Almost Gamers
Join us in a casual conversation with friends about gaming. It's a humorous journey into what we are currently playing, sometimes poorly and not usually on trend. We also talk new and upcoming releases, gaming news, best of lists, and are never afraid to go off on crazy tangents.
Almost Gamers
Episode 23: Unhinged Gameplay
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Brace yourselves, this ride may go off the rails a bit. Eventually, Matt talks a little about playing some modded Fall Out New Vegas, and a little game called Brotato. Andrew finishes up Diablo 2 and a little game called Minishoot' Adventures.
Enter the Boss Battle, and enjoy a Borderlands Vault Hunter Tier ranking. Will your picks line up with the duo's? Probably definitely not. But it'll be fun, they promise.
Then it's back to God of TV: the war of casting. Some sad news, some silly news, and of course some AI news.
Listen in and see if they make it to the end of this episode, or if this was too much of a quest for them both.
Speaking of tablets in the future, you know, it we've we've talked about before, like in the future, any future TV show, like there's rarely paper. We're just like handing off tablets to each other. Which I said, well, we're kind of at that point where like tablets are almost disposable with these like cheap ass little. But do you remember in Battlestar Galactica? No, the big like future improvement was the paper where the corners were cut off. Remember all the paper had like the they were like octagon. Okay, yeah. If you remember that, no. But we don't have flying cars, we don't have fucking paper, we still have square corners.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, look at that.
SPEAKER_03Like the future is just it's it's you know, no jet packs, no lightsabers, rectangular paper. That's disappointing. I know. I mean, we might as well just go back to Stone Ages, man, start to fuck all back over. Yeah. Humanity's fucked. That's right. Because of the
Intro
SPEAKER_03paper. Hey, hey, hey! Welcome, dude. What's up? Wow. You're always surprised at all of my intros. You're like, oh my god.
SPEAKER_01I felt like I talked to a cool guy for a second. Don't worry. You did not. He's got the hat, he's got the vibe. All right, this this wait. Let's talk like the youngins. The riz. Oh, I is that appropriate?
SPEAKER_03I don't know. I I'm I I don't hang out with the young'ins. I don't have a a child. So I'm not I'm not down with the uh No Riz. No Riz. No, sorry. So this this is two two. Two two. This is season two, episode two of season two. But we're going with a straight naming scheme. In case people were confused, we're going straight numbers. Uh, because it's apparent how podcasts do it. So this is episode 23. 23.
SPEAKER_01Nice. All right. So uh I like it. Yeah, here we are. Are we being are we successful? You tell us. I don't know.
SPEAKER_03I mean, this is Michael Jordan, right? Yeah. Uh yeah. So I mean, we got the Jordan. We're in we're gonna win. That's how it works. I don't know what we're winning, folks, but we're gonna win it.
SPEAKER_01Well, if you eat a handful of the hot tamales, you win. Oh. It's little known fact. Really? Hot tamales.
SPEAKER_03One one handful. Just a handful. Exact amount of one handful.
SPEAKER_01No more. Okay. And you win. Steve will know. Okay. Not you figure out which theme. Yeah, I'll leave that up to the audience.
SPEAKER_03It's pretty obvious if you if you know the Steves. Okay. So hello, podcast. How you and how you ins how youans doing? This feels like it's been one giant cold opening. All right. We're doing a podcast? Uh yeah. I mean, might as well. We got the mic set up. So let's do something with them.
SPEAKER_01Sorry. Let's let's um get it back on track here.
SPEAKER_03I don't know. Uh I I can't yeah. So since the the last we podcasted, um, I have released the the super secret um Fallout New Vegas episode. Or uh little, I don't know what to call that, like a video.
SPEAKER_01The video about the now, can you remember the the the the hinted version of that you said?
SPEAKER_03Oh, it was like Maul Fault Crew Negus or something stupid like that. So if you didn't figure that out if you hadn't figured it out, folks, it was a video about Fallout New Vegas and modding it for 2026. Yeah. I use the new New Vegas uh calling that a mod. It's more of like a mod of mods. Okay. It's it's an it's it's uh collection, a mod collection, is what it is. So uh yeah, um go ahead and check that out. Well, and then at some point on this podcast or regular series, I'm gonna talk about my experience playing Fallout. Okay. But I want to get through a little more. Also, uh I I I don't know if did we mention well, we we released our first couchable. Yes, which is me and Andy on the couch playing co-op.
SPEAKER_01Co-op.
SPEAKER_03And uh so far that has tearing up uh YouTube. There's been so many views that I think they had to open up another server. I'm pretty sure that's uh uh yeah. Uh Google contacted us.
SPEAKER_01I guarantee you it it's worth watching.
SPEAKER_03Yep, yeah. There's like an AI farm um not using nearly as much electricity as the uh server farm streaming our first episode of us playing Ab Absalom. Absolum Absolum. Absolum. Whatever. We're having fun with that game. We play the game. We're still playing it.
SPEAKER_01Currently playing it. And I do, I do like it. Okay.
SPEAKER_03So check that out. Check out, check out all of our videos on YouTube and obviously all of our episodes on Buzz Sprouts, Buzz Sprout, uh, iTunes, um Napster. Napster. I don't know, maybe.
SPEAKER_01We got Lars Urla coming in. Yeah, whatever.
SPEAKER_03We're we're all over the place, folks. So uh thank you again for checking us out and sticking with us and listening to our shenaniganies. Okay. We're still in the intro. We are still in the intros.
SPEAKER_01And I just want to bring this little surprise.
SPEAKER_03That's right. I've heard there's another surprise.
SPEAKER_01Little surprise.
SPEAKER_03A little something. I'm so excited, folks.
SPEAKER_01Can you see our little buddy? Oh, it looks like it looks like a little giant.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I'm donating this to the heen.
SPEAKER_01We'll make some room. I think we can move the room. You wanted more in the backdrop.
SPEAKER_03Oh, yes. Oh, and has the word wall. That's right. Now, this was your pre-order bonus, correct?
SPEAKER_01I got the ultimate, whatever.
SPEAKER_03I remember you were so into this pre-ordering it, and I'm like, maybe I'll play it.
SPEAKER_01And uh I'm a fanboy, and I I ordered it right away, but there's a little bonus. A bonus bonus. A little bonus on top of the bonus, everybody. I made this with a craft hour with my daughter. Nice for the holiday that happened. It's a little late, but yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Uh happy St. Patrick's Day, everybody.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03What's good? I I I do see his breasts, so he earned the beads.
SPEAKER_01Good old dragon titties. Woo!
SPEAKER_03Oh, thank you, Andrew.
SPEAKER_01That looks uh permanent donation. That looks it'll always be here. Believe it or not, my uh wife she does a lot of um online virtual stuff, and Aldwin's been in every shot. Oh, really? And I don't think any of her clients know. Oh, that you'll be joining those? Like uh therapy sessions. Yes. And I said, dude, do you think you're do you think your um clients will be disappointed in the Aldwin?
SPEAKER_03Oh, for some reason they're just gonna get the same results.
SPEAKER_01And she said, I didn't think so. So I said, I think it'll be more appropriate for our yeah, that'll be lovely.
SPEAKER_02So it's an house a permanent part of my life. But I mean I mean so yeah. All right, so there's our buddy.
SPEAKER_01We'll do dragon shells later.
What Yinz Playin
SPEAKER_03And um, so let's let's just do that. It's simple. I I have to admit, um some life changes coming up had happened. So you guys so little he had to get a real job. That's right. So I think it's actually been like three and a half weeks since we've met.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And three of those weeks I played one game. I figured. But that half a week, I played a ton of games. Really? But nothing new.
SPEAKER_01But can you share more knowledge of the games? Not really.
SPEAKER_03So the one was Fallout. I played a lot of Fallout. Okay, you know New Vegas. Sticking with it. Sticking with it. Um, I don't want to report much other than I'm having a great time. I'm very glad I went back to it. You should get back to it too. Uh, maybe check out our video about modding it if you want to bring it up to uh today's standards. And then I also did uh some Hades runs, which I filmed and may or may not release. I gotta watch them first because I know they were after I played Fallout. So as in, you know, several drinks in um I think I did pretty good. I think I how many nights are you at now? Oh, it's gotta be like 50. That's it. Oh, maybe maybe that is wrong. Might be like 90. I don't know. I'll check. It feels like it's not even that many, but I have a feeling it's been a lot more. Okay. Yeah.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_03Still killing it. I I'm yeah, I'm still going, still going. Oh, yes, I will definitely post the one. I will that's right, because it's just coming back to me, and I talk about you, and yes, yes. All right, yeah. I'm gonna post it. I'm I'm this is a promise here. I'm at least posting one of them. Okay, all right. Everybody, look forward to it. You can see live what I've been playing. Uh you gotta subscribe to our YouTube channel to check it out. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I guess I I could technically release it as a uh audio only version, but that would be very weird. It's a lot of like, well, here, I can I can describe about half of it. Uh you'll just hear fuck!
unknownNo!
SPEAKER_03God damn it!
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you know, sounds like everybody's dad trying to work on it.
SPEAKER_03There you go. Look forward to that. Oh, no. I seem to have gotten hit.
SPEAKER_01Wow. We've crossed new territory now. I think it's gonna be a good episode.
SPEAKER_03I'm already feeling great about today's episode, folks.
SPEAKER_01He has a job, everybody. Woo! He's fired up.
SPEAKER_03Yes.
SPEAKER_01All right, all right. Andrew, what have you been playing? Okay, um, well, I actually um I guess kind of embarrassingly played quite a bit of games over the last couple weeks. Way too much gaming. Not enough.
SPEAKER_03Not a thing.
SPEAKER_01Not a thing, not enough real life shit. Um, but I uh last time we talked, I played Diablo 2 Resurrected. Right, right. Beat that. Wow. Wow. What I will say is it was fun. It kind of itched, you know, kind of scratched that itch of looter shooter or looter and kind of stuff. I I I I'm not a hundred percent sure I get that love of it being the only Diablo game worth playing. Like it was kind of that rumbling.
SPEAKER_00Oh, right.
SPEAKER_01Some people were like, that's the only game, that's the best. I never two was always just eh for me. Yeah. Uh like I told you in the yeah, play the old podcast if you if you want to know more. I it just the the loot wasn't exciting enough. Combat was you know great, and uh I guarantee you at the time it was amazing. I'm talking now from today's standards. I don't know. I was I was happy. I didn't hate it, I just not sure why people hold on to it as the holy grail of action or as far as Diablos.
SPEAKER_03Right. I wonder if it always comes down to if that was your first Diablo. Yeah, maybe. You know, there's a there's a whole the whole there's that certain population where that was their first Diablo, so always love it. Yeah, us, it was Diablo one, which yeah, Diablo won't be. You you can't go back to though. No, yeah, no, no, you can, but we we would yeah, we measure everything up to it.
SPEAKER_01It was an experience, it was a time and a place, and then so I beat it, and I told you the loot wasn't amazing, like it was fine. I kind of felt like I was playing the loot system wrong at the end, but either way, I beat it and I was like, well, let's see, like, is there an end game? But there isn't like all that talk of endgame in that game. I guess you just replay the game. That's the end game. Oh, yeah, but they didn't want to have end game stuff. I didn't know if that was like what people loved, and I guess I could have replayed. I was like, I'm done. I I I I kind of sped through it a little bit to be honest, because I was like, I just want to know like what the yeah, is there gonna be like a better situation where I can get more loot or more fun stuff?
SPEAKER_03I'm sure you're the same. Like I could count on one hand how many games I've played New Game Plus on. Yeah, so I just doesn't appeal to me. I was done.
SPEAKER_01So then I was like, well, I did all that. Let's go to Diablo 4. Just because I was like, come back in? Yeah, I just I was like, I'm gonna dive back in. Is the expansion out yet or no? No, okay, and that's gonna be I I I screwed all that up timing, but I do think that could be a nice couchable. We talked about maybe that a couchable so can we do that couchable or do we have on consoles only? Yeah, like they do have co-op on okay, that could be chaotic but fun. We could also, you know, because you have a job now, we could do either way, yeah.
SPEAKER_03But it's I mean, I think be couchable, I think we legally have to be sitting on the couch together. We can have separate screens, yeah. But legally we have to be on a couch together.
SPEAKER_00Just on the same couch.
SPEAKER_03Good point.
SPEAKER_01I'll check the rule book, but I'm pretty sure the couchable rule book. Matt is starting it today, but uh yeah, I went to Diablo 4, and I'll tell you what, they do get the the glitz and the glamour of like loot drops because like immediately I was sucked in. All right, yep. And it's just it is lizard nose, yeah, they learn it's like gambling. You see all the glitz and the glamour and the drops. Oh man, and I well, like I said, maybe we'll do a couchable, so we'll talk more about that kind of stuff. Okay, but yeah, um Diablo 4 is on another level as far as they really have like because we played way back.
SPEAKER_03Oh, at first came out and then I went back to it Yeah, you did. You say um yeah, with um yeah, some I think it was Scott, Pen Scott. Um Penscott and played after one of the oh I did a season. I did it uh the first time I've ever done like a season. That's what I was gonna say. That I didn't ever done the season before. It's neat, but I I like I because it forces you start over, yeah, but they make those season characters fast level up. Yeah, you blew through it. And I played the the the bear, the current dude, and that was fun.
SPEAKER_01That was fun, yeah. So that's what I did, and I had yeah, it was it was addictive. I was hooked. So I'm saying we'll do that with the uh with the expansion, or is that a whole other well they're in the current because I played I literally played like seven days before a new season. Okay, and I crushed it because I I got hooked again immediately. I did everything and I love it, it's so cool. But um, yeah, I think by the time when I I'll mention we screwed up, but yeah, the new expansion will probably it'll probably be a new season. We both can be paladins then. We could.
SPEAKER_03I mean, you'd have to. I mean, I want to be a paladin.
SPEAKER_01Well, no, that's what I was gonna say. Um well, you could be a paladin, and then the sorcerer is the next that's the true new class. Paladins kind of semi-released. You had to pay for the expansion, pre-order it, and you can get the paladin. Oh, oh, so you could be the sorcerer and I could be a paladin. We can reverse our rules.
SPEAKER_03Sure, never imagine.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's what I say. We could reverse the rules a little. I like it. Alright, let's do it. So they're gonna be actually, which kind of weird, but it works out that we could both be, you know, new classes and we could do a couchable. I like it. So I don't won't talk too much more about the on glow because maybe. So that's what I and then there's one other game, but I'll let you go if you have anything else.
SPEAKER_03Um I do. I do have a uh a little a little one. So I mentioned I there was one game I've played in the past two weeks.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_03And it is Bro Tato.
SPEAKER_01I did see that.
SPEAKER_03So I played it with Lindsay, that's Dr. Lindsay Kelly, fan of the show, was on the show for uh you missed the party. It was a St. Patrick's Day party. She's been apparently wanting us to play this, and I kind of remember talking, I don't know. She was worried we were gonna make fun of it because the game came out um in this year. It was like it was a couple years ago. Um, but I know it's definitely out for the Switch, the Xbox, and the PlayStation. Um, I definitely know it's out for the PlayStation because I just bought it earlier today. And uh, you know, depending on our mood, we might play it later. Oh, well, I'm gonna we're gonna play it. It is stupid, silly, and a ton of fun. It's kind of like Vampire Survivors a little bit, but it's the screen is smaller and it's very, very quick. There's all kinds of character classes, some are ridiculous. It's classic. Oh my mind. Yeah, Lindsay found this, Lindsay, and she loves it. I agree. I mean, we played for like a couple hours till you know other people started showing up and actually wanted us, you know, actually socialize. Socialize. Your wife ruined it for us. No, actually, I think we're done before. Anyways, yeah, it's a ton of fun. I recommend it. Check it out. I think it's five bucks bro Tato. Um, it's just a fun, silly. The best part is so when you're out of side the menus in between the maps, but when you're actually doing the actual um gameplay, which can run for it starts off about 30 seconds, it gets longer to about 90 seconds, so it's never very long. Yeah, but you can play it one-handed because it just it's an auto shooter. Uh-huh. So you just move the left stick. That's all you have to do. So the other hand is free for some drinking. Podcasting, you do no-handed.
SPEAKER_01It's true. You do. Interesting. I never heard of that.
SPEAKER_03I mean, I maybe she mentioned it. I don't know, but I'm very excited. Yeah, protato. Check it out, folks. Protato. Great. Um, I think you can definitely do at least four people couchable. Oh. So yeah. Um, I probably won't film tonight.
SPEAKER_01Maybe we will film. We could do a we could do a um couchable with guests. Guestsable. Doesn't matter. Yeah. So is that it? Anything else? No, that's all I got. Really? Yeah. That's all I got. So I want to talk a little bit about this. I'm a trying. I I had all these thoughts, so maybe this will be short, maybe it'll be long. But Game Pass. Like I kind of I feel like I kind of promote Game Pass way more than somebody should. But honestly, it's a great way for me to play games and and talk about them so you can maybe hear about them.
SPEAKER_03But yeah, um there's been a bunch of games that I've talked about on this podcast I would never have had not had Game Pass.
SPEAKER_01No, now if GameMaker starts sending us free copies, sure. But it's an easy way to play games. And this game I recommend for you a little bit. All right. So maybe write it down. So it's called Mini Shoot Adventure. Mini. Yeah, like mini mouse. Like mini. Shoot. Yeah, like shoot. Adventure. Yeah. So uh I it was really I I had I wrote down some info here. It was uh released in 2024. And as far as I saw, it was on Game Pass, um, Xbox, Mac, Windows. Oh, nothing's on Mac, so go game. Yeah, so like, but it's that's it. It's not on PS5 or anything or whatever. Uh it's a s and I wanted to do this because we never talk about the actual game makers, Soul Game Studio.
SPEAKER_03I always throw that up on uh on the YouTube. Yeah, I'll throw up the developer, but I guess the home listeners.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I always feel kind of bad because I don't research. And I didn't research, I forgot to do the soundtrack because the soundtrack's really cool. Um so it's it's a very cartoony cell-shaded shooter. It's a twin, it's technically a twin stick shooter, and what that means is on a controller you have two sticks, joysticks, and one will aim and one will shoot. It's very easy, organic. It'll make sense when you actually hold a controller.
SPEAKER_03I I want to say like the quintessential twin stick shooter. Well, if you're talking old school, it would be uh Galaga.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Um, but if you're talking modern age, it'd be um grab Geometry Wars.
SPEAKER_01Geometry Wars, yes. And that's exactly this game. So essentially it's bullet hell, which means a lot of bullets, a lot of orbs are flying at you, and you have to dodge them. It's kind of like this game's pretty fair, but it's challenging. And then it melds that with Zelda. So replace Zelda with a flying ship. It's so weird, it works. Oh, my mind's going in good places. It's a mini Zelda game. So by mini, I just mean it's not a hundred.
SPEAKER_02Okay, okay.
SPEAKER_01It's I I think I I just beat it, so and it took me about. 20 hours. So it's a nice short. Perfect. Yeah. And it's a Metroidvania, which is Zelda. Really? Yeah. Is it top down or yeah, top down. Like Zelda, like the original Zelda. It looks they oh they you could tell they make so much homage to the original Zelda. Like when you go to a new, like you go across and you exit a map area. The shift. Yeah, the shift.
SPEAKER_03Oh no.
SPEAKER_01And then there's like random keys that open up new areas. And like things like the door. Graphic-wise, is it throwback or is it? Well, no, it's retro, but it uh like I said, it's like modern cell shading retro.
SPEAKER_03Okay, so retro graphics, but still has more like lighting and uh bloom effects and stuff like that.
SPEAKER_01It looks yeah, it actually looks really nice. It's not like bit graphics, like uh hyperlight drifter. Yes, okay, it reminded me a ton of that. There you go, cool. Yeah, I like the graphical stuff. Like I said, it only takes 20 hours. And it's at first I was tempted to just give up on it, but when I when I really followed through, I was like, this is and it's super well designed. All the levels, all the cool little boss at lit levels. If you've played Zelda, you know, like there's like boss areas where you know you're obviously going to a boss, but it's like a whole level, it it it just plays on that whole Zelda. So if you like Zelda, play this. It's a hundred percent an homage to like old school, pretty good yeah, uh sell you get got there.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I mean I I can't recommend, I'm buying, or in this case, not buying, but already buying.
SPEAKER_01I mean, if you have yeah, it's a no-brainer. If you got game pass. Game pass, go for it. It's it's it's like the like if you look right now, well, as of us talking, it's under the new games.
SPEAKER_03Okay, yeah. I was gonna say Phil Spencer, we're doing your job for you, but I realized well, we kind of are because his ass ain't there anymore. No, he got fired, that motherfucker. No, he's tapped down and retired. That's true. I'm sure that was completely all his own decision.
SPEAKER_01Xboxes and some shit, but game pass is definitely worthy. So I I highly recommend I think you you'll love well. Some game pass. You're on you're on like the mid-tier, right? Well, yeah, low. I think Haley went to the lowest tier. And I did find that um it could be respawn, but um ball versus pit is premium. It's not under so I couldn't play that. Oh, okay. I can't play that. And there was another Metro Vania game that it was kind of it sounded neat. It was like very like they did the flashing of all the reviews, and it sounded very cool, and then I was like, oh, I'll play that for the for the podcast, and it said premium only. So I couldn't play that one.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, because I I I think, yeah, Game Pass PC doesn't have tiers, it's just Game Pass for TC. Yeah, that's what you're saying. I get it all. So it's so weird. I know it is, but anyway.
SPEAKER_01But yeah, highly recommend go, go, go.
SPEAKER_03That's it. That's all I played. All right. Well, thank you for joining us for that amazing
Boss Battle: Vault Hunter Tier List
SPEAKER_03segment. Bringing the hat down. All right, so this is the first for this YouTube channel, but it is uh definitely not the first ever for the internet. Uh, we're gonna do uh a ranking, a tier ranking. Is that what they're called? I don't know.
SPEAKER_01You know, S A B C D E F Yeah, I just curious, and this is gonna sound old and dumb. Uh-huh. Oh, this is my pencil. Thank you. Um what does S stand for? Is it super?
SPEAKER_03Sort of. That's one of those it it was it was uh Japanese gaming thing. Okay. Um, it was you know above A. Okay, yeah. It was those old fighting games or things like that. You could always, you know, the A was you know the best, but then it was like super secret special.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_03I don't know if it actually stood for anything or what the origins are. You know, it's typical uh Okay. Yeah, yeah. So that's why S is just like the above. Like platinum, you know, things are shouldn't normally be, you know, achievable.
SPEAKER_01So I don't know if we're Are we gonna do S A B C Are we gonna keep going? I don't are there any D's?
SPEAKER_03Nah, we're not gonna go D's. Well leave it. I mean I I could I will adjust this amazing graphic right here. Um as I have no idea how I'm gonna do this, but I'm gonna figure it out for you folks. Um my video editing is it's getting better. I'm getting pretty good.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Uh, but we'll figure it out. For you listening at home, you don't care. So fuck it. Fuck you. But yeah, you you should um, yeah, so one of us should write it all down. Um I'm just I just wanted to write Oh, you want to write the letters down so you know what your options were?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I'm just trying to remember what I'm thinking about.
SPEAKER_03Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. So basically, A is like great, but S is like above and beyond. Right. So I don't know if we're actually having any S. Maybe. We'll see. We'll see. This is interesting. So we'll put it Matt's mom in there.
SPEAKER_01Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_03Kath, how you doing? Does she listen? Does she even listen? Absolutely not. I told her not to. I thought it's not for mom. She hates swearing. She hates what I swear. Really? Yes. Oh my god, yes, yes, yes. And she does not care at all, obviously, about video games at all. But she's very happy for me. Has she ever played a video game? My mom hasn't even looked at me playing a video game. No, absolutely. No, nothing at all. But she loves that me and you get together and have our good fun together.
SPEAKER_01That's a good mom.
SPEAKER_03It is, it is. Alright. So, alright, I guess I'll write down. So, okay, folks. We should explain what the fuck we're doing. That's right. We haven't, we're just gonna yelling out shit. Oh, this is the best episode. This is gonna be this episode, it's just uh unhinged phenomenal. I can't wait for the reviews. Oscars, do they give Oscars for podcasts? We're gonna get the first one. We're gonna get the first Oscar. All right. This is um Michael B. Jordan's gonna be on here next episode. Okay, that'd be amazing. That'd be pretty cool. I feel like he plays the game. Yeah, you know, I celebrated St. Patrick's Day by watching Sinners. Oh, what'd you think? I love that one of my favorite moves ever. Really? Yes. Dude, yes.
SPEAKER_01So I watched it.
SPEAKER_03Oh, you did?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Okay. I liked it. I just wasn't sure.
SPEAKER_03There's a lot. It's a lot to take in. There's a lot happening. I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna hate on it.
SPEAKER_01I just I just I was interested to see why people and but I I thought I thought it was really good.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01I mean, we that was mine.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, let's not review that here. We're not gonna review sinners. S doesn't stand for sinners. Oh my god. Okay, so folks, hello, welcome to the boss battle. Hi, thank you for joining us. Um, what we're going to do is we're gonna we we put in a hat. Here, that's a hat. Um all of the vault hunters from all of the Borderlands games. Now we're we're we should explain all right here. We arbitrarily, this is what we decided was Borderlands one, pre-sequel, two, three, and four. Okay. We didn't include um Wonderlands, um, we did include a pre-sequel. I don't know, because we felt like that was a mainline game. Yeah, and it's all of them, including the DLC characters. Yeah, DLC. So we didn't realize how many. It's a lot.
SPEAKER_01Bear with us.
SPEAKER_03So we're gonna pull out a name, and together we're just we haven't really this one. We we we usually pre-research boss battle, but today it's not. We're just gonna kind of be like we're gonna discuss the whole coins and give a letter grade. Like we're teachers, you know.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, we're gonna we're gonna and let it let everybody know we don't know what the fuck we're talking about.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, some of these I don't think uh between the two of us, we usually play opposite characters. Yes. Like, so yeah, we never but there are some, there's gonna be at least a couple neither one of us have played as not that many, surprisingly not that many. No. Uh, but yeah, just go easy on us, folks. This is uh this is all for shits and giggles.
SPEAKER_01This is and I guarantee if you pick one of our S characters, you'll win.
SPEAKER_03Yes, yes. And I guarantee if we do this again tomorrow, it would be completely different rankings. Just yeah. We're building this up. Let's do it. Oh, all right.
SPEAKER_01So I'll I'll pull the first one. I mean, masking the drink out. Let's do it. Oh, I'll pull it first. Let's do it.
SPEAKER_03Okay, first one is Flack.
SPEAKER_02Ooh, Flack for me.
SPEAKER_03The Beastmaster from Borderlands 3. So I think you played as Flack. I did. Yes, you did. I love Flack. You love Flack.
SPEAKER_01I I I don't know if I'd go S, but I would go A. So I'm gonna say A for Flack.
SPEAKER_02A for Flack.
SPEAKER_03Um Do you have any? I don't never play Asm. Um so Beastmaster, so he obviously summoned creatures. That was his thing. Yeah. Now, was he good both for single and multiplayer? That's something I consider. Yeah, well, no, I I I don't consider that stupid shit.
SPEAKER_01I just think he's cool.
SPEAKER_03Okay, well, if you're gonna get to S, you gotta be good for both.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's why I said I want to say S.
SPEAKER_03Alright, so you still going for A?
SPEAKER_01I'm gonna say A.
SPEAKER_03I love the dialogue. I was gonna say, I think we should consider both playability and yeah, dialogue um um uh uh character appeal. We don't we don't play games to be the dominant. I don't remember Flack was Flack from Borderlands 3 was he wasn't the Irish, other robot. Yes, robot. Okay. And um he was I loved him. Okay. I mean was he your main guy when we played?
SPEAKER_01No.
SPEAKER_03All right, that's why. That was uh I I actually Okay, that's why. Yeah, so actually I've I've never witnessed him. I actually know nothing about him.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, well, yeah, Borderlands 3 I played through almost everybody. But I would say he flak was throw it up there, throw it up there then. All right, let's go with Flack. I'm gonna put an F for Flack. Oh, yeah. Well, um You're writing down the official ones.
SPEAKER_03Hold on. S A B C. I don't know if we're gonna have any D's. I mean you could go down to E and F, but I don't think we're gonna have any D.
SPEAKER_01I think we'll go D.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, D is good. So A, Flack spelled with a 4. Yeah. Because Borderlands. Yeah. Alright, I like it. I like it. Yeah, you pulled an X one. I'll pull the next one. Pick a good one, pick a good one. We're going to get one. This is it. I pulled like a ton of things.
SPEAKER_01Ah, you ruined it. I did ruin a layer of lies. Amon, the Forge Knight from BL4.
SPEAKER_03All right. So this is your, if you will, current character for me and you. Yes.
SPEAKER_01And I won't lie. Based on early, because we haven't beat the game.
SPEAKER_03No, we were we were I think we put in like 30 hours. Yeah. 20 of it was all in the first day. Yeah. Pretty much. So we're we're surprisingly not very far from being huge Borderlands fans because we gotta bring this podcast to you, and we can't be playing on that.
SPEAKER_01No, we can't. But I'm gonna say C. Oof.
SPEAKER_03That's rough. It's rough.
SPEAKER_01Okay. I I know you, yeah, you've you felt I want to I just want him to be an S or an A. I just I can't. Yeah. You felt lukewarm on it. That's why I've gathered that from you playing with him. Yeah, I just I don't know. There's just I'm maybe I'm not playing him correctly.
SPEAKER_03Well, yeah, but leveling him up correctly. You shouldn't have to. I know people look out these builds, and we we don't do that. No, that's what we should. That's what I'm saying. We're not a build guy. We're not a builds, guy. We just do it and have fun with it. And but I will I will give all these. So here's here's I want to give a backstory. Okay. The backstory. The way Borderlands has always worked is the the current playable characters, the Vault Hunters, don't flesh out their story that much. It's gotten better over the years, as we were saying, like the very first Borderlands 1, the Vault Hunters, you didn't know shit about them, even to the point you didn't know the all their names. Yeah, right. But then when the next game it become the NPCs, so you learn more about them. Right. So these characters grow over time. Yeah. So when you're first introduced to them, you you don't know who the fuck they are. Right. So that's a little bit of the problem, but you can kind of tell real quick whether or not you're gonna like them. Yeah. Yeah. And uh so far. Or Amon, like Amon Amarth.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I think it's Amon Amon. Well, you assume that's how you say it. Right, right.
SPEAKER_02Go ahead, Matt.
SPEAKER_03My turn to piggy picky. We got our own. Yeah, we do. Wow, this is this is crazy. I picked Vex, the witch from Borderlands 4, and that has been my character uh so far in Borderlands 4. So Matt will decide this one. I'll see. I'm also gonna go see.
SPEAKER_00Wow.
SPEAKER_03Yes. So for those of you who don't know, every and it's not always been on purpose. Well, it has been the last two games, but I always go with the siren. Um my first character, at least, just because that's that's the way now it's just been the way I've done it. But um, I I think the one of the problems is her character has changed a lot. There's about been a lot of patching and changing. You know, let's talk about that bloodletting thing. I don't even know what the fuck is going on right now. They got rid of it and they brought it back. So I I I I kind of like her, but I haven't grown into her yet. Um and her as a character, same thing. I I don't know. But I it might not be my own fault. I just don't, you know. I don't know her. So go with your gut.
SPEAKER_01So I think that's fair.
SPEAKER_03So C tier. It might change, you know. Again, ask me as I get to know her a little better. But yep. Uh Harlow. Oh yeah. That was the one that you were like, wait, really? Harlow. Who's Harlow? It says on there. The Gravitar from Borderlands 4. I don't know. I thought, didn't you play as all the characters?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I did. Which one is that, though? Is that the guns? I I don't, yeah, I don't. Do we need to look it up?
SPEAKER_03I thought you looked like I thought you had your phone. Uh my tablet's charging. My phone is recording this goddamn episode. Let's look up Harlow. Harlow's the other one that isn't a easy to look up Harlow. Amon Vex or if it's the guy I'm thinking of. No, it's not a guy, it's the girl. It's the other girl. Wow, folks, we are so prepared. Harlow, BL4. BL4. Oh, yeah, I haven't played as Harlow. Alright, so neither one of us has played as okay. Yeah. So what do we grade a student we don't know their work? Let's go S, because I like her. Harlow gets an S. Harlow. You know what? Because you know what? We're all born as an S. And our life decisions just bring us down. Alright, there it is, folks. Harlow has potential that we don't even know about. Yeah, I didn't even know Harlow existed. All right, but damn it. She's an S. Man, this is going great. There's gonna be no complaints at all on the line. Oh, Jack, the doppelganger. Oh, you played the game. From the pre-sequel um expansion, he was an expansion character.
SPEAKER_01I don't I thought you played as I don't play. No.
SPEAKER_03Who did you play in the prequels? Um, I was I think Nisha the gunslinger. Was that a person? Uh sounds I think I wanted to play as Jack, but I ended up not. So it technically isn't Jack. Technically, it's Jack's Doppelganger.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_03We don't we're not gonna even get into that. Um so neither one of us obviously played as Jack Um or non-Jack. So I'll let you decide this one. Uh B. B. Yeah, he seems like a B.
SPEAKER_01This is Jack's Doppel Doppelganger. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03I I think we played as less characters than we thought. Well, there was a lot. Yeah. We only played it once.
SPEAKER_01Did you ever play second character?
SPEAKER_03I replayed it. Okay.
SPEAKER_01Oh, listen to this. You were talking about this. Nisha.
SPEAKER_03Oh.
SPEAKER_01The Lawbringer. Oh, the law. Yeah, from uh TPS. The pre-pre-sequel. Um that's you.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, so I'm not gonna even judge because I never played. So Nisha was the first character, at least I played as that had started doing the stacks.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_03Where you start, I don't know, yeah. Well we'll only describe the mechanics of Borderlands here. If you know, you know, if you don't, you don't. We don't. Um, which made her a lot. She was the character who, and I've had a sense, I always had to look up, like, wait, what is this? What is this? What is this? What I gotta do. She was very powerful when you played to that. But it was sometimes a little too much. Um I wish I remember hers in person. Um, and I don't was she the one that was always a little horny and always being or was that oh man. That's you. Yeah, yeah. She knows a little better. So I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go with B.
unknownB.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Nisha.
SPEAKER_01Nisha's a B. Maybe she's got B cops. Not prime cops. Alright. Anyway, moving on. Matt's We know is all about the prime. Alright. Athena and the gladiator, the pre-sequel. Yeah, alright. Athena. Never played as well. Yeah, neither one of us did. Um but it's Athena. She's a god. Yeah, so at least an A. An A.
SPEAKER_03Alright. Oh, this is so scientific and well thought out. She got a shield. Yeah? I remember that. Athena was also in um Hades. Oh, I was gonna say in um The Tales from the Borderlands, right? Yeah, yeah, okay. She definitely deserves an A. Yeah, A for that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, right. That's a good ass game.
SPEAKER_03Alright, we have Mordecai the hunter from the original Borderlands. Um, so we never we didn't play Borderlands one together, did we? No. No, we did not. Um, were you ever Mordecai?
SPEAKER_01No. I don't remember what I the first time I played it, it was just like, what the hell is this? And also, it's kind of cool. But the second time I remember, but in the first time, I don't even know what the fuck I played. Because I just remember, what am I playing? It was one. Mordecai would have been the sniper. Yeah, I don't think I I definitely don't think I played as a sniper. Oh, so what do you but Mordecai is the coolest motherfucker. He's an S. He's got a bird. Oh, you had an S for Mordecai? Mordecai's an S. Shit. Alright, folks, whatever. If you're if you disagree with that, he doesn't have a bird. Yeah, yeah.
unknownSpoiler.
SPEAKER_01Um oh, Salvador. This is who I played with the first time on Borderlands 2. Okay, Salvador. The gunserker. Oh, okay. And I had no clue what I was doing, but I love him. I love his vibe. So he was he could hold uh two guns. Yeah. Yeah, that was his thing. As Young and say, and I started the podcast with I Like His Riz. He's an A. Hey.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_03And that was Salvador. Salvador. I don't remember much about him as a personality. That was Borderlands 2.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it was Borderlands.
SPEAKER_03He didn't make much of an appearance there from there on out. No.
SPEAKER_01Well, he's the only thing he did after that was Borderlands 3. He's part of um the expansion where they did their hurricane, but it was like their version of Fortnite where like there was an island and then. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's one of the few I haven't played. Yeah, that's where his little bit of he got his post whatever love. But yeah. Okay.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01I liked Salvador. I just at the time I didn't understand. Yeah, starting out as you really getting into the Borderlands.
SPEAKER_03So it's interesting. I got this one. Ooh. Krieg the Psycho. That's you. Borderlands 2 as an expansion. He was not original. So this was my second character on Borderlands 2, who also happened to be in the movie. That's true. That's true. So this is tough for me because he was difficult. So he wasn't always dip not necessarily difficult. He was also difficult when you're playing with other people. Yeah. Because Kriegs, Krieg was best when he was almost dead.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And he had this great ability of if you did a melee, it could do like a plus a thousand percent damage, but had a 10% chance of killing yourself. I love that. And also because the other things I picked, he couldn't be revived. Like he would just die. Well, what it was when he went to death mode, he would throw he could throw dynamite. But if you if you You wouldn't revive me in time. I couldn't revive myself. It was something weird. Yeah, yeah. So it was difficult on you. Right. So I don't know where. Fuck S. Krieg is a fucking S. Oh, wow. Because I mean, he's insane.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And hard to play as, but so rewarding. And yet remember the uh the DLC was a kind of very touching thing because there was that little element. Yeah, he uh he kind of was in love with uh Maya, but uh oh my uh Oh Brick Brick!
SPEAKER_01The original the original The Berserker Well Brick I mean Brick is S.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, Brick Brick He's been there. Brick has been in he I loved him in Tiny Tina's Assault on uh Dragon Keep. He was just hilarious. He was like the dumb guy. Like he's like you're typical. But yeah, he's yeah, he's great. Brick is great. You can't hate him. Have you ever played his brick though? No, I never use Brick. Me either. Don't care. We like him. I love him. Brig us! Bring us Brick.
SPEAKER_01That doesn't matter.
SPEAKER_03It's hard. Oh, Rafa, uh the exosoldier from Borderlands 4. So this is was this your secondary character, your main, your main secondary.
SPEAKER_01And I honestly, based on Amon, I would say he's at least B or A. I'll let you decide, but I would say B or A because I love him. B. Alright, we'll be I don't know. Because we need some more B's. Okay. But yeah, he's definitely a lot funner initially. Okay. But whether that changes, I don't know. Or I'm playing them wrong. I don't know. Well, that that's but that's their fault. Yeah, that's true. I mean, I'm just an average dumb gamer. Almost as a gamer.
SPEAKER_03Barely.
SPEAKER_01Alright. Maze. Oh yeah, Mouse. Or Mo's. Mo's. We'll say Mo's. Mo's. The Gunner from Borderlands Her. I definitely played as her because like I said, I played Gunsurker from. Well, not Gunsurker. Oh, she wasn't the Gunser? No. She's just the Gunner. Oh, the Gunner.
SPEAKER_03The gun. The Gunner. Yeah, you're right. Right. From Borderlands 3. 3. Okay. Which she was. No, there weren't any expansions.
SPEAKER_01She had the Mechs. Oh, she had to be a chance. No, the Mechs in the original.
SPEAKER_03That's right. They didn't have an expansion of Borderlands 3.
SPEAKER_01Well, they did, but well, did they? No, no extra characters. Yeah, you're right.
SPEAKER_03They had another skill tree. So she was mainly introduced as to be a playable character if you didn't have any friends. Oh, is that right? She she was meant to be like if you didn't have anyone else play, was she supposed to be more.
SPEAKER_01But yeah, her big thing was a mech. And uh I played as her, and I I I enjoyed it, and then when you got really good, it was like embarrassingly.
SPEAKER_03So she was my secondary player, and I I feel exactly the same. Like it was fun at first, and then it's like, holy shit, I'm just yeah, I'm crushing. I mean, is that a down thing? Yeah, it kind of is. You don't want to ruin the balance. Yeah, I would say let's go see. I was gonna say C. That's tough for her, man. Yeah, I was like Rose, yeah, moves. And her as a person, I don't know. I really don't know her.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, personally wasn't exactly interesting.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, but she wasn't she wasn't quite fleshed out, and she wasn't much in four. Well, we wouldn't know. I mean, I haven't finished four, yeah.
SPEAKER_01I well no, I haven't played since the last one.
SPEAKER_03There hasn't been much of the the other characters in four. But maybe four is kind of a reboot. Yeah. Okay. Nice game. From the pre-sequel. Oh, we're gonna pre-sequels. Our CLP T4. Oh, clap is it CLP? What is this in actual initials? Remember? Yeah, CL4. Yeah, it doesn't matter. We're talking about the one and only clap trap as the frag trap. I will never forget the first time I look over, and you're all of a sudden a pirate ship moving very slowly and just firing cannons. I'm like, what the fuck is going on?
SPEAKER_01He was such a weird He's creepy, but the opposite-ish. And um my heart will say S because I will always love Clapp Dream.
SPEAKER_03Right. But as a vault hunter, as a playable vault hunter, because you have yeah, because we're not talking him as an NPC. Yeah, we're talking him as a vault hunter. Yeah, I'll I'll I'll throw that out there.
SPEAKER_01You know what? For all those haters, I'll go D. I'll go D.
SPEAKER_03I love it. I'm sorry, Clappy. He was, I remember, yeah, you it was that's fine because wait, yeah, you were him, you were claptrap, and I was uh Nisha. Yeah, and um yeah, I remember saving you a lot.
SPEAKER_01I replayed it and I was claptrapping, and it was not much different. So he's not fun, but I love claptrap. Yeah, all right, he's not great. Pull one. Alright, let's go. Keep moving. Let's move on. Moving on, moving on. Read it up. Uh Axton out of the commando. He's generic as shit. He's a D.
SPEAKER_03Which one was he from? Oh.
SPEAKER_01Read it, read it.
SPEAKER_03Borderlands 2. Yeah, I never played as Axton.
SPEAKER_01Axton is so generic. Um Yeah, I don't even remember what he looked like. Yeah. What was he? He's he's like I think he was your standard white boy commando like gunner. He was like with the gray beard. I don't think he had even the beard. I think he was just like a clean cut.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I can't remember him.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Yeah. D. Yeah. Is it D? He's not memorable. If he is something. Correct.
SPEAKER_03Like, he never made an appearance in any of the other characters.
SPEAKER_01I don't think so. I think they knew that. I was like, eh, it's uninteresting.
SPEAKER_03Oh, okay. Z Row or Z your Zero. Mm-hmm. Um, the assassin. Yeah, that's what I claimed that was. I think that was my first character. Yeah. Which I always found funny because so Zero's class, oddly enough, was what Lilith was in the first Borderlands. Oh. Because she was technically an up close invisible okay. Yeah, because Siren mechanics changed a lot between games. But, anyways, I'm just saying.
SPEAKER_01I you know, like I think Zero captured my attention because he reminded me a little bit of Snake Eyes from GIG.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah. And so he was the coolest. Kind of robotic voice, and yeah.
SPEAKER_01I think he was like the coolest dude ever. But when I played him, it was difficult.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it was melee was tough in those early days.
SPEAKER_01Especially because you had to hit the freaking stick in. Yeah, I'd say B or C. What do you think, man? What do you say? His coolness brings him the least off the bait. Yeah, we'll say B for that. But I loved his vibe. Yeah? Oh, wait, no, I'm not pulling. We we're almost done, actually. We're moving along pretty quick.
SPEAKER_03Oh, Aurelia, the Baroness. Ah she was the DLC number two of the city.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, she became the bad guy in the Borderlands 3.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I knew I never played as her. You never write, you didn't play as her. Um well, I'll let you decide because I have no um I get she's uh she never left the bus. She's an F. She's still on the bus.
SPEAKER_01Alright.
SPEAKER_03I'm writing the bus. Bus. Already uh maybe she stayed at home. Homeschooled. Homeschooled! Never made the buzz. She might be amazing, but we'll never know. Nobody gives a shit. Oh, from the original Borderlands. Okay. Roland the soldier. Ah, Roland. R.I.P. Roland. This is tough, man. Kevin Hart. He did a really good job. I think he did it. Yeah, he did a great job. Considering he doesn't. Considering the movie that he was given. So where does one put I have to A. Just A. Alright. Just because That feels right. He's lead of the Crimson Rangers, you know. He is a character, was well crafted. Um probably one of the better all around. And I'm I I'm pretty sure he was, I never played as him. All right. That's right.
SPEAKER_01All right. Wow, we're really moving on. Yeah, we are moving on. Okay. Uh oh, Lilith. I never played as Lilith. I'll revert to you.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, Lilith uh was my first. And I do I mean, Lil Lilith is Lilith. She's hot. She's redhead. And I do remember once it got close to end game, I was destroyed. They actually had to nerf her because she was like too fucking powerful. So she's ass. She's ass. I mean, Lilith.
SPEAKER_01Lilith is an esser. I like it. That's a good pick. Give you a pick.
SPEAKER_03Maya. The siren. People were so upset. Borderlands 2. So you know I'm my first character is always Maya.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Um also R I P.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's what I said. Like people were people really were mad that it killed her off. Alright. Mass says, eh. And eh, to me, is easy at least a C. I'm giving her C.
SPEAKER_03I she was fine. I her. Yeah. I didn't. Yeah, she was fine.
SPEAKER_01That's fair. I mean, I this isn't your list. This is our list, motherfucker. Alright. Wilhelm.
SPEAKER_03Hmm.
SPEAKER_01Oh, yeah. I never replaced it.
SPEAKER_03Oh, that was a robot from the pre-sequel?
SPEAKER_01Oh, yeah, the robot.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, the robot.
SPEAKER_01He's an S.
SPEAKER_03Alright, we're all S's today, folks. So he because he had quite a story arc in both the pre-sequel. Well, in Borderlands 2, he he's a main villain in Borderlands 2. Yeah. And you in you wait, yeah, yeah, and and you see his lead up into becoming because he wasn't a robot originally, remember? Right. He turns into one through the the course of the. So in good arc. Is that who you played as? No. Oh, so you just asked because of the story? Yeah. Okay, fine. I like this story. Well, there are no roles here, folks. There are no roles.
SPEAKER_01And I guarantee you, who plays him, you'll win. Everything.
SPEAKER_03Amara, the siren from Borderlands. That's yours. That's you. And yeah, this was my girl. I played probably I've probably spent more time with her than any other.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And I want to say that, yeah, she was the one that was like, hmm, I like it when you hit her and stuff like that, right?
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Oh, well. That, and then also Craig was like, every time he killed someone, he'd go, Love you.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, that's right. I remember Omar was very unhinged and also very strong as fuck. If you you played her well.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah. I but I'm not gonna S her. Mar just an A. Oh, she's well, if it's her name. She's great, but yeah, she's not, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Ah, Zayn. He's finally!
SPEAKER_03Zane's an S. Yeah, well, I mean He's an Irishman. An Irishman.
SPEAKER_01Irish.
SPEAKER_03I'll drink for that. Top of the morning to Zane. Top of the Morning. Solancha.
SPEAKER_01Oh, yeah. Solancha. What else you need? Doesn't matter, folks.
SPEAKER_03That's all you need to know.
SPEAKER_01That's it. Fantastic.
SPEAKER_03Who the fuck is left? I don't know, folks. Who's left? Write in your comments right now. Sometimes we wish we didn't do this live.
SPEAKER_01Well, sometimes we should do live, I would think.
SPEAKER_03Oh! Gage! The mecromancer. Oh, gauge. From Borderlands to a DLC. So, never played as Gage. I played as Gage. Never knew anything about her. From the DLC, though. But from the DLC, um, what what was um the the the wedding of oh my god, what was the name of that DLC? Love Tentacles. Love in Tentacles, which was an amazing DLC. Very good. Um, very Lovecraftian, and yet um so during the course of this DLC, Gage impersonates as a wedding planner, impersonates all the other characters from the series. Yes, she does. And it was fucking fantastic. All right, but I don't know how she plays. She might be put up.
SPEAKER_01She plays fantastic.
SPEAKER_03Well, then that seems S because she seems awesome and plays well.
SPEAKER_01Alright, if you want to go S, I would say A or S. Or S. It doesn't matter.
SPEAKER_03Well, folks, um, as it's supposed to be on a bell curve, um, only one or two percent of your players should be S and most of them should fall into B. Well, um, most of ours fell into S, but that's because Borderlands is fucking amazing and they write great characters. Borderlands is an S game. There it is.
SPEAKER_01I'm happy with this. Matt will do hopefully by the Yep.
SPEAKER_03If you disagree with any of our decisions, you can go to www.fuckyouwe don't care.com. Um and uh write us uh several complaints, and we will be sure to uh uh take note of them and respond to each one of you personally. Thank you and God bless.
Respawn
SPEAKER_03All right, time for respawn everybody's favorite segment because we get we're the only ones that care about this kind of shit. That's true. Yeah, but but we're uh I feel bad. But it's fine because I'm pretty sure the things we get wrong and we don't care about are the things people actually care about. We always care about like the little nitpicky things, usually music. Music is a big one. So uh you got you got a couple, you got one, four or you want 300? You go, I'll only have one. So if you got one, I'll I'll sandwich you.
SPEAKER_01Alright, we'll sandwich it. We'll we'll make it nice and sandwiches, ammy. All right. So uh let's see. Let's go with Oh, I wanted to mention this. God of War. We talked quite a bit about God of War, but didn't really give any actual information. And I don't have much more information, but it we uh I mentioned we may I well I made a joke, but either way, it's being it's not HBO, it's Amazon is doing oh yeah, that's I yeah, I keep forgetting that, which that was something, yeah. And then uh Odin. We talked quite a bit about Odin and how who was playing him, but we didn't actually say his name. No, that's right, we didn't, and his name is Mandy Patik Patinkin? Patin? Patinkin Patinkin. Yes, yes, and uh if you know that guy, you know. Uh and then also from the whole God of War, you asked me a question who I thought should play Kratos, because I was very skeptical. Yeah, yeah, and you were like, you didn't have an answer. Well, I had an answer. I said Jackie Chan, which was absurd. That's right. But no way I said Jackie Chan, because he can fight. But it that was a drunken, dumb, stupid pick. But I thought about it, and I was like thinking about it a lot. Like, who would I pick? Because you put me on the spot and I didn't have anything prepared. All right, but I did have now I have something. Okay, and I think who could play him, and it doesn't matter now because they picked their person, but was um Jason Momoa from Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03I wonder if he was it's odd that he was. I think he was in the right. Um I'm sure people said that. I've I'm sure I saw that people said that.
SPEAKER_01I mean, if like and I just wrote here real quick, he played Caldrago, if you watched Game of Thrones, and if you all if you really follow the lineage, like if Caldrago and Khaleesi's son grew up, that's literally what we're watching. Yeah, yeah, very like if it didn't die in birth, yeah, that's what you would be seeing. Okay. So like he was literally the guy. I don't know. He would make the most sense to me. But I don't know, whoever this I don't know the actor was. I can't I don't have that. Yeah, yeah. Is it yeah, uh yeah, so I think we need to say his own. But I think my ultimate pick would be Jason Momo.
SPEAKER_03I don't think I had one. I would have loved Christopher Judge, who voiced Kratos in the kind of the reboot series to play as him, but it it just like he's a little bit older, that's and that kind of wouldn't work. But it's also funny because Christopher Judge, his breakout role, if you will, was in Stargate, and Jason Momoa's breakout role, if you will, was in Stargate Atlantis. So they both have roots in the kind of obscure sci-fi series that had 10 seasons, but not a lot of people actually watched.
SPEAKER_01Now, let me ask you this, man. Yes. Now, this is interesting for you because I feel like you're a nerd on some level. I don't know why I think that at least three levels. Not four. God damn you, not four. He's not a fourth level nerd. Um why did they start God of the War with the newest ones? Like, why don't they want to touch on his history and not like start on the first game?
SPEAKER_03Like I th I think it's too much to give a two origin story to a character for a TV show.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_03And then since this is the most popular, well-known and I wonder if Greek mythology is not hot right now, but Norse mythology is. Oh yeah. That that's my thoughts. Off the bat. I think that's what it is.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_03Because I but I I think they will throw the the throwback and the and the and there'll be flashbacks. There'll be flashbacks, just like when they were in the game, which is really cool. Um and yeah, yeah. I mean they they so they could this is Amazon though, which isn't as cool as HBO now that you're saying it. But I could see, especially it was an HBO show, them uh one episode going back. Right. Full episode. Full full episode back in Greek. That'd be cool. That'd be really fucking cool. Too bad it's gonna probably suck. Ah no, I don't know. You know what? We don't know. We don't know. We don't, we don't know. Um, but you know, casting, I never thought casting, man. Enjoy the show for what it is. We don't know. Actors are actors for a reason. They're good at adapting and acting.
SPEAKER_01So if they're not I like your positive signs. It's new Matt Positivity, motherfucker. Woo! All right. You got any more on respawn? I do. I got one. All right. What's so what's your respawn?
SPEAKER_03You asked me last time and I was confused um about ball X Pit.
SPEAKER_01Oh, you figured this out.
SPEAKER_03Um, yeah, did you figure out the game? I'm like, nope, no, I didn't have to fucking play that game.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03But no, you meant about the actual title.
SPEAKER_01X.
SPEAKER_03The ball, letter X in the pit. So here's my non-answer.
unknownJesus.
SPEAKER_03This basically has origins in anime, right? And a lot of times it's not necessarily an X, it's literally a drawn cross, if you will.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, right.
SPEAKER_03And it's Japanese. So we're talking about a language versus a visual barrier, but a lot most of the time it's not meant to be a word as much as a symbol. So that leaves a lot of interpretation. Fair enough. Um, so sometimes it's silent, so a lot of people say so Papa anime is Hunter X Hunter, and for some reason that show people just say Hunter Hunter. And again, it's just a visible visible representation to uh uh block it up. There's another one, I forgot to write the name down, but it's something DXD. And the D it obviously means D and D. Um, there's other ones where it means cross, then it means where it means like we thought versus. So more than likely it's just ball pitch. And it's just stylized, if you will. Got it. And yeah, that's it. There's there's no right answer. So whatever you want it to be. You know. So it's just thank you, Matt. It's a thing. So ball pit. And remember the important part, remember that you can aim left and right. You don't have to aim forward. That's the most important part. X stands for explain the game to Matt because he doesn't know what the fuck he's doing.
SPEAKER_01Alright. Well, my last, and this is I I don't this isn't anything important, but I was talking a little story, and you were on your iPad, I think. But I talked about Virtual Fighter. Like this? Like a MA. It kind of ignored me a little bit. But Virtual Fighter 4, I talked to them on my little story about walking all the way to the Walmart. And I I won't lie, like my family and certain people in my family like to embellish things. And I I was I embellished a little. But but I won't lie, I hate embellishing. I'm I always try to get things true. But when I was talking about this story, I was like, man, did I say that 100%? It's like the hot dog story. I was like, did I get 100% right? I did not walk four miles to go get virtual fighter four. I embellished that quite a bit. It was what two miles?
SPEAKER_03Two and a half. Okay, yeah. No one cares about that. It could have been 300 feet.
SPEAKER_01And I know maybe drumbilia was like being a little bit sloppy with the numbers.
SPEAKER_03It was two and a half miles. Five miles. I'm saying so you have five miles in a round trip. It's still insane. Yeah. For a game that you could just look at.
SPEAKER_01I just looked at it. Right, right. But I just wanted to clear it up. Because I went in uh IUP and I I Googled it.
SPEAKER_03But also to my to my So you were like thinking about the story. You woke in the middle of that like four miles. And that was your problem.
SPEAKER_01But also fair a little bit fair. We didn't have like Google Maps wasn't a shit bag. Right, right. You didn't have maps. It was like MapPlast. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03I'm gonna say this right now. Walking more than a mile is fucking terrible. And yes, you could have said whatever. It didn't matter. It did not matter. I just I just wanted to I thought you were gonna say it because the problem was like at the beginning of the story, we were talking about PS2s. PS3 or you were off the generation and the talk about points, but you actually didn't say that it's the correct generation in the thing. As I just edited the video on my. You did! Yeah, that's right. So that's what I thought that you were worried about, which is acceptable for the wrong color of the wrong generation. But you're mad because you're mad because you were insane to walk eight miles. You only walked five miles around the trip.
SPEAKER_01No, he's still hunting crazy. Who knows? But I just wanted to clear that.
SPEAKER_03Yes.
SPEAKER_01So that was a response.
SPEAKER_03And we're on a podcast, man. You're supposed to embellish stories. Name one comedian that actually did the shit they said they did.
SPEAKER_01Somebody said, man. I'm not good at that. But I'm getting better. Sorry. Alright. Respond something better.
SPEAKER_03No, seriously, you have anything else? That's it. Oh, that was it. I'm sorry. I mean, don't apologize for being more right.
SPEAKER_01No, that was it. Alright. Respawn is done.
SPEAKER_03Moving on.
SPEAKER_01Moving on, folks.
SPEAKER_03Now
News
SPEAKER_03it's time for the news. Right, newsy time. Andrew, why don't you start us off as always? Because you seem to be the better anchor. Or you're you you're you're the better investigative reporter. I'm trying. I'm still the lead anchor, god damn it.
SPEAKER_01Alright. Well, with news, I've I like to um talk about a lot of random shit, but this is news-ish for you, Matt. So seems like Sony has pulled back from PlayStation games. I don't know. I mean from on PC. I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_03Oh, oh, yeah, because they're originally gonna share and have uh release on uh on everything. I I had not read that. Really?
SPEAKER_01Oh really, yeah. They're gonna back off and are gonna be more exclusive-y.
SPEAKER_03Interesting, because that was their thing was to be less exclusive, but I wonder if they're like reading the room and seeing like Xbox being way, way less exclusive. Yeah, they're like, well, yeah, fuck it. Let's do our thing and we'll just write in some cash. Yeah. All right, all right.
SPEAKER_01All right, all right. Other news. Let's keep going. Why should we talk about Nvidia or NVIDIA?
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Uh uh Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it. I got some notes. Let's let's do it.
SPEAKER_01Let's do it. So, everybody who's anybody who understands video games, yeah. NVIDIA. I didn't realize I didn't realize it was NVIDIA. Yeah, it's not NVIDIA, it's NVIDIA. Yeah, I mean, it's weird. You can say whatever you do. I don't know. I I'm dumb, so it doesn't matter. You don't have to care about the IC.
SPEAKER_03DLS5 is all the news. Do you have anything? I have a very hot take on it. Oh I have a very hot take on it. So, those of you don't know, this is a new, this is kind of their AI tool to create upscale games. A game looks like this at this frame rate, at this hardware level. Let's use AI to make it look better. Previously to this, it just added frames. We're not getting all the we're not getting all the thing. This one, it's all right, so here's what it's supposed to do is add I don't know how to describe it, like add beauty to the game is what it's supposed to do. But on the so a lot of what I'm gonna say is um what I what I what I thought in my head and what I was what what was uh reiterated by Falcon from Game Ranks. Um I'm a big fan. Um we talk about game ranks a lot, usually Jake Baldino, but this is coming from Falcon. I think the big problem and the issue obviously the issue with this is what it does to faces, to humans. That's what everyone cares about, and that's what everyone's caring and focusing about. And I agree, it makes them look like AI slop. Yeah, and but his thing is, and I agree, is it shouldn't touch the faces because faces are the prominent thing we see, and it is an artistic rendition. Yeah, so when you look like resin the newest Resident Evil game, she looks pretty in her own right. Yeah, you throw on this weird ass DLSS, she looks beautiful and gorgeous, and as I say, Kardashian, but that's not what they want, that's not what you're looking for, it's all you're looking for. So it it it it it fucks up face, no, it fucks up the original vision of the face, right? But if you ignore that vision, if you yeah, but you would want to play as that vision, no, all right, but if you ignore all that, like cut out of all the comparison videos, if you cut out the person and look at the background textures, the fabric, the lighting, yeah, it actually is amazing and it doesn't detract, it adds a lot. You know, I love lighting, I talk about lighting a lot about this game. So I think we you have to ignore the headlines, and unfortunately, what Nvidia and oh my god, now you have me doing it, and video is showing it's almost like they they fuck themselves because they have great tech here, they did not present it well. Yeah, again, cut out all that middle, cut out the face. If you just look at if you take your time, you can actually go to their website and do left, right, and scroll and look at the shit. The lighting, it's very subtle, the textures look amazing, but the faces, man. Uh yeah, it's like hopefully they either say like, okay, and you can turn that off and have it just doing lighting, turn it off. Then fuck, yeah, I love it. It's fucking great then. Fucking it could be yeah, user type thing. Kind of like a mod. So that's that that yeah, there you go. That's my so that's my take. I'm very vocal about it because I love I love their shit. It's just they they did not present this well, and they're getting a lot of hate, and they deserve that hate. I'm sorry. See, I love what they did, but I fuck them the way they presented it. I'm sorry, Andrew. You had an opinion maybe too, because you started this conversation.
SPEAKER_01No, I don't. I like my opinion is basically similar to yours. I don't I I I don't I don't care. Yeah, I mean, well, it's sad because um Todd Howard he came out and fully endorsed it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03But I don't did people hate him because it was it, was he I mean, believe it or not, Todd Todd Howard might have like a million things on his plate. Yeah, one of them hopefully is should we should I appear on the Almost Scared Us podcast? Absolutely. But you know, think about it, like they they they threw this at him and he's like, Oh my god. And knowing him, he looked at the details, the textures, and like it looks amazing.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Um but he was like, and it and the shots I've seen for his game aren't that weird. The faces are a little so you know, I mean, it looks AI, but yeah, it's it's no different than a random ass filter. I was gonna say, yeah, filter, and you know about you know, like Bethesda games faces already look a little agree. So again, I think him is as an overall picture guy, like looked at everything else and like, oh my god, this is amazing. Yeah, sure, go with it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, but I also feel like you know, Bethesda's struggle because they've had so much like they they try to make these massive games, so for them, they don't have to necessarily worry about the details of the game. Yeah, this this helps their engine out. Yes, it's like maybe he was just like, This is what I want because I don't want my team to waste time on yeah, pimples and stuff and shit.
SPEAKER_03And for that, the they all they go for realism, so yeah, it's fine. Yeah, but I get I get this for like um Yeah, if you're not doing realism, yeah, you don't give a shit. Yeah, uh uh uh Falcon talks about Capcom face. Like you're thinking a lot a lot of Capcom characters kind of have like similar qualities, and this ruins that. Yeah, I get why you're upset about that. So if you can just turn it off, turn it fucking off and enjoy the background. I'm telling you, people look at the background. It's it's awesome. The lighting, the textures, it's great. There it is.
SPEAKER_01Matt says, look at the background.
SPEAKER_03It's just it's uh technology's advancing, and if people worry about AI, and um just Matt says don't worry. In this don't worry, well, very much so worry. Um in this small instance, guys, just you know, chill with it. You we don't this is a preview, this isn't shit that's out there. That's true. Calm the fuck down, uh, and uh let's see what happens, guys.
SPEAKER_01Let's see the robots take a look away and fucking ruin our lives, and then we'll have to ask Keanu Reeves to save our asses. He's on board.
SPEAKER_03So this is no surprise to anyone. The director, and this is via I should say this is via PC gamer, the director of the first Assassin's Creed with naval battles, yeah, found it bizarre to watch Skull and Bones' agonizingly long development. So, you know, well, we know Skull and Bones took 14 years. Literally, wow, and he said it was essentially the same stuff we did, but worse. Wow. So this is a game developer who worked on the game and watched these people take his ideas and non-iterate on them for 14 years and then release it as an entire game. Which was how did they do that? Ah, committee. There was a lot of board meetings.
SPEAKER_01Starfield. I've heard of it. They're launching Did you hear all about the Starfield? Yes, I did. I actually was paying attention. Okay, yeah. So they're uh the new lanes or whatever it's called. Mm-hmm. And how do you feel about it?
SPEAKER_03I don't so I was reading I was reading through the improvements, and I'm like, I forget too much about the game to remember this is good shit.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_03It's just been too long.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, well, it sounds like the big the big free lanes or new lanes, whatever. Yeah. Is basically you can kind of cruise control. So you can fly your ship, but it's like you said it's cruise control, so you can watch your ship fly to a planet. And then while you're flying, there might be cool things that happen.
SPEAKER_03Okay, so the the the big complaint before was you could technically fly to a planet, yeah, but you couldn't get there. Yeah because visually it looked like you were there. Yeah. The game didn't recognize you as actually traveling. Yeah, there was a kind of And from what I understand, you can also fasten light to a planet, too. Yeah. So you can Yeah, so now sim. You can sim. Yeah. Alright. And then um so that was that's a bit and there's a lot of uh various things could happen between there and here and there.
SPEAKER_01Whether that's interesting or not.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. I get it. That for for select people, they want to they want that. So all right. Do we want do we wanna oh do we wanna drop the sadness? Do you want to drop any?
SPEAKER_01Are we gonna go into the sad news? Okay, so for everybody who hasn't um well, this is probably gonna probably air six months later. But uh Chuck Norris died.
SPEAKER_03Yes, somehow.
SPEAKER_01What was the thing uh Angie or uh Haley put Haley uh read that? Chuck Norris died last night, or he fought the Grim Reaper, won, and now is the new Grim Reaper. That is the reality I choose to believe. So that's the new reality.
SPEAKER_03So um I would like to introduce our home viewing audience to a ritual. We've talked before about Awesome Fest. Yes, a big part of Awesome Fest is we do a reading from the Book of Norris, yeah, and then respond with the response of this is pretty appropriate, Battle Star Battlestar Galactica.
SPEAKER_01Oh, is that from that?
SPEAKER_03It's from that because that show was somehow religious. All right, so I'm gonna just flip through and read uh one and we're gonna do a response. Well, let's do three, let's do three. Three, okay. Three random ones. Wow. Chuck Norris once centered, no, sorry, Chuck Norris once entered a crossword puzzle contest. Contest contest. He won. And the word slent was added to all dictionaries as an acceptable synonym for smell. So say we all. Chuck Norris is the only one hundred percent effective form of contraceptive. So say we all. So say we all. That's true. That's perfect. Chuck Norris's penis has its own zip code. At Christmas time, it gets more mail than Santa Claus. So say we all in R.I.P. Wow. Chuck Norris, you beautiful bearded thumbs up and round has kicking back.
SPEAKER_01Any memories of Chuck Norris other than the book?
SPEAKER_03When I think of Chuck Norris, the first thing that pops my mind is in Dodgeball when he gives the thumbs up. Really? That's it. I don't know why that's honestly.
SPEAKER_01Here's my memory of Chuck Norris. Well, I have other ones, but this was one of the more prominent. He um was involved in this movie, and I don't remember all the details. It's probably low budget. Low budget. But it was a kid and him, and so like the kid was kind of like Leonardo DiCaprio. Okay. And he was asthmatic and not very athletic. Okay. But this kid had a a memor like he had an imagination. So like part of the movie was him imagining him and Chuck Norris in these fantastic situations where like they were like fighting off terrorists. And I remember watching that, and also it was on like Scramble Vision.
SPEAKER_03Like if you don't know what Scramble Vision is, you we don't have a half-hour explain um cable TVs, anti-theft. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Um but every once in a while you could you could twist your wires on the back of your cable box, and I would get you know, like some random station like stars at the time. I don't know what it was called.
SPEAKER_03Skinemax.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, skinemax. And you get it for like an hour, and then all of a sudden somehow it would cat, you know, like you couldn't get it anymore. But that movie was on all the time, and Chuck Norris was like him teaching that kid how to fight I mean karate or whatever he did. It was cool. I don't know. That was one of my memories of Chuck Norris. Good memories. Good memory. All right. Uh I don't know who that kid was. He was on Sequest. Do you remember Sequest? Oh, that wasn't um hold on. I got cause he he died, didn't he? Did he really? The main guy guy of uh Sequest? Yeah, like the well, he was a kid in Sequest. He was like He was a heartthrob. Yes, yes, I just remember that. Um I think he was in that movie. Really? He kind of was a late North of DiCaprio. Here we are. Uh Jonathan Brandis. Yeah, I think he was in it. Yes, and he had asthma, and he was very unathletic in the movie.
SPEAKER_03Wow, Jonathan Chuck Norris. Yeah, he divided he died in 2003. Really? Yeah. Jesus.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it was like we're having a sad ass fucking episode. Yeah, let's just tell you. Let's talk about some more dead people. Sorry. Sorry, buddy. If you're listening.
SPEAKER_03Um sorry. But yeah, that's my memories. Do you have something happier? Because I have like two more that are sad. I want to talk about the one. Really? Because I well, you know, I'm gonna get out of the way. I'm tired of talking about Subnautica 2 and how terrible Crafton is.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I you know it, but people are really downloading it, ready to go or whatever.
SPEAKER_03So they kind of won. Remember, told they got caught using AI. The judge was like, no. So they made them rehire them. Really? But in a bizarre story, like the Crafton CEO made a deal with an AI, with his AI company, with like uh and again, again, these are almost facts, almost gamers, but like it's like a 30 30 it was like a three billion dollar deal with some country to do like AI with them. I I I started to read the article because it's funny that it's on the article at the same time. He's like, oh, he lost this, you know, lawsuit to pay his actual employee who deserved the money $250 million, but at the same time, earned a three billion dollar deal with another contract for another thing. And I'm like, folks, but the world is the world is very strange. But anyways, so I guess that's kind of happy news. He got rehired, but didn't get his bonus yet because he still has to produce it it's fucked up, man. So I'm still Not gonna play some nautical two.
SPEAKER_02I'm not either because of you, man.
SPEAKER_03I mean, yes, all right. Hopefully we get sued for some defamation.
SPEAKER_01We should get sued. AI character. We're pretty much sue-worthy.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah. Um, speaking of AI and God of War, have you seen and maybe Matt will pop the image up somewhere around here? Did you see the early picture? So they're there.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw that. And it's everyone is saying, but not saying, Don't look at it, man. It's it's it's not real. But they can't say that because AI? Yes, I think Amazon released it. It but didn't AI, like AI, and everyone else is like, dude, I never posted that picture, but I'm not allowed to say that. Oh, okay. So you're optimistic. Yeah. Again, I'm being glass, mostly full. Dude, dude, you remember the first screen test shot of The Witcher? Witcher, yeah. Yeah. That's what I thought of.
SPEAKER_01I was like, shit. It did look like shit.
SPEAKER_03And then the series did some things.
SPEAKER_01We talked quite quite at length last time, and I remember this because I was skeptical, but Castlevania, Belmont's Curse is less dead cells, more classic Castlevania.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So they answered my concerns. Oh, I thought they had already answered your concerns.
SPEAKER_03Probably, but they're directly sad. And man of the um Almost Careless podcast. We need to shut you out directly. Yeah. Don't worry, dude. We gotcha.
SPEAKER_01All right. And that makes me I'm on board now.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_01I was a little nervous. For the when. Yeah. Oh, hey, Matt, for you. Mmm. This is you. Because you're a horror man, right? No, I don't like horror. Okay. But do you know um John Carpenter? Yeah, I mean, yes. Who doesn't? He lists his favorite video games of all time.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_01And three, he's really looking forward to, according to INGN. Um, okay. What do you think his favorite video games are, Matt? Do you have any ideas? I was saying Silent Hill 2. Hmm, good choice.
SPEAKER_03Uh Resident Evil 7. Interesting. Um Pokemon.
SPEAKER_01Alright. Pokemon. Matt is all wrong on all those. But his favorite video games are Borderlands 2. Okay.
SPEAKER_03I wonder if I'm saying it's loud, like, because you just because you are good at horror doesn't mean, you know.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_03You know, just because like I'm I'm, you know, really good at mixing and recording hip-hop. I enjoy it, but metal albums are usually my more first choice. But Sonic the Hedgehog? Yeah, see? Yeah, that's again, that makes sense.
SPEAKER_01Right. Fallout 76. Oh. Horizon Zero Dawn. Good story. He's a good storyteller. Assassin's Creed. He loves Assassin's Creed. Jesus. Okay. He's kind of like you a little bit. Yeah, I'm thinking him need to hang out with him. And Jack's Jack and Daxter. Mmm. Am I my favorites?
SPEAKER_03Motherfucker.
SPEAKER_01Get out of my head. He wouldn't him need to hang out. And then he li and then games he's looking forward to are John Carpenter's Toxic Commando, which I don't know what that means. I guess there's gonna be a Halloween, Halloween. I'm sorry, Halloween. And then he said, next Fallout game. He's a huge Fallout fan. That's why he's a Fallout 76 fan.
SPEAKER_03I can see that. But that is neat. So that me that tells me he is a gamer.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_03They just asked him a question, he picked like random horror games he looked up on YouTube. Yeah. Yeah, right. Obviously, yeah, actually games. But again, I I I I feel like if you're good at something, you don't necessarily want to do that in your free time. Right. That's why I listened to a lot of um Dantep Electronica, because I never recorded that shit. Right. And that was like, you know, you know, yeah. All right. Then I guess that was uh news tastical news. Yeah. There's some news newscles in your mouth, and I hope you enjoyed it.
Future Quests
SPEAKER_02Future quests.
SPEAKER_03What we what we Yin's gonna be playing is an alternate name for this segment. Um let's see, see if we get my uh cousins and nieces and friends to uh record that. But in the meantime, let's talk about what we got coming up. So, my my my main future quest in general is just to play a fucking game this week, man. Yeah, you gotta play something. Um I feel like I I have to play Fallout, New Vegas, just because of it. Where are you at? I'm definitely not at New Vegas yet. I'm somewhere up um I'm past the town with the dyno. Um yeah. I don't even know. I'm not very far past that. Uh but I have I've never gotten to New Vegas. I've never gotten to New Vegas. No. I'm now further in the game than I was uh back in the day when it originally first came out. So I definitely play more of that. And but it's weird. I also need to obviously finish, and I said I would, um, Outer Worlds 2. But I can't I can't really just switch back and forth between those two games. It's just the same maker. Yeah, yeah, it's it's too weird. Um and I just as as we were downstairs, I remembered, oh shit, Ender Magnolia. Yeah, you didn't finish that. I didn't finish that.
SPEAKER_01You're a bunch of games.
SPEAKER_03Well, that's why we call us almost. So I don't know about any of that. I mean, so obviously I need to play the games off fucking uh Hades 2. I will finish that no matter what. I've never not finished a uh Super Giant game. So I'm telling you, Super Giant. I promise you, Gen Z, Darren Corb, Ashley, everyone there at Super Giant. I will finish the game. I promise you. But uh other than that, one of my future quests is gonna be sometime soon, more than likely, Crimson Desert. You really get you're in it. Yeah, I thought you would have some blurbs about this. Yeah, what's what's your what's your thoughts? That was part of my news. So yeah, I figured it was newsy, but let's talk about it. It's a future quest. So our boy, Paul Tassi, yeah, he fucking loves that game.
SPEAKER_01And it's funny because it's very much like Starfield again. Did you know that? Did you did you read the reviews yet? Yeah, I've seen a little here and there. He went 9.5, which is literally what he rated Starfield. He doesn't always rate either.
SPEAKER_03He doesn't always like to do a number.
SPEAKER_01And he was like, I think that felt like at first I thought it was like a joke based on his 9.5, but it sounded like I skimmed through his review. I didn't read the whole thing.
SPEAKER_03Hey, that was one of his longest articles I think I've ever seen from him. Like he fucking loves that.
SPEAKER_01And then I realized he loves it. And I was like, oh, he's going all out. And then every single person or people I follow, like game reviewers, it's been a mixed bag, kind of kind of like Starfield sevens and sixes and eights. I gotta wonder what he said. The big thing is like And he went 9.5 again.
SPEAKER_03It seems like a game you have to spend 40 hours before you can even start. Right. And I feel like and I think a lot of reviewers honestly do that, you know? Yeah, they spent 10 hours like this game sucks. I don't know what the fuck's going on.
SPEAKER_01And I feel like that happened with Starfield quite a bit.
SPEAKER_03Yes, in the and I um I I'm excited.
SPEAKER_01I I actually did had no clue anything about that game.
SPEAKER_03A little. It was a little on my radar. I knew about Crimson Desert. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Which was the the the previous game, which is a free-to-play kind of uh well, that's how it started was kind of a multiplayer, you know, like one of those free to play.
SPEAKER_03Right, right.
SPEAKER_01But they people loved it, yeah. Yeah, but they switched and then this game, they switched and they said we're gonna do um si single player.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, they're basically they th they were gonna like, hey, we're gonna take this free MMO, make a single player, yeah, but really bigger.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and that and honestly, I didn't I was like, wow, I saw maybe a real one. It was like somebody said this map is insane, it's gonna be twice the size of Skyrim or whatever.
SPEAKER_03Which initially to me raised the red flags. I'm like, I don't want a big map. I don't want a big map. Some people that wouldn't like well, one of us is gonna have to play it. I think you play it. Yeah, it's gonna be well.
SPEAKER_01I've I have shit to finish. I have shit to finish. I don't have time for this. Well, you know, you do realize like you don't have much time, and this game is like 300 hours just to beat the. Oh, I know.
SPEAKER_03What am I gonna do? What do I do, folks? I should never have started a new career.
SPEAKER_01So uh Jackbox has moved into new development. They said uh Jackbox party pack developer moves into publishing with a game about a long yucky arm.
SPEAKER_03So is this gonna be like they're going for a long, it's not a party pack game, it's like a whole separate like game game? Sounds like it. So I didn't read the whole article, of course, yeah. There, because we're almost we're almost half news here. Thank you for that, Andrew. Just give us a little teaser and then uh go look up the fuck yourself because um we don't have time for that shit on this podcast.
SPEAKER_01And then for you, Matt, because uh we know Matt, he's very religious. Are you religious? I no. No, okay.
SPEAKER_03Well, I consider myself strict spiritualists spiritual.
SPEAKER_01All right, well, if you're spiritual, this might be working agnostic plus. Ooh. Plus. Plus. He's got to that stage. He's in the game plus moment. Right. Um Jesus Simulator. Oh. Released.
SPEAKER_03Uh there's an No, there's been a lot of yeah, there's been a lot of them. I don't I didn't. There's been a lot of Jesus simulator. Yeah, there's been quite quite a few, like, uh, yeah. I never heard of it. Yeah. Um, so this is this is a future quest for you? No, this is for you. Oh, it's for me. Um, this isn't no, how long? Because I know the the there's been some that have been like in long, long development. And um really, yes. Well, yeah, believe it or not, there's you know, I mean veggie tails, man. It's that's a whole like an industry, like the whole veggie tails? Veggie Tales? How do you all know about veggie tales? You're blowing my mind. Wow, yes, Andrew, yeah, um, Christianity. Um, has a huge retail market for all things media. Movies Kirk Cameron Kirk Cameron? Kirk Cameron, remember from Kirk Cameron? Yeah, yeah, dude. He's yeah, he's a huge like media empire. Really? Yes. And you think he made this game? I think he he possibly could have. I mean, I almost know, but I don't know.
SPEAKER_01Oh man.
SPEAKER_03Wow, you're uh yeah, you you thought you were uh bringing a huge nugget, like, oh my, they're making like a Jesus video game. Yeah. No, dude, it's it's it's been there, done that.
SPEAKER_01Done that. Well, well have you done it?
SPEAKER_03No. Well, I mean You done the Jesus. Future quests. Um, I think that's the end of Future Quests, possibly forever. Um, now that we've completely alienated the uh uh that whole market. Um I don't know what to say. So, yes, this was possibly the zaniest, craziest, um, dumbest episode we've ever done. Um I still can't believe you'd play the Jesus game. I didn't play the Jesus game. I was aware that it existed and that blew your mind. It sounds like you sounds like you might play it. Yeah, they're there. I mean, remember um the the the Jesus version of the um of Doom. Really? Not Doom. It was of um This sounds made up, man. Uh Quake or not Quake. Castlevania? Oh my god. Jesus Castlevania. Okay. So there's Doom, and then there's um the one with the Nazi guy.
SPEAKER_01Oh Wolfenstein.
SPEAKER_03Wolfenstein, yeah. There was like a remake of Castle Wolfenstein that was like you shot beans at sheep, and they turned into like they fell asleep. Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Dude, look at your weird Christian video game history, but don't.
SPEAKER_01Maybe we should judge that.
SPEAKER_03Oh no, no, there'll be no judging. Thank you.
SPEAKER_01Um, Jesus judges. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And our dads. Jesus judge me harshly. Um how do you know all this? How do you not? I mean, actually, yeah. I do know some pretty bizarre shit. But at least now there's obviously some pretty out there religious games. So they're probably sold at Babbage's andor electronics boutique. Oh, there it is. I remembered that. So thank you again, maybe, folks, for uh joining us here tonight. I'm Matty Flames, Andrew Wildes. And remember, you can't run from the devil unless you have some good shoes.