Don't Suck: Life, Family & Softball
Don’t Suck: Life, Family & Softball is a father-daughter podcast where passion meets the grind. Hosted by Ronald and Madison Smith, we dive into the highs, lows, and lessons learned from the game of softball and how they apply to life beyond the field.
From early morning workouts to late-night tournaments, and road trips—we talk about the dedication, sacrifices, and unforgettable moments that come with chasing dreams. Expect real conversations, funny stories, competitive debates, and insights into the softball journey, plus a little family banter along the way.
Whether you’re a player, parent, coach, or just love the game, Don’t Suck is here to keep it real. No excuses, no regrets, just hustle.
Don't Suck: Life, Family & Softball
Behind Home Plate: Navigating Parental Mistakes and Teen Trust
Parenting is a delicate balance between friendship and authority - but what happens when those lines blur? In this candid conversation, Ronald, Madison, and Claudia explore one of the most challenging aspects of raising children: deciding whether and when to share your past mistakes with your kids.
Ronald opens up about his approach to parenting Madison, revealing how he's cultivated a relationship built on honesty while maintaining clear boundaries. "I have been more of a friend to Madison, but I think Madison knows where the line is with me," he explains, highlighting his philosophy that trust creates safety. This perspective comes from his experience becoming a father at 19, which he describes as his "greatest mistake" that transformed into his greatest blessing.
The discussion takes an unexpected turn when Claudia offers a counterbalancing perspective, sharing how her own rebellious teenage years taught her that too much parental disclosure can sometimes backfire. "Growing up I'd always be like, 'oh well, you did this, why can't I do it?'" she explains, sparking a thoughtful examination of how timing, context, and presentation matter significantly when revealing personal history to your children.
Between Quick Pitch Questions featuring Madison's childhood imaginary puppies and the weekend softball tournament recap, the conversation builds toward its central question: does transparency from parents make children more likely to share their own struggles? Ronald's passionate answer reveals what might be the true purpose behind sharing our imperfect pasts - creating a lifeline for our children when they need it most. "If you're in that situation, let's talk about it," he emphasizes, highlighting that safety and trust should ultimately guide every parenting decision.
Join us for this thought-provoking episode that goes beyond softball strategy to examine the heart of parent-child relationships. We'd love to hear your thoughts - reach out on social media or email us at DontSuckLFSPodcast@Yahoo.com!
came up young. Glove in my hand, dirt on my cleats yeah, way before I had a fan. Late nights, cage lights perfecting my stance, got a dream in my heart.
Speaker 2:I ain't leaving the chance you're listening to the don't suck live family and softball podcast with your host ronald. Come on blue, where'd that miss?
Speaker 1:and madison smith it was literally five balls off the plate you've been calling that all day.
Speaker 3:Week three, episode three. We're back. I've got Madison hey guys and Claudia hey y'all and we're looking forward to it. Last week was a lot more fun. We got a lot more comfortable, wouldn't y'all agree?
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, absolutely Much easier now.
Speaker 3:We're really hoping y'all are enjoying it. I know we are. We suck or not, so just don't click on it if you don't want to. Don't suck. Well, before we get going, claudia, do you want to get us started?
Speaker 2:in quick pitch questions. Yes, let's get into it. What's the weirdest or funniest dream you've ever had?
Speaker 1:I'll go first. I don't know if anybody knows this, but when I was younger I used to have imaginary dogs. They're like little white puppies, and I guess this had something to do with it. You remember that, dad?
Speaker 3:oh, do I? Oh, that's crazy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, it's creepy yeah, um, he can tell you a little story about it if he remembers one. But I guess it like correlates with my dream, because one night little me was sleeping and I had a dream that this poodle monster guy, he was green and you know those hats. You know those hats that like they're like right here, like they go over your head and then they cover your ears like with the flaps of your ears.
Speaker 3:Yeah, trapper hat.
Speaker 1:Don't know what it's called. He had that on and he had a tennis racket and we used to have a birdbath in the front. Well, he chased me and the poodles I guess they the poodles around the house with a tennis racket, like trying to get them and he buried them in the hole in their birdbath in the front yard and I was terrified of it and this went on for years.
Speaker 3:I mean, we would go in the room and she would say the white puppies are keeping me up, or the little puppies, what puppies? The little white ones in the corner. It was creepy, we didn't know what was going on. Little white ones in the corner, it was creepy, we didn't know what was going on. So maybe, maybe every screw is not tight up there. We're not so sure. I personally, I don't. I can't think of a dream. I I'm one of those I don't dream.
Speaker 3:When I do dream, I don't really remember them, so I have nothing that dream has stuck with me since I was like little bitty and I always think about it too I think there's a coach out there who's mentioned this to me, coach Chris, maybe he said that you told him one time, that's funny, I think.
Speaker 2:Well, so I have lucid dreams here and there, but the weirdest one that I had was I had a dream that there was a fire in the house and I was like sleepwalking. Like I was like asleep, but I was like walking and stuff through the house. And then I go to the laundry room and there's like flames all in there and so like I'm trying to put it out with a fake fire extinguisher. It's kind of freaky. But and then I ended up waking up as I was walking back to my room and it was really, it was really creepy. But yeah, that was like the weirdest room I've ever had. It's crazy, yeah.
Speaker 3:If you could gain one skill, what would it be in softball? Can mine be life?
Speaker 2:I don't want no skills in softball at this point.
Speaker 1:This is a softball question. Well, go with your life.
Speaker 3:one my life one I would want. I mean, who wouldn't want to fly?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Flap these fat arms, put some muscle on. I always think about birds.
Speaker 1:They just stand on the ground and start flapping their wings and they just take off. But I think about birds they just stand on the ground and start flapping their wings and they just take off.
Speaker 3:But us, even if we got wings, that wouldn't happen, no it wouldn't, we couldn't just like.
Speaker 1:how does that work All?
Speaker 3:right. What's your skill you wish you had.
Speaker 1:I think I would want to just be really fast.
Speaker 3:Yeah, if I could get a skill from Madison, it would be more speed. Yeah, I mean, you know, I think you're great where you're at.
Speaker 1:I'm average.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no, I'm just saying overall oh, you might suck one area, but you're pretty good somewhere else.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it balances out.
Speaker 3:What about you, Claudia? What would your skill be if you could have a life skill?
Speaker 2:Not breaking your knee? Yeah, yeah, maybe that. No, I'd probably have to agree with being more fast. So I'm a cosmetologist and man. If I could do a full foil in an hour, I'd be making a lot of money. So I'd have to say fast for sure, what's your favorite tv shows the office of course, the best show you're gonna say that and the house remember the show. Uh house the doctor yes, I remember was that hugh laurie.
Speaker 1:What an awesome actor he's like british and the dude had a complete english. Well, american english a dude does that in gossip girl. He's like english or whatever, and he speak, or what's it called british and he speaks an english accent.
Speaker 3:Yeah, american english, because you have english okay, american accent, yeah that look, I mean, don't correct us. I, I have no idea.
Speaker 1:We're just American. I mean, we don't know. I think Grey's Anatomy is really good. Yes, vampire Diaries is good. Yes, yes, yes, yes yeah.
Speaker 3:And shout out to my boy I am currently watching the Sopranos too, for the first time. I think it's like 35-year-old season, but it's been great.
Speaker 2:What about you, Claudia? My number one is the Vampire Diaries. I actually went to Mystic Falls in.
Speaker 1:Georgia. Oh, that'd be so fun.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was really cool, but that's definitely number one. I like Grey's Anatomy and Gossip Girl.
Speaker 1:Love Gossip Girl. Oh, Gossip Girl is so good.
Speaker 2:Would you rather win ugly or lose playing your best?
Speaker 1:I think I'd rather lose playing my best because I don't know. I'd rather just know that I've tried my best Because you know you win some games. We win games all the time and it's like dang, that was one ugly game, we got lucky, but we won. And I'll still sit there and think, like dang, I struck out twice and I made an error in the outfield. But if I lose playing my best, I'm like oh well, I hit a home run and I got RBIs in me. Maybe it's selfish of me.
Speaker 3:Well, it kind of comes back last week, when you played Fay and we come home and I've talked about this before I grew up as a parent Madison come home, she was like, hey, dad, I pitched great and I said, what about your bat? I mean, I agree, sometimes you play high one place, you play low somewhere else. So you know, not bad. I would have to say both are important. It is important to find a way to win those games when nothing's going right, and it's also nice to have a great game even if you lose.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And I do have a story. I remember one time and I won't say the place, I won't say the team, but y'all know how it is. Sometimes you just have errors, I mean, and sometimes once one error comes, ten more come after it. It is. I've watched Madison make the same error, so I'm not calling anyone out here. But she came out of a ballgame one time and she was so excited and we had lost the game like 9-0. It was like one of the first games of the season in this travel ball tournament and she said she had this smile on her from ear to ear. I said what are you smiling about? She said, dad, I threw 76 pitches. I hit every spot. My coach called except for one. But I can't do nothing about my defense today. I thought, get in the car and don't talk to me. But that is the levelheaded mind of Madison. She does as we said before. She stays in that same mindset in the circle.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. What is a food you refuse to try?
Speaker 1:I think oysters are nasty. I don't ever see myself trying to eat one of those.
Speaker 3:So I think everybody should have a no thank you portion of whatever is on the plate. I think you should at least try it, because your taste buds do change. But two things I have never liked but I will try was meatloaf and sloppy joes same yeah, that's so sloppy, joes are not? Oh, and I'll never eat a salad, my mom oh never, don't be a salad patty hater.
Speaker 1:One time my mom got this recipe from her friend of sloppy joe casserole and she told me it was a hamburger helper. Yeah, she was like no, she was like we're gonna try this new hamburger casserole that, um, my friend, miss amy, told us about. So she cooks it and, like we knew, it smelled like sloppy joe sweetness in the house. She's like just try it. It's so good.
Speaker 3:Immediately, yeah, tried it disgusting I Cocoa Pebbles that night yeah.
Speaker 1:She thought she was going to be sliding past us. What about you, Claudia?
Speaker 2:Probably cottage cheese. My mom loves cottage cheese.
Speaker 1:I don't think I could ever she grabs the jar and eats out the jar on the couch.
Speaker 3:I don't think I've ever had it because it doesn't look appetizing, but if somebody had it on a bowl I'd probably take some right now yeah.
Speaker 2:I think I'm good. What is?
Speaker 1:the worst softball drill. Well, 21 outs is terrible.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It depends on who you're doing it with, but most of the time it's terrible because certain coaches are going to have certain rules, like for Baker. We did 21 outs not too long ago and it was. Every time you make an error, the person who made the error stays there and fields balls, while the rest of y'all runs to the opposite side of the field and back, which I mean that was kind of a bad practice that day.
Speaker 3:So we sure didn't run a lot but I would say I mean, you know, look, punishment a field that's part of the game, but the work. If I had to go do a softball drill now, it would be that around the world I used to make y'all do. When I coach y'all, where you step, you start at home plate, you run to first, I blow a whistle.
Speaker 1:You have to turn back around like oh yeah, that's more of like a well, I guess it is softball drill, but it's just open your ears up, listen.
Speaker 3:But boy, if you are mad at the kid you can blow that whistle all day it'll take them 40 minutes finish around the bases, yeah what's you, claudia?
Speaker 2:um, y'all, what is that drill, I cannot think of it, but where you have to run here and then run there, and then what is that?
Speaker 3:okay, that is what the around the world is, but oh, is it around the world?
Speaker 1:it's. You're running the bases, you're running the bases, you're running the bases, and once you hear the whistle, you go back, you turn around. Oh yeah.
Speaker 3:You go, say back, go back.
Speaker 2:And I mean yeah that's my least favorite because I hate running. So yeah, I hated it. Best compliment you've ever received.
Speaker 1:I love your hair. That's sweet when somebody tells me that they like my hair. Oh my gosh, it makes my entire day.
Speaker 3:Probably two things. One, personally, it would be when I've heard somebody make a comment about me maybe my work, ethic and things that I've achieved to someone who means something to me. And then the second thing would be whenever someone tells me something nice about Madison, like in the way not necessarily athletic-wise but oh, you've got such a great kid, she helped my daughter here, or something like that.
Speaker 1:I really love to hear about those things.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's good. What about you? I think I think I have two. Well, one that I can really think of, but one time I got told I see Jesus in you and so that was really sweet to me. In a minute, a lot. So yeah, yeah. And I'm in a lot, so yeah, yeah. And I think my other one would be when somebody says like they're proud of me or that I've come a long way. Yeah, that one means a lot. What is the best feeling in softball?
Speaker 1:Probably when you can feel other people be like proud of you and like happy for you. You know what I mean like throwing a good game or not even just playing it, but when you can genuinely tell that people are proud of you and like how good you've been doing, or they can see that growth in you, like you can actually feel it, that is like the best feeling to know other people are thinking that good about you.
Speaker 3:It's like, oh wow yeah, I, I like that and I think skill wise playing baseball. It was when you hit that ball perfect.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there's no better feeling than when you hit.
Speaker 3:It's so smooth, you know like I'm about to bat flip on you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean I'd have to piggyback off what you said about the recognition. Like you know, a lot of us are hard on ourselves, so like when we hear somebody say, hey, you know you did a great job out there or you've had a great season, it just it feels, it fuels your fire pretty much. Like you just get more pumped up and you know ready to go.
Speaker 3:Or to add that how nice is it when you see someone I really try to do this with kids when you see someone that you don't talk to every day, it might even be like an old parent or something like that and they say, man, I seen that post of you the other day and where you hit that home run or you, you know you had 10 strikeout. I really like to hear that, as parents, we should do a better job of that too, cause I've seen the way that resonates with kids and it's something special for them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah for sure. What's a weird talent or skill you have? I?
Speaker 1:can wiggle my ears.
Speaker 2:No, you can't, for real.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and also, if y'all don't know, I'm like an amazing singer too.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, From the first episode yeah, week one.
Speaker 3:I don't know. I'm way too humble to tell y'all. Y'all say it I'm way too humble.
Speaker 2:Say it. I can hit home runs Like what.
Speaker 3:I think I'm really good at managing any situation.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:No matter what.
Speaker 1:You're also not to toot your horn, or nothing. Please do but like you're very good at making somebody feel like it's okay. You know what I mean. Like when something happens, it's like you're like I don't know like the way you can talk to people Like a safe place.
Speaker 3:Yeah, man, affirmations here. I don't know like the way you can talk to people.
Speaker 1:Like a safe place.
Speaker 2:Yeah, affirmations here. I love it, claudia. Okay, so my weird talent would have to be my arms are extremely double-jointed. So like I can take I don't know if this makes sense, but like I can take my arms, hold my hands together from the front and then bring them all the way to the back like to my back.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:So it's a weird. Yeah, all right, what was your favorite tournament?
Speaker 1:Oh, a tournament in general. Yeah, we went to Tennessee one time and I really liked that tournament.
Speaker 3:We didn't get to go.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I went with my grandparents, but it was one of those tournaments. I'm sure it's similar to Colorado, which we're going this summer, so I'm excited to see how that one is. I'm sure that'll be a favorite. But it's one of those where it's spaced out. You got to go do stuff you weren't playing every day.
Speaker 3:So it's not necessarily about the field you're at or nothing like that. It's about more or less the environment. Kind of yeah, and the fields were very nice. I had a big walk-in and it was pretty there too, and Vieira when we went there for the Space Coast tournament I mean beautiful stadium and it allowed time for vacation, which was nice yeah.
Speaker 2:My favorite tournament. I can't even remember where it was at. The main thing that I remember was I played for Velocity travel ball team and I was 13, playing 18 U. I was terrified and I pitched that tournament and I did very, very well. So yeah, that was my favorite tournament, for sure.
Speaker 3:All right week. Three quick pitch questions out of the way. That's exciting. I hope you all are enjoying it as much as we are. It's nice to get to, I mean, not so much meet who I am, but at least to meet my kid, and I think she's done a great job so far. So hats off to you.
Speaker 1:Thanks.
Speaker 3:So tougher questions Any boys.
Speaker 1:Why are you asking that on the podcast?
Speaker 3:Unscripted. Here we go. We're going to show them the real world. Any guys that I have to deal with right now? It's week three and you've done pretty good, so I just have to make sure.
Speaker 1:Nope, they can listen to this and hear all about me.
Speaker 3:We'll turn this into when she's old enough to date, which is 24.
Speaker 2:We'll turn this into Madison, oh, 24 by age. Dang, you got a long time to go, we'll turn this into Madison's dating show. Eight years.
Speaker 3:Life, family and dating.
Speaker 1:Show eight years, life, family and relationships.
Speaker 2:What is the what?
Speaker 3:is when the round table you walk around, you date multiple people like what is that called um? Uh?
Speaker 2:Fast dating. What are we doing?
Speaker 1:Speed dating, speed dating I've never heard of that.
Speaker 3:It'll be. Don't Suck Life, family and Speed Dating with Madison, 24-year-old single out of college.
Speaker 1:Please don't let that happen, looking forward to that episode.
Speaker 3:Well, look, let's get into it. Week three, march 6th to the 8th we hosted Fairhope. Our friends Miss Addison Russell got the win 7. We hosted Fairhope Our friends Miss Addison Russell got the win 7-2. You went three for three with a single, a double and a home run and a home run, first one of the season.
Speaker 3:Finally knocking the rust off. Yes, woo-hoo, I was worried. I thought maybe she lost it, but I gave her some Wheaties that morning she finally got one. I think it was a deep center field too, yeah we'll have to post it so y'all can see. Yeah. So then we went to Harrison County, had a tournament up there or over there to the west of us in Mississippi. I ain't going to lie, I love my umpire friends. I umpired myself, but that was some home cooking over there, oh yeah it was tough, but that's part of it.
Speaker 3:But as a player, coach parents, I mean something you expect.
Speaker 1:I say coach parents I mean something you expect. Uh, I say home cooking.
Speaker 3:Maybe they're just having a bad day too, and that was a lot of people with a lot of bad days because, goodness, it was tough and a lot, and not just to say that it was always against us. We watched many games and it was just.
Speaker 1:It was just tough, I don't know and yeah, it was a lot of random calls not paying attention.
Speaker 3:You have to be fair and transparent here also, and it's early in the season for these umpires too. They're human. Yep, they're human. But y'all played St Patrick's. You got a win there 5-0. The only win of the weekend.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:You were 0-1 with two sacks. I like that. I mean, that's not a bad time. You went. Seven innings, mad dogs, zero runs, four walks Got to get those walks down. We're working, we're working, but again we could not get an outside corner and eight strikeouts.
Speaker 1:Not bad, not bad.
Speaker 3:Then you took a loss to East Central three to four. It was a pretty good ball game. You were over two with a sack fly and you got struck out one time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I remember that pitcher. She had a little I don't know if it was off-speed or just like a change, I'm not really sure what it was, but it was getting us because she didn't throw upper 60s or low 60s, it was mid-50s or so with this extra slow change up and it was throwing us off big time.
Speaker 3:Great delivery. I really like East Central.
Speaker 1:And it looked just like her fastball too, or her other pitches.
Speaker 3:If I lived in Mississippi, I'd want to go there.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I just kind of like the small town, Like we talked last week I think Beautiful stadium.
Speaker 1:Yeah, very nice field. I like how their coaches are.
Speaker 3:Great energy, then got a tough one. We had played Northwest Rankin, which I don't know where they're ranked at. I know they're way up there yeah.
Speaker 3:I know they got the night before that. They got beat by George County yeah, Several old teammates on that team but we lost to them 1-8. We couldn't get the job done, but something that I am proud of you for. You went three for three, two singles and a double. That double. It hung up for a while. Yeah, I thought it was gone with one RBI. It was the only run that come. I think we had four hits that ball game and mad, you had three of them. As a player, You're not supposed to focus on that, but as a parent someone who's trying to push my kid, you know it. For me, individual success. Sometimes you have to look at that too.
Speaker 1:So yeah, good game.
Speaker 3:And then we took a loss to Newton County 8-11,. You went seven innings. You gave up five earned runs, seven walks, six Ks.
Speaker 1:Now I will say that game about third inning, or so my finger ripped up again.
Speaker 3:It was bleeding. The new skin come off. There was blood everywhere.
Speaker 1:It was not really. The new skin wasn't helping, and so I was trying to push through it, because our other pitcher had pitched all the other games and they ended up hitting the ball. I think we had a few errors on the field and then you get in those innings.
Speaker 3:They got long.
Speaker 1:Errors made.
Speaker 3:Almost made a comeback.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we were in the lead at one point, I think.
Speaker 3:Well, and what it was is I was sitting in one spot and then I moved, and that kind of changed. No, I changed it because we were down and I changed it because one of the dads on the other team come and told me he said you should have moved sooner.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, then I must have put my bat and gloves on in the wrong order.
Speaker 3:I think it was me. I think, I did something wrong.
Speaker 1:I should have stayed where I was at the first time, maybe it.
Speaker 3:But five earned runs, seven walks, six Ks. Again, we've got to get the walks down.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Maybe your hand gets healed, We'll be doing better. So the week stats. Well, look at this Batting average of 538.
Speaker 1:My goal was 360.
Speaker 3:Well, that was for the week. Let's not get carried away. You had one strikeout, so that'll tally up. Your ERA for the weekend was 2.5. Not terrible, especially, I mean looking at who y'all played. It's some tough teams.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And then your strikeouts for the weekend was 14. Pretty good, 14 strikeouts Total for the season. Madison batting average y'all ready for this 4.13. Looking good so far. Yes, you got nine strikeouts. You are halfway are officially halfway to your goal.
Speaker 1:And we're only in the third week.
Speaker 3:We're only in the third week. But, as we said, we will highlight. We're not scared of it. Your ERA is sitting at 2.9. Plenty of room to come down and look at this stat.
Speaker 1:I don't know if I've ever seen Madison with this but strikeouts pitched 51. I did go back and look and I'm not sure if I have reached my goal Not my goal, the same amount I had last season at this point, or I might be over it. I'll have to go back and look.
Speaker 3:We'll have to look at that. We'll let you all know next week. Definitely proud of you. That's a heck of a season. So far the strikeouts pitch. You've never been that pitcher, so it's fun to see, I think, watching. We don't necessarily clock Madison. I don't know when the last time is. I've personally seen you get clocked, maybe a year or two ago.
Speaker 1:Yeah, a while.
Speaker 3:But I can definitely tell you've got a little bit more speed there. Your spin's been crazy. Your curveball's breaking. Hopefully soon we'll get that corner. Good Hope, your curveball is breaking. Hopefully soon we'll get that corner good. Hope so. And look, as a pitcher's parent, I'm supposed to be a little greedy.
Speaker 1:I want that corner, so bad, Even the one ball, two balls. We want it yeah.
Speaker 3:And I'm not behind the plate and I say this I joust at the umpires but I get a lot of respect for what they do. I mean, maybe some of y'all don't we'll see, we'll let y'all decide on that. But I don't mean no disrespect and that's another reason I talk about sitting in the right field. Sometimes I think that that plate's not good, but I don't want to put that on my kid. I don't want to be back there yelling at the umpire the entire weekend. I'm not saying I'm guilty or not guilty, but it's just not a good image for you, your kid or your program. So as parents, yeah, maybe they make some bad calls sometimes, but maybe we should just keep our mouth shut too. I don't know. You decide there.
Speaker 3:So a little look around the area. We got Bryant. Still a rough start for them. They're still trying to get going, and Coach Cal, I know he'll get it figured out. There's a lot of great players. I know a lot of great players. I know a lot of kids over there Love that team. And then MGM, one for one this weekend Still doesn't matter. We know they're in the mirror for us and I guess, in the windshield for us. They're ahead of us. We've got Bryant coming up this week. Yeah, and then who else do we have Faith, faith?
Speaker 1:And we've got the Tom Bigby tournament.
Speaker 3:Good, so we'll maybe get some redemption against Faith.
Speaker 1:Hope so.
Speaker 3:You know it was a tough loss to them last week and, Bryant, we're looking forward to seeing y'all too, Again. We know it's going to be a battle down there. I think we're going to their home too, aren't we?
Speaker 1:Yeah, so in their environment.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and that's a loud team. Both those teams, MGM Bryant, both super loud, Good energy. They know how to make a pitcher mad. Yeah, they do. So before we get out of here, we're going to end it with Cotton to Rundown. Claudia, what do you have for us this week?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I have some good, more personal stuff.
Speaker 3:This week Personal Kick that off Okay.
Speaker 2:Right. So should parents be their kid's friend, or is it important to maintain authority you want?
Speaker 3:me to start. Yeah, you want me to start.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Well, years ago I traveled for 12 years of Madison's life and I was on the phone with my wife one day Madison's in the back seat upsetting her, and she said when your dad gets home. And so I said hey, call me when you get her dropped off. And so we talked. I said please do not threaten me to do your punishing with her. She's only going to see me a weekend of the week and I don't want to be the guy that comes home and the bad guy and always kind of the one you wish wasn't there. And so for me it's always been. I have been more of a friend to Madison, but I think Madison knows where the line is with me.
Speaker 1:Definitely.
Speaker 3:Yeah, what do you think?
Speaker 1:but I think Madison knows where the line is with me, definitely, yeah. What do you think? Yeah, I think that you're like you and mom are like my best friends, but there is a really bold line and I know not to cross it. Yeah, so do you feel like you view him more as a friend or as an authority figure A friend, I may have to change this up.
Speaker 1:But I wouldn't treat you like you're my friend. I wouldn't talk to you like you're my friend and I wouldn't act. Not that I treat my friends bad or nothing, but I wouldn't act any way towards you. That wouldn't be like you're not my dad. Yeah, and I think Madison's temperament's really good.
Speaker 3:I wouldn't act any way towards you. That wouldn't be like you're not my dad. Yeah, and I think Madison's temperament's really good. So there's definitely we have a very open relationship. There's nothing that we ever really keep hidden in this house. I mean, obviously we got our secrets. I'm sure she better not have a boyfriend already, but that'll ruin up the dating podcast. But yeah, I think we are a pretty open family here.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, all right. Do you think parents should share all their mistakes with their kids? Yes, I disagree.
Speaker 1:You've shared a lot of your mistakes with me. I'll tell you why.
Speaker 3:I think it comes in stages, but yeah, I think for me it was always. Always I would rather tell her before someone else does. And I'm not necessarily proud of my past and anybody who knows me before I had kids. I wasn't the best person. I mean, I made a lot of mistakes. I won't share them all here. I would not have a problem sharing with anyone that listens to this if they ask me, but not have a problem sharing with anyone that listens to this if they ask me. But I've never.
Speaker 3:Well, I probably shouldn't say this, but look at me here. I'm 19, not married, and I have a kid on the way, which was miss madison, and I've told her this before and this probably is not the way to word this, but madison is my greatest mistake I've ever had. Yeah, people told me what You're having a kid. You don't realize how big of a deal this is. Yeah, I for one didn't realize how big of a deal it was, but, gosh, I'm so happy that I made this mistake. Nobody wants their kid to have a kid at 19. Unless it's me, right?
Speaker 1:No, no, not me having a kid, but you having me.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but to that is. I grew up quick, I went and got a job. I didn't sit around, you know, and hope my parents would take care of my kid. It was on us and we made that decision and so, yeah, I have shared a lot of mistakes with Madison.
Speaker 2:Claudia why do?
Speaker 1:you disagree shared a lot of mistakes with.
Speaker 2:Madison, claudia, why do you disagree? I just feel like, okay, growing up I'm always like, oh well, you did this, why can't I do it? So I just feel like, if you share too many, like I kind of got, I'll be honest, I got bratty when I was a teenager and I'd be like, oh well, I want to go to this party or I want to do this or that, you know, and I'd be like, well, you did it when you were my age, and so there's just I just I just don't think that every mistake should be shared with your kids, just because there's that comparison of, oh well, I look up to you, you did this, so I can do it. So, and then also, yeah, but I do. I do agree that some mistakes definitely should be shared with your kids. I feel like it's a good learning experience for them as well, as long as you put it in the sense of, hey, if I could go back, I'd probably change this, but I learned from it the hard way.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I really like that. That's not what I thought and I've never been faced with that with Madison.
Speaker 1:I kind of take some things that you tell me and stuff that you've done, and not necessarily in a way that if I did that it would scare me, but I think of it as well. I'm probably not going to do that because I don't want nothing like that to happen to me. You know what I mean.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and that's one thing too. Well, first of all, any advice we give, take that with a grain of salt. I'm not trying to tell anybody what to do with a kid.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I do respect what you just said, because I didn't think of it in that aspect. But I haven't hit that road and honestly I think I would be able to handle that if the conversation come up. And you know, I didn't have strong, not parenting. I didn't have a lot of restrictions as a kid, yeah, and so I did experiment with things and tried things, or tried many things. But for Madison I've always said, hey, look what happened. Like I had dreams too, you know. And I've told Madison also with any talk hey, you want to do something stupid, let's wait till we're 25. Let's keep chasing this dream, let's get out of college and I'll do something stupid with you. But this ain't the time or place. Like your focus has been, softball kind of comes back. I'm gonna hold you to that standard.
Speaker 2:So well, yeah, and and another thing on that is is it's fine to share your mistakes, but I feel like you really need to share the outcome of your mistake, like your kid needs to know. This is what happened to me when I chose and when I decided to do this. That way, they can more, so turn it into a learning lesson for them, and not them just go back and say oh well, my dad was telling me that he went to a party, so I want to go to a party.
Speaker 3:You know, so there's just a fine line with that. Yeah, and I'll, before we're done, I'll clear that up too, so good all right.
Speaker 2:Why do parents feel the need to share their past mistakes?
Speaker 3:You want me to go again. I feel like this is all, dad you are the parent. Yeah, well, I feel like I'm talking like you now.
Speaker 1:What the like?
Speaker 3:I feel like the reason that I share so much with Madison is because I one don't want to make the same mistakes and two kind of what Claudia just said. You need to tell me the outcome, like what happened, from that mistake. I do that. There's no secrets here. I'm telling you. When I tell Madison a mistake, the only thing that I told her now that turned out good was me having her at 19. But what happened? Having a kid at 19 years old, I quit playing ball, I quit having friends. I had to go to work. Yeah, kid at 19 years old I quit playing ball, I quit having friends, I had to go to work.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so your life will change. I'm. It was perfect for me, but that's not your dream. Yeah, so is it about uh, teaching lessons, building trust or preventing kids from repeating mistakes?
Speaker 3:all three, yeah I mean preventing lesson, or what was it?
Speaker 2:teaching lessons, building trust or preventing kids from you know teaching lessons like.
Speaker 3:Here's what happened, you know building trust, mad or preventing kids from repeating themselves.
Speaker 1:Teaching lessons. Here's what happened Building trust, Madison, this is who I am and I feel like with the building trust thing, you're telling me this is what I did when I was younger. I messed up doing this and it makes me feel better to be like, hey, guess what happened. To tell you stuff too.
Speaker 3:And I'm in a different boat than probably most fathers. I've had a lot of difficult conversations with Madison. That probably things that even moms would probably skip out on. But but one reason is because I don't want her to be deceived or be lied to. I want her to understand every risk. I mean we've had tough conversations but then, when that conversation was over, a couple of days walk by, I said hey, you remember what I told you. You remember that conversation. You know why I told you that? Because I want you to know that you can trust me. I have opened up my heart. I've opened up everything that I have to offer you. I don't want my kids making the same mistakes as me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. And to go more into that, Do kids actually learn from their parents' past or do they have to make their own mistakes?
Speaker 3:I'll play this one too.
Speaker 2:I have a lot to say on this one as well.
Speaker 3:This is a two-part and I almost said I think I believe that both. I believe you can learn from your parents, but some kids are going to still try it Hard-headed and there's nothing. Look, being a parent sucks because your kid's out there making decisions that you hope to God, they don't make. But I do think that some of that does come from me telling you and you see, in the big picture, I think that's where I'm so open. You can kind of see the results of that. But then some of you are going to say, well, I'm going to figure it out myself. And then when you do, I'm gonna say look at you, dumb, dumb. I done told you, I done done it. You know, we used to say this, the big thing that says like I used to get my butt whooped for did something different. I didn't do that mistake again, I tried something new.
Speaker 2:So yeah, um, yeah, just to speak on that a little bit. Um, I was really hard-headed when I was a teenager and I'm hard-headed now. I'm still hard-headed, it's never, been away so, anyways, I was really hard-headed and if I could go back and like there's a few things, my dad said, hey, I probably wouldn't do that, and then I just did it anyways. But I mean, I just I was the type of person growing up that I just I had to learn from my own mistakes and I think every kid's different.
Speaker 3:I mean, yeah, they are. This is. This is not every kid.
Speaker 2:This is definitely every other kid just speaking for my yeah, my experience but he is hard-headed, madison, you, you're not.
Speaker 1:I don't know if that's a compliment.
Speaker 2:But also I feel like you have to have a really great relationship with your kid. Like, say, you know me and my dad didn't have the greatest relationship so I always questioned what he was telling me. So if you don't have that good relationship with your parent, you're not going to believe truthfully what they're telling you. So yeah, All right. Moving on, should certain mistakes be shared at different stages of a child's life?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean I didn't tell Madison at six years old that you know about mistakes I was making at 16.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but now when we went and had our big conversation. You know questions that parents have to have with their kids. Hopefully they do. I hear people now that I that I didn't grow up with a with a parent giving me the, the rundown of the birds and the bees, but when that, when that come to it, I told him. I said, hey, we're not going to stop there. No-transcript.
Speaker 3:I'm going into this saying that, if you do, here's how we're going to get out of it. Let's talk about it, let's figure it out together. You know, that's one thing. And if we get off topic, a little decision. But she calls me and says Dad, I'm at this house, my friends want to go here, but we can't drive and I'm scared. Okay, I'm coming, I'm picking you up and look, there's no repercussions from that. Thank you for using your brain. You know what, if my outcome there was? Madison knows that if she calls me, I'm going to tear her up, I'm going to take her car away. I'm not going to talk to her for a month. She can't leave the house. She probably isn't going to call me. So I'd rather have my kid here tomorrow and not somebody else knocking on my door.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. Could sharing too much make kids lose respect for their parents?
Speaker 3:Tough much make kids lose respect for their parents. Tough, you know.
Speaker 3:Probably I this one's tough because if I waited till madison was 18 to tell her probably so yeah if, if madison was 18 and I went her entire life acting as if I was a saint and that she couldn't live up to the you know what I put on her? I mean because most decisions, even softball, we're putting this pressure on the kids because of what we want for them. So if I waited till Madison was 18 to say, hey, look what I did, she what, like I didn't know this about you. Because now, actually, I'll tell you a short story about this. I was coaching. I had a kid uh, allie Dombrowski, love this kid.
Speaker 3:They come to our camper one night and it was adults hanging out and I think I might've had one alcoholic beverage or something. And the mom got into the vehicle that night. They were driving to their hotel and she said, mom, she said Allie was quiet the whole time. They were in the car, red light. She said, hey, mom, yeah, did you know, coach, ron drinks. I mean, yeah, he's an adult, but that was the image that this kid had of me. It really made me start thinking about how I should be in front of kids. You know, these kids look up to you and so if you're sitting out here portraying something that you aren't or that you wasn't, and they find out the truth. It's a ballgame for you, yeah for sure they start questioning everything.
Speaker 3:Allie, I love you, kid.
Speaker 1:We miss you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, could revealing past mistakes make bad behavior seem acceptable or even encouraged?
Speaker 3:Well, that was kind of what you just covered on.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I guess. So I didn't think about that, claudia. But thank you for that. You're welcome. Yeah, I mean, it's something to think about. I hope not, madison. I really don't.
Speaker 2:On the flip side, does hiding mistakes create an unrealistic image of perfection that kids can't live up to Again? You just touched on that Does the type of mistake matter, minor versus serious?
Speaker 1:Like that they're sharing.
Speaker 3:I think, share what you want to with your kid. I'm gonna, I'm going to choose to tell madison everything that I've got to tell her yeah, can sharing mistakes make kids feel closer to their parents, knowing they're human?
Speaker 2:yeah, I think so probably so I would say so too, I hope I hope and does it open the door for kids to be more honest about their own struggles?
Speaker 3:And there's the big one right there.
Speaker 2:That's the kicker.
Speaker 3:Please, that's what I want to hear. Madison, I've screwed up. I've told you that. Please, if you're in that situation, let's talk about it. You know these kids are juggling. Thank you, hey, telepathy, yeah right, these kids are struggling with, or juggling with, so many things peer pressures, high schools, trying to fit in. What if I could be there to help you?
Speaker 3:You know, what if you do make a bad mistake? And you know you look at some of these things going on right now. There's kids out there girl parents read the news that are are really hurting themselves because they have nobody to talk to. So I hope that that door is open for madison. I hope it's open for your kids also. Whether you see the see parenting the way that I do, I hope that when your kids are going through something really really tough, that they feel they can come home and talk to you about it 100%.
Speaker 2:I'll speak on my experience a little bit. My mom was a lot more reserved with me growing up so I probably would have went to my dad before I went to my mom about like certain struggles or anything going on. But my dad was more open to talk about certain things like that, so I definitely would have went to him if something were to happen.
Speaker 3:Well, look, where's the line with you? I mean, should parents be open about everything or are there some mistakes better left unsaid? You know, again, I'm I'm not perfect and I'm not even saying this is the key to how to how to how to raise kids. I do question sometimes when it comes to parenting am I making the right decisions? I used to think all the time when will I hit the age where I start making parent decisions or adult decisions? We're all growing. We're all learning. Open the page up. If there's something you've got to comment on, shoot me something and let us hear Again. If there's a kid out there you want to highlight, please send us something in. We'd love to do that. We've got some big things planned here in the future that I think you all are going to be really excited about. Another great episode.
Speaker 2:Yes, and any questions that you all have that you all would like to hear us answer, please send them in.
Speaker 1:You can find us on Instagram, facebook, tiktok.
Speaker 3:Twitter, all the things. Email Don't Suck. Lfs Podcast at Yahoocom. Looking forward to it, week three out of the way, mad cloudy, y'all have anything Don't suck. There we go real loud.