13. The Princess Bride by Rob Reiner

If you're a millennial, this might just be the most unavoidable movie of all time. Teachers used to play it during free days. Kids would put it on for birthday parties. So does it hold up to its claim to be timeless, family-friendly cinema?

Yeah, pretty much. 

Join the gang as we explore potentially the most quotable film of the 80's, by absolute icon director Rob Reiner. 

We also ask some age old questions, like: 

• Was Ratatouille inspired by the big rat creature in this movie?
• Is Ben Savage really sick?
• What is Dinner with Andre really about?

Thanks for being here! 

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Transcript

You are not trusted by me, so I could clearly not choose the wine in front of
you. Truly, you have a dizzying intellect. Wait till I get going! Where was I?
Australia. Yes, Australia! And you must have suspected I would have known the
powder's origin, so I could clearly not choose the wine in front of me. You're just
stalling now. You'd like to think that, wouldn't you?
(upbeat music)
- Hey everybody, welcome to "Lord Forgive Us Our Cinema." My name is John Simon and
I'm here with the gang. - Gang. - Gang. - Hello. - Hello. - Gang gang. How you guys
doing? - We're good. - We're doing great. - I'm here with my beautiful wife, Angela
and Valencia. - Hello, that's me. - I'm here with my beautiful co -host, Jared
McDaniel. - I'm Jared, that's me. - And I'm here with Danielle. (laughing) - Justine
Yell, she's a very beautiful wife. - I'm not gonna comment on Dr. Daniel. I'm not
gonna comment on anything. - Dad, Dr. McDaniel, please. - Yeah, I guess. - These are
the appropriate title. - Are you a dentist, Danielle? Is that what you are? DDS?
- No, no, no, no. - Dr. Daniel, DDS, McDaniel? - I think I'm going near people's
mouths, no. (laughing) - So you just put needles inside of them?
- I put the pills, just to show you in the mouth. - You do not put the pills in
the mouth. - No, I'm a pharmacist, though, if that clarifies anything for you
listening. - Can I ask a question that might bump this to, from a G to a PG?
What's a suppository? I know where it goes. I don't know what it does. - Well,
yeah, it's like a medication that goes up the rectum. - Oh, so anything could be a
suppository. - This is great content for the live guest. - But also, okay, this is
- A fun story about-- - What a wonderful-- - A fun story about-- - A fun story,
Jared. - About suppositories is that, so I work in like hospice or long -term care
and every time we dispense a suppository, we put on the prescription, unwrap
suppository and then insert, because people have not done that. - Oh, man. - Oh, man.
- Yeah, I have a funny story about that with tamales, where someone-- - Someone put
a tamale up someone's mouth, - Hold on, hold on, similar story,
but with tamales.
- My mom and I used to sell tamales and I had a friend, what, very well meaning,
who was like, yeah, Annie, the tamales you and your mom made are really good, but
they're just kind of hard to eat. And I was like, what do you mean? And she was
like, yeah, my mom had to tell me I had to unwrap them before I ate them. Sorry,
no, no, no, no. - Classic. - Sorry to Sorry, this episode is sponsored by Family
Guy. Family Guy. All right.
What movie are we covering today? We're watching Princess Bride. We watched it.
We watched it. We're not watching it now. Currently, we're podcasting. Is it The
Princess Bride or Princess Bride? This is The Princess Bride. It is The Princess
Bride. Yeah. When do you guys differentiate "the" and "the"? I don't know.
The Princess I mean like you say the when you want to be fancy. Yeah, these kind
of one might pinkies up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah The Princess Bride. Yeah. This is a good
one. Who wrote the Princess Bride? Rob Reiner. No, he directed it. William Goldman?
I thought you meant like who wrote like the vision of the book. Have you guys read
the book? I have it. It's on the shelf right there. It's hilarious. It is
hilarious, but I one of my things that I was mad about later is about how when I
read the book and he's like, you know, it's like a story inside of another story,
right? With a frame in a frame. And a lot of the stuff, basically everything he
writes about his own personal family was not true. And I felt very deceived. Yes, I
did too. I couldn't tell. I felt like I was being gaslit the whole time. Oh, and
you mean about the grandfather and the son? No. In the book, he talks about how he
got the princess bride and that he basically edited it down and read it to his son
who kind of sort of didn't like it and him and his wife were like becoming
separated or whatever. No, that's true. Oh, that's true. Yeah. That's just good
storytelling. Yeah. I love a good meta commentary. Yeah. And this is a good meta
commentary. I love a good based on a true story that's actually not based on a
true story. Like Fargo. Oh, I love it. Yeah. And he loves Fargo. That's your
favorite movie. I don't. Yeah. Yeah. So William Goldman, a writer of...
Butch Cassidy. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Marathon Man, which is being
remade with Glen Powell.
With Glen Powell. Hmm. Oh, he's in everything these days. Arnold Schwarzenegger. Isn't
that the Stephen King movie or that was the Stephen King book? Yeah. No way. But
William Goldman wrote the screenplay. The screenplay book. Fascinating so he seems
like he's not a very original guy. Well, I mean, he's a big -time guy. He's a big
time copycat
How to write screenplays have someone else write a really good story It's a ventures
in the screen trade. Oh Okay, yeah, you know I have it on my shelf. He I mean
the Princess Bride is definitely a book worth reading. Yes. He's definitely very
funny. It's enjoyable. Yeah Who's in this movie Jared? Carrie Owls Owl ways.
Oh, I was gonna. I thought you I thought you knew and I had a wrong pronunciation
Yeah, I thought so too. I was hoping somebody here would know how to actually
pronounce it Oh, maybe he's German. It's like Elvis. I think he's British, isn't he?
- No, I think he's actually American and he plays British. - He's from Westminster
Abbey. - Oh, no way. He's actually British. - He's a Londoner, isn't he? - I think
he's just got really good at playing British people and they're like, "That's what
we'll cast him in." - That's very possible. - Yeah, yeah. - He was on a run there
for a minute. This and Robin Hood, Men in Tights. I feel like he was in
"Everyone's Trouble." - He was in "Ella and Chanson." - He was, but not as the heart
in "Rob." - No, he was also And I feel like I say this a lot in these movies,
in these podcasts, I should say, very handsome gentlemen. He's a good looking guy.
He just looks, he just looks like a guy. There's a couple of scenes. So early on
in the movie when he's just like looking at her, and then when he gets up out of
the bed and he just looks so intimidating, I was I was like, wow, what a beauty.
What a real beauty of a man. - And also, if there are any military personnel
listening to this, I was talking to my brother about like facial hair or whatever.
And I just noticed, I was like, I think that his mustache is like Marine Corps
regulation. Which is just like a weird thing to notice. But it was like cut above
the lip. And according to my brother, your mustache can't go past like the edges of
your mouth. So - Very well manicured facial hair. - Well done. - Sweet, that's an
observation we're going to need to push back into more relevant parts of the show.
- I'm sorry, I just thought that it was worth noting. - Interesting. Who else do we
have in this movie? We have world famous Mandy Patenkin.
- Mandy Patenkin? - I think it's Patenkin. - No, it's Patenkin. - But who plays a
Nigglemontoya. We have Chris Sarandon who plays Humberdink, Who I didn't know he was
an ex -husband of Susan Sarandon, which is how she got her last name. No way. No,
that's real. I looked it up. Wow. Yeah, I lie a lot on this show. That was not a
lie. Fascinating. Yeah, true as true can be. I like that Peter Falk is in here.
Did you guys get distracted trying to guess which was the glass eye?
That's the grandpa? Yeah, Peter Falk has a glass eye. I did not know that. That's
a good glass eye. One of them doesn't move so if you look straight at me like the
one eye the good eye will move. That's why he's always kind of looking at me. I
want to shout out Peter Falk for a minute because he is one of my favorite actors.
Really? He's in uh um woman under the influence. Yeah woman under the influence uh
rip uh Gina Rowland. I don't know why I was gonna say the nanny right now. You
know he's in is he in the nanny? No I think they just referenced Colombo. That
sounds about right. Yeah he's He's a tremendous actor and I love him in everything
he's in. He's Colombo, right? Yeah, he's Colombo. My dad used to watch Colombo. He's
got a good... I feel like when you get older as an actor, you lose the young man
face that you were known for. But I feel like he looks just as much of a good
actor As a young man, as he does as an old man, like he doesn't look like old
Colombo. He looks like an old man. He's always Peter Fox, always been kind of an
old man. Like he arrived. He's rugged. He's rugged. And he was an old man. Yeah.
It's got that leather. I was going to say leather face, but that's a Texas Chainsaw
Massacre. Yeah, it was so nice. Peter Fox has a leather face. Can you imagine? No.
No, you don't want to have that charm. Do you think it blows better for you in
Hollywood if you have an old face to begin with, that way you just grow into it.
- Don't they say-- - Tommy L. Jones. - Well, but it's the opposite true too. If
you're a woman, if you're a woman, you want to look young. - Yeah, as long as you
can. - Because then you can play teenagers. - Yes. - Like a man to see free. She
played young girls for forever. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Hey, let's not forget Wallace Sean.
He's great in this. - Yeah. - He plays-- - The most recognizable, - Silly,
silly man. - Yeah, his voice is just amazing. - Vassini. - Yeah, Vassini, yeah.
- Okay, okay, as he was talking, like I just, all these different movies kept going
through my head. - Yeah, same. - Like The Incredibles. - Clueless. - And Clueless.
- And then the Goofy movie. - Oh yeah. - He was the principal. - Well, he's just a
Rex in Toy Story. - Yeah, he's the big old dinosaur. - Yeah. - It's so good. - But
we can't forget Billy Crystal. - Yeah, Billy Crystal, Andre the I was going to say,
yeah, you really can't forget as long as we haven't discussed the elephant in the
room. Fred Savage. Oh, Fred Savage. Oh, you're talking a literal elephant? That is a
very insensitive thing to say. This man has a gigantism. Yeah, he does. Gigantism.
It's a disability. Which when I was reading the book, I went into a deep dive on
that. Can I tell you any facts? Yeah, but no, I can't tell you any facts. Is
there a medication for being that big? Shaking pills, maybe? You do die a little
bit earlier. I do believe, I remember it didn't, William Goldman write the part of
"Physic" with Andre the Giant in that book. I think he did, yeah. What an honor.
Yeah, we also haven't talked about Robin Wright, have we? She was Butterfell and she
was fantastic. She's wonderful and gorgeous. She's great. She's aged very well too.
Another woman who received her name because of a early on relationship.
She was married to Sean Penn. That's why she was Robin Wright Penn. Oh, yeah. OK.
I didn't know that. I just thought I'm pretty sure that's right. Oh, we might just
be like just making stuff. I can say we I looked. Mine is certified.
She you want to you want to look that up while you got your right now. No, I
think, so Wright was her, not her fiance, good gracious.
Her maiden name, she married Dane Witherspoon. Then she married Sean Penn. - Oh good,
I'm glad that was right. - For 14 years. So yeah. - I was really worried about that
for a second. - Wait, so street husbands? - I was worried. And then, and now she's
married to Clement Giridot, but actually they've already got divorced. So yeah,
she's three X's. - Oh heavens. But you know, when you're that beautiful, it's hard
to, it's hard to lock down a man. Yeah, for sure. We also need to shout out
Christopher Guest. We got Christopher Guest in here. That's right. He's always
welcome. Best in show fame. He plays the southern who owns the Hound dog.
So funny. He's so funny. Not to mention Fred Savage. Yeah, Fred Savage. Yeah.
Brother of Ben Savage. That's right. I was gonna ask the other world. The Curly
-headed, Knucklehead. What? I also want to shout out Mallory...
wait, Marjorie, sorry. Marjorie Mason. She's the booing lady. Oh,
yeah. She's great. She's one of my favorite parts of this whole movie, and her
performance is just tremendous. It was great. Okay, I need to tell you guys a story
that's equal parts kind of emotional, but is hopefully going to be a good time for
our listener, which is Annie and I have the DVD of The Princess Bride. So you know
how when you have the main menu, they'll cycle through like a 30 second audio
track, just an item forever. So we got the movie up and our dog Toby,
who's not doing great right now, had a little tumble. And so her and I were just
talking, we're kind of consoling Toby. And we're just having this very like emotional
kind of conversation about like how we take care of him, how we look after him.
And in the background, every 30 seconds, it's pow! Pow! Pow!
And then you hear Wesley like, "As you wish !" It's like all the all the famous
little audio clips are inconceivable. And it's just, It's, yeah, we're getting
heckled. - That was a really well shown impression. He did a good job. - Yeah, I'm
not, I'm never going to do it again. I'm going to go out. - I have a question
which maybe goes in this category, but what time period do you guys think this took
place in? - Oh, that's an interesting point. Like the reading of the story? - No,
no, no. That probably took place in the 80s, but the actual look. - I got a
lockdown on the reading of the story. - Like 90s. - No, no, no, it's 80s. The child
is a William refrigerator Perry poster on his wall.
He's also got a he -man action figure. I don't know what any of those words meant.
Refrigerator Perry was a famous football player for the Chicago Bears. Of course. Of
course. He famously was given the ball. He's a, I think he was a defensive player,
but he was given the ball in like a Super Bowl and he scored a touchdown. And he
did like a big leg touchdown celebration. He's a big man. And then he got a
penalty? No. What was it before penalties? I don't think he got a penalty. It was
before the world got so soft. Real quick, we also never mentioned Carol Kane as
Billy Crystal's wife, but anyway, she was also great. Good job, Carol Kane. Yeah,
Valerie. Great job. We know you're listening, Carol Kane. She's great. We appreciate
your support.
So when I would watch this movie, we had like the VHS tape, and so you had to
rewind it all the time and get all the previews and stuff. And - I really miss
that, like I really miss knowing what all of the previews are gonna be because for
whatever reason, like the previews for Princess Bride were for some MGM,
CD -ROM, game system based on a few different movies. And I can't even tell you
what it was, you know what I mean? But that's just, I think when you're a kid
watching like VHS tapes, it's just part of the memory. It's part of the experience
of the movie. You know what I mean? - Yes, Yeah, I mean, or you know what previews
belong to what movie. Yeah, I would have a log of those in my head and like, oh,
yeah, this is the preview that's going to show. Oh, yeah. Like, I could tell you
what movie it was. If you just showed me the previews and then I could tell you
based on the order, like, oh, this is Rugrats or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Same. So I
have like a random like admission, which was I thought that my dinner with Andre
was my giant for a long time. So Billy Crystal made a movie about his relationship
with Andre, the giant after Andre, the giant died. And wait, wait, wait. No,
no, no, no. My giant is with George Mirison. No, no, no. It's not with Andre.
It's about him. Yeah. So Andre, he is, he's already dead. He's already dead.
There's a movie called My Giant with Billy Crystal. Yeah, starring George Mears on
this, the Washington Wizards. Oh, not. Not on the very tall man. Yeah.
Yes. Yes. That's what I'm saying. But it's it was inspired by his relationship with
Andre the Giant, who he met during Princess Bride. I see. I didn't realize that.
They did. They became like best pals. They made a movie, not Andre, because he
died. And it was kind of a box office flop kind of a stinker, but I learned
something what was funny Was that I thought that my dinner with Andre was that
movie and it turns out It was actually a very different movie that people really
liked and didn't flop in the box office And it had mr. Inconceivable in it. Oh
Yeah, it's like one of those kind of house a Very influential art house film.
Yeah. It's like a, I think the whole film was like a single conversation. Sean and
Andre Gregory and they just, the entire movie is just them having a conversation
over dinner. Yeah. Really? Oh, I've been meaning to watch it for a while now. That
would be a great title for a movie about Andre the giant. My dinner with Andre.
That's what I always thought. And I, that's why I didn't. It's like a five hour,
like a five hour long dinner. They're like 12 drinks. Yeah. All right,
should we get the sins and confessions before we move on to sin and confession? I
just want to mention here. Yes. And maybe this is a confession. Okay. I wrote down
on my my paper here in exegesis and application. Mind you, it was the very first
thing I wrote down. Are there better? Are there a better series of sounds to begin
a film with? And I have no, I have no idea what this refers to. - It was like,
"Oh yeah, he's playing." - And then it's like the video game he's playing, right?
- He's playing that baseball game. - I just thought those sounds were great. And I
wanted to mention that, 'cause when we sat down to record this, I couldn't for the
life of me remember what those sounds were. - Like, there are sounds. - And I was
like, "What is my even talking about?" - That's hilarious, yeah. - That's my
confession. - Okay, well you made a confessions. That was good. That's a good segue
into sin and confession. Yeah, here we are. Yeah, I I'll say a sin,
like, you know how Satan in that famous story of his was so good.
Yeah. Was so good at singing that he got like cocky and was like, oh, take all my
friends to hell with me. It's that's that's a loose translation. OK, it's a very.
Is this a story? It's probably, I honestly, I'm not sure. This is Genesis 5. Is
this somewhere in Isaiah? Is this extra biblical? Yeah, probably. Yeah. It's like
biblical folklore. But this movie is so freaking quotable.
This might be, and like, this isn't even the movie that we were raised on. Like,
none of us, see, maybe Danielle, we weren't around in 1987.
- That was the year of my birth. - Yeah. - Oh, so Jared was around. - I was the
oldest person in this room. - Yeah. Well, save my 90 year old dog over here.
- Yeah. This is the year of my birth of this movie came out. - And you were born,
and your birthday's in like May? - September. - Reds. Wait, what day? - 12th. - Dude,
you were 13 days old when this movie came out. - Dang, that's a fact. - This movie
came out on my due date. I was two weeks late. - Dude, that's why your middle name
is Princess.
(laughing) - No, it's Wesley. - It's Robin. (laughing) - Yeah, Wesley. - It's a Jewish.
- A Jewish. Okay, I have a sin in confession, guys. So Wesley just back and he's
all that he's doing this is kind of off to Annie like him his military style
mustache he just has a mustache and a tiny mask and you're telling me that Robin
Wright's character doesn't recognize this guy like I'm asking to do right they didn't
they didn't they didn't have photographs or phones back then but she had to rely on
her memory you know and
you won't even know anything about him. - Well, but let's be honest, like how long
were they actually together before he just like showed up? - He was the farm boy.
He was the farm boy. He was a farm boy for a while. - I mean, farm boys,
depending on his contract, he could have been there for years, actually. - Maybe she
didn't recognize him. - Maybe she didn't recognize him. - Maybe she didn't recognize
him. - Because she'd only seen him all like grubbied up. - Oh, yeah. - Oh, yeah.
- She never saw him clean and confident. - Did he ever - Was his haircut different?
- Grovied up. - He had like a little baby ponytail. - He did. - It was a little
strange. I had one, really I had a couple, which really I feel like aren't really
sins. They're like when you love someone and they have flaws but you love them
because of their flaws. - Are you willing to overlook these things? - Yeah, okay,
here's mine. First of all, the guy who played Visini, please tell me his name.
- Wallace Sean. Thank you Wallace Sean. Love that guy. He was probably the only
person other than Billy Crystal Who didn't even bother to have a European accent at
You know, and I didn't care because I it just made it better, you know, and then
Yeah, he had no European accent and then Pheasant who Andre the giant Sorry,
the Pheasant's character is to like be really good at word play and rhyming and
stuff. - He only does it once. - And honestly, his speech is so hard to understand
that it doesn't even really come through. - Right. - I wondered about that. Was that
a bigger part in the book? - Yeah. - It was, yeah. - Yeah, sorry, Annie, I totally
interrupted you. I'm gonna go ahead. - He and Inigo have these rhyming games, but at
the same time, again, I don't care because the way that he, like when he's getting
choked out by, oh Oh, yeah, you know Wesley by Wesley and he was like kind of
struggling to breathe or whatever and he's talking I don't know what he's saying
same same time. I don't care. So I'm like, he's great Mm -hmm. Do you just want to
do you just want to hug Andre the giant? Yeah, they look like a great person to
hug Yeah, I feel like he'll be able to pick me up no problem And I feel like
small little person same. Yeah. Yeah. Have you guys seen the Andre the giant
Documentary. It's really good. I have another one.
I have another one on Visini while we're talking about him Okay, this is gonna be
a deep cut for this podcast But do you guys remember in instructions not included
when Maggie just in the end she dies and she's like Yeah, he died. He died the
same way. Yeah Drank the poison and fell over. Maybe it was a little nod. You know
a little cinematic wink A movie in 1987 1987 and a movie in 2013 the other way
around yeah what if what if the actress that played Maggie in that movie had just
watched this and she's like this is how you die she's inspired people will know
this this movie was huge in Mexico princessa bride that's not true
la novia - La novia princesa? - Yeah, la novia princesa. You gotta switch the
adjectives. - Wow. - Okay, I have another one, but it's-- - I got a few too. Just
throwing that other. - Okay. - I'm here. - Me and you are having a conversation.
I never noticed it until this time, but there was a point in time where,
again, I'm really struggling to find something to count as a sin, 'cause I love
this movie so much. But when Prince Humperdink is looking for. OK, side note,
Humperdink, crazy name. Anyway, tell that to tell that to Anglebert Humperdink.
OK, Anglebert Humperdink, singer of the the the the singing of the Edmund Fitzgerald
or whatever. Yeah, is this real? Did you just make a wreck of the Edmund
Fitzgerald? No, it's a real song. I say nonsense. Yeah, - It's just, I'm lying. - I
swear. - Yeah, it sounds true. - I swear, I swear, Engelbert Humperdink is a real
person. - Okay, anyways, back to you later. - Okay, real quick. I just noticed that
Prince Humperdink's costume was a little awkward because he's wearing this like long
sleeve, close sleeve shirt with like this poofy thing on top. And again,
we don't know exactly when this is supposed to be, but there was a style where you
wear like a big outer sleeve with a slit that shows like the inner sleeve of your
shirt. And there's like a cuff at the bottom of the sleeve. Prince Humperdink wasn't
wearing it. It's like when he's wearing that purple thing. So like the sleeve and
the cuff are just flopping around on the outside. I didn't even notice that. And it
was, I just never noticed it before, but it was distracting. So I was like, why is
there like a ball at the end of his like arm sleeve? He just didn't wear it. He
didn't wear it I don't know malfunction. Yeah, maybe he just like that him as the
actor was like I can't I know I don't want to win this puffy sleeve whatever sir.
We're gonna get back down because he's got he's got some real flair He does. I've
got a sin. I'd like to say yeah Let me give you guys a few of the other options
of people who were considered for Robin Wright's role Oh, and I want you to stop
me when one stands out as being completely unacceptable I think you're gonna make a
face when that happens so and if you say any time will tell and if you say share
I'm gonna be upset with you because she was a babe in the 80s don't you worry all
right umma Thurman what umma Thurman in 1987 yes sir fascinating Meg Ryan that's a
great wow I don't know if she could accent but yeah Courtney Cox you know this is
pre -friends who knows what she's capable of. - Yeah. - Uh. - Sorry Courtney Cox.
- Whoopie Goldberg. - Wow. Whoopie Goldberg. - That fits, right guys? - Yeah, yeah.
Isn't that reasonable? - I'm 100 % into this. - Yeah. - Princess Buttercup, yeah.
- Wait, can you imagine her with like Carrie, we don't know how to say his name,
but they're like holding each other.
- Could have happened. - She's like, "Far boy, get that from me." (laughing) - Could
to happen but says it in her whoopee Goldberg way very much like will be Goldberg
and not I'm so glad whoopee Goldberg was a part of that list thank you John you're
welcome yeah that's my sin why why why would they even know what's happening I got
a couple things speaking of a casting buttercup mm -hmm buttercup what's this name I
think but I was she named after a horse - Named after a flower? - Or a flower.
- No, I honestly, I would rather, I think she was named after a horse. - Guys, I
understand like, think about it. - Butter. - Sure. - She's named after butter and it's
like a cup of butter. - A cup of butter. - She's named after, just think about a
cup of butter. - I mean, people are named like Rose or like Lily. - Think about a
cup of butter. - But Buttercup. - Yeah, Buttercup. - Do you think that anyone named
their daughter Buttercup after this movie. - After this movie? I hope not. Buttercup,
I feel like I'm doing research then. - Listen, it's just asking for it. It's just
asking for terrible, terrible nicknames. I hope no one will. - Oh, it is. - B .C.
- B .C. - Oh. - Cuppie. - Yeah, well, yeah, well, her friends. I mean, I guess she
was like royalty all of her life, so she never probably got bullied in a public
school. - Of course she did. - Buttercup. - Hardly know her. - She was like a, you
know, she was a peasant - Sweetheart, she wasn't a princess the whole time. - Oh,
that's right. She chose her out of the peasants. - She was beautiful, so life's
different for you if you're beautiful. - Yeah. - Pretty privilege. - I also want to
bring up, this bothers me in so many action movies that I see, especially ones that
involve sword play.
People in sword fights, like they just never kill each other when they have the
chance. No, it's bad form. You know, it's like people are like flipping about and
you know, jumping and doing like, you know, whirlies on the the Olympic.
There was a lot of gymnastics.
And their opponents are just like standing around just watching it. It's like, why
wouldn't you just stab this guy in the chest while he's flying through the air?
Because they well, he says it. Leslie says I would no sooner, like, like break a
stained glass window, yeah, then like kill you. Yeah. Also, if there's no fighters,
they're probably divas. You know what I mean? They're probably etiquette as far as
like, I'm going to let you show off. Yeah, it's like baseball. There's like an
etiquette to the game. You have to play within the rules. I'm going to let you,
I'll let you go off and then, you know, and then the chest will stand on the
plate, you know, monster. Wasn't that like a great part of the movie, though, when
he's like, I'm not left -handed. And he's like, neither may. - Yeah. - Yeah.
- Also, can we bring back regular and common sharpening of blades on stones?
- Oh, that was a good one, yeah. - I want that more in common life, in day -to -day
life. - You can do that. - I know I can do it, but like-- - They need to be
sharpened. - Why don't we as a society do it more, like just out and about, like
in front of people? - This is a good reminder. There's a farmer's market that I go
to that always has a knife sharpener there. I need to bring my knives over there.
- Wait, they do? - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You just bring your local knives.
- Which one? - Bring my local knives to the local sharpener. - What are local knives?
(laughing) - I made it, Janet. I made this knife. That's why it's so dull. - As
opposed to like, - It's important, knives. - Yeah, domestic knives.
- Yeah, we got We're in knives invading our territory. Yeah, all these illegal
knives, you know what I mean? Is that it for your Senate confession? Um, I'm one
of, I'm okay. Sorry, uh, Mark Paddenkin is from Chicago.
Take him. Who was that? Hold on, I just want to, I just really want to take this
in for a minute. Yeah, Mark Paddenkin is from Chicago. He's not Spanish.
Why is it so offensive? Hold on, are you saying Mandy Patankin?
Mandy Patankin.
John Simon. John Simon, you're better than this.
Mandy Patankin. It's from Chicago. Mandy Patankin sounds like a character from Hey
Arnold. You're just like Mark Patonkin. And I'm just like, what are you talking
about? I had no idea what was going on. I thought you guys knew who he was
talking about. And I was like, I thought he was like a producer of the film.
And I'm just like, why are you bothered by the fact that he's from Chicago? He's
an artist or something. Oh, this guy's from Chicago. And he's making this film.
What's that all about? Boo. All right. Well, that's all I have to say. Yeah. Manny
Patakian is from Chicago. Thank you, John. - Danielle, you had one? - I had one
more, which this kind of goes with my, like when did this take place? Because
Visini at one point says, "Australia is full of criminals." Where did he get this
information from? - He's a scholar, he's an intellectual. - I mean, that actually did
used to happen. Yeah, when like England or whoever, I think it was England, when
they colonized Australia, Australia was like full of criminals. Yeah, just-- - No, no,
no, that's a real thing, but was that concurrent with the time this is supposed to
take place in? Oh, that's an interesting question. There was also a Holocaust cloak,
which Jared pointed out, it was just like a fireproof cloak. But I thought it was
like a World War Two cloak. And I'm like, they don't have phones in here, but they
have a Holocaust cloak. Yeah, Holocaust. Yeah. Well, Holocaust does not a Holocaust
refer to like a burning destruction by burning. Yeah. Oh, I got the name.
I I also just while we're here in Senate confession, just another opportunity to
just say boo monarchy. You know, let's get a vote in the forest.
Let's set up a democratic operation. Kind of redeemed it. Let's see if we can get
a democratically elected leader into this place. Boo Hmm.
All right. Best church history comparisons.
Hmm. What do we got? I have, um, uh, when, uh, Vassini says to Phezik,
have I not hired you to help me start a war? And I thought this is like God to
the Babylonians. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that was mine. That's good. I said the booing
woman, like she's she's saying that you're like, you abandoned your first love.
You've abandoned your first love, Israel. - Yeah. - Dang. - Wow. - Dang. - Yeah.
- I was thinking of Bernard of Clairville wrote a bunch of homilies on the song of
Solomon where he basically said that what we see in song of Solomon is this
relationship, this very romantic intimate relationship and that it's actually a
comparison of Christ and his pursuit of the church, which is his lover. And there's
a lot of affectionate language in that. So I kind of thought, I had this image in
my head of Bernard of Clairvaux giving this homily. And then Fred Savage is like,
is this a kissing book?
- Like Song of Solomon. You're reading it out loud. And he's like, is this a
kissing book? - You're gonna miss a lot of murder if you don't stop yapping,
freaking kid. I thought you were sick. Yeah, okay, I've got one. Okay, so when
Wesley was chasing down Visini and he was, like, defeating all these people,
you beat the giant. You righty beat Fezik and then he beat Inigo and then he had
to beat, what's his name, Visini. It reminded me of, please correct me if I'm
wrong, but when David had to win the dowry or I saw his daughter, he had to go
and get 100 foreskins from like the Philistines and I was like "the things you do
for love, man" Where do you carry 100 foreskins? Let's limit the F word, I think.
We're still trying to get aired globally. I got another one. The supply is not
going to sponsor us if we keep throwing the F word around. It was No,
it was right there and now it's somewhere else because David took it. Awesome dead
bodies. I have another one for church history. Yeah. Carry on. Okay,
done. Yeah, that's me. I have an antigo Montoya saying,
"I gave my life to the study of fencing." Mm -hmm. I thought Nehemiah. Hmm.
You know, when he's all rebuilding. Oh, putting up the wall. Rebuilding the wall.
- I gave my life to the study of fencing. That is really good. I hated that,
but that made it my favorite. - Thanks. - That was really good. I gave my life to
the study of fencing. - All right. - Are we preaching? - All right, yeah. Well, no,
hold on. Is there a Christ figure? - Ooh. - Oh. - Yeah. - I don't think so. Well,
Wesley came back from the dead, yeah. - Right. - He did suffer, I suppose. - He was
resurrected, I suppose. - Yeah, I suppose. Yeah, it was resurrected. He did suffer.
I'd like to say Jesus was fully dead. Jesus not mostly dead. Yeah. What what a
heresy is that? Oh, that's a great question. Give me a second. I'll go back to it.
The other heresy that Jesus didn't really die. No, he wasn't fully dead. He wasn't
fully dead. I don't think that's a heresy. That's like when Juliet is like that
somebody somebody just did that it was just a sham. - I just wanted to check on, I
wanted to see if that was a heretical and someone thrown out there. - No, that's
amazing though. Yeah, I know there are people who doubt the literal resurrection of
Christ. And those are usually kind of mainline weirdos who just have a problem with
a lot of the miracles in the Bible. But yeah, I've never heard someone be like, do
we know he actually died? - Was he fully dead? - Yeah. - Someone just approaches you
on the street and asks you. - Yeah, to be mostly dead, he's slightly alive. - And
the kind of wounds that he endured, can you live through those? - Well, they stabbed
him in the stomach after he was crucified for like nine hours. - Oh, I think we're
talking about Wesley. - We're talking about Jesus. This is a Christian podcast. - I
was like, I'm sure you could. - But then there were stabs. - No, they didn't stab
him. - So there is no Christ figure on what's saying? Was I watching Wesley's sort
of I've got an imperfect one and it's an ego Because he is the great vindicator
and the great the great bringer of justice
Wesley was pirating, you know, yeah, the piracy is not in Jesus
Yeah, yeah, well, I mean he did he killed like he killed killed Vazini. - No,
I mean, like as a pirate, right? As he was like pretending to be the dread pirate
Roberts and they never take prisoners. He probably had to, oh, he probably did have
to kill a lot of people. - Yeah. - Anyway, that'll preach. - Anyways. - How many, how
many diuretic knights did he have trying to, trying to get that poison?
- Through his system. - Like through his system. - Oh yeah. - I feel like there were
just, you gotta start - It's a small amount, right? Like a really small amount.
- But even if it doesn't kill you, it's gonna ruin lunch for a couple days. - But
it's a good party trick later on, you know what I'm saying? - Yeah, like what was
he planning on using that for? He's like someday. - Yeah, I mean exactly that
moment. - That's true. - Yeah. - He just carries that poison around ready to go.
- Doesn't take up that much space. All right, that'll preach. What's preaching today,
team? - Okay, I have one that I'm gonna pitch to Jon. I'm like, - Oh no, I mean,
I'm sorry, I was about to cough and so I was like, lend me to myself so I can
cough. - Well, I just said, John, let me throw you that. And then he said-- - I
can still hear you cough, John. - I'm sorry. - I said, John, I have something to
throw at you and he muted me. - And that happened immediately. That time-- - He's
like, no woman. - I was like, I don't want to hear what you have to say. - This
is what I would give you, that is what I would give you a sermon to preach on.
Okay, when, when Colombo, because I'm forgetting his actual name. - Peter Faulk.
- Peter Faulk. - Okay, it says to-- - Grandfather. - Grandfather says to the little
guy, "When I was your age, television was called books." And then you could do a
sermon about the idolatry of the internet and the age of distraction. - I'd be like,
"In my day, internet was called TV." (laughing) - That's good, yay,
yay, you're really rolling with it. (laughing) You understand the concept. - I would
maybe just put it together to have it just a little boy. I don't know why I
pictured him older. Like I thought he was one of Humber Dink's guards. - No!
(laughing) - He's literally that little kid. - That is so funny. - You didn't
recognize the boys meet world of it all and Fred said it with his face. - Sheen in
his eyes. - It's the brother. - It's the brother. - It's just like lesser brother,
yeah. - I've got a sermon on first Corinthians one. Where Paul's talking about like
the wisdom of the Greeks and the wisdom of the world and whatnot.
And I have a scene he's saying, have you heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates,
Socrates, morons? That was a good line. Yeah, that was really good,
yeah. Angelina, what do you think? You got a you got a sermon in here? Um,
I mean, no, no, I wasn't thinking about that. Obviously, more ironically, I'm sorry.
Pass, pass. You know, I think when I look at a certain when I look at a movie
like this, what I think is there's always a resurrection when you know the right
healer. Am I right? Well, so thank you, Pastor. In the eyes of God, nobody is
fully dead. Everybody is mostly dead and with a little juice and a little hope and
a little weird chocolate ball. Yeah, you too can come back to life. Can I get an
amen? Wait, so are you comparing Billy Crystal to Jesus? No, he's got the father.
Thank you. He sends the right tools. That's right. Yep.
The great healer. All right. What character in this Bible in this film would fit in
the Bible? This one's so easy. Let's all say it together. Okay. Wait, what? - What?
- What? - "Phesic as Goliath." - "Phesic as Goliath."
- "Zachias." - Oh, my goodness. - "Phesic as Zachias." Thanks. - As the little short
guy? - Yeah. - Who's in a tree? What kind of tree is this? Like an oak tree?
- "Zachias" was a wee man. - He's got to be like the Redwood. - I was like, no.
- He's not a wee man, right? - He is a wee man. - Jesus was actually in California.
(laughing) I just thought I started writing, I started writing down easy, "Physic as
Goliath," obviously, right? - Right. - And then I just thought, "No, that's stupid.
I'm gonna just write it down as a kiosk, 'cause it's funny." - Who's the most
inappropriate person that "Physic" could be in the Bible? I'm gonna say the Virgin
Mary. (all laughing) - Oh my goodness. - The horror of "Banel" on the-- (all
laughing)
Oh, he could well she was large wasn't she like a large woman Debra Debra Debra
Debra Yeah, I would say Debra looks like Andre the Giant. Yeah, what about the
angel like an archangel and he just looks like this massive thick
Don't be afraid. Yeah, I'd be afraid if Andre the Giant was my guardian angel Like
I'm Gabriel like I come to bring you bringing news. I don't know. I can't do this.
French and giant. I can't do this. French and giant. Yeah. Okay. I wasn't going to
say Pheasant. I said Indigo. He would make a good disciple. He like gave me an ego
in Indigo. Indigo. What is it? Indigo. Indigo. Like he's like he's a nice shade of
blue. Indigo. Like the color in the movie. He
Is it Inigo? - Inigo. - And he's Inigo all the time. - Inigo, Inigo Monta... - Is it
Inigo? - Inigo. - Inigo. - My name is Inigo Monta... - Inigo. - Inigo. - Is, do you
know any, do you have any friends named Inigo, Annie? - Nope. - Is it a common
Latin name? - It's not a real name. - Not that I have heard. - What is it? What's
the English version? Like, I... - It's a silent D. - Inigo? - Inigo? - I have heard,
I do know some Montoyas out there, but no. - Oh, for sure. - Bingo Martin? - Bingo?
(laughing) - Okay, anyways, He would make a good disciple, he gave his life to his
craft. He has scars of following Jesus. He gives him to temptation,
but then he gets reminded of his purpose. And he hears the cries of his teacher,
you know? He's like, the man in black is crying. I gotta go to him. He's paying
attention. - That's good, that's very detailed. - That's really good. - Yeah, that was
really good. I said that the king, like Prince Humphredinck's dad is so old,
he could be Methuselah. (laughing) - That's good, I That's good because he's like,
she kissed me.
Yeah, he was a little curious. She's like, I'm going to kill myself. And he's like,
she kissed me. Yeah, that was such a crazy moment. And then I said that the lady
who was yelling boo, like they're really crazy lady, she could be that guy in the
Bible who was throwing rocks at King David when he was on the run from Absalom.
That's really good. Yeah, she would be really good at, you know, just just like
emotional ramps, emotionally just terrorizing him as he walked past. Yes, I love
that. I think Billy Crystal's character is the witch of Endor. I feel like if you
would have come to Billy on a different day and been like, I need to talk with
somebody who's not in our realm. I'm really jealous of that. I'm super jealous of
that. Yeah. And then He just pops open a cauldron and he's like, "You got a
salamander's eye? - Are you sure it's, are you saying it's Billy Crystal or his
wife, Valerie, the witch? - I think they're a power couple, power witch couple. - Why
can't the witch of Endor be like two, but like one flesh, you know, two is one.
- Well, here's an even better question. - One flesh witch. - Well, no, I think--
- Why is the witch of Endor a woman? - Okay, no, here's what I think. I think the
witch, I think the which would be Valerie and then Billy Crystal's character would
be the guy pretending to be whoever they're trying to talk to to get people to
come back you know like to swindle them do you think the witch of Endor was not
legit I think that they were probably surprised that Samuel actually showed up I
don't know that's that's interesting take I haven't heard that one anyway yeah so I
like that. That's good.
Shoot, I had something really great to say. Oh, should we mute you right now? No,
I'm done coughing, Danielle. But if you'd like to say anything, I'd be happy to
mute you. Yeah, carry on. Is it the time, John? It sure is.
With this film, be better with... John Calvin, Martin Luther,
Martin Luther King, Junior, Saint Augustine, Saint Nicholas, Harriet Tubman, John
Brown, John the Baptist, Elijah, Legion, or Joel Osteen, or Kirk Cameron. Okay, let's
all say it at the same time. Okay, one, two, three, Martin Luther King, Junior,
John Brown. All right. I think this film would have been good with one non -white
person. Yeah, that would have been nice. A little bit of color So on this
whiteboard, you know, 1987 was the year that the Church of Latter -day Saints started
allowing black people to attend temple. And that was also the year that Rob Reiner
decided to never cast black people again. So what does that tell you? Hollywood's so
black, right? Or Hollywood's so white? Hollywood's so Mormon. That's the problem.
They're like, "Oh, you're going to tell me what to do? You can't tell me how I
cast my movies." Yeah. See, I think that, isn't John Brown the guy who led like
the slave revolt? Attempted. Attempted. Okay. Yeah. Well, I think that he probably
would have been helpful trying to see each the castle. Pretty sure. Yeah. That's
true. 100%. Yeah. I have a Kurt Cameron as the little kid. But I don't have,
I don't have like young, like child actor, Kurt Cameron.
- I have like him as an adult. - Adult Kirk Cameron. - Like right now. - Like right
now, right now. - Like pretending to be an eight year old boy. - Peter Falk is
reading him stories. - No, I like the idea that he's like in bed, like playing
these old little video games with a blankie over him. Just like, grandpa,
this story's got too much kissing. - He would say that. - Yeah. - Oh my God. - Okay,
I had Joel Osteen could play Prince Humbertink. - Oh, 100 % but here's my here's the
defining quote. Okay, I'll let you guys pick F3. Okay, that would be Joel Osteen as
Prince Humperdink. Is this Joel Osteen or Prince Humperdink? Yes, is this Joel Osteen
or Prince Humperdink? I think everything could be a trap. Why I'm still alive.
Humperdink. Humperdink. That's correct. Okay. I will be very put out. Humperdink.
Humperdink. And then this is the last one. - Consider me, consider me as an
alternative to suicide. - Cholosteen. - Cholosteen. Cholosteen.
I've heard that sermon. - Surprisingly good. - Surprisingly good. - I also had another
one. - I love you. - I had another one. I feel like you guys are gonna be
pleasantly tickled by this one. So there's the scene where they enter the, what is
it called? The forest of? - Despair. - Despair. - No, the pit of despair. - No, the
pit of despair. - Pit of despair, yeah. - The fire swamp? - Yeah, the fire swamp,
yeah. - The pit of despair. - No, no, no, the pit of despair is where he goes.
- Yes. - It's where he gets tortured. - It's where he gets tortured. - No, so in the
fire swamp, we have these big, lard rats. - R -O -U -S's. - I would like to add to
the list our fat beagle, Mosley. (laughing) And he just comes into this film as one
of the swamp rats. - Uh -huh. - You know? What do you think of that, Danielle?
- Would he just nibble on you if he found you? - I think, you know, but he's too
happy. You know, he would charge after people 'cause he wanted to say hi. - But he
wouldn't eat you. - We like to have this running joke whenever we see large animals.
We're like, "What a Moseley." - Uh -huh, yeah. - Like, or talk, you know? - We just
point him out and he's like, "What a Mose." - "What a Mose." - I had this moment
watching this film when I saw that rat thing. And I was like, man, CGI is kind of
ruined, like how fun practical effects were. But then he had that fight with it.
And I realized there's a guy in there that's just a guy crawling around.
Because there was a moment when it fell on its side and it got back up. But it
got back up in a way that no creature knew. Because he kind of like, like shuffled
back and like bent his elbow and pushed himself. but I'm like, there's a guy in
there, there's a guy in there. - It looked like, it looked like a, like the rat
ate a guy and the guy's like helping the rat out. - It is like symbiotic
relationship. - The rat now has superpowers. - It's like an inverse Ratatouille. - Oh
my gosh, yeah, the rat is. - But the rat is. - The man is inside the rat.
- What if the guy who came up with Ratatouille did come up with it, watching the
princess bride? in the princess bride was like what if the rat was the one doing
the controls yeah yeah and then when the rat got burns to death he was like a
cooking movie oh wow yes cook it well hey john well done well done do you think
those rats kind of look like for all us in arizona havelinas a little bit yeah
poke to yeah if you didn't get a good look at the long snout yeah until it looked
a little bit like a chupacabra. - Oh yeah. - We talked about this in Cocoa. I don't
think you know what a chupacabra is. - Yeah, chupacabras are goat likes. - Yeah, dang
it. - They're not goat like. - Did we already cover this? - Suckers. - Oh my bad.
- Is this the second chupacabra reference in the history of this podcast? - Is it
really? - It is. - Let's unpack this because this is very important for Southwestern
folklore. First of all, there's a lot of iterations of what the chupacabra looks
like. I've seen some that look like a giant, kind of reptiloid, uh, mosquito -like.
Yeah, you were taking a whole lot of ownership of the Chupacabra, just now, Annie.
What? As if my version of the Chupacabra couldn't be, like, rat -like. It had to be
goat -like. Well, I just always said it was goat -like. Well, because Chupacabra means
the goat -sucker. Mm. Oh. That's the thing, it's known for, like,
draining the blood out of life. It sounds rat -like. Yeah, that sounds, that sounds
like why what would rat drains the blood? It's not a vampire. So then what
everything has to say, what does a chupacabra look like? Everything has teeth. Let's
invest to get that claim. I mean, I thought it was a goat. I thought it was a
goat man. What does it look like? What is it? You know, I guess it John's right.
It actually just like attacks goats. That's literally what it's fascinating. Who are
we crucifying guys? Uh, well, I wouldn't talk to chupacabra personally. Well, now the
cucumber because that I have hot takes guys, this is who is on the repentive is
passive men, you know, Wesley like leaves a boy and he comes back a man, you know,
and he pursues his woman and like all men are on the repentance side.
Yeah, like pursue your woman. You know, that's what I'm saying. I'm here for it.
Yeah. I mean, I'm here for it, but Like they can be redeemed passive men if they
start they're not passive figure out their stuff It's interesting to describe them as
passive men Because in order to become not passive and then we're moving on okay
Okay, and then my unrepentant is small male ponytails like grow a big one or just
cut it off, you know
Okay, that's really good. I got um For For unrepentant, I have people who do the
inconceivable line in real life. It's literally the worst. Oh my goodness,
I can't. Whether they do the thing where they say, "I do nothing that means what
you think it means," or they just do inconceivable, I just can't stand it. What's
the other one? All those people need to be convinced. Like, as you wish, some
people do that too, and I'm like, "Don't do There's a lot of lines from this movie
that like people will say in real life and we're just like come on Okay, here's
one though. My dad says it all the time. I think it's funny when We're you know,
he's like being impatient. He does that. I'm waiting I always think it's funny when
my dad does it. But my dad's a short cute
It's funny when your dad does it if any other person do that like that's a
terrible line. - Yeah, I definitely do it to my students. I do, I've definitely
said, and they don't know what I'm talking about. They're like, do you think it's
just mostly like, what generation do you think quotes this movie the most? - Probably
ours. - Millennials. - I think it's a split between ours and those like,
those Ginexennials, like the ones who like, don't really have a generational home to
claim. - What generation are - Millennials, Millennials. - Well, we and I are
definitely millennials. - Oh, okay. - You guys might be the gen -xennials. - We are
not gen -x. - Anyway, I have a couple of Millennials. - I have a couple more.
- Okay. - So connected to what I just said about people using the inconceivable line
in real life, it just made me think, honestly, like people who quote movies all the
time, those people are unrepentant - Mm -hmm, crucify them. Like people who just like
they have nothing but pop culture references and you're just supposed to like know
what they're talking about. - Yeah. - You know those kinds of people? - Is it people
who quote it and take it as their own? - No, no, it's just like people who are
like constantly like quoting movies and stuff like that. Just like, you know, you're
working and they're just saying this thing. - They're like, "Inconceivable." - They're
always making references.
- Uh, anyway. - All right, Can I do mine? Yeah, please. Uh, my repentance is,
uh, acts of violence for the sake of payback or vengeance.
And you go, I'm sorry about your dad, bro. You need to let it go. So you're
saying you wouldn't avenge your father? We're sorry, JT, if you're listening. This
was his whole life. It was, it was, it consumed him. He even said, and I think
This is the most thoughtful line that kind of becomes a joke because of because of
Kerry Elvis's response. But he's like, I've dedicated the last 20 years to vengeance.
I don't know what to do with myself. And he's like, you're going to Paris, smoke a
cigarette and have a little baguette. He didn't even say Paris, we don't. He's like,
have you ever thought of becoming a pirate? That's what he said.
Because he's going to pass on the dead pirate Roberts to him. He's going to become
a criminal. Have you I thought it was Paris,
I thought he was just like, go to Europe loser, John, let's consider like life in
the monarchy, like these are peasants, you know, there's not many jobs out there for
you, a lot of jobs out there, you got to get out of their class, he's got a ship
ready for him, you know, you can't pass up to this kind of opportunity. I, I think
the poor guy Needed to learn to forgive and to move on. I'm not saying that
justice shouldn't have befallen this six -fingered man but He made his whole life
like this is my end result I once to kill the man who killed my father Which now
means that that dude's son is gonna spend the next 20 years trying to kill him
looking for the five -fingered man
Harder a - A much harder journey. - Well, no, shouldn't the man who killed his
father then have his own kind of calling card? He's not a fly figure, man. - He's
looking for the, for the mustachio, man. - He's looking for that Spaniard who's
always saying that thing about how his father, this is his name and his father was
killed and he's gonna avenge his father. - I think that's exactly it. He needs his
own stick. Okay, that's my repentant. My unrepentant one is kind of what you guys
were saying earlier, but it's expanded Every single meme template that has to do
with this movie. I'm sick of them. I'm sick of all
2009 anymore Step up your memes. I got to be honest. I'm sick of it.
I'm a little bit Nervous about doing memes for the Instagram on this one.
Yeah, because the memes are so played out for this whole film. Oh, I got you.
Well, is tapped dry. I don't I don't know about that. Bone dry. There are several
quotes and stuff from this movie that feel particularly relevant. Yes, I think that's
good. But like you said, the the that thing, that word you say is may not mean
what you think it means. So played out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, two - Yeah,
two thumbs down. - There was, there was just to Annie's point of like the
foreshadowing for now. There was foreshadowing to masks in 2022 when they were like,
they were like, I don't trust people in masks. And then he was like, they're so
comfortable. I foresee everyone wearing them. - That's pretty funny. - In the future,
yeah. - It was fancy who said that. So, you know. - I have a repentant thief.
- Okay. - Closeted princes. Closeted princes. Yeah. I just I just love the sass that
Humber Dan brings. Oh, I see. I see. Like he's such a stiff little guy,
you know. And he's just like, you know, he just demands everything to just be a
certain way. I just love it. He's just kind of like a spoiled rich kid. That's
what I thought of. I mean, he's clearly a gay man and he has to fulfill this. I
think he's clearly a gay man. You don't think he's clear with it? I'm not swayed
by Buttercup at all. And she's gorgeous. - Wasn't him and the-- - And she's swayed
by Buttercup. - He knows that Buttercup and his dad are probably more of an item
than this. - Okay. - Was it not implied that him and the six -fingered man have kind
of a thing? - I don't think so. - That's interesting. - I think that's extra
canonical. - Yeah, that might be a theory. - But he did was like, he didn't really
care when she was like, I don't love you. And I'd rather kill myself. He was like,
like I'm not really put out, you know. - Yeah. - I got a question. Would you guys
rather have six fingers on your hand or six toes on your foot? - Six toes. - I
don't know. It would it be like a big toe and it's like kind of health or it
would be in like an extra pinky toe that really does nothing? - I'm gonna say it's
red in the middle. - For a finger, like, is there something cool I can do with
that six finger? - Yeah, an extra ring. - That's up to you, man. Yeah, I mean,
- You got a lot more real estate French jewelry. That's pretty big. Texting might
get easier. - Oh, for sure. - Typing, oh my gosh. - Yeah, for sure, yeah. - I guess
a toe. - Opening doors. - I'll do the toes. - I'll do the toes. - I think I'll do
the toe, but-- - You can just hide it with shoes. - But then finding shoes is gonna
be more difficult. - You just gotta get the wides. - In this scenario, are we saying
that you have to be, you're like ashamed of one of these things, so would you
rather be ashamed of your foot or-- - I think you have to be ashamed of it. - You
can live with - Maybe actually, maybe I'll go with the hand 'cause I could just
wear long sleeves like Anne Boleyn. I think that she had like an extra finger or
something. - Did she? - I think that she did and she wore long sleeves for that,
I'm pretty sure. - Wow. - Maybe it was just a rumor. - Do you think that affected
her fertility?
- Well, about like the gender of her children that's actually decided by the sperm,
not the woman. So I don't think that impacted her at all. - I think that's worth
some research. - Anyways, my repentant and unrepentant, okay, repentant,
hot take, okay, Wesley, loved the guy, had a huge crush on him when I was a kid.
He was a little bit annoying though, because he was that annoying person who just
started something, and then they're like, oh yeah, I just started, but I'm really
good at it and I'm better than most people, you know what I mean? Like, Indigo has
been doing sword fighting for 20 years. Wesley just started, what, five years ago?
- Oh, he was just a farm boy. - He He beat the crap out of him. Yeah. Yeah. He's
like, I'm not left -handed either. Yeah I do. Yeah, I do struggle with people like
that. Yeah, they just like pick up something all of a sudden They're just like
professional. Yeah, and they're like, oh, yeah, whatever. No problem. Cut those people
down. Yeah
He must have been a great freaking slave boy though
Incredible slave this guy I've never had a cleaner horse
like that's why she actually missed it for five years she's like this is the stable
is a mess the house has just gone to ruin she can't reach any jars it's just this
incredible housekeeper yeah yeah my unrepentant thief would be consolidation of
unchecked power and also
Alternative ways to try to start wars with other countries all that stuff.
Yeah Yeah, you didn't even talk about the fact that Humper Dick was planning to
kill his wife To start a war to start a war. Oh true. Yeah, that's not good
politics though, man Yeah politics brah sometimes you just got to do what you got
to do the Princess Bride House of Cards
Is this a Christian film guys, we hold on who needs the gospel the most
Ben Savage the little boy
It still exists in the princess bride universe, and
- True, he doesn't need the gospel. - Yeah, yeah. - That's my answer. - That's pretty
fair. - You're sticking with it. I'm gonna stop. - I'm sorry. - Yeah. - I said
"physic" because he's like carrying other people's burdens. - Literally. - He's like,
yeah, he's carrying his drunk friend. He's carrying bodies. They're just like, "You
can got it." And I would probably, how I would preach it to him is I would say,
"Jesus' yoke is easy in his burdenless light." - Yeah. - Wow. - That's good. - I came
up with mine mostly because I just had thought of a verse and I was just like, I
was more so thinking about like how, how are we going to present the gospel to
these people? I want to speak to something that speaks to them. So the verse that
I specifically thought about is, our God is a consuming fire, you know? Like I
thought this would be really relatable to the fire swamp. So I'm preaching the
gospel to the fire swamp. - Oh, like to the big rats or to the guy inside of it.
I'm just going to be a missionary to the fire swamp, you know, and I'm just going
to preach the gospel there like St. Francis. Yeah. Our God is a consuming fire,
guys, just like this swamp. Like everyone has to get past the rats, the sand, the
sand traps, and you preaching the gospel to them. Speaking of sand traps, I'm glad
you brought that up. When you were a child, did you not think that like that
quicksand was just going to be something you're going to have to deal with every
day of your life? - Yeah, and lava. - And lava. And tornadoes. - Yes,
yeah. I always had a plan going on in my head. - Do you think those rats were the
apex predator or did something hunt them? - Wow. - I think that's kind of scary.
- Because whenever they were like, oh, the fire swamp, the R -O -U -S's were like one
of the biggest threats. - Rats of unusual size. - Yeah.
- Mosley of unusual mouse mouse all right um yeah are we all there yeah do we
preach the gospel to everyone did we did we preach it is this a christian film
okay uh no wow i say no now even though you've been saying no i have said that
everything is every every film is a christian film and i saw the whale and i was
like is it some movies - Did you recently see the whale for the first time?
We saw it with each other. - I just thought about it a while ago and I was like,
what is this? - 'Cause we just watched The Mummy. - Yeah, we did just watching The
Mummy, that's probably right. - So I think watching The Mummy just conjured up all
these whale memories. - Oscar winner, Brendan Fraser. - Yeah. - Is this a Jewish film?
'Cause the grandpa does say Shalom. (laughing) - That's Shalom, yeah. - Should we add
that as a category? - Is this a Jewish film? - Is this a Muslim film? (laughing) If
it's not a Christian film, what's the next one? - Oh, that's really interesting. - Is
this a Mormon film? - Ooh. - Definitely no. - No, I don't think so. - I was gonna
say, the women were showing their ankles, but that's-- - I say, is this a Christian
film?
Everything is a Christian film, quote John Simon. - Correct. - There is a sense that
the - Right has been wronged. I'm sorry, wrong has been righted. He gets the girl,
he topples the tyrant, justice is found. But then there's also this beautiful moment
when he's like, maybe I need to figure out what's left for my life beyond justice.
- So maybe Paris. - Maybe Paris. - Maybe Paris. - It's like he was, gosh,
I can't believe, - It's so funny, dude. - Have you thought this this whole time?
- Really? I was like Paris, I guess. Anyways, I say yes.
- Are we encouraging? - Yes. - Cool. - What is the best encouragement quote that she
would send to your struggling friend in a text message? What do you guys got?
- Rest well and dream of large women. (laughing)
- That's good. - That's great. - That's really well done. - Well Um, I don't know. I
think one of the more heartwarming quotes in here that I was always really sweet is
death cannot stop true love. All I can do is delay it for a while. I was like,
oh, my God, so sweet. I looked over at Danielle and we did. Yeah, yeah, it was,
it was cute. So you got a friend who's really struggling, like. Comparing themselves
to others around social media a lot, like they're just kind of stuck on their
phone. You know, they're just really struggling with like phone addiction, the screen
time and all that. I just remind them, nobody withstands the machine.
Oh, like just give into it. Yeah. No, no, no, don't give into it. Just avoid it.
Avoid it. Nobody withstands the machine. Oh, I thought you were just saying like,
hey bud, nobody withstands it, just accept your fate. Yeah. I mean, also that I
also, I thought it'd be good to, um, uh, we brought this up earlier, but people in
masks cannot be trusted. - Mm -hmm. - You know, it's like, you know, it's something
that we haven't really dealt with, you know? - We've all dealt with that, yeah,
yeah. - Yes. - Well, we have dealt with a certain person who feels like that is
true. - Yes. - You know? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. John, do you have a quote over there?
- I kind of struggle in here, 'cause again, there's so many, like, of the very,
very famous quotes. Let's see. How about, "We are men of action.
Lies do not become us." Oh, that's good. That's a good one. That's a good one.
Wait, who says that? Wesley. Yeah, I remember that. To the Six -Fingered Man. Oh,
Logan? That's right. Yeah. That's right. That's right.
What if he got that extra finger added? Why? Oh,
for show, because he's like rich. Uh, back then he was just like one of those
things he's like fingers. Yeah. Must be a bureaucrat. He's rolling. That day is
doing real well with himself. He's got six fingers. Holy moly. My gosh. He has the
hands looking real high. Who needs the most prayer? Um, yeah.
Buttercup. Okay. She I have a hot take. I don't think she's the brightest because
think about it. She throws herself down the hill she doesn't recognize she doesn't
recognize Wesley she catches fire like constantly you know like twice at least and
then she's just watching the rat fight and she doesn't she doesn't do anything she's
just like dang she's like this is rough that sword so far out of reach and she
says she says I'll never doubt you again and then she does immediately. - Yeah. - I,
yeah. - Do you think they last? - Wow. - I think so. I believe in love.
- I hope so, yeah. - Yeah, I believe in love. - I don't believe in love. I don't
believe in piracy. - But he's not, he said he was retiring. - He's retiring, yeah.
- Can you just reform a pirate? Just like that? - Blood in, blood out, I believe.
- They haven't really spent a lot of time together as a relationship, so I would
say-- - They're gonna have to deal with some stuff. - I would say I'll reevaluate
after a year. - There's gonna be conflict that's gonna come up. - Yeah, I'm curious.
I kind of want to see the sequel. - Yeah. - Oh, is that where we are? - No. - Oh,
we're so close. - Are we in prayer? - We're praying? - Yeah. - She's praying for
Buttercup? - Yeah, I'm praying for Buttercup. Who are you guys praying for? - I would
pray for Inigo because he obviously has a drinking problem. And I would pray that
he would help, that he would find meaning to his life, you know? - It was so one
-track mind. - That has a eternal value because there's quote,
not a lot of money in revenge.
And also just as a side note, I think one of the things I was kind of impressed
by with Indigo is how, you know, when he's like fighting Count Rugen,
he does give him like exactly each and every single wound that he received,
Which actually I think shows a lot of restraints is the, you know Is that you
could you sometimes go a little too far or a lot too far. Anyway stabbed him in
the chest Well, yeah, but that's also how he killed his dad. Yeah. Yeah It's not
like I'm gonna see killing. I'm just saying he got him in the shoulder Just like
he did and also he threw a dagger at his stomach and he gave anyway. Yeah He's
just very measured I just realized I just realized, this just came up listening to
you. I'm praying for people who have to be involved in sword fights. Yeah, you
know. Yeah, it's hard to walk away unscathed. There's nothing I want less than being
stabbed. But you don't think England then, yeah, there's a lot of knife crime over
there. Should we go back to swords though, over guns, 'cause think about it. That's
what England's doing, and there's a lot of knife action out there. Seriously? Oh
yeah. If you go to London, you won't get shot. You'll get stabbed. - Wow. - Yeah.
- That's good, that's good. - With a sword? Like will you see it coming or not
really? - It's not like a rapier, Daniel. They have like switch blades and stuff.
- No, that's not fun. - Yeah. - I'm gonna be praying for anybody who has to go into
the pit of despair. - Yeah. - I think that should be discontinued. - Yeah. - Yeah.
- I'm not into it, you know? - I'm not a fan. - Don't do that. - Yeah. - Don't
water people or whatever they They would do it. Waterboarding. Is that like, yeah.
Where is he? Waterboarding? No. I mean, he's like sucking the water out. Sucking the
water out of his body? Yeah. I'll pray for Fezik, you know? He's kind of like a
lackey, and I think he needs his own life. Maybe he needs to go back to Greenland,
where, uh, where Vizini found him. Where someone has dinner with him. Yeah. Yeah.
Large sheets of him. Couple of large women hanging out waiting for him. You know? I
feel like he'd probably marry like a five foot two girl. - Oh, you think so? - I
think he would. It tends to happen that way. - He's a basketball player, you know?
- Oh, yeah. - He's seven foot six. - It's very tall. - The big man. - All right,
what's the idol of this movie? - Well, not kissing. - No, I mean, even though there
sure is a lot. - There's a lot of kissing. I think it's the, we kind of touched
on it a little bit, but like the true love can be found in a person, you know?
Like I do love the quote that Annie said, like death not stop true love, but the
actual true love is Jesus, right? Because your love here on earth will end.
Hopefully not. We believe in eternity. But yeah, I think that's the idol that you
can find love in a person. I like that. Yeah. I think it's a great question,
but I sometimes struggle with it a little bit because it's not to say that whatever
the idol is isn't at times in some - It's a good thing, right? - Yeah, of course.
- Obviously, all of us here are married, you know? - Oh yeah. - And we obviously
sometimes long for justice or maybe revenge sometimes. I think, but right when you
take something that's good and make it an ultimate thing. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - So I
said love, I guess. I mean, when I was a kid, I just remember trying to glean as
much about romance or love or relationships from these movies. And what do I learn?
You know what I mean? That there's somebody out there that I just meet one time or
whatever. And then I'm just going to be thinking about them for years and years and
years. And it's like, this is not a healthy way to live. Yeah, 100 percent. Yeah.
I think it's comeuppance for me. I think. Comeuppance. Yeah. Like every everyone you
you you're introduced to all these characters, specifically like Fezik, Diego Montoya,
Wesley, Buttercup. All of them have been the victim of some great injustice and all
of them kind of get their like just rewards in like a good way. They all get
what's good for them. And I don't think any of that is bad. I think it's good
that there's justice and that love reunites and all these things. But this is, as
we know, a very seldom reality in the world that we live in. And yeah,
I mean, it's it's like Annie said, it's a good thing. But it is definitely like
this is like it's the it's the happy ending. Yeah, yeah, you know, yeah, I I wrote
down kind of in line with the whole notion of the happy ending that like bravery
can save us. There's a lot of these movies where it's just like pure might and
bravery like will win out in the and cunning. Yeah. But just like Wesley gets
buttercup and they all move on, but like, there's still like people suffering. Yeah.
I was listening to another podcast, this, I know how dare listening to anything
else. But there's talking about how we oftentimes will pray for like the common
things like health, wealth, happiness, and we assume if we don't get them, then
somehow God isn't good. Like, and, and as humans, we're going to suffer. And so
it's like, it's, it was getting at the idea of looking at like, okay, I already
know God is good. So how does this change my view of my health not being good, my
finances not being good, my, you know, because those things are going to happen,
it's not like God's being, God's not good because my health is failing me. Yeah.
All right. Are we at the best part of the show? No, we got to ask a little text.
I have a big question. We have the sequel. No, the what are you asking the text?
I have a question. Yeah, I have a question too. Does Miracle Max's pill restore all
of the 50 years that he got stolen? Oh, that's a good question. Yeah, how long
does he have? Yeah, how long does he have basically? It's easy. You have to like
go back and get a pill like
Like, yeah, what was that pill as a pharmacist? That was a suppository.
Oh, my gosh. Everything comes back in full circle. See, we're doing something about
your butt and smoking.
Guys, what's what's what's up with Humberdink? You know about him?
He's just tied him and then just leave them there. What do you think? What happened
to him? What do you think his next few hours are like? He's probably, he probably
cries. Yeah, he definitely cries. Yeah, but then they also are like, well, he can
track a falcon on a cloudy day. Oh, yeah. He can find you. So it's like... He's
probably coming after them. Yeah, where are they going to go? They have to go to
Greenland or somewhere. Don't you think it'd be easier to track a falcon on a
cloudy day because you can like see them against the backdrop of the clouds? Depends
on the shade of the falcon. Yeah, I guess so. if he's dark grey and you're out of
luck, if he's an albino, you're good to go. OK, I have a question. He,
Wesley says this. He says the real Roberts is retired 15 years and living in
Patagonia. Patagonia Lake, Arizona. There's also Patagonia in Spain. Yeah. OK,
that's not what I thought. It's talking about Arizona. Arizona. Oh, you're right.
You're right. I'm sorry. Yeah. All right, OK. John, any questions? - Is it time?
- It's time. - All right, what's the sequel? - Wow. - Okay, I have one. It's called
"The Princess Dies" and it just ends as a horror film and grandpa's saying life
isn't fair. And then it cuts to black. - Okay. I have "The Prince Husband".
It's the entire story, but told through Wesley's perspective. - Oh, I would actually
like to see that. - Is this, but what if it's like role reversed where now Robin
Wright has to rescue him. And he's a dumb bimbo. - I've watched that. Who's Prince
Humperdink or Princess Humperdink? Who is that? - Margo, Margaret Qualley. - Oh,
wow. - I thought you were saying Margo Robbie and I was like, "Don't you dare." - I
get my words mixed up.
- All right, what else we got guys? - I said the princess wife and it's just what
their married life is like. Now that they are trying to get to know each other but
she's not a princess unless they like come upon a kingdom and they're like hey we
need somebody to take this over maybe they go to Florin the sworn enemy no they go
to what's it called that guilders the guilders leave yeah whatever and you know they
become royalty over there and then oh yeah and now they're at war with Humphredink
and I overthrow him or something I don't know Yeah, I thought of one where We're
Buttercup and Wesley have a very unfortunate DNA test and it's called the incest
bride
I have one called the princess bribe Where he's pays humbling buttercup gets
Buttercups a bit of a gambler and she gets in in deep with some racket racketeers.
Oh and she's getting into some situations and then pretty soon people are saying
that they're going to spread this information for the whole kingdom to know about
you know buttercups gambling and so they have to pay them off you know. That's the
whole movie. I have one where well actually I'll tell the title is the princess
inside and it's like an inside out where we see we watch the whole movie but we
see the little emotions going on. I have one called the princess mom so it's like
she's they've got kids now but Amanda Bynes is the daughter like young Amanda Bynes
and so I thought Amanda Bynes right now. No because she played like a princess you
know and what's his name Colin Firth was her dad and she's like trying to
understand her like role. Wait, what was the movie called? What a Girl Wants, I
think. What a Girl Wants, yeah. And so it's sort of like Disney Channel princess,
mother -daughter relationships type of thing. Yeah. I would watch that. Yeah. I
thought of one where Inigo and Fezik do like kind of a buddy cop movie It's kind
of like a spin -off um, I didn't think of a cool punny name for it So we'll just
call it my dinner with Andre But it'd be cool. It'd be good. Yeah, they're like
reminiscing on all their cases together. Yeah. Yeah My summer with Andre my summer
with Andre. Yeah, I was trying to think of a clever rhyme Okay, my last one is a
movie where Phezik gets the girl and it's called the princess wide I had a I just
had some good titles here I have to princess to bride as a title as a sequel okay
all right princess to bride right and then from there obviously princess bride Tokyo
drift I thought of one where I don't know,
they get together, it's kind of getting into their marriage, and they're realizing
they're kind of falling out of love. And it's the princess backslide. You know,
they're just not where they used to be. I got one. It's basically this whole movie
remade, all black cast, The Princess Jive.
Honestly, not as racist as I thought you were going to go. I really, I was like,
oh, you could go a lot of some interesting places there. there. Yeah. Wow. So here
we are. What, uh, what emails are we getting guys? I know we're getting the F word
apparently. You're not allowed to say foreskin on a podcast. Good Lord. Yeah. Wow.
If we say it one more time, we're going to get flagged as an all rated podcast.
We're not going to be heard in Saudi Arabia. Yeah. That's our biggest audience right
now. Okay. Okay. Okay. All right. There's going to be a lot of heat. That's the
Tory. That's - Pository? - Pository, that's not it. - Do you think maybe some of them
are Saudi Arabian fan base? - Maybe some angry Australians that we didn't know their
history. - Oh, yeah, they're like, you're not all criminals. Some of us were prison
guards. - Some of us watched those prisons.
- Yeah, I don't know. Eight people who are just upset that we, that we did some
popular movie. All the hitsters out there. - Actually, Maybe some people are gonna be
mad and be like don't come at me about my movie quotes. I'll quote movies
Also, I can I can imagine people in my life now just quoting movies to me all the
time Yeah, I've vocalized this now that you vocalize it. Yeah, I know one part I
have a co -worker in mind that does this all the time and if you ever listen to
this, he'll know
Yeah, and you can stop I think we did it guys. I think we did it, guys. All
right, hey, listener, you did a great job. Look at how far you've gone. Yeah. Well,
it's been fun. Yeah. We'll talk to you later. Bye. Bye. Bye.