Attorneys Dedicated to Family Law

Ep#7: Can I Move Out of State with My Child? Relocation and Custody Laws in Virginia with Lauren Mearns, Esq.

• Curran Moher Weis • Episode 7

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Considering moving out of state with your child after divorce? The legal implications might be more complex than you realize. Family law attorney Lauren Mearns joins us to demystify one of the most emotionally charged and legally challenging aspects of post-divorce parenting.

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Lauren Mearns:

You know, most importantly, you have to think about how the benefits of this move would compare to the harm to the child's relationship with the other parent. So, for example, if you have a 50-50 custody arrangement and you're moving thousands of miles away, that relationship with the other parent just isn't going to be the same. It's going to be substantially impaired because the other party won't be able to maintain the type of contact or relationship that they would in a 50-50 agreement where you're seeing that child every other week or maybe a couple of times during the week.

Intro/Close:

Welcome to Attorneys Dedicated to Family Law, the podcast where our experienced attorneys at Curran Moher Weiss guide you through the complexities of family law, whether you're facing a divorce, custody dispute or financial matters. Our dedicated team is here to provide strategic insight and practical advice. Each episode, one of our attorneys will dive into key legal topics and help you navigate your unique situation with confidence. Let's get started.

Charlie McDermott:

Well, welcome back listeners and viewers. Charlie McDermott, producer of the show and joining me today is Lauren Mearns Esquire, a skilled family law attorney here at Curran Moher Weis. Lauren focuses her practice exclusively on family law, representing clients in divorce, custody and support matters throughout Northern Virginia. She is known for her compassionate, detail-oriented approach, helping clients navigate some of the most difficult transitions in their lives, both with empathy and strong advocacy. Lauren is also experienced in handling cases involving complex financial issues and high-conflict custody disputes. With a reputation for being thorough, thoughtful and dedicated to achieving the best outcomes for her clients, lauren brings both insight and practical guidance to every case she handles. Today we're diving into one of the most difficult and emotional custody questions parents face. Can I move out of state with my child? Relocation cases raise unique challenges in Virginia balancing parental rights, the child's best interest and the realities of long-distance parenting. Lauren, thanks for being here. How are you doing?

Lauren Mearns:

Hi, charlie, I'm doing well. How are you doing today?

Charlie McDermott:

Doing terrific and thanks for carving out time. Do you mind if I ask you a few questions there?

Lauren Mearns:

Of course, of course, go ahead.

Charlie McDermott:

So let's start with what are the first legal steps a parent should take if they're considering a move.

Lauren Mearns:

Sure.

Lauren Mearns:

So that question really depends on whether there's already a custody order in place.

Lauren Mearns:

If there is a custody order in place and the court requires that you provide notice of your new address and the date that you intend to move to that new address at least 30 days before your move so this notice needs to be given to the other parent and needs to be filed with the court prior to any relocation that happens.

Lauren Mearns:

It's important to note that this notice is required anytime you change your address, even if you're staying in your current neighborhood. So the thought behind this is sort of the court and the other parent need notice of where you and your child are residing. However, if you have a custody agreement in place, it is important to go through it and look specifically at the relocation provision, because if you negotiated your agreement outside of court, there is a chance that that notice provision is different than what the law requires. So the law only requires a minimum of 30 days written notice, but sometimes agreements will provide that parties need to give even more notice or will require that a party give additional information other than just the address and when they intend to relocate. If there's no pending litigation or custody order in place, you should still give the other side notice of your intended relocation and when you plan to relocate, as soon as you're able to.

Charlie McDermott:

All right, Well, good, good. So what then factors, Lauren? Does a judge consider when deciding if a parent can move out of state with a child?

Lauren Mearns:

Sure. So if this matter goes to court, the party who's seeking to relocate with their child has the burden to prove three things to the court. So the first is you need to prove that there's been a material change in circumstances since the date of the last order, and that's just sort of standard anytime you want to modify a custody or visitation order. The second is that the desired relocation would independently benefit your child's best interests, and so that best interest standard is defined by Virginia Code Section 20-124.3. And so those are factors like the age and health of each parent, the relationships between each party and each child, the role that each parent has played in the child's life and will play in the child's life, the reasonable preference of a child, that sort of thing. So sort of your standard custody factors.

Lauren Mearns:

The third factor, which is a bit different than a standard modification, is that the relocation would not substantially impair the relationship with the other parent. So you know, most importantly you have to think about how the benefits of this move would compare to the harm to the child's relationship with the other parent. So, for example, if you have a 50-50 custody arrangement and you're moving thousands of miles away, that relationship with the other parent just isn't going to be the same. It's going to be substantially impaired because the other party won't be able to maintain the type of contact or relationship that they would in a 50-50 agreement where you're seeing that child every other week or maybe a couple of times during the week. So you have to kind of compare that to a situation where, if the other party only has every other weekend and you're moving maybe 100 miles away that scenario, you're probably going to be able to keep the current schedule. So the change to the relationship between the parent and your child will not be as impacted because you can sort of maintain the status quo better.

Charlie McDermott:

Makes sense. Makes sense. So what happens if a parent moves without providing notice?

Lauren Mearns:

So if you move without providing notice, it's likely that the non-moving parent is going to file something in the court, so that would look like maybe a motion to modify custody and visitation or a motion to enjoin relocation.

Lauren Mearns:

So even if you move out of the state, virginia will still retain jurisdiction over custody and visitation matters until the child has lived out of state for more than six months. So the most important thing to remember if you're a parent trying to prevent relocation is that time is of the essence and you really only have six months to be able to file motion to enjoin relocation, where the court could potentially order that the child is not allowed to move, at least on a temporary basis. It is worth noting that one of the custody factors outlined in that Virginia Code, section 20-124.3, is how parties are able to co-parent. So, most importantly, you want to try to have a good faith discussion about your move prior to taking any sort of action. So that way, even if you can't resolve the matter without the court's involvement, you at least tried to make a real attempt with the other party to come to a resolution.

Charlie McDermott:

Okay, okay. So then how does relocation typically affect custody or visitation schedules?

Lauren Mearns:

Sure, if the court allows the party to relocate, depending on where the other person resides, the custody and visitation schedule is very likely to change, which is why most relocation cases typically turn into modification cases, and so with the change in schedule there may also come a child support modification, depending on how you or the court calculated the current child support amount, since those things go hand in hand as well.

Charlie McDermott:

Okay, okay, so then can relocation lead to a complete change in primary custody?

Lauren Mearns:

It could, it could. So I mean if you're operating under a 50-50 schedule, that's probably more likely, you know, to cause complete change because it's it's less drastic than, say, you know, if you're a parent who only has every other weekend and you're requesting to move with a child to another state. You know if you're a parent who only has every other weekend and you're requesting to move with a child to another state, you know that's less likely that the court all of a sudden does a 180 and now you're the primary caretaker. However, if it's closer to a 50-50 schedule, then that may be more likely where all of a sudden you know you move and you make the motion to modify the custody schedule. You know maybe you're more likely to have a complete change in primary custody but it's definitely less likely if you have less time.

Charlie McDermott:

Okay, so then Lauren, long distance visitation arrangements are they common? What do they look like?

Lauren Mearns:

Sure.

Lauren Mearns:

So long distance visitation arrangements are very common, especially in this region of the country where there are a lot of military families and a lot of families in the Foreign Service.

Lauren Mearns:

So a typical long-distance visitation schedule would be to alternate major holidays of sort of emotional or religious importance to the parties, and so you would alternate those major holidays each year.

Lauren Mearns:

But otherwise, typically we would give the long-distance parent visitation during the other extended school periods and three-day weekends. So this would include the summer break period, which is sort of the most contentious break to negotiate, and often the long-distant parent takes the majority of that summer break to make up for the time missed during the school year. So, however, the parents will sometimes negotiate the ability for both parents to take the child on a summer vacation for a week or two, even if one parent has the majority. But when trying to negotiate that sort of long distance custody schedule it is important to consider sort of who's going to bear the burden of these travel expenses and where is this visitation going to occur. So it might make more sense for the party you know who's long distance on a three-day weekend to come to where the child attends school or primarily resides, so that they're, you know, the child's not having to sort of uproot their entire schedule every single three-day weekend.

Charlie McDermott:

Okay, let's get into misconceptions. What are some common misconceptions parents have about their right to relocate with a child?

Lauren Mearns:

So many parents believe that the court will place primary consideration on the benefits that they will derive from the move, which makes sense. So you know, for example, you or your new spouse have a job offer somewhere else and you need to go, or you need to care for a sick relative in a different state. But unfortunately the court can really only consider a benefit to you if they find that the move independently benefits the child. So it's important to consider the benefits that your child may gain from the move first and foremost.

Charlie McDermott:

Okay, which I guess leads into this next question Are judges more likely to approve relocation if it's for a job or family support?

Lauren Mearns:

Sure. So while economic stability and family support are definitely understandable reasons for a relocation, the court has actually acknowledged that while those reasons are important and valid, they still will not consider these reasons without a showing that the relocation independently benefits the child, and that is also considering how that relationship with the other parent may be affected. So once that showing is made, a court may consider whether the move is for a job or a family support. But even if you're saying, well, I have this new job in a new state that pays better, you still need to put on evidence to show why that new job exceeds any job available to you in Virginia.

Charlie McDermott:

Okay, okay. How about parents who strongly disagree about the move? How do courts handle situations like that?

Lauren Mearns:

So often the result of a successful relocation case is that one party has to significantly alter the way that they're involved in their child's life, which is a really difficult change for parents to cope with. And because of that most relocation cases are cases where parents strongly disagree about the best outcome. But the law in Virginia is clear that the best interest of the children controls the issue of a change in custody or one parent's move to another state. So in cases like this go to trial. The court puts aside the party's disagreements to really focus on what they believe is best for the children.

Charlie McDermott:

Yeah, makes sense, makes sense. So what final advice would you give Lauren to parents facing this decision?

Lauren Mearns:

So I would tell parents, especially parents who are trying to decide whether they're going to relocate, who have primary custody, that having a discussion with the other parent before making a decision like this is a good way to mitigate, you know, an escalation or court involvement in a relocation.

Lauren Mearns:

And so oftentimes one parent sort of gets wind of a move indirectly and they interpret that as the other party being secretive or trying to hurt their relationship with the child and it can sort of have a snowball effect that spurs on court action that could have been sort of resolved with a conversation, especially because time is of the essence with a case like this. You know we talked about the six-month jurisdiction issue, so a parent may feel forced to file something with the court when the parties really could have been able to come to a resolution on their own. So I think I would recommend that the party who intends to move has a sincere discussion with the other about the pros and cons of the move, understanding that the idea of a child moving away is an extremely emotional topic for most parents. So hopefully, by approaching the conversation with transparency and honesty, the parties will be able to focus on negotiating the best way to modify the custody schedule after the move and sort of avoid a court appearance altogether.

Charlie McDermott:

Well, terrific, Lauren. Thank you so, so much for joining us today and sharing your expertise. Relocation and custody cases are some of the most emotional and complicated matters families face, and your insights have helped break down what parents need to know when considering such a big decision. Now, if you're navigating a custody matter, facing a potential relocation, or simply want to better understand your options under Virginia law, the attorneys at Curran Moher Weis are here to help. You can learn more about Lauren and the entire team of experienced family law attorneys by visiting curranmoher. com. That's curranmoher. com. And be sure to subscribe to Attorneys Dedicated to Family Law wherever you listen to podcasts and if you found today's discussion helpful, please take a moment to leave us a review. It really helps others find the show. Thanks again for tuning in and we'll see you all next time.

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That wraps up this episode of Attorneys Dedicated to Family Law. We hope you found today's discussion insightful. If you have questions or need personalized legal guidance, visit us at curranmoher. com. Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss our next episode, where another of our experienced attorneys will tackle an important family law issue. Thanks for listening. Until next time, we're here to help you protect what matters most.