Embodied

In this episode of The Shadows We Cast, I sit down with Tychon Carter for a conversation about identity, self-trust, and what it really means to come back to yourself.

Tychon shares his experience of growing up feeling misunderstood — navigating early messages around masculinity, emotional expression, and what it meant to be “right” or “wrong.”

We talk about the identity shift that comes in early adulthood, especially when something that once defined you suddenly falls away — and the quiet, often confusing experience of feeling misaligned, even when everything looks “good” on the outside.

Tychon reflects on how his time on Big Brother Canada became an unexpected turning point — not because of the game itself, but because of what happens when the noise disappears and you’re left with your own instincts.

Throughout this conversation, we explore vulnerability, emotional literacy, and the process of rebuilding self-trust — including the powerful work of forgiving the version of yourself who had to survive.

We also talk about the small, practical ways we can begin to reconnect with ourselves — from noticing what we feel, to creating routines that support both our mental and physical well-being.

This is a conversation about embodiment — about learning to listen, to trust, and to return to who we are beneath everything we’ve been taught to be.

ABOUT TYCHON CARTER

Tychon Newman-Carter is a Canadian speaker, mental health advocate, and community builder, widely known as the first Black winner of Big Brother Canada and a contestant on The Amazing Race Canada.

Beyond television, Tychon has built a platform centered around emotional awareness, personal growth, and self-trust. Through his work, he shares openly about his own experiences navigating identity, masculinity, and mental health — using storytelling, humor, and lived experience to make these conversations more accessible.

His work also explores intergenerational trauma and anti-Black racism within African-Canadian communities, while emphasizing the importance of mindfulness, meaningful relationships, and purposeful routines as foundations for resilience and well-being.

Connect with Tychon

• Website: https://www.tychoncarter.com/
  
  
• Instagram: https://instagram.com/tychonxcarter
  
  
• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@tychoncarter
  
  
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@tychonxcarter

Host/Producer/Writer/Director: Jenn St John

Editor: Andrew Schiller
Website: www.jennstjohn.ca
Follow along:
Instagram: @jenn_stjohn
LinkedIn: Jenn St John

If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need to hear it too.

Subscribe, leave a review, or just send a little love—your support helps these conversations reach the people who need them most.

Transcript

PODCAST:           The Shadows We Cast

EPISODE:             Embodied

HOST:                     Jenn St John

GUEST:                  Tychon Carter

LENGTH:              42:47

TRANSCRIPT

Tychon  00:01

For me as a child, there was this narrative that I seem to feel and remember, of always being wrong. It's his fault. He's the one that did it. He said the wrong thing, he did the wrong thing. He broke the thing. There's a feeling of my version of the story didn't matter. That child felt a lot of pain, felt a lot of hurt, struggled with identity, self worth, self esteem. There's like a perspective shift that has happened, which to me, represents a significant level of growth, and it's actually the act of forgiving that child.

Jenn St John  00:35

Hello and welcome to the shadows we cast a podcast about what we carry, the impact we leave and the messy, beautiful reality of mental health. I'm Jenn st John, a writer, business owner and a mental health advocate who grew up in a family shaped by mental illness. Some of it was heartbreaking, some of it darkly funny, and all of it shaped who I am today. Here we're going to share honest conversations, stories from me, from you and from those who have walked this road in different ways, through journal entries, letters from my mom and real conversations, we're going to pull back the layer on mental health, the tough parts, the moments that shaped us and how we move forward together. So grab a coffee, settle in and let's talk. You. Jenn,

Jenn St John  01:26

before we begin, just a quick note, this episode includes adult themes, including addiction, mental illness, trauma and suicidal ideation. Please take care in choosing when and where you listen, especially if you're in a sensitive place or you have little ones around. I also want to gently remind you that I am not a mental health professional. The conversations you hear on this podcast are grounded in lived experience, mine and the stories generously shared by others, my reflections, questions and opinions come from that place and not from clinical training. Our goal here is connection, not diagnosis, and this is a space for real stories, honest conversations, and the hope that in hearing them, you might feel a little less alone. So today's conversation is about being embodied, about what it means to live, not just in our heads, but in our bodies, our instincts and our truth. My guest today is tashawn Carter. Many people know tashawn As the first black winner of Big Brother Canada, or from his time on, The Amazing Race Canada with his dad, but the story we explore today goes far beyond television. Tashaun is somebody who has spent years navigating identity, performance, masculinity and mental health, first in silence and eventually with attention through his work as a speaker, advocate and community builder, he speaks openly about emotional awareness, self trust, and the long process of unlearning what we're taught about strength. In this conversation, we talk about growing up feeling misunderstood, about the loss of identity that can come when a life chapter ends, and about what happens when the noise quiets enough for us to finally listen to ourselves. We explore vulnerability, forgiveness, embodiment and the small, practical rituals that help us stay grounded. Well, not perfectly, but honestly. This conversation with to Sean is about coming home to yourself. So this is a journal entry frame. When I was young, mom just called I really love my mom, but it's hard sometimes to listen to her. She's been in this victim mode for so long that all I can hear is her feeling sorry for herself. I don't mean this harshly. It's just true. I know that the anger is the root of her pain, and until she's ready to let that go, she'll stay there. I learned a long time ago that to survive, I had to look for the positive in everything, even in the hardest moments. That was the only way to grit my teeth, to bite my tongue and to believe somehow that there would be better days. So reading that back now, I can hear the survival tone in my own voice and the need to stay hopeful even when things feel impossible. And it made me think about how early all of the emotional learning that we absorb in our homes, what gets spoken, what gets buried, and how we learn to cope with pain for you to Sean, when you think back on your childhood, how were emotions modeled for you as a boy, and what was going on your world at that time?

Tychon  04:20

Yeah, great question, and I thank you for sharing that. When I think about how emotions were modeled for me as a child, I'm actually writing a book about this. There's different ways to look at it. In the book, I talk about it through the lens of masculinity, but my earliest memory that comes up is the fact that as a child, especially in my younger years, I want to say like five to 10, or even 10 to 12, it just kept going. There was this narrative that I seem to feel and remember, of always being wrong. It's his fault. He's the one that did it. He said the wrong thing. He did the wrong thing. He broke the thing. I talked too much in class, getting suspended, I started the fight. And there's a feeling of my. Version of the story didn't matter for me. As a child, I was a pretty gifted child, like, I'll skip the grade. From a very young age, I just understood a lot of things. One of those things I was really going to understand was directions. I was always very good with navigation direction and say, like, an adult would be in the car and they'd be going the wrong way. Maybe, no, you're supposed to make a left here. They'd be like, you don't know what you're talking about, little kid. And so I was always pacified, and I felt like I was never heard, seen or listened to, and I felt invisible, isolated, misunderstood, yeah, when I think of my childhood, that was very much the theme, the theme of just being constantly misunderstood.

Jenn St John  05:35

And then the men in your life also, did you feel like that was being modeled by them? Were they feeling the same thing.

Tychon  05:40

Absolutely, I would say, like, the men didn't really talk about anything of true substance. When I think of like, all the men that I was surrounded with in my life, there was no substance to any of the relationships, necessarily. So it's like that would cause misunderstandings, because you're never saying how you feel or what's going on, or you're just talking about sports. There was no like, Hey, son, I know you're feeling angry, and you're probably feeling angry because of this, and it's understandable, but it's gonna be okay. These conversations never happened. So like looking at the way masculinity was modeled, to me, it was very much of a Don't Ask, Don't Tell, performative model where no one said much. You just had to learn from what you saw, but then what you saw was very confusing and conflicting.

Jenn St John  06:26

As Deshaun shares this, what stands out to me is how early our emotional lessons are formed, long before we have language for them. The messages that we absorb as children don't disappear. They shape how we see ourselves, how we cope and how we move through adulthood. So I know that you said this from the outside, that it looked like you kind of had it all. But when did you first realize that something

Tychon  06:50

fell off in my 20s? I would say, like through life, we have multiple identity shifts, and when our identity is called into question, I think for me, that's what seemed to trigger a lot of these something was off moments when I think about that, it's in my 20s. I had just left University and graduated and went into the working world. That transition is very jarring, especially because I was a student athlete, right? So, like, my whole life, I played basketball. You know, that was like all I did my friends play basketball. That's how I met girls. That's why I traveled. Everything was around basketball. And even in university, it was like, in my undergrad, I played basketball, and in my master's, I played basketball and I was also good, like I was an academic, all Canadian. I got all Star Wars. It was basketball, basketball, basketball. Then you graduate, and you leave and you go to the real world, and no one gives a shit about that. You go from like, saying hi to everybody on campus, hey, how you guys doing? Oh, you're the guy with basketball, to like, you go to work. No one cares. No one cares what you did, who you are. It's just very much like, how was your weekend? Cool? See you. And yeah, and do your job. Do your job. And that was that was jarring to me, especially because you're going from a place where you felt like you had status, and status was tied to masculinity, and it was this loss of status where I'm just a regular person at a regular job that I can't really be like, Oh, here's why I was late, or here's why, like, no one cares. There was that feeling, that jarring feeling from going to warmth to fold, and then it starts to make you question like, is this all there is in life? Start questioning your purpose. You start questioning your identity. Who even am I? Should I play more basketball? Or did I miss out on a whole other life because I was pursuing something that's

Jenn St John  08:33

not this? I think a lot of people go through that transition, but I can imagine for you and for people who are in your position, that's a whole other level of status, as you say, or just living life a certain way that when you then, all of a sudden are done, and you go to work and everyone's just living normal life nine to five and I mean, I went through the same thing when it's just, is this the rest of my life? Like this is what I'm gonna do for the rest of my life? Yeah, it's a huge transition. So it's understandable that that's when some mental health stuff might start to come up. I know for me, a lot of it started to come up as well, because it's also that you've lived your childhood and you've gone to school, and now I'm kind of almost the first time the pressure's maybe off a little bit, and you start to come down a little bit, because going through school is hard as well. So yeah, I think it's a very typical time for people when you first started to think about your mental health. Was there something that you felt created the opening for that? Or was it that you just personally were

Tychon  09:31

feeling it? I would say like I was always in touch with counselors throughout my schooling period, I was diagnosed with ADHD. I would cause a lot of trouble in school, but then was also recognized as gifted. They always want to do like testing on me and have them talk to this person and that person. I was very exposed to the idea of counseling and mental health practitioners. I was exposed to it. It wasn't for and so I feel like having that foot in the door was probably one thing, I'd say another. Thing is, like, I've always been a lifelong learner, so I've always been interested in learning and growing. And how do we become better? How do we get 1% better? And one of those things was around mental health and mindset, right? So it always made me want to learn. When I would read different things I know, like the concept of going to see a therapist was in a lot of the readings I would read, I'm thinking of a book I read. I can't remember who it was by what it's called, was by what it's called, for the love of men, and I just talked about the struggles of men and how we need support. And that's what kind of made me want to reach out and be like, let me explore what this looks like. And that's when I started going to therapy, and especially when your work pays for it. When I was working at nine to five, that was one of the great benefits. It got to go see a therapist or a counselor every month, and that was paid for on them. So like, I took advantage of it.

Jenn St John  10:46

That's pretty amazing at your age, because I would imagine that at that time, your peers would not be going through the same thing. They wouldn't have had that awareness, but also they wouldn't have had that exposure. Okay, so you're in your early 20s, and you're out of school and you're working. So what's going on mental health wise, is this kind of something you deal with on an ongoing basis, or is there something else that is triggering, or, you know, hard for you to deal with at this time?

Tychon  11:15

No, I don't think there was anything specific. And that's what became interesting over time. It just became this, like, this loop of, I don't feel aligned, but I'm not quite sure why, and then I'm going to therapy, I'm going to my job, I'm doing all these things, working five jobs, I'm making great money, like, all the things to think, okay, like I'm less and I'm privileged, but I still don't feel aligned. So there was this constant rumbling and undertone of lack of alignment, but it wasn't clear to me, like, where is this coming from, what exactly is triggering this? I couldn't find clarity on that, which added another level of frustration, and then the privilege added another layer of guilt. So now it's like, I'm guilty, I'm frustrated, but I can't I'm in this cycle, but I'm still high functioning, though I'm still going to the job, still smiling. Everybody looks at me. I look pretty happy, pretty fulfilled, but it was that underlying feeling of like, this is painful, like I refer to it as I remember living a lot of my life where my stomach would just hurt, I'd have gas, I'd have nausea, diarrhea, but I just got used to it. And I went to a naturopath one day, and they're just like, Yeah, this is not normal. So here's some things you could probably eating, and it will help. And then you start to live their stomach feeling normal, and you're like, oh, is this what it's supposed to feel like? And you're shocked, but it's like you got used to living in stress, in pain, and I think for me, it just became the baseline.

Jenn St John  12:35

Yeah, absolutely. And I think even in our 20s, I think a lot of people feel that for different reasons. That decade in your 20s is, I think you're doing all the things you're supposed to do. You've checked off all the boxes, and you're feeling is this all that's supposed to be happening, like this is what I'm supposed to be living Absolutely. So how did you move from there to Big Brother, Canada come into your life?

Tychon  13:00

Super random situation. And my dad, he's a stand up comedian, and he really wanted to go on to the Amazing Race, because, as I told you, I was really good at navigating directions. When I was a baby, he was a courier, and I would tell him where to go. So like, that was the relationship. We thought that would be a really good full circle moment, as he also wanted to, like, use the show to really promote his career. So naturally, he asked me to apply with him, and it was like an obvious match, and we applied. We're casted time to go two weeks away. Guess what? Year it is, 2020, it was like, All right, so I guess we're postponing the season until further notice. And who knew what that meant. So that was, like, kind of disappointing, because we're like, oh, you know what? That would have been so fun, so cool, but it's covid, so we're locked down. We're doing nothing. And then, funny enough, later on that year, I got a message from one of the producers from the show. She pretty much said, Hey, like, really loved you for the audition for Amazing Race. Would you audition for Big Brother? And I was like, What's big brother?

Jenn St John  14:03

So for context, big brother Canada places contestants in a closed environment. They're cut off from phones, from media, from the whole outside world. What fascinated me here wasn't the competition itself, but what happens when the noise disappears and you're just left with your instincts.

Tychon  14:22

And she's like, here's a link. Take a look. Watch a few episodes. Tell us what you think. We feel like you'd be good. You know, I watch a few episodes and I'm like, Yeah, guess. Why not random people living in the house? What else am I gonna do with covid? Okay, sure, yeah, I'm down. So I say, yes. I go through the audition process and yeah, I guess lucky to be on the show again. Like, I didn't want to be on camera. I wasn't really, like one of those people that was influencer. Maybe I can't want to be famous. It was very much. All right, cool. Let's do this, see what happens, and it'll be fun. It'll be really cool to come second. Weird thought, right?

Jenn St John  14:52

So get all the way

Tychon  14:55

there, but not come back in, right? So, you know, I got on the show, and I remember. Like, how awkward I want to leave, want to go home. Like, remember the trauma of always being wrong and doing the wrong thing was something again, I'm carrying and being on camera now. It's like people are watching me be wrong across the country. This is crazy. So anxiety, nervous the whole time, but then as time goes on, it just becomes your life now, right? And it wasn't something I envisioned going the direction that it went, until I got further into it. So week by week, people are going home, and I'm starting to look around and be like, no one's looking at me. By the way, no one's like, you know what we got to get rid of to shock. I'm just there, like, I'm just hanging out. Like it was like, Hey guys, how you guys? Like, it was a great time. And as times going on, I'm like, Oh my gosh, I could win this. I just got to get rid of this other guy, right? There's another guy in there who was like, he was

Jenn St John  15:47

playing all the games, yeah, like

Tychon  15:49

he was good, he was smart, he was funny, he was talented, he was good at everything. I'm like, if this guy goes home, oh, I'm winning for sure. It was almost like it felt like that game was meant for me in the place that I was at that moment, because it was just, it's a social game, and it's like, it's fostered on genuine connection. And I genuinely had love for everybody in that house. I want to get to know everybody, talk to everybody, and that worked well for the game, because when you need something from somebody, or they need a flavor from them, it looks so genuine, because I've already been talking to you, I think that was a concept people don't really apply in life, but that came so natural to me. So in the game, it's like, when I needed a favor, I needed to just be spared by somebody. Was like, they're gonna spare me.

Jenn St John  16:29

Well, that was literally my question was, what did this teach you about identity, authenticity? Is, you know, because obviously, as you said, just for that time in your life, exactly what you were going through, it was almost you were kind of meant to be there

Tychon  16:39

100% and really taught me, like, yes, the power of social connection, the idea of like, being authentic and genuine and also trusting your gut, how you feel in your gut about someone, is 100% right. 100% of the time, you actually just have to take the time and pay attention to it. And in life, we have so many distractions. We don't always pay attention to it. But in the house, there are no distractions.

Jenn St John  17:01

Yeah, there's a lot of noise, right? I was gonna say, what did it expose or amplify about your the anxiety and the self doubt that you had at this time in your life?

Tychon  17:10

It showed me the importance of self trust, and also highlighted the fact of how noisy the outside world is, because the outside world is your friend or your phone, there's social media, there's the venues, the show you watch, there's this you ran into this like, in the house, it's just you and the people in the house. That's it. You're not reading a book, you're not hearing a song. It's literally just you and them.

Jenn St John  17:33

Very interesting social experience.

Tychon  17:35

It is right? And you have to decide, like, what's the truth? And the truth, lot of times what you feel in your gut. But again, like we're not trained to listen to that, so some people have a hard time, even in the house, letting go of all what happened outside and bringing that in is trusting themselves. But like, I found that process even leading up to it therapeutic. When they took my phone, they're like, You look so at peace. I'm like, yes, because no one's calling me. I was bothering me. No one's blaming me for anything.

Jenn St John  18:01

Yeah, it's almost meditative.

Tychon  18:02

Yeah, I would love to do a silent retreat. I know I would do well at it based on the experience of leading up to the show.

Jenn St John  18:08

Yeah, that's literally what I was just thinking. I said this sounds like a silent retreat. So why do you think that silence still feels safer than vulnerability for so many men?

Tychon  18:19

I don't even think this thing is exclusive to men. I do think women are more vulnerable, but I think silence feels safer because the truth or what you're feeling requires you to face yourself. It requires you to take accountability. A lot of people have a hard time doing that. It also leads you to be judged potentially, and there's a cost of that to people that feels greater than just keeping it inside. And I think like with men, even more so, because there's this expectation of men to be a certain way in society, there's a picture of masculinity that has been painted for us. We're supposed to be strong, we're supposed to be tough, we're supposed to be a hero, we're supposed to be a provider, we're supposed to be all these things. And if there's something that can compromise that image that's inside of us, a thought or a feeling that can compromise that image, we're not going to share it. We're gonna hold it. And I think that's how the silence feels safer, because it's like, I don't want you to think I'm less of a man by sharing this thing.

Jenn St John  19:15

And now looking at both of us, who obviously have no problems being vulnerable and being open in a public way. Why do you think that's different? What's happened to us that's different?

Tychon  19:25

Like, I really believe in a faith, so sometimes, like, I feel like God calls us. I also think like it's our experiences that have shaped us in a way where this work has become part of our purpose and our mission, because we see the impact like it truly resonates with us at a deep soul level, like it's not something everybody wants to do. It's not like everybody wakes up and I want to talk about mental health. Like the joke was when I became an influencer, I'm like, I'd rather just be off on a beach with my shirt off and just be modeling. I wish my brain sometimes was just shallow, but it's like, shallow doesn't even feel like it aligns with me at all. And I remember I had someone on our podcast that said. Right? We only can understand at the level of our perception. And that quote stands out to me so much because it's like our perception has gotten deeper, and it's shaped by God. Whether it's our experiences, there's something within us that has been called to do more on this specific thing. And a lot of times I can have a logical understanding to it, but there also can be one that's just like, it's a spiritual thing,

Jenn St John  20:23

yeah, and emotional, and emotional is huge in there, right? Yeah. So if somebody were to come to you and just, you know, say, I want to be more vulnerable based on your experience, is there anything that you think could help people become more vulnerable? I think everything

Tychon  20:38

can be practiced, right? So if you want to be vulnerable, share it. You have to try. It's pretty much like saying what you think without having replayed it and massaged it and changed it whatever you're feeling in the moment, just let it out. And that's vulnerable, just just raw. What I would say to someone who wants to practice it is, yes, you have to do it, but I would say start with areas where you feel safer. So if you have a friend, if you have a family member, if you have a colleague, even if you have a stranger, that you feel safe within your soul, try being vulnerable and sharing something that you wouldn't normally share. And I think that starts straight a ripple effect of vulnerability, because when you do that with somebody, chances are they will now share something with you.

Jenn St John  21:19

I agree with you habit or a muscle, you can start to just practice it, and then

Tychon  21:23

it deepens relationships. It happens even in the smallest moments. You could bump into someone in an elevator and be like, I love your shirt. Where did you get there? I always wanted something like that. That is an example, because now they're going to be like, Oh, thank you. That's really nice. What's your name? Now you've met somebody who created a connection, all by vulnerability. And some people might not see that as vulnerability, but it could be, because you saying that and not knowing the reaction you're gonna get,

Jenn St John  21:47

you're opening yourself up, right?

Tychon  21:49

That's the act of vulnerability. You're doing something without knowing what the result will be. I think it's like there are small ways to do this and there are bigger ways to do it, but I was just say,

Jenn St John  21:59

start small. Yeah, I agree. I think that's great advice. So just going back to this silence that we were talking about, that obviously is not just for men, but for you personally, when you're talking about when you're in your 20s and you're feeling this, and you're doing the work and you have the awareness, do you remember the first time that you've said something out loud that you've been carrying for a lot of years, or where did that shift come for you, where you're aware and now you're starting to move into a different place with everything.

Tychon  22:25

I would say that like it more so came more recently, in the last four or five years. I want to say my 20 like it was very much like, you don't know what you don't know era. So I felt off. I was in this cycle. I couldn't explain what it was. So even to tell somebody I felt off, didn't feel like it made sense to me, because I didn't know what I didn't know what I was feeling. So I'm like, I feel off. I go to therapy. I don't know who else is going to understand. And again, that's a big thing with men. When it comes to vulnerability, if you feel like people wouldn't understand, when you feel alone in it, it's rare that you're going to share it. And at that time, because I didn't have all the reading and the understanding that I do now, I didn't really share but as I read more, I listened more, I started to realize, Oh my gosh. First of all, like, I read a book, The secret to not giving a fuck. And, like, one thing the guy says in the book, he's like, You are not special. Everything you're going through someone else has gone through. And some people don't like that tone. I love tone because it's just very matter of fact. He's like, he's right, he's right. And no matter what the thing is, it can be like you've been held up at gunpoint, you've been abused sexually, you've been and it's hard to hear, but there's so much truth in that everything that you've gone through or you're going through someone else has gone through before. So you have to now ask yourself, Where are those people? Yeah, and when I started asking myself, where are those people and connecting with those people that allowed me to start doing the work and being more vulnerable and talking about it, because now I started flexing the muscle around that safe space. I talked about of people who would have more understanding,

Jenn St John  23:52

yeah, and I feel like, like, going back to that journal entry that I started with, I think that's also when you not to say that you were in this. But a lot of people do get stuck in that victim mode. As you say, we aren't alone. There are other people who have gone through this before. We're not special. We're not the only ones who have had whatever that is in our lives. And so I think that's a really big piece to each person's individual journey of when they can move beyond that. And as you say, for you, it was reaching out to other people who were feeling that way, or a similar situation that you were in, and all of a sudden, as a collective, you start to listen, you start to be aware, and it's almost like it becomes bigger than yourself, you know, you kind of get out of your own way. I say a lot because, you know, you just you're able to maybe see it a different way, honestly,

Tychon  24:38

love from that story, even the word you when you said victim. And that shift, I think, is one of the most powerful ones, where I'm at right now with performance coaching, that's where it got me is like shifting. Because there was a time I would talk to people and we would talk about mental health as it was something that was happening to us, rather than for us, when we really shift that perspective. Of I think there's a lot of magic that happens. So like, you really hit the nail on the head with

Jenn St John  25:03

that one. I think it is the shift. In my opinion,

Tychon  25:07

I agree. Oh, you know, I was talking absolutes, yes, the ship, it's 100%

Jenn St John  25:12

Yeah, I think it's a line in the sand. You're either on this side of it or that side of it. You can't do the work that's on this side if you're still over here. I just want to pause here for a sec, because growth doesn't happen on a schedule. For some people, awareness comes slowly. For others, it arrives all at once. None of it is linear, and the readiness looks different for everybody.

Tychon  25:39

We did a live show in June where we talked about, is depression a choice? And it was,

Jenn St John  25:43

No, I listened to it. It was great. I did, wow, wow. I loved that you guys picked

Tychon  25:50

that topic. You know what? I remember hearing it somewhere, and I put it as a story on my social media, and the amount of people going back and yes, it is, no, it's not. But it was just like, oh, we have to talk about this, because we don't seem to be on the same page about this.

Jenn St John  26:05

I totally agree with, like, obviously, there's lots to take away. But I also have a son who is, like, full on massive, high achieving ASD depression and anxiety, and we've been going through this for almost 10 years, and I think that it's when you're in it? I think it's a really important question, because I do think that clinically, obviously, there are chemicals that change in our brain, but even when it's like that, like my mom was eventually, in her 50s, diagnosed with bipolar, that's chemical. There's nothing she could do about that unless she got help. But she had to get to the point where she wanted to get help. And same with you know what you guys were talking about? You there's so many things in mental health we could talk about, you guys were talking about depression. And, I mean, that's obviously what my son is dealing with right now. And it's the same thing. I fully agree with you in that there's got to be a level of awareness enough that you feel it, you see it. You hear loved ones, feel and see it that you do something. You know, make the call to your doctor, you you know, read the book, you whatever it is that you're doing, you do have to be the one who does the work. You're the only one who can.

Tychon  27:15

This is what I'm saying. And it looks different for everyone, but the common thing is it starts with you. It has to. There's just no other way anything can happen, right? If you don't take ownership. I had a coach who'd always say to me, he goes your situation is not your fault, but it's your responsibility. Oh, my

Jenn St John  27:32

God, that's another thing. It's your responsibility.

Tychon  27:35

Like it's not your fault, like you could be you could be in a wheelchair, you could be sick, you could have these predispositions to certain conditions. Yeah, it's not your fault, but it's your responsibility. Because who else is the responsibility would it be?

Jenn St John  27:47

Yeah, I had the childhood that I had that so many people have had. I mean, I hear from lots of people when I talk about what I went through with my mom and having a parent who is dealing with addictions and mental health, but now as an adult, you either have to deal with it and choose to not be a victim of it and move through life in a different, better way or not. And it is, it's up to you, absolutely. So yeah, I'm all of these things. I firmly, firmly believe. Do you feel like now, based on where you're at looking back to that child that you were, do you feel like there's significant shifts happening? Do you feel like there's a sense of societal growth?

Tychon  28:28

Yes, looking back at that child, it's interesting. There's like a perspective shift that has happened, which to me, represents a significant level of growth. And it's actually the act of forgiving that child, that child felt a lot of pain, felt a lot of hurt, struggle with identity, self worth, self esteem, most getting emotional talking about this like our whole life journey is getting back to that person like who we are.

Jenn St John  28:57

Sean, I'm sorry I thought

Tychon  29:00

it out, because then I started forgiving him, like I actually thought about him and like all the pain he felt, and it just didn't seem fair, you know, but yeah, the growth is really forgiving that child. I wish I was closer. I could give you a hug. You too. I believe, like in life, we have this identity, our own unique identity. And as time goes on, through our childhood, through our teenage years, we're told what we should be, what we should like, how we should address all these people who are carrying their own things and putting them on you. As you get older, you start to realize that you're trying to get back to that. And that's why we see like as people get older, they start getting they start having less friends. They start seeing more what's on their mind. They get bored. Get bolder. They start to be a little bit snappy and a little bit less patient, a little bit because they're really just trying to get back to the person they really are at their core. But this whole journey of life has told you that you're not good enough as how you are. There's a whole bunch of reasons why that happens, and that's a whole other podcast, but. But it's really forgiving that child, to me, is where I see that significant growth, because it's the way we talk to ourselves. When you just take an inventory of like, what you say to yourself, just to ask yourself, I talked to that child that way, when I talk to my own child that way, I talk to a friend, when I talk to a family member, the way I love that child, the way I love myself, because that child was me. When I tell that child he's stupid if I didn't get the job, or I didn't get the brand deal, or, you know, I lost a lot of money, when I look at the child and be like idiot, I'll probably say, Okay, we're gonna figure it out. Tried your best, or maybe you didn't try your best, you could do better. When you forgive that child, you talk to yourself different, you think about yourself differently. And I think that level of growth, that experience from working on healing, that has been exponential.

Jenn St John  30:45

Do you use this in your practice a lot? Like, do you see really big changes happen for clients in

Tychon  30:50

this way? I haven't used that in my practice yet in terms of working one on one with clients. Yeah, I just believe, like, again, like, when I talk about meeting people where they're at inner child. Can sound weird to some people. We have to.

Jenn St John  31:06

But go for some of these guys, Baby steps, baby steps.

Tychon  31:09

How's your inner child? They would look at me like, I'm sick, right? It's like, well, how's the gym? Brother? Like, you know, what are you like? Oh, you're stressful. You're stressed. Of all your girlfriends dressing, you'll tell me what will happen. I gotta start there. And you gotta like, you know what I mean? You start to ask people questions, and now you start to investigate their beliefs and the stories they tell themselves. As we tell ourselves more stories we can get there, we start uncovering and unpacking the trauma and the stories we tell ourselves. We get there, but we got to start with the we gotta start with, I get it. I get it. I gotta start with the shallows.

Jenn St John  31:44

I just it sounds you have a lot to offer. So I'm assuming that you

Tychon  31:49

get there, getting there. It just really depends. And as one skill, again, I really have mastered pretty well, I think, is understanding who I'm speaking to, and understanding which language to use with the people I'm speaking to. Some people I'm like, I already know from the first five things you said to me, we're not talking about this. We're just gonna be like all the J's, oh, they're in the playoffs, or keep it there. I just, I just know it's gonna overwhelm you. Gotta just, I know, yeah. Gotta meet everybody where they're at, right? No judgment either. That's just where you are. No, yeah, yep.

Jenn St John  32:19

So what practices or rituals help you to stay aligned with peace?

Tychon  32:24

There's quite a few. One that really stands out to me, like yin yoga. Surprising. I go to Yin every Friday morning with this instructor, Danielle, she's amazing, by the way, and my gym unity fitness. And what's interesting about Yin is like it's so grounding for me, but for a different reason, because I talk a lot about mobility now and how I'm in my 30s and I can't move the same and it's like I got to really work on my mobility in order to be athletic and flexible and mobile. But going to Yin every Friday, I went for that, but I found it was actually way more beneficial in grounding me. And the instructor was asking me why. The other day, I was telling her, I'm like, You know what it feels like sometimes in life, we're in a snow globe, and the snow globe is being stripped. And when we get into Yin, it's like everything just settles. And that's when I start asking myself, What do I want? Do I feel? What's important for me? What are we to like, go up and these questions just kind of like just going in my head. There's no focus on breathing. But then you go there, and then you remember that, okay, I'm breathing, but I find that like Yin is super grounded for me. But in addition to that, like I always looked at mental health as like a having a toolkit. So it's like, which tool is working for you in what season, like Yin has been amazing for me, Animal Flow, just generally working out, reading and podcast essential I always describe like our mental health. I I'm actually posting this video coming out soon, like, if we think about like a diet, right? A diet, right? If you eat junk food, you're gonna look a certain way. Your skin's gonna look a certain way. You're probably gonna be overweight. Like, that's, that's what's gonna happen if you eat all junk you're gonna, you're gonna look like junk, right? And I think we sometimes forget this same principle as it relates to our mental health. If we read things that remind us of our strength, this is the podcast. We work out we're around certain types of people. We're going to be in this level of positivity, almost I want to call it positive. We talk about balance scale, let's say positive. But then when you're watching negative shows, you're around people who are mean, you're on social media all day, looking at negative content that doesn't remind you you're going to be out of balance. So the problem is, a lot of times we focus more on the things that are the junk, and it brings out a balance. And now that I'm more aware of this, I try to be positive most of the time. And I realized that even, like, the last couple of weeks, I've been super intentional about that, and I see, like, a significant difference, like, I read every morning, I journal every morning. This is a podcast for two hours about mindset. I also quick plug working on a wellness meditation app which delivers meditations in your own voice called self vision. Oh, very interesting. Another thing that's on the diet where it's like I'm hearing myself say to me, to Sean, you are great. Remember all your greatness. Remember what you still have yet to do. To just be present in this moment. It just gives me these different affirmations, and it's like and they change every day. So that's another project we've been working on. These are all the things that ground me. And as you say,

Jenn St John  35:10

just part of the toolbox, toolbox. You can't do them all every day, but as long as we have a toolbox and we know when we can pull on or draw from and hopefully, as you say, you've got some practices that are always there, that are positive. I'm on a very small scale. I've been publicly talking about mental health for 10 years, but not on the level obviously that you are, and I always find it sometimes it can be tricky being this open and honest and talking about mental health, especially because not everybody even wants to talk about mental health in a very public way. How do you manage that, and what helps you to manage that?

Tychon  35:46

So when I talk about mental health, I'm really moving from a space of being an influencer to a wellness entrepreneur, which influencing is a part of the business, but I'm not an influencer. So when I'm looking at it right, there's a couple of things here, like you obviously want to be authentic and genuine, you sometimes wonder like, okay, what are the limitations of this? And is this bad for business? I don't believe anything I share is bad for business, but the things I do share are very honest, open and vulnerable. But now that I've been studying marketing and all these things, when I realized about even my business and my practice and what I'm doing, I'm speaking to an audience that is the past versions of me up to my current version. When you think of your customer avatar, your customer avatar, these different versions of you up until now. So if I think of 20 year old to Sean, can I say things like trauma to that version of to Sean? Can I talk about the inner child to that version that guy's not hearing inner child. What language can I speak to that guy in? And this is, like, actually a very recent revelation of mine, where I'm like, oh yeah. Like, I'm saying a lot of things that, like, not everybody really understands. Like, would a fifth grader understand this? When you develop content and textbooks and readings, people at that level got to be able to understand it. And that's one thing that and that's one thing that I've now adopted and shifted. So when you ask, like, is it difficult to speak? No, it just kind of depends who I'm speaking to in that moment. So I'm speaking to more of this version to Sean. Yes, I can be vulnerable at that level for that person's level of perception. But if I'm speaking to the younger, to Sean at 20, I actually try to use comedy a lot as skits, to speak to like them, to speak to the messaging. Because it's like, when you look at it as funny, and I always believe when we come to a place where we can laugh about something, we're in a decent place with it, because now we're laughing about it. That's me. It's like, even like, morning routine. I remember made a skit about morning routine where you could just everybody you're running through around your house, you're throwing on the coffee throne and you're stressed, and it's like the difference of like, getting up and breathing, and it's like, it's that juxta doing yin yoga. And that juxtaposition is hilarious to people, but it just kind of shows you this is the difference between living a life where you're focused on your mindfulness and your mental health and your mindset, versus someone who's not. And when you start having these juxtapositions, they're funny and they're educational, and like to me, edutainous is the goal, yeah,

Jenn St John  38:11

and humor always works. Always. Anything through humor, right? Always works. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so I'm going to be mindful of our time. So just to wrap things up here, when you imagine a world where young boys and young girls grow up emotionally literate, what do you see? What does that look like?

Tychon  38:30

There's just like a world with a lot more empathy, a world with a lot more love, lot more understanding, a lot more caring kindness, it just looks like the world that I've always envisioned where, you know, you say somebody, Hey, good morning. How are you nice to see like that type of world? I believe that we've gotten away from that for all kinds of reasons. I envision a world where it's like we're just humans again, we're human beings and we're not human doings essentially just enjoying being here. Existing feels painful. I do this like I do that again. When we live in a world where emotionally intelligent, it's not like that. It's a world where we enjoy seeing people, we enjoy waking up every day, there's a lot more joy in life.

Jenn St John  39:09

Yeah? Sense of community,

Tychon  39:11

absolutely right. Yeah, that, to me, is what it looks like. It looks like what some would call a utopia, but I don't believe it's far fetched. I just believe that that's what we all have to we have to get on the same page and want that right. Have to aspire to. We just have to aspire to. And then when there's more of us aspiring to it, it'll have its ripple effects. And sometimes it gets discouraging doing this work, because sometimes you're like, No one's not listening. We just do you talking about, you guys care about a shallow nonsense. And we can get in your head. We start focusing on we're here to give and taking the information we receive back as information and not personal. It just helps us keep going forward with it.

Jenn St John  39:46

Well, that's pretty amazing. Thank you so much for talking to us today. I really, really appreciate you taking the time to do this, and I look forward to seeing everything come together at another new level for you and. App and everything that you're doing. So that was a really rich conversation. There's there's a lot to sit with here. This was definitely a conversation about embodiment in the truest sense. It was about learning to listen to the body, about trusting the quiet signals that we often are taught to ignore, and about what it means to really return to ourselves after years of performing or striving or surviving. To Sean shares so openly about his experience of growing up feeling misunderstood, about the loss of identity that can come when a chapter ends and about the long, often subtle process of rebuilding self trust. What stood out to me is how much healing happens, not through force or answers, but through awareness, through slowing down and paying attention and meeting ourselves with compassion instead of judgment. If there's one thing that I hope you take with you from this conversation, it's this embodiment isn't about doing more or getting it right. It's about noticing. It's about listening. It's about allowing ourselves to be where we are and trusting that our body holds wisdom, even when the path forward isn't clear yet. You don't have to rush to integrate everything that you heard today. Sometimes the most meaningful, subtle shift happens quietly over time before we go. If this conversation resonated with you, I'd love to hear from you. You can connect with me through the show notes on social media or at my website. Jenn, st john.ca, and that's J E N, N, st, J O, H N. Supporting the podcast by subscribing, sharing an episode or leading a review is obviously one of the best ways that you can help to get these conversations to reach more people. Now if something difficult came up while listening, please remember you don't have to sit with it alone. In Canada, you can call or text 988 anytime for free confidential mental health support. You can also reach out locally to the CMHA Simcoe County crisis lines. And here it is, 1-888-893-8333, or you can also text 686868, to connect to a trained volunteer through the Crisis Text Line in the US, the 988, suicide and crisis Lifeline is available 24/7, by call or text for anyone who's in emotional distress, not just in crisis. And for our listeners in Australia, you can call Lifeline at 13, 1114, day or night for free and confidential crisis support. Thank you for listening, for holding space for stories like this, and for being a part of this community, we'll be back next week with another conversation, and until then, take good care of yourself and each other and keep finding your way forward you.