to co-parent in our dynamic because we choose very traditional roles. As far as he is a breadwinner and I am a caregiver and that's where we follow into our suit. But together we complement each other and that's where The magic happens. So if you need 50-50 with your partner, then I think it comes down to that. Parenting is how you're, you know, you're with your partner and how are you doing that successfully? And if you don't have a partner, that's fine too. Like, how are you delegating things like that? Still, who are you? How are you working with the people around you? And are you playing to people's strengths? And are you not? But again, I don't think, I think we get caught up so much in how other people do business. per se, like how other people run their families. And we say that has to be the way we're going to do it. And I think we need to get away from that a lot because it's more about what do we need to do to make our household run well. And again, I know a lot of people would not be able to even hang in the kind of relationship I have with my ex-husband, but for us, it's magic. Totally. Yeah. You don't have to be married to someone to be in a partnership with That person's like co-parenting. You're still in a partnership with that. You can be, you know, if, and it's funny, but you're looking at strong families from the point of view of having two functional parents that are collaborating well together, regardless of whether they live in the same household or not. So I think that's a really strong and modern perspective on parenting actually. And families, modern families. Yeah. So you're, you're not just a parenting expert. You're a parent of four kids yourself with a big age span and How has parenting different stages of kids shaped the way you think about raising them? Ooh, that you need to play to the long game. Like if I can give you one piece of advice today to listen to that with parenting, it's that don't forget you're playing the long game because so many times we do things to, it's just easier. When your toddler is just like screaming and yelling, Let me put on the shoes. I need to put on my shoes. Stop it. I want to put on my own shoes. And you're like, let me just do it. I need to get out of here. We got five minutes. So then you just tie their shoes for them and they scream and they yell. Again, that's okay. Maybe for one day, we got it out the door. We get it, right. But like life happens. But overall, you need to play the long game. And that is teaching them how to tie their shoes, even if it takes a long time to get out the door so that they'll be able to do it themselves that you no longer have to do it later on in the future. So like anything else and pertaining even to your podcast, Amy, talking about business, like sometimes you have to put in so much extra effort and time, time, parents, time, so much time into your kids in the beginning, investing in certain skills. I'm going to say again, time teaching them skills like you were to teach anybody else like an employee so that you can then walk away later. That's a long game. Instead of I'm just going to do the dishes because you don't do them right. And I can't take it anymore. Yes. But what would you do with an employee? And there is some of that stuff, too, where, you know, it's something we got to say that's good enough. And it can't be exactly how we're going to do it. But there is a give and take there. And I think that that's what we forget about as parents. Sometimes when push comes to shove and life just gets so busy and crazy and we forget to play the long game. Instead, we want to do it short and easy and quick because we're tired. Yeah. No, you're so, so right. It's that investment of time and attention and presence in that moment to get your return on investment of not having to tie their shoes later on in life or not having to wash their dishes later on in life or teaching them how to do their laundry. Even if they're not going to do it right, they might ruin some shirts of theirs and But in the long run, you're right. We're investing in these people so that they can have systems management for themselves, creating their own SOPs for them to manage their own systems and teaching them how to manage their own systems. Because if we don't, then we're going to have to do it for them until they find someone else to do it for them because they never learned how. That's 100% it. And parents don't realize that that time invested when they're young, it pays off when they're teenagers. All of that time management stuff, doing things on their own, that's all cognitive functioning that they need in order to be able to manage homework, manage multiple classes later. It'll pay off. It's just so tiring and I get it. That's why we need support groups because it's an exhausting career to be a parent and you gotta stick with it. Yeah, totally. I was talking to Dr. Danielle Dowling about this, her book, Good Girl, Bad Mom, and she's like, beat motherhood as a job. You know, and it really is. It's this job, but it's also this leadership academy. We're leaders and we're teaching our children how to lead. We've forgotten that it is our job in our homes, that our home, no matter if your kids are going to school or not, your home is still a school. It's still a place where you're teaching leadership to your children. You're still teaching them systems management, project management, domestic management, you know, all of the things that they're actually really going to need in life. They're really learning under your roof. The actual life skills of how to manage a home. You know, everybody has to eat. Everybody has to cook. Everybody has laundry. Everybody has a dirty toilet. All of these things that we can teach them under our roof are actually these huge return on investments for our children in their long-term lives. They make some good human beings. That's right. Yeah. So you've been really open about raising children with diverse identities and experiences and What has parenting taught you about meeting your children where they're at rather than where we expect them to be? I think that it's just so important to see them. That's how they get seen is when you meet them where they're at. When we're assuming that they need to be somewhere else or how they expect to be that you're talking about where we're projecting. And when you meet somebody where they're at, you're actually seeing who they are. I go through, there's like pillars of parenting that I talk about, you know, all the time, but one of the pillars of parenting that I talk about from time to time is acceptance and that your child really needs to feel like they're accepted by you and their authentic self. This is especially important for toddlers, teenagers, and girls between the ages of like 8 and 13 who are discovering who they are and trying on different hats to see what fits them best, right? And they want to know as they're their parent that you're going to accept them for whoever they choose to become. They want their parents to look beyond their choices, their grades, their choice of friends, their music, their clothes, and truly accept them for who they are inside. And that's where meeting your kid where they're at and not pushing them really comes into play and why it's so, so important for them. I love that. That's so beautiful. I feel like it's the same thing in like a beautiful partnership too. Honestly, like when you're husband and wife and you can just see each other for who you are and accept each other, that's something that has just been revealed to me in this season of my life. And I'm like, wow. But yeah, I love that. I feel like it was always really easy for me to see my kids and meet them where they were at. Like I would, Just love them as little people and who they're becoming as human beings as they are moving on their journey towards adulthood. It's just amazing. Yeah, that's such good advice. I love that advice. You built the impactful parent ecosystem, coaching, podcast, resources, and now a free app for parents. What gap were you trying to fill for parents that you felt wasn't being addressed? I think help in the middle of the night really was what I was trying. do. A place where somebody can go and just get an idea and some resources of where to be. And that's what I created the Impactful Parent for because that was me. I was having trouble with all of my children. Well, not all of my children, but at one point in all of their lives, that kid will challenge you. Every kid is going to challenge you. So if they haven't challenged you yet, they're going to. It's coming. And when you're going through that challenge, whatever you're doing with ever that kid does. And again, it doesn't make you a bad parent. This is just parenting. We all go through challenges in our parenting with each of our kids. Some of us more than once, right? But to have, I felt alone when I was going through mine. I was like, this is, why are we alone? I know other people are going through this. I know I want to go online, but I don't have time to read a million books about what to do. And then I felt like I don't know what resources anymore are were really what I wanted to trust. I mean, people parent so differently. That's where I was coming from. I was coming from, let me help parents so I can help kids so we can make better kids in the future. But let's help parents because it was such a lonely place for me and myself too. That's where the app came into play. Cause I thought, you know, when I know I did my, most of my worrying in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep and I You wake up in the middle of the night and you're like, what do I do? I don't want to scroll. You don't want to go on the Google machine because that could be a scary hole in the darkness. And so that's where the app was born. It was like, well, maybe if people who resonate with me and my parenting and what I have to put out, because again, I don't resonate with everybody, but if you resonate with me, I'm going to give you a platform where you can go through and find just about anything that you might be looking for, some tips and advice, some things you might want to try. And then... resources for you as a parent, whatever you might be going through from, gosh, the app has so many things from how do I get my child to stop procrastinating to what do I do about ADHD meds to what's a good curfew. I try to hit like so many topics so that parenting doesn't have to be lonesome and scary anymore. We have at least something to go off of. I love that. What kind of challenges are you seeing parents coming to you with right now? Right now, I see a lot of LGBTQ parenting troubles because it's very difficult, you know, especially with everybody's different belief systems and the kids' belief systems. And there's been some clashes in just how things are progressing in the world. It's a difficult topic and it's very sensitive. So I see a lot of that. And then I think I see a lot of You know, it's like that anxiety, depression, and anger management, too, in so many kids right now that parents are trying to mitigate and really minimize, of course, because they're worried. And that's the problem. The kids, it's a hard world, and we're all trying to do our best, but things are changing and moving so quickly. And our kids today, they are the first to experience what they're experiencing, and It's really unfortunate that the parents can't really identify with what's happening with the kids nowadays because our worlds have just been so vastly different and changed. Yeah, like social media and the influence of the smartphone and all those kinds of things. Yeah, I was talking to my nanny about that this morning, actually. We're trying to say, you know, our kids are being raised by an algorithm that we aren't privy to. So that's like, how do you? It seems like a pretty challenging thing. Sometimes it's just like, oh, take the phone away, you know? take a break. What do you do? Oh, it's hard, and i scaffold a lot, which is like, you know, present my kids privileges and in in different like you give a little bit, then you give a little bit more. That's a little bit more. That's scaffolding, depending on how they do one. Oh, you did good here? Okay, now you're ready for this responsibility, and you get it out a little bit more. But it's so hard. See, our bullies, back when i'm a gen xer so i'm like i would be 50 this year, but our bullies we're at school and today our bullies are in our back pocket. The phone is our detriment, but it's also our social lifeline for children. And so there's these really horrible oxymorons happening where like, yes, you want to take away all this electronics, but in reality, the electronics will never go away. So we really have to teach kids how to manage their electronic anyway, because we got to just give them the tools they need to navigate it because we can't actually get rid of electronics. We can't. actually eliminate it. I mean, such a small percentage of people can go and live with no Wi-Fi in the wilderness and take their kids with them. So unless you can do that, now we're talking about teaching them how to navigate a world that we never learned how to do when we were that age. And so it's like we're coming from this higher wisdom, but not really because we never really experienced it. And so again, it's just really difficult. Parenting is hard right now. Oh, so hard. So, yeah. Well, it's just we're so out of our element. It's not like we're raising kids that are living the same kind of in the same kind of world that we lived in in the in the 90s. You know, it's it's quite different now. It's quite, quite different. So I'm glad. Dare you dare you giving those kinds of tips on the app? I'm so many. And there's all kinds of how to manage social media, you know, different recommendations for block. you know, that you can use, you know, and then even great videos on what do you do if you catch your child, you know, surfing, looking through porn, you know, just about anything that you could think of. I've made a topic on there's, there's some help. That's awesome. Yeah, that really is awesome. We all need this right now. So you started podcasting at the same time you began building the business, this business, many women are discovering that podcasting can actually be a form of entrepreneurship. How has podcasting supported or shaped the growth of the impactful parent? Well, it's my most fun thing. I love it. I'll say that. I love the interviewing. So shaping it and, you know, it's been how I get to meet people. And more than anything, it's how I get to connect with my audience. So I love that they can hear my voice and then send me a message and send me an email or leave me a comment on social media, whatever that looks like. So it's a connection piece. And then it's also an exploration piece for me. It's how I continuously learn things. in this business because I'm always interviewing new people who are teaching me new things and keeping me updated on the newest stuff. That's exciting for me. That's my jam. I love doing that. So that's how podcasting has really helped my business and allowed me to still continue to grow. That is awesome. Yeah, I find the podcasting part of it to be so fun. But I'm a social animal and I love meeting new people and you really can meet so many people, so many cool people podcasting just like you. Podcasting is interesting because you're not just building a business. You're also contributing ideas into the broader conversation of society. Do you see podcasting as a form of leadership? Of course. Yeah, I do. Some of the podcasts out there are not necessarily, you know, they're good and bad leaders, or I should say negative and positive leaders, or leaders that you resonate with and leaders that you don't. But I definitely think they're all leaders of some sort. It's about giving... people a voice and it does allow you to do that podcasting does allow you to amplify your voice and find the followers that resonate with you so in that we're definitely thought leaders and and leaders in just verbal expression like we're creating that platform and saying come on and tell us what you think like yeah Yeah, when someone starts a podcast, they're essentially lending their voice to the collective consciousness and they're shaping how people think about parenting and family and relationships. Did you realize that responsibility when you first started speaking into the microphone? No, I don't think so. I think in the beginning I was doing it just to get my word out, be like, hey, I'm not here, anybody. You know, like, hello. And then over time, you know, because in the beginning, it's like throwing spaghetti at a wall. You want to see what sticks and what you enjoy. And I wanted to do something different. But it's really grown to be something cool and very, very advantageous. Yeah, I love it. For the women who are listening who might feel called to start a podcast or share their voice, what would you say to someone who feels like they have something important to say, but they're not sure exactly where to begin? I would say that podcasting is way easier than you think. I don't think that you need to get anybody fancy to purchase, you know, to actually get started. And I would say Google it. I Google everything. I Google how to do just about everything, especially household chores and work. I can fix just about anything in the house as long as I can lift it with my arms. That's what I would do. I would start with just Googling it and seeing how can I get started on this? Because it's really a lot simpler than you think. And then just try it out. It's not actually that expensive to get going either. So it's kind of a low-risk hobby. And if you look at it as a hobby that's just fun, then I think, you know, what do you got to lose? Try it out. And if it resonates, then you can get serious. I love that. That's great advice. You also shared that you're currently going through another major life transition, ending the 10-year relationship, And now you're reflecting on what you're going to do next. Life has these seasons where everything shifts and we're asked to reevaluate who we are and what we want. How is this moment shaping the way you're thinking about your work and your life moving forward? Yeah, I'm going through another shift. So that's been fun. Again, all that painful growth. And this time around, I'm trying to recognize that painful, scary place that sometimes you can get into in big transitions is really just the universe pushing you into your new version of yourself. And so this time I'm trying to really stay open to the possibilities of what might be coming. I'm trying to stay flexible with where I think people might need me in the future. So it's never whatever is what you think it's going to be. Whatever plan I have in my brain, it never works out like that. It's always a version of something. And so this time I'm trying to be smart about that. And just remember that it's not going to be exactly how I think and imagine in my brain that it's just it's going to it's going to work out. It's going to be fine. And just to roll with it a little bit and be open to all those possibilities. Yeah, I love that. That is a good way to look at those big transitions in life. It's like the more you are willing to surrender to the changes that are happening in your life, the easier they are. Yeah. That's a great word. It is that. It's surrendering. And it's, again, not easy. None of this today is easy. Oh, yeah. No, none of it is easy. No, surrender is not easy. But it can bring this, like, grace and ease to, like, the next steps. Like, as we... I love being a grown-ass lady because it's so much easier at this age than it was when we were younger. You know, like, I bet your first divorce, like, 10 years ago or... however long ago it was, the last decade, you know, how much more difficult it was the first time around. Because, you know, we're just in a different place. We're so defined by our relationships in our 30s. And as we become the women that we're becoming, it seems like we handle these transitions with more grace and more ease and more surrender. And it just seems like this natural thing for us as women. Yeah, I definitely feel this time around. I just... I take comfort knowing that I survived it the first time and that I could do it again. I don't know why that makes me feel more comfortable about it, but it does make me hold the pain and uncomfortableness. And I say pain because it literally hurts your chest, like heartbreak and change like this literally is chest constricting. It's ridiculous how your nervous system does that. But to recognize it this time around and not let it completely consume me. And this time I got way better coping mechanisms, you know, to lean on too and things like that. So I think all that's really important to remember as we grow. We got, we can do this. Yes, we can do this. Yeah, change happens. It's a big part of life. And it's one of those things that, you know, the more resilient we are as parents and as leaders too, because it does, our ability to make transitions in life with resiliency really affects our people and it's it's nice that you're feeling more resilient in this transition this time around yeah for your people, for your children, you know? Yeah. Yeah. It's good. I'm proud of you. So when you look ahead to the next season of your life, what feels the most exciting or the most unknown right now? oh I think all of it feels exciting. I do feel like, because I do like change. I do like things new and changing coming in. I love growth. So it's just this part that you're in right I mean, right now is the crap season. I wish we didn't have to go through it to get to the other side. But I think I'm looking forward to, you know what I'm looking forward to? I'm looking forward to being able to breathe. You know, when you're so stressed out and you're going through really big, hard times, like right now, I've been having a hard time breathing. Because life just feels really heavy on my shoulders, on my chest. That's what I'm looking forward to. That's when you know that it's okay again when suddenly you're like, ah, I can breathe. Like this feels right. I'm going in the right direction. It's not even about where I'm going. It's about that I'm going there. And so I know we talk about that a lot, you know, the journey, but it's such cliche, but it is, that's what I'm going to look forward to. Cause I, since I don't know where I'm going, I'm not looking at being excited about that end goal. Instead, I'm trying to focus on I'll know when, cause I'll be able to breathe again. Yes, you will. You'll be able to breathe again. I remember that point in my, cause I divorced in my thirties and it was, I remember that exact moment. I remember the moment that I woke up and I was at my dad's house is the day after I was like, this is done. And man, the world was in technicolor. Like the sky was so blue and the grass was so green and the world just felt lighter and brighter. And I was like, wow, I made it. I made it. And there was still like a lot of healing to do, but. I had made it through like the hardest part of the storm in my life. And that's, yeah, you're on the journey, girl. I'm proud of you. You're getting there. You're almost there. Do you feel like transitions like this change the way we show up in our work, especially work that's rooted in helping others? Yeah. And not always for the good too. Sometimes I feel like when we're going through these transitions, I hate to say it, but like I have, I've, I've cut down a lot of my clients right now because I don't have the emotional fortitude to sit there and give the way I normally would be able to give. Right. And so I want to acknowledge that too, because yes, of course, you know, it changes you. And yes, it's going to, once I get past and I'm able to breathe, wow, look how much I've learned. now. Look what, how much more I can share now. And I know that's what people were expecting me to answer. They're like, yes, like, of course that's there. I am looking forward to that. But right now, also, we're people too. Like, you're a therapist, you're a coach, you're teachers, you're, you know, the doctors that you go to. You're all your service workers. They're people too. And it does affect work. And I think a lot of times we don't give ourselves the grace we need to realize that it's okay to do that. Now, it can't affect my work forever. Like, you can't let that happen. And so you have to kind of put boundaries on yourself. I think that's also important. But yeah, I mean, it's a balance, right? You need your boundaries and you need to let yourself go and do it and acknowledge that it's going to affect your life. Yeah. I mean, having the boundaries around allowing yourself to take the time to process your emotions when you're going through something big takes a lot of emotional intelligence. And that's also a leadership skill. So, you know, good job. Good job for recognizing that and good job for giving yourself the time and the space that you need to process what you're going through right now because you're going to take all of this experience and it's going to turn into something beautiful on the other side. It will be something that will be, you know, you'll be able to give and help more on the other side of it. But sometimes we have to take the time, be like, ah, I'm in a season of my life where I need to, you know, even trees need to lose their leaves sometimes just to protect themselves. Yep. That's it. That's exactly where you're at. Absolutely. So parents today are navigating a very different world. Technology, social media, cultural shifts, and mental health challenges. What do you think is the biggest thing parents today are getting right? Effort. I think there is a lot more parents out there giving out 100% effort than they used to. They may not be doing it right, but But the effort is there, and I really feel like that should be applauded. We complain about hover parents and helicopter parents. Again, they're not necessarily doing it right, but thank God for them caring a lot about their child. And I think that is one thing that is going good right now. I don't think, I mean, there's always going to be bad stuff, but parents are caring. The next step after that is I wish more parents would seek help And that's going to be the sad part of this double-edged sword is I feel like there's more parents that care, but less that are actually getting the help that they need on it. Which is why I have the impactful parent because there's a stigma about asking for help with parenting. And it's also really hard to find somebody who resonates with your similar type of parenting style. So I think there's a lot of things there that's hard for parents just to get help. But they care enough. but they just sit there and then there's a lot of spiraling in the home. Like they're just sitting there going, oh, I wish I knew what to do. I wish I can get them to stop whatever, but they're stuck, but they don't stop caring. Yeah. Yeah. It's totally, you're so right. There's a lot more effort than there was with our generation. I mean, our parents were just busy and gone. We were the latchkey kids, totally different generation. And I really do think across the board, the parents right now are putting in the effort. They really do care. about their kids. That's nice. That's really nice. It's really nice. You're up to next. So you're like, that's nice. Like, good job. You guys actually care. That's so cool. But yeah, you're right. I think we can use technology to bridge the gaps. in having resources for parenting, just like you're using technology to bridge that gap and create resources for parenting. There could be more and more of that that would be available in very different parenting styles so that everybody can have their flavor of parenting. There's room there for that. You know, there really is. And I do think technology is going to fill a lot of these educational gaps for people. I'm hopeful. that we use the technology that's available to educate ourselves and get better and better as people, as parents, as leaders, as women, as mothers, as fathers. You know, I really do. I think that that's a huge potential for us there. But what is one mindset shift that could dramatically improve family life for parents who feel overwhelmed? That's a good question. Honestly, I'm having trouble just narrowing it down because I feel like there's so many things I would love to say. Unfortunately, the one that I'm like, oh god you guys want to edit this out is uh go for it. It's not your life to live. You may have given a life, but it's not your life to live. And that one really is hard for parents because we have a sense of ownership over our children. I mean, we all do. I do too right we just like we birth them we made them. They're Ours. Like, there's something about it. Like, there's an ownership. And we want so much for them. We love them so grandly that we want them to have, like, all the best things in life and that's the thing and we forget that it's not our life to live. At some point, we have to let go. That phrase that we might have given a life, but it's not our life to live, I come back to it a lot in my parenting over the years. And it helps me to remember, even though it's kind of sad that it's My goal here is not to keep this person forever. It's actually to let them go. And parenting is about letting them go little by little by little and equipping them with the tools they need to be on their own because it's not our life to live. It's so hard. Like when my kids made choices that I did not want them to make, I'd have to be like, oh, it's not my life to live. that they want to quit that team and take up this. And that's a big mistake in my brain, like, oh, but it's not my life to live, you know? And so again, I go, I say that so much just to remind myself that my children are very autonomous beings. And if I were to honor that more, that actually things end up kind of being okay. Like it's when I try to control them and like, push them in the direction I want them to go to, that really I find the most trouble. But really, it's not my life to live. I'm really here just to give them birth and give them guidance and give them tools. Absolutely. I think that's beautiful, actually. I love that. I have seen that in my own life. Absolutely. I remember, yeah, my mom definitely felt like she kind of owned my brother's life more than mine. I think she really wanted him to do things the most amazing things. And when, you know, it didn't go that way, I remember we were all sitting in a family therapy session. And I think that literally the counselor said something like that to my mother. And I think for me, I was like, oh, you know, I always felt like such an autonomous being, but you know, in some ways, yeah, it was, you know, there was this one, there was this aspect of ownership with him that was unhealthy. You know, it's unhealthy to feel, to have that ownership mentality over your kids. We don't own them. We're borrowing them. And we're not raising kids, we're raising adults. Ultimately, I hope my kids grow up to be very successful adults and they can adult very well and have good relationships and communicate with people and be good parents. But yeah, I think that's lovely advice. If every parent listening today could do one small thing differently tomorrow, what would make the biggest impact on their children? Spend 15 minutes with each one of your kids by themselves. I love it. 15 minutes. By themselves, though. By themselves. No spouse, no siblings. You and that kid. 15 minutes. I love it. We call those dates. Yeah. It's really actually hard to do, to do it consistently every single day. And you think 15 minutes isn't very long, but it's really just a check-in. I recommend the car, by the way. If you're in the car with them alone, I recommend the car. But go for a walk, do it before bedtime, do it in the morning. But just you and that kid. 15 minutes every day. It's magic. That is great advice. I love that. Some really quick ones here. What is one parenting mistake that actually turns out to be good for kids? I think when you are a little forgetful and they have to think on their feet and figure something out in spontaneously that wasn't expected. I think that's actually really good for them. Yeah, I like that. Why do you think parenting is one of the most underestimated leadership roles in the world? Because it's not paid. If it was paid, it would be way more respected. But that's why. We got paid for it. It'd be different. Absolutely. What do kids really need from parents that most adults overlook? A listening ear. Love it. If parents could only focus on one skill to raise successful kids, what would it be? That listening ear. Love it. communication. Love that. Oh, Kristina, this has been such a meaningful conversation. I love the work that you're doing because it reminds us that parenting isn't about perfection. It's about intention. And when we support parents, we're really shaping the next generation. If you'd like to learn more about Christina Campos and The Impactful Parent, you can find her podcast resources and her free parenting app at the impactful parent.com. And you can follow her across social media at the impactful parent.com. Christina, thank you so much for joining us today on The Manager. You're the best. Thank you so much.