Season One Recap Show

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Transcript

Welcome And The Question What Aloha

SPEAKER_19 0:07

Aloha ohana. It's an honor to be an aloha ambassador of Hawai'i. But one of the questions I face daily is something we all face daily. What aloha? We still lucky we live Hawaii, blessed we live paradise. But after COVID lockdown 2020, Hawaii changed a lot and not necessarily for the better. Why aloha when Hawaii seems so different and times seem so rough? The good book says it this way: do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil by doing good and living aloha. Easy. That's what this Aloha Ali podcast is all about. Sharing a lay of aloha by weaving together many different guests with many different stories in a circle of love that will encircle the world in aloha. There is a fierceness about aloha. Can you talk to me about that? Because yeah, we talk about the aloha spirit a lot. We talk about the fact that it might be disappearing, but I believe that we're not just here to give the islands away for free. There's also a fierceness and a warrior spirit behind aloha.

SPEAKER_13 1:22

Well, Donna, I think a sense of um is a sense of kuliana responsibility to be able to recognize that God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but a power, a love, and a sound mind. And that is the the spirit of God uh in man to be able to perpetuate to be able to malama and care for the things that God created. And from the beginning, that was our kulayana, to malamaina, malama each other, and to be able to raise the standards and protect the standards that God has given us. So that is a mandate by God for all the family of God. Um and in regards to uh me, I am just one of many um that care about our home and the policies. And God has given us six hundred and thirteen policies or laws, um, but he knew that the pastor from Nanakouli is not gonna pass the test because he got too much laws, so he made it easy for the guys from Nanakouli to pass a test. So out of the six hundred and thirteen, he created ten the top ten policies.

SPEAKER_17 2:35

The ten commandments.

SPEAKER_13 2:36

Um people in church know what the ten commandments, but the first four is to love God, the last six is to love each other. So it is important for us to uphold that. Yeah, to hold the line on that.

SPEAKER_19 2:47

But then he made them more simple, as one of my brothers says, Oh, simple as a pimple. And he only gave us two, right?

Aloha Defined Akahai Through Humility

SPEAKER_13 2:55

Love God, love each other, right? Um, and so out of that mandate, out of that kuliana, out of that spirit, yeah, um, that we uh do what we need to do to perpetuate this place um that we will forever be known as a people in a place of the aloha. And and uh so Jesus is the tip of the spear because he's the original Mr. Aloha. Yes, he demonstrated that. So Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life. So if we're following Jesus into that building, into the capital to be able to advocate for the things of God in such a way that we can create a safer, more caring home. Hawaii. Talk about why this is important. Again, uh, it's in Hawaii Revise Statue 57.5. Thank you. Uh the first A is akahai to be kind. In order to be kind to other people, I have to learn how to control me no matter what they do. Because if I cannot control myself, then I'm out of control. L stands for Lokahir, unity. Um, that is focus on the we, not the me, and learn how to build bridges, not blow them up. Learn how to build bridges and not walls. It's good. And we need to learn how to coexist. You know, this year we're celebrating 50 years of the Hokulea, the voyage.

SPEAKER_19 4:12

Yes.

SPEAKER_13 4:12

And and that is so important for us as a people because that symbolizes the voyage of rediscovery.

SPEAKER_19 4:19

Wow.

SPEAKER_13 4:19

Of a people and a place. Well wow. Same thing with aloha.

SPEAKER_19 4:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_13 4:23

It's a voyage of rediscovery of who we are as a people. And we have to lookahin and learn how to coexist together in spite of our differences. Yeah. And uh because if not, the world's gonna fall apart.

SPEAKER_19 4:37

Nice.

SPEAKER_13 4:38

That is to agree, to disagree, or to listen skillfully. And I I I've been talking about that a whole lot more because the art of listening. Listening respectfully to hear and to understand where the other person's coming from. Wow. And not agree. We have to break the line that we have to agree on everything. No, we don't. No, we don't. Who said that? We don't, and then the H is uh ha-uh, humility.

SPEAKER_19 5:16

Love it.

SPEAKER_13 5:17

You know, to the it's humility back in civility, civilization.

SPEAKER_19 5:21

Wow.

SPEAKER_13 5:21

And and humbling ourselves to look at other people better than us.

SPEAKER_19 5:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_13 5:26

And and and it really is learning the art of being a treasure hunter.

SPEAKER_19 5:32

Wow.

SPEAKER_13 5:32

Looking for treasures in people, places, and problems, especially in people we didn't vote for, we don't like, you know, because God so loved the world, and we gotta learn how to love the world the way God does. And he didn't send his son Jesus, which is by the way the original Mr. Loha.

SPEAKER_19 5:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_13 5:51

He didn't send his son into the world to judge, to punish, to condemn, but to pull out the treasures in them.

SPEAKER_19 5:58

Oh, here it comes. Oh, he did it.

SPEAKER_13 6:01

Patience and perseverance. And part of that is learning how to be patient and learning how to persevere is taking personal responsibility for you. Taking personal responsibility for you and going again, managing you. But more importantly, it's it's taking extreme responsibility. Yeah, your life is the way it is because of the choices that you made. Come on. Stop blaming the White House, stop blaming the mayor's house, the governor's house. No, no, my life is this way because I'm reaping what I'm sowing. And the decisions I made got me in this mess. It's good. So I need to learn how to persevere to this thing. So part of it is taking responsibility for your mess and clean up your mess.

SPEAKER_19 6:45

We don't hear that kind of accountability in our world anymore, in our culture.

SPEAKER_13 6:49

And that's why this message, Don, and what you're doing is so important, and and this is what we're working on. We've we're we're realizing, I'm realizing that the spiritual, moral, and relational compass is broken.

SPEAKER_19 7:03

Very much so.

SPEAKER_13 7:04

And we must define what that is.

SPEAKER_17 7:11

You're 37 years marrying. You were reconsidering all of that, and you couldn't talk to the kids, you couldn't talk to your grandbabies, they couldn't come visit. What was that moment like for you? Terrifying because you don't ever live your life with the love of your life thinking that's how it's going to end. And you're best friends to this day, but in that moment, yeah, it wasn't going well.

SPEAKER_18 7:34

No, um, you ever heard that saying, like it gets worse before it gets better? That was the worst. And um, sometimes we have to really yield and submit to the Lord's work. And sometimes, like when when uh the Bible talks about him being the potter and you being the clay. You ever saw a uh clay on on a wheel? It's spinning, spinning, and and being molded and punched. Yeah, and and that's what it is when you're you when God's bringing your character flaws to the you know, it it feels like that, like it's not gonna be good, you know? But but God promised me a long time ago that He said, I'm gonna make you a new pot, you know? And I really believe for all of us Christians that He's constantly molding us, and so that was my husband's molding part on the sp the potter's wheel.

SPEAKER_35 8:24

My control, you know what I mean, was my were my anger was was yeah, it was out of control. And you know, um, you just get to one point where you know I just got to that breaking point, and that's what you saw, you know, that breaking point that Hallelujah, bruh. There's nothing that I can control. I cannot control my family, my kids, my wife, my life um with anger. You know what I mean? That this thing it don't work, you know. They all left, one each one at a different time, you know. And I saw her at the most breaking point, you know what I mean, that she had and I had. And uh, it was that one night we're sitting at the dinner table, and just her and I, and she buried her head in the table, and she just cried like I never heard them cry before. And she said, You chased all of them out of our house. He chased them all out, and we don't have they're not here, we don't have our children. I said, all we have is this big empty house, you know, and I stood up and I said, you know what? Let me do you one favor. I'm out of here. I'm leaving, you know, and I said, I'm I'm I'm I'll I'll never took me 10 minutes, and I was going down a road, and in Kanyeo, we we go down down an area that is called uh Lilipuna. Um there's a flashing yellow light on this one bin. And I saw that flashing light, and all of a sudden, man, I I I heard God's God's voice. Just like we're talking, and he goes, Where are you gonna go? He tell me, where you think you're gonna where can you run? Where can you go? Whose house you can go stay at? Where you think you can go fly off to that? You think problems is gonna be gone. You know? He said, You're gonna turn around right now. You're gonna first you're gonna call her, and you're gonna turn around right now, and every day of your life, from this point, you're gonna bow your head lower to the ground than you ever have in your life, and you're gonna get rid of all of this. Wow, you're gonna get rid of all of this stuff.

SPEAKER_19 10:38

And a yellow blinking light stops caution, don't hold it. That yellow light is still there.

SPEAKER_35 10:43

Yeah, listen. And um, man, no sooner than that that words came to me, man. I was on the phone and I said, honey, I'm I apologize. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_05 10:57

I grew up seeing things that a child should never see, enduring things that a child should never endure. And when I had the opportunity to open my heart to the Lord, you know, I didn't feel worthy enough, you know, because the sins that I had committed, I knew what I was doing. I deserve hell. However, my children don't. They deserve to see another option, another way. I didn't get a chance to see that. Yeah. So it was important for me to be able to show them, you know, and it was because of that that I was able to really um, you know, just persevere in this walk because, you know, because of the love of God and because he can truly change the heart of a man. Amen. You know, I, you know, and and my children, they have never, and they will never come home and see, you know, dad beating mom or mom drunk falling off the couch, they got to carry her into the bedroom. Like they will never know any of that. All they will know is how to press in by faith. All they will know is when, you know, you speak the name of Jesus, even demons, even demons will have to bow. Yes. So knowing their authority, knowing who they are in Christ, and knowing how to use the word of God to their advantage to fulfill God's purpose is really how I'm imparting this example into my children. Yes, is that we're fighting for something greater, not just these temporary satisfactions, but a long-term legacy. And that's what this is all about.

SPEAKER_19 12:25

I rarely keep a card. I kept this card because it bothers me. And I think part of that is we have these films, like we're coming out with a Disney film, right? And the Disney quote, right, Ohana means family, and family means no one gets left behind. I'm not shaming our state. I think we have one of the most powerful forces on earth in aloha. That's why we were called aloha alive. But I also know that until I saw that there was a problem, I didn't know we needed a solution. And so thank you, Brad and Esther, for faithfully bringing to us the black eye of our state that we are not taking care of our children. God's word is clear about taking care of the children. Yes. So the widows and the orphans, the widows and the orphans, right? And we often talk about the forgotten ones, and these really are the vulnerable, the most vulnerable. These are children. They don't know where to go and make money, where to get their next meal, or where the roof is gonna come from. Right.

SPEAKER_06 13:28

The state and the church can work together and also to focus on the native Hawaiian children because there are more native Hawaiians in the system than any other ethnicity, with a 20-something percent of our population being native Hawaiian. So if something's not right.

SPEAKER_19 13:45

Oh, now say that again that the native Hawaiian population are more highly represented, they're the top representation of foster children. When really we know, and Governor Green has recently stated that Hawaiians are by large and far the most moving out of the state, and so there's more Hawaiians outside of the boundaries of Hawaii and the islands than there are here.

SPEAKER_31 14:06

Yeah, and you're so we're here sitting here saying there's trouble in paradise. Thank you. Right? Thank you, Esther. Who in your healthy, wonderful Christian home wants to bring brokenness into it? Well, that's the number one way to grow your faith. Let me tell you, right? So that was one of the things that we love is helping people navigate this big system.

SPEAKER_24 14:29

I was poor, but I never felt poor. That makes sense.

SPEAKER_19 14:34

I'm going home, right? Home is home based because it's my sanctuary until you know I got the token.

SPEAKER_24 14:41

And I was like, look at my school. Look at my coin is different from everybody else. One of my classmates looked at me because you're poor, Muggy. Really? No.

SPEAKER_19 14:54

It was a fake quarter and a fake dime. You're a little bit older than me, but mine was a quarter and a dime. Fake dreaming, yes. Dream. Like and give them the platform to dream. Yeah.

SPEAKER_24 15:05

Give them the platform to dive into their life, life is tough. Um and it's so complex because I think we gotta fix our schools. I think we gotta fix our family first, and then I think we gotta fix our our, you know. I remember being in class and they would have a guest speaker come and they all say the same thing, right? Inspirational speakers. You are tomorrow's future, and you start getting it. Yes, I'm tomorrow's future, and only that one homeless person in your neighborhood that you all knew, right? Yes, yeah, right. Yeah, and then you you become an adult and you look around it. Did the future get better? I mean, who are you talking to?

SPEAKER_19 15:48

So, like I'm only laughing because this is so true.

SPEAKER_24 15:50

No, when I talk to kids, I don't even say that. Yeah, I don't say that because I'm on this thing where like find the strong and not the wrong. Wow, right? Like, it's so easy though to find all the wrong find the strong and not the wrong, and we're gonna bring this in on a landing right now. There's so many people that are so strong in our communities. Let's go help them, yes, right? Because we have dreamers, kids that think it like I don't want to be here, children, yeah, who want to perpetuate. And all they're seeing right now is the wrongs.

SPEAKER_19 16:26

That's good, you know what I mean? Especially because of media. How do we show them the strong spotlight the strong and we can be the strong?

SPEAKER_24 16:33

How do we inspire them that there's people in our community that are doing amazing things?

SPEAKER_09 16:41

We threw ourselves, Don, at the mercy of and he answered us.

SPEAKER_19 16:47

Wow.

SPEAKER_09 16:47

And he showed us, I've got you. And you don't know that when you have your own money, you don't know that when you're comfortable. You don't re- you think you know it, right? But you don't know it until you are in that desperate place of if you don't fix this, God, we will die. Come on.

SPEAKER_19 17:04

Whom have I in heaven but you? I have got nowhere else to go.

SPEAKER_09 17:09

And it's a painful lesson, but it's the most amazing lesson, Don. Right. Because we don't worry, I don't worry like I used to worry. I would get sick if people didn't show up. I mean, I literally would be like, oh my gosh, how are we gonna get through the day? How are we gonna we had three people go get high under the bridge and they're not coming back? I mean, that's the kind of thing that we face, and I would be I would be neurotic. Literally, I was a mess. And now I go, it's yours, Jesus. Right. Restaurant's yours, the people are yours, you've got to do it. And you know what? Guys, he does it. That's that's the thing is to watch him move and watch him do it. And it's not based on Ross's restaurant experience, although that's helpful, right? When you were asking about the secret sauce, it's not, you know, we gotta have the basics, right? You gotta know your PL, you've gotta understand labor costs, you've got to understand your food costs, right? Right. But then that missing thing is knowing that God will bring the people, God will set you up, He's gonna do it. Wow. And I just want to encourage whoever is out there thinking about embarking on the small business, you gotta just trust God like that. Do everything, do your homework, and know what you know, but that missing component is something that only he can do.

SPEAKER_19 18:21

The X factor is the cross.

SPEAKER_09 18:24

Wow.

SPEAKER_25 18:30

So it's interesting living water.

SPEAKER_27 18:39

So um anyway, oyo la nigga, ooh. You are supreme, everlasting father, King of Kings, living with social life, the one who has made all things my only master and high mountain Prince of Peace.

SPEAKER_24 22:21

You know, my son does drag the older one. Mr. Bo. Bo. So the first time he does this competition and go in, everybody's like, Bo's like, oh, I got dad. You take you take it away to stick.

SPEAKER_19 22:34

Oh, you went. Yeah. Because it's like watching you walk in. You're very recognizable and everybody loves you.

SPEAKER_24 22:41

So like all his friends was like, you know, gonna take pictures.

SPEAKER_19 22:47

Wait, how? How? How do they ask you?

SPEAKER_24 22:51

You know, I'm like, of course you can.

SPEAKER_19 22:54

Not but like, you know, uh, you know, it for me it's such a you know what I enjoy is that you are able to laugh and bring up something that's difficult, right? Because that was on the list is you have a son who is living a gay lifestyle. Two of them, not just gay lifestyle, two sons, excuse me, but drag queen gay. Yeah, and you're a man of faith, a man of the word. Yeah, so let's walk into that right now. Let's do it. Is it what kind of challenge is that? I'm not gonna say is it a challenge, because every child is a challenge, whether they're homosexual, bisexual, all sexual. Yeah. What how did you walk through that? Because you were one of the first that I knew personally locally. How was the challenge?

SPEAKER_24 23:38

Yeah, I talked about it in my act because it was very difficult. You know, uh, I grew up in a household where like you had to fight, you know, uh cam for anything, anything that looked feminine, my dad would be like, Well, you mo, no dad, we good. You know, we pick them on fuck on sip. What is this? Right?

SPEAKER_19 23:59

Uh so you know, so very masculine man's man. Yeah, no gray zone there. Yeah, you're either all man or you're better be a man.

SPEAKER_24 24:09

If you saw my act, you know, I talk about like every dad don't go to bed going, please let my son be a ballerina. You know what I mean? Unfortunately, you know, that's the route my son Junior went. And I told them, like, you know, this lifestyle is gonna be challenging. Yeah. And you have to learn to accept the fact that people gonna disrespectful, disrespect you. Doesn't mean you disrespect them. Wow, yeah, like understand that this is gonna be challenging, and then you, you know, and they're very brave kids, they're very um or not, men, oh, depending. They, women, I don't know. It's me being funny, people.

SPEAKER_19 24:53

Um his sons laugh, you're allowed to laugh. Yeah, I'm laughing, and it's not laughing at, it's laughing with with them, right?

SPEAKER_24 25:01

But you know, it's always been challenging for them.

SPEAKER_19 25:03

Well, but you prepared them with that talk, and you are dad, and they are your sons, and there's no shame, yes, right?

SPEAKER_24 25:10

And I've all I still have a hard time with it. They know that, you know, and we talked about this before the show.

SPEAKER_19 25:17

Sometimes they like you have to keep talking about us, and I don't as much know it's how you processed, you said initially is you did use it and go into a comedy bit that you were processing.

SPEAKER_24 25:27

Yes, I was working through my own challenges with my children being gay, yeah.

SPEAKER_32 25:37

For me, in my head, I'm like, I'm going through so much crap already, but there's always somebody out there going through something worse, and to be able to, I guess, meet them at that point, you you're always in a position to help somebody, yeah. And it doesn't always have to be a financial thing, it could just be hi, how you doing? You know what I mean? I hope we hope you have a good day, and that can alter someone's entire day just by you recognizing, connecting to that person. So that's good. That's to the top of what is just uh and we use this slogan a lot. There are infinite ways to the top.

SPEAKER_19 26:08

This man has a supernatural sense of justice because you weren't just fighting to be a bully or to be mean or to lord it over others, you were fighting for your own life in the beginning, you were fighting for others, and now you're still fighting, Jesse, to bring justice to the streets for those who cannot defend themselves, the houseless. And so um, you quoted Gandhi. You said, right? What is his quote?

SPEAKER_32 26:34

I like to change it up a little bit, but I know it's um um be the change you wish to see in the world, and be making trying to make it more local verse. I was like, be the aloha you wish to see in the world. I love that, and to lead that example. I I I shove my son into a lot of these podcasts because I've I've known what that struggle is growing up, whether it's uh a broken home or or just um finances and that struggle you go through. And he's gonna have to face those certain demons as well as he gets older. So if if I don't find a way to address that now, then he's gonna have to deal with that. And I wanted to be able to lead with that aloha and show himself hey, there's another way. There is another way. You don't have to do what dad did, you don't have to grow up rough, rugged, or or put yourself through this mess. It's like just just listen to the story, don't walk through the shoes.

SPEAKER_19 27:25

What is everyday bless? And I you can see it right here. Auntie Don is modeling my everyday aloha. We got everyday Jesus, and he's everyday better, better.

SPEAKER_34 27:35

I like to say that everyday better is uh is it's a mantra, yeah, it's a mindset, it's a motto, uh, it's a it's a meaning, and but more than that, I want to start a movement of positivity. So it started out as everyday better, being uh better physically in your physical life, and then it kind of evolved into being everyday better spiritually, everyday better mentally, everyday better physically. Relationships are just I was just so overwhelmed with the amount of people that connected with it on different levels, and I realized it's such a general term, but so basic, but you can apply it to your life in any different facet.

SPEAKER_19 28:06

Right. And it it's simple, but it's profound. It I love it. I've been wearing your merch since I first met you, and we met at um, I think it was an HBA reunion a couple years ago. And I love you and I love Patty, your partner in uh all things, but everyday better is just I think it's so it connects with so many, Eric, in my humble opinion, because we all can do it.

SPEAKER_34 28:30

Women are I've created one way, men are created one way, and men are super macho, but men need to be loved, yeah, they need to be validated, they need to be acknowledged, yeah. But we don't, and we don't see another. So I I do my best to tell guys, yeah, bro, I love you. And it's not, oh, but you homo, it has nothing to do with it. But men have a hard time telling other men that they love them. But if you make that normal, it's okay. Men will tell women they love them because they want sex or they want something, yeah. But but saying I appreciate you or I adore you is different from love. So I try to tell my wife, I appreciate her and I love her and I adore her. Wow, because love is one thing. Oh, I love you, love you, right? Love you, right? I love cake, right? I love pizza, I love movies, if it's very abusive. I'm not saying it doesn't have any meaning, but it doesn't have a lot of meaning anymore. So saying I appreciate you and showing I appreciate you and acknowledging to other men, it's not nothing to do with women, to the other men, but we're definitely different when we cater to women or to men. Yes. From a men's standpoint. And then there's a lot of men that I know who are business owners or CEOs that are suffering, that have messaged me that they want to kill themselves. It's heavy. And I have the most matuous guys, the ones who are the leaders, are the ones that are suffering too, but they they cannot ever show that.

SPEAKER_03 29:38

So people who are abortion wounded are probably not able to talk freely about their abortion because they haven't had healing, right? Or they they don't know what to do with that. They feel like um, you know, like they've done something so horrible that they just need to like push it down that they're not worthy of anything. So that leads to um a lot of people who do like kind of more destructive behaviors, um, partying, yeah, anxiety disorders, um, suicidal depression.

SPEAKER_19 30:13

So a lot of self-coping mechanisms or um self-medicating, right? It's a trauma in its different forms. It's a trauma that's they haven't been able to deal with. And there's the lie of a simple procedure. It is anything but simple because it impacts the spirit, the body, the mind, and the emotions, the head and the heart.

SPEAKER_00 30:33

And the hard part too is that as we've been learning and we've been walking through this journey, is that we think that when we get saved, it's all good. We we are saved and God has forgiven us.

SPEAKER_03 30:42

God is forgiven, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:43

But there's healing that needs to occur. And if people don't get that healing, they tend to still go back to having those traumas and not functioning the way God created them to function in their fullness.

SPEAKER_19 30:56

For the full freedom.

SPEAKER_00 30:57

Yeah. So that's part of why Deeper still exists, is that your abortion wounded heart, yes, we've been forgiven, but there's healing that has to occur.

SPEAKER_03 31:04

So for a lot of mothers, and including myself, I know that when I had my abortion, it's almost like my mother's heart got aborted. So the way I mothered, the way I parented, um, was different. I couldn't give my whole heart because there was a part of it that was aborted that I didn't deal with.

SPEAKER_19 31:28

Talk to me about what is healthy conflict.

SPEAKER_10 31:31

Yeah, so healthy conflict, and according to John Gottman, so let's talk about those four horsemen, right? So if there's criticism, then the criticism, the antidote to criticism is having what's called soft startups. Soft startups, you probably heard, and you know, with your background in communication, is where you use I statements. I feel about what and I need, which is the requests. Not that you're gonna honor my request, but at least we're gonna I'm gonna start this in a soft, gentle way, and instead of criticizing you, you never this, and you never, and then you know, I read your mind, I know what you're thinking, right? And so instead of that, it says, you know, I I would I was kind of hurt when you, when I thought I heard you say this, and I would appreciate if you'd say this differently. It presents a softer way in starting this up. Um, and then the next one is uh contempt. Well though, contempt, I do want to address that because with contempt, Dr. John Gottman says when you have a contempt mindset, there's a 95% of divorce more.

SPEAKER_19 32:25

Holy smack.

SPEAKER_10 32:26

95. So 90% of the the four horsemen, but if there's a contempt, which is I'm better, I'm there's a 95% of divorce with if the contempt is ruling the relationship.

SPEAKER_19 32:41

It was what we call a suddenly, where Kaulana passed um of a massive heart attack. You had no rhyme or reason. He was in his late 40s, it was right during COVID lockdown and shutdown. And I want to ask you a personal question. How did you overcome the suddenly?

SPEAKER_02 32:59

There, the first thing is it just kept breathing, like the choice to keep breathing um and just not slip out into, you know, not out of this world. Um, but yeah, the choice to keep breathing. Um, I did some things to help keep me healthy. Yes. Um just the people who surrounded us, I just that was a huge thing. Um we're super blessed. We had so much love and support, which was which was very um huge. Um to to uh Colonna lived such a huge life, a bold and loud life. And so silence was really not a thing in our world. And so it was um, even though it was you know, a lot of people that came around and it could be overwhelming, and it was overwhelming, it also was very helpful to keep to help us keep hearing, just hearing and feeling the love around us. Um, so that was very helpful to keep moving forward.

SPEAKER_23 33:54

Um is um understanding the words, you know, the wise words of our kupuna and our ancestors from from Olelo No Eao, like it's we don't have to recreate the circle, right? Uh one of our um Aliho Leho, he said, and I still have to rememorize the Hawaiian one, but the English part of the Olelo No Eao said, how can you not be successful without if you don't follow the footsteps of our Kupuna? Wow, Ali Holiho said that, you know, so that's all we have to do. You know, if you think about what our what our Ali did, what our ancestors did, just follow what they did, you know, work on that Ohana system that's good for the greater good, the Ahu Pu'a system, right? We have to work on that. Um and really, like I mean, I could care less about standardized tests, I really can't, you know, but really what kind of what is the um profile of a a graduate? You know, come on, is this A, B, and C what you want it to be, like grades and scores and all of that, or you want them to have compassion, right? You want them to have aloha. Yeah, you know, part of our our purpose here in life is to really find your gift, right? You know, find your gift first, right? And then when you find your gift, the purpose of life is to give it away. Yes, yeah. So we're helping them find their gifts and all the activities that I do, find your gift, find your passion, and when you do, then you give it away.

SPEAKER_10 35:32

I was just gonna say behaviors make sense because you talked about you know the the the patterns of fighting. Well, why are we fighting? Well, because we fight, we start trying to try we're trying to get our point across, and so why fighting? Because at the end, at the end of the day, at the bottom, underneath all that fighting, I should say, underneath all that argument, the cuss words and the volume going up underneath all of that, it's because I simply care. Or as I'm very I'm just sad that we're we're at this point in our marriage, we're at this point in our family, and so I just don't know what to do. And what did I what do I know how to do is to fight, get loud. But underneath all of that, I'm just so hurt and sad that our marriage is disjointed like this.

SPEAKER_28 36:12

I love that, right?

SPEAKER_10 36:13

And so behaviors, all behaviors make sense because you don't know you you don't know how else to deal with this, you don't know how to deal with that shame or that hurt and that sadness. And so, what do you know how to do? Fight and get my voice louder. So, why? Because I feel unheard, I feel unsafe. I I just don't know how to do this. So, be all behaviors make sense when you get to the root of it.

SPEAKER_19 36:37

First and foremost, music, you are music royalty, especially in the state of Hawaii. Your dad is nothing less than Ernie Cruz Sr. Mama Maggie, of course. I love Mama Maggie. Her mama got saved in Sin City. Okay. If the devil had a tear on somebody, he had a tear on this family. Come on. But Mama Maggie gets saved and then leads her husband back to Jesus. And yes, he did see her in Sin City.

SPEAKER_08 37:05

Yes.

SPEAKER_19 37:06

Um, her brothers are Ernie Cruz Jr., of course, because dad is senior, and that is from the Kaal Crater Boys, Guy Cruz, John Cruz, her older brothers. Then her husband is Emua Garza. He's quite a guitar picker of the OP Pickers. And he they also, with their dear friends, are Zao Worship. You now are in a band called Zao Worship. We'll get to what Zao means in a second, but that's with Tiffany Thurston, Kamu Singh, Emua, and Tiffa Garza. She herself now, who started writing songs at age eight. Wow. Yeah. You grabbed a guitar at 12 years of age. 10, actually. 10 years ago. Okay, I stalked her, but I stalked her wrong. They got the facts wrong. 10 years old, she starts picking at the guitar. Today she is an accomplished Nahoku, Hano Hano award-winning composer, songwriter, and singer.

SPEAKER_08 37:59

Where I was so concerned about the people in the audience. Are they worshiping? Are they connecting with the Lord? Are they that I missed ministering to him?

SPEAKER_17 38:08

Wow.

SPEAKER_08 38:08

And it hit me a few years back. And I just thought, wow, I whoa Lord, I'm not the Holy Spirit. I don't turn their hearts to worship you. You do that in them as they encounter you. May I focus on you.

SPEAKER_19 38:24

So I've had quite a different kind of a shift in my perspective when it comes to worship. That was a paradigm shift. It was, and it is we are a soul, is your head and your heart. It's your thoughts, it's your emotions, right? It's your will. So you're a you're a body, you're a soul, and you're a spirit. I kind of simplified it into three parts. I can't see your soul. I can't see your spirit. Yeah. But I know that they exist because God is spirit and he created you in his image to be a spirit.

SPEAKER_29 38:56

So full being. Full being experience. First of all, let's look at two bodies literally are coming together with the completion of the reproductive system. But we know it's not just two bodies, it's two persons. So, first of all, you're talking about two distinct, different bodies coming together as one body when the two come together sexually. So that's just a physical aspect. But really, that's like symbolic of all of these other invisible bonds and unions. Wow. So when you look at, I'm gonna say the gift of sex, it's its total design is to bond two people together. Okay. And that's where it can be so beautiful, especially within the safe context of a lifelong, loving, healthy marriage, right? That's where you're gonna have your optimal best for everything relationship, love, connecting.

SPEAKER_19 40:03

All right, practical advice for boy moms. Oh respect. What?

SPEAKER_14 40:10

Respect, respect, respect, respect.

SPEAKER_19 40:13

And I love that you nail it in one word, because pretty much, and I'm not trying to be a sexist, guys have a really short attention span. You just gotta get right to the point.

SPEAKER_14 40:20

Whether you're respect one, three, seven, seventeen, or fifty-seven, seventy-seven. I believe that it's in respect. And one of the things that I've learned that I've had to learn, right, as my husband, is just I respect him. And but then I realize as I as we have young men growing up, um, they know that their mom loves them, right? They know that I will be there for them, but do they know that I respect them?

SPEAKER_19 40:46

Wow. They don't know that. How would you show respect to a young, let's say your youngest is a junior in high school, or even like for a seven-year-old? A lot of it is in the words that we use.

SPEAKER_14 40:57

I I I had to change my language, Apollo Skawai. I love you. Now I say I respect you, I honor you. I really try to incorporate those words, and I have to say there's something in their spirit that just rises up. Like my mom respects me. You know, she I know she loves me, but does she respect me? And when I start to change those, I see a shift in the way that they they are towards me, they are to towards in in our house. Maybe I asked them to do a chore. It's like, yeah, mom, sure, I'll do it because I respect you.

SPEAKER_11 41:33

And uh Bible says there's seven, there's like there, there's uh seven spirits. You get you bring one, they're gonna bring all seven inside. So all that seven get named. So the number one gang shot caller in all of the spirit, his name is Pride. Wow, pride brings in unforgiveness, rejection, abandonment, self-sense entitlement. So all these spirits that come that's that that that and I call it premeditated because you you you you you think about the negative spirit and stuff that happened in your past, all are traumatized. Now that becomes a stronghold.

SPEAKER_19 42:03

Yeah, come on now.

SPEAKER_11 42:04

And God said in the Bible in 2 Corinthians, you gotta bring down that stronghold that comes and exalt against the truth. That's good. The devil gonna try, and he's an accuser of the brethren. Yes, he's gonna accuse you, he's gonna believe, he's gonna lie to you for you to believe in a lie. Now you play in a movie, and guess who's gonna start in the movies? Right?

SPEAKER_19 42:23

The guys, they star in their own movies in your main playing in the mind theater of your mind 24-7-365.

SPEAKER_11 42:30

Yeah, it's identifying the voices because there's many voices in the world, Don, but not every voice is significant, not every voice tells you the truth, and this is why we're looking for the truth. And how are you gonna find the truth? You read your Bible. How are you gonna know the truth if you don't you know you're not in your Bible? Come on. So there's there's that lack of um people's understanding because they don't know the word. Because once you know the word, your foundation will be more a lot stronger than it was before.

SPEAKER_19 42:59

Tell us what is Camp Agape.

SPEAKER_30 43:01

Well, Camp Agape is uh is a special camp for the children of incarcerated. Uh we try to reach out to all the children here on the state of Hawaii, and uh we invite them to this free four-day camp. And a camp is agape. Agape is God's unconditional love, his highest form of love, his sacrificial love. And that's that's our hardest to bring the children to the camp and allow them to feel that unconditional love that uh the father loves them so much. We really uh push that theme of forgiveness, let them know you know what, if if God can forgive you, there's none that you can and they learn how to forgive. They learn how to forgive and they get set free. Right after they're they accept the Lord, we do an open prayer time for them. And they all come up and we get to pray, you know, for. The situation for their mom or dad, or you know, that God will go into the prison and and bring their parents to their knees and bring them back into the kingdom, you know. So it's a blessing, you know.

SPEAKER_15 44:17

My whole goal into about life right now is did I is my name registered in heaven?

SPEAKER_19 44:21

Oh come on.

SPEAKER_15 44:22

Aloha, not gonna get me there.

SPEAKER_19 44:24

Why?

SPEAKER_15 44:24

And that's hard because we Hawaiian, we're Polynesian. Yes. What do you mean you're selling out aloha? I'm not selling out aloha. I'm just putting Jesus in front of the aloha.

SPEAKER_19 44:32

Right?

SPEAKER_15 44:32

I'm putting Almighty in front of the aloha. Thank you. Because I let you know now, I did I thought I wasn't doing anything wrong, but I was breaking up households. Going with one girl, getting her pregnant, trying to work it out, it didn't work out. Go with another one, boom. Households were getting broken. My household broken. That's my next journey. Will my twins come back to me?

SPEAKER_19 44:49

We will pray for that. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_15 44:51

Without me knowing. And this no Hazel Kainalu, Daddy loves you. I want to say it here on Don's podcast. That's good. Daddy loves you in the Waihole home. Is the light is always on. Moon, I love you. Can I say I love you to all my children? You can. Can I say I love you to my wife?

SPEAKER_19 45:02

Yes, yes, you can.

SPEAKER_15 45:03

CJ, I love you with all my heart and soul.

SPEAKER_19 45:05

Wow, wow.

SPEAKER_15 45:06

Christopher. Kanoi. Nikki. Moon. Hazel Kainalu. Kaena. Yes. And little Maria in Mexico.

SPEAKER_19 45:15

Oh. You gotta be hollow. Look like it's a good thing.

SPEAKER_15 45:22

Mysterious but funny at the same time. We gotta be. We tears fall, we cry, we let the break. That's what you're looking for. I say little Maria because I wish now that my child support was in Mexico versus America. Child support is 500 each. Okay, it's not. But Little Maria, I gotta say it.

SPEAKER_19 45:38

You can speak into being and prophesy cheaper child support.

SPEAKER_15 45:43

Little Maria would have been 33 cents a day for clothes and school and books. I just joke and that's just a joke, guys, because we're communicating.

SPEAKER_19 45:50

Really, we're really joking right now. Okay, thank you for that.

SPEAKER_12 45:57

April 8th, 1988, I got into uh a fight with another man, but this time I ended up killing him.

SPEAKER_28 46:07

Wow.

SPEAKER_12 46:07

Yeah, so I took his life and there I was, you know, back in prison now facing two life sentences. There I was, you know, watching on the TV along with 50 other inmates. You know, I'm not really knowing our Samoan culture, but there was this thing called the Ifonga, which is a peace ceremony. Yeah. So here I am watching my parents, my siblings, bowing down in front of the salavia chief. They were crying and pleading with fine mats over the head and asking the chief to forgive me for my my wrong. So the chief ended up picking my dad's hand, you know, lifting him up as a sign of forgiveness. So I'm crying, you know, watching this, you know, just seeing, looking at the man that I hated you know, for so many years, but yet he was doing this for me. I was in tears just crying. You know, um but exactly three months later, the family retaliated and they killed my older brother. You know, overcoming uh childhood trauma, I believe it's through the power of forgiveness.

SPEAKER_17 47:20

Wow.

SPEAKER_12 47:20

And that's you know the story that you know I continue to share. And you know, God just opened up doors for me because in 2014, when Pastor Joe heard that I was still in our schools, I carried on the legacy of men of war through starting a group called Peacemakers in 2004. Okay. So Peacemakers was created, you know, in honor of Marty Salaville, my victim, and my brother Joe Tafite, to prevent our kids from going through, you know, the gang life, you know, alcohol and drugs.

SPEAKER_28 47:53

Right.

SPEAKER_12 47:53

You know, and so that's what Peacemakers have been doing.

SPEAKER_01 48:00

It's a real campaign for the people.

SPEAKER_28 48:02

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 48:02

This is not a campaign for a right or left or all, it's a pro-hawaii campaign because all of the people have the same, they share the same basic needs.

SPEAKER_28 48:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 48:11

Same dreams, same hopes. And then there's this presentation out there that we've heard for decades now. Ever I can't remember the last time when politicians stood up and said, we want to fix a problem. Instead, they identify a problem. Right? So we have health care, homelessness, cost of living, education. It's the same story over and over and over. And what I realized is there's a way for politicians to actually stop talking about platitudes and start connecting with people. Yes, sir. God has given provision, favor, and abundance to have righteousness in government because people will prosper once that's so.

SPEAKER_19 48:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 48:48

That's a promise. That is a promise. God said, I uh you put righteous people in government, the people will prosper.

SPEAKER_19 48:53

And I was going to say it's not just a promise, it's God's promise.

SPEAKER_01 48:56

It's God's promise, exactly. That's good. Good clarification. Exactly. So that's the that's the call. Yes. It is a magic a matter of calling people up to the God given gift of who they've been made, how they live their lives, I love that. How they are with each other in relationship, how they show up at work.

SPEAKER_19 49:11

Yes.

SPEAKER_33 49:16

You know, the orphan stronghold is pervasive through ethnicity and age. And, you know, basically God is trying to come and say, Hey, you're my kids. Amen. And you know, if you look at Matthew chapter 3, verse 16, Jesus, the Son, is in the is he's in the Jordan River and hears a voice. This is my son in whom I am well pleased. And so we bear false images, a false images, image of maybe achiever or entertainer. Yeah. Right. And the father is saying, No, you're my son, you're my daughter. Amen. Right? And I think in that passage we learn something profound.

SPEAKER_17 49:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_33 49:54

Because the father is saying, You have my pleasure.

SPEAKER_19 49:57

Yes.

SPEAKER_33 49:57

And my son took care of it for you on the cross. But I'm speaking to my son right now. I'm pleased with you. Have you shared a sermon? Have you raised anyone from the dead? Have you delivered anyone? Healed anyone?

SPEAKER_19 50:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_33 50:10

Recruited your disciples? No. I love you just because you're my daughter or you're my son. And I think when we remove those false images, which we deal with in healing hearts, then we we flow out of sonship and daughtership.

SPEAKER_19 50:27

Amen.

SPEAKER_33 50:27

And that's one of the keys. Because when you're a daughter or a son, you know you have an inheritance. You know you're unconditionally loved. You mess up, and God says, Well, I know your house under construction. It's okay. So good. But we don't pound ourselves. Right. And we have freedom. And where the spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.

SPEAKER_04 50:49

My son asked us for about eight months to start his own business. And he kept wanting, and he had different ideas. At first, he wanted to write books and sell them on the side of the road. So we workshopped that. And then I don't know if you remember the beads that you iron and they fuse together. And he so they're like little beads you put together and you iron it and he could make keychains. And I told him, Well, it takes you 45 minutes to make one. Realistically, you can sell it for$5. Right. So he looked up other ways to make keychains and he saw being able to engrave. And so he has been doing that for a year now. And how old is he eight? Oh my god. So he was seven. But I kept putting it off because I go, that's a lot. And I remember so clearly we were driving home, and because I would ask him, why do you want to start a business? And he'd always tell me to earn money. And I go, again, it came up. And I go, why, Noah? And he goes, I have a plan. I go, well, what's your plan? And he said, I want to buy Bibles for people who don't have. Sorry. And I was like, oh, just hit me right here. And I was like, my seven-year-old to say that. So he wanted to buy Bibles and give them to people. His second one is he wanted to say for college. He's like an old man already. And then number three is he wanted to take the whole family on a snow trip because he's always wanted to see snow. But it just was one of those, I remember so clearly driving home, going, okay, we're starting a business. Half of my garage is going to be your so literally, half of my garage is his workshop.

SPEAKER_16 52:10

Prepare for a very intense legislative session, especially with protection of our Kiki, because we were going to be dealing with the push to legalize recreational marijuana. And here's the thing about recreational marijuana. It's again, because it was last year. Oh yeah, it's it's it didn't pass, but you but for people that were watching, there was a really heroic effort for them to push it, right? So it was a heroic effort on our side to fight against it because it was absolutely insane. But you know, again, we want to make the claim. Growing up here in Hawaii, everybody knows about Pacalolo, okay? You could talk into somebody and they're gonna say, oh, Maui Wowie, Kona Gold, right? They're gonna bring it up. We're not talking about the adult who wants to smoke pot in their back room and just chill and watch TV and drink a beer. We're not we we don't like it because we know that marijuana can there's there's a destruction of family element that but we are talking about that here in the state of Hawaii, we can't even control the vaping of our young kids. And we're gonna add a component now to it that is going to destroy.

SPEAKER_19 53:14

Oh my gosh, I never even thought about that until you said that.

SPEAKER_16 53:18

We we brought it up.

SPEAKER_19 53:19

Because you can add it into the dabs when we first started with the vaping thing, and not me. I I despise vaping, but you can add it into that little insertion of the vape.

SPEAKER_16 53:30

We're we're talking um recreational marijuana includes edibles, so we're talking cookies and gummy bears and all of the stuff that can get into the hands of our keiki, and they can try to protect it. And you know, I I want to give our legislators a little bit of props. Do you? Yes, I want to I want to be fair that in the discussions they do make the claim, you know, we don't want this in the hands of our keikis. So let's make sure that we're putting these roadblocks. But you and I have driven on a freeway before. We know what roadblocks can and cannot do, and let's be honest, you know, I don't want one cakey to die because they're gonna overdose on gummy bears or whatever. I I don't want it to happen, and so I will fight tooth and nail to make sure that our keiki is not destroyed by this effort.

SPEAKER_22 54:20

When I'm looking to your holiness, when I'm gazing to your loveliness, when all things that surround become shadows in the light of you. I worship you, I worship you. The reason I live is to worship you. That's my favorite.

SPEAKER_19 54:53

I love that song, thank you, sir. Now in your language, please.

SPEAKER_22 55:12

So e bug jag so e bug jag me to Yesu. It means Jesus come in my life.

SPEAKER_17 55:35

Wow.

SPEAKER_21 55:35

And if my fortune is gone or my blessings are gone, just wake them up. Wow. Fill me with your power so all the blessings can come back in my life. You have a very Pauline. When you got something, yes, and you know who is talking to you and what he has done for you. Maybe I didn't realize what God has done, but when I heard his voice, he's like, So from that to the time I made up my mind and prepared my heart that whatever the price is, I will surrender.

SPEAKER_07 56:17

You said it so beautifully, you know, bringing the intimacy and marriage, procreation, having children is part of it. Um but as as you know, throughout the history, even but in the old testament days, the um Baal worship and all of these false gods, Mole, the yes, they were all about distorted sex.

Sexual Integrity Resources For Families

SPEAKER_19 56:37

Very you use a nice word distorted, I would say depraved. I would say anti-priving diabolical, which is Diablo, the devil. It is nasty and it is painful and hurtful. Explicit movement. What's your mission, Pastor Michelle?

SPEAKER_07 56:53

Well, we want to see young people walk in sexual integrity and leading others to do the same. And you know, we know that parents and leaders, it can be awkward to talk about sex and sexuality topics, right? It's talent. It is the talent because we don't sometimes our own parents never knew how to talk. So what we do is we provide faith-based relevant resources so you can have those conversations with confidence.

SPEAKER_17 57:15

Yes.

SPEAKER_07 57:15

Because we know if you are empowered, yes, you can help guide and direct young people to avoid damaging experiences. So good, right? Damaging experiences. And instead help them to know how to have thriving, healthy relationships in God's timing and in his design.

Closing Reflections And Final Song

SPEAKER_20 57:49

Give me everything, everything you need for me. If we're meant to be meant to be and I don't wanna I don't wanna wait a second mor if you already know I need you to tell me I need love and if it's love that you bought you smile but I give you a love and if it's love can share this love in me and the ask if you can share this love with me if you can share this love.