David Millar | From Cocaine, Adderall, & Alcohol Addiction to Elite Ultra Runner & Med Student

What happens when you trade drug-induced psychosis for medical school and 100-mile ultra marathons? David Millar shares his raw journey. In this moving episode of Recoverycast, hosts Sam Roberts and Brittany Baynard sit down with future neurosurgeon, elite ultra runner, and recovery advocate David Millar to explore his transformation from severe substance use disorder to extreme high-performance living. David opens up about growing up around family alcoholism , experiencing the instant relief of his first drink , and escalating into a dangerous cycle of crack cocaine, Adderall, marijuana, and alcohol abuse. After dropping out of college and enduring multiple involuntary psych ward holds , he faced a life-altering ultimatum: an Atlantic City homeless shelter or a flight to treatment. 

Find mental health and addiction treatment near you: https://recovery.com/

David reveals how finding a community of peers committed to long-term sobriety changed his life perspective. He breaks down the rigorous, year-long structured sober living environment in California that taught him personal accountability through essays and house chores , helping him build genuine emotional maturity. Instead of letting his obsessive traits destroy him, David redirected his addictive energy into his medical studies and elite athletics. We dive deep into his powerful concept of "intentional suffering" during a 100-mile race , navigating the internal traps of being a "dry drunk" , and how he maintains a "start from zero" daily mindset. Today, David uses his platform, coaching , and upcoming daily devotional book, Broken into Purpose, to show the younger population that you can achieve long-term sobriety in your 20s and still lead an authentic, exciting, and limitless existence. Don't forget to subscribe, comment, and share this episode to help spread hope! 

⏱️ Chapters:

00:00 – Intro
03:58 – Welcome David Millar
04:28 – Growing Up Around Family Alcoholism
08:42 – The Instant Relief of the First Drink
11:54 – Facing the Trap of Being a "Dry Drunk"
17:31 – Escalating to Stimulants & Psych Wards
22:40 – The Ultimatum: Homeless Shelter or Florida
30:43 – Strict Accountability in Sober Living
39:23 – Redefining "Cool" & Staying Authentic in Your 20s
44:50 – Intentional Suffering & The True Prize of Sobriety

❓ Questions the Video Answers:

1. How can someone redirect an addictive personality into positive, high-performance habits?  
2. What are the signs of being a "dry drunk" in addiction recovery?  
3. What is the difference between an academic and an experiential recovery process?  
4. How does growing up around family alcohol use affect a young person's perception of normalcy?  
5. What does a highly structured, behavioral modification sober living program look like?  
6. Can someone recover from drug-induced psychosis and get accepted into medical school?  
7. How can intentional suffering through elite fitness help maintain long-term sobriety?  
8. Why is delayed gratification so difficult yet crucial for individuals in early recovery?  
9. How do you handle social situations and peer groups at bars when choosing to stay sober?  
10. What role does mutual accountability play in building leadership and emotional maturity?  

#SobrietyStories #AddictionRecovery #MentalHealth

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

I went down to this treatment facility and at this facility I met people who were more my age and they were like fired up about sobriety. And like typically, to be honest with you, like I wouldn't even really hang out with kids that had that attitude. Nerd. I'm not yeah. They were like the only kids my age there. So I was forced by necessity to hang out with these people. So I'm like, I'm gonna hang out with the nerds.

SPEAKER_01 0:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 0:30

Welcome to Recovery Cast. I'm Britney Bainard.

SPEAKER_02 0:33

And I'm Sam Roberts, and this is the podcast where influential voices share their authentic stories about the joys of addiction and mental health recovery and the journeys that led them there. Hello, Brittany. Yes, they do. Yeah, they do. Every single week. Every time. Every single time. I don't know if you're coming back and you're like, oh, maybe the podcast will be about something else this week. It won't be. It won't. Britney. Yeah. I'm so excited for our guest today. Yes. David. David, that was incredible. That was incredible. The conversation was incredible.

SPEAKER_00 0:59

Before that, we have housekeeping as always.

SPEAKER_02 1:02

And I forgot to mention the past few weeks, there is always timestamps below. I know that you would never skip the housekeeping uh segment, but like hypothetically, if you did, if you're like, oh, I really want to get my friend to listen to this podcast, just tell them to skip to, you know, the first timestamp.

SPEAKER_00 1:16

You wouldn't want to miss this.

SPEAKER_02 1:17

No, you wouldn't. You wouldn't. Just hypothetically speaking.

SPEAKER_00 1:20

And I'm going to start with a review. This is a five-star review. Okay, five stars. I love this podcast. It's such an honest and hopeful glimpse into diverse recovery stories. Yes, it is. Thank you so much. We appreciate that. We appreciate the five stars. And thank you for listening. Touches us. Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 1:39

All right. And then I have a comment. Uh, this was left on Adriana Sandsom's episode. That was uh before I even read the comment, one of the most impactful uh episodes we've ever recorded. I remember we just had to like take a break the rest of the afternoon. Um, so this comment's gonna express as much, I think. Uh Meg comments, I don't comment often, but this stayed with me. The way Adriana described telling her children, feeling like she'd be been quietly prepared and knowing he would have what he would have wanted. It's mirrored so much of my own experience in the past year following the death of my husband and being a mother of two, aged two and nine at the time. The part that hit hardest was carrying the full context of his death alone while still trying to show up every day. Thank you for sharing this so honestly.

SPEAKER_00 2:24

Meg, thank you so much for writing that. And I hope you're doing well. And I'm really happy that her story was able to resonate with you so it doesn't feel like something you're going through on your own.

SPEAKER_02 2:35

Yeah, Meg, your entire life matters. And even if you didn't comment this and we never heard it, it would matter. Um But the fact that just that comment, if two people hear this uh on this episode today, and they're like, that inspires me to take a step towards loving life and being healthy. How incredible that what happened to you is like reverberating out now to help other people. And that's why we just love doing this podcast in general.

SPEAKER_00 3:02

Sharing everybody's stories. Yes. Yeah. Thank you, Meg.

SPEAKER_02 3:05

Yeah, thank you.

SPEAKER_00 3:06

And now another story. Yeah, another story. Uh we are going to, okay, so today we're chatting with David, David Miller. Um, okay, power marathon, ultra marathon runner. Um, he's also neurosurgery bound med student. Casual. Yeah, super cash about that. Um, who's transformed a cycle of psychiatric wards and addiction into a life of high performance recovery? This is an amazing story. After getting sober at just 20, he has dedicated his life to proving that sobriety isn't the end of excitement. It is the beginning of your life. Um, and it is the beginning of an extraordinary and limitless existence. So I'm excited to get into this story.

SPEAKER_02 3:49

It's a great one. Yeah. You guys are gonna love it.

SPEAKER_00 3:51

Let's get to it. Hi, everyone, and welcome to today's episode of Recovery Cast. Today we are joined by David Millar. He is a third-year med student, an elite ultra runner, and recovery advocate. We are so excited to have you here today. Thank you for joining us.

SPEAKER_03 4:12

Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_00 4:13

Yeah, so excited to get into your story. Um, before we do get into the nitty-gritty of things, um, I want like a picture of like 15-year-old David. I want to get an idea of what you were like kind of before everything kicks off.

SPEAKER_03 4:28

Yeah, so I grew up in like a pretty normal household for the most part. I mean, we had issues, there's alcoholism in my family. But pretty normal at the age of 15, definitely like addictive personality. I feel like everything I did, I did to the extreme. Yeah. Even before I came across alcohol and drugs. It was just if I liked something and it made me feel good, I would just always double down on it and it became all I wanted to do.

SPEAKER_00 4:53

And then so you had mentioned that you were aware alcoholism was in your family. Do you mind talking about that? Like when were you made aware of that? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:01

So uh my dad had a pretty big drinking problem, kind of like under the rug, not not really talked about. Kind of just always remember, like not really being sure. Like, is this like normal? Is it not normal? Um, you know, finding alcohol in places that like, you know, I wasn't even looking for alcohol, but it would just be like high response. Yeah, just like bags of wine. And, you know, just having to like deal with that as a kid is is tough, you know. Like you're like unsure about it. Um, you know, and you're not educated, like what's a problem, what's not a problem. You know, you see that it's like causing destruction in in the house, but you're so young and you can't really like put two and two together. Plus, it's somebody that's like close to you and like a role model, supposed to be like a role model, and yeah, just like kind of makes you like very confused. At 15, like I couldn't drive, right? So like my parents are like, you know, transporting me to places. Yeah, and like my my si I have two younger siblings. I have a brother and a younger sister. My sister was always a favorite. Uh uh, still is, still is a favorite. I'm working very hard to like take that. I've done so many marathons, I just need them. A couple more hundred milers, I think I might have her, but uh, so my mom would always pick up my sister. So that means me and my brother were stuck with my dad. Um, and my dad, like, there was no telling. Like, there was no telling, like, he might be an hour late, he might be 20 minutes late, uh, he might be smelling like booze, uh, he might be in a bad mood, you know, because that's the other thing. Like, I would I remember like seeing that switch. Yeah, like like waking up in the morning and like my dad, like being someone who I was like, I loved. Like, and and I was like, this is like this is my dad, you know? And then the afternoon would come around and like all of a sudden, just like angry, um, and just like a total shift in like personality, like not not the person I knew.

SPEAKER_01 6:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:47

Um, and you know, being like 13, 14, 15, and like seeing that, it's just like you, you're so fucking confused because it's just like you don't understand, you know? Um, and then eventually, you know, you the puzzle pieces start coming together, and you can kind of like, okay, this is probably what's going on here. But yeah, I just remember, I remember this one time too. My dad, I was dating this girl in high school, really liked this girl. I think it was like my first time um at her house. And uh I needed a ride home around like 11 p.m. And my mom was like, I think she might have been traveling or something, so she wasn't able to get me. And I was working really hard to have my mom pick me up from that. And uh yeah, so my dad had to pick me up, and um, it was late, like it was late at night. So I was like, oh gosh. And so I'm hanging out with this girl at her house, like wonderful family, like literally like the picture perfect family, like so nice. The dad is so nice, the mom is so nice, like treat me so well. And um, I remember my dad coming to pick me up. I'm leaving the house, and the parents are like, We want to meet your dad. Like, can we walk you out to the car? And I'm like, you know, trying to like dodge it, but not like make it obvious. So I'm like, no, like it's okay. I think you guys should go to sleep. And they're like, but they're like a great, like they're committed, you know what I mean? So I'm like, yeah. So I'm just like, oh gosh, like here we go. And then the window rolled down, you can like smell the alcohol like from you know, five feet away. And I'm just like, oh gosh. Um, so yeah, that was that was kind of my my childhood. My parents got divorced too, but I think it was more so like the alcoholic side of that that really affected me. But it's funny now because uh my dad's my dad's sober. So that's so cool.

SPEAKER_00 8:23

Oh, I love hearing that. Okay, follow-up question to this. So, what was your feeling then about the potentials of alcohol? And I don't know if you were considering like drugs or anything, but like what was your relationship with that? Because I had friends who like grew up in a very similar household and they're like, I would never touch that shit. It just like I it ruined my parent.

SPEAKER_03 8:42

Um, I had that attitude for a while. I uh a lot of my friends started drinking before me. Um and I stayed away from it like for those reasons, but eventually I just like everybody was doing it. I got curious about it, and I eventually just like ended up giving in and trying it. And like the second I tried it, it just like it like removed things like it removed like problems from me that like I didn't even know that I had. And I'd just been like walking around with like so much weight on my back, I felt like, and like it like lifted all that off of me. And uh yeah, right when I tried it, I was like, This, I'm going to do this again.

SPEAKER_00 9:17

Afterwards, in in that moment, you're like, okay, all the weight's kind of coming off. Like the next day, did you feel the same way? Like, I want to get that again, or was there like a piece of your head that's like I I felt that thing that I feel like could kind of trigger addiction?

SPEAKER_03 9:31

At that point, like I wasn't even really like connecting those pieces. I feel like I feel like I was just so focused on how it made me feel. Yeah. That it kind of just like everything out, like the concerns and like the warning signs and like the family history, like it all just like went out the window because I just like I had like a kind of like a spiritual experience when I first picked up a drink. Um, and because of like the profoundness of the feeling that I experienced, it was kind of just like it outweighed everything else.

SPEAKER_00 9:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 9:59

And it wasn't even just like the intoxication, it was also, I feel like just the risky behavior, like being underage, like doing something you're not supposed to do, like, you know, trying to like set up who's gonna get you the alcohol, like where you're gonna drink the alcohol. All of those factors like combined into one and and like the the risk and like the just sketchiness of it that like I I love.

SPEAKER_00 10:23

I get that. I'm like, why did I just like doing hood rat shit when I was young? Like, I kind of just like doing naughty stuff. So I was like, why'd you do that? I was like, just need a naughty thing to do at that time.

SPEAKER_03 10:31

Yeah, that's that's like yeah, and I'm still that way today. Like, I just it's just not alcohol and drugs. Um, yeah, it was just the the feeling and the environment and just like the just the vibe of it was kind of just like captured me. And I I would just like knew that I wanted to keep doing it. And I felt like it was a way for me to kind of like maximize my life at the time too, because it made me feel like so good and so social. Yeah. That I was like, I can use this to kind of like be more popular, I can use this to make more friends, I can use this to be funnier, I can use this to be more courageous. Because I I think like, you know, as everybody does at like 14 years old, it's just like you you struggle with like a lot, like esteem and like confidence and it's the most awkward years ever.

SPEAKER_00 11:14

It's horrible.

SPEAKER_03 11:16

That was like a big thing for me too, uh getting sober because I was under the impression that um I had an alcohol and drug problem. And so, you know, I went to treatment, went to 12 step, and I just I guess I just figured that like if I could just remove the alcohol and drug part that my life would get better. Um, and that that was my problem. But uh, you know, there's so much underneath the covers there that like that is literally just the beginning. And I actually get worse when I remove alcohol and drugs, and I'm just like, because I I think I have like a sober problem. I don't necessarily think that I have a drinking problem. I think I have a sober problem.

SPEAKER_01 11:51

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 11:51

Now I'm just like operating with all these defects and I don't even have like an anesthetic. My my relationships will go, you know, my uh self-esteem will go, my ego and my pride will start cropping up back like real quick. Cause I can get high off those things. Yeah. Like I can get high off superiority and ego and thinking I'm different, terminal uniqueness, self-centeredness. My mental build like loves that stuff. Um, and I'll treat it like just like a drug. So, you know, a big thing for me in this process was I feel like I kind of like I had to come to a surrender originally, and that was like almost like a physical surrender in a sense too, because I was like using drugs and alcohol. Your body my life was falling apart, you know, deep like physical detox, all that kind of stuff. That was a surrender. But then I had to come to another surrender where I was sober and I thought that like I figured figured it out. And then I I I had to, you know, I'm just getting crushed by like life itself and I'm not even like using alcohol and drugs. And it's just like my thinking and my defects and these things that like I'm not really like, you know, working on. Yeah. Um, so like being a dry drunk. You're being a dry drunk, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 12:55

And they're like, we need you to stop drinking. You're like, okay, but everything up here is still going on. So now I'm just like, yeah, it's just there. How do I, how do I mitigate that?

SPEAKER_03 13:05

Right. But it's crazy because it's like everything from the outside can look like it's going amazing. And you wouldn't even know, you know, like med school, like fitness, like social media, like all these things. That's just these are ways that like I try to like compensate, you know, and these are these are things that like I try to do to like feel better about myself. So I have to be like very careful about like, you know, leaning into those things like too much. And when when I kind of need to like take a step back and be like, okay, like why why am I actually doing this? Am I doing this to like prove prove a point or am I doing this to like help other people? Am I doing this to like, you know, so it's just like important for me to like really think about all those things.

SPEAKER_00 13:45

It is really important because I feel like a lot of times you can just transfer your addiction somewhere. Like running can become harm reduction, but you're still like if you take it to the next level, it'll be the thing that like ends up hurting your body next. And it and it works.

SPEAKER_03 13:57

Like people talk about like the obsession, like because you know, there's like this thing in the rooms, it's like the obsession is like removed. I think the obsession more so is like redirected, not removed. Um, and it it let me tell you, like it works. Like, I I'm somebody who scored 800 on my SAT, six, like 16th percentile SAT score in, you know, medical school, like passing step one medical exam. Um, you know, never been a good student, um, was the teacher's worst nightmare most of my life. Uh, and you know, now, you know, medical student. Um, and that is a byproduct of just transferring the addiction. I mean, that is just I found something that I loved and I found and I was interested in and um I wanted to explore. And it was just like a shift of like, you know, it was just I'm gonna use like the same kind of obsession that I used to drink and get high, just goes to like school now. Yeah. Um, and you know, I think that there is like a fine line because I think that is like a superpower in some ways that addicts have because we feel so deeply and we care so deeply about things and lock in on the yeah, you can lock in. Yeah, you can lock like and it feels great. Like when you're when you're in that zone of just like, you know, the weekend, like your sober weekend. I have a quote on my Instagram like sober weekends are performance enhancing drugs. Yes. Um, so my weekends before I got into medical school were just like library, running, just like diet on point, you know, all these things kind of just like lined up perfectly, and then just letting them iterate over like weekend and weekend and weekend. Um, you know, while a lot of kids my age, because I got sober at 20, a lot of kids my age in those first two years of sobriety like weren't doing that. The opposite. So there was like an edge to it too that was like I, you know, I'm kind of like going this direction, everybody else is going this direction. And it's it's a very like powerful tool that that addicts have, but it it can also become like very unhealthy. Um, and I think that I did need to kind of have that mindset of of like obsession and you know, addictive personality and just letting it kind of like leak out of me into like these avenues of like medical school and ultra running. Yeah, because like the reality is like for someone like me to go from like 800 SAT, like to something oh GPA, you know, like suspensions, like you know, never a good student to to getting accepted into medical school, trying to be a surgeon, like in all in within like six years. I mean, there's like there is a level of like you kind of have to like you have to like be super selfish, you have to be super driven, you have to be addicted, you have to be obsessed to the process. But there's also like there's also it gets to a point where it's like, okay, like I got here and I'm here and all this stuff has happened and I I have like you know, these defects. It's just like I I still want to like hold on to these like self-centered ways of like living, but in reality, it's just like you know, I need to like kind of change, like because you know, my life looks different now. It's like I I no longer need to like prove myself and like get all the good scores to like get accepted into a school. Like I'm here and like I, you know, now it's just like there's different priorities and there's different things to do. So I think um, you know, another thing that I've realized that I I just hate change. I hate change, you know. I want to hold on to all these, like to all these things that like I've built that I that I felt like have gotten me here. But the reality is like I think to like maximize your personal growth, like you have to be able to adjust.

SPEAKER_00 17:21

Yes, absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 17:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:22

So you are in high school, we are starting to drink. Does it evolve into other substances after you start drinking?

SPEAKER_03 17:31

You know, marijuana ended up trying cocaine. And when I tried cocaine, I was like, okay, like this is fun. Yeah, this is like what I love. Like this is my thing. Um, I was a lifeguard like on the beach in my hometown. It was basically like a fraternity, but like in the summertime. Yeah, that's right. That's where I was introduced to it. And um, yeah, I remember just like doing this line and just like, oh my gosh, like that was I I had thought like that like drinking was my thing, but when I did that, I was like, this is definitely my thing. And then you can kind of use it because like you can get drunk and then you can get like too drunk, and then you can do a line and then you're like good. Um, so like I loved like playing with that balance. Um, and you know, Adderall, like all the different things, basically everything except heroin for me. Same with the drink. It just like I loved the feeling of it. I ended up uh going to college. Somehow I got accepted into college. Um but my but my mindset was kind of just like I'm here to have a good time. Yeah. And I'm, you know, finally separated from like my house, and I can, you know, use the way I want, drink the way I want, come home whenever I want, um, you know, not have to worry about any of those things. And yeah, just like, you know, slowly and slowly, slowly I just, you know, started just literally degrading like as a human. And, you know, I'd wake up and like my skeleton would like be vibrating from like all the stimulants um and the alcohol. And uh, you know, I thought it was like anxiety, I thought it was depression, which which it probably was. Yeah, it's like kind of, but it's but it's like a by yeah, it's like a byproduct of that, right? And I'm like in denial, right? So I'm like calling people about it and I'm like, look, I got some like major anxiety here, and like, you know, it's not my fault, and we need to figure this out. Yeah, I remember being in like uh I was like in some like lab class or something for like freshman year of undergrad, and I'm like, I'm like shaking when I'm like trying to like pour a liquid into like another beaker. So yeah, so you know, doing that whole thing and then like just didn't just keep, you know, there was the consequences were slowly building, but like again, it was just like I was hooked on what I wanted to do and I wanted to get high and feel good. That outweighs the consequences, yeah. So it was just like I was gonna keep doing that, and then that eventually led me to like dropping out of college um my sophomore year and taking a leave. I took like a medical leave. Um, and then I went back home, and that was like the worst thing for me because now like I don't even have school to like worry about. So now I'm just like at my mom's house. Yeah. And just the only thing that I really can do now is like get high and and use drugs. And I remember like in that car ride home, I remember thinking that feeling like very bad for myself and a lot of self-pity. And I remember just thinking, like, you know, I've tried because at the time, like, you know, I was trying to like figure out, like, I knew I wasn't doing well.

SPEAKER_00 20:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:08

And I was trying to like see psychiatrists, and I was trying to like go to therapy, and I was trying to like start running again and all these different things. Um, and obviously, like none of them was working because I wasn't like removing like the crux of the problem, which was like my using habits. And um, I just remember like being on that ride home and just being like, look, I've tried this, this, and this, and like nothing's working. And you know, now I'm dropping out of college. I just I give up, and the only thing that makes me feel better is getting high, and I'm I'm just gonna get high for the rest of my life. Like, that's what I'm gonna do. Like, I decided that on the on the car ride home and uh went home and like that's exactly what I did. Um, so now I'm like using like 24-7, blowing all my money, like stealing money. Um, you know, nobody really knows that I'm using, I'm pretty good at like hiding it. Um somehow. Um, they just think I'm having like a psychotic like break, I think. So then I was like in and out of psych wards, which I hated psych wards. Okay. That was like my worst. Cause I I'd be like in basically like a drug-induced psychosis. I'd be up for like five days um and then saying crazy stuff. And then they would, you know, obviously like have to like involuntarily commit me into a psych ward for two weeks, and then I detox in the psych ward and um meet with psychiatrists and just a psych ward, man. I just, you know, you're like in paper scrubs, you're in like the rubber socks, uh, you can't even have shoelaces. And I remember like being like in the shower one day at a psych ward. It was like my third or fourth psych ward. You know, there's like no like shower door because like there's no like door handles. Nope.

SPEAKER_00 21:35

It's all open. And it's like can a girl get some privacy?

SPEAKER_03 21:39

Yeah. And uh I remember just like sitting in the shower and just being like, I swear to God, like I'm not coming back to one of these places. Like, I swear, like I'm not gonna do it. Um, and I was like so serious with myself in that moment. And um, you know, I was like, I'm not gonna get high again. Get out, like a couple days go by, start getting high again, end up back in one. And um, you know, it was just like that cycle for a while. Of like either I was either going to a psych word or I was going to a detox. And then I was going to like a, you know, impatient like 30 day. And then, you know, I was leaving, telling everybody I was gonna get clean. You know, people like going out of their way for me to like help set me up when I got out of these places to, you know, give me the best shot that that was possible for me to like, you know, really like move past this and you know, still just like ended up getting high.

SPEAKER_00 22:23

Do you know how many facilities you've gone to?

SPEAKER_03 22:26

Like combined sight goards, detoxes, and rehabs, probably like close to 10, maybe, maybe more. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:32

The last treatment center you went to, was that when you were able to get sober?

SPEAKER_03 22:36

Yes. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:38

What do you feel like was the difference with that compared?

SPEAKER_03 22:40

I think it was like uh internal. I think I rock bottom. I think I was in a lot of pain. I was out of options. So I actually my last um, my last day was I was at a psych ward and I was leaving the psych ward. And of course, like I wasn't trying to go to like aftercare. But at this point, everybody's like, you know, caught up to like how I've been like working, and they're like, you're gonna get high again. If you do like you're not coming back to my house, you're not getting your own place, you're not going to a sober living around here, you're gonna get high again, or you're gonna run away and find drugs. Um, so you can we're you have two options. We're gonna drop you off back off at the Atlantic City homeless shelter, or you can get on get on this plane and go back down to Florida. And at the time I was like December in in Jersey, so it's like cold out. And you know, they're said it, they're showing me pictures of like the treatment places, which they would always do um because they literally look like a resort.

SPEAKER_01 23:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:32

Especially first picture is the pool.

SPEAKER_03 23:34

Yeah, it's like the pool, it's like a spa, it's like massages. Uh-huh. And every time I'd go down there, I'd pack like five bathing suits. I'm like, it's gonna make it I love that. Yeah, I'd be like, maybe, maybe this is the right thing for me. And then I'd go down there, I'd have like all swimsuits in my luggage. Like, we wouldn't go to the pool once at the place I've I would go to, like the inpatient like facility where you would do like groups all day wasn't part of like you would live like in condos, and then but most of the day you'd be at this place. So, like by the time you got back home, it was like 6 p.m. And it's just like dinner by myself, yeah. Dinner, it's like you know, there's like a truck that takes you to the gym, so you kind of like decide like what you want to do, evening meeting, yeah. Yeah, evening meeting, yeah, exactly. So I had like an ultimatum, and it was actually a very hard decision for me at the time. I was like, Atlantic City Homeless shelter sounds pretty nice. You know, at this point too, I had like no hope. I was just like, this is just a lost cause. You know, I'm like 19, I'm like caketic. I have like I'm weighing maybe like 150, 140 pounds. Um, I am just like, I'm kind of like psycho because I'm like using so many stimulants and I really don't, I've never put together a lot of clean time. Uh so just kind of going insane. And um yeah, something got me on that plane to Florida though. So then I went on that plane, kind of went down there with the same mindset, like, you know, I'm just gonna like kind of hit a reset button and not really sure if I like want to get because I don't even know what that looks like to get sober. At at the time I was tw I just turned 20 years old when I got by the time I got on the plane. I don't even know like what that looks like to get sober at 20. Like, you know, I'm like going down to this place again, you know, every rehab I go to, they're telling me that like, you know, I'm never gonna be able to drink again for the rest of my life. And like that's the only way that I've I've been able to experience like happiness for the past couple years of my life. So it's just like that's a incredibly hard pill to swallow.

SPEAKER_00 25:18

Seems unimaginable.

SPEAKER_03 25:20

I don't know anybody that's like my age and like doing it at the time. Um, and there are people out there. Um, I just didn't run into them. But um, yeah, so you know, I'm a little bit confused there because I'm just like, how like why am I in this position where like I need to all my other friends are fine? Like they're at the bar. You know, I can open up like my Instagram stories and see everybody else like doing it normally. Like, why can't I? But I went down to this treatment facility and um, you know, in a lot of pain and you know, coming off, you know, drugs again.

SPEAKER_00 25:57

This podcast is brought to you by recovery.com. Recovery.com is a place where anyone can find mental health or addiction treatment options specific to them. You can filter by location, price, insurance, coverage, therapy type, mental health condition, levels of care, and so much more. Recovery.com is the best place to find mental health or addiction treatment for anyone, anywhere.

SPEAKER_03 26:22

And at this facility, I met people who were were more my age. They were, they were actually, I think they were my same age. Um met some peers, yes. Yes. And they were like fired up about uh sobriety, like something I'd never like seen before, especially at rehab because you go to rehab, everybody's negative. They're like, you don't understand, like I have a business, I can't be in here, you know, they're trying to leave. They got all these grand plans.

SPEAKER_00 26:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 26:45

And so I'm with these kids. And like typically, to be honest with you, like I wouldn't even really hang out with kids that had that attitude because I was like, fuck that. Nerd. I'm not, yeah. I try to, but I but they were like the only kids my age there. So I was forced by necessity to hang out with these people because it was either that or I'm hanging out with like the 65-year-old who's like divorced, his kid date. I'm like, no, but no effective kids on the nerds, but there's just a lot there. Like, there's a lot to kind of talk about. Maybe in a few years. When I got my own shit going on, and I'm just like, yeah. So I'm like, fuck it. I'm gonna hang out with the nerds.

SPEAKER_01 27:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 27:20

And uh they were just like, oh, they were they were just excited.

SPEAKER_01 27:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 27:24

Like, and and it was like, it was like corny, but it was also like inspiring. You needed it at that time. Because it was just like, and they weren't even like excited, like they they were they liked like going to meetings, they they wanted to get a sponsor, like they wanted to do all the things, but more so like they were excited about the idea of like, you know, it's it's kind of weird because in recovery, like a lot of people talk about like, you know, one day at a time and stay in the moment and like, you know, don't drink just for today and all those things, right? And I think that's important. But what really like opened my eyes uh with this specific group of people and this last experience I had in treatment was these kids were excited about like the long game of sobriety. They were excited about, okay, I'm 20. What would my life look like? Not a day from now, not 30 days from now, not six months from now, not even a year from now. What would my life look like five years from now, 10 years from now, 15 years from now? If I got sober at at this age and just let sobriety iterate, right? It's like what does that really look like? And what it looks like is, you know, you're you're sober through the like massive ups and downs of being a 20-year-old kid, you know, that's like living like a very different lifestyle than is than is typical. And, you know, you're you're forced to just like, you know, face all of these like emotional ups and downs at such a young age. And like, you know, that kind of like builds you into like this person and allows you to like establish self-esteem, allows you to build confidence, allows you to understand like who you really are, create your own boundaries and like where you stand and what you actually want to do. Like, what do you actually want to do? I had no idea I wanted to go to med school when I was getting sober.

SPEAKER_00 29:03

If you told me, like I would So growing up, this was never like a this was never in the in the plans.

SPEAKER_03 29:08

Neither was I mean, running was always there, but like didn't like it. Yeah, yeah, I hated it. So it's just like to think that I would have been running, um, you know, how much as the amount of running now, still at this age, it's just like I would have never thought that. But these kids would just they loved the idea of like what would happen if I stayed sober and let sobriety iterate in my life over a long period of time. And I just like fell in love with that idea. Yeah, I was just like, that that might be like crazy enough to work. Like, because I know that like the the right way forward is probably for me to like not use alcohol and drugs. I've seen it time and time again. I get high, I tell myself I'm only gonna use once. I tell myself I'm gonna use for a week, put it down. And I can never do that. Try and make rules for yourself, doesn't work out. I can never do that. So that's that's kind of like what started off like my journey was that. And um, you know, hung out with those kids, got became open-minded enough to not go back to Jersey after the 30-day rehab stay. So I, you know, transitioned into like a serber living down in Florida for a little bit. I got an opportunity because I was like just researching like different because the place I was at was like it was kind of like a rundown like serber living and um not a lot of young people. And I was I just felt like I like couldn't stay there.

SPEAKER_00 30:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 30:21

Um, but I knew that like I couldn't go home either because I knew I was probably gonna get high. I was only like a little over 30 days at this point. And um I found this place in California and I like start talking to them and uh they're like, listen, we can like hook you up with a with a bed, um, but like you need to come like this week. Um, so I'm on the phone with the emissions guy, and um I end up taking that opportunity going out there and I enter like a year-long, very structured like behavioral modification, intensive like sober living where you know you don't have a cell phone, um, you're writing essays every day, you're holding your roommates accountable, you're waking up at the same time every day, you're making your bed every day, uh, you're cleaning your dishes, you're doing chores, you're you're cleaning literally everything. Everyone's got chores. Yeah. Um, which I needed because at the time, you know, I was like 20. So I wasn't even like an adult yet. And I was so like emotionally immature because of all the substances and things I was doing. Yeah, that place changed my life because it was just like I had never I didn't have any of those skills. It was very uncomfortable and it sucked. Like it, don't get me wrong, like it, it sucked. And it was like a never-ending, like, oh my gosh, am I actually gonna stay here a year? Like, no, I'm not gonna stay here a year. I'm gonna leave. And you know, I just like met, you know, you get very tight like with the people that you're living with when you're in a situation like that. It's almost like, you know, it's just like you're suffering together.

SPEAKER_00 31:40

You're trauma bonding. Yeah, you're trauma bonding. Yeah, exactly. Um you're going through all the same, like kind of awful stuff together.

SPEAKER_03 31:47

And it's weird too, because it's like, so you know, at this place, like we had there's a system, it was like an accountability system. So every day you were responsible to write, they were called strikes, and you had to write three strikes a day on the people that you lived with. And the strikes are basically like, you know, they're basically like if your roommate is breaking like a house rule. So for example, like if I'm drinking a cup of coffee and I leave it on the coffee table and I like don't put it back in the sink, then someone would come by and be like, oh, whose whose coffee cup is that? Oh, that's David's. Then they would write a strike on me. And you had to write three strikes a day or else you got penalized. So you're right, you're writing like, you're like holding, you're like physically holding roommates accountable. And and like I've never had a relationship like that with somebody. Like I never had like a two-way accountability like relationship. And it's weird at first and like it's awkward, and it's just like it's just kind of bullshit because it's just like, look, like me leaving a coffee table, uh coffee mug on the table is like not the biggest deal in the world, but like it is the biggest deal in the world when you're trying to get sober. Yeah. Because all of that stuff, it's just like the details really matter. Yeah. So it really taught me to like, you know, prioritize um, you know, certain areas of my like really like clean up like a lot of areas in my life that was going to collectively come together and ultimately like support my sobriety. Um and just establishing those relationships was crazy because I just like, you know, I was used to just like letting my friends slide on shit. It paid so many dividends for me doing a year of that because it just made me like so much more comfortable in like healthy confrontation. So, like, you know, fast forward when I would graduate that place and then I went back to college eventually, and I was um I joined the cross country and track team, and now I'm like an upperclassman, like on the cross country and track team. It's like if people on the team are like fucking off during the season, like I had no problem going up to them and being like, hey, like what's going on? You know, because that's a leader, yeah. Because because, but like I but the thing is, like I've never I've never been a leader. Yeah, like I was never a leader until I had to like sit in that environment for a year and like go through the unhealthy uncomfortable conversations of the roommate, like having a conversation with my roommate and just being like, dude, I gotta like write a strike on you for this. And it's not even like you're just writing a strike for someone leaving like a coffee cup out. It's like every morning we we woke up, the first thing we did was the house manager like went through the strikes from the previous day. And depending on the level of the strike, you would accumulate a certain amount of words that you had to finish by the end of the day. So, like me leaving a coffee cup on the table, that's 300 words. So depending on how many strikes I get each day, they all, you know, add up. And then I have to write an essay and turn it in by the end of the day. Um, so it's it's not even just like, oh, like I'm calling you out on this. It's like there's like a physical consequence associated with that action.

SPEAKER_00 34:30

What were some of the small wins that you got in those first 90 days?

SPEAKER_03 34:34

I think fitness was big. Yeah. Um, having like kind of exploring that and using it as like a tool instead of because running like in high school and stuff like that was always something that like I had to do. Yeah, it felt more like a punishment. Felt like a chore.

SPEAKER_01 34:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 34:47

And then it kind of became this thing where I was just like, oh, like I feel better when I wake up and run. I feel better when I run five miles and break a sweat and you know, you know, get back home. I feel like I earned like the time that I get to like relax after that. Um, so I think that. And then I just think like all the tools of just like being in that structured environment, like making my bed every day, waking up the same time every day, like not being a degenerate and going to bed at 3 a.m. every night. It's just like, but these are all things that like I did. And um also just like the community of people, yeah. Like being around being constantly immersed in recovery and seeing like how these people were like treating their recovery too. Because like I never really treat anything, like I never really give anything the time of day. Like, that's just always the kind of person that I was. Like, I don't really care too much. Like too, yeah. If unless it's like making me like feel good instantly, like to be honest, I don't really give a shit about it. You love instant gratification, yeah. And sobriety is delayed gratification, so I don't I didn't give a shit about it. Yeah, um, but I was living with these people and we were all in bunk beds. They would shut, they shoved like 16 of us into this house in LA. Woof. Um, and we were sleeping in bunk beds, and I just remember that like, you know, the guy who was sleeping above me, his bed would rattle at 4 a.m. and it would wake me up every morning. Um, because he was he was getting out of bed to hop on his bike to go to a 5 a.m. meeting before he went to work a 12-hour shift. Because the thing about this house was it was like so intense and like you had to go to a meeting every day, and it didn't matter. It didn't matter if you had a 12-hour shift, it didn't matter if your family was back in your life. It didn't matter if, you know, it didn't matter about anything because the point that the whole idea of this house was that sobriety is number one no matter what.

SPEAKER_01 36:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 36:30

Um, you know, so I'm in this environment where I'm like seeing that and I'm seeing like how serious like some of these like guys are like taking their recovery. Yeah. And, you know, eventually I'm like, I need to start doing that too. Um, and it kind of like wears off on me. And I really like try to keep that attitude today, you know, because that's like the other thing about this. It's just like I never really believe that like I'm recovered. I still think this is like a daily reprieve. I think it's like a wake up and start from zero mindset. Um, and you know, I gotta keep sobriety number one because if I don't have my sobriety, then I I don't have anything at all.

SPEAKER_00 37:02

How is it that you maintain your sobriety now outside of that environment and now like in the real world? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 37:11

Um, I think it's just like who you surround yourself with. There are people that aren't into that. Um, you know, they might do it a little bit, but they're just they're just more into like waking up early and going on a run, they're more into fitness, they're more into, you know, just different things that like don't involve going out and feeling like crap all day. Yeah, getting blackout drunk and then, you know, waking up hungover and just like. So I I think there's that. Um, I also just I had a phase where I like wanted to still be like the sober person who was the life of the party and like was going out and like drinking playing flip cup with Red Bull and stuff like that. And I did that for a while in undergrad, and then eventually I was just like, this is just I it wasn't for me. Like I just felt like it was I was wasting my time. I was staying up till four in the morning, dead sober. And um, I was just like, I'm trying to like hold on. I just felt like I was trying to like hold on to like this old way of life without the alcohol and drugs, and it was just like it just didn't hold on, yeah. It just didn't suit me. I know I I have a lot of sober friends that like that's their thing, um, which is fine. But yeah, for me, it was just like I'm gonna spend my time doing something else.

SPEAKER_01 38:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 38:17

Um, so now it's just like, you know, there's a fine line because you know, I do the reality is like I do need to like go to a bar occasionally to like meet people and get connected and you know build relationships and stuff like that. Um, and I have no problem doing that. And honestly, like nobody really asks too many questions, especially if you like have just like a club soda in your hand. I also think that like if you are like the kind of person that's you know leading by example in that way, like people really tend to gravitate toward that. Yes. Um especially if you're, you know, I was living with people in undergrad and I was sober. And um, a lot of those guys, like they started drinking like way less just being around me. And I had some of them like come up to me and say, like, dude, like, you know, you're just like the way that you like handle that and don't drink, like it just like made it had like a really healthy impact on my life. Uh-huh. And it changed a lot of like the ways that I think about it. And like, I just want to like thank you for that. And um, you know, I I have friends that are sober for years too, and they have the same experiences with that as well. I think like, especially at a younger age, I think that it's really something that people tend to like respect. Yeah. So that is so cool. That's like the biggest thing. Like, if I could like sum up like what the message that like I'm trying to put out to the world, I'm trying to like show people that like you can get sober in your 20s and still be like cool and still like be like do whatever you want and still have fun and still laugh and still like enjoy yourself and like still do all the things that like you know everybody else does, but you don't have to be intoxicated. Yes. Like I can go to a bar or where wherever. Like, I it doesn't even bother me like really being around alcohol. But like I when I went to those places when I was still drinking, like I always like needed it, needed something in me to like be able to like be my authentic self. Now I can just go and I just like I just am my authentic self. Like before, like if I did like a podcast before, like I would there's no doubt I would have to drink before doing this because I would get nervous and I have to turn on, like I have to turn on. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 40:15

If you could talk to that early college version of yourself and give him some pieces of wisdom, what would that be?

SPEAKER_03 40:25

I honestly I don't think that there's anything that could have been said to that version of me. Um, that's the funny thing like about uh recovery, in my opinion, is and even like with stuff like this, like the podcasts and like the speaker meetings and the AA, it's just like I think that people like mistake this for like an academic process. And I think that it's you know, it's kind of put forward that like you can just educate yourself and you can learn and you can memorize and you can, you know, read the book and you can just kind of like learn this as if it's a mathematics equation. And then once you have the equation, you can just apply it to anything and then it's gonna work every time. This is not an academic process, this is an experiential process. So for me, like I needed to quite literally like be molded by like desperation and like suffering and rock bottom. And you know, I needed to reach a certain level of pain to be able to really like give an honest look at myself and to be able to like actually want to change, like from a deep, dark place within me. Like I needed to get to a point where like my back was against the wall and I had tried every single thing and explored every single idea in my head that I had that I thought might work. And I went down the alley and you know, everything came crashing and burning down behind me. And um, you know, it wasn't until I got to, you know, at the homeless shelter that day. It was just like it wasn't until I was in that position um and totally emotionally broken that, you know, I was ready to actually change. Um, you know, God Himself could have came down and said the perfect sentiment to me um when I was in that college dorm, uh packing all my shit up because I was dropping out. Um it wouldn't have worked. Um, I had to, I had to go through the pain. Um, and you know, that's like a big reason, you know, why the running is still like very prevalent in my life because I'm a big believer in intentional suffering and putting yourself in these situations where, you know, you're constantly uncomfortable, your back's up against the wall, like a hundred-mile race, you know, you have to make decisions like this, you have to turn off the part of your head that's like negative. Um, and you have to just like figure out a way through the chaos. Um, and I think that that reveals a lot about like who you really are as a person. And I think it's like uh quite honestly, I think it's like a very like rare window of time. Like when I'm at like mile 70, mile 80 in a hundred mile race, it's a very rare window of time where I am actually like authentically honest with myself. And everything that's going in my head is is and everything that like I'm thinking about is just like pure and um just like there's no no like bullshit. It's just like this is like who I am, and um, it's a blessing to just be able to like, you know, be in those positions and to just like, you know, whenever I do a hundred mile races, like I'm always thinking about like that first year in recovery. Um, because it was just like such like a struggle. And um, I don't know, like for me, it's like important to like keep going back to like that pain and and to remember that like, you know, I went through this and I got to the other side of it. And not only that, but like I'm so comfortable with it and I'm so like I've reflected on so much of like this recovery journey that like I voluntarily go back by like simulating those same emotions, like you know, obviously not by like going out and relapsing, but like the emotion and running and yes, the emotion and running is very similar, yeah. And let me be clear like I'm not saying everybody should be running a hundred miles. That is not what I'm saying. That's insane. But I do think that like it's in it's for the most part, it's important to like, you know, put some challenge. Challenges in front of you. It doesn't even have to be physical. It could be anything. Um, because I think a lot of happiness in and of itself is just like a reflection of like bad times. Yeah. Like I don't know if happiness is actually like happiness. Like I think happiness is just a byproduct of like, you know, oh, I suffered for like a year trying to get sober and like I, you know, made it through that. And now I can like, it's like a reflection, it's like a reflection of suffering.

SPEAKER_01 44:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 44:22

Yeah. So like if your life is like too good for a while, it's just like, and you don't have any like bad moments or like anything that you overcame that you can like really reflect on and be like, okay, I was tough enough to get through that. Like, I'm not gonna be happy. Yeah, I I don't think I would. So, you know, it's important for me to like keep, you know, putting these challenges in front of myself.

SPEAKER_00 44:41

That's cool.

SPEAKER_03 44:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:43

What is something recovery has given you or sobriety has given you that you didn't even like think possible before?

SPEAKER_03 44:50

Just being okay with myself. Yeah. It's it's possible to get sober and actually love who you are. Um, I think that was a big thing that I struggled with for a while. I woke up that first year, I hated everything about myself. Every day was a struggle. Just getting out of bed, putting my feet on the floor was a struggle. Um, and I just kind of accepted, like, once I got like six months in and I continued to feel that way, I kind of just accepted that like this is gonna just how it's gonna be. It's just life is just gonna suck. And I'm not gonna be okay with myself, and I'm never gonna be comfortable with my own skin, and I'm gonna have a tremor, a resting tremor because I'm so anxious all the time. And my voice is gonna shake no matter who I talk to. And, you know, I'm never gonna be able to talk to a woman, and you know, this is just gonna have this is just a product of of my decisions, and I just have to deal with it. Um, and that's not true. Like eventually you get to a point where, you know, you are able to like reflect and do the inner work and you know, walk, trudge through that, like those painful times, and you get you do get to the other side and you get comfortable with yourself and um you begin to like actually know who you are. Like I didn't know who I was, I didn't even know what I liked to do. I thought I just liked to drink. And it's just like everybody likes to drink. So, like, that's not really like what you what you like to do. That's not actually that's like that's not fun. That's not fun to you, right? Like, yeah, that's just like it's just like a it's a chemical that's like inducing a high. So it's just like I needed to find like what I was actually passionate about. So I think just you know, the external stuff in this process has been great, right? Like the social media, like the school, like the success, that's been great. But like the real like prize-winning thing about this is waking up and being excited every day, um, and not having to put any kind of chemical or any substance in my body in order to feel that way.

SPEAKER_01 46:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 46:39

And just like being okay with who I am, like being able to, you know, like we were just having lunch, there's like a bunch of people at a table. It's just like being able to just like talk to people and not being like constantly in my head, like, oh my gosh, I'm I'm awkward, like, I don't know what to say. Like these people don't like me. Do they like me? Like that was that was a struggle, and I don't struggle with that anymore, but I'm saying like that was a struggle for me. Yeah, like every day. Like it was and it like with every interaction. And I would lay in bed at night and I would and I would roll around, I wouldn't be able to sleep because I'd be like reflecting on these moments where I've just like I was just like uptight, like about everything.

SPEAKER_00 47:16

And um just overanalyzing every interaction, literally, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 47:20

And like it's it's not that way anymore. And um, you know, it's as a result of like this process, and people are gonna be like, Well, what does that process look like? Well, the first thing it looks like is like not using any mind or mood altering substances because that's gonna set you up to be in a position where now you have to like just sit with life and sit with the pain, and like there's a lot of on there's a lot, there's a lot is revealed in those moments when you have to just sit in these uncomfortable situations. It's like running a race, right? You have to just sit in these situations and figure out like, you know, why do I feel these because you feel the way you feel for a reason. I honestly believe that. Yeah. If I wake up and I feel sad one day, like I honestly believe that I feel sad for some reason. God is trying to teach me something. I feel sad for some sort of reason. So I need to take that emotion and bring it to the journal or bring it to prayer or bring it to therapy or bring it wherever and really explore that and study that. It's the same thing with the test. It's like if I have a test for medical school and I don't study for the test, I'm not gonna pass a test. No way. Especially not with my background. So studying's crucial. So why are we not treating life like it's the same thing? Why are we not studying life? You know, that's like the first thing I tell my clients when they come to me is I get them in the journal. You should be journaling about everything. You should be journaling about, you know, you should have at least one interaction or one situation a day where you're like, it happens to you. And your first thought should be, okay, I need to bring this to the journal later and like reflect on why I was feeling this way or why I interacted with this person or why I exploded, like, and really like get honest with myself in that so that I can like, you know, figure out like what the core and root problem is. Yes. Um, and then it's just like, you know, it's inner work, it's um, you know, that honesty, and it's just, you know, removing all of the mood and mind altering substances so you're not able to like distract yourself from like the pain that, you know, is it's probably like necessary to feel to some extent.

SPEAKER_00 49:11

Speaking of like clients and your coaching now, um, what yeah, what is going on what's going on with you? Tell us about what's happening now. So now you are sharing your story and helping other people. That's super cool. With I'm sorry, is it recovery coaching?

SPEAKER_03 49:29

Yeah. So most of the coaching I do is sober coaching, but I also do um like fitness coaching as well, and then like some social media coaching. It's nice. I mean, I I just I like helping people. Yeah, um, I like being in the world of like sharing my experience and like doing things like this. Um, so it's nice. But I think like my biggest thing uh that takes up most of my time is is med school and then and then fitness, like where I can fit it in. Um, but the social media has been great because you know, like I said, I think it's just like sharing like my story and kind of just like trying to inspire people that are maybe young and like in and out of rehab and trying to get sober and not really sure how they're gonna be able to do it when all their other friends drink. And um, I just like want to be like somebody that people can look to and be like, okay, like this guy did it. So like, and he seems like pretty happy and content.

SPEAKER_00 50:16

Yes. Uh so you're like the person you needed.

SPEAKER_03 50:19

Yes, yeah, that's that's like the goal. Yeah. Um, and then the med school stuff is, you know, I'm always torn because I'm like addiction medicine or like, you know, other types of medicine. Um, but a big reason I went into med school to begin with was just because like I wanted to help people and I found a passion of helping people through like 12 step and and stuff like that. Um, and then also just like being a patient and going in and out of like rehabs and detoxes and you know, being put on like a million psych meds when I was literally like detoxing off crack cocaine. Yeah. Um, and you know, seeing like flaws in the system, uh, and kind of think just I think that things could be better. I'm not saying that like it's a terrible system, but also like fitness, um, just you know, that like keeps me sane and it's just like an outlet for me and uh trying to just continue pushing uh myself in that in that regard too. So those are like the big three things. That's awesome.

SPEAKER_00 51:13

I love that you share your story because you really are someone to look up to, like you are killing it.

SPEAKER_03 51:18

That's like what the ultimate goal is of everything is to just like really try to like help that like younger population of people that are sober curious or you know have a problem or whatnot, and kind of just like put the idea in the back of their head that like, okay, like maybe I can do it too.

SPEAKER_00 51:34

Yes, you absolutely can. Looking at you who's looking at us. Well, thank you so much for joining us. Thank you for coming to Wisconsin and sharing your story.

SPEAKER_03 51:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 51:45

Um, where share your handles? Where can people follow you? Where can they find you?

SPEAKER_03 51:49

Yeah. So uh main one is just at David Millar Mindset on Instagram. That's really where I most like most am. So um, I also have a book coming out. So the book is uh broken into purpose. It's a daily devotional book. Uh, so it's got like 365 daily devotionals. That's going to be coming sometime in 2026. Um, so if you're into daily devotionals, uh if you like to wake up and start your morning with an inspiring, motivational, recovery-related uh devotional, that is definitely something that you should look into. I promise it's gonna be it's gonna be good. That's so cool of you to do that.

SPEAKER_00 52:26

Whenever it comes out, let us know. So then we can let everyone know on that uh coming up episode that you can go out and get that. Um, thank you so much for joining us.

SPEAKER_03 52:35

Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_00 52:36

Yes, and thank you all for joining us. We'll see you next time on Recovery Cast.