How Taylor Found Herself: A Transgender Journey of Identity with Taylor Reiss

What does it feel like to finally become yourself?

In this episode of HOT AIR, Joshua Robert sits down with his friend Taylor to discuss her journey of coming out as transgender and beginning her transition from male to female.

Taylor opens up about growing up with a supportive family, expressing herself through fashion and makeup, navigating questions around gender identity, and ultimately finding the courage to live authentically.

This conversation isn't just about being transgender. It's about self-acceptance, authenticity, courage, and learning to embrace who you truly are.

Whether you're part of the LGBTQ community, questioning your identity, supporting a loved one, or simply interested in hearing an inspiring story, this episode offers an honest and hopeful perspective.

Topics:
🏳️‍⚧️ Transgender journey
🏳️‍🌈 LGBTQ identity
💄 Fashion and self-expression
❤️ Family support
🌟 Self-acceptance
🧠 Mental health
✨ Authenticity

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Visit: HotAirWithJoshuaRobert.com to submit listener stories, topic suggestions and shop merch!

Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:00

Hey friends, welcome back to Hot Air with me, Joshua Robert. And today I am joined by my friend Taylor for a conversation that I think is going to resonate with a lot of people, whether you're part of the LGBTQ community or not. Over the past year, Taylor has begun publicly sharing her journey as a transgender woman. But this episode isn't just about transitioning, it's about self-discovery, self-acceptance, finding the courage to be yourself and what happens when you finally stop living for everyone else's expectations. We're talking about the signs that were always there, the process of understanding her identity, the role that family support played in her journey and what life has been like since coming out and beginning her transition. And my hope is that if you're listening and struggling with your own identity or feeling different or trying to figure things out, like who you are, then you're gonna hear something in Taylor's story that reminds you that you are not alone and will hopefully give you that little extra oomph to help you get there. And before we jump in, don't forget to follow me on Instagram and TikTok at underscore hot airpod. Visit my website, hotair with joshuarobert.com, where you can shop my merch, submit your listener stories, and topic suggestions. And also you can read the blogs there. I don't think I've ever said that before. There's the entire episode is taken and put into blog form. If you're more of a reader as opposed to an auditory absorber, I don't even know if that's a thing. But anyway, I love Taylor. I'm I had so much fun recording this episode. We did a lot of laughing and joking and sh the shit and catching up as well. So hopefully it makes you laugh and learn as well. So let's hit it.

SPEAKER_00 1:33

H-O-T A I R hot takes therapy, no filter. Say what I mean. H-O-T-A-I-R. Let's be real. You're listening to hot air. Hello. Hey.

SPEAKER_02 1:51

Queen of the world. Oh, hi. Hi. Where where have you been my whole life?

SPEAKER_04 1:58

Just wearing diamonds and stuff. Always. Oh my goodness. How are you?

SPEAKER_03 2:05

Good. I'm good. I spent the day at the beach, so I'm like. That's nice.

SPEAKER_04 2:11

Shall we begin? Okay. I'm comfy. You're way more dressed up than me. I have pajama pants on. So I'm just wearing jeans and a t-shirt. Well, you look lovely. Thank you. Um, we'll just go through our little questions. Um, did you look at them at all? Yeah. They're kind of like very basic, I'm sure. Other things. They're all about me. My favorite thing to talk about. Obviously. What more? What more could you want? This is all about you. Obviously. Okay. Well, Taylor Reese, welcome to my podcast. This might be the episode that gets me canceled. You're like, no, we're gonna behave. We'll be fine. We'll have fun. But you bring you bring out a chaotic side of me. So in a good way. You know exactly what I mean. I resemble that. Fucking facts. And this is exactly why we need to have you on here. I resemble it too. That's really funny. Okay, well, I know you, and I know what I mean when I say, you know, you bring out a certain side of a lot of people. You just have always been such a fun human. So for people that don't know you, that are listening, why don't we talk a little bit about you? Let us let us in. Let us know who you, who you are, where you're from, the little Taylor Reese elevator pitch.

SPEAKER_03 3:35

Okay. Well, I am originally from Michigan, but you and I met, obviously, in Los Angeles when we worked together at Flaming Saddles, the gay bar. What a joy. What a joy. It was uh an experience, but I don't think we have enough time for all that. No, it'll be a whole episode. Separate podcast, not even an episode. Yeah. Different podcast.

SPEAKER_01 4:03

Um it was fun.

SPEAKER_03 4:06

No, yeah, it was a good, it was, it was a good time. I mean, there are like highs and lows, but yeah. Well, anyway. Yeah, with anything. Yeah, well, now I am back in Michigan. Um the pandemic kind of pushed me back here. Um, because you know, California was just that lockdown was so intense. And so Michigan was opening up um for that summer. So then I came back. Um, and then the last couple winters I spent down in Florida, so I would be a snowbird. Um, but now I'm back in Michigan full time, and I'm just kind of figuring out where I want to go next because it's not gonna be here. But I mean, but I mean, my my businesses are here though. Um, I own a restaurant and a few Airbnbs with my mom. She's she's my business partner, but uh we just want to be out of the cold like for good. So we're trying to figure that out and that transition right now.

SPEAKER_02 5:24

So yeah.

SPEAKER_04 5:26

Yeah, get you're definitely not somebody who's you know meant to live in Michigan forever.

SPEAKER_03 5:33

I mean, I love I really I do actually love the state, and I do love it, especially where I'm at. I'm in northern Michigan. Um, it's just it's so beautiful up here. And I mean, this is like originally where I'm from, but the winters are so brutal and they're so long, it's just like no. I mean, I need my sunshine. Yeah, but you have nice fur coats, don't you? Well, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 6:00

Yeah, PETA, don't come after me. Or do I give a fuck? Whatever, PETA. Listen, I'm a vegetarian, so I feel for them, but a fur coat's a fur coat, okay? Yeah, yeah. They're they're lovely. They're lovely. Okay, I love a dead animal on my shoulders. What could be better?

SPEAKER_03 6:21

Or, you know, on my boots or a handbag or a scarf, you know, whatever. They didn't die in vain. They I like I don't know. I feel like I they made me look it's it's part of the luck, the winter luck.

SPEAKER_04 6:37

It is, it is, but okay, speaking of your luck, I've always known you as somebody who just wears whatever they want, right? That wears it with confidence, like from my perspective, and I think a lot of people's perspective from the day they've met you, you've always been unapologetic. You wear your makeup how you want to wear your makeup, your jewelry, your clothing. Like sometimes you'll mask it up, sometimes it'll be more feminine. Like you've always been somebody who plays with what you wear in fashion. And I always see, again, that as somebody who is confident. But I imagine was there a point where it didn't start out as confident? Like, how did you start experimenting with the way you would dress, or were you always that way?

SPEAKER_03 7:19

Well, I was always kind of like that. I mean, when I was younger, I definitely I like to always like push the boundaries a little bit, but I was a little more reserved when I was younger just because um, you know, being, how should I say it? Just like being different wasn't, it wasn't like as accepted back then, you know, in like the 90s and like early 2000s and stuff, like when I was in school. Um, it's not, it wasn't as accepted as how it is today, obviously. But um, so I would I would be a little bit more cautious, but like I would always just kind of like push a little further, a little further, a little further. Um and it just, yeah, I you know, you can only like push so far until you finally have to be like, you know what, like fuck it, like this is me. So yeah. Yeah, it's just like there's like no point in and because well, you know me, but basically I'm like such a big personality, it's like it's hard to kind of like keep that out. Yeah, you you know you can't you can't tame it.

SPEAKER_04 8:31

You either go for it or you don't, right? Right. So like when you started experimenting, I know that your mom is supportive. Was she always supportive? Were there people in your family that maybe were not or in your close environment?

SPEAKER_03 8:44

So yes, my mom is supportive. Um, and my whole family pretty much is supportive. They're just like, you know, whatever at this point. But I think in the beginning, no. Um, and I don't want to say like like anything like bad about them, but I think that they just weren't just weren't sure, or maybe thought like it was a phase or things like that, or like I just remember being like really young and um okay, so this is a funny story actually. So like when I was really young, I was in a tennis camp for the summer, and like, you know, like where your parents sent you, you learn to play tennis, or you know, whatever. So it was in this town um in Michigan called Beverly Hills, Michigan. And so I was like the Beverly Hills Tennis Club. And I don't know, I think I was like five, maybe, and I thought my tennis instructor was so cute, like so cute. And so I was just this little kid, and I just like went up to him and like kissed him, like on the cheek. And I was like, oh, you're so cute. And I went on and kissed him, and they were like, oh no. And so then the tennis school like called my parents, and then they had to like no, they uh you know, they had so they had to come pick me up and they had to like explain. They were like, they were like, uh, boys don't kiss other boys. And I was like, oh, okay. And so then I started like suppressing, but I always like, I don't know, like I always thought of myself as female. And then I guess I tried to maybe suppress that a little bit because I wasn't like super sure. So I was like, okay, so then growing up, I was like, okay, no, I'm just like a really feminine gay boy. And so I lived like as a gay man. Um, and then it wasn't until honestly, just like probably three years ago, I was like, no, I'm like full-blown trans. Like this is, I've always just like thought of myself and like female pronouns and things like that. And I've always been uh well, androgynous anyway, and then but now I feel like I'm more like fully myself, fully, right, fully authentic. So and then and just that transition in itself, like going from you know, like being a little different as a little boy, and then growing up into being like a little gay high schooler, and then like a gay young adult male. And now it's like, I think like everybody that's known me, they're just nobody's like surprised by it. So I didn't have to have like a like let me sit down with my parents and tell them I'm trans, or just kind of like, okay, which is so lucky for me because I know not everybody gets that's uh, you know, that um kind of a blessing. Yeah, that response, that type of support.

SPEAKER_04 12:08

That's that's part of why I was like, this it's such an important story to tell, because I think a lot of people think that, and a lot of people are right to think that they will have a more negative response because there are families that might respond that way, but there's also people that will surprise you, whether you're coming out as gay or lesbian or trans or bi or whatever. There are people you might assume, you know, that they are going to have a negative response, and it could surprise a lot of people that might be questioning whether they should come out that like their family doesn't care. Like when I came out, again, I didn't really need to because I'm like I was a flamboyant child anyway to begin with. So like my parents and everybody knew, but I was still scared because I didn't know what the response was gonna be. And I think it's important to also share, you know, those positive stories. It's great that you had support. And so when you came out, well, kind of came out. You said you didn't really have to, it was just like a natural evolution.

SPEAKER_03 13:03

I mean, yeah, I I did, well, I did like confirm it though. Like I finally, I mean, I told, I think my mom and I were at work, and I was just like, okay, by the way, I am trans, like these are the pronouns I'm gonna go by. And um there was like a bit of an adjustment period because she's been so used to calling me he, but now she's like fully like she pronouns and stuff like that. And so, and still like I have uh family and friends that still go he and then be like, oh shit, I mean she. And I'm just like, okay, whatever.

SPEAKER_04 13:42

So yeah. That's a good point. And I always I'm always curious, and this is something I've asked people before. It is can be difficult for people like me or friends or family to make that adjustment. And a lot of people, people I work with, people I train at the club will be like, What's the deal with pronouns? I don't understand. Like, I'm always scared to mess up. I'm you know, scared I'm gonna say the wrong thing, so I just don't. And sometimes they feel a lot of pressure. So if somebody had would say that to you, a straight person would ask you for advice uh on how to, you know, approach uh the mistakes that they might make gendering a trans person, like what type of insight or advice could you could you offer them?

SPEAKER_03 14:25

Well, uh for me, uh I don't get as crazy about it if uh someone accidentally misgenders me. I I know people that do and they'll like go on this like tirade, but I'm like, okay, but I feel like you do have to give people some grace because like when you transition or start to transition, or you know, people are used to you, your old pronouns. So you have to, I feel like you have to give them a little time to adjust as well. It's like they're not gonna be perfect like every time. But if it's a stranger and they say the wrong thing, which it actually happens in my restaurant all the time. Like if I'm serving a table, sometimes even though I'm like present as female and I'm like mostly, I feel like I'm pretty passable, um, I think my voice definitely gives it away a little bit. And sometimes like people will be like, oh, thank you, sir. And then they'll be like, oh shit, I mean ma'am, or sometimes they won't correct themselves at all. So then I'll just politely be like, oh, it's she. And then they'll be like, oh, okay. Um, but if uh somebody was coming up to me and asking me, like, well, I feel pressure, and um, like you are saying, like, what advice would I give them to just uh how to deal with that or not say the wrong thing? Um, I guess some people have asked me before politely, they'd be like, by the way, I don't want to mess this up, but what are your pronouns? And I'm cool with that, but I know that even that can just be a little bit awkward. But yeah, if you feel comfortable enough, just ask them, like, hey, what are your pronouns? Cause I don't want to mess up. Or um you can do something neutral if you're really not sure. Um, like just maybe use the they them pronouns if you're super not sure and if you don't want to like fully ask, but yeah, that's I think it's like make make an error, make a mistake, as long as you don't do it again intentionally.

SPEAKER_04 16:44

Like people are gonna slip up. But I think so many people get caught up in like, oh, I'm gonna like say the wrong thing. This person's gonna be mad at me. Like, A, it's not the first time, probably, that they're gonna be misgendered, but it's about what you're gonna do next, as opposed to just like keep calling someone he when they identify as she. Like, make the note, try not to do it again. You might do it again, do it five times, that's a different story. But like, yeah, as long as you're making the effort and you're communicating that, I think people can like you know take a little weight off their shoulders and chill out.

SPEAKER_03 17:16

Yeah, I agree with that. Um, because and now if somebody's like honestly being disrespectful, then then that's a whole nother conversation. And then um, yeah. No, was there ever yes, like you're saying you read in my restaurant?

SPEAKER_04 17:37

You're like, it's my restaurant, bitch. The good old days. Okay, was there ever a period of time when you were like, I'm transgender, but maybe you didn't want to be or you didn't want to acknowledge it, but like it was in the back of your mind. Was it something that was always kind of there that you maybe knew once you found the words for? Did you ever fight it?

SPEAKER_03 18:02

Oh, yeah, for sure. I mean, I feel like the whole time being a gay man, I was like fighting it because um it was just, I feel like being trans is so much more accepted now, where being like back then people were like coming around to like being gay, but trans was just like a whole other thing that people it's like are trying to get used to. And so I was like, I was like, well, I would think to myself, like, well, it's okay to be gay, like there will be people that won't accept it, but it's more accepting than being a trans person. So I would just be like, no, I'm just a really feminine gay man. Um, yeah, I mean, that only works for so long because I really, like I said, I mean, from from since I can remember as a child, like I always thought of myself as a woman, never like as a boy. So yeah, I definitely did try to fight that, suppress it. Um, the one thing that you asked uh were if I couldn't find the words. Yeah, I couldn't find the words for it when I was a child and when I was like a young teen. But then as an adult, like I learned what being transgender is, and then I had the words for it, but I still fought it because it wasn't as widely accepted as it is now. And so uh, you know, I'm I'm gonna be seven this month. So I also feel like I'm a little late in the game with my um transitioning. Like I I do wish that I would have trans started the transition like way, way back uh when I was younger because I feel like it would have made things easier, especially with um like hormones and stuff like that. But I'm like starting late. But you know, I'm it's I guess it's never too late to live, you know, your authentic life and be your authentic self. But I do wish that I had started back then, but I guess I just wasn't ready. And so everything happens for a reason and in its own time. So yeah.

SPEAKER_04 20:33

Yeah. Was there a time or or a s an event or a series of events that sort of started to make that all click for you where you started to accept it as opposed to try to live as a gay man? Like what created that shift?

SPEAKER_03 20:47

Honestly, I I there wasn't like any like monumental thing that just happened. I think I just was exhausted just being like just a gay man. I and not being fully myself and uh just being well being back home and being busy and not being LA anymore, where you do kind of have to. I feel like in LA you have to uh kind of play a role or play some part, you know what, you know how it is out there, and so like getting back home and like just kind of like focusing on myself and focusing on my businesses and not having to try and prove anything or like fit in with anybody, I think maybe that helps me like get out of my shell more. And then yeah, I just woke up and one day and was like, okay, I really like this is who I am, and I'm going to live who I really want to be for for the rest of my life now, for the rest of your life.

SPEAKER_04 22:00

Time. I also always forget that we're the all well almost the same age. I'm gonna be 38. But am I gonna be 38? Yeah, I always think you're like so much younger than me. We're old now. Yeah. We're getting there. Did your parents, okay, did when you were growing up and your parents and they when they turned 40, did they have an over the hill party? When they turned 40? Yeah, because in Canada, like everyone that turned 40 had a party that was themed over the hill. Like it's like when you're like basically you're halfway through your life and it would be themed, like the plates would say over the hill. Is that just a convenient thing? No.

SPEAKER_03 22:40

I'm gonna have to have one of those too. I've heard of those parties, but listen, my parents were a little too fabulous for that. Like they would teach me now. Remember, my parents are well, they were fashion designers, but you know, so they were like in that uh, you know, whole fashion industry. They were not gonna have a they were not gonna have a hey, I'm an old person party. Oh my god. Yeah, that's not really on brand. Oh no. Well, but for my mom's 60th, she took all of her girlfriends to New York, and that was a fun trip for them. And then she's turning 70 this year, and we're gonna go to Puerto Rico.

SPEAKER_04 23:26

Oh, fun. Puerto Rico's so fun.

SPEAKER_03 23:28

I've never been, but she's been a million times and she loves it. And so I'm excited. I love that. Your mom's a baddie, isn't she? Uh yeah.

SPEAKER_04 23:37

Yeah, she is. All right, bringing it back to you. Do you have any advice or what would you say to someone who might currently be questioning their identity and they might be feeling, you know, a little scared to take the next step, whether that's digging deeper within themselves, whether that's talking to a therapist or coming out, you know, being on the other end of that someone who has come out. Do you have any words of wisdom?

SPEAKER_03 24:03

Yeah, for sure. Well, definitely take your time and do it at a pace that's like comfortable for you. Um I don't feel like any kind of pressure. Um, and I am somebody who definitely believes in therapy. I have a therapist I talk to like once or twice a week, and they can really help you um unpack all of like your feelings and they can help you um if you need to come out to someone, like how you can like verbalize that and all of that kind of thing. Um, I definitely, if you're gonna go like the therapy route for help, definitely find a therapist that specializes in LGBT things, or and there's also um therapists that specialize in just like transgender care too. Um a good platform for that is better help. That's what I use. I love it. Um and then if you have friends that you can really trust or that already know, I mean, definitely like lean on your friends for support if you have a good support system and and yeah, definitely um take your time and do do like your inner work and soul searching for sure.

SPEAKER_04 25:30

Yeah. Taking your time is like that's so important. Like I think people feel like, especially now, more so that they just like have to come out, they have to pick something. And if they do pick something, like, you know, when you were identifying as a gay male, like some people would be like, Well, this is this is what I said I was. I can't, I can't change it now, even if it is who they actually are authentically. So like people are allowed to take their time, do it, you know, on their on their on their own dime, on their own dollar, on their own TikTok of their watch. Like there's no need to be. We love labels. Society wants to put a label on everyone, but like you don't have to label yourself as anything until you're ready to. But I think a lot of people feel like they gotta jump into it. And that's that makes it even more scary.

SPEAKER_03 26:16

Oh, for sure. And that's I mean, that ties in with the like, don't feel pressured to yeah, like don't feel pressured to label yourself, like just do what's comfortable for you. Yeah, totally. That's because that's the most important part. I mean, because you are the one like living this life, so live it for yourself, don't live it for you know, other people or what you think to appeal. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 26:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 26:45

What you think you should label yourself now.

SPEAKER_04 26:48

So I don't know, you know, where you are in your transition journey, but early. Since begin, you know, you've started it, obviously. Are there any changes like within yourself emotionally or mentally or socially that have surprised you? Both positive or negative, just things that you feel have shifted, or for you, does it feel the same?

SPEAKER_03 27:10

Um, I actually feel like I'm more confident and I feel like I'm more mature now, if that makes sense. Like I feel like I'm so much more aware of myself and like who I am, and I just feel good every day like that. I mean, you know, not like of course I I have bad days like everybody else, but I feel I feel more excited and really optimistic now. It's been it's been a good shift. Yeah, it's been a nice, a nice shift the last, I would say like three years. I'm like, yeah, I'm like finally, finally me. Like I don't feel like um all the weight from like I don't want to say like hiding, but I mean, yeah, I guess, or uh I don't feel like the weight of suppressing uh who I am anymore.

SPEAKER_04 28:09

Yeah, suppressing is good, but yeah, because you just were not quite there. You were almost there, but like yeah, you're suppressing a little bit of who you actually are. So I imagine yeah, that's a big weight lifted. Yeah, and it just I mean it feels good. Good. I'm glad. You're so you're so grown at our almost over-the-hill age. How comes here over-the-hill party? I was gonna say we can have a joint over-the-hill party. Okay, that's that's what I'm gonna call this episode hot air with Taylor Reese over the hill. Not actually. I won't, I won't call it that. Okay, is there something that has brought you the most joy throughout this process of finding yourself and living more authentically as yourself? Yeah. Um could be I think an interact saying experience anything.

SPEAKER_03 28:57

Well, I think the closeness with well, I've always been super close with my mom. I mean, she's always been my best friend, but watching her really like go through the motions of accepting it because I mean it it's and it still is hard for her because when she would always tell me when she was pregnant with me, she always prayed for a baby boy, and she got a baby boy and all of that. And so then now it's like, well, your baby boy. But um, and so that always made me like a little bit nervous, but no, now she's just like, I mean, I feel like we're even closer, and so just her go through it with me too, and just like just being like fiercely supportive has been really awesome. And then also um I have a really amazing core group of friends that are just like so supportive, ready to defend me, ready to like always be on my side. And so just kind of yeah, the support has been like the most amazing part. Um, and then the second part is I mean, this is more like shallow, but like my fashion has opened up more, so I can wear like more fun.

SPEAKER_04 30:28

I mean, it's not shallow, it's you probably feel how you've always wanted to feel when you put on what you always wanted to put on. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 30:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 30:37

So yeah, that's that's been great too. I mean, clothes give everyone confidence. Like when I go to a festival, I wear things that I would never wear in daily life. And like you feel fucking hot and you feel good. Like you should, you know, feel that way on a regular basis. Now, kind of on the flip side, not that I want to make this too negative, but it's I think it's important if you have any examples to touch on how maybe you've dealt with negative responses or negative people. I mean, we've had a lot of those, like when we were in West Hollywood. Like, even though it's West Hollywood, there's some shitheads, but like, how do you deal with some of those people who are the opposite of supportive?

SPEAKER_03 31:19

Yeah. She's pissed, I can see. I have uh I have a pretty crazy story. It happened up here. Um, this was maybe like two years ago. So there is this local bar. Well, it's a bar restaurant, family restaurant that is just in downtown Harbor Springs, where I live. And it's where everybody goes. It's just like, you know, a place to like get a drink and whatever. And everyone knows me there. I mean, it's a small community, so everybody knows each other. Well, I was using the restroom, and there was this woman in there. And when I walked in, she goes, I really wish you wouldn't use this restroom. And I was like, Excuse me. And she was like, Yeah, I know what you are. I'm like, okay, and what I am. I go, and what am I, bitch? And because I knew where she was going. And she's like, You're a man, and I go, No, I'm not. And she goes, Well, have you had surgery? I go, that's none of your fucking business. And um, then she went into this whole tirade about how people like me are grooming children, we're nothing but pedophiles, all this shit. I was gonna burn in hell. I mean, I cussed her out. I was like, you're the one accosting me in the bathroom, bitch. Like, you think I wanna look at your shit? Like, fuck no. I'm just here to fucking pee. And then it's still out of the bathroom. I mean, she followed me to the bar. I like went crazy on this woman, like crazy. And I said like every expletive you could think of. And um, they were like, they were like, oh my, oh my god, Taylor, like, calm down. I go, no, get this bitch the fuck out of here. And so um they ended up banning her, and then she was there like with her family, and her family came up to me and they were like, I'm so sorry. She does this all the time. And they like paid for my meal and drinks, and they're like, Yeah, this isn't the first time. But here's the thing so she works at um the bottle shop and sandwich shop in town, also. And I always go and I get my sandwiches for the beach there, and she has to make them for me. So it's the best revenge. And I just go, I'm like, Well, I'm not gonna like not go and get, you know, my vodka and my sandwiches for the beach, and you're gonna have to wait on me, bitch. And I am ready for round two whenever.

SPEAKER_04 34:04

See, this is why I love you. Because like a lot of people would be like, I'm gonna get my sandwich somewhere else. But like, you're like, No, absolutely not. My life doesn't stop. I'm gonna keep doing what I do regardless.

SPEAKER_03 34:18

Listen, it like it, I mean, I should maybe like look into also being like a dominatrix because I'm really into like punishing people and making her feel uncomfortable. Just like, I'm like, I'm not really that afraid of confrontation.

SPEAKER_04 34:38

No, you're definitely not, but that's just because like you have a confidence that a lot of people don't possess. Like you've always have. You don't you don't really back down.

SPEAKER_01 34:48

Oh, well, thank you.

SPEAKER_04 34:49

Which is which is good. You don't. It can be good or bad. It depends on how far the conflict goes. Trying to like get in a knife bite, but oh yeah, I'm not gonna do that. No, no. You use your words and you use them wisely. Question mark.

SPEAKER_03 35:08

I'm a bit of a wordsmith, I guess.

SPEAKER_04 35:10

Yes, you are. But it's funny, when you started that story, like my mind automatically assumes it's gonna be a guy who comes at you or says some shitty thing, but like for some reason it doesn't like connect that like women are just as terrible and disgusting, especially with the bathroom thing. But it's also like we're all peeing or pooping, like nobody's causing a scene except for the people that are accusing other people of causing a scene. Like, I mean it's so hypocritical the whole entire series.

SPEAKER_03 35:44

And I'm sitting there thinking, I'm like, ma'am, the last thing I want to see is your slovenly old pus. I certainly don't even want to smell it. Yeah, you're not in there to like check out her old vagina.

SPEAKER_01 35:57

I'm not there. What the fuck? Old pus. Oh my god. This is my R-rated episode.

SPEAKER_04 36:06

Oh, are we not? No, we I swear all the time. I've never said what is slovenly, old pus? I don't even know what slovenly means. It's just bad. I'll need to Google it later. I'm sweating, I'm laughing. Okay, reeling it in, Josh. Okay. I A love that story. Gonna play that on repeat, but I want to know. Okay. I want to know when you, Taylor Reese, would you think about your future or imagine it and picture it, what does it look like? Oh, obviously, not a slovenly old pus. That's not our goal. No, no, no. Oh man.

SPEAKER_03 36:47

Tight and fresh. Yeah. Got that Summer Zee on auto step. Summer Z. Sponsored by Summer Zee. Again, if people don't know, Google it. Okay, wait. So, no, my well, I hope my future has a lot more laughter and just like good jokes. Um, no, uh, just more of living authentically and just being happy and um just really thriving and just not, I guess, continuing to be unapologetic and just successful in everything that I want to do and just be happy, honestly. That's what I want for my future. I mean, even though I was super lucky to have a support system, um, it it still has been challenging. I've gone through stuff and yeah, I just wanna yeah, I just wanna feel continue to feel good and relaxed. Yeah, relaxed and happy.

SPEAKER_04 37:51

How are you approaching this transition process for yourself?

SPEAKER_03 37:56

So uh right now I'm just waiting for my appointment to uh start the hormones. I have to go down to U of M, but their next opening, U of M, by the way, is the University of Michigan. Um, but their next opening isn't even until November. But I'm on the waiting list to um if somebody like cancels to like be able to go earlier. Um I'm excited for, but also a little nervous because you know, you're taking hormones and you're supposed, uh, I guess uh you can experience some not so great side effects, but I that's just part of, you know, that's just part of the process. So I'm excited, but I actually am like a little nervous for that. Um so but I talk with my therapist and then I talk with uh a psychiatrist for that too. And so they're uh and I work with my uh GP and so I kind of have a good medical team behind me that's like helping advise everything and what to do and making all the appointments. So I feel like I have a good team behind me.

SPEAKER_04 39:14

And you have like a little plan of action you're you're just waiting and ready. Yeah. Yeah, and those like those side effects, like whenever I like think about, you know, when I wake up and I feel like extra shitty and I'm like, oh, it's extra cortisol or whatever, like during that experience, it's probably important for people to remember like if they feel down or if they feel whatever the side effects are, whether they're physical or emotional, mental, like that it is because your body is changing, because there is something happening, like on like such a deep level scientifically that it won't be that way, you know, forever things will even out. Yeah, they'll even out. They'll feel normal. Like, I imagine that's stressful and scary, and probably something that maybe you know, people probably feel that same type of anxiety as you might about it, but it will, you know, a chemical, it's just a chemical reaction in the brain. And I'm always like, that's why you feel that way, Josh. You're just you you don't got the the dopamine drip today or something, you know, like that's why you feel up or down. So just it's good to remind ourselves sometimes that it's just our brain being kooky. So we don't spiral too far.

SPEAKER_03 40:29

But that's why I also have uh um my therapist and my psychiatrist, because I feel like they can like help when if I get super emotional and can like talk it out. Yeah. So yeah, I'm I'm I'm prepared for that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 40:47

Now I want it, like obviously, hot irre is very vulnerable and I talk about everything, good and bad. And while a lot of what we've talked about is extremely positive, you have mentioned, you know, a few times subtly that like there are these harder times. And I think it's important to, you know, balance all this positive stuff if you want to share any of the experiences where it's this process has felt a little bit more stressful or a little bit heavier, as opposed to. I mean, obviously, we talked about the woman in the bathroom with her flange and or whatever we called it. But like, what are some of the times where you did feel a little bit lower and how did you, how did you manage that?

SPEAKER_03 41:27

Some of uh like family friends of ours, they still will say he. And like I know earlier I said, you know, give people some grace and whatever, but there are some family friends who just like flat out just like don't care and will just like still say he. And I get so frustrated with it, and like I've told them like a million times, like, so that's kind of a low when and when you know somebody is just like, and I don't even want to say they just are purposely doing it, because I don't think they're like trying to like piss me off. I think they just like truly just like don't care, and that's really annoying. And so um I've started a new thing where I start misgendering them back so they can like see how I feel. Of course you did. I love that. So when you know it's like a sold man and they're sitting in my restaurant still misgendering me, and I'll say to like my house, I'll be like, Oh, she wants a refill on her coffee.

SPEAKER_02 42:39

I love that. Well, that is the smartest thing I've ever heard. Like, okay. Oopsie, and they're like, I'm like, ma'am, is everything good?

SPEAKER_05 42:51

You like your eggs fucking Benedict? Bitch. Like your eggs, Benedict.

SPEAKER_01 42:56

I need a shirt that says that. You like your eggs, Benedict, bitch. You can tell those that your breasts are up.

SPEAKER_03 43:03

Yeah, I should. We've changed the name from small batch to small bitch. Um so that's kind of hello. And then um, you know, uh people who don't know me can sometimes say, I've had to like block people on social media and things because I'll get awful messages. And so I don't really like to like read a lot of them or even like read a lot of comments and things like that. But um, you know, there have been people that I have been friends with who have been like sent me a message and they'll be like, well, you know, um you have a mental illness and I'm praying for you. And I'm like, girl, no. So then block, and it's just that like, yeah, that sucks. And then um, yeah, just nastiness, nastiness, especially, especially in our current Uh I hate to even like talk about politics, but like our political climate, it's just a lot of people feel like now they're um emboldened and have a license to uh be super extra negative towards the community and just or even just like everyone in general. It's just like uh there's a lot of hate right now, and that's like that like gets me down a lot sometimes. But then I just have to say, you know, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 44:30

Yeah, everyone feels like they can just be shitty to everyone regardless of uh race or sexual identity or gender. Like everyone's just kind of an asshole, really. Yeah, it's quite quite negative, but I I love that you you start intentionally misgendering people. That's so good. I think every transgender person should start doing that. That's so fucking genius. Like, we need to start a campaign that is so good, yeah, because nobody would like it. Like, I I wouldn't want somebody calling me she all day. It actually gets me mad because people in school used to call me she to make fun of me, and I identify as a man. Like that that that's who I am. So, like, I wouldn't want that, and I imagine nobody else would want to be called something that they're not. Like that it just makes the most sense.

SPEAKER_03 45:19

I mean, obviously to us because we know, but I try to stay uh on the positive side though, like, and then you know, I just I use a lot of humor or I use a lot of sass to uh counteract the negativity, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 45:35

Be sassy, just be sassy, laugh it off, call a bitch a bitch, and move along. Or a cunt. Or a cunt. We can we can we don't have to whisper cunt here because I say that all the time. I think I love that one from the rooftop. Although my dad will hate it. He was like, Josh, you swear too much. Like when you're talking about you know helpful, serious things. I was like, Well, I do have a potty mouth. Everyone knows that. Cunt. Yeah, like we live dad. I wasn't calling my dad a cunt, I was just saying cunt. Okay, I do have some rapid fire questions, but before I do, I want to know if there's anything else that you feel like you want to share, if there's anything you want to say to the trans community, whether they're out or not out, or just anything else you feel like maybe we didn't touch on. Which obviously that that could go in all areas.

SPEAKER_06 46:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 46:28

Um I mean, just uh I guess what I would say to the trans community is just, you know, uh, like I said before, just do things at your own pace and um and come out when you're ready to, and just I would think about um what like what you asked me earlier, what your future looks like. Because if you really think about that and like what it's gonna feel like to live authentically, I feel like that will also help you um which with whatever stage you're in in your transition. Because like always looking forward to the future and kind of planning for that. Also, uh write it down in a journal and then read it back later. That's always super, super helpful. Like if you write down what your goals are, what you want in life, um, and what your future is gonna look like. And then, like, when you reach that milestone and then going back and looking, it's actually really cool.

SPEAKER_04 47:31

Yeah, like visualizing or taking note of where you want to be in six months, and then going back and being like, this felt like such a foreign concept or a hard-to-reach goal or something that might never happen. And like time progresses so fucking quickly, right? Like, it's like people I say this all the time like, you know, someone who's like, I want to be in the best shape of my life in a year, or but they don't start doing anything. That year is still gonna happen, right? Like time is still gonna go ahead. Like, same with me. I'm like by my birthday, I might have a goal. My birthday's still gonna come in July. July is still gonna come, whether I take the action or not is is gonna matter. And like remembering that you can then look back at where you came from, even just even before you start looking back where you came from. Like you looking back to, you know, kissing your kissing your dentist coach, right? And like not knowing what that means, like looking at all the things you've accomplished, and me looking back at you know, growing up in Canada when I when I think about, oh my god, like the life that I live currently is a life that like little gamey never would have been able to even imagine or comprehend, or like would be like, damn, that's like a cool life. And I imagine little you looking at you now would think the exact same fucking thing. I mean, like, get it, you know, yell at that bitch in the in the restroom, misgender that guy, but also celebrate who you are, dress how you want to dress. Like talking to like how RuPaul does, right? When he's like, what would you say to the younger version of yourself? Like, think about that the kid that you once were for a lot of people, is really helpful in, you know. I guess I would tell my younger self rally.

SPEAKER_03 49:14

I would tell my younger self, like, girl, you are gonna be such a hot bitch. You're gonna piss off so many people. I'd be like, You're gonna piss off so many people, but you're gonna have so much fucking fun. It's going to be the time of your life. It really is.

SPEAKER_04 49:35

Keep that tongue sharp, girl. And you certainly do. Actually, I'm curious. Is there like one memory of you and I when we worked at saddles or like in our West Hollywood times? Some like your prominent Josh memory, other than when you came down here for pride and your friend tried to kill me. Because I don't remember that, but you yeah, but you don't remember.

SPEAKER_03 49:57

Oh my gosh, saddles. I mean I do kind of well, I remember being like the manager that just didn't really give a shit what anybody would do. And like the other manager would be a little more um oh, maybe strict or by the rules. And I was just like, oh, you want to do a shot? Okay, can I do one with you? Like remember, they were they wouldn't let us drink behind the bar. And I was like, I was like, I was like, oh, well, if you come to the office.

SPEAKER_05 50:33

I'm like Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 50:35

No, you were on the or like I would bring um, I would bring the uh Starbucks cups with my uh Trenta ice cream tea. Ice green tea shot.

SPEAKER_05 50:49

And I mean, but those were long workships, and so like you had to get through them somehow.

SPEAKER_04 50:55

You needed to. It was crazy that we weren't allowed to drink there.

SPEAKER_03 50:59

Yeah, because every other bar I've worked at, they're like, yeah, you have like you have like a spill tab and you have like you know, a little whatever, and it's just just what it's just what you do.

SPEAKER_04 51:10

It is just what you do. I'm like, I used to bring, I used to go to the like the variety store or corner store on my way while while I was walking, and I would get those disgusting bott little bottles of liquor, the nine ninety nine. Remember those? And they have all the insane.

SPEAKER_03 51:28

They have like the banana flavor. I'm like, all the flavors.

SPEAKER_04 51:32

Yeah. And I would put them in my backpack, and then throughout the shift, I would take it into the into the employee bathroom and drink, take the shot, and then I'd go back to work. I mean, there was times when I was definitely very drunk. Uh I mean, obviously it was a bar. And I would also like I would also when I would have to take stuff to that back um like store storage unit in in the parking lot. Like sometimes I would have to bring whatever it was back there or go grab something that we needed. And they would always have bottles of alcohol back there that were brought by the reps. Yeah. And I would drink out of them or hide them in the bush outside and then go literally drink in the bush in between like serving people.

SPEAKER_03 52:16

Do you remember um like how chaotic I would get at the dish stack? Remember, I would just like, do you remember this at all? Like, I would just like take the tray of glass and be like, oh, fuck this.

SPEAKER_05 52:28

And I'd just like or like throw them away. And then like, I'm like, how many more dishes do you guys have to do? I go, no, fuck this, just throw them out.

SPEAKER_06 52:38

Or like spray people with water.

SPEAKER_04 52:41

Spray the whole fucking room with water. Yeah, that was fun. Let's I'd go back for like a day, maybe one day just to fucking well, yeah, yeah. No, maybe I would too. I mean, also just to eat the fries and that dipping sauce, because that sauce was so good. That was so good. Yeah, so delicious. R.I.P. I also I went to Playing Saddles in New York. Oh, how was it when I met it-bitty, like much smaller as is. Did you did you see the owners? I did not. There is a picture of the female owner. I don't even, I'm like, should I say her name? On the wall as well, duh. Um do not say their name.

SPEAKER_03 53:26

That's why I said the owners.

SPEAKER_04 53:28

The owners on the on the wall.

SPEAKER_03 53:30

Like when you just when you just told me, like, oh, I went to the one in New York, I'm like, they let you in. They don't have like a picture on the wall saying this hoe is banned. You know, simply because actually, we're not gonna go there.

SPEAKER_04 53:45

We can't talk about it. Okay, rapid fire, rapid fire questions. Rapid fire questions. These are completely random, but if Taylor had a warning label, what would it say?

SPEAKER_03 53:56

Oh damn, that's a good one. Um, maybe explosive, probably. Diarrhea, explosive diarrhea. Um well, yeah, maybe it depends.

unknown 54:08

It depends.

SPEAKER_03 54:10

No, the warning label would be it would be like intoxicated or like maybe it would be hot air.

SPEAKER_01 54:17

Maybe it would be full of hot air and explosive diarrhea.

SPEAKER_04 54:22

Toxic explosive diarrhea. It's kind of a good set, kind of a good segue. Because what's your most toxic trait?

SPEAKER_03 54:30

My most toxic trait?

SPEAKER_04 54:32

Yeah. Don't look so bashful. Like you're innocent.

SPEAKER_03 54:36

I mean, probab yeah, probably the fact that I'm unfiltered. Like, I just I push it. That's I and and like sometimes I'll push it on purpose, like knowing it's not. I mean, yeah, sometimes a little chaos is good.

SPEAKER_04 54:59

Yeah, we're gonna keep things exciting in the world.

SPEAKER_03 55:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 55:03

Yellow. Yellow. Okay, if you were arrested, what would it be for?

SPEAKER_03 55:08

Oh, um, probably I would say uh probably accosting a customer if they really get me to that little physical assault.

SPEAKER_04 55:19

With assault with a deadly weapon, yeah, my fist. Okay, with those rings though, yes, danger. Those will kill you. Okay, now you might not want to answer this one. What's the most that you've ever spent on a single item of clothing? So not your expensive bags, but you can talk about it and not jewelry. I'm just jewelry. It's all clothing.

SPEAKER_03 55:46

Um one of each. Oh god. Okay. Let's see. Um, I have a dress that I think was $25,000? Yeah. $20,000. Uh um that seems normal. Yeah, so if if we're talking clothing, yeah, um, like a $25,000 dress. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 56:12

Cool. Same. From Shein. I got mine from Shein. Okay, what is currently sitting in your online shopping cart?

SPEAKER_03 56:21

Mmm. That's a good one. I need to pull the trigger on. I know, because my birthday's coming up. So I do actually have a cart right now full at one of my favorite stores, Fashion File. They're owned by Neiman Marcus. Um, but it currently has a Rainbow Chanel flap in it, flap bag. And then it has a Birkin 25 centimeter in pink. So same as well. Yeah, I can definitely relate for sure. That's in that's in my fashion file shopping cart right now.

SPEAKER_04 56:59

Love. Oh my goodness. You crack me the fuck up. It has been far too long. And I would like to say that A, you have always been probably, I feel like the most authentic person that I I have encountered in life. You've always been just you, and I admire that so much. And I think that the trans community as a whole are, I say this time and time again, like the bravest people on the planet. I can't, I it's hard enough, you know, to come out as gay, let alone trying to, you know, share your journey being a trans person and make that transition both physically, socially, like the pushback, especially now. So I uh applaud you. I think it's like very brave, and I'm so glad that you are just living how you feel like you've always wanted to. So I'm very proud of you.

SPEAKER_06 57:52

Thank you, Joshi. You're so welcome.

SPEAKER_04 57:56

I love y'all. Love you. Wait, Brooklyn's here.

SPEAKER_06 58:01

Brooklyn! Look at that, look at that bitch. Yeah, do you remember your auntie Taylor? The one that was so remember. So um sassy.

SPEAKER_04 58:12

She was so uh Yeah, you knew you've known her from the beginning, too. You're like one of the few. I've known her since before you knew her. That's true. From a van off Craigslist. Yeah. On the corner of a street. Crazy bee. I thank you for being here and sharing your story. Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_03 58:40

This was so much fun.

SPEAKER_04 58:41

It reaches it was. I hope it reaches people, you know, that that need the inspiration and the insight. And I mean, obviously, you should come back anytime. Oh my gosh, I would love to. And that, my friends, is that. Taylor, thank you so much for being here and sharing your story so openly. One of the things I love most about this conversation is that while everyone's journey is different, the desire to be accepted and understood and loved for who you truly are and also respected is something that we all have in common. And I hope that today's episode reminded you that authenticity isn't something that you earn, it's something that you deserve. And whether you're questioning your identity, supporting someone you love, or simply trying to become more yourself in any which way, I hope that you take away the message that there is no timeline for self-discovery and no wrong way to be who you are. And if you enjoyed today's episode, please take a moment to follow, rate, like, subscribe wherever you are listening and review hot air, also wherever you're listening. It helps more people discover the show and keeps these conversations going. And like, what better way to support Pride Month than to share the episode and rate the episode? And you can also follow me on Instagram and TikTok at underscore hot airpod. Visit my website, hotair with joshuarobert.com to shop my merch, submit your listener stories and topic suggestions. There's also some resources uh for the gay community, queer community, trans community, LGBTQ plus community, but on that webpage are mostly specific to the trans community, people looking for therapy, transition help, and assistance. I have there's probably like 15 websites that I have linked on the webpage. So if you need those resources, they are there for you. So thank you for listening. I hope everyone is having a wonderful Pride Month because you know I'm about to get lit at NYC Pride soon. I've got way more fun guests coming up and some more serious guests, some important messages, important stories to share for Pride Month. So stay tuned, keep listening. And as always, I will see you next Tuesday.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:53

No filter. Let's be real, you listen to hot air.