0:05

Welcome to the Christian Leadership and Resilience Podcast, where faith meets leadership and resilience is more than just a mindset. It's a calling. I'm Romeo Char. And I'm Christina Gebe. And we are here to guide you through real conversations that equip you to lead fearlessly, serve humbly and rise strongly, no matter the challenges ahead. Every episode we dive into stories, principles, and practical tools rooted in scripture and lived experience to help you grow as a Christian leader.

Romeo El Chaer: 0:45

Let's start by reading from the Hebrews 11 one. Now faith is confidence in what we hope for assurance about what we do not see. You know the scripture. The scripture is so important about revealing to us as human beings and as Christians, and even as faith-based people, things are beyond our personal and capabilities during our lives. We went through a lot of hardships and challenges, and each time. If you reflect on it, you go back to the basics of what we believe in and we say, God, what do you want from me? How you can help me with this? What shall I do? we go back to God, which is based on the faith that it is anchored within us so we can communicate with God, we can overcome that hardship that we know that he can turn into good. And he has. A purpose for it through us and for us, and for, it's for our own good. So when, when a hardship occurs, need to have the faith that hope within that things gonna turn to be good in the future. And that whatever we go in the moment that the hardship is, is happening and we are going through it, that somewhere it's gonna end. Or we are gonna be able to overcome it so we can be able to move on in our lives. We will not forget it, but we are gonna embrace it. We are gonna accept it. We are gonna like meditate and reflect on it and use it as a step on a staircase during our journey to grow and to be a better person in the future. So that's where is a part of resilience and that's how, how it grows within us so we can become a better version of ourselves. That's how we upgrade. And today I, Christine, you're gonna be hero of the show and with that that, you know, you went. Through a really, really, really heavy hardship in your life that put you on the track where you are today, that person that dedicated her life, I. To understand resiliency and to promote and to even preach about resiliency so you can help people overcome their hardships so they can, they can have hope in their future and that whatever happens there is always a bright side. if it is, if this hardship is a loss still, it'll help us to grow and be. A better version of ourselves so we can help others, like colleagues, team members, and the most important part, families and our kids to be a better versions also of themselves. Today, I want to welcome you, as know, as an interview style, so you can share with with our audience how. You become so fan and passionate about resiliency, what kind of, what is that hardship you went through that made you who you are today?

Christine E. Agaibi - Caresilience: 4:44

So my story goes back several decades when I was only 13 years old. My family and I went on our typical. Summer vacation that we always did with my dad's siblings. And in this particular year we went to a very beautiful, um, magical place called Hawaii. Very beautiful scenery, very serene, very, um, just gorgeous nature. Spending lots of times with my cousins. I was young again. I was 13. My cousins were, uh, a few years younger than me and with my aunts and uncles and my parents. Such a beautiful setting, and we often did our summer vacations that way. So that's how I grew up. Beautiful memories in that way. This vacation took a very difficult turn on the very last day. At the end of the very last day, actually in the evening, we had, um. Going into our rooms to retire and sleep for the night because then the next morning we were flying out of Hawaii and we were gonna spend the time at another island and then end up in Los Angeles where my uncle was from. And while spending that evening, um. The last thing I remember is my dad praying his evening prayers with me. Um, we said our evening prayers, we all went to our separate places to sleep. And then just a few minutes later, my mom came out of their room and said he wasn't feeling well and. All of it happened so quickly after that, he ended up passing away suddenly from natural causes, completely unexpectedly. And um, ended up passing away that evening. Obviously this was a very surprising and difficult experience, um, having to plan a funeral while we're on vacation, having to move him out of Hawaii to Los Angeles'cause that was the first mainland. Um, an easiest place to, to kind of have his funeral in Los Angeles, where my uncle's from. And so it just very surprising events that should not be occurring, obviously on a family vacation. Uh, and especially as a young girl, it was very confusing and, um, sad. Very, very sad. And then what was even more difficult after that? My mom and I, and, and dad had been living in Indianapolis where he was working. Um, he was a defense department, certified public accountant. So he had a very, um, wonderful job, very ambitious job, uh, and instilled great values in me in that regard. But we had to go back to Indianapolis and pack up all of our things and move to Cleveland, Ohio where I spent the rest of my adolescence and, um. Even adulthood. And my mom thought that that was the best decision. And indeed it was because we had family in Cleveland, Ohio and there was no family in Indianapolis. And so very quickly after losing my dad, having a funeral and then having to move and start eighth grade in a different place, just my entire world kind of security and stability and all of that stuff just literally disappeared overnight. And, um, when you talk about fear, I don't think you realize that you're afraid, but everything is just completely upside down. Like being caught in a wave, you don't know what's up, what's down. I had to start over with new friends, a new school, new church, new environment, all the places I love to go. Were gone. Had to start over. And, um, if you wanna talk about fear and about uncertainty and about everything being insecure. There is probably no other time to have a situation than, than that where things are very uncertain. However, I continued to just take it day at a time. Again, we had family near us in Ohio and we had a church very close by, so I was able to kind of go to church and. Rely on again, the things not seen, which is our faith. And in those moments, truly the verse about my grace is sufficient for you. My power is made perfect in weakness really comes to light. And oftentimes we can apply that later on. Now, looking back several decades later to this event and other times of uncertainty, and I've had many others, of course since then, that's life. You rely again and look back at that and say. Wow. I was young. I had no tools and somehow I still got through that and, um, it took time. It took much time, but I got through it because of faith and family. So one of the most difficult experiences, of course, but faith and family and perseverance and persistence is what helps you to get through something that massive when you're just a child.

Romeo El Chaer: 9:34

First of all, I want to really thank you for your courage about telling the story that it's like a that. Incident that pierced your heart and it needs a lot to heal. First, I want to send blessings to your father's soul and

Christine E. Agaibi - Caresilience: 9:54

Thank you.

Romeo El Chaer: 9:55

heads down for you and for your mom about that battle that it was imposed on both of you from nowhere that you had to go through. Both of you, you know, you as a child, you just had a heavy burden losing the. That, that precious moment that any, any girl, any daughter would, would love to have. And at the same time, just heads down to your mother that she had to do, take all the responsibility to, not only take care of her child, but also to bury her loved one and. to handle everything than to uh, as we were, had we talked you know offline that how she had to go and take all his files, whatever, you know, his personal things from his office and, you know, do that thing. So. I cannot imagine the pain. She went through every single paper that, and picture and that reminder about this. So hat's done for your mom. also had a very powerful tragedy that her heart, but that what also amazed me, she was able to think. To overcome with all the pain, to do what she had to do. She was an amazing leader for you as a role model at that moment that she went through everything. So she makes sure that her child gonna have a from one situation. To totally different new one. So she can protect you and support you with a life that you are surrounded by. A gap that was created through life that

Christine E. Agaibi - Caresilience: 11:58

Mm-hmm.

Romeo El Chaer: 11:58

was, even, even your dad. Nobody had any issues or symptoms just happened.

Christine E. Agaibi - Caresilience: 12:04

Mm-hmm.

Romeo El Chaer: 12:05

And for you, that's for you, for a child that went through this. It's a very powerful. And it's just engraved something in you, but also look how it turned things after years you are now be, became like a pillar that speak and preach about resiliency. And how you can embrace your pain, embrace your scar, embrace your hardship so you can move on in your life because first anchored on your faith, Christian faith, and you mentioned that the last thing that you did with your dad having his night prayer, that's a blessing. That's a blessing because you know that everything just ended in the right way somehow.

Christine E. Agaibi - Caresilience: 12:59

Mm-hmm.

Romeo El Chaer: 12:59

And you shared that precious moment with your dad and Abba the father at the same

Christine E. Agaibi - Caresilience: 13:05

Mm-hmm.

Romeo El Chaer: 13:06

so it's like you, you, you just had this time travel that will always be alive within you because God is always alive that's also the soul of your dad. So that's amazing. And I really. Value you because of what, how you turn that hardship and pain into something that is changing lives. You are counseling people to just overcome and to grow their, their faith resiliency and to accepting all the hardship they went through. So I need to give you this honor and gave you this because I couldn't just, you know, move on. It's not a topic or a story, it's your life. Hardship and, um, this needs to be honored as well. What

Christine E. Agaibi - Caresilience: 13:57

Thank.

Romeo El Chaer: 13:57

know, and, you know, what was your, I wanna go a little bit with some details for you that you can explain to, our audience that I'm sure they wanna know. Like when you had this transition from, from, because everything happened so fast. So first there was the funeral, then there was the transition from Indiana Palace. To Ohio, and that's something is not a joke. You know? I know I moved from Maine Houston without any tragedy and it was, you know, it was, it was not easy for me as a father and as a husband. For you as a child, what this transition that happened there teach you and how it helped your resiliency to grow and. To be who you are today, what that pillar that was created or built within you you can share with our audience so they can benefit from the experience with, so they can see and reflect on their own hardships and how they can benefit from this.

Christine E. Agaibi - Caresilience: 15:02

Yes, it was very, very quick. So my dad passed away July 25th, and then by Midgut I had already started school in a different place. So it all happened incredibly, incredibly quick. Within two to three weeks it's hard to believe that, you know, you think you're gonna come back and go to school and see all your friends and do all the things that you would normally do. We're going, we're going on vacation, and then you're gonna come back and everything is gonna be just the way that it is. And then everything changes literally in the blink of an eye. And the person that I really. Revered and respected and still revered and respect my dad. He was the pillar because he had his own resilience stories of, you know, being an immigrant and then working his way up to become a certified public accountant for the defense department. And so I've always admired and respected him, and I think even subconsciously he instilled those spiritual values, religious values, um, but also resilience values even without me knowing. He instilled a lot and taught me a lot that I still reflect on. To this day, again, it's been decades now, and, uh, I still reflect on the lessons he's taught, the things that he said, his faith during hardship. And he, he put into me probably a lot more than anybody realized, even though I was only 13. So him instilling those values in me young. Did help with the transition, even though I'm only noticing that when I'm reflecting back on it now as a full adult, and again, as a mom when I'm instilling resilience in my own kids. But how do I, there is no, and this is what's interesting about resilience. There's not one particular thing. It's so many things that contribute to the resilience. It was family, it was my faith, it was all the lessons my dad taught me. It was believing that even when there's another hardship, I can get back up and try again to not give up. And so perseverance is important. And grit, which is passion and perseverance for the long term. And persistence and faith and reflection, all of these different things. Yeah, and many more probably that I'm not even listing are things that help you to recognize that you do have the ability to keep going. And that doesn't mean to ignore or just turn, you know, and close your eyes and pretend there's no problems, or stick your head in the sand and pretend there's no issues. It's to know there are issues and still try anyway, and still try to persevere and to embrace, like, to use your word, to embrace the difficulty and the challenge. And to try to glean some sort of meaning and wisdom out of it, and I think that's what I did. Ultimately. If I look back at my life, that's what I see.

Romeo El Chaer: 17:57

You know, it's like, it's, it's universal language. We, we, we talk, we speak the universal language. You all, the vocabulary that you used, almost the same vocabulary I use also, when I talk about resiliency and when I speak about my personal hardship and my personal scars, it's something so identical. It's like. It is like you, when you start connecting the dots and see how people are, you know, when they go through hardships and they develop kind of growth or overcoming, then they see, they, they can resonate with what you're saying because yeah, that's how it goes. And I wanna mention something very important that you, during your conversation, during when you, making your point. It's about the importance of the role model. That's what your dad, even with this short period with you, that compared to your life now, he was able to inject hope, ethics, values. That's the importance of the role model and the life of a child. will give him the anchor. He was like a faithful man. He was a righteous man. He was a real Christian man that built his family and his house on Christian values, and that's what made the house not to crumble because it was not built on him. It was built on faith that it was given by God. And that's where I can see the power of fatherhood from one side. And the power of from other side, how they both, they can build an amazing house of God raise children that they can faith things, anything in their lives be based on that growth of faith that can make things to flourish and make that house not to be built on sand, but to be built on a rock. And for that also the family support, which is really so important because it just made you able to be equipped with the tools that will help you to move on in your life. So now if you see that by sharing your story and the way. You were equipped, you just expressed them. And that's the beauty of the beauty of resiliency. How it has a shape that we don't see or recognize until we start looking at it. When you start thinking about what made me to overcome all this, and that's where you start saying the right word that we all say everywhere. All the time, but some people, they're aware about the resilience and that's what it is. And some people they say, you know, it's chance or it's X, y, Z or they don't name it something that, that can fit. But the, the moment you are like aware about resiliency, that's where everything change. Then you start have a meaning and un and a context and understanding. And that's what you just said on these in, in your words. About resiliency and how now for, for leading your life today you became a mom and you're raising two amazing kids, daughters, and now you're also teaching students. You're, you are a teacher, you're a professor, so you are giving from yourself. Not only concepts and studies or research or whatever, you are also giving a piece of view to generations to be able to, uh, to, to, to, to, to grow and to be, to lead their lives and then lead others. And that's what our counter needs now, like leaders. So with that part of you, like the leader within, how do you connect it to faith and resiliency? To be the leader today that you're leading others to be, also their own leaders.

Christine E. Agaibi - Caresilience: 22:25

Yeah, great question. I genuinely believe that anybody who has gone through a hardship needs to turn that hardship into something powerful and meaningful. And so I remember sitting in graduate school, I. Thinking about the research that I would be conducting and, uh, not knowing yet what path I was going to take and. I remember sitting in and it was a break in between classes and it, it hit me that why did I not succumb? Why did I not crumble into a million pieces? I should have crumbled. This was an impossible situation and I should have crumbled, but I didn't. And I said, it has to be this concept of resilience. So let's study it scientifically. Let's figure out what makes people resilient. And the more I dug into it, I found that there's about. It's a, it's not a new concept. It's a concept that's been around with philosophers and poets and even biblically for thousands of years, but. From my perspective, I found it scientifically studied now for about 50 years or so. So there's actual scientific research that matches kind of what the Bible says. And you know, again, what poets and philosophers have already discussed about this concept that we can overcome, tragedy, we can overcome. Challenges and we can learn something and grow from it. And, um, as long as we're flexible. And I found that to be another trait that I had. Just flexibility and just going with things and learning as I go, and then adapting and maneuvering. And that's again something else that I try to tell my, you know, students that I teach college now teach my own daughters and also teach in lectures and talks that I give, that you can be flexible. It feels impossible. It feels like the entire weight of the world is bearing down on you, like a mountain's on top of your head. But if you just take one step at a time, you, you really do grow this muscle of resilience around the problem. And it becomes no longer the problem, but your ability to be strong around it. And again, we see that biblically and um, people find their purpose through these kinds of things. So to make meaning out of difficulty is the ripple that I want to create.

Romeo El Chaer: 24:39

The ripple that you want to create. That's a ripple effect. Things that happens to us then start to creating these waves, these ripples, that it can impact not only your life, but others' lives as well. And that's the beauty of it. So the more you flourish, the more you embrace, the more you grow, the more you can make a change in the world in a positive way, because resilience like built on hope. And positivity. That's very crucial because it comes from personal self-awareness, self-confidence, that is paid on in, even sometimes on sense of humor. It comes from that because just need to boost our lives and boost others. And I always wonder, I wonder like why this happens, but it it just how our brain function in a way to overcome. It's just to replace that negative thing. And that's why you didn't collapse because you had faith, you had prayers, you had like, you know, have faith in God and God will turn your life in a positive way. That's how your life was turned and now you are using the same thing to turn others to a, to, to have a better life. And hey, don't succumb because of something happened in your life because it happened to me too. Just go and thrive because you deserve to thrive and we are meant to thrive and not to circum or, or, you know, fall under the weight of our challenges, but we can build our muscles, brain muscles at that amygdala and whatever. It's, it's there walking in our brain to be like a fortified castle can bear any kind of battles that we can. Move on and we'll in our lives and win those battles. And if you want, if you lose a battle, it's okay. It's all in the purpose of winning a war. And that's amazing. And that's what you, a great night and you're doing an amazing job there. I really. I'm blessed to, be witnessing a professor and as a mom, what she's doing in her life and others' lives so you can create this amazing leaders in the future that we count on. Professors like Hugh, Christine, because our country, the United States, needs a powerful leaders in the future so we can keep moving forward and being the most. Powerful nation in the world, we need those resilient leaders to be there out there doing their job so we can survive and keep that culture and keep that country so powerful. And so, you know able to overcome anything because you know, the future is always unknown and that's kind of uncertainty that keep people to be afraid. Confronting and the challenge come, we gonna be weakened by thoughts and by negative vibes. And we might, some people unfortunately, they lose hope. The question is how resilient they were and how, what was their role model? there a role model? That would be the first question. That role model did the job to, to build that house on rock or just build it on sand by, you know, busy just by life and how to build their career to their kids. So when they are, when the time comes, so their kids goes out there. They were collapsed because they were not prepared, that amygdala didn't have the right challenges to, of to, to grow and be able to fight back any challenges in the future that can help them to move on. And that's what your mother did. She helped you and she supported you. And that's another part, the support to able to confront the situation and to give you a life. That can give you more like a, a, a way to move on in your life. Not to, you know, maybe that was the best thing is to, to give you the support by being surrounded by family members. That's why she decided to make the move from Indiana Palace. To Ohio, so you can be surrounded by your, by family and by uncles. And that's, they cannot replace, somehow reduce actually the, the, the, the, the, the, gap that was created by life harshly and that filled your life. Somewhere so you can be able to continue. And that's also another part of the whole thing, which is the power of support. for all our audience there, I highly recommend you go and embrace your family and get in touch with them. Be close to them. If you didn't call your mothers for, for a while, go and pick up the phone and just call her and call your dad. Call your brother your siblings because they care. They love if they don't. Find someone who cares and call even though you don't find for any reason, call someone like professional. There is counselors, there is life coaches, there is a priest, pastor. Just go and get in touch so you can move on in your life to can fill that. Those questions that can just put pull you down. We are not meant to live alone. We are also meant to live in tribes. So go and seek someone that cares for you will just love you unconditionally, and may not succeed in the first person. Move on to another one. If you don't find the right priest or pastor, move to another one. you don't like this coach, life coach, go to another one. It just be open to change and to grow, but everything that you go and bring to the table. It'll help you to start seeing things because you're gonna have more to see in different perspective from where you are. So it's gonna help you in any way to be in a better position. And with that, you know, Christine, we can keep talking about this forever and. Absolutely. And we all have this fear and have this uncertainty. So by, by your own experience and by your own faith, what would be your, your advice as a professional and, and, and, and a woman of faith? What would be your advice? So we can end this episode to our audience about facing fears and. Move on in our life in a resilient

Christine E. Agaibi - Caresilience: 32:03

Sphere is definitely a normal and natural human response to uncertainty, to things not being clear. It is meant to cause us to pause and to think about things, but it shouldn't really paralyze us. And so I would encourage folks listening to. Feel the fear and kind of push through that fear anyway. And that's how we grow. We grow outside our comfort zone. We learn more about ourselves. We learn what works, what doesn't work. But if we become paralyzed with fear, we will just stand still and there won't be any growth. And again. We are not meant to do this alone. So if you are afraid, and that is normal, lean on others to support you as you push through that fear. We're not saying take giant risks where you're not very discerning. You know, don't go skydiving necessarily. But you can push past the fear a little bit, uh, with the support of others, with your pastor, priest, your, um, friends and family members, your colleagues. Again, professionals, therapists and counselors and psychologists are all there to kind of help you to push past that fear. Past our, um, our kind of limits a little bit, so that we can get outside of that comfort zone and get more into a growth mindset and learn and develop and find where our strengths are, and then use those strengths to become more resilient. We can do hard things. We can do difficult things. I am living, walking, breathing. Truth to that, that I walk through very hard times in my life. Um, but I'm here and I'm trying to help others to do the same. It is my mission for my life. Uh, and so again, I do that with everybody that I encounter. That you can do hard things and God is walking right beside us, if not carrying us through those moments.

Romeo El Chaer: 33:54

That's amazing. Thank you so much Christine. And uh, as we started by reading from the scriptures, how about you finish by a small prayer to our audience, so can move on in our lives and to another episode.

Christine E. Agaibi - Caresilience: 34:12

Yes. Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for gathering us through this technological way to learn better ways to use our strengths, our God-given strengths that you give us, to go through challenges and to know that we are not alone. In Proverbs, it says to trust you Lord, and that even if we don't have it all figured out, that we can trust on the Lord and lean not on our own understanding. And to grow through our challenges to meet our greatest potential for the glory of your name and for our glory as well. So we thank you for this wonderful blessing of this podcast that's going to teach us many skills about how to become more resilient and to face our hardships with strength, with faith, with support from others, and of course, with you above all. We thank you Lord. Amen.

Romeo El Chaer: 35:01

Amen.

Christine E. Agaibi - Caresilience: 35:03

Amen.

Speaker: 35:10

Thanks for joining us on the Christian Leadership and Resilience Podcast.

Speaker 2: 35:14

If this episode has encouraged you, share it with your friends. Leave a review and stay connected with us on social media.

Speaker: 35:21

Next time we'll dive into another topic that will boost your resilient leadership. Until then, lead fearlessly, serve humbly,

Speaker 3: 35:30

and rise strongly in faith.

Speaker: 35:32

God bless.