Maggie Eats | Adderall Misuse, Alcohol Dependence & The Path to Radical Honesty

What happens when a popular foodie mom's secret struggle with prescription pills and alcohol catches up to her? In this episode of Recoverycast, we sit down with culinary creator Maggie Eats to explore her powerful addiction recovery journey. Maggie opens up about how balancing early motherhood and college led to abusing Adderall, navigating the chaotic world of doctor shopping, and eventually turning to alcohol as a dangerous coping mechanism when her prescription access vanished. Her authentic story sheds light on high-functioning substance use disorder and the heavy toll of hiding active dependencies from loved ones. 

Find mental health and addiction treatment near you: https://recovery.com/

Maggie details her ultimate turning point—being discovered by her husband during a 7 AM crisis and the subsequent cycle of entering a short detox, experiencing an early relapse, and finally committing to a full 30-day rehabilitation program. Now celebrating over three years of continuous sobriety, she shares how a structured daily routine, faith, and radical honesty on social media helped her rediscover her true self. This conversation offers deep insights into relapse prevention, overcoming deep-seated shame, and finding real joy in life after alcohol. If you or someone you love is navigating the path to healing, Maggie's vulnerability proves that a beautiful second chapter is entirely possible. 

Subscribe to the channel, leave a comment with your thoughts, and share this episode to spread hope to someone who needs it today! 

⏱️ Chapters:

• 
  
• 00:00 – Intro  
• 
  
• 00:42 – Welcome Maggie Eats  
• 
  
• 05:49 – ADHD Diagnosis & Early Adderall Misuse  
• 
  
• 10:07 – Shifting from Prescription Pills to Alcohol  
• 
  
• 14:26 – Hiding Substance Use as a Mother of Three  
• 
  
• 18:32 – The 7 AM Turning Point & Secret Habits  
• 
  
• 23:25 – Drunk Confessions & Handing Over Hiding Spots  
• 
  
• 25:15 – Detoxing, Early Relapse & Committing to 30 Days  
• 
  
• 28:03 – Embracing Radical Honesty on Social Media  
• 
  
• 35:00 – Building a Sober Routine & Advice for Healing  

❓ Questions the Video Answers:

1. How can balancing young motherhood and college lead to prescription stimulant misuse? 
2. What are the signs of high-functioning alcohol misuse in parents? 
3. What is doctor shopping, and how do digital tracking laws impact prescription drug loops? 
4. Why do individuals cross-addict to alcohol when their primary drug supply stops? 
5. How does a parent hide a severe drinking problem from their family? 
6. What physical withdrawal symptoms indicate a severe alcohol dependency? 
7. How can a spouse constructively confront a partner struggling with substance use? 
8. Why is a short-term detox program often insufficient for long-term recovery success? 
9. How can hidden triggers like cooking wine cause an immediate relapse? 
10. What role does a strict but flexible daily routine play in relapse prevention? 
11. How can someone find the right recovery support group or meeting spaces? 
12. Why is radical honesty crucial for rebuilding trust in relationships after active addiction? 

#SobrietyStories #AddictionRecovery #RelapsePrevention

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

I remember crying at the end of my bed, and my husband walks in and he's like, What's going on? I'm like, sorry. Don't you find I'm not sober. And here's where all of my hiding spots are. And if you're an alcoholic or an addict and you've got a lot of hiding spots and you give up your hiding spots, that's that's yeah, you're done, you know.

SPEAKER_02 0:26

Welcome to Recovery Cast. I'm Brittany Baynard.

SPEAKER_00 0:28

And I'm Sam Roberts. Uh, and this is a podcast where influential voices share their authentic stories of recovery uh and mental health and addiction uh and the journeys that led them there. Brittany, good morning.

SPEAKER_02 0:39

Hey, how are you doing?

SPEAKER_00 0:40

Doing fantastic. How are you? Hey, hey, how are you?

SPEAKER_02 0:43

Hey, how are you?

SPEAKER_00 0:43

I'm doing great.

SPEAKER_02 0:44

I just recently noticed my Wisconsin accent.

SPEAKER_00 0:46

It's definitely there.

SPEAKER_02 0:47

It's there.

SPEAKER_00 0:48

It's there. Speaking of Wisconsin, we had an amazing guest come to Wisconsin. Yes, we did. This past week. I'm so excited to learn about Maggie Eats. Absolutely wonderful woman. Love her. Before we do that, housekeeping, as always. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:01

Keep us waiting with something cool.

SPEAKER_00 1:02

Yeah, keep it waiting with something cool. As always, a way that you can support Recovery Cast is leaving a comment, uh, liking, subscribing. Uh, we are 70 subscribers away from hitting a thousand subscribers on YouTube.

SPEAKER_02 1:12

That's so exciting.

SPEAKER_00 1:13

Super exciting. So if you listen to the audio uh version of this, pretty please. Yeah. It would be a good idea.

SPEAKER_02 1:18

Help my mom out so she doesn't have to make accounts all day. No, I'm just kidding. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 1:21

Yeah, the the other uh 930 are are Britney's mom's burners accounts. So do Brittany's mom a favor and thanks, color. Brittany please go subscribe on YouTube. Another way that you can support us, we love hearing from you, leaving comments or writing in to recoverycast at recovery.com. Britney, would you read uh our first comment for us today? I'm so excited.

SPEAKER_02 1:40

This comment is from Lori. This is on our Tiffany Jenkins episode. Hi, Tiffany. What's up, girl? Um, okay, so this is from Lori. The story is so deep and real, and the weird, fantastic chemistry between these two just makes it so palpable and easy to absorb the lessons. Okay, thank you so much. We did have like the weirdest, funnest chemistry. Um, I really enjoyed doing that episode. There's so much in her story. I binged the two books that she came out with right beforehand. And it it was just like, where do you start? She was you had to stop us if you didn't.

SPEAKER_00 2:17

Yeah, it was amazing. I sometimes, as producer, I have to be like, hey, this is really great. We need to move on. You know. So that was that was a uh top 10.

SPEAKER_02 2:25

You did a great job conducting the circus, though. Thank you. I don't know that it was fun. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:30

So okay. Uh, and then I have um a short little letter that somebody wrote in to Brittany. Um, they said, Hi, and thank you. Thanks for being the first podcast I found that felt good and safe to listen to. I'm five days off alcohol and less than 24 hours from Coke. I had a week off uh it until last weekend. My story is so similar to many of your guests, so you know how it goes, more or less, but I can't go on like that anymore. Thank you for what you do. Listen to the episode today where you quietly said you were an extra on undercover boss lol. Thank you so much for writing that. That genuinely like made our day hearing that. Uh and we're so happy for you that you are starting this journey, whether it's the first time, hundredth time. As always, we hope that these stories that you hear that you're not like, oh, those are like porcelain people in a perfect little world. Yeah. Uh, but that you're like, oh, that's just a person like me. Yeah. Like I could start my recovery journey, you know.

SPEAKER_02 3:26

And we're honored to be a part of that journey. And we're here with you every step of the way. And thank you so much for sharing that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:33

All right. Well, with that, would you please tell us a little bit about our guest, Maggie?

SPEAKER_02 3:37

Yes. Okay. So today we're gonna chat with Maggie. Uh Maggie Eats, as you'll know her on socials. Uh, she's built a huge following, being super vulnerable, sharing her life as a foodie and mother of three. Um, after hiding a spiraling addiction, Adderall, alcohol. She found purpose and radical honesty and long-term recovery. This was such a meaningful conversation as a mom, as a woman, just as a human being who can relate to so much that she talked about. Yeah. All right, here we go. Here we go. Hi, everyone, and welcome to today's episode of Recovery Cast. Today we are joined by Maggie, aka Maggie Eats. She is not only a culinary mastermind, um, but an incredible recovery advocate. Let's get into it. Paint a picture of 20-year-old Maggie.

SPEAKER_01 4:33

I want to know what, like, it's it's interesting because I never struggled with addiction through high school and college. Yeah. Um, I played golf in high school and then got a scholarship to play in college where I met my husband. As soon as we met, it was like one of those things where I just kind of knew that I was gonna marry the guy. Right. Yeah. Again, I never struggled with any kind of substance abuse or addiction, but we did get married young, had a baby young. So I think for me, being 20, I'm, you know, I'm newly pregnant, you know, and I'm finishing up my junior year. We're trying to figure out life at that point. Um, I felt overwhelmed. Yeah. That's a lot for a 20-year-old. Yeah, it was a big transition. And so by the time, you know, I had my oldest Olivia, I'm no longer playing college golf. I'm a new young mom. I'm married, and I don't know who I am. How old are you at this time? I'm like 21, 22. 22, actually. Yeah. I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 14 or 15, went through the whole screening process, got on medication, um, and again, took it appropriately for seven years, six years. And it was a moment where I'm like, okay, I need to finish college. I know I'm a mom now, but I'm gonna finish my degree. And there was there, it was a moment where my addiction just absolutely turned on. And I can go back to that moment because it's just, it was so easy. It was, it was, I've got to finish a paper. I've also got to take care of a little baby, you know, I've got things to do. Let me just pop an extra Adderall. And man, it just took off from there.

SPEAKER_03 6:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:20

Um, I I felt invincible. I felt, I felt like I could do literally everything. Yeah. But unfortunately, if you know what it's like abusing that substance that that crashes pretty quickly. Yeah. So I would go like three or four days, I would go through my medication and then I would be exhausted for because I could, you know, I can't refill it yet, you know? Your month's prescription, my Adderall. So um, it was a lot of ups and downs, but I would, you know, my husband would be like, Are you okay? Like, what's going on? You've got a lot of highs and lows, right? So that was my excuse for many years was I'm just tired. I'm a new mom. At that point, I was like, Well, how do I get more? Yeah. So we started doctor shopping. I was at probably three or four doctors writing me scripts. Cause in that time in the state of Texas, every class C drug was written out. So it wasn't easily um, I guess, right tracked by insurance. Um, and I would sometimes use cash only, I would sometimes use insurance. So anyway, I was able to kind of work my way around the system, but that all did come to a big halt. Whenever 2017, uh Texas passed, I don't know if it was a law or what, but they basically just made everything to be able to be seen digitally instead of by across the board. So it was insurance, it was the pharmacies, it was the doctors, they could literally see everything. And so at that point, that was 2017. So I had been doing that for about four or five years.

SPEAKER_02 7:54

So for four or five years, doctor shopping, getting multiple prescriptions.

SPEAKER_01 7:58

Yeah, I was hitting up my husband's friends for Adderall. I was just, I was trying to change the dosage on the on the script. I was just doing some really just not ethical things, you know? Because I but to me, well, I need to get my fix.

SPEAKER_02 8:15

So and it's like when it's coming from a doctor's office, sometimes it's like it's easier to say the things. It's easier to ask the husband's friend for something. Like it's not like you're like, hey, can I get some heroin? Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 8:26

But literal, like no, but really, yeah. Even though I was literally taking, you know, 30 pills in two days at that point, which was insane. So that was 2017 when that happened, when they when Texas had changed everything over digitally. And I remember I was running errands that day and I was waiting for a call from my doctor to let me know to come pick up your script, it's ready, you know, and you can go fill it. And I get a call and it's the office manager. And she basically just lets me know, you're not, you're not welcome here anymore. I had to speak to the office manager, and she was like, You're not welcome here anymore. And we've also been in contact with the other doctors that day. When I tell you, I'm I I can just see myself sitting there, like my heart fell to my ass so fast because it was all of a sudden I've been caught, but it was like shame on you. Like it, I I felt this overwhelming just shame.

SPEAKER_02 9:23

Yeah, not like a you can't get any more like a you're not welcome here. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:27

Yeah. And by the way, like you are you can't fill in the state of Texas for I think it was like five years that I couldn't fill a class C drug. So it was um, it was uh, that was hard because that was truly my my drug of choice.

SPEAKER_02 9:41

So then what's going through your mind at that point? Like, I'm guessing it's not like a well, I gotta be done now. It's like, how do I sustain this? Literally because everyone's cutting me off.

SPEAKER_01 9:50

Exactly. I didn't realize that at the time. And I've said this before, I didn't realize that immediate switch because that that was the day I picked up alcohol. And not like I hadn't had alcohol before, but I took up a relationship with alcohol in that moment that lasted me for seven years and it was volatile and it was chaotic. And I remember being like, okay, well, I'm gonna go into this target now and just get alcohol. I mean, what do you I've got to I've got to change the way I feel.

SPEAKER_02 10:17

When you say like it kind of switched, like immediately was it like I'm replacing this amount with this amount, or was it kind of like a slow progression with it was a slow pro it was a slow progression with alcohol.

SPEAKER_01 10:27

I kind of in my head was like, okay, well, let me let me go just pick up some alcohol because that'll at least ease my pain for what I just experienced, right? It was slow. It was, you know, a bottle of wine a night, and then it was a couple bottles of wine at night, and then it would be my husband asking, like, hey, I'm noticing because I never drank like that before.

SPEAKER_03 10:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:48

Like I would, I drank very socially and and occasionally. So yeah, it was it was one of those things where it was definitely progressive, but it picked up and it picked up quick.

SPEAKER_02 10:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:00

And I liked, I liked the way it just numbed me out. I liked, I liked the way it made me feel. Um, did it feel different for you with Adderall? Oh my gosh, yeah. Um, it's so funny because there are two opposite ends of the spectrum, right? So you're like, I'm like genuinely, I'm locked in. I am, I can rule the world. And then alcohol. Now, what I will say is that my first drink, it gave me that feeling. And I constantly I I I found myself chasing that first drink high, you know? But you don't find it. That's just not how alcohol works. So yeah, I I wanted to find that feeling that I got from Adderall, but I never got that in alcohol. Eventually, I just it was just a numbing effect for me.

SPEAKER_02 11:48

And what's your like social and parent and relationship life look like? Like, how are people on the outside experiencing this?

SPEAKER_01 11:58

You know, I was pretty to myself. Um, I thought I hit it pretty well. So I, you know, and I have a very close circle of friends, but they live in other states and or other cities. So I didn't see them very often. So it wasn't like I was erratic and, you know, creating chaos. It was just chaos in my home. You know? And my husband would always ask me, like, especially like in my Adderall days, he would be like, Hey, there's another doctor's name on here that I don't recognize. And I'd be like, Oh yeah, that's just because that doctor was out sick that one day that I needed a refill. So just different doctor name, you know. I always had like an excuse. Yeah, very quick. I always had an excuse, but he's not an idiot, right? Like, uh, and when it got to the point when it came to my drinking, you know, I would I would find hiding places in our old house. Um, I would fill I it eventually I switched vodka because I realized, okay, I can get drunk a lot quicker. It's clear, so I can put it in a water bottle, which I highly do not recommend. Um, especially if you have young kids. I'm grateful that none of my kids found my stashes, but anyway. Yeah, I mean, it was it was the constant him asking me, like, hey, I found this water bottle and it smells like vodka. Oh, um, and that in that point, I think we were moving. So I was like, Oh, I just wanted easier transport, right? Like, and he's like, that is so stupid. Like, what do you mean? Yeah. And I'm like, Yeah, I just didn't want to have to deal with glass bottles. Um, so easier transport with the water bottle. You know, it and I kept saying things like that. I just had excuses that just didn't really make sense. But I think when you when you love someone and you know their pret their potential, I think you just love them through it and just pray that, you know, they come out on the other side of it. And that and I'm grateful that that is our story. It's not everybody's story. Um, so now he's reaping the reward. He's like, see, I prayed for it, here she is. She's fine now. But I think um yeah, it it caused a lot of trust issues. So um it just took a lot of time to build that back up.

SPEAKER_02 14:11

How are you managing your day to day?

SPEAKER_01 14:13

That's a great question because at that point, I'm three kids deep. I am now a morning drinker. Um, I can't, I can't even brush my teeth without drinking. Like I can't run a quick errand without having alcohol in my system. Um, how I'm managing my my day is by drinking because I at that point notice, okay, when I'm not drinking, I'm shaking, I'm anxious, um, I'm having these physical symptoms. So for me, it was a necessity to function.

SPEAKER_03 14:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:46

Um, and now looking back, like that makes me really sad to think that somebody had to function with that much alcohol in their system. Um, driving my kids around, you know, things that I'm not proud of today. But yeah, it was I I I look back on how I functioned and it truly blows my mind.

SPEAKER_02 15:03

Yeah.

unknown 15:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:04

Do you think at that time you realized like I feel like shit when I'm not doing this, I need this to function because I'm addicted, or was that not like the That's what kind of scared me at that point because I remember there was Will was getting ear tubes or something like that.

SPEAKER_01 15:18

And so he was little, maybe a year old. And we had to be at the hospital early. And it was like the first time I sat down that morning, and I'm sitting next to my husband, and I'm my hands are just trembling. It could not stop. And he's like, Are you okay? And I'm like, Yeah, I'm just a little nervous, or you know, I haven't had coffee yet. So that's probably what it is. Not even realizing that it's because I haven't had alcohol yet. I'm getting these physical symptoms now. And it wasn't until I got home later that afternoon that I found a lukewarm vodka bottle that I could quickly take a sip of that I that I felt better. The the shaking went away, the noise quieted in my brain, all of that. And that's when I was like, huh. Okay, well, that's new. Let's keep going. You know, that's literally what it was.

SPEAKER_02 16:07

And then how does this like what's the point where this kind of is no longer a manageable thing for you?

SPEAKER_01 16:17

So for me, uh, and I've talked about this before, but there's one day specifically where I'm morning drinking and my husband's off to work. The kids are out of the house, they're at school, and I don't know, it's like seven o'clock in the morning, and he had just left a few minutes ago to go to work. And I'm in the kitchen and I've got this big sky vodka blue bottle on the counter, and I've got my shot glass and I'm taking it. And he walks in, and I I that look of him finally seeing me is something that I'll never forget. I have that like, what are you doing? Like, it's not even like angry or sadness, it's like like he was desperate. Like, what are you doing? Like, this is this is a problem. And at that point, I was like, Okay, so I'm caught. Yeah, this could be a problem. 7 a.m. taking a couple shots of vodka. That's probably not normal. And this was August of 2022, and um that's when I first started, you know, I went into a the AA program, and um I was just kind of going to meetings at that point just to kind of say, hey, like I'm I'm doing this, I'm doing the thing, I'm I'm gonna stop drinking, I'm gonna figure this out. And of course, I didn't go to my first AA meeting sober. I don't know if I've talked to anybody that has, so it kind of makes me feel a little better, but um yeah. So for a couple of months I was doing this thing where I I was going to meetings, not not sober, but telling my husband that I was sober. So I really tightened up my game there. I had to really be on point. My hiding places had to get a little more lucrative. Um, I had to get really sneaky. So now my my solution was okay, so you're gonna lie a lot more now. Okay, yeah. Right. Like I'm not done drinking. At that point, it was my world. It was my, it was, it consumed every thought. How am I gonna get my next drink? How am I gonna do this with also telling my husband that I'm sober and I'm not sober? How I'm gonna keep this off the the credit card. So I was buying, I was buying gift cards at my local H E B in Texas. I was buying gift cards because we don't sell liquor in grocery stores. We have separate okay, we have separate stores, right? I know it's different for every state, but so I would buy these Visa gift cards and then I would pop over to the liquor store and get my big bottle of vodka and I would put it in three large water bottles and one small one. That's exactly what it fit. And I would just find new hiding spots, obviously. But then I I'm type B, so I would keep all of these empty credit cards or gift cards. Screenshot, collect, keep that. We might this later. So he I there was one point where he was like, Hey, I gotta grab something, and it would, you know, I was like, Oh yeah, go, it's in my purse. And there'd be like 15 gift cards. And he's like, What are all these gift cards for? And I'm like, Oh, we've got a lot of birthday parties coming up. So these poor kids were getting like like 13 cents. No, I'm just kidding. I never used them, but so I um it was just like moments where like it was harder for me to lie. Yeah, like I created all of these, these like stories and lies when it was just so much easier for me. Well, hindsight, right? Like it felt at that time like it could have been easier, but it feels like the easier choice when something else feels more important to me.

SPEAKER_02 19:54

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 19:54

And yeah, I needed to hold on to that for just a couple more months. So it wasn't until I was tired. It wasn't until I was exhausted of the rat race that was in my mind. You know, I'm grateful I didn't have any serious consequences in my drinking because a lot of people do. Um, I've never got arrested, never had a DUI. So, you know, it's just one of those things where it was me. I was tired of me. I was finally tired of me. Um, and it makes me, it's hard for people to understand that aren't in the the recovery community when they're like, Well, but what about your kids? What about your husband? What about this? And I'm like, literally none of that could keep me from guzzling down lukewarm vodka.

SPEAKER_02 20:45

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SPEAKER_01 21:10

It's one of those moments, and I saw something, and it's like, you know, this this next chapter that you're so scared of can be one of your favorite chapters in your life. And that's exactly what it was. And I was I was terrified because alcohol was everything to me. Um, it was it was what I woke up to, it's what I went to bed with. It was literally everything. It changed how I felt about myself. And at that time I didn't realize that. I didn't realize how much it changed the way I felt about myself. Because at that point, I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror. I couldn't, I didn't like what I saw. I was not who I wanted to be. So it it was sorry. Um It was just one of those moments where I got desperate enough that I was so tired of my own self that I sat down. I remember crying at the end of my bed. My husband walks in and he's like, What's going on? I'm like, I'm not sober. I'm not sober like I had told me. Yeah. So I was like, I'm not sober. And here's where all of my hiding spots are. And if you're an alcoholic or an addict and you've got a lot of hiding spots and you give up your hiding spots, that's that's submit. Yeah, you're done, you know? And but I will say I was drunk when I did that. So I remember going through the house and I'm like, I'm gonna get sober. And and this is what I said for so long was drunk Maggie wanted to be sober so bad. Sober Maggie wanted to be drunk so bad. So it was this constant cycle that I was in. So in that drunk Maggie moment, I'm like, I'm gonna get sober and I'm showing all my husband everything. And so we're walking around the house and we're getting all these water bottles that are some of them have vodka in them. So it was really heartbreaking that we were, you know, getting rid of them. Um, so we go through the house and we go, we go to bed on it. You know, we go to sleep and I wake up and I'm like, really did that. I did that one. Like Pandora is out of its box. I cannot put her back in. So um at that point, I had gone to some AA meetings and one of the guys had had given me um a woman's number and she was like, hey, I've got a great place for you to go to. Check it out. Um, and that's what we did. He was like, You need to go get some help. Like, this is it's you can't control this on your own. Um, and so I said, Okay, fine, I will do this, but I am only doing it for seven days. I will do the detox and that's it. I and then you know what? If I can remove alcohol from my just from my vicinity for seven days, I've got this. Like, that's gonna fix it all. It's gonna fix it all. It's easy and I can I'm a mother of three. I cannot be gone from my children for that long. Stop my life, stop everybody. How will they function?

SPEAKER_02 24:00

Everyone's gonna starve, nothing's gonna yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:02

Yeah, and it's funny now because I'm like, Maggie, you were like barely like helping them. Like we were in the driving girl. Yeah, yeah. I was not in my best space. So the seven days, so that's what I told everybody. And when I got to the treatment facility, they were like, Okay, just want to let you know the success rate of people just doing detox is like zero percent chance. I miss seven days. Just want to let you know. Oh, and I was like, mm-mm, I'm so different. I am the ex I'm the exception to the rule. Maggie. Yeah, I'm the exception to the rule. So seven days is plenty for me. That didn't work. So um I remember, so I this is what the plan was seven-day detox, and then I would go, I would drive back and forth because it was only 30 minutes from my house. And I would do the IOP program. So did the seven days, got a sponsor, I started working the steps. I was, you know, I was doing the things, right? I mean, it was pretty half-assed, but I was at least trying. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:59

What were those first seven? Do you remember what those first seven days were like?

SPEAKER_01 25:03

Literally, no. Like I the first two days, I think I slept most of them. Um, I was really shaky and nauseous. Yeah. So, not really, if I'm being quite honest. That's our brain's way of protecting us. Yeah. So really it was a lot of like, we have a lot of group sessions at the recovery center. So it was a lot of people saying, Are you sure you don't want to stay longer than seven days? And I was like, No, I just gotta get home. I gotta get home to my three kids. So so um, that's what I did. And I remember getting home. Like, I'm not joking, I think I'm 13 days sober. Like, this is we're fresh, real fresh. I'm not, I'm not calling my sponsor, I'm not going to meetings, I'm not talking to other people in recovery. And I specifically look up a recipe because you know I love food. Um, I specifically look up a recipe that involved wine that I could cook with. I did not use a drop of alcohol in the recipe. I guzzled it in 20 minutes. And that's that is what that looked like. And that day specifically was kind of a weird, I wouldn't say a weird day, but it was it was a day where my kids were all out of the house. My husband was dropping kids off at birthday parties, and I was to pick up. Well, I got blackout drunk and I was not there to pick up my daughter from her birthday party. So my husband had to go pick her up. He came home, he said, You're going back, and we're gonna do, we're gonna do the full 30 days. And I want you to take this time. I want you to be selfish. I want you to come back and be the best version of this. I just got goosebumps.

SPEAKER_02 26:32

That's so that's so that's wonderful.

SPEAKER_01 26:35

It was wonderful, but it was also terrifying. Yeah. It was terrifying because at that point I knew I was I knew I was ready at that point because what do you mean? Like we we barely got into this and you and you can't not drink. Yeah. So I knew at that point I needed something had to change. And there's one thing about me is that when I decide something that when I'm fully ready to do something, I'm gonna do it 110%. Um, so I did the full 30 days, I did an another 30-day IOP program, and and here we are. We're almost three and a half years sober. Um and it's changed my life. Yeah. You know, it like I said, it's one of those things where I was so scared. I was terrified of what my life would look like without drugs and alcohol because I felt it was like a relationship. I was more scared of what my life was gonna look like. And lo and behold, it's infinitely better than what I could have ever imagined. Yeah. So it's it's my favorite chapter so far.

SPEAKER_02 27:37

Yes. You've spent quite some time sharing your life and just like being out there on socials. Were you going through this process while you're like out to the public?

SPEAKER_01 27:47

Yeah. So I was on social media about a year before I got sober. Okay. So now there were a few videos that I've I've kind of got come back to and been like, so I was drunk here. Just we put an asterisk on this one. Yes. So um there was there was a lot of drunk videos that I had. Um and but it's funny because it looks different on everybody. So a lot of people be like, oh, that you don't seem, you know, that bad. I'm like, oh, I was, I don't even remember. Like, I literally don't remember sitting down and doing this video. Like I had so many of those where I could not recall what I posted, what I said, what I commented back to people. That was my biggest like, what did I say to this person? Because I'm a hothead. So yeah. So um yeah, I was on socials about a year before I got sober. And then I did the classic, hey guys, I gotta go away for a little bit and work on me. Yeah. And of course, it came with nothing but love and support. And I was able to, at 56 days sober, I was able to sit down and say, Hi, my name's Maggie. I'm a I'm an alcoholic and I'm here to share my story. And that is when there was a shift in my content. And just for the better. I mean, I do focus mainly on food and life and kids, and I sprinkle a lot of sobriety in there now. And it's it's one of the highlights of my life.

SPEAKER_02 29:14

Yeah. Yeah. What was it like for you saying I'm Maggie Alcoholic that first time?

SPEAKER_01 29:20

It was so freeing. Yeah. It was just like a weight had lifted off my shoulders. But, you know, I had said it at that point 57 times, you know, in meetings. So it was, it felt so natural. Like I was supposed I was born to be an alcoholic. I know it sounds crazy and I hate when people say I'm I'm a grateful recovering alcoholic, but that's that's my truth. And I am because I wouldn't be where I am today without the struggles that I've had. So being able to share my experience, strength, and hope um in moments like this is literally it for me. Like when people ask, okay, what's next? I'm like, I hope another one of these. Like that's it. Like that's if if I can help somebody get on the right path, that's it. That's a win for me.

SPEAKER_02 30:11

So what were some of like your small wins like in your first year? Oh, that's a great question.

SPEAKER_01 30:18

I love questions like this. Um, small wins. So, like for me, I I don't today struggle with like I can be around alcohol. It's not something that bothers me. Um, of course, that takes a little bit of time, I think. Um so if you are new in recovery, just know that this too shall pass. It's this won't last forever. Um, that obsession, um, even in your early days. Small wins. I remember being at an event with my husband and it was for his work. And um as soon as they set out the dessert bar, I was the first one to go. Maid behind me. And there was these little mini, like uh, I don't know, variety of desserts and like these little glasses. Oh cute, fun. They didn't have the they didn't even have the labels on them yet. I just was like, yay, I love dessert. And and it was a nice event. Again, it was for his work. So I'm trying to be class A. And I am spooning a glob of dessert into my face hole class end. And I realized, oh, that is a jello shot. And I immediately, I just like put my face down, open my mouth, and just let it all fall on the plate. And he looks at me and he's like, What are you doing? He's like, I was like, that is just vodka. And that was your thing too. Yeah, yeah. So it was one of those moments where he then was like, Do you need to call your sponsor? Do what do we need to do? Do we need to leave? Do you seriously? And it was one of those moments where I was like, Oh shit, I don't care. Like, I don't care. Like it felt so good. It felt like I could, I wanted to like walk around with my chest like puffed out, like, look at me, you know. But uh yeah, it was a proud moment where because you, you know, you hear those stories where alcoholics they accidentally take a sip of something or they eat something that had alcohol in it and it sets them back mentally and it breaks my heart. Yeah, you know, because I'm grateful that I was in a space where and then that was within my first year. And I I I was able to say, it's okay, it's gonna pass. I I didn't relapse. I called my sponsor, I did all the right things. That's a huge win. Yeah, that is huge. So I it was little moments like that that seem kind of silly to some, but for people in recovery, it's huge. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:43

Do you talk to your kids about stuff like this or addiction or your past experience with stuff?

SPEAKER_01 32:48

Yeah. So, you know, it's interesting because I've when I went into treatment, Olivia was 10, Allie was five, Will was 14 months. So it was kind of the younger two were a little challenging. Um, whenever I went away to treatment, you know, we kind of explained to them that I needed to work on some things. And thankfully, of course, it came with questions, but it wasn't like they had, oh, are you a drug addict or alcoholic? You know what I mean? Yeah, well, right.

SPEAKER_03 33:17

Like, yeah, what's your drug of choice?

unknown 33:19

Right.

SPEAKER_01 33:19

So, like now, Olivia, she was 10. So I had to, we had to explain to her that, you know how mommy has a glass of wine or two or more than that, you know? Um, I'm I'm going to work on that. And she was like, okay, like, okay. Um, and it was really special because I remember getting my my my first year chip, um, and I was able to give it to her. And it was just a sweet moment. And we do talk about it. And you know, it's funny, my she's 14 now, and she'll be 15 in November. And she's like, Oh, I'll I'll never drink. And I'm like, okay, girl.

unknown 33:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:54

Like, love that. I love that mindset for you right now. Um, but if you ever feel the need or you want to, um, I'm literally the perfect person to talk to. Yeah. You know, um, there's no shame, there's no guilt. Um, and I could talk about drugs and alcohol like in the recovery space all day long. I love it. It's been a very, very eye-opening experience, but it's been, it's been awesome so far.

SPEAKER_02 34:23

Yeah. So far.

unknown 34:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 34:25

Yeah. What specific role does your morning routine of zone two cardio? Oh my God. Look at my husband, he's like, no. Um, but I think but that and also just your faith helps play in your recovery. So 100%. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:43

What's the question? Sorry.

SPEAKER_02 34:45

Sorry. How do you maintain your sobriety? What are you doing now? What am I doing now?

SPEAKER_01 34:50

Um, I have set the most, I'm so type B. And I it's I'm so type B that I'm almost becoming type A. What? Yes. I've created a routine for me, but I am flexible. Okay. So now some people, like my husband, he's like, okay, Maggie, something, sometimes life happens. We've got to be able to change, and you can't, you cannot life life, right? So um, for me, it's waking up, getting a workout in, having the exact same breakfast, but literally when it even like for my content, I know exactly what I'm doing Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. I know exactly what I'm doing. I know my favorite meetings I'm gonna hit up.

SPEAKER_02 35:31

Love that.

SPEAKER_01 35:31

Um Wednesday Wing Stop. Yeah. Wing stop Wednesday. Okay. I've developed this routine, but it takes time. Like the first year of my sobriety, I was like, okay, what do I like? What don't I like? What meeting spaces do I like? What meetings do I not like? Like there was a lot of trial and error for me to get to where I am today. So when I have people like, like they ask me, okay, I'm three days sober, what do I do? Let's just figure it out. Let's just take some things. Let's just take it one day at a time. And that's what I tell people, especially um when I get DMs about being sober curious, or hey, I'm 13 days sober. Like, and I I'm finding that I I don't really like any of the meetings. Keep going. Yeah. You're not gonna stop until you find a meeting place that you're like, I'm gonna be there every Tuesday night, every Saturday night, or whatever it is. Find something that makes you excited. Yes. Find a meeting that it speaks to you and your soul and your recovery. Um, that's my biggest piece of advice is just keep going, don't stop. One foot in front of the other.

SPEAKER_02 36:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:39

And the routine.

SPEAKER_02 36:40

That's as an ADHD, or like we we push from routines, but once you lock into a routine, that's why it is hard when people are like, okay, but today we're not going to. It's like, yeah, but it's my routine and I like it this way. And what if it affects anything else?

SPEAKER_01 36:55

Exactly. And I get questions like, can you stop eating the same thing every Wednesday, every Tuesday? I'm like, no. Why would I why would I do that? I know it's my favorite thing. Yeah. God, I love Tuesdays and Wednesdays are my favorite. Sorry.

SPEAKER_02 37:10

So, what piece of wisdom would you give the version of yourself who was hiding vodka in water bottles around the house?

SPEAKER_01 37:20

Just wait. This is actually gonna be your favorite chapter in life. Because I thought, I thought I'm gonna be the most boring bitch out there. Nobody's gonna suck. What do you mean? I can't drink. I'm like listen, I have so much more fun now than I did when I was drinking. So much more fun. And not even more fun, I actually remember the fun. I remember the fun. I'm present. Um, I'm doing things that I never could have imagined. Um, so just wait. You're gonna love this chapter. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 37:59

Meggy, thank you so much for sharing your story. Yeah, this has been awesome. I I love you. You're so much fun. Oh my gosh. You're so sweet. You're a wonderful woman. Your story's incredible, and I can't wait to see the other chapters that you put out in this world. Um, share with everybody where they can follow you.

SPEAKER_01 38:17

You're at uh you can follow me at Maggie Eats3S.

SPEAKER_02 38:26

Oh, and thank you all for joining us on this episode of Recovery Cast. We'll catch you next time.