Sealed for Eternity: Insights from Temple Sealer Chad Miller

In this week's episode, we welcome our dad, Chad Miller, who is an ordained temple sealer for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He shares profound insights and personal stories about the sacred blessings of temple marriage and eternal covenants.

Brother Miller reflects on the joy he observes in couples at the altar, the lasting power of agency in the next life, and the comforting truth that no righteous desire will be denied, even when life doesn’t unfold as expected. He also compassionately discusses sensitive topics such as plural marriage, offering reassurance grounded in God’s love and our eternal freedom to choose.

A touching story about a family member’s mission and a spiritual prompting from the other side reminds us that temple work connects us across the veil and that heaven is invested in our efforts.

We conclude with a quote from Elder Christofferson’s talk, "The Sealing Power," which underscores how temple covenants reflect God's justice, mercy, and love.

If you’ve ever had questions about temple sealings, eternal families, or how God’s plan relates to your unique life story, this conversation provides hope, clarity, and peace.

Fair Use & Disclaimer
This podcast episode may contain brief quotes from external sources, used in a positive and respectful manner for discussion, education, and commentary. These references fall under fair use as they are not used for commercial gain, do not replace the original works, and are presented with proper context and attribution.

The views and opinions expressed in this episode are our own and those of our guests. They do not necessarily reflect the official doctrine, beliefs, or positions of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Shownotes (clickable links)

Scriptures:

Malachi 4:5-6 (Find in all four of the standard works)

D&C 2:1-3

Joseph Smith translation, Genesis 14

King James Genesis 14

D&C 22  (baptism is a new and everlasting covenant)

D&C 131 (celestial marriage is essential)

D&C 66:2 fullness of gospel- baptism

D&C 45: 9

Talks:

President Russell M. Nelson, "The Everlasting Covenant"

Quote: Elder Christopherson, "The Sealing Power"

Transcript

Sisters: latter-day voices website

Transcript

Clare: Welcome to Sisters with Latter-day Voices. I'm Clare.
Candice: And I'm Candice. And we have our special guest—our dad!
Chad: I'm Chad.
Clare: Let me introduce our dad. I'll tell you a little bit about him. He was born in Rexburg, Idaho, and raised in Idaho Falls. He served a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in the Philippines Cebu City Mission. After returning home, he married Nikki Byers, and together they have four children—I'm the best—and sixteen grandchildren. Chad earned a Master of Accountancy degree from Brigham Young University and currently works as the Chief Financial Officer of the Peterson Auto Group in the Boise, Idaho area.
Throughout his life, Chad has faithfully served in many church callings, including Young Men's leader, stake Young Men’s president, bishop, and for over eighteen years in two stake presidencies. He now teaches early morning seminary and has been a sealer in the Boise, Idaho Temple for the past three and a half years.
Welcome, Dad.
Chad: It's always good to be with the two of you.
Candice: I always wonder if you're excited—or a little, like, trepidatious—about what we're going to ask you, because I feel like we're always the... the tough ones. Honestly, our older siblings were more of the angels.
Chad: You're all awesome in my eyes.
Clare: You have to say that.
Candice: We're making up for it now by having a church podcast, though. So here we go.
Dad, since you are a sealer in the temple, we thought you'd be a good person to talk to about the importance of being sealed—being married in the temple—and why it's important and the blessings associated with it.
To start off, we’re going to ask you some doctrinal questions and get your insights about temple marriage.
So starting off: How does temple marriage tie into the doctrine of eternal families?
Chad: Well, The Family: A Proclamation to the World says that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God. It talks about families being central to the whole purpose of the plan of salvation and the creation of the earth.
This might be a good time to go into some of the doctrine. One of my favorite scriptures about this is actually the last two verses of the Old Testament—Malachi chapter 4, verses 5 and 6:

“Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord.
 And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers,
 lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.”

Clare: So in English… what does that mean?
Chad: This is one of the very few scriptures that you can find in all four standard works. Elijah had to come because he was the one that had the keys for the sealing power. And he did come—to the Kirtland Temple, in section 110 of the Doctrine and Covenants.
It says he has to come before the great and dreadful day of the Lord, which is the Second Coming. Both Elder Christofferson and President Nelson have said that the whole purpose of the earth being created was so that eternal families could be formed.

It’s interesting—when Moroni came to the Prophet Joseph Smith in his early days, this was one of the scriptures he quoted. But he quoted it a little differently, and that version is recorded in section 2 of the Doctrine and Covenants. He said that Elijah would “plant in the hearts of the children the promises made to the fathers,” and that the hearts of the children would turn to their fathers.

If it were not so, the whole earth would be utterly wasted at Christ’s coming. That means the whole purpose of the earth would be a waste without the sealing power to form eternal families. That’s central to the plan.

It also says “the promises made to the fathers.” President Nelson and Elder Bruce R. McConkie have both said that “the fathers” include Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, because that’s where the covenant was established.

It's referred to throughout the scriptures and in the temple as the “new and everlasting covenant.” It’s “new” because in every dispensation, after apostasy, it’s restored anew. And it’s “everlasting” because it’s existed since before the earth was created.

This is just my opinion—not official Church doctrine—but if you go back to the Joseph Smith Translation of Genesis chapter 14, where it talks about Melchizedek, we learn a lot more.

We know very little about Melchizedek just from the Bible, but with Latter-day revelation, we know he was a great high priest. The Melchizedek Priesthood is named after him. Paul even refers to it in the New Testament.

In the JST, it adds about a page of additional detail. It talks about the city of Enoch, and how Melchizedek and his people sought the blessings of the city of Enoch, and were successful.

So Melchizedek was the presiding high priest on the earth when Abraham was alive. Abraham paid tithing to Melchizedek. Melchizedek administered the sacrament to Abraham—so he was kind of Abraham’s church leader.

But all our covenants come through Abraham because that’s the posterity. In my opinion, Melchizedek and his people were taken up like Enoch’s people, so there was no posterity left. Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob were left to continue the covenant and posterity throughout time.
 Candice: That’s interesting.
Clare: When we talk about doctrine, and we keep using the words “eternal family”—what makes it eternal?
Chad: The sealing power. There’s a great talk by Elder Christofferson from a couple of years ago called The Sealing Power, and he points out that when Elijah came and restored this power, the prophet holds the keys.

Only one person at a time, per the scriptures, holds the keys to this authority. So the President of the Church is always the one.

When my dad was made a sealer, it was Gordon B. Hinckley who did that. He was the Second Counselor in the First Presidency at the time. They explained that if the President and First Counselor weren’t sick, they would have done it instead—because it’s the President who holds the keys.

When I was made a sealer, it was by the temple president. I had a wonderful experience. I absolutely admire President Jenkins, who set me apart and gave me the sealing authority. But he pointed out that every sealer must be approved by the President of the Church. It’s not optional—because he alone holds the keys.
 Clare: That’s awesome.

And what about people who are less active, or maybe who are not sealed in the temple, or even not members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints?

When people get married, I know it says “till death do you part,” but many people—if they believe in an afterlife—think they’ll still be married to their partner forever. So… do you think everyone gets an opportunity?
 Chad: Yes, I believe everyone will have that opportunity. That’s why we’re building 300+ temples—so we can do that work for everyone.

No one is forced to accept it, but everyone who wants to can. We perform ordinances on their behalf, and they can choose to accept them.

Like Elder Christofferson’s talk said—without the sealing power, no action we take on earth will be bound in the next life. The sealing power isn’t just for temple marriages—it’s for every ordinance we do: baptism, confirmation, everything.

Because the sealing power has been restored, all those ordinances can be effective in the next life.
 Candice: One question I have is—just like on earth, we get married, we’re sealed to our spouse, and then we have children—and I know it’s important for our children to be sealed to us.

But eventually, those children grow up and move on, and we mostly spend time with our spouse.

So what’s the importance or the significance of having children sealed to you, if eventually they’re not with you all the time?

I guess I don’t know what that looks like in the next life—and why that sealing is important. Why couldn’t just the sealing between husband and wife be enough?
 Chad: That’s a good question. I wish the prophet were here to answer that.

I did do a live wedding this afternoon—but that’s rare. The majority of my time in the temple is doing proxy work. And 90+ percent of my time is spent on two ordinances: sealing a husband and wife, and sealing a child to his or her parents.

I won’t quote those sealings here—it wouldn’t be appropriate—but they speak about the blessings of the new and everlasting covenant.

I think we need to understand that covenant—and the blessings part of it.

Maybe this is a good time to bring this up: some people really stress about this. But I think children want that connection—all the way through the generations—linked to their parents.

There needs to be some welding, like the scripture talks about. But some people stress—I remember one of my past stake presidents, a man I admire a ton—his parents divorced. He's been very active all his life, but that really weighed on him. I remember him speaking at a singles conference, and since many people there had similar concerns, he talked about what happens when there's a divorce.

It’s interesting—I talked to the other sealer on the Thursday evening shift this week about that. He was the one who set me apart, and he’s our prior temple president. He was also a mission president in Arizona. He told me about one of his missionaries who was really stressed because, even though he had a testimony of the gospel, his parents were divorced. He asked, “What happens to me?”

There was a general authority present who helped answer that question. If you go to the handbook, it specifically says: if a child was born in the covenant—meaning their parents were sealed in the temple when they were born—even if the parents divorce later, there’s no need for that child to be sealed to anyone else. He or she already has the blessings of that covenant. So, if someone was born in the covenant, they don’t need to worry.

If we had a chalkboard, I’d draw this, but I think I can describe it. The general authority drew a large equilateral triangle with the flat side on the bottom and the two sides pointing upward.

Candice
That is a very accountant description.

Clare
I’m impressed. A mathematical description of a triangle!

Chad
Well, we don’t want it to be a scalene or some other kind of triangle!

Clare
Of course not.

Chad
So, equal sides. At the top point, he wrote “God.” On the left corner, “Mother.” On the right, “Father.” Inside the center of that triangle, he wrote “Son”—since the missionary was male. Then he drew three lines from the word “Son”: one going straight up to God, and the other two angling down to the mother and father. So you have six lines total: the triangle itself, and the three interior lines showing the child’s connection to each parent and to God.

Then he said, when parents get divorced, the only line that’s erased is the one between the mother and father—the bottom line of the triangle. The other five lines stay. The child still has an eternal connection to each parent and to God.

Candice
That’s actually a very helpful visual.

Clare
It really is. That makes a lot of sense.

Candice
I’ve thought about this before. I remember a little boy in Primary—this was years ago—his parents had recently divorced. It was his spotlight day, and one of the questions was, “Who’s in your family?” I could just see him start to tear up—he didn’t know what to say. So we gently prompted him: “You have a brother, a mom, a dad,” and moved on.

But I thought about how Jesus was raised—He was God’s Son, but raised by Mary and Joseph, His stepfather. And I thought, if that’s okay for Jesus, then it should be okay for anyone.

Chad
That’s a good way to think of it.

Candice
But I really like that visual of the triangle.

Chad
Another question that comes up is: what if someone wasn’t born in the covenant, and their parents divorce—what do they do?

If they want that ordinance, after they turn eighteen, they can choose a couple to be sealed to. But the Church really discourages choosing people unless the person spent significant time growing up in their home. You shouldn’t just pick someone to be sealed to—it’s meant to reflect real ties.

In fact, I asked our current temple president the same question about divorce. He said that for those born in the covenant, just don’t worry about it. A letter goes to the stake president confirming that you already have every blessing—you’re not denied anything because of your parents’ divorce.

Candice
I think that’s comforting for a lot of people to hear. So, are there specific blessings tied to being sealed in the temple—and do you keep those blessings even if you stop living the gospel? Like, is there still some benefit?

Chad
A lot of it depends on faithfulness—and which direction you're facing. We don’t have to be perfect, because if we did, no one would be sealed. We’re all working on it. But if someone totally leaves, I’m not sure they continue to receive the blessings.

President Nelson gave a talk to the general authorities before General Conference in April 2022 called The Everlasting Covenant. Six months later, they published it in the Liahona, October 2022 edition—it’s the first big article. In it, he says:

"Once we make a covenant with God, we leave neutral ground forever. God will not abandon His relationship with those who have forged such a bond with Him. In fact, all those who have made a covenant with God have access to a special kind of love and mercy."

In Hebrew, that covenantal love is called hesed—there’s no perfect English equivalent, but it’s translated as “loving-kindness.” It’s a unique kind of love.

He explains that celestial marriage is such a covenant. A husband and wife covenant with each other and with God to be loyal and faithful. Because of hesed, God keeps working with us, offering opportunities to change, forgiving us when we repent, and helping us come back when we stray. Our relationship with Him becomes much closer after a covenant is made.

Candice
That’s comforting. Are there different blessings in this life versus the next life tied to temple covenants?

Chad
If you listen closely to the sealing ordinance—which I won’t quote here—a lot of it seems to focus on the next life. But I think there are also blessings for this life. We shouldn’t assume it’s only about the future.

Think about the initiatory. President Boyd K. Packer said it includes both immediate and future blessings. I believe celestial marriage is the same. There are real-time blessings—strength, power, and guidance that help us today.

President Nelson often says that going to the temple and drawing closer to Christ gives us power in our lives. The Doctrine and Covenants talks about being “endowed with power from on high.” That power comes through temple ordinances—endowment, sealing, all of it—and it's meant for here and now.

Candice
Are there other scriptural or prophetic teachings that really highlight the importance of temple covenants in marriage?

Chad
Yes. In several places in the Doctrine and Covenants, we read about the “new and everlasting covenant.”

In Section 22, it says that baptism is a new and everlasting covenant—because it was restored with the gospel.

In Section 131, it says:

"In the celestial glory there are three heavens or degrees. In order to obtain the highest, a man must enter into this order of the priesthood; meaning the new and everlasting covenant of marriage."

So, celestial marriage is a required step to attain the highest degree of the celestial kingdom.

Then in Section 66:2, it says:

“Blessed are you for receiving mine everlasting covenant, even the fulness of my gospel.”

So really, the “new and everlasting covenant” encompasses the full gospel. Baptism is part of it. I believe celestial marriage is the pinnacle or capstone, but the covenant includes it all.

In fact, we just went through the Come, Follow Me section, Doctrine and Covenants 45, which is a lot about the signs of the times for the Second Coming. But it says in verse 9, “Even so, I have sent mine everlasting covenant into the world to be a light to the world, to be a standard for my people, and for the Gentiles to seek it, and to be a messenger before my face to prepare the way before me.”

And He's talking in this whole section about the Second Coming. So the everlasting covenant was brought into the world to be a light and a guide to help prepare the world for the Second Coming.

Candice: I feel like you're giving us so much good information that I almost don’t know what to add—other than asking more questions. Okay, great. Moving on.

Okay, so how can couples strengthen their understanding of the covenants they make in the sealing ordinance? Because I feel like for me, I know it's important. I completely understand that it is very important. I just get lost sometimes, and I feel like there's so much to it I almost don’t know what to focus on.

Clare: Maybe for couples—like newly married couples, or couples preparing for marriage—how can they study or gain a better understanding when they can’t make it to the temple or they can’t go as frequently? How can they just keep that fresh in their minds?

Chad: Well, you can study the scriptures. You can study talks from the prophets and apostles, because there are several talks about these kinds of things. But I really think there’s no substitute for going to the temple and hearing the covenants and being able to ponder those there.

On Thursday evening, I had three sealing sessions. Each is about an hour long. We go through couples and then children. I think I did 112 ordinances that night. The children ones are shorter than the marriage ones. In two of those sessions, there was a couple—one was there celebrating their 16th anniversary, and one was there celebrating their 23rd anniversary. So they came on their anniversary to do some sealings, just to remind them of what they went through. I think that’s a great idea.

Clare: So how can newly engaged couples—or how can newlyweds—prepare for a temple marriage?

Chad: I think the scriptures are a great preparation. I’ve actually had couples in the past come several times for sealing sessions before they got married, just to hear the ordinance. That’s happened multiple times—they’ve been there for several sealing sessions, so they’ve heard it over and over again. So when they get married, it’s kind of familiar to them. That’s not a bad idea. I know not everybody has the time.

We have some patrons who are just amazing. This one lady comes fairly often. Somebody asked her how many names she’d done—I think she said she had done 4,000 names in the last six or seven months. She just concentrates on sealings.

Candice: That’s amazing.

Chad: She’ll come and do three sealing sessions in a row and just have stacks and stacks. Not everybody has the time or ability to do that, but a lot of work is getting done.

Candice: Very impressive. Most people cannot do that.

Clare: (laughing) …Romance books or that genre.

Candice: She just picks a story to attach to that.

Clare: Yes—love is alive. That’s how I would be.

Um, here’s a question. Let’s quiz you, Dad. When did the Church announce that couples could get married civilly and then be sealed in the temple?

Chad: I don’t remember. I don’t have a date on that. But as you know, your cousin Macy—my niece—her fiancé was a convert to the Church. His parents were not members, so we had a ceremony outside the temple and then went to the temple for the sealing, which I think is nice—that people can at least see part of it now.

Clare: What would be the main difference, then, if someone gets married civilly and then in the temple? Is it just the eternal perspective?

Chad: Yes. I think when somebody gets married in the temple, not only do they have the covenant relationship and the blessings, but the whole perspective is different. Some people think, "Well, if it doesn’t work out, it’s just a temporary thing anyway." But when you’re married for time and all eternity, you want to work it out. I think you’re more invested to make it work.

Clare: I do agree with that. Sometimes when you’re dating—like in high school relationships—you’re like, “Yeah, who cares if it doesn’t work out?” You could break up and then get back together. But in a marriage, you try harder. You want to make it work because of that eternal perspective.

Clare: What role does personal worthiness and spiritual preparation play in the temple sealing experience? I feel like you kind of already covered it.

Chad: Well, it’s interesting. One podcast I listened to last week—it’s a very widespread one—

Clare: You listened to it first?

Chad: Oh no, I always listen to yours.

Clare: (laughing) Amazing ones like John, by the way.

Chad: Yes.

Clare: Yes, that’s a great one.

Chad: His guest was a woman who said that for the first year of their marriage, they had a lot of arguments. But they decided to go to the temple once a week. They would go in arguing, and they’d come out kind of laughing and joking, like, “Why were we arguing about that?” It just helped them a lot.

And she said for the longest time, Satan kept trying to convince her she really shouldn’t be there—that she wasn’t worthy. Satan likes to discourage us. He’s tried to discourage me too. When I got my mission call, I was at BYU and had the most horrible nightmare of my life. At this point, I can’t even remember any detail of it, but I woke up in a cold sweat. I thought, “Wow, what was that?” I went over to the Morris Center to eat breakfast like a cloud was hanging over my head. I went to class. I came back for lunch. After lunch, I went to my mailbox, opened it, and there was my mission call.

I thought, “Oh—that’s what that was.” And I really think Satan was doing anything he could to stop me from going. So I think people need to at least strive to be doing the right things. But if you’re waiting until you’re perfect, you’ve missed the point.

On the outside of every temple, it says Holiness to the Lord: The House of the Lord. The Lord is holy. We are not holy—He wants to make us holy. And going to the temple helps us get there. But if we wait until we’re holy, we’d never go. We miss the point if we think we have to be perfect to go.

Clare: I remember living in Provo and going to hair school. This was before I was endowed to go to the temple. I remember sometimes I’d be sad, or just stuck in my head. And sometimes I would drive up to the Provo Temple and just sit in the parking lot by myself and look at it. I just remember feeling peace. That’s just something I did.

Chad: That’s awesome.

Candice: I know it’s common to really encourage people to work out issues in their marriage and to try and stay married. But is there ever a time when you would advise someone to get a divorce? I mean, because you’ve served in stake presidencies plenty.

Chad: When I was a bishop, that kind of question would come to me, and it was hard to counsel someone to get divorced. But sometimes you had to say, you know, you’re not supposed to put up with certain things. Even several general authorities have said, we don’t have to put up with abuse. We're supposed to love and have charity for everyone—but there's nothing wrong with setting boundaries.

So I think it’s a personal decision between you and the Lord, and you should counsel with your bishop. But ultimately, it’s an agency decision.

And we’ve been told that in the next life, no one is going to remain married to someone they don’t want to be with. I remember when I served with President Dowdy, the first general authority visitor we had was Elder Chambers. He was a fairly young guy with a young son, and they had just been called as a mission president. But I remember him saying, “My job in this life is to be eternally appealing to my wife so that she wants to be with me in the next life.” I think that’s a good way to look at it. If you’ve been married in the temple, live in a way that makes your spouse want to be with you in the next life. Because if they don’t, nobody’s going to be stuck with someone they don’t want to be with for eternity.

Candice: Yeah. On that topic, do you have any advice for people who are in a marriage where one spouse has left the Church, but they’re still true to their temple covenants—so it’s kind of one-sided?

Chad: Yeah, and I think that’s probably the most common situation—where eventually some people decide to get a divorce, and some don’t. But I really believe that—even when people do get a divorce, and this has come up in Church leadership—when they say, “I don’t want to be sealed to that person anymore, so I want to cancel my sealing,” the advice from Salt Lake is always: hold off until you find someone else to be sealed to. Please do not cancel that sealing, because there are a lot of blessings in that covenant between you and God. If you're still faithful, you still have that special bond, that special relationship, and the blessings from that sealing.

If you cancel it, those blessings are gone. The sealing doesn’t mean you’ll be tied to that other person in the next life—it doesn’t mean that. But there are other parts of the covenant you don’t want to give up unless you’re ready to enter into a new one with someone else.

Candice: Yeah, just like you said before—but I feel like it's good for people to hear—you still have all of those blessings.

Chad: Yes.

Candice: Regardless of what your spouse does.

Chad: And I really believe that no one is going to be denied the highest blessings of a temple marriage. Some people never really find a great opportunity in this life to be married. My dad and his older brother Earl were both in the Army in World War II. For the last couple of years of the war, they were over in Europe. Earl was standing on top of a tank refueling—just out of the line of fire—but a shell hit a light pole, and shrapnel went into his back. He died that night.

Dad—your grandpa—later caught up with Earl’s commanding officer and asked him what happened. The officer said Earl was a really good guy. When they weren’t in battle, some of the guys would go into town and carouse—doing things they shouldn’t—but Earl never joined them. He’d stay behind, clean his gun, just keep to himself.

I don’t think Earl’s going to be denied the opportunity for those blessings in the next life. Think about how many good young men were killed in World War II—and in other wars. And think of all the women who passed away young and didn’t have the opportunity either. Don’t you think they’ll have a time—during the Millennium or whenever—to meet someone?

Candice: I would sure hope so.

Chad: Our friend Casey Hendricks—remember, I was his teacher and home advisor—he died in an auto accident at fifteen and a half. He had just had a temple recommend interview, and we were going to go to the temple for baptisms for the dead a few days later. He was a good, worthy young man. I don’t think he’ll be denied anything because he died young. I believe a lot of this will be worked out in the Millennium.

Candice: Okay, now I’m going to ask you a harder question. I think women especially struggle with the idea of plural marriage. Do you have any advice or words of comfort for anyone who finds that doctrine difficult?

Clare: This is a hot topic—especially for me. My father-in-law, or anyone on my husband’s side, knows they can’t even say the word around me or I’ll leave the room.

Candice: I think it’s a struggle for a lot of women in the Church. There are even books I can’t have in my house because they mention it. I’ve struggled with it too. I still have a hard time sometimes with the concept of sealings—because of this issue.

I do believe that a lot of people who were asked to practice plural marriage in this life probably struggled with it too. I think it was necessary at certain times. But the fact that one man can be sealed to several women—even today—can still be really tough to reconcile.

But something you've said to me in the past has really helped: that no one will be unhappy in the next life.

Chad: I think there’s a lot we don’t know about how all of that works. But I do believe that agency doesn’t go away. Nobody’s going to be stuck with someone they don’t want to be with, even in a plural situation.

If you read the biographies of Joseph F. Smith or Joseph Fielding Smith, some describe very positive family relationships. But I also think some situations were probably really hard.

Still, I don’t believe anyone will be forced into a situation they don’t want. And if you’re faithful, I think you’ll be happy with what you receive.

Candice: Yeah, I think it’s just a tough concept for a lot of people—definitely not just you, Clare. I struggle with it too. But when I start to feel overwhelmed by it, I come back to what I know about God: He is loving. Everything He does is for our happiness and growth.

So even though I don’t understand it right now—especially that topic—I believe, absolutely, that because God loves us so deeply, He will bless us in the next life. Someday, I’ll understand why it’s okay. But I don’t have to understand everything right now.

Chad: I think that’s a really good way to look at it. And it’s worth remembering that plural marriage was practiced for a relatively short period in the history of the world. Most people haven’t been asked to live that law.

Clare: For me, the only way I can come to peace with this topic is to focus on agency. Agency, agency, agency. We’re here on earth with our agency. Why would that change in heaven? Why would it be taken away?

I don’t see God saying, “Well, you had your agency down here, but up here—nope! Your husband’s going to have ten wives.” I just don’t believe that. For me, it’s: I choose no. End of discussion.

Chad: I totally agree. Agency is absolutely essential. Lucifer wanted to destroy agency—that’s why he was cast down. Even though terrible things happen in this life because of agency, it’s vital that we choose. That’s how we grow.

And in recent years, I’ve heard people talk about the next life and the judgment in a new way. It’s not so much “Did you make it or not?” It’s more like, “Do you want to stay?”

If in this life, we consistently choose other things over God, we may not want to be in His presence. It’s not that He casts us out. It’s that we wouldn’t be comfortable there.

But I believe God will forgive and forgive and forgive. If we’re sincerely trying, and we still want to be with Him, we’ll have that chance.

Candice: Yes, I think agency is so central to God’s plan that it has to exist in the next life.

Clare: As a sealer, do you hear of any other common concerns or questions that we maybe didn’t think of?

Chad: Something that is kind of interesting—this doesn't happen all the time—but occasionally, I’ll have a couple at the altar, and maybe the wife... you can tell she's lost all her hair from cancer treatments or something like that. You can just tell they've had some hard challenges. But during the ordinance, I’ve seen people transformed. It’s like they’re young again, like they’re back on their wedding day. Just that joy—it’s hard to describe, but it's powerful. I've witnessed that transformation in people.

Another thing we may want to add is this: the veil is thin. You get these little tender mercies that remind you that people on the other side are very invested in what we do here—especially temple work. I’ll give a personal example, one I feel okay sharing because it happened outside of the temple, and I have permission.

Your uncle—my brother-in-law, Bobby Salazar—joined the Church while on scholarship playing football at USC. After joining, he went to Coach John Robinson and asked to be released from his commitment. He’d just made sacred covenants and realized he couldn’t keep living in that party environment. So he left. He didn’t even know the Church had a university at the time.

Some people made some calls, and eventually he was invited to play football for BYU. That’s where he met your Aunt Julie, my wife’s younger sister. They became close, and he ended up serving a mission in Argentina. Julie actually supported him while he was out because his stepdad and three brothers didn’t really understand what he was doing. His mother had passed away when he was still in his teens.

Julie and Nikki’s mom—your grandma—raised six kids, then went to college for the first time and studied nursing at Eastern Washington University. One day she was sitting under a tree, studying, when she heard a voice in her mind, clear as day: “He is my son. He dedicated those lessons to me, and I believed.” She thought, What was that?

So she called Bobby, who was out of state, and asked, “On your mission, did you happen to dedicate a set of lessons to your mother?” And he said, “Yes... but how did you know that?”

That’s when she rushed to do the temple work for his mother so she could be in the sealing room when Bobby and Julie were married.

Clare: Oh, that’s really cool.

Chad: There really are people on the other side waiting for this work to be done. Stories like that help you feel the urgency of why this proxy work matters so much.

Clare: I’ve never heard that story before.

Candice: Yeah, that’s amazing. I hadn’t heard it either.

Clare: So... do you have a scripture or quote to share?

Candice: Oh—do I?

Clare: One? Are you kidding?

Candice: A scripture?

Clare: You mean, like, top five? Top twenty?

Candice: [laughing] Okay, we’d like to end with a quote from General Conference.

Chad: This one is from Elder Christofferson, from his talk The Sealing Power. He said:

“This sealing power is a perfect manifestation of the justice, mercy, and love of God.”
And the whole talk really explains why that’s true.

Candice: Awesome. Well, as always, Dad, you don’t disappoint. You’re a great source of knowledge, and we’re so grateful you shared your thoughts with us today.

Chad: It's my pleasure to be with both of you.

Candice: Thanks for listening, everyone. We hope you know God loves you—and we’ll see you next time.