Aloha Alive: The Dawn O'Brien Podcast
Why Aloha? the whole world knows what aloha is--love in Hawai'i--but better to ask WHY ALOHA? the answer is as essential as breath & as fun as whistling, so LET'S GO!
Aloha Alive: The Dawn O'Brien Podcast
This Wasn't Just a Daddy-Daughter Dance
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A tux, a princess dress, a red carpet, and a ballroom full of dads trying not to cry. That’s the surface story of the Daddy-Daughter Prom, but the real story is what happens when a father chooses to show up on purpose and speaks identity into his daughter’s life with no sarcasm, no conditions, and no half effort.
We talk with Russell Kimura, one of the founders of Fathers With Daughters, about why intentional fatherhood changes the standard girls carry into every future relationship. We get specific about the “identity moment” at prom where dads tell their daughters what is true about them, then give a simple keepsake that turns those words into a lasting reminder. We also unpack why this matters so much in a world where attention is cheap, promises are fast, and too many kids grow up without a steady voice at home.
If you’re a busy parent, we keep it practical. Russell shares the “press play” approach to connection, plus ideas for dads who feel awkward, disconnected, or unsure where to start: drive time chats, shared playlists, small wins, and learning to step into your daughter’s world. We also get into the bigger vision: reaching 100,000 fathers, expanding beyond Hawaii, building community through technology, and funding scholarship tickets so more families can be part of the experience.
If this conversation hits home, subscribe, share it with a parent who needs hope, and leave a review so more families can find it. What’s one small way you can show up for your daughter this week?
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Welcome And Prom Night Recap
SPEAKER_00Aloha, welcome to Aloha Alive. And today is prom day. Yes, us. I have with me fathers with daughters founder, or one of the founders, and we'll explain that in just a little bit. My new wonderful friend Russell Kimura. How's it?
SPEAKER_02How's it? Thank you for having me.
SPEAKER_00Thank you for coming, brah. And you can tell straight off the tip of the bat that this guy is a dad to daughters or a girl dad. I was raised by a single dad. So I really already like this guy. But Russell, you guys just came off of having a daddy-daughter prom. Yeah. And there were over 400 people. You made it onto the news in Hawaii. Tell us what is a daddy-daughter prom.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, we we started this uh how many years ago, and this was our fifth annual. It was amazing to see fathers and daughters come in dressed up, daughters in their princess dresses, dads in their suits, their tuxes, you know, flowers and different things. But they come up and they they have their red carpet entrance, and then they get to do all these activities real really geared towards connection, wowing their daughter. And the daughter is like, man, I'm special because dad took me on this epic, I mean, the most epic date you can think of.
SPEAKER_00The most epic epic. Like I saw the news. I'm again, congratulations, congratulations. I I juzged it up for you because I was like, bruh, they were so dressed up. It was the most elegant affair. The girls looked absolutely queen stylish, gorgeous. And so I wore my vintage dress out of my sister's closet. Thank you, Christina. I wore my um Puka Shells from Chinatown. They're not Ni Hall, just to be really clear. I wore my old earrings, but I wanted to look really good. You got your nice styling profiling shades. I love it. But tell us a little bit more why prom and what is the organization you re represent is called Fathers with
Intentional Love That Shapes Identity
SPEAKER_00Daughters. Yeah. What is that?
SPEAKER_02So it's an organization to really help dads connect with their daughters and not just connect, but love intentionally. We believe that as dads show up intentionally for their daughters, their identity, the daughter's identity grows. Yeah. And that's so important because, like you mentioned a little earlier, if the dad doesn't share who they are, someone else is gonna some some guy is gonna come in and maybe tell them they're worthless, but you need to be around and and they just believe it.
SPEAKER_00So we want or they'll say, I love you, some guy at a club. Hey girl, I love you. And and they'll believe it because they never had a baseline foundation of what real love looks like, right? So I love those. Uh I think it's on TikTok, Instagram, social media where you see when your crusty son tries to come up on my daughter, right? And there's a dad being intentionally loving, as you just said, to his daughter, and she's wearing her princess TR, she he's making her pancakes, and then he looks over at the crusty son, right? It's like you ain't got a chance, bro. You ain't got nothing.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I mean it's raising the bar, right? The standard. My dad There you go. My dad did what, you know, there she's used to this is how a gentleman treats me, this is how a godly man speaks into my life, how this is how we resolve conflict, yes, you know, all that kind of stuff, right? It's super important. And if not, it's like if the bar is super low, then any guy can just come in, you know, and then it's just like, oh, that's normal because that's what I know. But if they know something different, and so the goal with the organization is to raise the bar, that the daughters understand that they're worth it, yes, and that they are uh from a young age experiencing identity-shaping activities where the dad is you know speaking life. We have this daddy-daughter moment, and I tell the dads, hey, we do all this stuff for this moment. Yes, and so right in the beginning, I say there and we give them the this uh necklace or something, and I said, Take out the necklace, you're gonna put this around your daughter. But before you do that, you're gonna share with your daughter how beautiful she is, her identity, how how much you love her, what you're committing to her. And it's a ballroom of men crying.
SPEAKER_00I mean, you know, and then you hit that tender moment.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and and and you know, uh last year we had a a daughter, she was four years old, and she brought her seven-year-old dad because her kids couldn't make it. They had to her uh her husband had to take a trip last minute, and she said, Can I bring my dad? 70-year-old granddaughter no, so seven-year-old dad. So she has daughters, but they couldn't make it because the dad had to take a trip, her husband, so she's like, I have tickets, can I just bring my dad? I'm like, You can, it's gonna be younger daughters, but you can. And so she came and they did the photo booth, they did everything, and she said, Russ, that moment I've only seen my dad cry twice in my life. And it was at a funeral and at that father-daughter moment. And it was touching, but it also was sad in that she's 40 years old and she's really only seen her dad show emotion, which is how that gener generation is. Yeah, not gonna show emotion.
SPEAKER_01Exactly.
SPEAKER_02But but my goal and the the idea is these daughters are sh are seeing their dad show emotion, like these big tough brothers show emotion at an early age, and here I'm special, I'm worth it, I'm worthy. All of a sudden, it's like, man, if you hear that at seven, eight, nine, five. Come on, what what is that gonna do for for her identity as she grows up, believing who she is, you know, how her heavenly father loves her, but as well as her her earthly father. And so that moment, I tell him, this is I do this all for this moment. And then this year we did a um a moment back to the dad. I said, now, dads, daughters, you're gonna speak to your daughter, your dad.
SPEAKER_00Oh, wait, what? So they gave a gift.
SPEAKER_02They gave this bracelet to their dad.
SPEAKER_00Let's see it, hold it up. Yeah, best girl dad ever.
SPEAKER_02And so the daughters, hey, maybe it's just a thank you for bringing me to prom or dad, I love this about you, or whatever. And then I and then I tell them, anytime you look at that bracelet, anytime you look at the necklace, remember the words that were spoken over to you at this prom. So it's like the prom is great. There's a reminder beyond the prom. Hey, we got this thing, and this is what dad says about me. Maybe when someone's saying these mean words, they can remember, hey, but you know what? I remember what my dad said about me.
SPEAKER_00That's right. Identity shaping moment. Absolutely. And it's something that, like with that 40-year-old and her 70-year-old dad, you're never gonna forget that. Those are the moments and the memories that are miracles, and you hold them in your heart, in the treasure chest of your heart. You gather these moments, is what I always say, and you're gonna pocket that in. I love that you said a couple of things I want to recap for our ohana. It's uh dads who are loving intentionally, right? Even possibly stepping out of your comfort zone, right? Like putting on that tux, going to a dance with your daughter, but it's loving intentionally towards a goal, and we're gonna talk about that goal. But second is identity shaping for the daughters. You know, I was just talking with you before we started this podcast, God cast, and I was telling Russell that I watched one of my favorite dads who's also uh a combat veteran, he's a military hero, he's a conservative and a wonderful Christian man. His name is Nick Freitas Jr. Do you you know who that is too? And he was talking about because he's a daddy of daughters as well. He was talking about counsel to men, but he said, Um, you know, I try to intentionally invest in my daughters ever since they were born, since, you know, the date, night that they were born. He said, I didn't know I was being kicked out of the hospital. There were certain visiting hours I probably wouldn't have left, but I didn't know, so I stayed. And I was there's a great picture of him holding his daughter as a little girl being just born. But he said, you know, you keep speaking things into their lives every single year. People ask him now because his daughters are grown, they've gotten married, and uh he said, Well, do they remember all the things that you did? And he goes, you know, they may not remember every single thing, but when they're five, they're probably gonna remember what I said when they were three years old, and that I did daddy-daughter tea times with just the plastic cups and little, you know, little trinkets that they made. But then at eight, they're gonna remember what I said at five. At eighteen, they'll remember, especially in those hard teenage years, they're gonna remember the things and and the times I sat in the car talking to them. So thank you for saying that, Russell, and making an opportune moment. And this is like a glam queen king moment where a dad gets to show his daughter the definition of real and true unconditional love. Which we get from our ABBA father. But um, what is the goal of fathers
The Press Play Plan For Busy Dads
SPEAKER_00with daughters? We kind of alluded to that right now.
SPEAKER_02We kind of alluded to it, and the goal is to reach 100,000 fathers.
SPEAKER_00Okay, hold that down.
SPEAKER_02100,000, you know, yeah, fathers, because it I mean, that's just a starter goal, but the the goal would be that a generation of of fathers with daughters coming up would be transformed because the standard is different. Yes, because there's intentionality. We put intentionality to it it it kind of blows my mind how and I'm not bashing men, but how wildly fanatic men can be about their sports team.
SPEAKER_00Oh my gosh. You know, I mean she said it. I had okay.
SPEAKER_02I mean, I'm not I'm not judging, I'm just saying it's great. I love the the fanatic. Yeah, that's awesome. Let's go. Like that's great.
SPEAKER_00I know a lot of sports widows, friends of mine, who have their guys watching TV, and it's every season, every sport. Baseball, football, golf, ping pong. I mean lacrosse.
SPEAKER_02And it's great. We love to to be fanatical about things, but why not be fanatical about our daughters? Is my is my thought. Come on. Because that that is our that is our investment that will I tell dads invest often and early, early and often, because that dip that's gonna pay dividends in your relationship long term. That's good. And so the idea of if if dads could get fanatical about their daughters, I just I see a generation of young women rising up and being different because their dads were intentional. I say you don't drift you don't yeah, you don't drift into connection. You don't you have to be intentional. You don't just like oh someday and hopefully it's actually intentionality. And the thing I find about a lot of these girl dads, or many dads in general, is we're busy. We got so many things, so it's like I want to, I it's not that they don't want to connect with their daughters, they're just busy. But if I do the easy button and say, look, I plan this whole thing, you just press play and come. Wow, that's so I noticed guys are starting to come more because it's like, hey, I I don't I'm busy, you don't know how much I'm carrying, and I understand that. Yeah, so the goal of fathers with daughters is to to build this organization or this movement where there's regular, and I already have about monthly uh father-daughter moments or activities, events, but I'd love to do that more and and continue. I mean, I I see a world where we're doing one every weekend, every something, you know, our team is building where they're like, I can't make down, but I can't make that one. I can't make down, but I can make that one. Great, because we have so many, and then they're like, I can show up and they want to, and that's the cool thing is I see these dads like, oh man, I'm gonna miss that one. I missed that one, but I can come to the next one. They want to just make it easy and uh no.
SPEAKER_00I like how you said that. Just press play because and and I'm sorry I kind of laid into the sports thing earlier because I want dads to feel encouraged if you're watching, if you see this Instagram clip or TikTok clip, but I want you to be encouraged because a lot of dads, as you said, they want to, they have an absolute passion, they love their daughters. Maybe they don't have the time, or maybe they don't have the talent where they were maybe not raised in a home where there was intentional parent time or daddy-daughter dates or mommy-son dates, right? So they may not know that, but you have these press play moments. And then I also want to say that in the state of Hawaii, where we are broadcasting from and where we live, we have the highest cost of living. Dads and moms have to work two, three jobs in one home to make it work. So it's not that our parents don't love their children, it's because they do love their kids that they're working so much, right? Yeah, but if we have these, and I love that you said press play moments, events, then they can make it right. Like, I don't have to plan a huge picnic, I have one I can go to with the father daughter team. Yeah, wow. Okay, so how did you get inspired to start?
From Zoom Prom To Live Events
SPEAKER_02Well, it started with my daughter. So I have three girls and Ava Joy, Lily Grace, and Belle Faith. Ava's 17, Lily's 15, and Belle is 14.
SPEAKER_00Beautiful, and I and you're married, so give mom credit too.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and and my my beautiful wife of 20 years as of June. So as well, congratulations. I love you, honey. Um, what's her name? Sarah. Sarah Kmer. Yeah, beautiful, gorgeous. So the girls are gorgeous to credit to their mom. Yeah, she holds the club. She's a super mom. Super mom, does it all, and she helps with our prom. I mean, she was there like at the door prize table and doing this and helping all this kind of stuff. But um, you know, I was taking my daughters to the New Hope Proms, you know, uh back at San Island when they did it. As soon as I saw that.
SPEAKER_00Oh, is that the one with Andrea Tupola and the younger? No, it's different.
SPEAKER_02This was um back in 2013, 14. And they had daddy daughters. What they were doing is a it was a fundraiser for their arts program ministry. Oh, yeah. It was like a great idea, you know. And so Wayne would come up there and speak a little bit. They uh I think Tiffany Thurston did a testimony about her dad. They did some really cool things, and I I was like, as soon as I saw it, I looked around. This is great. And then I I I saw the model. I was like, you know what? We could do this. Well, no, okay, I backtrack. I so I took them year after year, then COVID happened. Yes, and everything shut down. Right. And my daughters go, Dad, are we gonna go prom? I was like, Oh, you're not no one's gathering.
SPEAKER_00We didn't have graduation, we didn't have prom we didn't even have school. No, you can't go to the store. We couldn't even go on the beach.
SPEAKER_02We're like, uh so we're in our home. I was like, Well, but what if we did a zoom prom? And that's how it started.
SPEAKER_00Really?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and so so I was like prom on a zoom.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so that's explained.
SPEAKER_02That's my first prom. That's the fifth annual. So we've four in person. The first one was in Zoom, but I count that because I said, you know what, girls, let's what if everyone's doing everything in on Zoom? What if we did a Zoom prom? And so I, you know, out of creativity and my daughters, I was like, let's just try it. And I said, Okay, Dad. So I threw it out there. I said, decorate your space, dress up, we're gonna dance. Uh Johnny Sweet played a little bit of music for us. Oh, really? Uh we had rap game, game, gimme gimme games, raffles, giveaways, and then my daughter and I shared a little message, and then I had my mentor from college who has three daughters share a little message, and we just we had a fun time. There's about like 30, 40 dads and daughters on there.
SPEAKER_00I love that because I've heard a quote that says, uh, desperation is the mother of invention, and all of us can relate to 2020 lockdown when nothing was going on. You did this in 2021, right? And we were still in lockdown, the three-week lockdown that lasted just a little bit longer than that. And so you figured out Zoom plus were at home and and it went off.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, and so a little seed was planted there, and then in 2023, when things started to kind of open up again, I uh I was asking Pastor Ju and people at Inspire, like, I I would love to do a father-daughter prom. Could I just use the space? And they graciously allowed me. I said, I'll run it, you know, just allow me the space. They did, and uh it that's where it started.
SPEAKER_00Wow, and thank God for Inspire Church and Pastor Mike and Lisa Kai and the entire staff, because it really is an army of a staff, but they invest in so many things and they're risk takers, which is a huge thing that inspires me. Stop sitting in your comfort zone. Oh and you're you had a vision, but you needed people to partner with that. Absolutely. Okay, great. So describe what happens at a daddy-daughter prom now that you're back to live and not
What Happens At Daddy Daughter Prom
SPEAKER_00in Zoom.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, well, it's it's again epic and elegant. We tell our teams this is what our our our goal is. It's epic and elegant, right? Well, we want it to be where the daughters are gonna go to the high school prom and be like, this is prom.
SPEAKER_01What?
SPEAKER_02And and honestly, that's gonna happen. I I because we do it like almost like we do it not carnival style, but we have all these vendors and they're you know, and it's super beautiful. We have like a red carpet entrance, now we have step and repeat and a red carpet tunnel that they walk into through the yeah, they walk through the into the ballroom. This is better than the Grammys, let's just be honest. I think the Naho Kus will start taking some notes from you guys. We got yeah, so we and we always think about ways to level it up, but but they walk in with their their dad, dad and daughter, and hand in hand they take pictures, and then there's all these different activities that the daughters and dads can engage in. So from uh henna tattoos to a balloon artist to two photo booths, 360, the whole thing.
SPEAKER_00You guys had a butterfly tent. Butterfly tent. Oh my gosh, I never even heard about that until you came and told me about that today.
SPEAKER_02It was a hit, so shout out to Darlene. We they had this butterfly tent, about 50 live butterflies, they go in and they can they'll rest on you and take pictures and and girls love butterflies. They loved it. They loved it. And so it was a butterfly theme. And then so they can they can engage the the activities for about an hour. Then we start the program, we do the daddy-daughter moment, which is the best moment ever. Then right after that, is we get into the program and we have a whole bunch of different things for the dads and daughters to well, obviously, we have great food there and everything, but while they're eating, we do a program, and so we have a daddy-daughter dance competition where like we we pre-pick and say, Hey, you sign up for the competition, we give them a 30-second clip, and they gotta choreograph this dance together. So the same song, same song, and then three different couples, uh dads and daughters come up and perform and dance. That's really fun. Uh, we've we've uh last couple years we've fl flown in a a speed painter, and so what she does is she paints in like six and a half minutes this unreal painting, flips it over, and you're like, Oh wow, like it's incredible. So it's like this whole performance, she's painting, and then she flips it over instead of a dad and daughter or a daughter, and this year it was a daughter with a butterfly, and and we auctioned it off for the nonprofit. But then this year after that, we did a dad-daughter painting competition. So we've had dad and daughter come up and paint um you know a butterfly and this and that, and then we vote who's the winner and different things like that.
SPEAKER_00And do they get to keep that?
SPEAKER_02They get to keep the painting.
SPEAKER_00Oh my gosh, so creative. And I'm just thinking, as I teach a lot of neuroscience as part of the choose aloha program, that this is stimulating every part of the brain. It's it's getting the 100% locked and loaded in this miracle moment memory with your dad or with your daughter. Yeah. Okay, so keep going. So then the program keeps going, and of course, you're in this elegant ballroom. This year, you guys were you folks were at the Hilton Hawaiian village coral ballroom. It's duped up, it's decked out. I saw some of the news and the clips, and of course, we're showing them as we speak. But then what what's you come into a landing at the end of the night?
SPEAKER_02End of the night, uh, so well, throughout the night we do door prizes, and so the dads and daughters can win these unreal gift bags, uh, daddy daughter like going to Roy's or High Steakhouse or Wait, what?
SPEAKER_00How do I sign up and just like old single chick show up? Right.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, enter the door prize, like hey, empty Don one, empty Don one one, hey. Super awkward, right?
SPEAKER_00Wait a minute, I'm gonna chicken as an MC, right?
SPEAKER_02And scope out the lab. No, I'm just kidding. I'm telling you. And speaking of MC, we had Pastor Brandon Ahu and his daughter.
SPEAKER_00He's phenomenal.
SPEAKER_02Unreal. Oh my gosh. But this year we we had him and his daughter do it, which is so cool. She's like, Okay, the the door prize is and she's reading off the the ticket, and it was just super fun to have them do it together as a picture of a daddy daughter. Uh, it was really fun to have them. Our grand prize was like a one-night stay at Halepuna. We had a flat screen TV, we had the dolphin experience at Kahala. So these guys are winning some epic prizes.
SPEAKER_00So for the ticket price, which is it's about comparable to going to a prom, right? And you get all dressed up, you have this massive experience, as you said, epic and elegant. You're also able to win these huge prizes for the ticket price.
SPEAKER_02Well, it's like the yeah, because yeah, the you get a ticket when you come in, so you can actually. We obviously encourage if you want to support a nonprofit, you can do more. But at the end of the day, everyone has an opportunity to win, which is really cool.
SPEAKER_00And what's even cooler, I'm gonna double down on your this is really cool. What's even cooler is that you're reinvesting back into future events for fathers with daughters and other daddy-daughter proms. Yeah, I mean it's win-win-winning. It's the 777 ch ching ch-ching ch ching, Jesus jackpot. Everybody's winning on every single scale.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00This is awesome. Now tell me, is this just gonna be in
Expanding Beyond Hawaii With Technology
SPEAKER_00Hawaii?
SPEAKER_02So the goal is to expand. And in fact, my daughter, she's going off to Spokane to do culinary school in September. I don't first one leaving the NESC. Wow. And I said, hey, because I went to school in Spokane at Whitworth College, so I said, let's do one in Spokane. So we're gonna do a prom, a father-daughter prom in Spokane in December. Very sneaky way to stalk your daughter, by the way, keeper dad. I don't have any uh I've said it clearly. I it's my secret way or non-secret way to stay connected with her. Hey, we gotta do our prom meetings, hey, we gotta talk, we're gonna be on the phone, we're gonna be doing all these things. It's my way of staying connected with her. Absolutely. But that's just my way of doing things where we're gonna do these things together and we'll have a mission together, and we're gonna do you know fun things together while putting on the promise.
SPEAKER_00I'm joking completely because I love that you're doing exactly what you said is that connection doesn't happen by accident. It's being an intentionally loving dad. And and she's been raised up for the last 18 years. I'm assuming she's 18. I know that your wife homeschools 17, 18, going off to college, and you're not just snipping it and saying you're an adult, go off, do your own thing, which is where a lot of us as kids I did, I was raised in a Christian home, but going off to college, I took a deep dive down the party end. Sure. And then I met a lot of guys who were not, you know, the best. They were scrubs.
SPEAKER_01Sure.
SPEAKER_00And I was I was partying as well. So thank you for keeping that connection strong. And that now it's gonna be a daddy-daughter prom in Spokane, Washington. So you're gonna meet the goal of a hundred thousand dads, and it's not just here in the state of Hawaii.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, the goal is I want to you I want to leverage like events, uh, technology, and community to do this. And so the technology piece is I see myself building where I'm already in talks of building an app. And so that father daughter app is gonna allow the dads to connect with their daughters, build community within that app. And so, say we do it in Spokane and say, hey, download the app so you can stay connected with uh the community of FWD fathers with daughters, but also how you can be equipped for more events in your area. Or different things, and then I can launch all of these Swokan branch, Texas branch. I have I have a guy moving to Texas, he's like, I'm in, I want to start a branch whenever you have that all up and ready. I mean, talks in Colorado of doing a prom, and it doesn't all have to be around a prom, but if I can have that technology, yes, because I can only do I do I do monthly calls with dads, I do like this Friday we do these things, but there's only so much of me. But if everyone can have these things, I mean everyone's on their phone, might as well leverage technology to be a better girl dad, be intentional. I want to do it fun, I want to gamify it. I want to I see like you know how there's like CrossFit games. Yes, I see FWE FWD games where guys are competing. Connection. Imagine they're hey, keep the streak alive, you're getting points, and I did this epic daddy-daughter date. Cool, you got like a hundred points for that, and all of a sudden they're all competing, and then maybe they come to if they win a ticket, they can come to Hawaii as a part of their you and they won because they you know whatever. So I mean, that's the kind of stuff I see. Russell than Fathers of Dutters.
SPEAKER_00Back to the Jesus jackpot, 777, because Vegas didn't invent that number. They ripped it off from the good book, right? They copy all the good things. Brah, you are going when you said app, I'm like, wait a minute, is that in my notes here? I didn't see that in the research. But your vision, the vision that God gave you, I'll reframe reset. The vision that God gave you is huge because God is our heavenly father, he is a good father. But what I love listening to this as a woman, as an auntie, as you know, just someone who's saying, we want men to take the lead is A, you're taking that lead. And B, you're setting a framework of practical, simple steps that it can happen and bring guys on board to make it happen. Because that was where I was gonna pivot. And it's gonna sound a little bit negative. I don't mean it to be, but I have to be
Start Small When Connection Feels Hard
SPEAKER_00honest. What if dads don't have a great relationship with their daughters? What if they have no clue? And I'm not I'm not condemning you, I'm not throwing stones, I'm half-toning. We use we build rock walls, so I ain't throwing away lunch money right now. But I don't throw stones. I'm just saying the reality is there's a lot of dads who may not have a great relationship with their daughters. What happens then?
SPEAKER_02Well, that's the whole point. So it starts, so you can use the analogy of like, I mean, what if you're not in shape, right? Well, you just start small and you start somewhere, and so the thing is, yeah. So we just start small, and hopefully you get in around the culture of oh, these guys are working out, or I can just do a little bit and you start to see results. And so I what is starting small? So I would say it's connection, you just start doing something, and so by nature, sometimes daughters are more like mama's girl because they can relate and they like I don't get you and you don't get me, so I just I'm gonna go comfortable with my mom. But I would just say start small, and so for the dad who doesn't have the best relationship with the daughter, you just start small. Maybe it's a conversation starter, maybe it's like volunteering to take her to her practice once a week instead of mom taking her, and so and that drive time you have a little bit. And I've in our um coaching calls with the fathers, I say that's prime time, you know. It's prime you're driving, it's not as intimidating. If I said, Hey, let's go out to coffee, they're like, I don't want to sit across at the table and stare at you. I don't, that's awkward.
SPEAKER_00But if you're driving, you're not really you're doing something because men are task-oriented, and the daughter doesn't feel as intimidated. You can kind of feel like you have a captive captured audience. That's how I was a star on the radio because I had a captive, captured audience. Hawaii has the worst traffic in the nation. That's right. Welcome to my world here. But you're as a dad, you have your daughter, and it's gonna be here in Hawaii 30, 40 minutes to get to her game or practice. That's beautiful. And then just start with something like, what was exciting about today? Yeah, or what are you doing today?
SPEAKER_02Or even sometimes that's too big of a leap because there's not the connection yet, and they don't want to open up to you. So you start small. Say, hey, you wanna uh let's put together a playlist. So you just start with something small. Hey, let's let's have a uh a playlist for our game, you know, and then they can get into music. Okay, we'll put your Spotify and then we're working it together. Which kids do nowadays, right? Just start small, but start, and you do something, and then eventually you start to open up. But if you go for the home run, they might be like, I ain't talking, Dad, yeah, we don't have the connection. Well, let's start with some connection. And and I always tell dads, don't do what you want to do. I mean, it's it's kind of one-on-one, but still don't do what you want to do, do what they want to do. So, what are they excited about and what are they into right now? And you go find a way to get in their world and go be like I told one dad, like, think about how you courted your wife. Yeah, you kind of found what they're interested in, and you you know, go do that with your daughter. What is she into right now? Even if you have no clue what Pokemon is or what demon hunters is, all that stuff, it doesn't matter. No, it doesn't go find a way to connect with her, make it up, right?
SPEAKER_00Pay attention and make it up, drop in a six-seven, drop in. Exactly.
SPEAKER_02And then they think it's corny, so you figure out ways to connect, but at the end of the day, they are longing to connect, but it's just maybe for so long they're like, Oh dad, we just don't know how. But if we just start small and eventually, so this is why I do multiple types of events. We we partner with uh UH Waheine Softball. Wow, and we did an event there, and so the if you play softball, maybe you're not girly girl, I go and go to the prom, but I play softball. I'll go so we did a daddy dollar event at uh the Waheene Softball, and they've got to meet the players and watch the game. We did David Busters. Hey, everyone loves David Busters, just come, we'll go play games together, yeah, you know, or a cookie date or a uh putt putt or whatever. There's so many little things we can do.
SPEAKER_00So I would say to have a shared experience and it it stops being awkward, right? It is hard when but it just the smallest act, and if I might affirm you and affirm the gentleman or the mom who was sharing a clip on Instagram or TikTok, um, as a girl who grew up in a fractured family that had gone through divorce, my dad was the single dad who came back into the picture. I was at that time middle school and then high school, and there were some years that were missed. He had to overcome a lot. But here's what I will say to what you just were talking about. I saw those intentional efforts, even the corny dad jokes, right? Even the he would be taking me somewhere and start by saying, I love you, honey. I hope you know that. And I was like, you know, rolling the eyes, making the loud sighs, but it hit. Whether or not they're showing it, it's hitting. And you and I both know the word of the Lord says, when the word of God goes forth, it does not return void. When you invest dads, even in the littlest way, it might feel like a penny, not a whole hundred or a big check. It might be a penny statement like, Hey babe, I got you, we're gonna go now. That hits, and those consistent investments into or deposits into her heart, she'll hold those treasures because uh to this day, I my dad is one of my biggest heroes, if not the biggest heroes. So thank you for um encouraging the dads and giving practical ways for them to do that on the app or what you're envisioning for the app. Did the app start yet?
SPEAKER_02Uh we're in talks, and and you know, we're we I have ideas for days, it's just a matter of of getting either the funding or figuring out how we're gonna do that. But the other thing that I I tell dads is it's a scary and sobering thought, but your voice is kind of magnified a lot of times in your daughter's head. And so imagine her being 22 and your voice ringing in her head. What message do you want ringing in her head, right? Hey, you never do this, you clean up, oh you're not, you're worthless. How come you never did it, right? If if she hears this critical voice, oh my dad, it sounds like my dad, right? It's in her ringing in her head versus the encouragement versus you can do anything, or maybe you can't do anything, but you can I believe in you, you are enough, right? All these things, and then she's like, Well, she hears that ringing. It's like I say, Dads, it's like you have a Sharpie and you're writing on her brain, she's hearing things, or megaphone. Think about that. Because even if you're joking, be careful. You don't, you know, we might ingest. Oh, are you looking a little chubby? Like, don't joke because it's so powerful, and you don't even know. And you know, guys, we just try and make fun or whatever, right? With our guy friends, we say all kinds of things, but right, we got to be careful with our daughters, especially because they hear it and we don't want it to seep into their their core, and so into their identity. It's super important. And I'm not uh I just I guess I want to say it's sobering, but it's also an opportunity of knowing hey, you have power, your voice is very magnified in your daughter's life. Use that power, speak that identity, be consistent, share love because they're gonna hear it and they're gonna remember. Um, like it's cool because my daughters, at least, yeah, especially my oldest, she says, Thank you for being my biggest cheerleader. Yeah, she hears my go, go in the back of her mind. You can do it, you know. I love that. I'm like, okay, good. She at least knows that's her biggest cheerleader. Yeah, right. And that's a magnified thing. I can I can go take on the world good, right? Go after it.
SPEAKER_00You gave her a really strong foundation from which to launch off of. If you think of a runner, they have to have that block behind them to launch off of. It's not a soft foundation. You laid a really good strong foundation for your daughter, and she's launching well. Uh, I love that you said that. And I was gonna ask you, what's your number one advice for dads, especially dads of daughters? But you just said it. It's that your voice is magnified. And I would liken that to um, you know, instead of it just being on the the volume, instead of it's not it's not a one, it's not a ten. Dads, because of the magnitude of the man that you are and the mantle God has given you into that young lady's life or into even your son's life. If you're watching this, you also have sons, it's it's not a one or a ten, it's about a thousand, it can even be a million. Yeah. And you think that's impossible, right? Not you, Russell, but perhaps you watching are like, no, not my words to my kids. But I'm telling you, as a young girl who grew up with my dad, and he wasn't a perfect dad either. There were times where, like you said, his humor would fall flat and he would make some kind of remark about my looks or about me going to a dance and you know, um uh, you know, asking the whole football team and what kind of girl I was. And I remember they resonate in my head to this day. But thankfully, those are not the one or two one-offs that I remember. I do remember them, but in general, I can remember my dad. Uh, he was this Irish guy, Michael Patrick O'Brien, and he didn't have a singing voice, and that's why I don't have a singing voice. Thanks, Dad. But he used to sing, Have I Told You Lately That I Love You? And I cannot hear that song to this day. My dad has passed on about 13 years ago from a sudden heart attack. I can't hear it and not think of my dad. And there's moments throughout every day of my life that I still hear my father's singing voice. I don't know if it's a curse or haunting. No, it's not. But I can hear him singing, Have I Told You Lately That I Love You? And I seriously, Russell, used to rebuke him. I would try to cast that thing out of him. I would say, Dad, stop singing that corny song. Please don't do it in front of my whole high school class. Please don't embarrass me. But do you know that I don't know where my high school class is today? I don't know who anything else matters, but that song is stuck in my spirit, and I can hear that my dad loves me. So thank you for saying that advice to dads watching right now that your voice is a million fold stronger than most other voices. Absolutely. Uh, I'm gonna ask you how, as a man of God, and we've been talking about fathers, and you know God as a good, good father, how did you come to know God as father?
Faith Aloha And How To Get Involved
SPEAKER_02Well, my parents weren't raised in the church, but when they had me, they wanted to raise me in the church. And so early on with Ralph Moore at Hope Chapel Canoehead. Oh, come on.
SPEAKER_00They they He's a holy hammer, hamma, hamma, hammer, the Ralph Moore hammer.
SPEAKER_02That's right, Ralph Moorman in Ben Parker days, and I was in the kids' church, and like our back. I love it. So I I got a great foundation growing up and you know, learning the Bible and being around Hope Chapel.
SPEAKER_00He has a strong spiritual father. Yeah. If I may I mean God is our father, but then when you go to certain churches, you just tell me a church name, I'll tell, you know, and I'll already know as Don O'Brien and I know a lot of churches in the state of Hawaii, even on the continent, but Ralph Moore and the Hope Chapel churches under his direction, such a strong foundation. You had a great spiritual father. Wow. And I believe that's some of the fruit we're still seeing coming to bear fruit in your life today and through your ministry. Fathers with daughters. Okay, so that was really good. Um, I I want to ask you, are you a dad joker?
SPEAKER_02Um I'm more off the cuff, so I don't do like the um I don't do the the canned jokes. Yeah, like go on the internet and you know, I do more, so I'm trying to think of one, but like I kind of do I do wordplays a lot, and so then they're like they roll their eyes, but I'm like, that was a pretty good one. Like I'll use you know different wordplays and I'll try to find them, and they know uh that, but uh but that to me is the every dad worth his salt thinks his jokes are funny.
SPEAKER_00Like they say that they give themselves the five-star review right away. That was a good one. You know that was good, huh?
SPEAKER_02So here's the thing too, is I'll say them and they'll laugh, and then as they're laughing, they're like, that's that's not funny. I'm like, you're laughing, you're laughing, yeah. But it's not funny, but you're laughing. So I don't care. You're laughing. At least I got and not the kind of like ha ha ha ha ha laugh. Like they're actually laughing. The real thing. They're saying they're laughing, they're saying it's not funny. I'm like, I'll take it. I'll take it.
SPEAKER_00And the thing is, as I said earlier, with the intentional, and even if it's a one penny effort, we feel it. And if it's a flat joke, like at least you try. And I love dads that, and I'm not swearing right now, but that make a right. I grew up in like in the 70s in Hawaii, and you're just like, I like that guy who's the the class clown and he loves to make a in front of everybody, which is a funny joke. That's what A stands for right there. But the fact that you even try to do a joke that they say is not funny and then they're laughing as they tell you it's not funny. Thank you for trying because we know that you love us enough to be the fool. Yeah, act the fool.
SPEAKER_02They know me. They know I like to have fun, they know I like to make jokes and stuff. So I'm like, I'm not gonna not be me, and you're gonna have to deal with it. I love that. I love that.
SPEAKER_00And I I was uh the oldest of four daughters to our dad, and we I think the number one thing we like to do today as we remember our dad, one of the number one things is play his corny music, like Have I Told You Lately That I Love You, and all of the Neil Diamond classics that he would make us sing with him, and we love to this day, but it's also remembering the funny stories that he would get involved in just to make us laugh. Yep. Okay, so dad jokes. I just had to ask you because it was recently Father's Day, and that was the theme at our church was Father Dad jokes. Yeah. Um I'm gonna come in for a landing. Uh, I asked you the best dad advice. Do you have any more advice for dads or a word for dads?
SPEAKER_02Well, I think I said earlier, invest early and often, you know, as much as possible, do it because and it's early and often, meaning like I was taking them from the time they're could walk to these small little things just to daddy-daughter dates, and then you do it often because sometimes it's like sporadic and the consistency doesn't hit. And so, I mean they'll still remember it, but as much as you can, if you can do it early and often, then they're gonna remember that, and there's gonna be a foundation. And what I my goal is that I I I remember tell people used to see my girls when they're younger, and they would joke, like, oh, wait till they grow up, like almost like a a joke as like a fear. And I would tell them, yeah, and I would tell my girls, you know that I don't subscribe to that, like I'm not worried about you growing up and like what our relationship's gonna be like, or like as if the teenage years have to be bad. Wait till they're teenagers, right? And terrible to wait till they're toddler like every single step. Thank you, we're good, or whatever. And I told the girls like we we don't and and to this day we have really good relationships. And my goal for the dads is you don't have to be fearful of the teenage years. Yes, it's gonna be gnarly, but it you don't have to be fearful of it. Come on, you actually can have a really good relationship with the daughter, but you need to invest early and often as much as possible. I love that. So then you're not like, oh my gosh, because there's gonna be changes, there's gonna be all kinds of stuff, and you're prepared for it. And that's my goal with the organization is to prepare these dads. I I don't want them to be like wide-eye, like, oh my gosh, I have a girl, a daughter, and I have no clue. It's like, well, that's what this is for. Now you have a community, now you have a clue, now you can have confidence. That's beautiful. Like every girl that's downloading the app and they're like, I'm ready for this. Yeah, I am because some dads are ready, and some dads are like terrified. Sure. And I want and I want them to be like, I'm terrified, but I'm excited, and I have tools where I can show up and I know how to even if I have a playbook now, even if I don't know how these guys are doing things and they're showing up consistently and there's cool, here we go, and then they can show up.
SPEAKER_00It's the press play playbook. It's so easy, it's it makes it simpler. It's not easy, but it makes it simple, if I might say that. And then I just want to touch basis on what you said. When people tell you, oh, we're coming up on the terrible twos, watch out, or when they're toddlers, when they're teens, you're gonna oh, when they're twin, you know, it's relentless. And I love that spiritually speaking, you didn't even entertain that spirit. I'm not gonna bring a spirit of fear because the Bible says we are not a people of fear, but of power, love, and self-control, or a sound mind. Power, love. And so you kept refusing or rebuking that in a probably a gentle and gracious way, as you are a kind gentleman. But we're not gonna put that into the house. We're not putting that voice of fear into our home and into the mix here. Instead, we are gonna speak powerfully about love and be in self-control. And you're seeing the fruits of that. So good for you. Uh, last question what is aloha to you, Russell Kimura of Fathers with Daughters?
SPEAKER_02Aloha. Well, for me, it is sounds cheesy, but it's love. But what is love? Love is Jesus, and so it's loving and living like Jesus. That's aloha. Right. There's so much life through Jesus and love, and so we can say aloha. I mean, there's so many, so many meanings out there, right? Obviously, but I believe aloha is Jesus, is love, is how we live, and um it brings us alive when we live in aloha, when we live in what Christ has for us, when we we are more like Jesus, there is life, and like you said, life to the full. There's love and not just the kind of lovey-dovey love. We're talking obviously the agape love that that Christ showed us. That's aloha to me. Like that's the standard, right? When we we talk about love and aloha, it's not just being a nice person, it's not just like waving, oh Miss Aloha, which I'm sure you get a lot. But it's not just that, it's beyond that. It's it's deeper than just the smiles and aloha. It's actually love. And what is love? It's sacrifice, it's laying down our life, it's serving in a way. That's true. Aloha, that's true love, in my opinion. And that's what the goal is to help dads love their daughters in this way, aloha, in a way that models Christ and sacrifice and and and and gives from a place that only Christ did. And and as we model that, I think our daughters can see that and and live that, and so we live aloha through what Christ has done for us.
SPEAKER_00That beautifully said, especially in as you connected it there with fathers with daughters, is laying down their lives, laying down their schedules, laying down their busy, you know, e they're wanting to be on social media, but they could perhaps be on the app instead. But it's a father is laying down their lives for their daughters. Um who is an aloha hero? A person of pure aloha, past or present, and could have been somebody when you were growing up, or maybe it's somebody now. Who is an aloha hero to you and why?
SPEAKER_02Gosh, aloha hero. I think my mom. My mom's an aloha hero. She is someone who just loves unconditionally. She taught in the school system for many years, and she took on pregnant teens at Castle as a as a as her like job. And and so everyone, like she was mom to everyone, and she helped these these teens raise the kids and like get ready for this unexpected you know, right life. And uh, she just loves well, and she just is such a Was that part of her job? It was her job. So there was an actual position teacher that at Castle they had a a grads program where if if you got pregnant, she walked with these girls who got pregnant and helped them with all the things from diapers to you know, bottles to everything, how to to to be a teen mom, and it was crazy. So she's a you know, uh a strong woman of faith and lives aloha, and um she's so uh you can't go to Winter Mall or Longs or anywhere without Miss Miss uh Kimur, like everyone knows her because she just missed Aloha, you know, but but deeper than that, she's gonna be a little bit more. I love that.
SPEAKER_00I have a dear sister friend of mine who got pregnant in uh just before senior year at Kamehameha schools, and this was back in the day, and she made the choice to keep the baby, but it sure was a hard time. And it was people walking with her through that season and choosing life. It takes a whole village. Yeah, and so thank you to Mrs. Kimura, your mom, who helped do that. And I bet there's lots of kids and even grand bibis who would be so thankful today. Hey, give us your contact, maybe your website, etc., on how to get plugged into fathers with daughters or where we can buy prom tickets. Hint hint hint.
SPEAKER_02All right, yeah, fatherswithdaughters.com or our Instagram, fathers underscore with underscore daughters. And we'd love any support, any join the community. You know, uh the nonprofit is growing, and you know, we're looking for partners who believe in legacy, kingdom, and what we're doing to sew into this ministry because as that grows, we can reach that goal and beyond. How do we continue to to equip these dads and make you know this show up? And this this year we gave out almost a hundred tickets, scholarship tickets for the prom because we know that dads can't afford and three hundred is in Hawaii, like you said, ain't cheap. Like right cost of living is tough. Yes. And so my goal is to continue to build that scholarship fund and continue to uh uh allow dads who can't come to come because people made it possible, right? But we still gotta the the Hilton ain't cheap either, and they're not giving I mean And they're giving us great things, but but we got to pay, right? And so we we can't just scholarship everyone. But at the end of the day, we're we're looking for partners to come alongside us and really sow into the ministry because there's there's a I vision for days, there's a a generation of young women that are gonna be changed because of what the legacy of fathers with daughters is gonna do. Amen. But obviously, we live in a world that takes money and different things, and we're believing for people to partner with us.
SPEAKER_00And local people, we get it. I was just at a tea time yesterday with a dear sister of mine, and her son just graduated. They rented out um uh a location, and it costs $47 per head just to, you know, for 120 people to be in that location. And I thought to myself, oh, good thing I gave more than $50 to the graduate, right? Because that was just breaking even. But same thing with the Hilton Hawaiian, and you want to have an elegant, epic experience. Right. But I loved when I was watching it on the news to your point of giving scholarships. I think it was called, was it No Daddy Daughter Left Behind? Oh my gosh, it pierced my heart. But the reality of that is other people get to come alongside. Absolutely. So please do uh if you want to donate, if you want to volunteer, if you want to help on the team, right? Is that are those all ways we can be a part of?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, please reach out to me. You know, you can Instagram or you can go on the website and fill out a form or something. But we'd love to get in touch with people who resonate with what we're doing. Because you know, you can give your time, you can give your talents, your treasures. But if this is something that people are excited about, we really believe that God's gonna come behind it and do something powerful in this island and beyond. So whatever we can do together, you know, this can be a good thing.
SPEAKER_00And I love that you just said that time, treasure, talent. And then I just heard a podcaster recently add a fourth T and it was give your tongue. And I was like, bro, watch it, watch it. But what he meant by that was you know, posting it up on TikTok, IG, helping to get the message out there as an influencer. And by the way, moms, dads, you're the OG influencers. Teachers, you're the OG influencer. So when you've heard about fathers with daughters, when you hear about daddy-daughter proms, please put the message out and help us to get that across because you know that there is a strong foundation in having fathers be a part of the young people's lives. I know too many statistics, I'm not even gonna start down that road right now, of when a father is absent from a child's life, whether it's a young lady or a young man, and we know that it leads to a lot more poverty, to chronic illnesses, even early death. If you look it up on cdc.org, that's Centers for Disease Control, that when there is a trauma as a child and when they're missing fathers, and so this is giving us an opportunity to come alongside with fathers with daughters. And once again, you're gonna have the website up there. Thank you to Clint, our wonderful video editor, and the guy behind the cameras. He's super shy, so he's already shaking his head at me. I'm gonna get in trouble after this shoot, but it'll be up on your screen and be a part of this because we're changing a generation and we're changing a nation for the future of God's foundations. And it starts with fathers with daughters. Thank you again, Russell Kimura, for all that God has invested in you and that you're raising up your children in the way that they should go, but you're also raising up dads and giving them the press play, simple playbooks to go out there and win. Thank you. Well, as I like to always end with three words aloha always wins. So little heart, try it with me, Russell. Aloha, little heart, always bigger heart wins. Wins. Aloha always wins. Always wins.