DEAN AND DAWES: Welcome to Season 2, Just Us!

Hosted by: Jackie Dawes and Timothy “Dean” Gager

To appear on the podcast, buy an advertisement or give listener feedback to email thetwodeans@gmail.com or deananddawespodcast@gmail.com Join the Facebook Group: Fans or Listeners of Dean and Dawes or Text Us through the app you listen to the podcast from

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Show notes

1)- Season 2

2) Why We Don’t Have Guests

3) Aspartame Daddies  Full Theme Song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpvjes_W684&list=RDzpvjes_W684&start_radio=1

4) Listener Feedback

5) Wacky Racers: Penelope Pitstop and Dick Dastardly

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7dwP2oCtSk 

5) APP TIME-“Auction App”

Jackie Dawes is a Teacher, writer, ADHD survivor, Imposter …somewhere Ms. Kursman is laughing hysterically.

Timothy “Dean” Gager has published 20 books of fiction and poetry, which includes his latest novel, The Shadows of the Seen, forthcoming with Pierian Springs Press in 2025. He hosted the successful Dire Literary Series in Cambridge, MA from 2001 to 2018, and started a weekly virtual series in 2020. He has had over 1000 works of fiction and poetry published, 18 nominations for the Pushcart Prize. His work also has been nominated twice for a Massachusetts Book Award, The Best of the Web, The Best Small Fictions Anthology and has been read on National Public Radio. 

 The 2 Deans produced by Timothy Gager

Theme song and App Time Jingle written and performed by Delaware’s Aspartame Daddies

If you want MERCH. Dean and Dawes Sweatshirts ($45), and t-shirts ($30)

 The 2 Deans produced by The Oddball Foundation

Theme song and App Time Jingle written and performed by Delaware’s Aspartame Daddies

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Hey everyone, this is Brian O'Neill here in beautiful Florida Keys, and you're listening to the two Deans, Dating, Dread, and Disasters. What I really want to ask you all is when's the last time you had a date in this town?

SPEAKER_00 0:11

The following podcast are the opinions and satire of Dean.

SPEAKER_03 0:16

And Dean. And maybe some truth.

SPEAKER_00 0:19

And in no way represents the opinions. And lack of satire of anyone else but ourselves.

SPEAKER_03 0:26

But the people might be true. The story you're about to hear is true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent. We're ready, and hey, welcome. This is episode 51. Season two, episode one.

SPEAKER_01 1:06

Season two, episode one.

SPEAKER_03 1:08

Are we doing season two? And it's just us, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:11

Oh, look at us. We're just hanging out.

SPEAKER_03 1:14

Yeah, we're celebrating the season. Just as the first episode of season one was just the host, was just me and Dean. Here we are. It's just me and Dawes.

SPEAKER_01 1:23

It's it's the it's an it'll be an anniversary thing. The first of the next season. We will always just be us and review. Maybe a year and review. No, we don't need to do a year and review.

SPEAKER_03 1:34

Well, you were you were thinking that we weren't even gonna meet.

SPEAKER_01 1:37

No, I thought that was gonna be Tuesday. I had the whole thing wrong in my head. So I'm I'm I'm happy to be here. Look how spontaneous I am. Boom, boom. I handled that transition perfectly.

SPEAKER_03 1:47

We have plenty to talk about.

SPEAKER_01 1:49

Alright. What would you like to discuss first?

SPEAKER_03 1:51

Let's talk about why we don't have guests tonight.

SPEAKER_01 1:56

Why are people flaky? Okay, go ahead. Let me hear it.

SPEAKER_03 1:59

Alright, so we we were supposed to have this guest last week and this week, and they canceled twice. And the author of a book that I won't plug until she's on the show.

SPEAKER_01 2:08

No plug for you.

SPEAKER_03 2:09

And they even have a scheduler, and they still couldn't schedule it two weeks in a row.

SPEAKER_01 2:15

I think that hurts my feelings.

SPEAKER_03 2:17

I think that's just like it's like having like uh a practologist and you still have a bad butt, you know?

SPEAKER_01 2:24

No, I would not know that. I don't have one of those, so yeah, so like uh they cancelled twice.

SPEAKER_03 2:34

The first time is because, all right, so they're in another part of the world, and they would be they'd be recording at 7.30 in the morning. And so last week it was I we had something else to do that I forgot about. At 7 30 in the morning, what what what appearances, other appearances are you making at 7 30 in the morning?

SPEAKER_01 2:54

Well, maybe they go to work, maybe they have an actual regular job too.

SPEAKER_03 2:57

Oh no, no, they're they're making millions in the book industry.

SPEAKER_01 3:01

They're making millions in the book industry, then I guess that's okay. Hey, that's why they're canceling on us twice. They're too busy making millions.

SPEAKER_03 3:08

You know how lucrative books are.

SPEAKER_01 3:10

No, I kind of didn't know that, but I'm glad to know. Good to know. So it's 7 30 in the morning, they're up signing copies.

SPEAKER_03 3:19

Yeah, I think so.

SPEAKER_01 3:22

I mean, we're I don't know if we should be going around telling other people that we got dissed. I don't think it's good for our look. It's not a good look for us.

SPEAKER_03 3:30

I think it's a funny look because like we want our guests to commit. We're committed. I mean, she said she had a cold this time, and like, you know, when I recorded it, I was in Philadelphia, I was traveling and I was sick as a dog. I didn't even know where the cough button was.

SPEAKER_01 3:45

I was coughing. That's true, you were coughing quite a bit. But here's the thing this is your show, and you are committed to it. This person is not, and I think I think instead of like dogging them or like giving them crap for it, because a lot of people get flaky, they get nervous, like, what will I say, right? I it's a scary, it's embarrassing to share my story. But this person's an author, so they're just flaking on us because they think they're too important to reason.

SPEAKER_03 4:11

And and you know, yeah, like that kind of hurts my feelings.

SPEAKER_01 4:13

I don't think we should be talking about it on the show.

SPEAKER_03 4:15

We're committed to our show because it's our show, but you know what? Tonight I got something better to do. I really would like to watch um, you know, par the new episode of Paradise. You know, I'm busy.

SPEAKER_01 4:25

You're busy tonight. You're gonna go watch Paradise. We're hanging up on the show. You're hanging up right now.

SPEAKER_03 4:30

I'm hanging up right now.

SPEAKER_01 4:31

I didn't even think we were going to it tonight. So I'm excited. Let's see what else we're gonna talk about. Something good. I don't want to talk about this author. And I'm gonna have to work to be nice to them.

SPEAKER_03 4:40

So, all right, so two people were not available, so that was that r ruined everything because I didn't have time to find somebody.

SPEAKER_01 4:45

I would have found somebody for us.

SPEAKER_03 4:46

I just yeah, the author canceled the day of, so I was scrambling. And then there was someone that I had dated last spring who had a funny story.

SPEAKER_01 4:56

One of our exes, okay.

SPEAKER_03 4:58

Yeah, we have a whole ex theme, and I just begged them. Uh so I out of the blue, I hadn't actually messaged or texted or spoken to that person since last July. It was right around the time of my leg injury, and I didn't think I was physically fit enough to date, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_01 5:16

Well, no, but okay. I mean, if you're feeling low, you don't want to leave the house, right?

SPEAKER_03 5:21

Well, I was feeling a little low, but also like you know, like you're dating someone new and it's might develop into a physical relationship. I don't want to be like, oh, I've got a I've gotta I can't physically do it because of my leg. I mean, they don't have Viagra for hamstring injuries.

SPEAKER_01 5:37

Yeah, but I I I don't that's presumptuous that you would even get to like, okay, I'm not gonna date them because I won't be able to have sex with them tonight, and I don't want to tell them that. Is that what you're saying?

SPEAKER_03 5:50

It sounds that way, but it sounds like there is there are these rules and these levels that ask you to do.

SPEAKER_01 5:59

So you think you're gonna be unsexy just in case it got to that, and you'd be like, dude, can't tonight because my leg.

SPEAKER_03 6:05

Like it's actually. I think it would be, I think I'd be physically unable to perform.

SPEAKER_01 6:09

Well, I wouldn't say you had hamstring surgery, so that would be okay. I mean, actually, there's technically you could work around that, but not with a new person. And I don't, I don't know that, but I think it's presumptuous to for you to say, okay, I'm not gonna go on a date with them because I'm not sex ready. Because that's not a date, right?

SPEAKER_03 6:28

Well, no, it was after a few dates.

SPEAKER_01 6:30

Oh, I see. This was ready.

SPEAKER_03 6:32

You have to What is that? Is that you or me?

SPEAKER_01 6:36

That's not me.

SPEAKER_03 6:40

Wow, alright. That was uh Salon!

SPEAKER_01 6:43

Salom sorry.

SPEAKER_03 6:45

Yeah, that was weird. So like that that was a weird rendition.

SPEAKER_01 6:48

I've never heard that before.

SPEAKER_03 6:49

That was not the aspartame daddy's telling me I was so lonely, no.

SPEAKER_01 6:54

No, and it wasn't the police.

SPEAKER_03 6:56

Okay, wait, so No, it was not presumptuous.

SPEAKER_01 6:59

So wait a minute. I I'm gonna wait. I I need to understand this. So you had gone on a few dates, so you were heading into date number three, where you probably do kind of start negotiating.

SPEAKER_03 7:09

More more than more than date number three. We both knew it was gonna probably get that way.

SPEAKER_01 7:17

We sort of discussed I think that person would be completely understanding of your hamstring surgery. I'm pretty sure they would be. So did you break up with them or stop dating them?

SPEAKER_03 7:27

Because you No, we both we both sort of stopped messaging each other, and I don't know. It was, I guess, mutual decision. But anyway, I texted them to be on the show because they had a great story, and I was begging them, and we we caught up a little bit, but I asked them like an hour ago, and they said it's a little bit of a short notice.

SPEAKER_01 7:46

Well, that is a bit of a short notice. We're gonna have to forgive that person, and we'll have to hold on. I was gonna say, what's their great story? But I don't want you to ruin it for us. So we'll wait on that as well. Are they gonna come back? I asked them.

SPEAKER_03 7:57

We'll see. I'll I'll say, look, uh, maybe if you want to, that'd be great. And uh and I also had a nice weekend with uh my my regular gal and uh regular gal. The regular gal I'm in I'm in the the the the you know semi-open sort of open relationship with and it's it is open relationship, but you know, there's still feelings and hurt feelings, so it's it's open relationship with strings attached, apparently.

SPEAKER_01 8:24

It's like an open, closed, open relationship. Open closed like an open but uh a revolving door relationship?

SPEAKER_03 8:33

No, yeah, I mean that would be No, I just know that like I'm I'm I mean I'm kind of geared for monogamous relationships.

SPEAKER_02 8:41

Alright.

SPEAKER_03 8:41

But like I'm I'm learning. But anyway, so we're I was like, you know, we can go to this concert on Saturday night, or there's this reading on Saturday night, and she was like, No, I just want to stay inside with you.

SPEAKER_01 8:53

So I was like, okay, that's oh, that's romantic. That's so cute.

SPEAKER_03 8:58

Yeah, and then we hung out, we watched uh, well, we did some stuff, and we watched the the uh 112363 series for a bit, and then we needed to get out of the house because you know, and we decided to get ice cream and we went bowling.

SPEAKER_01 9:14

That's so cute. It was fun. I don't remember the last time I went bowling. Okay, wait, back up, hold on. So you're geared towards monogamy, but this person is simply they're just kind of not, and they were already in things prior to your involvement. Okay. That makes sense. And so if you were to say, but I think I'm geared towards monogamy, would that push the relationship over the cliff? No. It wouldn't it wouldn't work or it would work?

SPEAKER_03 9:47

It wouldn't push, she wouldn't be pushed away if I said that. No.

SPEAKER_01 9:52

She would say, okay, I'm dropping everybody else and I'm gonna just be monogamous.

SPEAKER_03 9:55

No, no, no, I wouldn't do it as an ultimatum. I would just be like, I'm geared to monogamy. Uh the I mean that person is free to do what they want. It's up to me to either accept the situation or not accept the situation.

SPEAKER_01 10:06

True, but if you say I don't accept the situation, do you think she would consider saying, well, you know what? I I would rather I would like to be in a monogamous relationship with you.

SPEAKER_03 10:18

Yeah, she would never say that.

SPEAKER_01 10:20

Why? Why would you say that? I don't understand. How do you know? She spent the whole weekend with you.

SPEAKER_03 10:26

I know it's it's complicated because it involves other people's feelings and other living situations, even. So yeah. And I don't have and I don't have that expectation, so you know it's it's good. It's good for what it is. I'm I'm I'm enjoying myself.

SPEAKER_01 10:43

It sounds very romantic.

SPEAKER_03 10:45

Yes. Um other things to talk about.

SPEAKER_01 10:49

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 10:50

Um, our show theme and um app time music makers, the aspertane daddies, just played a live show a couple the on uh the 26th. So uh a couple weeks ago, but I wanted to give them a plug.

SPEAKER_01 11:08

Give them a plug, and do they play our song? Do they play our theme song?

SPEAKER_03 11:11

It's one of their hits.

SPEAKER_01 11:13

Woohoo! Okay, then I guess they did.

SPEAKER_03 11:15

I hope they maybe give us a plug.

SPEAKER_01 11:18

They should say it's the Dean and Doc's Dawes song. No, yeah. It is.

SPEAKER_03 11:22

And speaking of plugs, right? So do you remember two weeks ago when I said my we were talking about how life is difficult? Uh I was talking about that with my fabulous, fabulous physical therapist.

SPEAKER_01 11:34

I do think I remember part of this. Yes. I also remember being in physical therapy and somebody was singing a song, and everyone thought it was same, same place. Okay, all right, go ahead.

SPEAKER_03 11:43

Because I've been in physical therapy because of this hamstring forever, but um, so I uh and I threw a little, you know, I was thinking, hey, I went to physical therapy last week and I said, hey, I mentioned you on the show. Just so we can get a download from her.

SPEAKER_01 12:02

Okay, so we're gonna start talking about we've gotta stop it. We are not a desperate, we are a good podcast. Lots of people listen to us, and we are not gonna do this anymore.

SPEAKER_03 12:09

Well, no, she said she was honored, which is a very polite way to be like, it's very polite.

SPEAKER_01 12:15

Oh no. We're not going to beg people to be on the show, and we're not gonna we're not gonna trick them into downloading it. No.

SPEAKER_03 12:22

No, we're not gonna manipulate anybody.

SPEAKER_01 12:23

But but we're going to express ourselves.

SPEAKER_03 12:26

It's very weird we've both begged and manipulated someone.

SPEAKER_01 12:29

I have to say, your my favorite line from listening to earlier today was no, I didn't manipulate anybody, Jackie. I just I just expressed myself.

SPEAKER_03 12:37

I just told people I just spoke my channel.

SPEAKER_01 12:40

I didn't manipulate. I like that. I'm gonna use that for something. I don't know what yet, but I'm going to. I wasn't manipulating.

SPEAKER_03 12:47

And like I I also would like to maybe change the name of the show.

SPEAKER_01 12:52

Ooh, what are we gonna call it?

SPEAKER_03 12:55

Well, I did my taxes today, and you know, be and I already did like because of my financial stuff, I have to do estimated taxes paid. And I got a really like I got like a$5,000 like uh refund? Refund.

SPEAKER_01 13:12

So I think Oh, look at you.

SPEAKER_03 13:15

So yeah, so we're gonna rename the show like Sugar Daddy and Dawes.

SPEAKER_01 13:19

Oh no, no, we're no we're not.

SPEAKER_03 13:23

I think Sugar Daddy and Dawes.

SPEAKER_01 13:26

But who are you the Sugar Daddy for?

SPEAKER_03 13:27

Who nobody, but like it might get listeners.

SPEAKER_01 13:31

You just think it's gonna be a good name for the show, Sugar Daddy and Dawes? I think that's um like sugar bear.

SPEAKER_03 13:38

It could be like a real 70s something.

SPEAKER_01 13:40

Super sugar. Oh my gosh. I don't I think we might want to reconsider this one. I don't I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 13:47

Or Dean Dean and Sugar.

SPEAKER_01 13:49

No. What? That makes me No, I'm not sugar. I'm not doing that.

SPEAKER_03 13:57

Sugar Daddy Dog.

SPEAKER_01 13:58

This is not happening. Not happening. I mean, I'm not attached to Dawes. It's my married my married name, and I'm divorced, but so I don't I don't particularly care about that.

SPEAKER_03 14:06

But I I I I think Well, can we do an alliteration with it with the uh your name?

SPEAKER_01 14:12

How so?

SPEAKER_03 14:13

Well, if you don't want to go Dawes, like we can be um Dean and DeLuca. No, what is now what is your what is your non-married, what is your name?

SPEAKER_01 14:23

My maiden name? Oh, my maiden name's so boring. It's so boring. And besides, we should be saying our well, I guess it doesn't matter. Use you don't use your real name.

SPEAKER_03 14:31

Yes, I do.

SPEAKER_01 14:32

You do? Yes, Dean is not your name.

SPEAKER_03 14:35

It's right in the show notes.

SPEAKER_01 14:37

Oh like it's not your name.

SPEAKER_03 14:41

Even if we don't read the show notes.

SPEAKER_01 14:42

No, I I should read the show notes. I should be better about a lot of things. Um, my last name is Richards, and so it's not that exciting. It's so boring.

SPEAKER_03 14:50

See, I could be dick. I could be dick and Richards.

SPEAKER_01 14:55

Oh no.

SPEAKER_03 14:56

Or uh, what's an R word?

SPEAKER_01 14:59

Riddle.

SPEAKER_03 15:00

Riddle me Richards.

SPEAKER_01 15:02

Ride roller coaster, rocket, run.

unknown 15:06

I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 15:07

Any of these have run. That's the only one. Yeah, that could be like the one that's with dating, like run.

SPEAKER_01 15:13

No, I don't like any of these things. I think we have to stick with dating disasters and then And Dean and Dawes. And Dean and Dawes is kind of just works.

SPEAKER_03 15:20

Otherwise, it rolls off the tongue.

SPEAKER_01 15:23

It doesn't maybe, yeah. Dean and Dawes. Dating disasters with Dean and Dawes. I like it. It's good. It works. We're good. We just need, we just need to get a little bit tighter on our our show nights. Show we need to be more organized with our guests. We have to get organized. We're sad.

SPEAKER_03 15:39

Also, uh-oh.

SPEAKER_01 15:41

New things.

SPEAKER_03 15:41

Going back to season one.

SPEAKER_01 15:44

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 15:45

People listen to season one. We can give the listener feedback here on our first episode of season two.

SPEAKER_01 15:51

Did we get feedback? Or do we have listener feedback this week?

SPEAKER_03 15:54

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 15:57

Okay, let's hear it. Is it good or bad?

SPEAKER_03 15:59

Um, well, uh. This person had two, had two bits of feedback because they knew me personally.

SPEAKER_01 16:07

I like the way I like two bits. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_03 16:10

The first the first one was um, yeah, he wants all of my exes to come on. He said he would even contact them for me.

SPEAKER_01 16:21

I think it would be funny. It would be a good time. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 16:25

He was like, Do you want me to he goes, do you want me to contact the one that I photoshopped out of my wedding pictures?

SPEAKER_01 16:32

Oh shit. Yes, yes, we do. If you're still listening, do it. Schedule them in, give us a date, we'll make it happen.

SPEAKER_03 16:42

And the second one was kind of a dig. He was like, he said he laughed out loud when I told the story about um the person um I had to lie about in uh for AWP in Baltimore that you know, my friend, and uh and I said, like, oh, uh she's married. Like, why I wouldn't do it. And he laughed out loud because he knows that in the past people were still legally married when I dated them. In fact, the whole bunch of historically, they weren't this it wasn't like a cheating situation, but like I I went on this run of people that were still legally like.

SPEAKER_01 17:20

They were separated, they were getting divorced. I've been in that position myself. Um, but I don't remember the context of what he's laughing out loud about.

SPEAKER_03 17:29

Like Okay, we'll we'll we'll bring our list.

SPEAKER_01 17:32

Back up when you were in the conference.

SPEAKER_03 17:33

Yeah, the the person that wanted to stay over my friend because um it was.

SPEAKER_01 17:40

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. This person, this person, right, right, right.

SPEAKER_03 17:43

And her husband texted me, and I was kind of like, what the heck?

SPEAKER_01 17:48

Right, because you were not involved and you were not interested in this woman.

SPEAKER_03 17:51

And then and then she piled on giving me all the reasons why she would never even consider.

SPEAKER_01 17:57

Oh, that's right. She heard she was like, oh my god, that would never happen.

SPEAKER_03 18:01

Yeah. So yeah, so there's that. So there's that listener feedback.

SPEAKER_01 18:06

No, that's awful. That's the only listener feedback?

SPEAKER_03 18:09

No, no, no, no. We got listener feedback about um the thro the 333 rules of three, like uh evaluate your relationship after three years. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:20

We were both of us were like, huh, how does this work? Continue, yes.

SPEAKER_03 18:23

And the person is like, dear Dina Dawes, um, I think dating has too many rules. There's that, there's the three-day rule that you don't contact somebody. And and they're like, just go out and date. So how can we manipulate people if there aren't rules? Like the the whole three-day phone rule is a manipulation.

SPEAKER_01 18:48

I don't understand any of the rules of dating. I don't even follow the rules properly, so I I have no room to talk. But um, I get it. Yeah, just go out and date. I don't I think we're supposed to our whole thing is that dating is a disaster. It's icky and yucky, but we do it because everyone wants love.

SPEAKER_03 19:05

Yeah, I mean, yeah, even following the rules, like the the the cool woman in Baltimore, like after like I said goodnight, like a gentleman, I said goodnight, and like you know, I walked you didn't say a nightcap. So I walked up the street being like, oh, I just met this really cool person. And it wasn't until the next day when I was driving home when this light bulb went off.

SPEAKER_01 19:29

I said, I think she wanted me to ask to go inside with her. But I think isn't it her job to go, would you like to come in for a nightcap? I mean, that's so classic movie, right? I mean, that's what they say. Would you like to come in for some some nightcap or coffee? Or like I think they have to invite you in. But if they don't invite you in, then you put yourself in a position of risk to go, like they're gonna think.

SPEAKER_03 19:57

Yeah, I g I guess you need to put it out there, like, hey, I'm getting this vibe. Um, what uh you know, is it?

SPEAKER_02 20:05

I could be wrong. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:06

Could be wrong, but and you know, the whole thing was just, you know, either way, it's awkward because I think both people don't want to feel rejected. Like if I come and be like, hey, you know, um, and then they're like, no, that wasn't the vibe at all.

SPEAKER_01 20:25

Like, wait, so wait, did she have you let's think about it, you're out. Did you walk her to her hotel room door?

SPEAKER_03 20:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:33

Okay. And she was making it comfortable for you to do so, not like, dude, why are you still following me?

SPEAKER_03 20:39

I mean, she initiated You walking her to her room? Yes.

SPEAKER_01 20:45

Oh, maybe she did want you to take that risk. How will we ever know? How will we know?

SPEAKER_03 20:51

Maybe we can have her on the show.

SPEAKER_01 20:54

Do you well, I think it'd be like a disaster. After we've exposed her in this way, do you think she's going? Well, I hope she does.

SPEAKER_03 21:01

I met someone and he assumed that he was going home with me.

SPEAKER_01 21:04

And and then It would be kind of fun to have her on the show to be able to go, like, okay, did you want him to ask to come in here?

SPEAKER_03 21:11

That'd be fun for again if I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_01 21:13

But I really do think it's putting her, I think it's putting this poor woman on the spot. But I I don't know. If I if a guy walks me to my hotel room door and I do want to be.

SPEAKER_03 21:25

It's up to you, right? At that point to be like, come on in or don't come in, right?

SPEAKER_01 21:30

Yes, true, true. I wouldn't it would be presumptuous for them to be like, all right, I'm coming in. But like I I don't I don't know. If I just met them at a conference, because this is like you just met them, I think that it's quite like it's definitely got a little bit of a sexy moment into it, right? Like I'm meeting them at this conference, I might never see them again. They've walked me to my room.

SPEAKER_03 21:53

Yeah, it's the stuff we talked about a couple weeks ago, like the whole conference hookups.

SPEAKER_01 21:57

And I said, it could have been I wasn't here for a

SPEAKER_03 22:00

Conference hookup, so I guess I say true to my word. Being honest is okay.

SPEAKER_01 22:05

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 22:07

And boring.

SPEAKER_01 22:08

I don't know. Miss out on a really fun opportunity.

SPEAKER_03 22:11

I mean, I'm neurodivergent. I never know what people are thinking and what their intentions actually are. So I always have to awkwardly ask them.

SPEAKER_01 22:19

Hmm. Gotta lay it out there.

SPEAKER_03 22:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:22

And so she should have Right, okay, I get it. I'm neurodivergent, but I I and you're right. I don't I wouldn't have known. I I I was uncomfortable just by the idea that somebody would walk me to my hotel door. Like they walked out.

SPEAKER_03 22:35

Yeah, you are uncomfortable just hearing me tell my story here.

SPEAKER_01 22:38

Walks to the door with you. I'm like, you're in my space. You're in my space.

SPEAKER_03 22:43

It wasn't the door of the room inside the hotel. It was the door of the hotel outside the hotel.

SPEAKER_01 22:48

Oh, that's much better. Then you're just keeping her safe until she got to the hotel. That changes the whole thing. In my head, I'm watching you picture walking her to the Lido deck, right? Like on the cruise ship or something. I'm not. I I was in my head was somewhere completely different than just, oh, I walked her to her hotel. That was gallant. That's a nice thing to do.

SPEAKER_03 23:08

I mean, my intentions were just being a gentleman, period.

SPEAKER_01 23:11

All right. I think I think you're just gonna be able to do that.

SPEAKER_03 23:12

But on the way home, I was thinking, did was there something I missed?

SPEAKER_01 23:18

She might have, I think she would have told you if she wanted you to come up. I think she would have said, listen, uh, do you want to come upstairs or something? Because that would be that's a dangerous thing to do. Like she doesn't know you from anywhere. Like, you could be a serial killer. Do you know how many episodes of like forensic files we could make out of here?

SPEAKER_03 23:39

Yeah, I mean, I did have, I did have, I was carrying a rope in a bag because I'm telling you, No, no, it's not ha ha. Oh, to hang the banner at the book table. I had my I was walking around with my murder kit, basically.

SPEAKER_01 23:52

Yeah, okay, it's not subsidized, but it's closed. Yeah, I I don't know. I think that would have been I think she had a great time. I think she had a nice time because she had you walk her to the hotel, but I had a nice time, but like We gotta see if we get her on. What are we allowed to say her name on the show?

SPEAKER_03 24:06

No, not at all.

SPEAKER_01 24:08

Can we call her Penelope?

SPEAKER_03 24:10

Sure.

SPEAKER_01 24:11

Okay, so if Penelope wants to come on the show.

SPEAKER_03 24:13

Penelope Pit Stop.

SPEAKER_01 24:14

Yes, exactly. I love Penelope Pitstop. Did you watch how she ran? Broo!

SPEAKER_03 24:18

Somebody Google that so you're not thinking that we're using Pit Stop in the world.

SPEAKER_01 24:24

No, no, it's a cartoon from our childhood. Very funny.

SPEAKER_03 24:27

The wacky racers.

SPEAKER_01 24:28

She would run like the funniest run ever.

SPEAKER_03 24:30

So wait, there's Penelope Pit Stop and there's Dick Dastardly. Do you think there were double meanings there?

SPEAKER_01 24:37

Uh don't I didn't think about it. I was a child, so I don't know. At the time I had no thoughts that were inappropriate about it. Um But Dastardly, I think they're just going with alliteration.

SPEAKER_03 24:50

Alright, so are we ready for another listener feedback?

SPEAKER_01 24:54

Yeah, if you got it, let's hear it.

SPEAKER_03 24:57

When I did my R. Kelly joke.

SPEAKER_01 24:59

Ah, they knew it was wrong. They knew.

SPEAKER_03 25:01

No, no, they said it was okay because he's so far in the rear view mirror. On the other hand, we shouldn't make Jeffrey Epstein jokes.

SPEAKER_01 25:10

We shouldn't?

SPEAKER_03 25:11

No, because it's right, it's two in the front and center.

SPEAKER_01 25:14

Oh, do we make Jeffrey Epstein jokes?

SPEAKER_03 25:16

No, we didn't.

SPEAKER_01 25:17

Oh, okay. Like R.

SPEAKER_03 25:18

Kelly's onboard Jeffrey.

SPEAKER_01 25:21

Alright, so R. Kelly's allowed, even though I don't even want to give him or any of the others names. But the Epstein files, I'll talk about them all day.

SPEAKER_03 25:29

Oh, here's one.

SPEAKER_01 25:31

I don't think we'd be at war if we had them out here. Okay, go ahead.

SPEAKER_03 25:33

Here's one for you.

SPEAKER_01 25:35

Okay. Oh no. Is it gonna hurt my feelings? I can see from your face it is.

SPEAKER_03 25:39

No, I just think it's kind of funny what people pick up on, right?

SPEAKER_01 25:42

Oh shit. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_03 25:44

They said in the movie Harry met Sally.

SPEAKER_01 25:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:48

When they were doing Surre with a Fringe on Top song.

SPEAKER_01 25:52

They're correcting my Surrey with a Fringe on Top song.

SPEAKER_03 25:55

It had nothing to do with the wagon wheel table, because the wagon wheel table was a whole different scene.

SPEAKER_01 26:01

No, yeah, he was yes, true, but he was yelling and screaming. It's like, and one day you're gonna be sitting here arguing over this ugly what? You're gonna be singing Surrey with the fringe on top, and you're arguing over this who's gonna get this and that over the wagon wheel table. So, yes, it's correct. They are right.

SPEAKER_03 26:18

So you kind of messed up. I think you called it the wagon wheel song, and that just Well, to me, it will always be the wagon wheel song.

SPEAKER_01 26:24

I mean, it's from Oklahoma. They're talking about a wagon wheel table, and it's Surrey with a fringe on top. It's lovely. But they are right. I did, I did mix the scenes. True. 100%. They're right.

SPEAKER_03 26:35

Isn't that the guy from um Hootie and the Blowfish sang wagon wheel song?

SPEAKER_01 26:42

Oh Darius Rucker. Oh god, my ex-boyfriend. I have an ex-boyfriend that loves wagonwheel.

SPEAKER_03 26:46

Your ex-boyfriend is Darius Rucker?

SPEAKER_01 26:48

No, no, thank God, no. Um, no, um, he's much cuter than him. But there's a wagon wheel song. I don't think it was Darius Rucker that was singing it, though.

SPEAKER_03 26:56

Yeah, he was. He was a big one.

SPEAKER_01 26:58

No way. No, really?

SPEAKER_03 27:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:01

How's it go? How's it go? Sing it.

SPEAKER_03 27:03

Oh, geez. That's I'm drawing a blank. Um, I can put it on.

SPEAKER_01 27:08

I can hear it all the time, the wagon wheel song that I'm talking about. I just can't imagine that that he would be listening to Darius Rucker.

SPEAKER_03 27:14

He's not that doesn't seem like uh I I know the song. Hold on, everybody.

SPEAKER_01 27:20

Ba deep bada deep bada do.

SPEAKER_03 27:21

I'm gonna have to start with the Wagon Wheel, Darius Rucker. Here we go.

SPEAKER_01 27:25

Play it, let me hear it. I don't think it's the right song.

SPEAKER_03 27:28

Come on.

SPEAKER_01 27:37

I can't believe that Rob would be listening to this Darius Rucker. He loves that wagon wheel song.

SPEAKER_03 27:44

Yeah, so that's the wagon wheel song.

SPEAKER_01 27:45

He is an ex of mine. He will never be on this show. But he should be. It would be hilarious.

SPEAKER_03 27:50

Rockman Baby Light Away, you feel me? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no.

SPEAKER_01 27:53

I mean, he played it all the time in the Baby Rock.

SPEAKER_03 27:56

Oh, don't you hate it when uh your person you're dating plays the same song over and over again?

SPEAKER_01 28:02

Well, no, he's got I mean, i I I don't mind that song. He has really good taste in music. That's not an issue at all. I actually would I mean we the last time we hung out, we sang songs in the front yard for hours for my birthday. It was super duper fun. Um, so yeah, I don't have an issue with that. But I just can't believe Darius Rucker is the one that sang the song. I'm so blown by it. Um, yeah, whatever. We're losing listeners. We should talk about something more interesting.

SPEAKER_03 28:30

All right, we're about we're about done with the show here. So it's time for app time. I'm gonna give you three choices. So here we go.

SPEAKER_01 28:37

Oh, a new app time!

SPEAKER_03 28:40

Roughing baby like the wagon wheel! All right.

SPEAKER_01 28:49

Okay, let's go.

SPEAKER_03 28:50

I'll just give you the names of the apps and we'll describe them later. The first one is called Auction App. The second one is called Dating Dating App. And the third is no, the second one actually is called Date Dating App, sorry. And the fourth one is called On the Cheap.

SPEAKER_01 29:07

Wait, the third one. The third one's called On the Cheap.

SPEAKER_03 29:10

Let's rewind that because that is totally effed it up. The first app is called the Auction App. The second one is called the Date Dating App, and the third is called On the Cheap. Which one should we develop?

SPEAKER_01 29:22

I I I'm gonna go with auction. Let's go with door number one.

SPEAKER_03 29:26

So the auction app is basically people bid on the profiles. I don't know if it's gonna go to the highest bidder. But I like this.

SPEAKER_01 29:37

I like this.

SPEAKER_03 29:38

So you don't, in other words, the app is free, but you need to pay for your bids. In other words, you have to pay for your bids.

SPEAKER_01 29:47

And right, so if you wait, wait, let's see. So you want to match with a profile. So you match first, and then to be able to contact a no, you don't match at all. And so how does this work?

SPEAKER_03 29:59

So it works is the highest bidder gets a chance at the date, and if the person on the other end says no, they have to pay that money back. So say that, say that someone bids a hundred dollars for you, Jackie, to go out on a date and their profile's horrible, then then you have to pay them the hundred dollars back. You have to pay them back.

SPEAKER_01 30:22

No, this is a terrible app. Why would I pay somebody not to date them?

SPEAKER_03 30:26

Because they're horrible people. Maybe they're ugly.

SPEAKER_01 30:28

No, I would not then I would not match, and I would not date them.

SPEAKER_03 30:31

So that's how that's the that's how the app gets paid for, though, right?

SPEAKER_01 30:34

No, I I it's that's terrible though. Why would How would it I I don't know how this would why would I join this app? You've got to.

SPEAKER_03 30:42

Alright, so maybe maybe we'll cap it at$10. So if you had a bunch of ten dollar people to choose from.

SPEAKER_01 30:47

So I'm gonna pay ten dollars so they can't match with me.

SPEAKER_03 30:50

Pretty much, yeah. But I think it's I think it can be developed. This is the very early development stage.

SPEAKER_01 30:59

Okay, okay, all right. Um I'm I'm gonna go with this. I I like the I like the name, and I like the idea of somebody putting like a person up, you know, because didn't they used to there's always these shows where they're like we're auction off men for days with a picnic. Yeah, that's right. You're gonna I paid 40 pies for this picnic with this woman or whatever. I'm thinking of this.

SPEAKER_03 31:18

But they don't do yeah, they don't do that online. There's no app for that.

SPEAKER_01 31:22

So that you mean they don't auction human beings off online.

SPEAKER_03 31:26

Pieces of meat? Maybe we can big pies.

SPEAKER_01 31:31

There's so many no parts to this that we should not be talking about.

SPEAKER_03 31:34

There was that movie, there was that movie that they're like, I and an apple pie that I can. Yeah, no, no.

SPEAKER_01 31:39

I you you all uh uh uh you paid, there's like you'd auction off pies, and then there would be like a date with someone pie. Like there's you'd win a date with so and so, and on the date you'd go on a picnic, and here's the picnic basket, and here's what was in it. I remember all those things.

SPEAKER_03 31:52

And that was on Groundhog Day that happened on Groundhog Day movie, too.

SPEAKER_01 31:55

Did it really? I don't rem I just remember it used to be a subject of many a movie back in the day where, oh, they're gonna ma they're gonna auction off dates, and um the guy would walk. I I remember Kramer on Seinfeld they did this. On Seinfeld they did it. So there's no-walked down the aisle. And and and what's her name? Elaine was trying to describe him, and she's like, he has a high school education. I don't even think he had high school education or how she was saying it, but yeah, they used to do those types of things. I don't think they do them anymore.

SPEAKER_03 32:24

So they do it for charity, but but I think though, there's been no dating app that, as far as I know, that does that. So I think there's room for the floor.

SPEAKER_01 32:35

Well, I don't under I we're missing, there's a there's a bridge missing of how this is gonna work. Like I need to see the guy going, okay, who's gonna give me five dollars? Five dollars, I got five dollars, let me see six. Does anyone say six? Like like there's that the the competition of the auction, right? And they're holding the paddle up and you're putting the paddle up. So what how is this gonna work? We've got a team relevance of it.

SPEAKER_03 32:55

It will work like eBay.

SPEAKER_01 32:57

So it'll be like an eBay and you you're the product.

SPEAKER_03 33:00

Yeah. Hold on. I I I finally found the Shoresy t-shirt, sweatshirt on eBay, but I can bid on a date.

SPEAKER_01 33:11

Let me bid on a date with this person. And then everybody bids, and then the highest bidder is presented to the person, and if the person does not want to date them, they have to pay a a matching amount, they have to match the amount back to not date them.

SPEAKER_03 33:27

Well, yeah, well, if we cap it at$10, it won't be much.

SPEAKER_01 33:31

I I say it's tricky, but it's interesting. I'll give it that. It's the it's been it's the most interesting app we've had in a while, right? Like this is probably like the season two app time.

SPEAKER_03 33:42

It's app time versus.

SPEAKER_01 33:43

I hear myself talking in the background. I hope it's not like a reverb.

SPEAKER_03 33:46

No, I it's it's fun. Uh so to wrap up the show, to be a guest that doesn't cancel or make it.

SPEAKER_01 33:55

So you've gotta stop being so bitter about that.

SPEAKER_03 33:59

You can email us at the two deanstwo at gmail.com or Deanand's podcast at gmail.com. And that's right in the show notes to do it. And also, if you would like to purchase a month's worth of ad to be at the front of the show, email us too. We haven't had an ad in a while. It's very, very cheap, and you'll reach all of our download audience. Ta-da!

SPEAKER_01 34:26

It's fun. Woohoo! I like that. That's like fun.

SPEAKER_03 34:30

And we are downloads are increasing every week, so keep spreading the word, baby. Spread the word. Because we got our banner from Buzzspraut for 50. So that's fantastic.

SPEAKER_01 34:42

That's great. All right. Look at this moving up in the world.

SPEAKER_03 34:46

I posted on social media. I'm proud.

SPEAKER_01 34:49

I'm glad. I don't I don't I have to look it up and see what you're talking about, but I like it.

SPEAKER_03 34:53

All right. Anyway, thank you.

SPEAKER_01 34:57

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 34:57

No, well, we were wrapping up. So yeah, we're wrapping it up. What's the cut?

SPEAKER_01 35:01

Who did the song? Who did that song, Wrap It Up?

SPEAKER_03 35:04

Wrap it up. Oh, the Fabulous Thunderbird.

SPEAKER_01 35:06

Fabulous Thunderbirds! Woo! I like that too. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 35:09

Yeah, I want to sell the Fabulous Thunderbirds. I dubbed the Fabulous Thunderbirds, so I saw them in Philadelphia a long time ago, and their show was like some people love shows that go three and a half hours. So I just got a little bored, and like this place called uh JC Dobbs was up the street, and I was told my friend, like, okay, done with this concert. It's been three and a half hours, it's been great. Let's go to JC Dobbs and hear some different music.

SPEAKER_02 35:34

Right.

SPEAKER_03 35:35

So we go to JC Dobbs, and the band plays like two songs, and then suddenly, ladies and gentlemen, right from the Tower Theater, the Fabulous Thunderbirds are gonna do some songs at this little bar, and I'm like, ah!

SPEAKER_01 35:46

That is so cool though. You got to see them in a more intimate environment. That's amazing. I love it.

SPEAKER_03 35:50

Yeah, I expected to go home and take a shower, and the fabulous Thunderbirds would be coming out of the bathtub.

SPEAKER_01 35:55

I've been watching you for days now. I can hear it all in my head.

SPEAKER_03 35:59

Yeah, it's very Wahl. All right.

SPEAKER_01 36:04

I'll see you later.

SPEAKER_03 36:06

Bye. Bye.