Breaking the Silence on Childhood S*xual Abuse

The most dangerous place for a child can be the place everyone assumes is safest: home, family, and trusted circles. We sit down as two sister friends to talk plainly about childhood sexual abuse, incest & the generational silence that lets horrific harm repeat. Charlotte shares the reality of being abused at multiple ages, the freeze response that can make a child feel voiceless & the gutting 2024 revelation that forced her to re-see her father & their family history. It’s raw, faith-forward, & meant to bring freedom instead of shame.

We also zoom out to the bigger picture of child sexual assault prevention. We talk about why abuse is not limited to any one culture, while still naming how tight-knit communities can unintentionally protect offenders through “don’t air dirty laundry,” pressure to honor elders, & fear of conflict. Join us as we connect the dots of trauma, poverty, substance abuse, domestic violence & incarceration as risk amplifiers. We also talk about why survivors often get re-victimized when they tell others.

Then we get practical: Safe & Sacred Touch, body safety education, & a memorable ABCDEF acronym. The line we keep coming back to is simple and urgent: Sexual abuse stops when the silence stops. We also address grooming through gaming and DMs, safe adults and safe spaces, and how childhood trauma can echo into CPTSD and vulnerability to trafficking. 

If you care about protecting kids & supporting survivors with compassion & clarity, listen and share with someone in need. Subscribe, leave a review, and send us your thoughts: what helps a person feel safe enough to speak? If you're in Hawai'i, a great resource organization to contact is www.HoolaNaPua.org. 

IG @DawnOBrienHI

FB Dawn O'Brien HI

www.ChooseAloha.org

IG @alohaalivepodcast

youtube.com/@AlohaAlivePodcast

Transcript

Welcome And Content Warning

SPEAKER_02 0:27

Aloha, welcome to Aloha Alive. I'm Auntie Dawn, the host, and this is a dear sister friend of mine for many years, I won't say decades, but it's Charlotte Yamamoto from Camp Agape Church. Welcome, Sister Charlotte.

SPEAKER_03 0:41

Welcome. Thank you so much for having me.

SPEAKER_02 0:43

Now, this is a tough topic, as we just warned you on screen before coming in to watch it. Please make sure that all is well with you and your house, especially if there are children present. Let's get right to the point. Sexual assault against children is, according to studies, too often perpetuated by a family member or a family friend. Sis, you and I recently had a very difficult discussion. You had a recent revelation with your family members. Can you tell us your

Charlotte Shares Early Abuse Memories

SPEAKER_02 1:15

story? Sure.

SPEAKER_03 1:18

I guess the first time that I can remember being sexually abused was when I was three years old. I still remember the time that my cousin, um, it wasn't just one cousin, it was a group of us together. So I didn't at that time didn't fully understand what was going on, but I realized that something felt wrong about that. And then of course it happened again when I was nine years old, and then again when I was 11 years old, and then again when I was 14. So something about getting to know our culture in the Polynesian culture, it is very common for parents and children to, you know, have sleepovers, to gather together, have family gatherings, parties where we get to connect with each other. And years later, I remember watching that movie Once We're Warriors. Yes. It was such a difficult movie to watch for me because I realized that it had mirrored my own life in so many ways. And I think at that the beginning of that, I realized that it wasn't just about the trauma, it was more about the family and the culture that was in it. So fast forward um as I realized the shock of everything that was happening to me, this trauma that was more so relatable to our Polynesian culture, I started to find my voice because I thought about the times when I was so young, I was frozen, and I felt like my body was outside of my body, an out-of-body experience. And I remember feeling like I was frozen and I was screaming at the top of my lungs, but I had no voice. And I realized that your brain, in so young, being so young in that capacity, isn't able to fully understand what's happening to your body in that moment. So for me, it took me to a place where I was starting to understand the ramifications of the magnitude of the abuse that had happened to me in in those moments. And then nothing, of course, later on, it nothing prepared me for what I found out in 2024. And

The 2024 Revelation That Shattered Trust

SPEAKER_03 3:40

that was one of the worst years of my life. Um, I had met a first cousin for the very first time who basically told me that she wasn't my first cousin, she was my half-sister, and that my father had molested her older, um her older sister. She was the product. Um she's three years younger than me. I had to think for a moment what that meant because right after she said that, she proceeded to tell me that's not even the worst of it. And I thought to myself in that moment, what could be worse than finding out that your father is a child molester of his own niece? She said one word, and that word was um my niece, my oldest niece's name. And then it it triggered in me uh the memories that he had done that to my sister, my oldest sister, and my oldest niece, who is the spinning image of my father. It now made sense of the things that um that went on in my life. And I realized, you know, in that moment my heart dropped. I felt like my soul was just it ripping apart. Um even to gather in that moment, I can't even explain what what it felt like, Dawn. It was more so of my entire life, my childhood just being shattered to pieces. The father that I had grown to love and uh always thought of a role model. In that moment, I realized all of my trauma had come full circle of what I was feeling. And I realized that this was something that I needed to share to be healed from. I realized that it wasn't even my story to continue sharing, but the connections of why this is so important, you know, to share with not just my family, with the viewers, with the world. It has to be it has to be shared.

SPEAKER_02 5:57

Thank you for saying that and for sharing that. Your story, Charlotte. I remember sitting with you in a small cafe when you first You know, we're sisters. We are yeah, we are bonded by God's blood. We're we've been family or ainga. You're Samuel, I'm Tongen. And none of the any of the old clashes between our people matters to us because we're in the family of Christ. However, when you shared that story, it was an extremely difficult time. Let me just clarify for those who are joining us that you're

Culture Respect And Secrets That Protect Predators

SPEAKER_02 6:30

saying um when you said that wasn't even the worst part of it, was they said the name, and that your dad had been with your sister and fathered a child. Yes. That's amazing. Thank you for being so transparent. Now, I love what you shared towards the end of that, that you are doing this to bring freedom, to bring hope. We are shining the light on something that I think is altogether too common. I don't just think it, according to many studies and statistics. Our people, and I say that for the Polynesian people, again, you're someone I'm Tonguin. I have many sisters in the Hawaiian culture as well, who share that this is an issue. There was some pushback even recently that, you know, child sexual assault, molestation, um, incest, rape, let's call it for what it is, and we're being very sensitive that this is not just a Polynesian culture thing. And we know that we are not saying this to hurt anybody or shame anybody that really doesn't help anyone. However, for me, in my experience with my family and with my sisters and my cousins, when these things were spoken about or by the children who are very young and myself very young, the uh response to that was almost twice as devastating as for me. And I'm talking about my experience, it was twice as devastating as the the incident. And for me, it was one time as an 11-year-old, and I said it and it stopped. But can you tell us, um, Charlotte, in your opinion, or if you've seen studies, is it as pervasive in the Polynesian culture as we think it is?

SPEAKER_03 8:11

Yeah, um sexual sexual abuse, it's not unique or prevalent to just Polynesian cultures, a social, economic group, community. It is prevalent everywhere in the world, unfortunately. And it's also important. Thank you for addressing that. It's important to address the fact and the sensitivity to carefully say, I love my culture, yes, my heritage. We're very there's some beautiful, family-oriented, it's amazingly beautiful in that it's community-centered, very spiritual, and there's some so much beauty in it. Yes, but we also have to voice the concerns and the generational traumas and the cycles, which I believe is why it's prevalent in the Polynesian culture. A lot of it has to do with the colonization where we live, the poverty, the low income, the substance abuse, incarceration, domestic violence. We're all privy to that in the Polynesian culture. It's something that also affects like Native Indians and also Americans. So, with all that in factor, it's still, unfortunately, it's across the board with every single group of people. Yeah, it's not just our Polynesian culture.

SPEAKER_02 9:40

No. But we are addressing an issue that is quite often swept under the rug or hidden. And then when we step into, and there I thank you for recapping so many of the beautiful strengths of our people, but if we're to cover the strengths in order to give you the full picture, and I often say just let me tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me God, I will swear on a Bible. Our experience and what we've seen with our people, both for the Samoans, for the Tongans, and here in Hawaii, is that there is a large prev uh pervasive prevalence of child sexual assault. And we're talking about all the full spectrum of that from a molestation to year-long, years long. You mentioned once we're warriors. You know, I've only ever seen that once. Yes, me too. I couldn't endure it a second or third time. Uh it was very almost accurate to the way that you see an incident, whether it's domestic violence or an assault of a child, and then how the response to that is to either ghost, mock the victim, cover up. But before we even get to that, and I'm so thankful once we're warriors exposed some of that and started to give us a voice. But let me ask you, in your humble opinion, why is this such a pervasive problem and issue?

SPEAKER_03 11:00

Yeah, I feel like the number one reason would be because there's so much unresolved childhood trauma.

SPEAKER_00 11:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:09

Our culture in the Polynesian um realm is to sweep any everything under the rug or don't talk about it, it never existed. To kind of um when you think about our elders, we have to pay homage and respect to them. So they're almost without blemish. Yeah. Not understanding that it's a generational cycle that will continue if it's not addressed. And so that unresolved resolutions, it will never go away until we we actually come to terms with how to resolve it.

SPEAKER_02 11:44

That's so good. I'm glad you said it. In Christianity, we call it um transgenerational curses, yeah, right? So many generations passing it on, and in psychology, in uh just the secular realm, it's called transgenerational patterns. And so in my family, some of those patterns or curses has been alcoholism, and then there was the pornography addiction. There's also um this sexual assault. And in our family, what was said often on the um palungi side or on the Caucasian side is we don't air our dirty laundry, we don't talk about it. And that was difficult because I'm not gonna be able to process it. Now there's a time and a place to process these uh traumas, childhood traumas. Thank you for bringing that up. But on the Tongan side, same thing, a lot of the cultural respect for our elders. Um, we come from, and you said it, we're very faithful people. We have a lot of religion in our family. It was my grandfather who was the Faife Kao, Faife Ao, right? The pastor of our church, he was also the minister of agriculture, and so he was a high-ranking government official as well as a high-ranking church official. And so when I spoke about my experience to my grandmother the next morning after the incident, it was quickly addressed in front of the whole family in a way that it was made a joke out of, and that I was called the liar. So the victim is re-victimized, and then it was never spoken about again because the 11-year-old needs to get over it right. And she was I was really confused until later when a sister of mine, who was younger than I was, so she had experienced it at a younger age, confessed it to our parent, our dad. And then um I realized that's exactly what had happened to me. As a child growing up in Tonga, we didn't have modern Western media, we didn't watch movies or hear the rap songs or anything with sexual content. And so I didn't realize what had been done to me was in fact wrong, and that it was sexual. Uh, but often there's the first touch is taken away by a family member or just experimentation, right? So I we are speaking against this, not to um shame or blame. Nobody wins in the shame blame game. We're not fault-finding here. We are shining the light, like it says in the Bible, John 1:5, that the light shines and the darkness will not overcome it. Romans 12, 21, God also says that you are not to be overcome by evil, but we overcome evil by doing good. And that's what my sister Charlotte and I are doing today is we're speaking against and we're invading some of the dark closets and the dark rooms and the dark pits where these demons and we're addressing

Faith Lens On Darkness And Pushback

SPEAKER_02 14:30

the spiritual principalities. We're not talking about men or women who are doing it. And it is both sexes, as I've heard from some of my Samoan brothers and Tongan sisters and our culture, it's aunties and uncles who are perpetuating it, or even mom and dad, as you just shared so bravely. And so we are going against these powers and principalities to shine the light into the darkness and to set captives free and to give hope where there may be hopelessness. Spiritually speaking, why is this also, Charlotte? Would you address that? We said um some of the culture of why, because we respect the older elders, we respect high-ranking officials because there's poverty in our culture quite often with colonization. But spiritually speaking, I I would start by saying, I see that it started from the beginning of time, or even in the beginning of my Bible, because this is my measure, my ruler of life, that we see that the gods of Molek and Kemosh, I think I'm saying it right, they would sacrifice children to that. Here in Hawaii, I visited the big island this last week, and there are heao or altars to demigods where they sacrifice children. The more children you sacrifice, the better it is. We see in modern media today, you know, the Epstein Island things and that uh there's pedophilia. And again, we're addressing hard topics, so please be aware, but we need to talk about it to shine light into darkness and to speak truth into deception. But when I see modern day media where you have only fans, which is a website that pimps children, pimps young girls and young boys. And so again, it goes back to that altar where children are being sacrificed into um the desires of other people. Spiritually speaking, why is this happening, Charlotte?

SPEAKER_03 16:16

In your humble view, it's it's just like the Bible says when you allow the enemy in to one door, you're not gonna ever have him leave. And so, even like you said, from the beginning of time back in the day when we didn't know better, even before our people probably read the Bible, they just did whatever they did, right? So, generationally speaking, uh obviously we know that they did follow demigods, they sacrificed our children, our ancestors, and they did some obsequious acts that are unmentionable for us because we know that they are all from the enemy, the devil. So once you open that door, it's gonna stay open. And there's a lot of things that come in with that evilness. Yes, and so you're never gonna get rid of it unless you know how to battle it.

SPEAKER_02 17:07

And so that's where I have to come into this, sis, and woman to woman, sister to sister. Why are you talking about this? We've said it a few times, but I just want to give you the chance to respond to what I imagine is gonna be a strong pushback from both of our peoples, right? Even our my own family has asked me to just calm down on this topic. Yeah, and and you went full bore as soon as that incident happened to you and your cousins in 2024. We sat down in that cafe, we spoke, and I just want to ask you and give you the chance to respond. Why is this such a passion of your heart now to set the captives free and shine the light on this darkness?

SPEAKER_03 17:44

Yeah, I think you have to think about the ramifications of what it's doing to our world. Every nine minutes, uh, a child sexual abuse case comes to light every minute dozens of sexual predators prey on the innocent. Every hour, hundreds of thousands are sexually abused. Every day, tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands. So my I guess you could say my tagline is these are just the cases that are reported, Don. Many sexual abused incidents are not reported. Exactly. Are not reported, exactly, are not reported. Yes. So what does that tell you? There are many more. Why am I bringing light to this subject? Why aren't more people bringing light to this subject? Yes, ma'am. It's so important because it's literally in every single economic group, social group, yeah, culture, family, INA, institution, church, everywhere. It's everywhere. This is exactly why we need to shine the light on this subject. Yeah it's not talked enough, it's out there everywhere. Yeah. And it's killing our children. Not just our children, but our brothers, our sisters, our mothers, our fathers, our friends, our families.

SPEAKER_02 19:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:24

Everyone is affected by this.

SPEAKER_02 19:27

Thank you, Charlotte. And it's a spiritual wound. I was gonna add to your point of most of us have gone through it. You know, I just had Pastor Jonathan Steper, Kalihi Union Church, who loves and knows you and your husband, Pastor Roy from Camp Agape um camp, as well as the Camp Agape Church and then the Camp Agape Prison Ministries. And Pastor Steeper said, Wow, you're gonna talk about that topic. And I'm pretty sure he started instantly praying for us because he's a man's prayer. But he said, Don, I had the fortunate experience in my life being a pastor's son who didn't have to experience that. But I am the exception, not the norm. I said, May I quote you, sir? Yeah. He goes, Most of a lot of people have experienced it, but I did not. And that's a big topic you two are taking on. Um, I want to ask you next, thank you for having the courage to do it. Because a lot of people don't, and I think exactly because the shame of the incident upon us, um, people around us asking us not to talk about it, and then there's also then up a negative pushback, not just the silence, but then there's and the ghosting or the projecting on you're the issue, you're the one who did it, you had, you know, recently somebody said you had too many drinks, you did this. And I'm like, wait a minute, why is it about the victim? But um, then there's negative action being taken against truth tellers. So we're standing in that gap and doing it. My third question I just asked you, and so we're gonna move forward. I just said, is it as pervasive as it seems, impacting many

Safe Touch And The ABCDEF Framework

SPEAKER_02 21:00

in the aingah, which is samo and family, famili, which is tong and family, or ohana. So we covered some of that. What's the best way to make sexual assault stop? And before we get to letting you do that, let me just say if you are watching and you're underage, if you're a child, Auntie Don often teaches in schools. I teach choose aloha. And we always say that your safe box of safe touch or sacred touch, we always save sex for after marriage, right? Between a man and a woman. And God's gonna help you do that, sweetheart. God has a plan. It's all in this book, it's black and white, and it's real simple. I didn't say easy, I said simple, but listen to Auntie Dawn. Safe, sacred touch is anything that doesn't hurt someone, and there's usually between the shoulders all the way down to your knees. They're not touching your private parts, they're not um touching breast, chest, your genitals, your butt. So anything between the from your knees up unto your shoulders. Is the sacred area. They can pat your shoulder, that's okay. Hugging at a distance, pretend there's a Bible was the way I was raised up in youth group, a Bible between you and the gentleman. And this has helped Auntie Dawn in most situations to stay in the safe and sacred touch zone. So that's the first and foremost. There's a lot more scientific and more complicated ways to teach that. But as I try to teach, I just bring the cookies down to the bottom shelf so that everybody can get it. If that's okay with you, that's how we're gonna define safe and sacred touch is outside of that safe box. So now, Charlotte, as I was gonna ask you, um, what's the best way to make unwanted sexual touch happen?

SPEAKER_03 22:42

Yeah, I love that you have I have an uh uh I guess it's an analogy of sexual abuse. It's uh it's like my A B C D E F Love it. Uh sexual abuse is any act, behavior, contact, devious exploitation forced upon anyone without their willful consent. Wow. So just remember the A B C D F. Please say it again. That was so good. So the sexual abuse is any any act, behavior, contact, devious exploitation that is forced upon anyone unwilling without their consent.

SPEAKER_02 23:19

That's so good because even the EF was exposure because we know it happens online, and then you see a lot of revenge videos or pictures, it's force. It was not your choice, and then you get bullied, and this leads to a very downward spiral. Thank you for that A B C D E F. Now, what's the best way to make unwanted A B C D E F from happening?

SPEAKER_03 23:41

Super easy. I'm gonna say it and shout it from the rooftops until everyone in the world can hear. Sexual abuse stops when the silence stops.

SPEAKER_02 23:52

Wow, come on now. You heard it. It stops because silence is compliance, right? You are aiding and abetting a predator or a criminal, and it is against the law of man and it's against the law of God. Let us be clear. So stop.

SPEAKER_03 24:07

Yeah. My favorite, one of my favorite scriptures is is Ephesians 5 11 where it says, have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, rather expose them. Good. And so when you think about that, telling your seat telling your secrets were never meant to be secrets. Come on, you have to have a voice to bring that sexual abuse to light. It has no place in the darkness. And so when you uh give a voice to that silence, sexual abuse will start to uh absolutely heal the person or persons, whoever it's affecting. It starts with stopping the silence.

SPEAKER_02 24:49

That's good, which means if you stop the silence, the opposite is speak. And that was what I did the next morning after my incident with my grandfather, my maternal grandfather, is I spoke up. And even though I was shamed and blamed, essentially, um, it never happened again. So I uh one Christian counselor I went to in college when I was dealing with it finally and given a voice, it took many years, even after I told my my dad at the age of I think I was like a freshman in high school, so 13, 14, uh, there were many years until I went to college in California, saw a Christian, a female counselor, and she heard my story. And I said, My grandma told everybody and she made fun of me at the table in front of the whole family. And my grandpa was sitting there listening. But um, she said, Don, I'm so glad you were able to share that. Thank you for being so courageous. Did he ever do it again? And I said, No, he never did. And she said, Perhaps reframe and rephrase, reframe your mind, rephrase. Can you see that your grandma had no other recourse, right? She couldn't do anything except shame him publicly because he never touched you again. He was a high-ranking government official, he was the Fife Cao uh pastor in your church, and he never did it again. Come to find out much later. He was a chronic serial child molester who had started many decades before I was even born with the first marriage and those kids, and then my grandmother and her children. And so um, so speak up. Do not remain silent. Yeah, and that was one of the first things I would advise if you feel safe and are in a safe space, if you're able to tell an authority, a teacher, a counselor, um, an auntie or uncle. I would uh in my experience, that's what worked best, and that is one of the first things I see in the um counseling is tell someone. Yeah, because it makes things stop or change at the very minimum. Is there other um guidelines you would share to make sexual assault stop or molestation?

SPEAKER_03 26:50

I want to say that you you have to make sure in that moment, um especially when you're a child, right? You you you don't even know what that is. And so it's hard for a child to fathom. But if we teach our children early on body safety, that's good, the grooming, those egregious acts that are not ponal, yeah, and teach them that this is appropriate, that this is not, and it's okay to tell someone when it happens, including someone from your own family, because don't make no mistake, 90% of predators come from our own families or family friends, so or family friends. So you have to make uh an adjustment and know that uh it's okay. There's safe safe spaces spaces in and in everything. There's uh safe spaces in schools, in families. If your school or your family isn't safe, then you need to give your children another uh outlet as to what who to contact. Yeah, another safe space. Another safe space. Yeah, you can't you can't have enough.

SPEAKER_02 27:56

I think that's a powerful point and um teaching your kids the right and the wrong. You know, some parents I know are a little sketch or scared of doing that. And I say don't be scared, be prepared, because an ounce of uh prevention

Safe Adults Online Risks And Trafficking Reality

SPEAKER_02 28:10

is worth a pound of cure, especially in the area of sexual assault or molestation of children. Uh nowadays, because of the high level of sexual content online in shows, in books, in magazines, etc., there it's at the tip of their fingertips where you have predators coming in through video gaming, right? We we've talked and heard about some of the video games are used by predators specifically to get to your children. When you prevent and put a spiritual armor on your child because knowledge is power, and you're saying, no, we don't hook up with people in a chat line. You don't need to go into a DM and talk to somebody, you don't need to show a picture, you don't need to let somebody bully you, even if you did share a picture online. It stops here. We stand with our child. It's bad, but we're gonna get through it together. So education is also key. Speak up, and number two is educate your child about safe touch, the A B C D E F, and then how to prevent it from happening. And I love on that note, and I'll end on this we have anti-sex um trafficking organizations like Hoola Napua and others that go into the schools and they also go into conferences, youth conferences, and teach kids how to not become a trafficked victim, how to not become part of these rings of bullying and sexual violence against children. So if you want, you can contact. We have contacts for that as well.

SPEAKER_03 29:33

Yeah, yeah. And that probably leads up to, of course, the what what are some of the ramifications of sexual abuse, which is human trafficking, right? It is the number one crime of the century. There's nothing like it. By far. It out outweighs drugs, violence, everything put together is still less than human trafficking because you can sell a body time after time. You can sell it over and over. That's the one thing that I think people I would like people to understand. And it's not like I have a PhD or I have a doctorate in any of this. This is from my hands-on experience, and please hear my heart when I when I when I say this, it's because I have a passion from what happened to me, but also what I see. I mean, I've been in a ministry, I've been in an organization where we deal with similarities that are absolutely mind-growing.

SPEAKER_02 30:37

You're in Camp Agape, as we've been saying, which is an organization that helps children of the incarcerated, right? Or they say to you and me, like, Mama See or Auntie Don, just say my parents is in prison. You don't have to say incarcerated. Sounds all you know too complicated. But um, their parents are in prison and you see a lot of these cases coming through, and you've dealt with them as a mama see, as a mother to these Hanai children that you have, so many of them. And so we don't have doctorates, we don't have degrees and all of this stuff, but it's a lot of the real life experience that we've been going through with the ministry. So thank you for pointing that out. But the ramifications, the consequences of a child being exposed early to this type of childhood trauma, and we know that the Bible even says the sexual sin is the worst sin that we can commit. It's the sin against the body. Now, in the case of childhood sexual assault or molestation, they didn't commit that sin. It's being committed upon them. But there is a um spiritual uh indent, I will say, right? It's kind of like a car, and you get a dent in that car that can lead to long-term effects. It can lead to long-term harm or damage for that child. There can be, as we know, PTSD, but this is CPTSD. It's childhood post-traumatic stress disorder. Because the predator lives in the home. The predator is part of the family or the family culture, a family friend. And so there's an ever-present threat. It's not an enemy like when you fight a war out on foreign soil, and that enemy goes to their country or their home or their tents for their army. This one lives in your house. And so it's chronic stress, right? Chronic disorder. So thank you for bringing up some of the ramifications. And she's not afraid to deal with it because she is mama C and she's a mama bear. She's a sung on, she's ready to scrap. I'm ready to scrap. And we battle not against flesh and blood, as the Bible says, but against powers and principalities, dark princes in high places, and we're taking them out. But A, remember, as we think solution minded, A is stop the silence and speak up. B is to educate your children and remember the A B C D E F, right? And then C, we would also add, which is right now, is just making sure that you understand the ramifications of not doing it. And if we know that, then we would be more wise to be maka allah, to be seeing maka valu, eight eyes to look all the way around in every direction, and then to take action. So, what is your word of encouragement? If we just took a moment right now, we've been covering a lot of great content. Word of encouragement for women or men, because I do know men who have gone through it, boys or girls who have gone through this childhood trauma.

SPEAKER_03 33:22

I guess I would like to speak to the child that is within all of us and say your life is sacred and your voice matters and you are not alone. And then find your voice and you know, silence the silent you know, find your voice and tell your story, whatever that looks like.

SPEAKER_02 34:01

And I would add to that because that was so good, like find your voice, tell your story. And if your story is offending someone in your family and you they are asking you to continue to be silent, then I'm gonna say this as your auntie Dawn, and I'm pretty sure my sister Charlotte would come into agreement. You have got to find a different support circle, yeah, because that is what Sister Charlotte did. Yeah, my sister, and that is what I needed to do, Don O'Brien, anti-Don, having um having overcome, not just survived childhood sexual assault, uh, sexual molestation, but overcoming it. Thank you that you shared it, that you were three years old and then you were nine years old, and then it was 11 years old. And then 14. And part of those ramifications and 14, wow, um, is that when we go through a trauma, and this is according to the CDC.org, that's the Centers for Disease Control. It's also according to the WHO, the World Health Organization. You can look at NIMH, the National Institute for Mental Health, all of these top organizations that are being trusted for things like pandemics and global issues, health issues, all of these talk about the 10 top childhood traumas that lead to long-term lifetime effects that not those things like a childhood sexual assault can lead to um coping mechanisms like drinking or drugging or uh pornography addiction that then lead to, you know, your go through other health effects that ultimately, when you look at that pyramid on cdc.org, leads to early death, like 20 years earlier than children who didn't struggle with a childhood trauma. So we say this with great compassion and compulsion. I compassion, I feel for you, I'm with you in that, but the compulsion is meaning that I am passionate to say, please stand up for yourself, and that we're gonna speak against this to make it stop. So our word of encouragement is that we are not overcome by evil, but we are overcoming evil by doing good. It doesn't mean I have to ace the good, it doesn't mean I have to be perfect, it just means I'm gonna do something good. And you and I are speaking out, right? That was the first thing. Speak out. Second, we're educating other children and people, even grown children like Charlotte and myself. We're in our late 50s. I actually said that out loud. And then the last the next one is understanding the ramifications so that we learn to equip and protect ourselves. And I would even add one more Kiki, and that's small kiki, big kiki. The

Healing Support Circles Prayer And Aloha

SPEAKER_02 36:40

power of prayer. God is the Holy Spirit, and no weapon formed against us shall prosper. Even if it happened for Auntie Dawn 41 years ago, even if it happened for Sister Charlotte many years ago, we continue to be people, women of prayer. Yeah, and that we are overcoming these dark demons and evil principalities by introducing the Holy Spirit and the living water that continues to cleanse us and flush out a lot of that infection so that we don't become bitter. So I would add is another great powerful spirit action prayer. Amen.

SPEAKER_03 37:14

That's Psalms 34, uh 18 that says uh God loves and he's close to the brokenhearted because he saves the ones that are crushed in spirit. That's one of my favorites for people. You know, I mean we have to come at it because you know it's um not it's not just an important subject, but it's a necessary one.

SPEAKER_02 37:38

It really is. And I can foresee, we're gonna come in for a landing on this next last question, but and I traditionally ask everybody, but I would I can foresee, Charlotte, that this was a first up for us. So forgive us for the some of the roughness and for being blunt and and just point blank with you on a really hard topic. But I can foresee that we can discuss this in greater detail in the future, or there would be a part two, part three, because there is such a need, and we are, I think you're very courageous. I actually didn't want to do this, but my Sunga sister was like, Las go, imwal, we're gonna roll hard on this one. And I was like, Okay, because it's kind of a big topic, but and very powerful people, and and she goes, Yeah, no problem. What's your problem?

SPEAKER_03 38:24

Yeah, I mean, I'm all about let's let's do it, you know, call it out, call it out for what it is, but also, you know, it's definitely a subject matter that has been super passionate in my life for as long as I can remember. Let's bring the darkness into the light. Come on and for all. Come on.

SPEAKER_02 38:43

And remember the day we were at the cafe, you shared your story. I have known Charlotte for a long time, and that her dad was her lifetime hero.

SPEAKER_03 38:50

She was my hero.

SPEAKER_02 38:51

And in that moment, I saw it crashing. We were both kind of crying and staying to ourselves. We were there for like three and a half hours. Yeah. And I noticed that that at one point, like an hour into it, as you were sharing your story, sis, and as women do, there's a lot of details. Spill the whole tea, girl. Make it happen. But the tea. And and and she gave all the details, but the waitress was coming around to the two tables next to me. Slow slow-mo. And like big, the ears were big, but they were growing bigger. And when she had to move us because the lunchtime shift was coming, she said, I'm so sorry I'm gonna move you, but I'm sorry, I was listening. And and she started to cry. It had been her story.

SPEAKER_03 39:28

That was her story too.

SPEAKER_02 39:30

And then after two and a half more hours sitting at the bar of this restaurant, because they had a big uh family party come in and take that back row. We were sitting there, we weren't drinking, don't worry. But uh then the manager stood up when we got up to walk out. And remember, she said, I heard also what you were talking about. This is another woman. This was the manager of the restaurant saying, and anything you should need, please know you have my full support. Too many of us struggle silently, and that's why we're doing this right now. Yeah, you're an aloha hero to me. Last question What is aloha to you?

SPEAKER_03 40:04

Oh, that's a good one. So I was thinking about this for a couple of you know weeks. Um I guess in the lamest terms that I can say it is aloha means to me it's it's it's a lifestyle, it's true to who we are as an ohana, as an aying. Everything that we live and we breathe is all about aloha. And that's what I love about our islands. You know, we're still that even that, even our Pali Islands, the aloha that we give is a way of life, but it's also, I feel like it's God's agape love that pierces through our soul and defines our entire being. Yeah, that's what aloha means to me.

SPEAKER_02 40:50

Powerful, and I've always said aloha is agape, right? And the Pali people get it. We get it. Who is your aloha hero? A person past or present who lives pure aloha and high. Come on, D. Who else but Jesus?

SPEAKER_03 41:05

Come on. But is there any other answer? Does anybody else give you an answer other than Jesus? I just want to know. I just want to know. I've had a few. I'm completely I'm mesmerized if anybody else ever says their hero is no one else but Jesus. Because he he's the deal.

SPEAKER_02 41:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 41:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 41:24

How so?

SPEAKER_03 41:26

I think he gives me there is that one scripture in Matthew that I always come back to because it's all about harming the child, right? It says, you know, if you harm a child, that's right, better for you to have a millstone cast around your neck and you are drowned in the depths of the sea. Yeah. Now, for pee for those peeps, my peeps who are not familiar with what millstone in biblical times a millstone was for grinding grain, but it weighed like 5,000 pounds. Very dense and so, yeah. And so if you have a five thousand on your on your neck, your neck is snapped like a twig. Come on, you're thrown into the depths of the sea. I mean, that imagery that Jesus leaves me with, yeah, he's like my protector. You know, that is in in the instant that I see Jesus as my protector of children, that's what he, that's what he thinks of people. He's like, Don't mess with my children. I will throw you into the sea.

SPEAKER_02 42:27

And in like some pretty graphic hardcore language, this is from Jesus, the guy in mature time to go create and fashion a whip and turn tables in his righteous. I'm sorry, I started sprouting fangs right there. I think he was an uso and a toko as well. He was like ones and the tummy.

SPEAKER_03 42:46

Come on, Jesus for the bottle. Hallelujah. You went all in the hell in, girl.

SPEAKER_02 42:53

Play with me. Don't play with me. I love him. He is the protector from the predators. Absolutely. Thank you for that. We just we showed a little bit of the sung a tonga side to coming out. Very protective in our children. But if you think we flashed you just a little bit right there, imagine Jesus. That's just where we're gonna leave it at. But thank you for that, Charlotte. And thank you once again. That A B C D E F roll it out. What is it? Action.

SPEAKER_03 43:21

Any sexual act, behavior, contact, devious in exploitation forced upon someone unwillfully or against their consent. It's my little, you know, algorithm for my kids, for anybody that wants to. So memorable.

SPEAKER_02 43:38

So memorable, but so important and and some of the ways that we encourage you to take action, whether you're a little cakey or a grown cakey, is to first and foremost, you want to say something, don't remain silent. If people are trying to silence you further, because I get it as somebody who had been um double victimized by sharing my um experience, then find a new support circle. Find somebody who will support you because there are people all around. And then B is educate your children on what is safe and sacred touch. C, understand the ramifications and armor last one, pray and put on your spiritual armor, armor your children because we live in a dark and depraved world. And so that is our talk for today. You got the sunnah and the toko, you have a samo and woman, auntie, two mama bears, and the tongan auntie. And we just thank you for joining us today on confronting childhood sexual assault and overcoming as ohana. Because as Romans twelve twenty-one said, do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil by doing good. We love you and God is good. Aloha always twins.