Season 1. Episode 7 The Yes...And Podcast. You Have A Say!

In this episode, Claire talks about the importance of personal empowerment and decision-making in various aspects of life. She discusses how many people often feel they lack control over their lives due to societal expectations and the habit of people-pleasing. Claire encourages listeners to recognize their ability to make choices and assert their needs and desires, ultimately leading to greater happiness and fulfillment. Listen until the end where she shares a recent personal story about how embracing the idea of having a say can transform daily experiences and relationships.

Welcome to The Yes… And Podcast, where we explore what happens when you say yes to life, embrace your purpose, and step into your fullest potential.

Hosted by Claire Darr—former corporate lawyer turned executive coach, wife, mom, and passionate believer in intentional living—this podcast is your guide to creating a life you can’t wait to wake up for.

Each week, we’ll dive into inspiring stories and practical lessons, blending soulful conversations with actionable strategies to help you overcome self-imposed limits, find balance, and build a legacy of joy and fulfillment. From courageous entrepreneurs to everyday heroes, our guests share how they’ve said yes… and to faith, family, career, and the adventures of life.

Whether you’re a busy professional, a working mom, or someone feeling stuck or overwhelmed,The Yes… And Podcast is here to empower you with the tools, mindset, and inspiration to dream big and live boldly.

Life is too short to play small. It’s time to say yes to more—and discover the yes..and life you’ve been longing for.

Subscribe now and join the movement toward a life of peace, purpose, and boundless possibilities.

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Transcript

Claire Darr (00:03.16)

Today, I'm keeping it simple and short. You have a say. 

Claire Darr (00:13.452)

You have a say. Try that one emphasize. In your life, in your personal life, your professional life, your business, your career, with your family, with your health, with every single aspect of your life and what touches your life, you have a say. You have a say in what you do now, what you do next. 

Claire Darr (00:43.564)

what you do tomorrow, you have a say in the decisions you make, in the actions you take, in the people you're around, in how you show up, in the energy you bring, in the words that come out of your mouth, you have a say. 

Claire Darr (01:08.396)

And I heard that for the first time about a month ago and it really resonated with me. I mean, so much so I wrote it down. Clay, you have a say. I get to have a say. I do have a say. This is my life. I get to make the decisions for me in my life because last time I checked, I am a grownup. So many of us, I think, and I'm saying this because hand on heart, 

Claire Darr (01:37.814)

If I reflect back, I'm sure this is how I've lived. So many of us were taught as children that we didn't have a whole lot of control over our lives. And we went from being children in our parents' homes to having a little bit of freedom and then kind of told to rein it in a bit, to be sensible, to be cautious, to study, to get a good job, to be realistic. 

Claire Darr (02:07.928)

to pay the bills, to settle down, to, you know, all the things. At so many points in our lives, we've been told to do certain things that I think we kind of got it knocked out of us a bit that we actually have a say. We all know we have freedoms. We, I hope everyone listening to this lives in a place that is, that has freedoms that we tend to take for granted. But 

Claire Darr (02:38.36)

Do we actually use this freedom to our advantage? Do we let it serve us? Do we go about our life knowing that we have a say? I think sometimes we do and sometimes we forget. And I think it's easy to fall into a default of being in a life where other people have a say. 

Claire Darr (03:05.708)

I think any one of us could point to situations right now and probably in the not too distant past where other people were having a say and got to have the last word and got to have the ultimate say in when we showed up, what we did, who we were, what we brought. And for me and for a lot of my clients, I work with so many incredibly 

Claire Darr (03:35.096)

smart, ambitious, high achieving, high earning, amazing impact on this world people. So many of them are people pleasers. A lot of them know they are. A lot of them don't like it. A lot of them kind of laugh it off. A lot of them actually use it as a badge of honor. 

Claire Darr (04:04.558)

People pleasing has become the norm for a lot of people. Accepting that we don't get to decide that we have to just kind of put up and shut up to be polite or to be accepted or to be liked has become the norm for a lot of people. I know it was for me and I've always honestly been pretty outspoken, pretty confident, pretty... 

Claire Darr (04:35.766)

I got this compliment paid to me years ago at work by a co-worker, a male co-worker, and he said, you're really comfortable in your own skin. And I took it as a huge compliment. And I was like, well, yeah, of course I am. mean, who else's skin am I going to be comfortable in, right? Of course I am. It's not like I have to be like, to me, there was no alternative that I wouldn't be, right? And I know a lot of people don't feel that way and do a lot of great work to get there. And even me. 

Claire Darr (05:05.74)

being comfortable in my own skin, showing up confident in rooms of men, in difficult stressful situations, moving, I moved to America on my own with a couple of suitcases when I was in my early twenties without a job or really anywhere to live. And I was able to do all of that. And at the same time, I was a people pleaser. I wanted people to like me. 

Claire Darr (05:32.616)

I said yes to situations and things when I really wanted to say no. I agreed to do things when I didn't really want to and when I knew it wasn't going to serve me. And the privilege of getting older is you learn that and you learn that you don't need the approval of other people. You don't need to sacrifice your happiness and your fulfillment and what you want in life for other people. And I think a lot of us, as we get 

Claire Darr (06:02.11)

older and we have more wisdom and more years on the planet. We know that, but do we fully embrace it and embody it and live our lives that way? And the caveat, I'm not talking about to heck with it all. I don't care about people. just gonna, I'm gonna just live my life without a care in the world and kind of trample on people and not care about other people. It's actually the opposite. I really don't feel that way. I care about people. 

Claire Darr (06:30.966)

I have huge respect for people. I want to see other people thrive and succeed and be happy. And at the same time, I don't want to do it to the sacrifice of my health and happiness and fulfillment or that of my family's. And I get to choose. I get to have a say. I get to have a say. And so I've started using this phrase in 

Claire Darr (06:59.886)

many, many aspects of my life, my business, my day, as I get up in the morning, as I take my kids to school, as I interact with people in the world at the grocery store, as I talk to clients, as I am just out and about living my life and then come back home with my family. I've really started to embrace and embody this. I get to have a say. I get to have a say in how I show up. 

Claire Darr (07:27.052)

I get to have a say in what I say next, in what I do next, in what I say yes to and what I say no to. In what I decide is good for me and my family, I get to have a say. And that is so empowering. And when we do it from a place of aligned purpose and passion, and we do it from a good place and a good energetic stance, only good. 

Claire Darr (07:56.152)

can come from that. It's not selfish. It's not to heck with everyone else. I'm just going to take care of me and mine and I don't care about the rest of the world. It's not that. It is the opposite. I care about the collective. I care about us all doing our best for our neighbor and each other. I care about seeing other people thrive and succeed. And it starts with me. When I 

Claire Darr (08:24.83)

know that I get to have a say, then it frees me up to be so much more, to give so much more, to have more clarity and purpose and freedom of choice and at the bottom line, energy, good energy, aligned energy, purposeful energy. I feel good. I feel like I'm me. I feel like I'm out in the world doing what I'm supposed to do. 

Claire Darr (08:53.71)

I got to have a say. So I want to leave you with a few statements that I've journaled on and I'm going to continue journaling on it and I encourage you if you can't stop and journal and write it down, know, come back. We're at minute 915 and journal on this or just think it through and come from a place 

Claire Darr (09:23.662)

Claire Darr (09:24.123)

of I get to have a say, you get to have a say. And it all starts with the word decide. Decide what you want. Decide that you will let it be easy. Imagine that. Decide that you will let it be easy. 

Claire Darr (09:47.02)

Decide that you won't believe the negative stories anymore. Where do those negative stories come from? They come mainly from you and your head. They really do, but they can come from external, but most of these negative stories, limiting beliefs, whatever you want to call them, come from within our own brains. Decide to be successful. Decide to be happy. Decide to be wealthy. Decide. 

Claire Darr (10:16.302)

to be healthy. Decide. You get to decide this. 

Claire Darr (10:23.694)

that the world is working with you and for you not against you. 

Claire Darr (10:33.218)

decide. 

Claire Darr (10:36.424)

Imagine if you went about your everyday with that knowledge, with that power, with that purpose, with that alignment, knowing that you're supported, knowing that you can trust yourself, you can trust your inner guidance, you can trust the decisions you make, you can trust that you get to have a say and that when you do, it's not just you who benefits, everyone around you benefits. 

Claire Darr (11:07.5)

quick little story about this. Yesterday was on my calendar. And if I told you out loud what I did yesterday, it was, it would have been a super stressful day. could have turned out to be one of those days you end up at home wanting to open a bottle of wine, just end the day and be done with it and move on to tomorrow. 

Claire Darr (11:37.068)

My day started at 5 a.m. and was literally nonstop. There wasn't a minute that I didn't have something or someone that I was doing something for or with. And it also required that I made three, I believe, maybe four, my husband said four, separate trips to and from my kids' school. 

Claire Darr (12:06.956)

Yeah. And could I have changed that situation? I'm sure I could have. Did I want to? No. Cause I decided that it was important for me to be the one dropping off and picking up my kids yesterday. And because of what they were doing, it required me to go back and forth a few times. And I, for a split second, really noticed myself get into an energetic space of 

Claire Darr (12:37.198)

more with me. it's my, my burden. why am I the only one who can do this? I'm gonna be in the car back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. there's so much I could get done during that period of time. And then I remembered, no, Claire, you have a say. In fact, it didn't have to be that way. My husband could have picked up or dropped off. He was available to do that. But I had 

Claire Darr (13:06.904)

committed to doing it. So from that place, something I was going to be doing, I decided I had a say and I would decide how I would show up. I would decide what kind of person I would be driving to and from, to and from, to and from. I would decide how I would use that time. And I would decide how I would be as a mom, as a person, interacting with my children. 

Claire Darr (13:34.508)

interacting with others during that period of time. I decided I didn't just let it happen at me to me. 

Claire Darr (13:41.89)

And I'll tell you, I did not come home last night needing to open a bottle of wine. had a lot of water actually, because it would be such a busy day and I had a healthy dinner. And we had a great evening as a family, fun evening. And I really chalk a lot of that up to my energy and how I showed up and that I had made a decision to be different than what sometimes is the default. 

Claire Darr (14:12.062)

which is stressed or overworked or overburdened or overwhelmed or overworked. And so a couple of little things I did, I was excited about a podcast I wanted to listen to. I've been dying to listen to. So I had that teed up ready to go when I got in the car. And honestly, I wanted a little bit more drive time because I didn't get to finish the podcast before my kid got in the car. 

Claire Darr (14:38.71)

On the way there, I, in the morning, which was not my usual routine, we played DJ. We play tons of really fun upbeat songs. Everyone got to play a song and we played some songs from the nineties that my kids think are cringe, but I thought that I remembered the club back in the day. we made it fun. And then I decided to be fun mom. had a two hour window. 

Claire Darr (15:08.958)

between picking one kid up and then having to go back and pick the other one up and just try to think, do we rush home? Do I run errands? Do I do this? Do I do that? Do I do the other? And I decided no. In that two hour window, what if I was intentional? I decide how I show up. I decide who I want to be. I decide that I won't believe the negative stories about not having enough time or not having too much to do or being a waste of time. And I decided to have a little... 

Claire Darr (15:38.766)

mini date with one of my girls. And when I picked her up, it was a surprise. I picked her up early and I told her, you get to decide. We could do this. And I picked something really, really fun and out of the ordinary. I actually picked going to like a fun video arcade where I knew they had ice cream and all kinds of stuff. And then the other thing I picked was going to a little ice cream parlor that had ice creams and 

Claire Darr (16:08.578)

fries and burgers and what have you. And she actually chose, would you believe, she said no to the arcade because she had a little bit of homework to do. So she said, could we just go get the ice cream, get the French fries, sit in the car and can I get my homework done please? And she's eight, by the way. And I said, is that what you really want to do? And she said, yeah, I really do. And I think that'll be fun. And I said, okay then. So we did it. And we went to the ice cream parlour, she got the 

Claire Darr (16:37.198)

best looking ice cream ever. I got a diet coke. She got some crinkle fries. I stole a couple. And we sat, I played music and she did her homework. And then we chatted and we planned some things coming up in the next few days. And then we went back and picked up her sister. Do you know how good that felt? That I decided instead of having that time at me, 

Claire Darr (17:06.368)

against me, wasted, feeling like a burden that I decided to make it fun. I decided that she could choose. I was baffled by what she chose, but it was her choice and she was happy with it. And we actually created some great memories there and she got her homework done. 

Claire Darr (17:31.438)

Claire Darr (17:32.919)

I wanted to tell you about that. It seems simple, right? It seems like nothing. It's not nothing. It is something. It was something to her. It was something to me. And it was a moment that probably would not have happened had I not run through this thought process earlier in the day. Claire, you get to have a say and you get to decide. 

Claire Darr (17:58.296)

You decide who you show up as. You decide how you show up. You decide to be happy. You decide to be healthy. You decide you will let it be easy. You decide you will let it be fun. 

Claire Darr (18:10.965)

And it was. Imagine that. Imagine that. So journal on these prompts. Decide that you'll let it be easy. What would that look like? Decide you won't believe the negative stories. What would that look like? Decide what you want. Decide who you want to be. Decide you want to show up healthy, wealthy, happy, joyful. Decide you will let it be easy. 

Claire Darr (18:39.5)

decide that the world is working with you and for you. 

Claire Darr (18:45.974)

and please share what comes up for you as you do this. Share your stories. I would love, love, love to hear your stories. And I hope this helps you today and have a beautiful rest of your day.