Finding Freedom: Myrlene’s Journey Through Recovery and Faith

 In this heartfelt episode, we sit down with Myrlene to hear her powerful story of recovery from alcohol addiction. With honesty and hope, she opens up about her struggles, the love and support that helped her heal, and the profound spiritual transformation she experienced through Jesus Christ. We also explore principles from the 12-step recovery approach and how they can support anyone seeking lasting change through Christ-centered support. Whether you’re on your own path of recovery or supporting someone who is, Myrlene’s testimony will uplift and inspire you. 

Show notes and references:

https://www.buzzsprout.com/2465200

(click under transcript)

Transcript

Fair Use & Disclaimer
This podcast episode may contain brief quotes from external sources, used in a positive and respectful manner for discussion, education, and commentary. These references fall under fair use as they are not used for commercial gain, do not replace the original works, and are presented with proper context and attribution.

The views and opinions expressed in this episode are our own and those of our guests. They do not necessarily reflect the official doctrine, beliefs, or positions of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Show notes and shoutouts: (clickable link)

Healing through the Savior: 12 Steps

References: (clickable link)

Addictionrecovery.churchofjesuschrist.org                           

Moroni 9:25 "may Christ lift thee up"

                                                      Transcript

Clare Craner:
Welcome to Sisters with Latter-day Voices. Today, we’re so excited to introduce our guest, Myrlene. She is 83 years old and was born and raised in rural Oklahoma by Protestant parents who were both school teachers. She has one sister, four years older. She later moved to Las Vegas, where she worked as a school teacher, and eventually relocated to Utah with her family. Myrlene has worked in real estate for 43 years, ran her own company for 11 of those, and still holds an active real estate license—so impressive!

Candice Buchanan:
Yeah, it really is.

Clare Craner:
As a child, Myrlene had rheumatic fever and spent three years in and out of hospitals. It was during that time that her faith and love for her Heavenly Father deepened. Today, we’ll be talking with her about how alcohol slowly became a part of her life, leading to addiction—and how she overcame it. But first, Myrlene, welcome. We're so thankful you're here with us today. Sharing your story takes a lot of courage, and we truly appreciate you.

Myrlene:
Thank you. I'm always grateful for the opportunity to share my experiences in hopes that something I’ve been through can help someone else.

Clare Craner:
That’s such a perfect perspective. So, what does a typical day in your life look like right now?

Myrlene:
Oh, I hope what I'm experiencing now isn’t "typical" for the rest of my life! This past year, I’ve had three major surgeries, and I’m slowly recovering. I’ve gone from a wheelchair to a walker, and I’m ready to toss the walker to the curb—I just want to walk on my own again.

But overall, my health is good. I have wonderful friends and neighbors I love socializing with. And I have a dog who I hope will be my eternal companion—along with a few of her predecessors. Right now, life is uncomplicated and pleasant.

Candice Buchanan:
And I have to add—Myrlene is my neighbor, and she is such a bright light in our community. She lives on the corner and sits outside with her little dog, Lulu, running around. She talks to everyone. Literally everyone in the neighborhood knows and loves Myrlene. Even the grumpiest curmudgeons—she wins them over.

Clare Craner:
I agree. I’ve met you a few times, Myrlene, and I already feel like I could just knock on your door and be your best friend.

Myrlene:
Come on over! That’s something I learned from my upbringing. My father was a commanding, intelligent German man, and he taught me that the most important thing in life isn’t necessarily what we achieve—it’s our relationships.

If we met someone we didn’t like, he’d say that just meant we didn’t know them well enough. Everyone has goodness within them—we just have to uncover it. And I’ve found that to be so true. I can find something to love about everyone I’ve ever met.

Candice Buchanan:
That’s beautiful. And today, you're going to share your story—your relationship with alcohol, how it became an addiction, and how you overcame it. I’ve heard your story before and found it incredibly inspiring.

Let’s start at the beginning. Can you tell us when you first started drinking? You grew up in a strict Protestant home and then moved to Las Vegas when you were… eighteen? Nineteen?

Myrlene:
No, I was 21. I had just graduated from the university and got married the day after graduation.

Myrlene:
That marriage only lasted three months. He was my best friend growing up, but I just wasn’t ready for marriage. We’re still good friends—he lives in Oklahoma now, and I’m in Utah. He’s happily married, and I was happily divorced.

Clare Craner (light laugh):
Fair enough.

Myrlene:
I had my first drink shortly after that divorce. My parents were strict Baptists. No one in my immediate family had ever divorced. And to be clear, I didn’t divorce because we didn’t get along. I divorced because I loved him and knew I couldn’t be the kind of wife he deserved—we were just good friends.

So while my parents were out of town in Oklahoma for Christmas, I stayed in Nevada and got the divorce—it only takes three days there. My husband opposed it, but I felt it was the right thing.

At the time, I was teaching school—health classes—and coaching tennis, volleyball, and basketball, my favorite things in the world. All the other coaches were single and would go to “happy hour” after work. I asked what that was, and they said, “Come on, we’ll show you.”

So I went—and I got “very happy.” At first, it was social. I'd have one or two drinks. Then I learned that three or four made me feel even “happier.” I was adjusting to single life and dealing with feelings of inadequacy after my divorce, and I think I tried to drown those feelings.

Candice Buchanan:
When did you meet your second husband?

Myrlene:
At the time, I was dating a well-known Las Vegas entertainer—I won’t say his name—but he was an avid golfer and wanted me to learn to play. Even though I was a P.E. teacher, I’d never played golf.

He arranged for a golf lesson. I didn’t like the instructor at all and walked out after ten minutes. I told my boyfriend, “If all golf pros are like that, I’m not learning.”

He said, “I know a nice guy from Utah. You’ll like him.”
 So the next week, after one of his shows, we went to dinner. I noticed a young man who looked a little out of place and asked, “Who’s that guy?”
 “That’s your new golf instructor,” they said.
 That’s how I met the man who became my second husband.

Candice Buchanan:
At what point in that marriage did your drinking increase?

Myrlene:
It was shortly after we got married. We were having dinner with close friends—one of whom was a doctor. Before dinner, I went into the kitchen to take one of my pills. Because of my rheumatic fever as a child, I had high stress levels and had been prescribed what I called my “nerve pills” and a sleeping pill for the evenings.

The doctor saw me with the pills and said, “What are those?”
 I told him, and he took the bottle, dumped the pills in the sink, and said, “This is better for you.” Then he poured me a glass of wine.

I thought to myself, “Well, I have more pills at home.” But I drank the wine. And I liked it. I found that the more I drank, the less I relied on my pills—though I didn’t stop taking them entirely.

Candice Buchanan:
At what point did you realize you had a problem?

Myrlene (emotionally):
That’s a hard one. I remember it like it was yesterday.

My husband and I were having a lot of marital issues. Sometimes, he wouldn’t come home. I would drink to fall asleep. My boys were just three and four and a half at the time.

One night, I was watching a movie called The Days of Wine and Roses. It was about a couple who struggled with alcoholism. I sobbed through the whole movie. They’d get sober, relapse, fall apart—it was heartbreaking.

Afterward, I went to throw away my empty wine bottle and saw two pill bottles on the counter. I couldn’t remember if I’d already taken my sleeping pill. I thought, “I should check on the boys.”

The next thing I remember, I woke up in the hallway between their bedrooms.

That moment broke me.

I realized I was just like the couple in the movie. I wasn’t the person I wanted to be. My marriage was falling apart. My husband threatened to take the kids in the divorce. I even wondered if my children would be better off without me.

And then—I heard two voices.

One whispered in my left ear:
 “You’re a drunk. You’re no good. You don’t deserve your children. You don’t even deserve to live. Do everyone a favor—end it.”

I wept. That voice felt true. I was an alcoholic.

But then—I heard another voice in my right ear:
 “Why haven’t you come to Me? You used to always come to Me.”

I had always been a faithful Christian. I loved Heavenly Father and believed in Jesus Christ. But in all my struggles, I had fallen away. I thought, “I can’t come to You now.”

Then that first voice came back:
 “Ha! You can’t talk to Him. Look at you. You’re a drunk.”
 And the other voice said, “Just come to Me.” I didn’t know what to do. I asked, “What can I do?”
 Three years prior, I had joined the LDS Church. I was looking to bring faith and religion back into my life, but I couldn’t go back to my former Protestant church—I had too many unanswered questions.
 I had researched several religions and attended various churches, but none of them seemed to answer my questions.
 My father, who was quite a scriptorian, used to tell me there were some things we weren't meant to understand in this life. That we had to rely on faith. He’d say it didn’t matter where we came from or why we were here—what mattered was knowing that there’s a Heavenly Father who watches over us and cares for us. But I felt there had to be more. I wanted more.

So I joined the Church. But my husband, though a member, had fallen away and wouldn't even consider attending with me.
 I was baptized while pregnant with my second son, and my first was just a year and a half old.
 I tried going to church, but I wasn’t used to there not being a nursery. I had to try to keep my boys quiet during the service, and it just didn’t work.

During this time—though I was inactive—I had a home teacher. I never let him in, but I’d speak with him briefly at the door. He was a kind, compassionate man. A well-known attorney in town, though that didn’t mean much to me at the time. He gave me his card, and I stuck it behind the wall phone with a few others—just out of habit.

That morning, as I lay there on the floor, I pleaded, “Father, I want to do what You want me to do, but I don’t know what to do.”
 And He said, “Call your home teacher and go to church. Get your children ready and go to church.”
 And I thought, Oh my goodness, okay. Okay.

So I picked myself up out of the hallway—I know I reeked of alcohol—and I thought, I’ve got to do this. I choose to live, regardless of how this works out. I choose to live, and I’ve got to follow what Heavenly Father has asked me to do.

I went to the phone and called my home teacher. I said, “I need to know where the chapel is and what time church starts.”
 He told me it started at 10 o’clock. It was around 8 a.m. then.
 I said, “Well… don’t be surprised, but you might see me if you’re going to be there.”
 And he said, “I would be thrilled to see you there, Merlene.”

I hung up. Got my little boys out of bed and dressed them. We didn’t really have any church clothes. This was the era of miniskirts and boots.
 “These Boots Are Made for Walkin’” was one of my favorite songs!
So, I got dressed as conservatively as I could, but I felt so self-conscious and out of place walking into the chapel.

This was when Sunday School was the first meeting. I walked into the back row in the far corner.
 To this day, when I see someone sitting in the back row or off in a corner, I try to go speak to them after the meeting—because I know how it feels.
 To want to be there… but to want to disappear, too.

Then a woman came to the doorway and stared at me.
 I thought, Oh no, I don’t want anyone to talk to me. I’m here because I was commanded, not because I want to be.
But of course, she came over and introduced herself. Then she walked out, and I thought, Please don’t come back.

But as soon as Sunday School was over—there she was again.

Clare Craner
Mm-hmm.

Myrlene:
She came over and said, “Sister Heller, the bishop would like to talk to you.”
And I thought, Oh boy. He’s going to ask me to leave and not come back. I know what it’s like to smell alcohol on someone.
But I thought, Okay… I’m just doing what the Lord asked me to do. I’ll take whatever the consequences are.

So I gathered my courage and followed her to the bishop’s office.
 He introduced himself—he didn’t know me—and said, “Sister Heller, Sister Christensen is our new Relief Society president, and she and I have been discussing you during Sunday School. I’d like to know a little more about you.”

I said, “Well, I’m not sure you’re going to like what you hear, but I’ll tell you my circumstances.”
 And I told him about the night before—the voices I heard, the experience I had, and how the Lord admonished me to get up and bring my children to church.

And he said, “Sister Christensen has been fasting and praying for two days. She hasn’t been able to find anyone willing to accept the calling of homemaking leader for our ward.”

He asked, “Have you ever attended Relief Society?”
 “No.”
 “Do you know what homemaking leader involves?”
 I said, “I think that’s where the women get together and talk a lot. They sew, cook, do crafts?”
 He said, “That’s pretty much it. What talents do you have?”

I wanted to joke, My best talent is what I did all night—drinking wine—but I don’t think you want me to do that.
Instead, I said, “Well, I’m a schoolteacher. I’ve taken time off because I had my two children close together. I’m working in public relations now, but I don’t really have talents like sewing or crocheting.”

I told them again about my experience the night before. I said, “Bishop, I don’t know why I’m here. I don’t know what I can do. I’m just trying to do what Heavenly Father asked me to do.
 And if you trust me to do anything in this church, I won’t turn it down. Because right now, I don’t know what my future holds—only that I have faith in my Heavenly Father. And I trust that you’ll listen to the voice that spoke to you concerning me.”

And then I said, “I’ve discovered that I’m an alcoholic. I can’t promise I’ll never drink again. Right now, I want a drink so badly I can hardly handle it.
 But I will do everything in my power to stop. And I’ll do anything you and Heavenly Father ask me to do.”

That was the first day of the rest of my life.
 It took me three months to fully stop drinking—not even one glass of wine a day.

I’ll never forget the last time.
 I came home from work, opened the fridge, and poured myself a glass. Lifted it to my lips…
 And that voice said, “You don’t need that.”
 I tried to lift it again.
 “No, you don’t.”

And I thought, I’ll go crazy if I don’t have just this one.
Just one glass.
I thought my faith was so strong. I’d been so blessed during those three months. I wasn’t the same person anymore. I felt free.
But still—I just wanted that one.

And then… I poured the rest of the bottle down the sink.
 I poured out the glass.
 And that was the last time.

Heavenly Father blessed me tremendously.
 It wasn’t easy, but my faith was strong.
 And I had to do it—not just for myself, but for my children.

Candice Buchanan:
That’s such a courageous place to be. Hearing you tell the story again—I just think… it’s such a scary place.
To not know, like you said, what’s going to happen in your life.
To feel like you’re giving up your comfort, your coping mechanism…
And then to still take that step and say, “Okay, this is really scary and really hard, but I’m going to follow You.”
That’s really powerful.

Clare Craner:
As I was preparing for this, I came across a talk that really stood out to me. It was given by President Russell M. Nelson, but it was thirty-seven years ago and called Addiction or Freedom. He talks about agency—how we all have the ability to choose, but our choices come with consequences. He teaches that with addiction, you lose your will, your freedom. You no longer have full control.

There’s a quote I love from it:
 "Each one who resolves to climb that steep road to recovery must gird up for the fight of a lifetime, but a lifetime is a prize well worth the price."

Then he gives a spiritual prescription—six choices:

1.     Choose to be alive

2.     Choose to believe

3.     Choose to change

4.     Choose to be different

5.     Choose to exercise

6.     Choose to be free

You mentioned how you chose to be alive, and you're choosing this new freedom through faith and through our Savior.

Myrlene:
Yes, and I can’t say it didn’t take courage. Even though I was down to just one glass, it still mattered. What difference does one glass make? All the difference in the world. It came down to obedience—or disobedience.

When I tell that story, it still feels fresh because the feelings never fully go away. But so does the triumph—the glory of knowing I am free. Free to make my own choices. Alcohol no longer gets to choose for me.

Clare Craner:
Mm-hmm. I noticed that in your story—how you now look for the one in the corner. It seems like your bishop, your home teacher, and the Relief Society president all showed up for you. Were they your main support in recovery, or were there others?

Myrlene:
Oh, that Relief Society presidency—I remember their names like they’re my family. The president, she’s 98 now and still alive. I speak to her about once a year. Her counselor is 101, and I talk to her every few months.

Clare Craner:
That’s beautiful.

Myrlene:
She was married to a great-great-grandson of John Taylor. I won’t mention his name, but he lost his church membership. He was an alcoholic too. A functioning one, as they say—I used to say the same thing about myself: “I’m a functioning alcoholic. I know what I’m doing—most of the time.”

I bought wine by the case. Never just a bottle. That was my “food storage,” basically.

Clare Craner:
I have a Mountain Dew food storage!

Myrlene:
(Laughs) I’m sipping on a Dr. Pepper right now. But anyway, I called that dear sister—her name is Loana—and said, “I have two cases of wine in my closet. Would you be offended if I brought them to your husband?” She said, “I know he would be thrilled.” She didn’t say if she would be offended!

So I packed them up, drove them down, and he was very happy to have them.

She’s such a dear, loving person. I treasure that friendship. She's been a constant presence in my life. And you know, I have to laugh at myself now. Looking back, I think, “How stupid was I?” But that’s how Satan works. He convinces us we need the sin we’re indulging in. He whispers that it’s part of us, that it doesn’t matter.

But Heavenly Father—oh, how grateful I am that He never gave up on me. Even now, when I fall short, I still feel His love. My devotion to Him and the gospel—that is my life.

Clare Craner:
It’s beautiful that you still have those friendships from the beginning of your recovery. You’re so right—Satan tries to convince us we’re not worth saving. But Jesus is always there, always in our corner.

On the Church’s website, the addiction recovery guiding principles include: love first, teach truth, nourish faith, and minister. I see that in the way your bishop and Relief Society president supported you—with love. That’s so important.

Candice Buchanan:
Yes, absolutely.

Clare Craner:
Were there things that people did that you wish others would avoid doing?

Myrlene:
Well, I’m no expert. But I can speak from personal experience—and from watching my son. I have two sons. My oldest struggled with drug addiction—crystal meth. I didn’t even know about it for years. Right now, he’s celebrating 23 years of sobriety.

He was a clean-cut, successful business owner—didn’t look like a typical addict. But he lost everything. Then God reached out to him. God always will, but we have to listen. That’s what I had stopped doing—I stopped listening and tuned into the wrong voice. I call it the “left ear voice.”

My son works in addiction recovery now. He loses friends constantly. People who were sober for years but relapse just once—and it’s fatal. It's heartbreaking. I hope my story can give someone even a glimmer of hope. That “higher power” they talk about in recovery? I know that’s God. And He’ll walk with you through every step of sobriety.

Candice Buchanan:
I spoke with your son Bruce yesterday. He really is a fantastic son. I always see him checking on Merlene—he clearly loves his mom and takes such good care of her.

He shared his story with me and said I could share what stood out. He started using weed at 19, which is interesting because it's legal now, and people assume it’s harmless. But for him, it was the gateway. It eventually led to harder drugs.

He said what people don’t understand—especially friends and family—is how little control he felt he had. He wanted to change. He prayed that marriage or responsibility might help. He had a successful business and a wonderful wife, but it wasn’t enough. Addiction had that tight of a grip.

It wasn’t until he hit rock bottom at 36 that he was able to begin recovery. He said the key things he had to develop were: honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness. He had to be honest about what he was going through, open to God again, and willing to do the hard work.

He said Alcoholics Anonymous and the Addiction Recovery Program were absolutely inspired by God. The original AA founders, those first 100, created something powerful. It’s faith-based, even though it’s not affiliated with any religion.

Clare Craner:
Yes, the Church’s addiction recovery site—addictionrecovery.churchofjesuschrist.org—has so many resources. There's a map where you can find support groups near you—Zoom, phone call, or in person. Every week, our Relief Society sends out a local schedule for addiction recovery meetings.

There are groups for all types of challenges—pornography, general addiction, spouse and family support. Some are men-only, some women-only, or co-ed.

In bold on the site it says:
 Healing Through the Savior: The Addiction Recovery Program.

I looked at the Church’s version of the 12 Steps. They closely follow AA’s model but use specific gospel language. I’ll read them here:

1.     Admit we are powerless to overcome our addictions.

2.     Believe that the power of God can restore us.

3.     Decide to turn our will and life over to God.

4.     Make a written moral inventory of ourselves.

5.     Admit the exact nature of our wrongs to ourselves, God, and another person.

6.     Become entirely ready to have God remove our weaknesses.

7.     Humbly ask God to remove our shortcomings.

8.     Make a written list of those we’ve harmed and be willing to make restitution.

9.     Make direct restitution wherever possible.

10.Continue personal inventory and promptly admit wrongs.

11.Seek God’s will and power through prayer and meditation.

12.Share the message with others and live these principles daily.

Candice Buchanan:
That’s beautiful. One thing that stood out from talking with Bruce is the shame he felt while using. Shame makes recovery even harder. That’s one of Satan’s biggest lies—that you’re worthless. But God’s message is the opposite: You are loved. You are worthy.

That shame is why we lose so many addicts to suicide or overdose. It’s not just the substance—it’s the belief that they’ve let down themselves, their families, and God. But that’s never true.

Clare Craner:
The Church’s website says: "Seek to understand." We can pray to know how to help someone in addiction. Identify triggers—stress, boredom, exhaustion—and help them remember:
Jesus can help you conquer this.
You are a child of God.
You have divine worth.

And the first guiding principle is love.

Myrlene:
What recovery has taught me is this:
You are never out of God’s sight or His care.
It’s our own negative thoughts that make us feel unworthy. But God’s love is endless. We’re His children. Think of how much you love your own children—He loves us even more. His love is without limit. There’s nothing we can do to make Him stop loving us.

Clare Craner:
That’s beautiful. I’ll close with this scripture from Moroni 9:25:

"My son, be faithful in Christ; and may not the things which I have written grieve thee to weigh thee down unto death, but may Christ lift thee up, and may his sufferings and death, and the showing his body unto our fathers, and his mercy and long-suffering, and the hope of his glory and of eternal life, rest in your mind forever."

Candice Buchanan:
We hope this helps someone out there—whether you’re struggling yourself or you know someone who is. Know that God loves you.

Clare Craner:
Thank you for listening. We’ll see you next time.