President Nelson’s Call: Confidence, Charity, and Virtue

 In this week’s episode, Clare and Candice dive into President Russell M. Nelson’s April 2025 General Conference address, Confidence in the Presence of God. Together they explore how to strengthen our confidence before the Lord by living with charity and virtue. From managing our thoughts to teaching children about inner beauty and kindness, this discussion offers practical ways to apply the prophet’s counsel in daily life and approach God with greater peace and assurance. 

President Nelson: Confidence in the Presence of God

President Nelson: Peacemakers Needed

President Nelson: Think Celestial!

Proverbs 31:10

Moroni 7:47

Follow Him Podcast: Shout out

Book Shout out: Atomic Habits

Transcript

Fair Use & Disclaimer
This podcast episode may contain brief quotes from external sources, used in a positive and respectful manner for discussion, education, and commentary. These references fall under fair use as they are not used for commercial gain, do not replace the original works, and are presented with proper context and attribution.

The views and opinions expressed in this episode are our own and those of our guests. They do not necessarily reflect the official doctrine, beliefs, or positions of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Transcript

Candice Buchanan: Welcome to the Sisters Podcast. Before we get started, Clarissa—well, is it weird that I call you Clarissa or Riss? You go by Clare to everybody else, but I just can’t bring myself to call you that.

Clare Craner: No, I think my favorite is still Riss. I just have many names.

Candice Buchanan: You're a woman of many names. I’ll continue to call you Riss.

Clare Craner: And many personalities, depending…

Candice Buchanan: So true.

Clare Craner: …if I’m fed.

Candice Buchanan: So, before we let everyone listen to this podcast, we want you to know this was the second podcast we ever recorded. We’re still learning about sound, microphones, and how to sound normal. You think it’s easy to be yourself until you hit record, then suddenly it’s difficult. We’re trying to improve, but we’re still going to release this one because we noticed we hadn’t. This podcast goes over Prophet Russell M. Nelson's most recent conference talk, and we’ll release it right before the next conference.

Clare Craner: You’re…

Candice Buchanan: Just know, please don’t judge us. We were trying. We’re still learning, so because this was only our second recording, it might be a little dry or rough, but the…

Clare Craner: …advice?

Candice Buchanan: Serious advice.

Clare Craner: From him? Not…

Candice Buchanan: Yeah.

Clare Craner: …so much from us. But it will be good because it’s right before his 101st birthday. He’s going to share 101 lessons he’s learned in life.

Candice Buchanan: I didn’t know that.

Clare Craner: Super happening.

Candice Buchanan: Cool, I’m excited.

Clare Craner: Definitely a great mini episode.

Candice Buchanan: Okay, without further ado—enjoy. Today, we’re talking about Prophet Russell M. Nelson’s April 2025 conference address, Confidence in the Presence of God. Elder Bednar counseled us to look for doctrine taught, invitations extended, and blessings promised. That’s what we’ll focus on today.

Clare Craner: I love that focus because, at first, I thought I’d just look at the blessings, but I realized the blessings coincide with doctrine and invitations to practice. It was a good reminder.

Candice Buchanan: Conference seems to always have a theme, and for me, it’s sometimes different depending on what you get from it. One theme this time seemed to be to dive deeper into our study and maintain the Spirit in our lives. When I first thought about reviewing this talk, I worried it was short, but even a small portion has so much to discuss. We really get out of it what we put in.

Clare Craner: A few facts about our awesome prophet: he was called to the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles in 1984 and sustained as the 17th President and Prophet on January 14, 2018.

Candice Buchanan: He’s 100 now—a long life full of lessons. Today we’re talking about how to be confident in the presence of God. Similar words for confidence include trust, belief, faith, conviction, and reliance.

Clare Craner: Diving into the title, what does confidence really mean? And presence can mean the state of existing or being present. Sometimes I feel worthy and confident approaching Heavenly Father, and other times, I realize I could improve my relationship with Him.

Candice Buchanan: It’s a balance between confidence and humility. You want to be confident in His presence but not get wrapped up in self-judgment. That fear often comes from the adversary.

Clare Craner: He also mentioned how the youth are going to the temple and missionaries submitting applications—great examples of confidence.

Candice Buchanan: We discussed this in our newlywed episode, but the youth today are amazing. They attend the temple often, more than anyone I knew growing up. It’s inspiring to hear a positive conference talk—one that says, “We got this, the youth are awesome, let’s keep going.”

Clare Craner: They tell us what we should improve, but with love—not condescendingly.

Candice Buchanan: Imagine if someone in church said, “You’re all doing horrible, do better,” then sat down. That’d be…something.

Clare Craner: In his talk, President Nelson highlighted two ways to gain confidence—found in D&C 121:45: charity and virtue.

Candice Buchanan: Mm-hmm.

Clare Craner: Charity—synonyms include mercy, clemency, grace, leniency. Three definitions: 1) generosity and helpfulness to the needy, 2) benevolent goodwill toward humanity, 3) lenient judgment of others. This gives insight on how to apply charity to life.

A few conferences ago, in Peacemakers Needed (2023), the Prophet shared a story: during surgery, a patient had gangrene, and the surgeon lost control, causing the scalpel to fly into the prophet’s arm. He vowed never to throw anything in anger—scalpels or words. Words are especially relevant today.

Candice Buchanan: Absolutely needed in our world.

Clare Craner: I follow a lady on Instagram promoting modest clothing (garment-friendly). Even active members can be harsh in comments, criticizing her unnecessarily.

Candice Buchanan: So sad.

Clare Craner: People judge her for wearing the new garments, but nothing else changed.

Candice Buchanan: That surprises me—why do we judge others? My mom once welcomed a woman at a church activity kindly, despite her outfit not being “appropriate.” Kindness builds, judgment doesn’t.

Clare Craner: A quote from his current talk: “Anger never persuades, hostility builds no one, contention never leads to inspired solutions.”

Candice Buchanan: We even quoted that in our first episode—it’s so important to hear again.

Clare Craner: How does Peacemakers relate to charity? Quote: “Charity is the antidote to contention. Charity is the spiritual gift that helps us cast off the natural man, who is selfish, defensive, prideful, and jealous. Charity is the principal characteristic of a true follower of Jesus Christ. Charity defines a peacemaker.” Mic drop moment.

Clare Craner: Applying charity daily: with strangers, sacrifice convenience for compassion—let someone merge in traffic, hold your tongue on social media, avoid heated debates.

Candice Buchanan: Don’t follow or engage with upsetting accounts—focus on love and support instead.

Clare Craner: In marriage, charity may mean speaking gently, putting your spouse first, and assuming best intentions.

Candice Buchanan: I love that. A youth in a bishopric meeting said his goal was always to assume people mean the best—great advice to avoid offense.

Clare Craner: It’s okay not to be right—choose love over hostility, admit imperfection, and apologize when needed.

Clare Craner: With children, charity shows as patience, especially when they make mistakes.

Candice Buchanan: A lot of patience.

Clare Craner: Abundance of patience. Sometimes at night, when one of my children wants to tell a long story at 10:30 or 11, and I just want to check out for the day, I try to just listen—show charity and love.

Candice Buchanan: That’s a good one. You know me, I like to go to bed early, so by the end of the night, I really need to remind myself to have charity and just be patient with them. Ugh.

Clare Craner: Another good one for children is being present—giving your time to them. Sometimes I think, “Oh, I just need a little me time, I’ll scroll social media,” but then when they try to talk, I get annoyed. I need to ask myself: what’s more important—people I’ll never meet online or my children? Sacrifice a little convenience and be present. Another is teaching with love and kindness instead of shame and criticism. We all make mistakes; children especially need gentle reminders.

Candice Buchanan: Absolutely. You can still set boundaries and be firm, but do it lovingly, not shaming or criticizing.

Clare Craner: I have a great example. When my kids were younger—two of my four kids were in an argument—I decided we’d hold “court.”

Candice Buchanan: I love it.

Clare Craner: I’d get spatulas from the kitchen; they’d sit in front of me, plead their case, and weren’t allowed to talk out of turn. If a third sibling was involved, they’d act as eyewitness. At the end, each had to say something nice or silly about the other. It was a fun way to diffuse tension and show love, kindness, and respect.

Candice Buchanan: I love that—it pulls them out of the heat of the moment and turns it into something fun.

Clare Craner: Sometimes the third sibling—even uninvolved—says, “This needs to be court! Let’s do this.”

Candice Buchanan: I love it.

Clare Craner: Ending on charity, think of Moroni’s promise in Alma 7. Verse 47: “Charity is the pure love of Christ and it endureth forever.” Another reminder of how important charity is in following Jesus.

Candice Buchanan: Awesome. Alright, moving on to virtue. It’s showing high moral standards. On the Church website, virtue is described as a pattern of thought and behavior based on high moral standards, encompassing chastity and moral purity. It begins in the heart and mind, nurtured in the home, and is the accumulation of thousands of small decisions and actions. That’s what the prophet was emphasizing—all the little things we do add up.

Clare Craner: I agree. Virtue isn’t just one grand decision—it’s all the small choices along the way.

Candice Buchanan: Exactly. The little things add up and reflect who we are, including our thoughts. The prophet said: “Now let us speak of virtue. The Lord tells us to garnish our thoughts unceasingly with virtue. Imagine the boost you will receive to any positive thought when you enhance it with virtue. Virtue makes everything better and happier.” One way to add virtue is remembering your “why”—your purpose behind actions.

Clare Craner: Wait…

Candice Buchanan: …what?

Clare Craner: I hate that phrasing, “I’m just a stay-at-home mom.”

Candice Buchanan: Right? Me too. You’re doing the super important job of raising your children—that’s your focus.

Clare Craner: Exactly.

Candice Buchanan: I like reading business books that talk about mission statements. A strong mission statement helps guide tough decisions. So I wrote a “mom mission statement.”

Clare Craner: You are a badass.

Candice Buchanan: Here it is: I will teach my children to love God and show that love by following Him. Love others and treat them respectfully and love themselves. I will teach with love, not fear. They will gain confidence by doing hard things and developing their talents. I will lead by example. I will take on experiences that challenge me. I will treat others with kindness and I will stand up for what I believe. That’s my mom mission statement.

Clare Craner: That is excellent. I’m just going to copy and paste that—so professional.

Candice Buchanan: I like having it because, especially as a mom, it’s easy to feel bad about not “achieving” things outside the home. Even during busy, chaotic days, I can remind myself why I chose this path—raising my children. Everyone’s mission statement may look different, but it’s great to have an eternal perspective.

Clare Craner: Absolutely, whatever stage of life you’re in, focus on what matters.

Candice Buchanan: D. Todd Christofferson once spoke at our stake. I remember thinking how exhausting it must be to serve so much, yet he seemed happy, peaceful, and content. He advised choosing the best options first and filling in with the rest, ignoring the bad stuff.

Clare Craner: That makes me think of “choose your hard.” Working out, eating healthy, reading scriptures—still hard, but worth it. Fill your days with virtue, charity, and love.

Candice Buchanan: Love that.

Clare Craner: Long-term, it brings so much happiness, like the prophet shows us.

Candice Buchanan: You can’t fake that kind of contentment—it comes from serving the Lord. Moving on, the prophet talks about adding virtue to negative thoughts: “Imagine what will happen when you add virtue to an impure thought, a cruel thought, or a depressing thought. Virtue will drive away those thoughts. Virtue will free you from anxious, troublesome thoughts.”

Clare Craner: Thank you.

Candice Buchanan: Let’s break down each. Starting with impure thoughts—carnal thoughts are challenging in today’s world with so much online. When married, desire should bring you closer to your spouse; there’s a difference between lust and love. For youth, your current choices prepare you for future relationships. Self-control is necessary at all stages—thoughts lead to actions.

Candice Buchanan: One way to add virtue is to label the thought and move on. Satan often justifies bad choices, making them seem okay. Label it: is it pure or impure? Move on. Ask yourself: would I want my children to do this? Is this thought bringing me closer to my spouse or driving me away? Secrecy fosters shame, so avoid it.

Candice Buchanan: A quote from the prophet: “Thinking celestial will help you obey the law of chastity. Few things will complicate your life more quickly than violating this divine law.” Sadly, immorality has harmed many marriages—do what you can to avoid that path.

Candice Buchanan: Moving on to cruel thoughts—many people think they aren’t cruel, but…

Clare Craner: Hmm.

Candice Buchanan: I think if everyone around you is annoying, the problem might be with you. Try to think of something positive about whoever is bothering you. A good way to add virtue to cruel thoughts is to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and not let anger drive your thinking. Contention is of the devil. If you’re simmering with rage about a person or situation, maybe take a break. Do something else, calm down, and then approach the situation with a clear head. When you’re angry, it’s not the time to make decisions.

Clare Craner: Yeah. Calm down first. Don’t say anything.

Candice Buchanan: You can also replace judgmental thoughts by focusing on what you need to change. My nephew, who’s on a mission, once gave advice to all of us before conference: ask what you need to change before listening. If everyone did that, we’d all improve instead of focusing on what others need to change.

Clare Craner: We need to start inward.

Candice Buchanan: Yes. And if a certain person is making you angry, you can distance yourself. Focus on the positive, but it’s okay to step back if someone truly brings you down—even people online.

Moving on to depressing thoughts: let hope replace fear. Satan uses fear, but God gives hope. Even in challenges, take action to put yourself in a better place—look up hope in the topical guide, read a conference talk, sing a hymn, go on a walk, or exercise.

For anxious thoughts, we watched Inside Out 2 with our kids. It shows how anxiety can “drive the ship” inside your mind. Labeling emotions is very effective; studies show it reduces stress. For me, I get anxious before traveling—packing all the kids and the car stresses me out. Just acknowledging it and labeling it helps me manage those feelings. Let the Spirit guide you, and take steps to improve your mindset.

Clare Craner: Mm-hmm.

Candice Buchanan: Meditation, deep breathing, and clearing your mind can help reset your thoughts.

Clare Craner: What sticks out to me is that for impure, cruel, depressing, anxious, or troublesome thoughts, we can add virtue through prayer. Go to Heavenly Father—He knows your struggles. But sometimes prayer and labeling may not be enough, and it’s okay to seek extra help through counseling or medication.

Candice Buchanan: Absolutely.

Clare Craner: A full approach to healing is important. For impure thoughts, pornography, or infidelity, counseling and Church resources can be very helpful.

Candice Buchanan: It can be hard to ask for help. Most of us have people we could turn to, but opening up is difficult. Having trusted people to talk to is invaluable.

Clare Craner: Sharing makes you vulnerable, which is hard, but the Church and the world are improving at creating communities of support.

Candice Buchanan: Take advantage of those resources and reach out if you need someone to talk to.

Here are some ideas for teaching kids to add virtue to their thoughts:

• Water the good plants: Imagine each emotion as a plant. It’s okay to feel all emotions, but focus on nurturing the positive ones.
• Immorality: It exists everywhere. Have a plan for when kids encounter inappropriate content. Encourage them to tell you immediately so you can guide them calmly without shame.
• Praise appropriately: In Proverbs, it says, “Who can find a virtuous woman? Her price is far above rubies.” Praise girls for who they are, not just how they look. Emphasize inner beauty over outward appearance.
• Course corrections: Elder Uchtdorf compared life to flying—a pilot constantly makes small course corrections. Teach kids how small, consistent actions set them on the right path. Visualize it like holding the iron rod—straight and narrow, but over mountains and valleys.
• Temple focus: Encourage kids, once baptized, to work toward temple goals. The covenants bless and guide us back to Heavenly Father.

Clare Craner: The prophet invites us to be prepared for Christ’s return. Building temples reminds us to cultivate charity and virtue so we’re ready to receive Him. He said: “As we diligently seek to have charity and virtue fill our lives, our confidence in approaching God will increase. I invite you to take intentional steps to grow in your confidence before the Lord, then as we go to our Heavenly Father with increasing confidence we will be filled with more joy and your faith in Jesus Christ will increase. We will begin to experience a spiritual power that exceeds our greatest hopes.” It’s a reminder of how aware Heavenly Father is of each of us individually.”

Candice Buchanan: The blessings for living this counsel are real: joy, greater faith, spiritual power, and peace in prayer. We hope this discussion encourages you to approach God with confidence. He loves you, He hears you, and He’s preparing you for powerful things. We’ll see you next time.