Four Ways to Bring Peace Back to Christmas

In this mini episode, Candice shares four simple ways she is approaching Christmas with more peace this year. After a stressful holiday season last year, she wanted to focus on budgeting wisely, simplifying traditions, keeping Christ at the center, and being proactive about creating meaningful moments. Clare and Candice talk honestly about avoiding comparison, letting go of unnecessary pressure, and remembering the true gift of Christmas, which is the love of God. They also share a touching missionary story that beautifully captures the spirit of the season.

Clickable links to Sources

Sisters with Latter-Day Voices website

Story: Fishing for the True Meaning of Christmas

Transcript

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Transcript

Clare
 Welcome to Sisters, Latter-Day Voices. I'm Clare.

Candice
 And I'm Candice. I was trying to think of what to do for a mini-episode in December, and I just decided to err on being honest. So for me, last year was super stressful. During the holidays, I feel like I didn’t enjoy it. There was too much to do with kids, and I felt like I had a million things I needed to do and I couldn’t get it all done. I remember talking to Mom on the phone and saying, “Mom, I don’t even like Christmas, I hate Christmas.” And she was like, “Oh no, Christmas!”

Clare
 The Scrooge.

Candice
 Yeah. And I didn’t mean it, I don’t actually hate Christmas. But I really wanted to approach this year better than last year. Also, Grace got baptized right around Thanksgiving, and we had a lot of family in town. It was just a busy—

Clare
 A lot.

Candice
 —year. Yeah. So I mean, I love Christmas and I want to enjoy Christmas, so I don’t want to focus on the unnecessary stuff. So I thought of four…

Clare
 Well, even focusing on the necessary things sometimes gets overwhelming.

Candice
 Yes.

Clare
 Like you can’t do everything; you really have to pick what you’re going to do.

Candice
 Yes. Agreed. So this year already, I feel like I’ve approached it differently. And right now, it’s the beginning of December and I feel much more at peace than I did last year. So these are four tips—four things I’ve been focusing on. I’m just sharing them with you, and then I have a little story at the end.

Before I say the list, I’m not trying to be preachy. I made this list because I need it so badly, and I didn’t do a good job last year. So this is the advice I’m giving myself.

Number one: Budget.
 I know that’s not a spiritual thing, but it really does become a spiritual thing. Because if you’re overwhelmed or stressed about budgeting or how much you have to spend, you can’t relax and appreciate the season. Overwhelm comes with poor planning. So unless you are rolling in cash—if you are, good for you—but most of us aren’t, then budgeting for presents really reduces stress, at least for me.

I didn’t used to be very good at making lists; I’m kind of scatterbrained and all over the place. But this year I was good about making lists and sticking to them. What we always do for our girls is a guide of: something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read, and then stocking stuffers. So this year I’ve been better at sticking with that and keeping track of how much I’m spending so I’m spending evenly on the kids and not overdoing it.

Also, I started shopping earlier so I’m not crazy stressed during December. I already feel like I’m almost done, and now I can just… I mean, it’s still going to be hectic, but it’s better going into December.

Clare
 I just—

Candice
 Do you have a—

Clare
 Um—

Candice
 —plan?

Clare
 I like going to Brooke Romney. I have her teen thing that you flip, and it has a little saying or something. But she also has Christmas lists. Sometimes she doesn’t do them, but most years she does. I was looking at those just to see if there were any good ideas, and she had this short video. I’m going to butcher what it said, but pretty much: Christmas looks different for everyone. Sometimes people with a crazy amount of money get to spend more on Christmas, or because they have all the necessities they get to do trips or things like that. But it’s okay to want something or get something you need for Christmas. It’s okay if it’s a little Christmas.

She said it much better, but I loved the message—Christmas looks different for every individual and every family. And I think the spirit of it is what you’re saying.

Candice
 I love her, and actually I follow her. I don’t always get on social media, but I remember that post, and I love it because it’s a good reminder to not look sideways. Don’t—

Clare
 Yeah.

Candice
 —compare yourself to other people. Just focus on what you want to get out of this season.

Number two: Simplify.
 Before the holiday season starts, choose which events are most important to you and don’t add more if it will stress you out. For example, you don’t need to do a holiday card. You don’t need to do neighbor gifts or all the extra things that other people might be doing.

Think of what you want to do that will help you focus on Christ this season. And if other things fall by the wayside, that’s okay because you did the most important things.

You also don’t need to do every single night of Light the World. They’re great suggestions if you need ideas for service or thinking about Christ, but you don’t have to feel pressure to do all of them if it’s adding more stress.

Clare
 Mhm.

Candice
 You can think of your own ways to serve or celebrate Christ.

Number three: Make it Christ-centered.
 This will look different depending on your home life and schedule. Look at your calendar and plan ways to celebrate the birth of Jesus.

With kids, our schedules get busy with tests, dance recitals, sports, homework—so I like to keep it simple. At night before family prayer, we have a scripture advent calendar. It’s just a small scripture, or one or two, and collectively it tells the story of Christ’s birth. On Sundays we might watch a Christmas video or sing some hymns. And at some point during the season, we do an act of service.

My favorite nativity video is The Christ Child—it’s on the Church’s website right now. It’s mostly set to music.

Have you seen that one?

Clare
 Yeah. So good.

Candice
 It’s so good. There isn’t a ton of talking, but it’s emotional with the music and acting. Everyone should watch that.

Clare
 I will watch it again.

Candice
 Good. Well, what do you do to focus on Christ? I feel like there’s so much you can do.

Clare
 I read books with Callie. I like watching the videos on the Church’s website. And I like reading certain stories in the scriptures—just the basic stuff.

Candice
 Okay.

Number four: Be proactive.
 Christmas can be very difficult for some people. And if you’re feeling down or not excited about the holiday, be proactive about planning activities. Maybe you don’t have enough going on or you want more happening. And it still might be difficult, but planning helps.

If you’re thinking of someone else you could help, it doesn’t need to be gifts—you could spend time with someone or serve in some way. If your calendar feels empty, you could look up ideas, do some Light the World suggestions, or plan one activity a week just to get out.

If you’re a parent and want your kids to focus on Christ, plan specific times to do that. Life gets busy and I have good intentions, and then things don’t happen. I’m such a scatterbrain; I have to put reminders in my phone. They pop up and remind me. A lot of times on Sundays, that’s when we do extra things.

Clare
 Yeah.

Candice
 Anyway.

Clare
 I have so many reminders on my phone constantly.

Candice
 Yeah, me too. There’s too much going on and I’ll forget if I don’t.

But really, that’s all the advice I have. Going into this season, this year feels so much better than last year because it really is a great time where we’re celebrating Jesus. And I wanted to end with this little story I found on the Church website. It’s a missionary story, pretty short, but I like the message.

This is by Elder Jacob Murphy. He was serving in the Philippines. He said:

“Here on my mission to the Philippines, I discovered that Christmas is celebrated from September to December. December is constantly rainy and gray. Everything is green—banana trees, coconut palms, other palms.

For our last appointment on Christmas Eve, we visited a family we had just started teaching. We rode our bikes through the jungle to their bamboo-stick, tin-roofed house. When we arrived, I saw the nanay—the mother—fishing in the river behind her house with a long bamboo stick and string. She said she was trying to catch fish for their ulam, their main dish, so they could eat that night.

We had planned to go to a Christmas party with the other missionaries at 6:30, but we decided to spend some time catching tiny fish in the rain to help this woman feed her family instead.

That night, as my companion and I watched a video about Jesus Christ’s birth, I thought about how He came into the world with nothing and left with nothing. The family we served didn’t have much either. But I realized you don’t need much to be happy. Christmas is about more than decorations, food, or even service. It’s about God’s love. It’s about charity—the pure love of Christ. It’s about loving everyone.

Although this Christmas was different for me, the experience motivated me to keep working and serving, because the gospel of Jesus Christ brings people happiness. The gospel teaches us to reach out in love and charity, and I felt charity for that family.”

And I just like that story because that is what Christmas is about. It’s about God’s love.

Clare
 I think that’s a great reminder. This isn’t super Christmassy, but because of the Kalani Sitake news about staying with BYU, I watched his press conference with the athletic director. I don’t know a lot of his background—I just like him as a coach. But everything I’ve heard, I’ve been impressed with. The AD kept saying how Sitake’s heart is so pure, and he wants good things for his staff and everyone around him. His leadership style is filled with so much love—the pure love of Christ.

And sometimes I feel like Christmas becomes more about gifts, but when you focus on people like that and that example, it just makes the Christmas spirit so much better.

Candice
 I think that’s what I appreciate too. I can let go of stress and appreciate the gift of Christ and His life and sacrifice. And it’s nice to see people like that, especially in leadership positions, who are examples and a huge light for others. I love it.

Clare
 Wonderful.

Candice
 All right. We hope your Christmas season goes well and you can feel peace in God’s love.

Clare
 All right. Have a great week. Bye.