India Gants | Alcohol Dependency, Modeling Pressures, & Sober Scoop Founder

America’s Next Top Model winner India Gants reveals her raw struggle with severe alcohol dependency, toxic relationships, and her path to sobriety. 

Find mental health and addiction treatment near you: https://recovery.com/

In this open and inspiring episode of Recoverycast, America's Next Top Model Cycle 23 winner and host of The Sober Scoop podcast, India Gants, shares her vulnerable recovery journey through alcohol dependency, abusive relationships, and modeling industry pressures. After relying on alcohol as a coping mechanism during COVID isolation and navigating a toxic partner, India experienced a terrifying physical health warning—upper right abdomen pain signaling potential liver damage. Realizing that drinking herself to death was not her destiny, she made the empowering decision to quit drinking cold turkey and embrace sober living without waiting for a catastrophic rock bottom. 

India discusses why she chooses not to label herself an alcoholic, the traps of attempting to moderate alcohol use, and how removing alcohol helped her lose 50 pounds naturally while reclaiming her physical and mental health. From hiding beer in her purse and drinking "hair of the dog" in the morning to breaking free from toxic modeling standards, India's sobriety story offers practical advice and hope for anyone seeking alcohol rehab options, mental health healing, or a supportive sober community. If you or a loved one are struggling with alcohol abuse, hidden drinking habits, or relationship trauma, this episode provides the encouragement you need to start your recovery journey today. 

Be sure to subscribe, leave a comment with your thoughts, and share this video with someone who needs hope!

⏱️ Chapters:

00:00 – Intro

05:42 – Welcome India Gants

07:06 – Life Before Modeling & Discovered at 14

08:42 – Choosing Empowerment Over Labels

11:43 – Toxic Relationships & COVID Alcohol Dependency

23:06 – Physical Health Warnings & Fear of Liver Damage

26:29 – Quitting Drinking Cold Turkey & The Myth of Moderation

33:48 – Reclaiming Health & 50-Pound Weight Loss Journey

40:26 – Unrealistic Body Standards in the Modeling Industry

44:23 – Finding Hope & Creating The Sober Scoop Community

❓ Questions the Video Answers:

1. How can alcohol dependency develop in secret during isolation? 
2. What is "hair of the dog" drinking and why is it harmful? 
3. Can you quit drinking alcohol without identifying as an alcoholic? 
4. What are early physical warning signs of alcohol-related liver damage? 
5. Why is moderating alcohol consumption often harder than quitting completely? 
6. How does quitting alcohol impact physical health and weight loss? 
7. How do toxic relationships contribute to problematic drinking? 
8. Is it safe to quit drinking cold turkey? 
9. How do you navigate body image pressure in the modeling industry? 
10. Why do people hide their drinking from loved ones? 
11. How can you find motivation to stop drinking before hitting rock bottom? 
12. What role does alcohol play in masking ADHD symptoms? 
13. How do you rebuild your relationship with your body after getting sober? 
14. What are the benefits of finding a sober community in recovery? 
15. How do you transition from secret drinking to sharing your sobriety journey? 

#AddictionRecovery #SobrietyStories #AlcoholFree

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:13

Even through America's next top model, I went out and partied a lot, but I didn't consider it to be a problem yet. I keep saying, then it got worse, then it got worse, then it got worse. I mean that's what happens. But yeah, it's like like drinking myself to death in my mid-30s or 40s is not my destiny. This is not what I'm here for. That's what contributed to me getting sober.

SPEAKER_02 0:39

Hi, and welcome to today's episode of Recovery Cast. I'm Brittany Baynard.

SPEAKER_01 0:43

And I'm Brittany Baynard, just kidding, I'm Sam Roberts. Uh we're so excited to have you here. We have a wonderful guest today.

SPEAKER_02 0:48

Yes, we do. We're so excited. But before that, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:52

No, sorry, you go ahead. I'm just kidding. I'll go. Um I'm sorry. Stupid. Max, leave all that in. All right, Brittany, do you mind if I uh read you a couple quick comments? Do I ever mind? We love when our listeners andor watchers uh leave comments or reviews right into recoverycaster at recovery.com. Um and here's a couple of people. This is the first one uh comes from a comment on John Gosson's episode on YouTube. This comes from uh uh Dora. Dora said, I found your channel today. I appreciate the lighthearted nature of the podcast considering the content. It's clear that you guys take the responsibility of understanding addiction seriously while still trying to create a positive experience for viewers. I've never experienced addiction, but yet I find these stories of healing so important. Y'all are awesome, but keep it going to art emoji. Dora, thank you so much. And exactly that. But so much wind in my sales. I don't know about you, Brittany. I want to do that. I love it.

SPEAKER_02 1:43

Because I mean that is huge. Something we think about with every single guest we have on this show is that these are really, really hard conversations, are really hard topics. This is somebody's life, and they are willing to share it with people in hopes that other people can find something to help themselves or some connection or something. Joy. Joy is the huge thing. Right. We always want to end on joy and where somebody is at now in their recovery journey, um, and sometimes what they're doing to help other people, which is like the best part. Um so we really appreciate you noticing that. We we are very intentional about that. So thank you.

SPEAKER_01 2:17

Some people see recovery. I'm sorry, I'm going off. You guys just want to listen to India. Some people think of recovery, whether it's recovery from addiction or uh mental health recovery, PTSD recovery, whatever. Let's just say addiction. People go in thinking recovery is like a beer bottle with a with an X through it. You know what I mean? Like the Ghostbusters logo, like don't do this. And then you uh get into the space more, you get into recovery yourself, and you realize like no, like me at the park playing with my two-year-old daughter, that is what recovery is. Recovery is the ability to do that. And so, anyway, that's like why we make the set look like a family room I want to be in. That's why like we have fun music and have and why we're that's why we're here.

SPEAKER_02 2:54

Let's just freaking okay. This is why we're here.

SPEAKER_01 2:56

This is why we're here. We're here for one more comment, really quick.

SPEAKER_02 2:58

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 2:59

This comment comes from Lexus. This is on Ripley Coop's episode. She said, Shout out Lila. Shout out Lila! Lila! Shout out! Lila's a guy, dude. Next year, guys, if we get enough comments, if we get enough uh subscribers and comments of people saying shout out Lila, we'll get Lila as a guest next year.

SPEAKER_02 3:13

We'll make a t-shirt.

SPEAKER_01 3:14

And she can share her perspective on Ripley's story. Can you imagine?

SPEAKER_02 3:17

That'd be cool. I love that.

SPEAKER_01 3:19

Okay, I'm done being dumb.

SPEAKER_02 3:20

That's hilarious. No, uh, that was a good go-off. Okay, so today's guest is India Ganser, known to millions as the winner of Cycle 23, America's Next Hot Model. Girls just out there living my dreams. So after overcoming a severe alcohol dependency fueled by a toxic relationship and industry pressures, she has dedicated her life to helping people find freedom through her podcast and recovery community, The Sober Scoop. And we're so excited for you guys to listen to this episode. Absolutely hilarious. Side note, okay, so we are in Madison, Wisconsin. That's where we film the show. We fly our guests in and host them here. And the lovely hotel, Hotel Indigo that we partner with uh that's right down the street. Um, shout out Indigo. Um, lovely hotel. They give all of the guests these really nice little gift baskets. And everyone's usually flying in in the afternoon a little bit hungry. Everyone's a little bit hungry. Tired. Uh-huh. And uh within this gift basket is this little triangle because Wisconsin cheese, right?

unknown 4:20

Right.

SPEAKER_01 4:20

Looks like cheese.

SPEAKER_02 4:21

Looks like cheese, got the holes in everything. It's not cheese.

SPEAKER_01 4:24

It's a bar of soap.

SPEAKER_02 4:24

It's a bar of soap. And when India came into the studio, she's like, I have to tell you guys something that I did late last night. And I was like, oh god, please don't let it be the cheese. And she's like, the cheese. I was like, the cheese.

SPEAKER_01 4:35

She ate the soap.

SPEAKER_02 4:36

She ate the soap. You can go over to her social. She posted the video of it because she was doing this like sweet unboxing of the baggage they gave her and just live. Yeah, so uh not the only guest that that's happened to. I think she's the third that has mentioned it.

SPEAKER_01 4:53

Yeah, that's told us. It's admitted.

SPEAKER_02 4:54

There might be a lot of pride and shame in admitting it, but if anybody else has just comment cheese.

SPEAKER_01 4:59

Yeah, comment cheese if you're not sure. Or cheese soap, I think that's even better. Comment comment. I just want a hundred people to comment, I've eaten soap, and I want our bosses to be like, what is happening?

SPEAKER_02 5:06

I also brought up, I was like, but what if it was soap? If it was cheese in the shape of soap. Right. Which would you rather have? Cheese in the shape of soap, and you accidentally wash yourself with a block of cheese.

SPEAKER_01 5:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:19

Or take a little bite of soap.

SPEAKER_01 5:21

These are conversations that happen at like a fourth grade sleepover. AKAR office. Yeah, exactly. So I do just want to say, and I know that you guys are like, get to India's episode, and we will in just a second. I brought it up in our like production meeting today. I was like, do we ask them to take the cheese soap out? We shot that idea. Everybody said no. So if you want to be, I guess, on Recovery Cast, you too could have the opportunity to eat soap someday. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 5:43

So we're going to be able to do that. Speaking of good, clean fun. Yes. Let's let's get into the episode. Here we go. Today we are welcomed by India Gance, known by millions online for winning cycle 23 of America's Next Top Model and building a successful international modeling career. After overcoming a severe alcohol dependency fueled by an abusive relationship and industry pressure, she has dedicated her life to helping people find freedom through her podcast and recovery community, The Sober Scoop, India. Welcome to the show. Thank you so much for coming. Thank you. Thank you for that wonderful intro. Yes. No, I'm so I was so excited when I found out you're gonna be a guest because truly America's next top model was like my dream as a kid. I remember your season. Like I remember, yes, and it is so cool to see you in person too. You recognize me without the purple hair? Oh, you were such a vision. You, okay, like that dress that you wore when you found out you won was killer and it went so well with your hair. Thank you. Yeah. So it was just like you were what a journey. Yeah, it's so cool. You're just this like it was this larger than life personality, and I appreciated getting to watch you, and it's so cool getting to meet you in person. So we'll dive into like all that stuff, but before America's next top model and you blowing up on social media, you're just a girl from Washington. So take me back there. What was it like teenage you? And how did you get like discovered?

SPEAKER_03 7:18

Yeah, I grew up in Seattle, Washington, and had a wonderful upbringing. I have three siblings and my two wonderful parents. And it was just kind of, you know, perfection growing up. We had a really great family unit and I was very sporty. That took up most of my time growing up. Volleyball. Uh yes. How did you know? Yeah, I know. Volleyball and softball were my main sports. And then um, I started, well, I watched America's Next Top Model and loved that show, loved all the supermodels, like you were saying. And around 14, 15, people started telling me that I should model. And I was like, what me? Um, because you know, I I used to be able to fit my pinky in between my two front teeth. I had it. That's beauty, darling. It could have been the look. Yes. Um, but alas, I got braces. Braces. Um, but then I was like, oh my God, could I do this? And I kind of opened my mind to it. And one day I was in an art museum and somebody came up to me and said, you know, I'm with so-and-so agency, you should come model. You got an in-person like discovery. Oh my god. Yes. It didn't end up working out with that agency. But then I found the one that I've been with for 13 years, 14 years, and went on the show. And the rest is history. I've had modeling in my life for over half my life at this point, which is crazy.

SPEAKER_02 8:38

So neat. So before we get into like the recovery part of your story, you've been intentional when you share this, that you don't consider yourself an alcoholic. Can you kind of like describe why that is?

SPEAKER_03 8:54

Yeah. I this is just me personally, by the way. And I totally see the value in calling yourself an alcoholic and um identifying as that so that you don't feel like maybe you could dabble with alcohol again. I totally see the benefit. But for me personally, I feel that I'm not powerless to alcohol. In fact, I feel like I defeated alcohol and that gives me power and that empowers me. That is what keeps me sober. Is I'm like, I did that. I it came from within. I found the motivation in myself. And to me, that gives me power. And feeling like I'm weak or sick or diseased, it doesn't, it doesn't do it for me.

SPEAKER_00 9:32

So beautiful.

SPEAKER_03 9:33

That's just me, me personally. Yeah. I don't, I don't use the word addict or alcoholic typically for myself.

SPEAKER_02 9:40

So did like your alcohol use kind of kick off as like modeling kicks off your having like life experiences and whatnot, or did you dabble back in high school at all?

SPEAKER_03 9:50

I was quite the goody two shoes in high school. And I even remember a moment where my friends and I, like in our senior year of high school, we were all goody two shoes and athletes. And we got together and like sat around to have our or to like get drunk for the first time together. And we all sat there with like just vodka and nothing else and just sipped it. And we were like, when are we gonna feel it? You know, we didn't go to any of the parties, none of that. It was more of like a ceremonial thing. Exactly. We were like, we need to experience this before we graduate. So yeah, didn't dabble with alcohol at all in high school. And then I graduated. And instead of going to college, I moved to Greece and then Italy and then Singapore and then New York. And I was just modeling all over the world. And I drank a lot. Um, I went out and partied, and there was always like bottle service, and I was just like, what is this world? And if you go out as a model, you get free dinner with promoters and stuff. So I didn't have much money. I would get my free dinner and I would go out to the club and party. And I know that sounds crazy, but it actually was really fun. I wasn't like misusing alcohol. I wasn't drinking alone. It was just when I was going out. And I didn't consider it to be a problem through my modeling career, even through America's next top model. I went out and partied a lot, but I didn't consider it to be a problem yet.

SPEAKER_02 11:10

I feel like it would also not seem like an issue when everybody else is doing the same thing. This is like what I'm hired to do. I'm hired to like go to this dinner, attend, be on. And then this is what everyone around me is also doing. Why would that be a problem?

SPEAKER_03 11:25

Yeah, totally. And it I was just out of the house for the first time and traveling and just experiencing life. And um, yeah, I it didn't go too overboard. You know, it was a few drinks a night, a few times per week. Yeah. Um, and then obviously got way worse. But yeah, I just partied in what I consider to be a healthy ish way. Yeah for a young person.

SPEAKER_02 11:47

Right. We always gauge that too, with like a I'm just at this like young point in my life. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:52

So when does it kick off for you? Is it during COVID? Yeah. During COVID is when it got really bad because it was kind of like all bets are off and I wasn't working, wasn't modeling. I worked at a bar also, and I got laid off from that, obviously. Um, but it was the combo of this really not great boyfriend that I had that I met right as COVID was starting, like two weeks before the world shut down. And it was just that combo of us together. You're like, let's lock down together. Yeah, and we and we did. And I kind of knew that he wasn't my person. I saw red flags right from the beginning. But it was like, ah, why not? There's nothing else going on. The world's ending. I'm bored. Let's drink all day and just have a good time together. Yeah.

unknown 12:38

Been there.

SPEAKER_02 12:38

Yeah. Not COVID specifically, but that I'm bored this person will be fine for now.

SPEAKER_03 12:43

No, exactly. Uh-huh. To share one story with that. He is the one who introduced me to the idea of morning drinking. That was never something that I considered doing. That was like, oh my God, you're an you're an alcoholic if you drink in the morning. Yeah. Like you have a that just defined a problem for me. Why did morning drinking start? Because we were hungover one day. And he was like, why don't we order McDonald's and get some ciders and just like drink this hangover away? And I was like, what in the world? And I learned that it was called the hair of the dog. And if you drink alcohol when you're hungover from alcohol, it can cure your hangover. And so every time that I was hungover, which was most days, I was drinking in the morning to fix that and feel better.

SPEAKER_02 13:32

I always like wondered, was like, who thought of that? Because doesn't that just mean you're just getting drunk again? Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:39

Yeah. I I mean, later into my drinking problems, it was almost like medic medication for me. I was like, I need to have three beers before breakfast just to feel normal.

SPEAKER_02 13:49

Yeah, it becomes habitual.

SPEAKER_03 13:51

It's like you know that's your Tylenol. Yeah, yeah, totally to kick off the day. And then I was then I'd stop for a little while, get some work done, whatever else, and then start drinking again in the afternoon. But it was just my medicine to get through the day.

SPEAKER_02 14:03

And were you guys like drinking together kind of in isolation, or does this progress into something you're also doing by yourself?

SPEAKER_03 14:10

When it was him and I, it was very much together, but that was just the beginning fun COVID era. And it definitely went south. Okay. He uh he became, you know, very manipulative and uh just treated me really, really poorly. I was crying every day. We'd get in these screaming matches, and I'm not a screaming type person, never happen. And it just got really, really dark. And to get through that relationship, I drank a lot just to survive, basically. I sometimes say that alcohol was like my savior, which sounds horrible, but it was like the only thing I could turn to during that time because I was also so isolated. Yeah, I think a lot of people felt like that during COVID. Yeah. Well, yes, because of COVID and also because he kind of drew me away from all my friends and family and made them sound like the enemies. So alcohol was my best friend. And after our breakup, it got even worse because there was some stalking and harassment. And I would say that's when it went into the real deal problem.

SPEAKER_02 15:15

Yeah. Roll me into the real deal problem. How does this progress?

SPEAKER_03 15:19

It was, I get nervous sharing the nitty-gritty details because I'm still a little scared in a way. Yep. Um, but hundreds of phone calls a day and like calling my call box and leaving things on my car and all this type of stuff. That was going on on the daily. And I literally didn't know how I was gonna get through each day without starting my day with alcohol. Because it it just got so dark.

SPEAKER_02 15:45

And it's like overwhelming, and you feel by yourself, and like this is the only thing that's gonna shut off all of like the the danger, the noise, everything that's going on.

SPEAKER_03 15:54

Yeah. And I'd look at my phone in the morning and just be like, what's it gonna be today? It it started getting way worse. And I'm I'm not gonna go into the super nitty-gritty details there. But yeah, alcohol was the thing I turned to to get through all that. Um, yeah. So that was that.

SPEAKER_02 16:13

So you would you've mentioned we were chatting before, you also have ADHD.

SPEAKER_03 16:17

Yeah, I didn't really recognize any ADHD type symptoms throughout all that time because I think through that relationship, like that was the focus. I wasn't worried about like my, I mean, those are such small issues compared to what I was dealing with right here in front of me. So I wasn't looking at my own mental health or whatever. And I would like to just preface by saying that I am not diagnosed with ADHD. I've just found so much comfort in learning about it and working on behavioral tactics that have like literally changed my life. Um, where I'm like, I don't really need it, kind of goes with the whole not calling myself an alcoholic thing. Like I almost don't even need a diagnosis to recognize that this is just how I am and these types of things that I'm learning really, really help me. Yeah. During that time, no, I didn't. And even when I was younger, I mean, if you ask my family, maybe they would say, okay, yeah, you know, I'd say we noticed a couple of things. Yeah, there are some signs. Um, but it was much later, like right before I actually decided that I was gonna get sober, is when I kind of realized, wait a minute, because I should say, like after that bad relationship and everything, and I'm healing and getting better, I also had an injury. So I drank to get through that. Once all these things kind of dissipated, I was like, now I'm just drinking and I don't even have an issue that I'm drinking for. And that's when I almost realized like alcohol is now my medicine for these ADHD symptoms and my mind going at a hundred miles an hour and um being completely unable to focus, unable to stay tidy, unable to think because of all the noise in my head, and alcohol just shut that down for me.

SPEAKER_02 18:00

Does your family kind of pick up on anything? Or are you still pretty isolated from them post-breakup?

SPEAKER_03 18:07

Post-breakup, I got, well, I jumped into another relationship, as one does. Um, but my family, they are like my biggest supporters and they they just wanted me to be happy and out of that situation. So they had my back after the breakup, of course. Um, but as far as the alcohol issues, I know every person who has a drinking problem says that they can hide their drinking really well. Um, but I I would say I hit it very well to the point where when I told people I was getting sober, they were like, wait, why? Like, why would you need to get sober? They just did not see that I was hiding beers in my purse and like pregaming the grocery store and bringing beers with me into my doctor's appointment to chug in the bathroom. And they're like, they're not seeing these things that I'm doing because I do it so privately. So saying that I struggled with alcohol, saying that I'm getting sober, I think definitely came as a surprise to them. I keep saying, then it got worse, then it got worse, then it got worse. I mean, this is what happens. But yeah, it's like after the real that bad relationship, when I was starting to feel better, is when I tore my ACL. And it was like, they're just kicking you when you're down. You know what I mean? Because horrible test. I had just gotten through this situation and I got I successfully got a restraining order and it was just like quiet. I changed my phone number, I moved apartments, it was a whole thing. And I'm like, oh my God, I'm free. Yeah. And then I tore my ACL volleyball. Okay. Yeah. And still after it. Yeah, still after it. Um, that made my drinking even worse because I was like, I'm just sitting around, I'm doing nothing, I'm feeling depressed. I drank a lot during that time. And that's where the like hiding and sneaking around uh developed. I had this new boyfriend who was actually wonderful and I think like a big contributor to my healing process. Yeah. Um, but I would just do these things like I wouldn't let him ever take out the trash, even though he offered, oh, let me take this out for you. And I was like, no, do not touch the trash. I got it. Don't worry, it smells or whatever. Because really, it was like so many bottles and cans clinking around in there. And he's like, he'd be thinking, I was just over last night. How was there a full party? Yeah, did you have a party? What who'd you have over here? It's like, nope, just me drinking 15 beers by myself last night, you know. So yeah, I wouldn't let him take out the trash. I would like frantically clean my apartment before he came over. I had cans under the seat of my car and stuff because I was drinking chugging them before I went in places. And that's when it became like really, really problematic. And just a lot of those signs that we see with the hiding, lying, um, very isolated drinking. Because he has such a normal relationship with alcohol, which is wild to me how people can have that. Um, but he really does have a good relationship to alcohol. And I definitely did not.

SPEAKER_02 20:59

Can he tell that you have a bit of a drinking problem at this point?

SPEAKER_03 21:04

Yeah, I got very good at I guess, I guess you'd call it pregaming or like just advancing my drinking because all these normal people are gonna have three drinks in the night. Um, that would that would do absolutely nothing for me. I'd be I actually had this like fear of losing my buzz or not being at the right buzz. And it always had to be perfect. I was like freaked out if it was too low or something. And so I would do things like pregame before I even went to his house to pre-game together before we go to the bar. And I would sometimes bring something in my bag to have in the bathroom. When he goes to the bathroom, I'd sneak a shot at the bar or something like that. And did he notice? I thought no. Uh, he was probably the only one who did notice my drinking problem. And he never brought it up to me, which I'm really grateful for because I think if he did bring it up to me, I would have gone the other direction. I would have said, screw you. You know, I would have chosen alcohol over him, basically.

SPEAKER_02 22:05

Yeah, learn new ways to hide it with someone else. Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 22:08

And I didn't believe that I had a problem, and I well, I guess I did, but I never wanted anyone else to. No.

SPEAKER_00 22:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:14

And so after I decided to get sober though, he or I asked him, Hey, did you ever like pick up on anything? And he was like, honestly, yes. There were some times where you're coming over to my house at 11 a.m. and you already smell like beer. I'm like, okay, she started early. Um, that's what he said to me. And that was like really hard to hear. Yeah. But also it was cool because I was like, okay, you were really just like waiting for me to get there myself and discover it myself instead of forcing me into something. He just loved me for who I was. And that was a part of me at that time. But it was interesting to know and kind of embarrassing that he noticed some of that stuff. And he noticed that he's not allowed to come in my apartment until I've cleaned up and he'd be waiting outside the gate and stuff until I came down.

SPEAKER_02 23:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:03

So he picked up on some things. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 23:06

You said that the ACL injury left you feeling pretty depressed and isolated. What was the tur like was your turning point to get sober during that moment or within that kind of state?

SPEAKER_03 23:19

No. The injury is where the drinking problem just, I mean, that's when it was at its absolute height. And kind of similar to the relationship, the bad relationship that I got out of with the ACL injury, as I started to heal, I'm I'm still drinking in those same ways, even though now I am able to be active and I am moving around and stuff, but I'm still drinking like I'm depressed and injured. Yeah. I kind of had this, well, actually, there was a physical thing that happened that kind of made me realize I needed to get sober. I started having this pain in my upper right abdomen. And I looked up online pain in your upper right abdomen. And if you look that up, there's pretty much nothing good that comes of that. It's all alcohol-related liver disease, liver cirrhosis, fatty liver. And sometimes people say to me, Oh, your liver doesn't have any pain receptors. But when your liver is inflamed and screaming for help, basically, it pushes up against other organs in your body. And that's where we get that dull pain. And so that kind of scared me straight.

SPEAKER_02 24:28

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SPEAKER_03 24:53

It all happened at the same time. It was the pain in my abdomen, and it was seeing a few videos about ADHD where I was like, I think I'm now drinking to cover up these ADHD symptoms. So it was those two things, and it still took me a little while to get sober, but that freaked me out because I was like, this is not my destiny. You know, like I want to find my person. Um I didn't work out with this good guy, but anyway, I wanted to find my person. I wanted to be a parent. I wanted to meet my grandchildren one day. And I just said, This is not my destiny. Like drinking myself to death in my mid-30s or 40s is not my destiny. This is not what I'm here for. So that pain freaked me out. That's what contributed to me getting sober. A lot of people talk about rock bottoms, and um I kind of look at that as my rock bottom, even though it wasn't what is classically described as a rock bottom, like cheating on somebody, crashing your car, like these horrible things. And if I could put a message out there into the world, it is that you don't have to reach a rock bottom to get sober. Yeah. Because I think I was kind of waiting for that moment. And that's why I'm so glad it wasn't jail, death, killing somebody else. Yeah, you don't have to wait for those things to happen. Like I'm so glad I didn't wait for something catastrophic and I just took that as my sign and ran with it. But you don't even need a sign. If you feel it in your soul that it's time to get sober, it's time to get sober. And and that should be all the signs you need right there.

SPEAKER_02 26:27

So, what steps did you then have to take? Because you'd spent so long using alcohol as like your main coping mechanism, even through different like seasons of your life when you've healed through huge things, that was still what helped like carry you through it.

SPEAKER_03 26:42

Yeah, it was it was hard and it was weird because uh unfortunately alcohol is one of those things that if you just cut it uh cold turkey, it can be dangerous. And so that's why I always say, even though I didn't go to rehab, I always recommend that to people because it's like the only safe way to do it. And I I wouldn't recommend what I did necessarily, um, but it did work for me. And that was one day randomly on a random Thursday, June 20th, with absolutely no significance whatsoever. I just woke up and I I felt it in my soul. Today is the day. The thing that um I said to myself was someday has to be one day, and why not make that day today?

SPEAKER_02 27:26

I heard you say that on a TikTok reel, and I was like, that's incredible. Like that is it. That is it. Like one day can be today. Like that can be today, and it has to be someday. So make it today.

SPEAKER_03 27:36

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:37

I loved that.

SPEAKER_03 27:38

I just I just thought it works for fitness or nutrition or anything else. It's like you have these goals for yourself, and it's like day one does have to come. So I woke up that day and for some reason I just I just felt it. I was like, I'm I'm done drinking forever. And um, I just stopped. And like I said, that can be dangerous. And I recognize that. And I I should actually tell the story of how I tried to wean myself off because um I'm sure for first of all, every person who struggled with drinking has tried moderating first. Nobody wants to let go of alcohol.

SPEAKER_02 28:11

But then you just think about it like I'm only gonna do it on Saturday. Okay, well, then Saturday's the only day you give a shit about, and like every other day is just white knuckling it until you get to Saturday.

SPEAKER_03 28:21

So and you're obsessing over it, yeah. Thinking about that. And I tried everything, only drinking on the weekends, only drinking past 5 p.m. I even tried only drinking hard alcohol because I didn't like it. I preferred beer, wine, and seltzer, so I thought that was like my punishment. So I tried everything, tried to moderate. That didn't work. It was agonizing. I actually think moderating is way harder than quitting.

SPEAKER_02 28:41

If anyone's considering it, quitting is prodosing yourself with the thing you love that's like poison to your body. No, just yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:48

It's actually easier to cut it off and have no relationship with alcohol than to try to have a healthy one when you're just not somebody who does. Yeah. Anyway, so I tried all the moderating tactics, didn't work. Then I heard that quitting alcohol is dangerous and it freaked me out. And so I put myself on this schedule basically, where, you know, let's say I have 12 coors, I love coors lights. So let's say I drink 12 coors lights in a day. Then I would say, okay, tomorrow I'm only having 11. The next day I'm only having 10. And I was hoping that it would wean me off. I I did it every, I calculated it so that like every few hours I would have one. I called it my medication. And kind of a really sad moment for me, honestly, was when I was like crying because I didn't want to have the beer, but I told myself that I almost need to because it's dangerous. And I like felt it in my body that it's dangerous and I like just have to get it down to be safe. It was like very backwards because I'm wanting to do something good for myself, but I'm scared. And anyway, so I try to wean myself off, which eventually just leads me back into full-blown drinking. Didn't work. So for me, I thought the only way to do it is to just stop 100%. And I told myself, if I start feeling any type of way, I'm gonna go into the hospital. I had that ready to go as my option. Um, but I felt okay. And I haven't had a drop of alcohol since that day. That's incredible. So it worked for me. I'm not gonna recommend cold turkey, but that's what I did and it worked.

SPEAKER_02 30:21

Yeah, yeah. It's incredible that you were able to do that on your own. You don't have to do it on your own, but that is, I mean, it's not an uncommon story a lot of times.

SPEAKER_03 30:29

I think I I got to my drinking problem alone, very isolated and all that, and nobody really knew I was hiding all that. And so it's almost like I just wanted to do sobriety alone too, which is not healthy. And now I have my podcast, The Sober Scoop, and we also have uh an online support group called the Scoop Troop. And I I have all these community resources for people because you shouldn't have to do it alone. And once you do find community, it's so much better, obviously.

SPEAKER_02 30:57

How did you go from alcohol being something you did like in secret? It was like your thing to then sharing your recovery out loud.

SPEAKER_03 31:07

So, like I said, I didn't do AA or rehab. And so for me, my podcast has been an outlet for me. It is like my own therapy session, and people happen to enjoy listening, which is cool. Yeah. Um but I've told my my family and close friends like, don't listen because I I do talk about everything on my podcast, and I I get really filter-free. And there are just things that I don't even want my family to know that I have done. And it's it is private, um, but it's public to my sober community.

SPEAKER_02 31:41

I feel you on that.

SPEAKER_03 31:42

And I feel like I can just say anything I want on my little sober community podcast because they get it. It's cool to talk to people who have been through what you have been through. And I I wouldn't say that I was like the classic quote unquote alcoholic that everybody talks about blacking out and doing all these crazy things. I was a very, I was like a two-beer buzz all day long type of drinker, like just to feel what I considered normal. And so when I talk about how I drank, it's very cool that other people connect with it because at least I I thought, what what what am I? Because I read all these books and I listen to all these podcasts and nobody drinks how I did. So what the heck? Like, do I have a problem? Do I not? Do I need to get sober? I'm not drinking like these other people.

SPEAKER_02 32:30

I think that's the other side of the story that like a part of it that doesn't get talked about. There's like that clear lane where it's like, oh, I wound up in jail. Like I was, I lost everything. I was clearly like just everything was bad. I was the guy under the bridge with the bag full of alcohol, like that. It was like there's this picture that we have that's like clear alcoholism. But then there's this huge part also, it's just people with a bad relationship to alcohol. And who uh not a lot of people are just like, hey, guess what? Also on the regular, like I'm not great with alcohol. I don't plan on changing it because around me it's very normal. Yeah, it's like I think that's why people stay in it because everyone else is doing it. I'm not gonna like assess how it's affecting my life because it's not necessarily ruining it. Would it be great if I stopped? Yeah, a lot of things would probably be a lot better, but it's not enough for people to be like, yeah, this is my rock bottom. Right. You don't have to hit some rock bottom, like bad things don't have to happen for you to acknowledge that like removing this from your life will bring great things.

SPEAKER_03 33:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:34

Totally. And you're never too young. You're never like uh not bad enough, if you know what I mean. Like anyone can get sober, uh, whether that's for a health journey or a mental health journey or um being a better parent or literally anything, you can get sober. It doesn't have to look like all these uh definitions, I guess, that we see in society of someone with a drinking problem.

SPEAKER_02 34:02

So you shared that your first four months of sobriety, you focused solely on just staying sober. So can you tell me like what that looked like for you and like the relationships you were in? Just like what was life like at that point?

SPEAKER_03 34:16

Yeah, that was the golden rule for me was don't drink alcohol. Yeah. I wasn't also like trying to be fit and eat healthy. And I've I've gone on this whole journey that I I share on my personal Instagram page, India Gance. I share about my 50-pound weight loss and how like nutrition and fitness are up, they're my passions now and they're what I love to talk about, but it very slowly happened. And in the beginning, it was just only sobriety. That was that was the only thing I focused on. I didn't try to do anything else. That was my number one priority. And something that I advise people is to just take on the identity of a non-drinker because it feels very foreign in the beginning. You're like, this is not me. You're getting invited to things that you used to get invited to. Um, it all feels very weird. But if you take on this identity of I am now a non-drinker, and then start to navigate your life as such, you grow quickly. And that's just what I did. I just, I just became a non-drinker, and that's all I cared about for about four months.

SPEAKER_02 35:24

Also, when you remove that, it does give you a chance to like clear your head and kind of acknowledge your own body. I loved when you were talking about that. I've seen it a few times on Reels, just like checking in with your body. And like when you get sober, it's like now I'm like acknowledging how my body feels because previously it's like, am I hungover? Am I like just having a moment? Yeah. Um, am I hungry? Do I want to drink alcohol? Like, talk more about that. I love hearing about just like getting to know your body more.

SPEAKER_03 35:52

Yeah. Well, this is about my favorite topic to talk about in the world. Um, I feel so in tune with my body now that alcohol is removed. And it is, it is such a blessing in life to know what's going on in your body and know when you might be getting a little sick or are you sore or is it an injury? Um, do you need to implement uh medication or supplements or something into your life? But when you're drinking, alcohol just clouds everything and you have no idea what's going on in your body. I mean, I used I used to hardly eat because for my hunger response or the hunger sign, hunger cue in my body, my mind went to alcohol. And so I didn't even know like the signs for when I should eat food. Yeah. Or the signs for when I was angry or happy or um emotional about something. It was like I was a toddler from square one, learning all these emotions again because alcohol was just a blanket for every different physical and mental experience.

SPEAKER_02 36:54

Yeah. Have you explored like new hobbies that you enjoy? I guess you've also been like sharing your health and wellness too. That's become a hobby.

SPEAKER_03 37:02

Yeah, it has. But um, I'm also kind of on a solo travel journey at the moment. I love that. Um, because I'm single and I'm so grateful to be single. I'll welcome my person whenever they choose to waltz into my life. But I'm single right now. I'm sober, I'm like living my best life. Yes, you are. And so I'm traveling a lot by myself. I love to travel by myself and I don't know when I'll be married and with kids and whatever. So I'm travel as much as you can right now.

SPEAKER_02 37:29

Yeah. Really? From someone with two kids, do everything right now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Travel.

SPEAKER_03 37:34

Their blessings can't wait, but like, yes, for now. When they're here, they're here to stay. Yes. I'm I'm like, that's an extra ticket. So yeah. They're expensive. Exactly. I can hardly afford it for myself. So gas prices. Yeah. I'm doing solo travel. I golf a lot. I play volleyball. And you know, golf is a crazy thing sober too, because drinking and golf just go together. And I actually used to use golf as my excuse to drink because you book a 7 a.m. tea time, and that means you're allowed to start drinking because you're golfing.

SPEAKER_02 38:02

I picked jobs that would allow me to like drink and work at the same time, like shotgirl or like promo or working at the golf course and you can just hand out shots to people.

SPEAKER_03 38:12

Well, yes. I I didn't work at the golf course, but I golfed.

SPEAKER_02 38:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 38:16

And I did the same thing too, worked at bars and places that allowed you to drink with the customers and all that.

SPEAKER_02 38:21

Yeah. I never drank when I was a bartender.

SPEAKER_03 38:23

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 38:23

And that's on good worker stuff. That's incredible. The other places you literally encouraged it. Yeah. So you spent years in an industry where your appearance dictated like livelihood. Um, and early in sobriety, you ended up losing 50 pounds simply by dropping alcohol. That I love that. It's like the weight part wasn't the focus. It was literally just making sure sobriety happened and then all of this other stuff, like lovely, fell into place. Um, so you're focusing on dropping alcohol and focusing on health rather than losing weight. How do you navigate the pressure of modeling agencies scrutinizing you while you were like still healing in this process of sobriety?

SPEAKER_03 39:01

Well, I would like to shout out my current agency, the one that I've been with since I since I was 16 and have been this whole time, um, because they kept me on their roster the whole time. You were open and honest with them? Um no. No. Uh, but you know, they sent me castings and uh virtual auditions and things like that. So they saw what my body was looking like. Yes. Okay, yeah, yeah. At times it wasn't looking cute. And I'm not just talking about being bigger, okay? I'm talking about inflammation, yes, puffy face. You can my stomach is like this weird green color, it just cellulite everywhere. I didn't look healthy. And for some reason, they kept me on their roster the whole time. Because you're so sweet. But I got dropped from every other agency. I've been dropped from every other agency I've ever been with. Uh, a lot to do with my size, but especially when I was struggling with my drinking, that's when I lost my agency in Los Angeles. And I mean, no kidding, I didn't I didn't look like a model at that time. Um, but then, you know, I got sober. And like you said, my goal was health, longevity, fixing this problem that I had. And it happened to result in like the best physique I have had throughout all of my years of modeling, which is crazy because I used to do crazy things to keep my figure when I was like 18 years old. Yeah. Just like really bad things. I've and I've seen a lot of things from other models. It's a crazy world. But now being sober and being healthy, not doing all those crazy things, just living a healthy healthy life, fueling my body, moving my body, now I have that physique that I was always after. Yes. Which is just crazy.

SPEAKER_02 40:39

Yeah. Okay. Now I'm interested to hear more about this because as someone who also struggled with just appearance, critiques, all that stuff. Did that ever affect your mental health? And like, how did you end up dealing with that? Because I feel like that would have me spiraling on such like a grand stage.

SPEAKER_03 40:56

Yeah, I definitely struggled with that for sure. And looking back, I see it as super unhealthy. But in the moment, that's just like what people did. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 41:07

I mean, you're surrounded by people who are all doing the same thing. So it's just like, well, what did they tell you you have to fix? Oh, yeah. That's what I have to fix. Okay, how do we fix this? Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 41:16

I mean, I could tell you some crazy things. I had one modeling agency um tell me that I was only allowed to eat, is it papaya? I think it's papaya because it's the lowest sugar fruit and it like was not allowed to eat pineapple. Um, do not eat pineapple. They told me all this time, don't lift weights, it'll make you bulky, um, which weightlifting has completely transformed the shape of my body. It is incredible and so good for you, also. They gave me like whitening cream when I was working in Asia because they you weren't allowed to get a tank. Beauty standards, yeah. Yeah. Just all sorts of things. I was a plus size model basically in Asia, which is crazy because I was so small back then. Um, and I could only do bridal because uh those were the curvy girls. Meanwhile, I'm like a size A cup and I'm like curvy, you know? Wow. Um, all sorts of things. I've had my my thighs measured, arms measured, wild stuff. Mostly in other countries, yeah. Um, but a little bit in like New York as well. We're pretty strict there.

SPEAKER_00 42:18

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 42:18

Yeah. Oh, and I should say, yes. I also as we're talking about alcohol.

SPEAKER_02 42:23

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 42:23

When I was modeling abroad, my friend and I went on the alcohol diet, which is where we didn't eat and we just drank. Yeah. Like to get skinny.

SPEAKER_02 42:31

You didn't pick up cigarettes, did you? I didn't. Okay, good for you.

SPEAKER_03 42:34

Yeah. Shockingly. Yeah. Because everybody smoked. I even got a water vape. Well, do you know what those are? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 42:40

There's not it's not doing anything, but it's just comfortable to go like because everyone would go for their smoke break, and I'm the only one sitting at this table.

SPEAKER_03 42:46

Yeah. You're yeah, I went out with them with my water vape. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 42:50

How was like that um LA atmosphere during your sobriety? Were you living in Los Angeles? I was. Okay, how did you define that? Did you find like a sober community for yourself? No, I did not.

SPEAKER_03 43:01

Oh, but they have a lot of like yes, I'm sure they do. I I was that was such a whirlwind. I got sober. I moved in with my boyfriend. One month later, I broke up with my boyfriend, broke that lease that we just signed, sold everything I owned, packed up my little sedan, and drove to Seattle. So I didn't have much time being sober in LA. It was only about two or three months. And I had all of these revelations. I was like, this isn't the relationship for me. I actually hate Los Angeles. It's such a toxic place for me. You're like waking up. You're like, wait a minute. I I was like, that's another thing. Like with knowing your body when you're sober, you also recognize in your life the things that are not serving you. You start to care. Yeah. Like about what you do and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. You can't just drink away. Sorry, he was a great guy, but you can't just drink away your mediocre relationship. Yeah. You can't drink away being so lonely because you have no family or community. You can't drink away hating the toxicity of Los Angeles. When you're sober, you're just like, oh wait, I kind of hate it here. And I within a couple months, I just changed literally everything about my life and completely restarted um smash in Seattle. So I'm sure LA has a cool community, but I really don't like LA. Yeah. To me, LA is associated with my drinking problem, that first really bad relationship that I had, the modeling industry, the like promoter scene and stuff. I have such a bad taste in my mouth from LA. So no, it wasn't like a positive place for me to be. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:34

So through your platforms and online community, has there been a moment during sharing your story that you've really felt like you've been impactful towards other people?

SPEAKER_03 44:46

Yeah. I would say there is a moment almost every day. And it's what keeps me going on this whole thing because sometimes I feel like I'm talking to the void on my podcast or on my TikTok page. Um, but the DMs that I receive from people are like, I could cry. I might cry. It's just like people say that um they were gonna like harm themselves and seeing my videos made them stop. They have said that um a family member was really struggling and I helped them, or um, I had no hope for myself. I was a horrible parent. I did this, that, and the other thing, and seeing your videos made me finally stop. Oh gosh, I don't know why that gets me so it's overwhelming.

SPEAKER_02 45:38

I feel the same way when I get those DMs and to hear that other people were in that low spot, but then to know that you gave them hope or something that you did that also you know you were in a really low spot for it gave them hope. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 45:53

It's just it's hard for me to talk about because like I can't even translate the the these types of messages that I receive. They're just like it's crazy. So to know that I have that sort of impact on people, and it's wild because it this is so separate from like the India Gance who is on America's Next Top Model. Like now I'm starting to talk about it a little bit more on my main page, but it really has been like the sober scoop, this this separate entity that has brought so many people hope. And like my my random little side project, kind of selfishly to to have my therapy session on a microphone, um, has turned into just this incredibly impactful platform for people and hearing how it's changed people's lives, it's what keeps me going every day. It's like what I live for. That's so special. Enough crying. It's a really special thing.

SPEAKER_02 46:44

Yeah. So if you had any piece of advice to India post-breakup and COVID struggling, what would that be?

SPEAKER_03 46:55

I would probably say, and this is to anybody who's struggling as well, is that there's always a way out, even though it doesn't feel like it. I remember one day I was driving down Sunset Boulevard in LA and I saw these people sitting, like cheersing with their friends, having brunch and like laughing. And it did not compute in my mind how people could experience happiness because I was just like so low, so removed from anything happy whatsoever. And then, you know, one thing leads to another, you keep chipping away, and you can completely turn your life around, even though it doesn't feel like it. So I guess just like don't give up hope. And when it feels impossible, like there is a possibility for your life to turn around, even though it might not feel like it.

SPEAKER_02 47:37

You do provide a lot of hope. You're such a light in this world.

SPEAKER_03 47:41

Oh, thank you. I mean, you too. This whole show that you guys do. I mean, it's yeah, greatly impactful to people as well, I'm sure.

SPEAKER_02 47:47

Um, India, thank you so much for sharing your story. I have loved getting to chat with you about this. Also, any type of America's next top model, adjacent, anything. Oh, yes.

SPEAKER_03 47:58

I was obsessed growing up too. So I hear you.

SPEAKER_02 48:01

It's everything. So again, thank you so much for coming and sharing your story. And I know so many people are impacted by it and get so much hope and joy from hearing from you. Um, and where can people continue to follow you? Shout out your podcast. Where, what are your socials? Where can people follow you?

SPEAKER_03 48:17

You can listen to my podcast, The Sober Scoop. There's also a TikTok page called The Sober Scoop. Um, and then my personal platform is just India Gance everywhere.

SPEAKER_02 48:26

You're gonna love it. And thank you guys for joining and listening to this episode. We will catch you next time.