The PGspot - The Pleasure Alphabet: It's Not Just About the "G"

For most vulva owners, sexual pleasure isn't just about penis in vagina sex.  In this episode, we will discuss the multitude of erogenous zones and how they were discovered.  So, whether you’re looking to level up your solo game, spark new things with a partner, or just get to know your body better, it’s time to unlock the whole pleasure spectrum -one spot at a time. 

If you want to learn more about sexual health, sexual dysfunction, or how to improve your sex life, follow me on Instagram at @thepgspot or check out my website at doctorpattyj.com for blogs and resources related to sex positivity and real talk about sexuality.  As as always, stay curious, stay empowered, and stay you.

Transcript

Patty 0:08

Welcome to the PG spot, where our goal is to take the X out of sex by breaking down the barriers that prevent open communication about sexual health. I'm Dr. Patty Jalomo, a dual certified nurse practitioner, pelvic floor therapist, and certified sexual counselor. I'm here to provide expert insights, debunk myths, and empower you to embrace your sexual wellbeing. Whether you're looking for answers or simply curious, join us as we open up the conversation around sex, intimacy and everything in between. I want to take this opportunity to acknowledge that some content may not be appropriate for all listeners. I'm a huge proponent of honest and accurate information regarding sexuality. But I'm also mindful that this should be age appropriate. Therefore, if you are under 18, this may not be the podcast for you. Additionally, some of the language used in this podcast may be offensive to some listeners. Please take these things into consideration before going forward with your consensual participation in this podcast. The opinions expressed by myself or my guests are just that, and these opinions are neither expected or required to be shared by all listeners. The information that is provided is for educational and entertainment purposes only, and should not be mistaken for individual medical advice if you do find the information that we cover in the PG spot. Helpful. Interesting or informative. Please rate and review the podcast wherever you're listening from. If you think this information is important, I would love for you to share it with your friends or family. This is a great way to get the information out to more people. So thank you for listening and let's get on with the show. Hey everyone. Welcome to the show since this is our first episode and the title of the podcast is referring to the G-spot. Today I want to take a look at a variety of erogenous zones for both vulva owners and penis owners. Also, I want to take this time to say that although it's always my intention to be inclusive of all genders and identities. Much of the research refers to cis male and cis female, meaning those who are assigned either male or female at birth. I absolutely respect everyone's autonomy and right to identify in whatever way feels authentic. But I do wanna clarify that in today's episode, I. Those terms may be frequently used. So a common complaint that I hear in clinic is that patients find it difficult to reach orgasm, and especially for women. Looking at a 2018 study from the Archives of Sexual Behavior, it looked at over 52,000 US adults and found that 95% of heterosexual men reported usually or always reaching orgasm during sex compared to 65% of heterosexual women. So why is that? Although there may be many reasons, some of the most significant ones aren't related to the genitals at all. So if I were to ask what is the largest sex organ in the human body, what do you think your response would be? Well, if you said the brain, you'd be correct. The brain is in fact the largest sex organ in the body, and if the brain isn't with it, then the body has a hard time following. So there's three significant blockers to orgasms, so we'll call those o blockers. The first one is shame. And shame can be very deep rooted from religious or cultural beliefs. And for many people it can be very difficult to overcome. It may be that we just didn't grow up in a family that openly discussed sex or sexuality or maybe didn't even openly show affection. And this can plant the seed for shame and it can greatly affect one's ability to see sex as a means of pleasure. The second O blocker is trauma. And trauma doesn't have to mean big T trauma such as physical or sexual abuse or war or living through a natural disaster. It could be what we call little T trauma, which is something smaller, but still significant like. Maybe being bullied in childhood or being told that we are fat or that we stink. You know, any of those things can induce trauma that can be carried through adulthood and negatively affect our relationships and our ability to feel confident in our bodies or to enjoy intimacy at all. Um, the third o blocker. Is stress. Now, stress is something that we all deal with, but when it comes to intimacy, we really have to just get out of our heads. No one can focus on pleasure or sensation when they're thinking about what to make for dinner or who's going to get the kids to practice. These are the main things that get in the way of enjoying intimacy or reaching orgasm, especially in women. Another cause of inability to orgasm can be related to anatomy. Now that's not to say that something is clinically wrong with someone's anatomy, although that could be the case, but more importantly, it's related to the fact that the female anatomy is just more complex than our male counterparts, and we experience pleasurable sensations in different ways. So it's important to understand. What is pleasurable to each partner, and that sort of leads into the next O blocker, which is a lack of education around sex. And I know you may be thinking that you're a grown adult, you've had lots of sex, so therefore you surely aren't lacking in education. But the problem often lies. And where we've gotten our education around sex and intimacy. So I don't know about any of you, but when I was in school, there was definitely a lack of adequate sex education in schools. I think our sex education was basically the boys and girls were separated and the. Girls were told about their periods, and I don't really even know what the boys' conversation was about. But then later in, maybe middle school, at high school age, it was really more about stressing abstinence or focusing on how to avoid getting pregnant or getting a sexually transmitted infection, but none of this had anything to do with female pleasure. So the next best thing was to learn from porn, which potentially is even worse. What do we get from porn? Except that every guy must have a huge penis and every girl is a size six that can get off from 30 minutes of constant pounding with penis and vagina sex. Right? And both of those things are very far from the truth. Porn is. Nothing more than scripted entertainment, but it's also where a lot of people first learn about sex. So the focus of today is to provide some real education about sex and some accurate descriptions of pleasure points on both female and male bodies. By taking the time to explore both our partner's body and our own, we can find that there are many erogenous zones and also many ways to orgasm. So we'll talk about why penis and vagina sex doesn't cut it for most women, because it doesn't stimulate the right spots, and usually it happens too soon. Research shows that it takes a female body approximately 15 to 20 minutes of stimulation before physical signs of arousal even occur. But for most people that I talk to in heterosexual relationships, penetration usually occurs approximately five minutes or so after initiation or after the first touch. So. For most of the female bodies, their body hasn't even had time to have physical changes of arousal before. We're already thinking about penis and vagina sex. So whether you're looking to level up your solo game or spark new things with a partner, um, maybe you're just wanting to get to know your body better. Today we're gonna learn about how to be curious, explore and redefine sex by looking at the whole pleasure spectrum one spot at a time. So let's start with the G spot. I. Which really isn't a spot at all. It's, it's more of an entire area. It's located about two inches inside the vagina, along the anterior vaginal wall. So this area is just below the skeens glands. The skeens glands produce fluid for female ejaculation. And, this. Area was named after Dr. Ernst Grafenberg, who was a German gynecologist. In the 1950s, he described an ous zone that could lead to intense arousal and orgasm. He was primarily studying female urethral stimulation and didn't even call it the G-spot himself, but he just described it in more clinical terms. So before the G-spot really even became a thing, it was just part of a scientific paper that he wrote. The actual term G-spot was coined much later in 1981 by Dr. Beverly Whipple and Dr. John D. Perry. They not only studied this zone, but they also gave it the name that stuck the G-spot in honor of Dr. Grafenberg, who was the original discoverer. And they published a book in 1982 titled the G-Spot and Other Recent Discoveries about Human Sexuality. And this is what really exploded the G-spot into public consciousness. But there's more. The A spot is also known as the interior fornix erogenous zone, and that's located deeper inside the vagina, near the cervix, along the anterior top wall. This was brought into the spotlight. Thanks to research by Dr. Chua Chee Anne, who is a Malaysian gynecologist in the early 1990s. So, Dr. Chua observed that stimulating this area could lead to immediate lubrication and also more of a, a deep orgasm, especially for women who had trouble with arousal. And he named it the a spot for the anterior fornix erogenous zone. So it's less well known than the G-spot, but many say that it can deliver more intense orgasms. And then to make things even more confusing, the O spot or orgasm spot is a term that emerged in discussions of female sexual anatomy, but it really lacks substantial scientific validation, proponents of the O spot suggests that while the a spot is located on the anterior vaginal wall just before the cervix, the o spot is described as being adjacent to or overlapping the cervix itself. So potentially lower or deeper than the a spot. And that just kind of depends on the anatomy, while both the A spot and the O spot are thought to be highly sensitive, the o spot is discussed more often in aesthetic gynecology and PRP therapy context. So PRP is platelet rich plasma. If any of you have ever heard of the OShot, this is where they draw blood from the patient, they spin it out, they separate the plasma and they call that PRP, and then that's what they inject into areas around the O spot. So the A spot, on the other hand, has been documented in a small number of clinical and anatomical studies, and it's important to remember that the variability in individual anatomy and also the subjective nature of sexual experience, can mean that those zones may or may not be universally present or sensitive in all individuals. And then tucked just above the vaginal opening and below the clitoris. Lies a sensitive area around the urethral opening, and that's called the U spot. And though U spot is not as widely studied as the G-spot or the A spot, sex educators and sexologists started. Paying attention to this zone early in the two thousands, and even though the name's unofficial, it's not yet a mainstream medical term. The U spot has earned a following in the world of sex positive education. It's a highly sensitive area, so lubrication and light touch are important when exploring the U spot. And then for some stimulation of the cervix are what has sometimes been called the C spot. Can be pleasurable, can cause deep, more full body orgasms described as slower building, maybe more emotional or cathartic than clitoral orgasms. Others could experience cervical stimulation as uncomfortable or even painful. So it truly depends on the person, the context, even the phase of the menstrual cycle. So because the cervix can be such a sensitive area, it's really crucial that stimulation is done gently with lots of arousal and consent for many, the arousal level significantly affects comfort, because one of the main physical changes that's associated with arousal is a slight widening of the upper vagina and elevation of the cervix. The more turned on you are, the more enjoyable that deep stimulation could be. And then of course there's the clitoris. So although this part of the female anatomy is pretty well known, it wasn't fully mapped in 3D until 2005, when Australian urologist, Dr. Helen O'Connell, used advanced imaging to reveal the internal structure of the clitoris. And that includes a wishbone shaped internal legs and bulbs. And prior to that, the clitoris was often left out of anatomy textbooks entirely. Science is still discovering many aspects of the clitoris. We now know that there are over 10,000 nerve endings in the clitoris, making it the most pleasure, dense structure in the human body. Also, interestingly, it's the only anatomical structure that is designed solely for pleasure with no other purpose at all. So what about the rest of the body? Well, it turns out that the body is basically a treasure map of turnons. There's lots of areas that can be considered erogenous zones. For example, a 2011 functional MRI study by Dr. Barry Komisurak showed that nipple stimulation activates the same region of the brain as genital stimulation, meaning the brain literally experiences it as sexual pleasure. People with vulvas can even experience nipple induced orgasms and nipple play can enhance arousal across the board. But what about other areas? So I bet you didn't expect the ears to be on the list. Right. The auricle or the outer ear and the ear lobe are both rich in nerve endings and connected to the vagus nerve, which plays a role in relaxation and even arousal. So what about penis owners? Well, vulva owners are more complex, um, with multiple erogenous zones in the genital area, but there's one area that can be sexually stimulating for both sexes. You know what I'm talking about? The back door, a k, a anal play. The anus has mini nerve endings that are very sensitive to touch and stimulation. Anal play is becoming much more accepted. Studied and experimented with. There are toys that are specifically designed for anal play and the best part is that everyone can experiment in this area. Just a word of advice. So if you are looking to explore anal play with toys, make sure that you purchase toys that are specifically designed for that. They should always have a larger base. Otherwise, you'll be on the next episode of"Sex Sent Me To The ER" so for penis owners, the prostate is a significant erogenous zone. Many describe orgasms from prostate simulation, much like the cervical orgasms of vulva owners. Kinda more of a full body, slower building, but very intense orgasm. The prostate is located about two to three inches inside the anus on the belly side, and it's sometimes referred to as the Now I mentioned the importance of lube for sensitive areas in vulva owners, but it's just as important here. Maybe more so with, anal play. So additionally, it really does take some preparation for pleasurable anal play. It should not be painful, so keep that in mind. They actually sell anal preparation kits, so just different sizes of butt plugs to get your muscle, used to that relaxation. So that really tells you that it is becoming more common and more acceptable. so those things are available in any toy store. So what do we have? G-A-O-U-C-P. Clitoris, nipples, ears, anus, thighs, the list goes on, right? So at the end of the day, pleasure isn't confined to one spot or one script. You know, there's so many ways to experience pleasure that don't involve penis in vagina or penis in anus penetration. Earlier I mentioned porn and the poor way that it portrays what pleasurable sex really is. But unfortunately, many see this. And then they mistakenly believe that penetration is the end all of a sexual episode, but it's often more important. To focus on outercourse rather than intercourse. So for example, a 2011 study in the Journal of Sex Medicine showed that only 10 to 15% of heterosexual couples did not include penis and vagina intercourse as part of their sex script. While nearly 65% of gay and bisexual men did not include penis in anus intercourse as part of theirs. And they found that the 12 most widely engaged in behaviors by gay and bisexual men in their most. Recent male partnered sexual events were, and I'm gonna read these off to you. Number one, gave oral sex, 75%, two kissed on the mouth, 74.8%. Three, received oral sex, 73.4%, four masturbated partner, 63.7%. Five held partner romantically. 62.8%. Six. Masturbated by partner, 62.4%. Seven. Genital to genital contact, 60.3%. Eight. Anal intercourse being the receptive partner, 35.5%. Nine. Anal intercourse being the insertive partner, 33.8%. 10 solo masturbation, 32.6%, 11 oral to anal contact, performing 25.4% and 12 oral to anal contact being the receiver, 26.1%. So speaking as such to a broader sex script and how these behaviors were put together, men's sexual repertoires were diverse with gay identified men reporting a total of 1,300 and. Eight unique combinations of behaviors and bisexual identified men reporting a total of 617 combinations during their most recent male partners sexual event. The number of behaviors varied with most events, including between five and nine different sexual behaviors, but interestingly, for heterosexuals, the average was typically one to two different sexual behaviors on route to penis and vagina sex. So really the key is curiosity. You know, exploring without pressure tuning into sensation, honoring what feels good in your own skin. There's really no one size fits all when it comes to pleasure, and that's what makes the journey so endlessly exciting. And you deserve pleasure. That feels true to you. And as a vulva owner, you deserve more than a 65% success rate when it comes to pleasure. So have fun exploring and until next time, stay curious, stay empowered, and stay you.

19:11

That's it for today's episode. Thanks for listening, and be sure to rate and review the podcast on whatever platform you're listening from and share it with your friends. That's a great way to help reach new listeners and make this a more sex positive world. Also, I'd love your feedback and questions, so send me a message. It's at email@doctorpattyj.com, and that's doctor spelled out, D-O-C-T-O-R-P-A-T-T-Yj.com. Until next time, stay curious, stay empowered, and stay you.